PlatinumSkink

RPGC #7 -- Loyalty/Resistance Voting AND Discussion

Huh. Nobody has said anything further, eh? Then, forgive me for double-posting.

His Greatness

... *immediately checks if there’s text between the lines* … Sorry, I had to. XD

… Um. Yupp. That’s a thing. Was there an artistic reason why some sentences start without a capital letter? Um. Anyway. Yupp. Not sure I can critique this at all. XD

A short mention, a simple account, a telling about our Glorious leader. Most divine is he.

And that’s got to be the longest title I’ve ever seen in a contest like this, but suppose that might be appropriate.

So, um. Um. Uuuuuuuuum. I am, um, significantly creeped out, but I think that might have been the intention, so brilliantly well done! XD
I was trying to come up with ways to praise the Glorious Leader in my entry, but seeing this, I clearly didn’t try hard enough. XD
Impeccably done. You are, no doubt, a master of the art of praising. I am happy to have found one such an entry among this batch. Hahaha! XD

Ode to King Han

Well. It sounded really good! XD

It feels a bit short. Like the entry didn’t have all that much of a point. Sure, he’s a great important guy and all, but was there nothing dramatic about this guy that could have been qualified as a ‘tale’? Because, yeah, this feels more like describing the guy rather than telling a tale about him.

But the contents aside, I’ll have you know I sang this entry out loud as I read it. And you know what? It sounded really good. So yeah, most excellently written a little piece of writing! I have no critique to give on that front! Good job! XD

*looks through the rest of the entries a little fast* Welp, there ended the short ones. XD

Officer’s Lounge

Heh. I’m amused. Who was it that promised to write a sci-fi western, again? XD

All in all, there isn’t all that much to this story. It’s a pretty simple story. The fact that it was kinda sci-fi didn’t really add anything specific to the enjoyment other than to make it just a bit stranger. However, I did enjoy what it was. It succeeded in being what it was, and it brought a little smile to my lips as I reached the conclusion. Thanks for providing it to me. Haha.

Firebrand

You're skilled in writing in the style of elderly tales, o poetic one. Haha.

Alright. That was a dramatic one. The tales of trails, and what was the result of leading these to their end. It was somewhat long, I did feel the pull of weariness as I read on, but this was a very well-written and powerful entry. You're skilled with your words, and spoke a tale like the classics of old. Beyond the apprehension of getting into a tale as mighty as this, I have nothing but words of praise for you. Dramatic and satisfying end to it, too. Well done.

Still. The “Trail of Loyalty” is an asshole trail. I get the point of it, but I get into roughly the same mood every time I run into it. Oh, well.

So You Want a Revolution?

*imagines the title said in the voice of that guy from that one Pokémon song* XD

Alright. Yupp, that's one way one could imagine things going in a revolution. 15 minutes into the future can be an exciting time. Though, yes. I didn't really feel anything magnificent or incredible which would cause me to vote for this entry. But, it is well enough written. I can't say anything negative about it either, really. Just didn't grab me. Well enough done, haha.

Marble's Mission

I'm... kind of prone to motion sickness. In fact, I'm kind of motion sick right now because of the bus ride I went on six hours ago. Let me tell you. THAT TRAIN RIDE DID NOT HELP MY SYMPTOMS. XD

… Puah. That... that was a trip. And with that, I mean it was like an actual acid trip or something. It was like a dream, so unfocused at what it was doing at the moment and constantly changing what strange imagery that it was deciding to show the viewer at any one time, changing the twists and contents of the story sporadically throughout the entire thing with no clear rhyme or reason. So random! I still have no idea what role Alice had, but I am pretty annoyed he didn't do more to defend her. Oh, well. So, uh. The entry was well written enough, and there's clearly no lack in imagination here, so allow me to just ask... What the heck happened here? I don't think I understood anything. Maybe choosing to read this instead of going to bed in this tired form was a bad idea. Or, maybe it was the best idea? I don't know. Hahahahaha.

I cannot have tips for this, because I still have no real clue what was going on there, or WHY these twists were happening. What were the roles of all these women and splitting guy? Of the spirits or that god? Why was the witch having her revolution and if she had good reason to do so or not? Why was the Diamond Queen called a hag by other knights? Why was that guy so big? Why was... … … Yes. I have no bloody idea, and I don't think I'm going to dwell on it longer than I need to. But, well, I did smile because it was so thoroughly strange? Hahaha. XD

Retribution

I... don't get it.

Oh, well.

…

Well, more like I don't feel it. It's excellently written, and I do believe I know what you're going for. Thing is, since I don't know what happened I can't go 'oh, that's clever' or 'oh, that's sad' or any other emotion. I'm just looking for answers, and looking for answers isn't good for my enjoyment of a piece. What kind of death could she have known was coming yet was the result of him ruining his life to ruin hers? The police-man said it was a crime-scene. If she was murdered, isn't it potential evidence? And he burned it. He destroyed the potential evidence. Hah. … In any case. It was a depressing little entry that didn't give me the information I desired. So... oh, well. Onto the next.

What's Wrong With Johnny

Well. It should be pretty obvious what's wrong with Johnny. Geesh. In any case. Um. Yeah. It's a pretty straight-forward story. I found the poem to be better suited to the story than the story itself, actually. Your writing is good, I don't need to say too much on that, however, allow me to just say that I'm not very good with depressing stories. It's like, the moment the war is mentioned my whole mind just went “Ah, one of THOSE stories” and I was reduced to roughly the same emotional state as that of the narrator.

So, yeah, um, well written, but look at the other guys for better feedback. I'm just going to go and sigh in depression all day. Hahaha...

My Vote

I @vote for Firebrand. So many brilliant ups and downs on that tale, and in the end, it looks like his loyalty paid off. And the fact it read and felt like ye olde tale style was an amazing bonus. Well done.

Puella Magi: The Wild Hunt

Heh. Alright.

Puella Magi: The Wild Hunt

@AtomicNut I have no idea what that word means but I can totally envision something like that gif to happen should Monika be located.

Puella Magi: The Wild Hunt

Monika Sakovich

“Kiih...!” Monika flinched in midair, pulling her wide-eyed face back as a sharp-looking pointy ruler flew straight past her head. It also surprised her how capable she herself was at dodging the things, but also… Th-this creature, this fat-looking creature was shooting school supplies as weapons…! This world is ridiculous! … And it also vanished. The creature vanished, and the world shuddered back into existence. The basic, normal back-alley that Monika had no idea where it was. Oh, no. A strike of fear at not knowing where she was came over the twelve-year old girl, but… it wasn’t as big as the relief of arriving out of that world.

“… Hah…” Monika landed, her legs bending flawlessly, and she blinked a bit noticing how her transformed state’s lack of shoes made her landing pretty soundless, yet her feet also didn’t hurt hitting the pavement. She leaned back against the nearest wall, breathing heavily while staring wide-eyed in stunned surprise at the scene before her, seeing three figures vanish in front of her. An older girl with blonde hair flying past her after the monster. A younger girl with blonde hair in what appeared to be a nurse uniform, running after. An older girl with dark hair, the one which had opened fire, who jumped out of Monika’s view. It… it appeared that they were other Magical Girls, Monika could conclude. Thank god. The situation was saved. Monika was still hidden, tears running down her cheeks as she breathed out in relief.

There… was a conversation going on in the direction the others had arrived from. Monika looked in the direction. There was… A pink-haired eastern foreigner. A red-haired girl who had just shouted at another. A blonde girl in red facing back against her. A girl in white and cyan which had just stepped in. A, uh, blonde older woman in blue. Someone’s mother? Um. Maybe not. In any case, these appeared to be other Magical Girls, who had come here for the monster. It was relieving to no end for Monika to see that she wasn’t alone. But… were they getting along? Were they safe? … Deciding to use the power to hide to her advantage, Monika stepped closer to the conversation, invisible. She’d listen in. She’d decide if this was a safe group, if the participants were dependable and could be trusted. She’d lean by the wall, staring cautiously, listening to them while hoping not to be dragged in.

Her emotions were still in a deeply disturbed situation due to the monster, but… th-this was for her own survival… spying was something she had to do in order to feel braver. She’d have to talk to them eventually, right? They were in on this together, right? Monika just… needed to get brave enough to talk to them, first… And maybe wait until they eventually split up and after that follow the one she has deemed the most suitable to talk with first, because approaching one could be easier than approaching a group…

Puella Magi: The Wild Hunt

Let's see. Was there anyone who didn't transform? Hm, I should have kept track of that.

Edit: Phew, there. Alright. Time for Monika to attempt to build her courage. Currently making use of her power to determine safety. My apologies, everyone this might make uncomfortable. Hahaha.

Puella Magi: The Wild Hunt

Hm. Alright. I believe I know what Monika will do next. It's a little loud here to just sit down and cry, after all. Haha.

Puella Magi: The Wild Hunt

@kusanagifire I'm invisible, yes, but I did shout. Regardless, it feels proper to wait for the only other character in my immediate vicinity to post before I post again, even if she won't interact with me. XD

Puella Magi: The Wild Hunt

I'm waiting for Frederica's next post. Since she, well, did something that I reacted to, she might do something in turn. Might. Doesn't have to, but I'll wait just in case.

The Darkness Descends (Fantasy Conquest RP)

I had a random useless train of thoughts, that I would randomly want to share to those that might want to read.

Useless Train of Thoughts

So, the Broken Empire clearly showed me the use of meat shields. Those undead took the brunt for all our forces and ensured that we took absolutely no casualties in that battle. This makes me realize that I would really have use of meat shields of my own. Looking at Conscript Units, I can make 3000 of them in a province at once if I research that. 3000! That's more than my entire army in numbers right now, and that's just a single province! But, that leads to an inevitable problem.

Orngat would never do that to its citizens. Meat shields? No friggin' way. They could never do that. So, thinking of ways I could fix that... maybe I could say that all these conscript infantry is actually extremely low-budget mass-produced machines that is not even 1% of the quality of a true Mechanical Warrior, essentially just created to stand in the way of enemy forces? I'm not even sure I'd be allowed to say that, considering machines isn't a race to chose from, but even if we say I can, that leads to another little problem.

Since I did not pick "Fearless" as a trait, because I really have no in-universe reason to, the people of Orngat AREN'T fearless, how would I explain why these machines feel fear? ... ... ...

Why Machines Feel Fear (Theoretical Scenario)

Penokio raised his hand as if to strike the low-budget bare-bones mechanical construct, and it immediately flinched, its knees bending in terror, its arms coming up to shield its face. Wearing a thoroughly undisturbed expression, Penokio turned to the ever so brilliant young inventor, with a very good question on his mind.

"Say, why does this robot feel fear?" Penokio asked.

"Isn't it absolutely adorable?!" Jonathan smiled brightly. "I managed to program in basic emotions! I know I shouldn't have, but I had too much fun while I was designing their artificial intelligence! They're now going to fawn over cute things and recoil from scary things! They'll be the cutest little robots ever!" The young engineer smiled brightly as he looked like he was going to get all the praise from his teacher for this brilliant invention.

"Sure, that's amazing and all..." Penokio noted, looking over and seeing two of the robots kneeling down and making odd noises cuddling with a cat that did not seem to appreciate their mechanical hands. "... But you DO realize these were invented to go to BATTLE, right?"

"Yes! Of course! Is there a problem?" Jonathan asked, tilting his head a little, looking confused and happy at Penokio.

"... How long would it take to recall all the robots and remove their fear?" Penokio asked, a kind of tired stare looking at the brilliant young engineer.

"Oh, dear, seeing how they're already being mass-produced, and... Wait, maybe I could design a tower that could change all their programming at once... Let's see... About three seasons?" Jonathan calculated the time it would take to research the Fearless trait on his fingers, getting a very focused look as he did. "But why would we ever do that?" He asked, looking back at his teacher in confusion.

"... No reason." Penokio said with an exhausted tone, as he left Jonathan smiling at his robot creations while he himself went out into the corridor and started hitting his head into the wall a few times. Jonathan's very difficult to deal with sometimes...

... XD

Edit: Wait... "You can only learn traits in categories that you already have a trait in." ... So, uh, I couldn't research conscript units even if I wanted because I have no traits among the "Conscript Military Unit" category? ... HAH!

The Darkness Descends (Fantasy Conquest RP)

@Romero Why, yes, I believe that was me saying that I wanted to research Increased rate of production of Mechanical Warriors, or something. Though, I'll examine the list, and then make a calculated conclusion on what might be the most important trait for me to obtain, right now. I can only get one per three turns, after all, and I think I'll have to be prepared to be under attack every single turn from now on. And me who was playing with possibly researching trains. No way, huh. Haha.

Researching how to research technology traits faster? XD