This is NOT fine. -Nyxia Torrentia, Neon Tempest of the Ultraviolet Rainbow
From what little Nyxia was able to understand of the scene unfolding around her, the rest of the club, aside from herself and Rei, had been placed in some form of shared dream by the new girl, Black Gate. By the sound of things, it had been far from a pleasant one. That alone was disturbing enough, but when the goat girl revealed that she knew the Neon Tempest’s true identity, she felt her skin crawl and her blood boil. However, before the increasingly furious tealette could say or do anything further, Roche transformed, shattered the clubroom window and called for her aid. Apparently, whatever this “Black Gate” did, it had resulted in a sizable quantity of Miseria manifesting at the school. In broad daylight. And the only other time that had happened, it had led to…
“Right behind ya!” Nyxia told her partner. The events of this day had been a confusing whirlwind, to be sure, but killing Miseria promised a stress-relieving normality she could very much get behind. Yet, before she joined the tribal girl atop the school roof, the Neon Tempest paused by the shattered window and turned to fix Black Gate with a withering glare. “I’ll deal with you later!” she told the goat-eared interloper. “And keep your fuckin’ shit monkeys the fuck away from me, ya got that?!”
After saying these parting words, Nyxia leapt out the window and flung herself onto the roof, where plenty of foes were hopefully waiting to be slaughtered. What she found, however, was not a Miseria. “Fuck this...” she snarled, before aiming her beloved death ray and unleashing a blinding lance of pure annihilation striaght at the giant disgusting monkey creature's heart.
I don’t know what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn’t this… -Nyxia Torrentia, Neon Tempest of the Ultraviolet Rainbow
As she leapt from rooftop to rooftop, Nyxia’s vision was blighted by no small number of the shadow monkeys. That said, all she came across were swiftly vaporized by the Omega Obliterator’s baleful beam of incandescent annihilation, its ruinous radiance dimmed only slightly by the light of the midday sun. Indeed, by the time she reached the school, the malformed creatures finally seemed to realize just how potent her weapon was, and began to either hide or flee when they saw her approach. The Neon Tempest could only imagine how her fellow club mates were faring, or what manner of foe had conjured the penumbral primates, yet, even so, the sight that greeted her when she entered the club room was quite possibly the last thing she would have expected.
There before her was the rest of the club. In their pajamas. Asleep.
The fuck…?
Although it could have been some sort of school sleepover to which she had not been invited, the hoard of shadow monkeys pervading Hibusa Town made that possibility rather unlikely. No, this was clearly the work of their mystery foe, although why they had chosen to do this was beyond Nyxia’s powers of comprehension. Before she could attempt to wake anyone up, the door to the clubroom opened, revealing what was very likely the source of the current insanity.
“What the fuck do you think?!” Nyxia snapped back at the new arrival when the mystery girl asked if she (or perhaps the whole club) was okay, even as the charged up barrel of the Omega Obliterator was swung to point directly at her. “What the fuck is going on here?! And who the fuck even are you, anyway?!”
No sooner had she said this, then two of her slumbering club mates woke up (in very different ways). Well, at least that was a good sign.
What would Kaito do, Norika wondered. If her brother were here, he would most assuredly leap into action without an ounce of fear, not hesitating for a moment to do whatever was necessary to protect her. But he wasn’t here. Norika would have to protect herself. For the old Norika, that would have been utterly impossible, but she wasn’t that frightened, useless girl anymore, she reminded herself. And she didn’t want to be. She was stronger now, far stronger than she could have ever imagined possible, and she loved it, loved everything about it. So why should she fear if others knew? Why should she care what they thought? Why should she care about anything other than being the version of herself she had always wanted to be? And that version wouldn’t sit back and hide like a crybaby. No, she would do what needed to be done, to hell with the consequences. With that decided, there was only one thing left for Norika to do…
Fuck it. -Nyxia Torrentia, Neon Tempest of the Ultraviolet Rainbow
In a flash of neon majesty, Nyxia leapt out of bed, smashed through her window, and raced towards the school. Her powerful legs sent her leaping from rooftop to rooftop, and if she saw any of those disgusting shadow monkeys on her way, she’d annihilate them without a second thought.
I don’t know what the fuck is going on, the Neon Tempest seethed. But you can bet your ass I’m gonna fucking find out!
Enhanced Weapon | Power Artifact | Mystic Artifact | Ally | Interdimensional Home
Focused | Mental Link | Hidden Death | Mana Font | Mystic Might
Alien Mind | Formless | Rival Force | Clueless
Mia
3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 5 | 8 | 7 | 22 | 5
Wood | Barrage
Enhanced Weapon | Dual Weapon | Purification Artifact | Big Red Button
Blessing | Divine Competence | Gifted Item | Mana Font | Mystic Might
Rites| Arrogance | Big Brother | Clueless
Connie had to stifle a gasp when the newly-arrived cat-like magical girl introduced herself as Cheshire Cat. Yet, although she shared her name with the most frightening character from Alice in Wonderland (at least in Connie’s opinion), the girl before them thankfully didn’t appear to be anywhere near as creepy or threatening as that horrifying monstrosity. And apparently she liked making references to classic literature, at least if Branch Nose’s observations were anything to go by (that, in itself, was more than a little surprising, but then, when did anything in this place make even the slightest bit of sense?). However, it was after that short tangent had concluded, that Cheshire Cat proved herself to be a source of terror after all, when she revealed the means by which they could join their victorious allies at the castle gates.
“D-D-Do we r-really h-have to g-go d-down t-that…?” Connie inquired, cringing away from the dangerous-looking slide, the eyes of her mask growing wide and its color seeming to grow even paler than usual.
“Not to worry, little sister,” Gaia told her with a reassuring smile. “I shall create an alternative means of transit for us, and whoever else might wish to make use of it as well.” With that, the verdant maiden glided to the opening in the wall, and stretched out her hand. A moment later, the sound of rumbling was followed by the sprouting of a massive bean stalk. Its towering form uncurled in vibrant green splendor as it rose up next to the giant slide, its oversized leafs easily able to fit several people with room to spare. Wrapping an arm around her timid friend’s shoulders, the botanical beauty guided Connie onto the closest leaf. After waiting a moment for anyone who wished to join them, Gaia placed an elegant hand upon the stalk’s mighty trunk, at which point it began to sink back into the ground like a living elevator.
Once they reached the bottom, it quickly became evident that a massive battle had just concluded. Along with the rest of their team, there was a small army of merfolk, a departing dragon that was probably Mayra, several copies of Penny, and… Was that Violet…?
“I-Is she o-okay?” Connie whispered to Gaia, concern filling her shaky voice.
“I believe she is merely sleeping, little sister,” her best friend replied in an equally subdued voice. “Although I fear what repercussions might ensue if anyone was able to link her with her whimsical alter ego,” the Daughter of Mother Earth added with a troubled frown. “To say nothing of how she might react upon awakening…”
As if to prove her point, Rachel chose that moment to walk over and awaken the slumbering heiress with her magic. However, the Inquisitor did not linger and swiftly returned to the main group, which was actively engaged in conversation.
“Well, at least no one else seems to have noticed her,” Gaia observed. “Come on,” she instructed, leading Connie over. “Let’s try to give her some privacy.”
Moving to stand in front of where one of the Penny copies was holding Violet, the pair used their bodies, along with their voluminous tresses, to shield their awakening friend from prying eyes.
Violet gave voice to a sleepy groan as she slowly opened her eyes. At first, she wondered where she was, but all too quickly, her memories flooded back. She had defeated that strange Jabberwock creature, which had made her so exhausted that she had decided to take a nap on a friendly cloud. She had gone on to have a very enjoyable dream in which she’d met the most adorable goblin girl shopkeeper imaginable. Of course, she had also been innocently unaware of the fact that her mana had been so comprehensively depleted that returning to her mundane self as soon as she lost consciousness was inevitable. She was far from unaware of that now, though…
To her mounting horror, it was painfully obvious to Violet that she was no longer transformed. Thankfully, someone had caught her before she’d plummeted to her death, but the fact that she’d been stupid enough to place herself in such a situation innthe first place was deeply concerning, almost as much as the possibility of revealing her true identity to potentially dozens of people. To her considerable relief, the young heiress soon realized that her savior was none other than Penny, or one of her girlfriend’s copies, to be precise. That, coupled with the fact that Connie and Gaia seemed to be doing their best to shield her from the others’ sight boded well for the continued viability of her secret identity.
“Penny,” Violet whispered to the copy holding her. “Would you mind taking me to The Bastion?” she inquired. “I need some additional time to regain my strength and I would greatly appreciate some privacy while I do so.”
Even as she said this, the young heiress noticed that she was clutching a small stone with a happy face carved into it. The sight of it brought a smile to her own formerly worried visage. After all, if this wasn’t a sign that her worst nightmare would not, in fact, come to pass, she didn’t know what was.
In another reality plenum, the protectors of another Earth had just faced their own worst nightmare, and triumphed over it. When an eldritch horror the size of Australia had manifested in the Atlantic Ocean, over a hundred magical girls from several countries rose up to combat it, and that included the magical defenders of New York City. However, these weren’t magical girls, but rather, magical women, and among their number was Isra Mahmud, better known as the techno-Egyptian magical woman…
“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
— Isra Mahmud
Although from the perspective of the Penrose Pack it had only been a few hours since Osiris had returned to her universe after conducting some training at her employer’s lab, the fact that time moved at different rates in different reality plenums meant that well over a year had elapsed for the magical woman. In that time, she had succeeded in acquiring 49 Heart Crystals, just as the wise scientist who paid her not-inconsiderable salary had assured her she would. With only one remaining, it seemed fated that the monster in question would be a suitably challenging foe, and as it happened, suitably challenging didn’t even begin to describe it…
The entity that appeared over the Atlantic could perhaps best be described as a mind-bendingly enormous mushroom, composed of giant skulls, glowing, crystalline thorns, and acid-dripping, toothy maw-tipped tendrils, covered in hundreds of eyes. Its warped form was ringed by crackling lightning serpents, rapidly rotating bands of barbed wire, and orbiting, obsidian demonic elephant-headed obelisks, which wept tears of crystalized hopelessness, while trumpeting out the lyrics to every Linkin Park song simultaneously (yes, really). Indeed, such was its level of randomly absurd edginess, that the team’s resident pretentious, coffin-obsessed goth mommy was forced to concede how aesthetically pleasing it was during one of her long-winded speeches.
But Osiris didn’t care about any of that. This was simply a job, and she was going to do it, and then enjoy another bubble bath (If not a tan on the newly liberated beach). As it happened, her team possessed the precise mixture of abilities to penetrate right to the heart of the absurd abomination, while the various other teams and individual girls occupied the colossal creature’s attention on the outside with their flashy, but ultimately ineffectual, attacks. This was unequivocally for the best, as Osiris was determined to claim this latest monster’s Heart Crystal as well. With it, she would have 50, which hopefully meant that not only would she get her biggest payday yet, but she would also no longer have to associate with such an annoying collection of losers (like the 8-year-old idiot who was crying her eyes out because her new “friendy wendy, Mister Wister Organ Worgan thingy wingy”, had begun dissolving along with the rest of the giant skull-shroom-crystal-doom-monster-thing, or the sanctimonious paladin/angel woman who was trying, and failing, to console her).
Yes, the battle had been a fierce one, far fiercer and far more epic than any that pitiful Penrose had ever seen (at least, up to this point), but it was now over. The creature was vanishing like a bad fever dream, and its Heart Crystal, the final Heart Crystal Osiris had been tasked with obtaining, was at long last in her possession. The team’s ostensible fire-themed leader was saying some sort of small speech, but Osiris simply tuned her out (after all, it wasn’t like the crimson-haired bitch ever listened to any of her teammates anyway). However, the beeping of her communicator couldn’t be so easily ignored…
“Nice work, Osiris,” Doctor Nykannis, Queen of the Mad Scientists congratulated the magical woman, her tiny, holographic form rising out of a projector on one of Osiris’s gauntlets. “Ya finally got all fifty Heart Crystals, and just in time, too! Come to The Lab, and I’ll use ‘em to unlock your final form,” her employer instructed. “Ya think you’re a badass now? Well, just wait until ya see what the energy of fifty Heart Crystals supercharged by yours truly can do! Nyahahahaha!!! That power boost, coupled with the experience you’ve gained over the past year, and a final quick round of training sims, will allow you to unlock your full potential! Then you can begin your real mission,” the Monarch of Mad Science went on, grinning maniacally as she did so. “But I know you couldn’t give a shit about any of that. Still, something tells me you’re really gonna like your bonus pay…”
“I hope.” Osiris was sitting in the middle of a particularly large crater as she spoke with her employer. “Hmmmm, final form. Final.” She repeated it again. “We’ll still be working together for some time, right?”
“Of course,” Nykannis replied, as if the answer was the most obvious thing ever. “I don’t discard useful assets, and you’ve proven yourself to be very useful indeed.”
“Oh.” It wouldn’t be very good if she needed to find a job elsewhere. Her prospects were likely a lot better now, but could anyone really offer her what Nykannis could? “I’ll be with you shortly, doctor.”
“Excellent.”
…
Severing the communications link, Nykannis gazed upon a figure in a glowing vat at the very heart of her Lab. “Everything is falling into place, wouldn’t you say, Finn?”
B-Being paralyzed by indecision really is the worst… -Norika Tsukishima
Norika waited, and waited, and then waited some more. The sounds of voices and combat could no longer be heard, but that didn’t mean some hidden spy wasn’t watching her at this very moment, waiting for her to slip up and reveal her deepest, most well-kept secret. But was she really content to simply hide in her room and pretend to be asleep while a battle against some dark magical girl’s minions transpired around her? “O-Oh, Kaito…” she whispered as she clutched her precious ray gun pendant. “W-What should I do?”
J-Just when I thought things couldn't get any stranger… -Norika Tsukishima
Despite her hatred for the servant staff, Norika couldn’t help but feel relieved when she realized the maid lying on the floor before her was merely unconscious, and not dead. However, that relief soon turned to shock when the woman began speaking, soon joined by her prone companion, causing Norika to quickly recoil backwards. It soon became apparent that both women were simply dreaming, but what insights their words gave as to the contents of said dreams was enough to replace Norika’s shock wth a mixture of disgust and horror.
W-What the fuck…? the sickly girl wondered, her face contorted in a look of utter revulsion that was more suited to her magical alter ego.
Yet, she wouldn’t have long to ponder the disturbing scene before her, as the maids’ mumblings were joined by the ever-louder sounds of marching feet. And then, animalistic screeches. Her bewilderment at an all time high, Norika grabbed her cane and crawled back to her nearby room as quickly as her meager strength would allow. Slipping inside and closing the door until only a small slit remained, she peeked through it to see what form of creatures had invaded her home. To her horror, the source of the strange sounds revealed themselves as shadowy, simian-like creatures. They jumped on the sleeping maids but didn’t seem to be harming them. Even so, their presence here, in broad daylight, was concerning in the extreme, and couldn’t be allowed. Even if they weren’t Miseria, but just part of some elaborate scheme to get her to reveal to some unknown party that she was, indeed, a magical girl, Norika knew she couldn’t just let these creature run rampant through her home. Thus, when they began moving towards her hiding place, the sickly girl was about to transform on the spot and do a bit of housekeeping of her own.
However, just before she could do so, a weapon of some sort shot down the corridor and annihilated several of the shadow monkeys. As a second volley finished off the rest, a wide-eyed Norika’s dizzy mind raced to determine the attack’s source. Even if she didn’t pay particularly close attention to the other members of the club, aside from Roche, she was pretty sure none of them employed magic or weapons like the shimmering, almost ethereal rings she was currently witnessing make short work of the home invaders. Maybe they were the work of the new girl, Hizuki, she pondered. After all, the high tech light girl seemed to have plenty of interesting tricks up her proverbial sleeve. Perhaps this was one of them? But shouldn’t she be in school right now? More to the point, what were these shadowy simians, anyway, and why had they infiltrated her home? They didn’t seem to be Miseria. Were they some of The Voyeur’s dark constructs?
T-That fucking bitch… Norika seethed, her teeth grinding together as fright was replaced by fury. If she sent those things to spy on me…
Yet, that line of thinking was obliterated just as swiftly as the penumbral primates had been, when her “rescuer” rounded the corner. Striding down the hallway was a figure wearing an odd outfit, and wielding a strange gun of some sort. Upon closer inspection, he was a young boy, one who looked to be around the same age as…
F-Finn?!
While his hair was different, along with many of his facial features, there were enough similarities that Norika was almost certain that this apparent magical boy and her highly suspicious tutor were one and the same. Her certainty only grew when she heard him speak. Although he called himself “Fable”, his voice was unmistakably Finn’s. But then, what did this mean? Who had sent the penumbral primates, and who was Fable working for? Were they allies or enemies? Even the boy’s words to some unknown party provided precious little insight, aside from the confirmation that the shadow monkeys were definitely not Miseria. Norika was forced to put her ruminations on hold a moment later, when Fable began moving closer to her room. With a gasp, she rapidly moved away from the door and clambered back into her bed. Like a child trying to avoid being caught staying up past her bed time, Norika pulled the covers over her head, hiding her shuddering body and pretending to be asleep as she waited to see what would happen next.
After what seemed like an eternity of listening to the sound of her pounding heart, but was actually only a few seconds, she heard the door slowly open. Peeking from beneath the sheets, she saw Fable peering into the room, only to watch the boy retreat a moment later, her ruse apparently having fooled him. Through the door, she could faintly hear him conversing with his unknown ally again, noting that the dark magical girl responsible for the monkey minions did not appear to be nearby, bringing Norika some small measure of relief. Still, she had no idea what she should do next. Fable had mentioned that Hibusa High might also be in danger, and although she knew Roche and the rest of the Detention Club were more than capable of taking care of such minor foes, the possibility of finding whoever summoned them, and subsequently letting that individual know just how much she hated having their disgusting creations in her house, was quite appealing. Then again, if she transformed and left the house now, it would very likely confirm to Fable, and whoever else might be watching her home, that she truly was a magical girl, thwarting all her work to conceal her identity in one fell stroke. Understandably, this was something Norika wished to avoid at all costs.
Enhanced Weapon | Power Artifact | Mystic Artifact | Ally | Interdimensional Home
Focused | Mental Link | Hidden Death | Mana Font | Mystic Might
Alien Mind | Formless | Rival Force | Clueless
Mia
3 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 3 5 | 8 | 7 | 22 | 5
Wood | Barrage
Enhanced Weapon | Dual Weapon | Purification Artifact | Big Red Button
Blessing | Divine Competence | Gifted Item | Mana Font | Mystic Might
Rites| Arrogance | Big Brother | Clueless
Connie gasped as Ronin, with all her usual fearlessness, simply walked up to the door that might have possibly been the correct one and opened it. Equally alarmed, Gaia readied her staff to unleash nature’s full fury on whatever fiendish adversary might await on the other side. After all, despite what Ronin (and Lily) might have thought, there was a big difference between courageous confidence and suicidal recklessness. Yet, when the door was opened, no such threat presented itself, and the verdant maiden and her masked friend both breathed a sigh of relief. However, what was revealed was a nondescript corridor, leading to still another door. In other words, the perfect location for a trap. That said, it wasn’t like they had any other options. Thus, when Ronin and Miko entered, followed by Lily and Alex, Gaia asked Branch Nose to inform Alicia that they were moving forward, before taking hold of Connie’s trembling hand and guiding her timid friend through the door, with the returned Paladin Seraph and miniature ent bringing up the rear.
Once the entire party had entered the corridor, the door behind them slammed shut, prompting another yelp of horror from Connie, but it soon became apparent that there was nothing to fear from the corridor, as mere moments later, the door before them opened, displaying what appeared to be an opulent library beyond. Of course, this being Wonderland, the books themselves were clearly enchanted, the various tomes flapping around like birds. Other than that, though, the chamber appeared almost cozy, with a warm, relaxing ambiance. Even so…
“We shouldn’t let our guard down,” Gaia advised as she carefully scanned the room, taking particular note of the various other doors scattered about.
Indeed, no sooner had she said this, then one of those doors opened and a cat-themed magical girl stepped out, startling poor Connie once more in the process. However, the newcomer did not appear to be hostile, rather quite the opposite, if what she said was to be believed. Unsurprisingly, Gaia wasn’t entirely convinced of the cat-girl’s sincerity, and neither was Branch Nose, who voiced the question the verdant maiden herself was just about to ask. The answer provided was more than a little perplexing, but if Gaia understood correctly, the cat girl served someone who secretly opposed the queen, someone who had aided in Alexander’s escape from the castle. This was confirmed by the magical boy himself, who also noted that trusting her was probably their best option, but that still didn’t address the core problem, something Alicia helpfully noted.
“I must concur with the Paladin Seraph,” Gaia spoke up. “Our purpose for infiltrating this castle was to rescue Mariette,” the nymph-like girl continued. “Since both she and the queen are no longer present, then it would seem we have no further need to linger here.”
“M-Mia’s right!” Connie added. “A-And if the c-city’s being a-attacked, e-everyone who s-stayed behind c-could be in d-danger!” The masked maiden’s trembling hands clenched into fists as her mind filled with images of Emily, Shane, Rose, Iris, and Miss Kaylie as well, all juxtaposed with the horrible deaths of Nuncio and Sammy. “I-I… I-I d-don’t wanna lose a-any more f-friends!”
While many interesting and dramatic things might have been happening around her, Violet was in no position to participate, as the heiress was still deep in dreamland. On the one hand, this was a good thing, as she did not have to deal with the horrifying realization that she had just revealed her secret identity to a great many people, and thus, attend to the not-insignificant ramifications of said revelation. Yet, on the other hand, this is a bad thing, as it does not provide much content with which to fill a Plenumic Observational Situation Transcript. Unless, of course, we take a moment to peer into the contents of the dream the young Miss Covington is currently having…
…
…
…
Appropriately enough, Violet had once again assumed the form of Magical Dream Princess and she had found herself in what seemed to be an underground shop of some kind. The close cavern walls and rows of shelves were illuminated by small lanterns, creating a warm and cozy ambiance.
“Like, what’s this placey wacey~?” MDP wondered aloud as she examined all the various items as only someone as ADHD addled as her could. “There are, like, sooo many wany different wifferent thingy wingies heresie weresie~! (giggle!)” In fact, the whimsical girl was having so much fun as she bounced around the various narrow aisles, that she was inspired to sing a cute and silly song she’d made up on the spot.
“Onesie, twosie, threesie, foursie~! Take a look around the storesie~! Twirly whirly, one, two, three~! Giggle wiggle, Tee hee hee~! Dance around the shelfy welfies~! Find a goodie, help herselfy~! This sticky wicky looks like a dragon wagon wing~! And this bottle wottle is full of crawly waly things~! Like, even though she’s undergroundy, there’s soooo much stuffy all aroundy~! (giggle!)”
Eventually, the bubbly girl was noticed by the shopkeeper, who called out in an equally cheerful voice, “Hi! Hi! Welcome ta Zoppy’z shoppy! Zoppy’z got lotz o’ nicey nice fingz! Did ya see any ya wanna buy?!”
“Awww~! You’re super duper adorable worable~! (giggle!)” the whimsical girl told the tiny shopkeeper, even as she bounced over to wrap her up in a tight hug. “Like, Magical Dream Princess could huggy wuggy and cuddle wuddle you for ever and ever and ever and ever~!”
“D-Dankz…?” The somewhat dazed goblin girl replied, though her initial shock and confusion were soon replaced by enjoyment at being pressed against the bubbly girl’s chest as she was rocked back and forth. “Y-Yer reeeeally soooft…” she added sleepily, her eyes closing and her mouth curling into a contented smile.
“Thanky wankies, Zoppy Woppy~!” MDP replied, her cheerful voice practically oozing sickening sweetness. “Like, Magical Dream Princess just wuvs your little wittle shoppy woppy~!” she told the huggable goblin. “And, like, she’d also totally wotally wuv to be friendy wendies with you, too~! (giggle!)” Setting Zoppy back on the floor, she crouched down and held out her pinky. “Like, this is Magical Dream Princess’s super duper special wecial pinky winky friendy wendy promise womise~!” the childish girl explained as she used her other hand to lift up Zoppy’s non-deformed arm and placed the goblin’s pinky against her own. “Allsie wallsie Zoppy Woppy has to do is follow wollow alongy wongy while Magical Dream Princess says the super special wecial friendship wendship spell~! (giggle!) Here we go, round and roundy~!” she began as she used her pinky to guide Zoppy’s hand in a series of circles. “Friendship wendship will aboundy~! Friendy wendies, yay, yay, yay~! Friendy wendies, hip, hip, horaaaay~! (giggle!)” With that, MDP concluded the “spell” by pulling her hand away, spreading her fingers wide (forming several tiny glittery fireworks in the process), and then giving Zoppy another hug. After a few more seconds of gleeful giggles, an important detail finally managed to enter the Princess of Dreams’ bubbly brain. “Oh! Magical Dream Princess just rememeber wembered~! Zoppy Woppy wanted to sell something womething to Magical Dream Princess, didn’t widin’t she~?! Like, Magical Dream Princess knows just the thingy wingy~! (giggle!) Magical Dream Princess would wuv to havey wavey something womething to remember wember Zoppy Woppy by when she goes backy wacky homey womey,” MDP explained. “Like a pebble webble pally wally~!”
“A lucky stone…?” Zoppy asked, her ears perking up along with her formerly sleepy expression. “Zoppy’z got lotz o’ dose!” the little merchant added, grabbing her cutesy customer’s hand and scampering over to where all the lucky stones were stored, her new friend filling the small shop with her sweet giggles as she was led along. “Ere ya go!” Zoppy announced, gesturing to where several dozen stones rested on several different shelves.
After taking a few moments to look over the various rocks and pebbles, MDP gave voice to a delighted squeal, “Ooooh~! Like, Magical Dream Princess thinkie winkies this stoney woney looks extra wextra friendly wendly~!” No sooner had MDP picked up the stone in question, then it came to whimsical life and began happily conversing with her, much to Zoppy’s amazement. Once the incongruous pair had finished getting to know each other, MDP turned her attention back to the stupified shopkeeper. “Like, how muchy wuchy does Zoppy Woppy want for Mister Wister Stoney Woney~?” she inquired.
“Well… Zoppy was gonna sell ‘em fer many lotz, but since ‘e’z a super lucky talkin’ stone, ‘e shud probably cost… many many many… many lotz?” the shopkeeper asked hopefully.
“Like, Magical Dream Princess thinkie winkies thatsie watsie’s the perfect werfect amounty wounty~! (giggle!)” MDP declared, before waving her whimsical wand and conjuring a pile of glittering prismatic gems, which she poured into Zoppy’s eagerly awaiting hands.
“Dankz lotz!” the overjoyed goblin told her with a big smile.
“Like, Zoppy Woppy’s totally wottally welcome~!” MDP replied with a playful wink. “Like, Magical Dream Princess has to go bye bye for nowie,” she told her new friend. “But, like, she’s positive wositve she’ll see Zoppy Woppy againsie wensie in no timey wimey at allsie wallsie~! (giggle!)”
“Yer a really great customer, so Zoppy’ll look forward ta it!” Zoppy replied.
“Byeeeeeeee~!” MDP called out, waving as the world blurred around her. She couldn’t wait to see what kinds of new friends she’d meet in her next dream…
“How perplexing… Miss Taihei’s defenses are objectively weaker than your own by several thousand orders of magnitude, and yet, where The Storyslayer was able to breach yours with effortless ease, it now appears incapable of penetrating this mere aquatic artificer’s…”
“That’s because Terrible Luck Taihei has more protagonist power than I do. Or, put another way, she’s got the Grand Magistrate’s favor on her side, which is one of the reasons I’d never try to fight Penny myself, despite being tens of thousands of times more powerful than her. Even with the objective staggering power differential, instead of smashing her into microscopic paste, I’d basically be committing suicide. Look, here’s another example. Mika should, by all objective logic, be throwing her ditzy life away going up against something as powerful as Mikayla Synnot, but the reality is, little miss Netherrealm Queen is going to get her ethereal ass force fed down her spectral throat, one way or another.”
“Most fascinating… I must admit, the rules framework governing this particular reality plenum has always eluded even my most intrusive attempts at perceiving its immensely intriguing intricacies.”
“You can say that again… But, really, it’s not all that difficult. Once you know how the Grand Magistrate thinks, you can predict pretty much how any series of events is gonna turn out, which is why this little drama with the Queen of Tarts is so fucking hilarious.”
“Yet, that is the crux of my predicament, for the presiding Grand Magistrate is a study in contradictions, his arbitrations blessing some, while cursing others, without proverbial rhyme or reason. If there is a formulaic method to his actions, even I, a being at the 2374th level of mentalic acuity, cannot discern it. Indeed, I fear that even my most exemplary pupil, Thyerg’Xolys, would be comprehensively confounded by it.”
“He’s trying to orchestrate a story, one he hopes will be entertaining to read, but which really just caters to his own personal preferences. The question then becomes: what are those preferences? It’s taken some time, mind you, but I’ve gradually pieced together a psychological profile of this ‘Supreme Storyteller’, of what he wants to see, and the ways he employs to see it. None of what he does is even remotely rational, even when placed in the dubious service of crafting an ostensibly compelling narrative, but with the insight into why he does it comes the ability to preemptively determine the most likely outcome of any action he chooses to take. For instance, the moment Penny Prime returned to the core narrative, who was more likely to save Princess Baby Talk, her or ‘look at me, I’m a dragon’?”
“Seeing as Miss Asimov’s physical capabilities exceed those of Miss McCullough at her greatest power level by a not inconsiderable margin, it would be a logical assessment that the former would be more likely to succeed in a rescue attempt than the latter, extraneous factors non-withstanding.”
“You can bet your polyhedral ass she would, but not for the reason you think. She’d succeed because she has more narrative weight, more protagonist power, more Magisterial favor than even a ‘fan favorite’ like Mayra could ever dream of having in a million years. Even if that fire breathing bitch was the fucking goddess of all dragons, with infinity symbols for all her stats and the power to rewind time itself in a universe where that’s supposed to be impossible, the Brave Little Toaster would go even further beyond the impossible and save her girlfriend’s glittery ass before our hypothetical dragon goddess could even blink.”
“And yet, none of these insights seem to perturb you in the slightest.”
“Of course not! Like I said, I think it’s fucking hilarious! Queenie might like to think she’s the greatest thing to ever exist in this reality plenum, but even if everyone else agrees with her, the reality remains that she’s a complete joke! I mean, for someone who supposedly has such vast knowledge on the way this reality plenum really works, she still can’t see that she’s just another puppet! Just like every other entity in this fucking place, the only reason she succeeds at anything is because she’s allowed to! Kill the Grand Magistrate?! Nyahahahahaha!!! The stupid bitch’s dialogue in the Incident Chronicle doesn’t even get a fucking color code! If that doesn’t say your protagonist power is complete dog shit, nothing does! She’s fucking destined to fail! Yeah, she might have been able to bypass the tangental reality layer shunt I placed over Penrose, and appropriate the Grief Seeds for her own pathetic purposes, but I already strongly suspected that both of those things would happen, and neither of them really matter in the slightest. Although, her manipulation of the Grief Seeds ultimately blowing up in her ugly face is gonna be particularly enjoyable to watch.”
“I gather that your investigations into their inner workings has born proverbial fruit?”
“You better believe it has. Not only do I know how they really work, I know where they’re from, and neither of those insights bodes well for Queenie. Or our dear Magistrate, for that matter. But to bring things back to your initial point of confusion, even if her Royal Deludedness was able to harm me, if only slightly, that actually worked to my advantage. In fact, showing off the full extent of her disgusting power by attacking me so successfully was probably the worst thing she could’ve ever done! After all, it allowed me to study the energies of her precious Storyslayer, y’know, the one thing that makes her so disgustingly powerful in the first place? And in so studying I was able to understand exactly how it functioned, allowing me to construct a far superior version for myself! Nyahahahaha!!! With that in mind, I think it’s only right that I thank her for so kindly providing me with such an excellent gift.”
“And how might you plan to convey your gratitude?”
“Simply put, I’m going to make her wish she’d never been born. But before we get to that stage, I’m gonna lend Queenie a helping hand. Yeees, things are about to get a LOT more interesting… Aren’t they, Finn?”
While Norika had been slightly troubled by her lunch being delayed, she didn’t start getting actively worried until she heard the pair of noticeable thuds. Swallowing, and gripping her cane in a trembling hand, she climbed out of bed and made her slow and shaky way to the door. Cautiously opening it, she couldn’t keep from gasping at the sight that greeted her. Although she certainly never cared much for any of the household’s servants (who had made their dislike of her plainly known), she was still shocked to see the two maids crumpled on the floor, without any sign of a struggle. What had happened? Was she next? Despite dearly wanting to transform on the spot, she managed to refrain from potentially revealing her secret to anyone who might be waiting for just such a response. While the house was quiet except for the sound of her own labored breathing, she still didn’t want to take any chances. Instead, she lowered herself into a crouch and tentatively reached out to the closest maid in order to check for a pulse, while steeling herself for the possibility that there wouldn't be one…
W-With how much talking he does, I’m surprised Finn doesn’t have one of these quote sections yet. -Norika Tsukishima
As she sat on her bed, Norika listened to Finn’s little speech with growing annoyance. Multiple times, she’d wanted to stop him and explain just how wrong he was, to tell him that her parents cared for her simply for appearances sake, like a plant they didn’t want guests to see wilting, and that she had never once envied her brother, the kindest most supportive person she’d ever met, but she was unable to get the words out. When the boy detective finally finished, she was about to tell him those things, as well as assure him that she was far too sickly to hold any kind of steady job, but then he made his final remark, and she just froze. It was just a simple compliment, but it struck her with all the force of a sledgehammer. It might have very well been a total lie, but still, the words were impossible for such a frequently berated girl like her to ignore. Thus, instead of the lengthy rebuttal she’d been mentally preparing, all Norika could say was a soft, “T-Thank you.” Swallowing her bitterness and suspicion she forced herself to add, “A-And thank you for having so much faith in me.”
I only wish I could have the same kind of faith in myself…
Zoppy waited with the most eager of expectation as the young dwarf looked over her various wares, her heart beating so fast, she was in real danger of having it burst and kill her on the spot. Thankfully(?), the suspense ended just before that could happen, with the dwarf declaring that he would buy one of her lucky rocks. “Dankz lotz!” Zoppy told her customer with great glee as she held out her good hand to accept his payment. Unfortunately, said payment took the form of three, decidedly un-shiny coins. Her once jubilant expression quickly dissolved, her big ears drooping against the sides of her small head. “B-But…” she blubbered, looking as though she might burst into tears at any moment. “D-Deez ain’t…” However, before she could finish, the dwarf came down with a bad case of the “being murdered”, and so was unable to take any further inquiries or respond to any objections from the malformed little goblin girl. Returning her attention to the three coins once more, she mumbled, “M-Maybe if Zoppy cleanz dem…?”
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