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11 mos ago
Current Man, I remember those last few statuses sounding funnier when I was writing them... Is this what aging does to people?
1 like
6 yrs ago
I eat negativity and shit out hopes and dreams. Like a tree, but for pessimism.
5 likes
7 yrs ago
Good news, I'm not failing out of my cooking course tomorrow! Bad news, it's only because I nearly sliced a chunk off my finger practicing for it and needed stitches.
2 likes
8 yrs ago
Desu before dishonour.
1 like
8 yrs ago
It's days like today that I truly believe this ADHD is both a blessing AND a curse.
1 like

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N@j8cob@Tuujaimaa@Savato

"Oh, hey." Tsubaki said, nodding back to the... man? Their voice sounded pretty masculine, but he decided it might pay to let someone else take a guess first so he could avoid the embarrassment. "I'm Izuku Akiyama."

Of course, destiny couldn't let him off easily, and made it clear it had no intention of giving him a break by sending Shinrikyo straight towards the two of them, quickly informing them that, yes, she was in fact his squadmate.

He'd be lucky to make it to the New Continent at this rate.

"Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but all the experience I had in the war was losing loved ones and cooking for refugees. As for why I'm nervous, that's probably due to the fact that I'm the only genin on a squad of high level jonin, and one of the the members of that squad is the actual boogeyman of my country these days. But hey, that stuff isn't too big in the whole scheme of things, so I'm sure I'll calm down soon enough. No need to worry about me."

He shrugged lazily, his panic already beginning to disappear as he chewed the rolled up paper.

Finally, he looked up when the final member of their squad arrived, a blue haired man from Konoha.

"Izuku Akiyama, genin of Kumo." He said, giving a small wave to the man. "Don't look too relieved though, I'm a pretty damn good genin..."

Before he could say anything else, however, the man at the front began speaking, giving them the details of their mission. For his part, Tsubaki simply sat in silence. Deep down, he wasn't entirely sure how he'd even found himself in this position, rather than travelling with the support crew as a chef like in the Raijins original plan, but eh, he'd make it through. He wasn't the same crybaby genin loser he'd been in the empire. Now he was a cooler, more laid back genin loser, which was technically better.

He stood up and stretched as the blue haired guy, Soryu, spoke up at the end of the debriefing.

"Yeah, may as well. I've got all my bigger cooking equipment heading over to the main base, so hopefully I'll see that again. I've got the smaller stuff with me though, so I'm good to head off."




Tsubaki whistled in appreciation as the god-tree loomed into view.

"'s a pretty big tree..." He said simply, before listening to the pilot explain what they needed to do. Turning back to the others, he let a small grin grow on his face.

"Well, I guess I'll see you guys at the bottom."

And then he let himself fall out the door, eventually correcting his position and managing to land on his feet, channeling enough chakra into them that he didn't have to worry about just jamming his knees through his brain.

Once he was on the ground, he remained relatively silent, particularly through Doctor O's recap of the situation. The only exception was a quick 'Yep' when the doctor asked about the non disclosure agreements. However, he did find himself getting a little excited when he heard some strange new fauna had killed a scientist. Not the 'dead scientist' part, but the cool, new animal part. He hoped he would discover more details on the creature at some point, figure out how best to prepare it if they should manage to encounter and kill it.

However, he'd kept his mouth shut, just to make sure nothing too insensitive came out and he could focus. He didn't even talk when they found themselves in the genjutsu around the tree, instead merely raising a brow. It wasn't like speaking would help, not if the others were all trying the exact same thing.

However, it was the strange whistling that made him ready his staff, looking around curiously.

"And here I was worried the other teams would hog all the fun!" He said, a grin on his face. "Any requests for how I cook them once we're done?"
Just realised I had the guy at the start call Tsubaki by his real name, which would've been pretty bad, so I've edited it. So don't be retarded like me, and remember everyone else thinks his name is Izuku Akiyama.

EDIT: I'll fix up my post with the picture and everything tomorrow, but I'm falling asleep as I type at the moment, so yeah...
@Savato
Oh, cool! Thanks guys, I will!
Nishikawa Kaito hummed loudly as he walked down the street. In his hands, a large fishing rod and a tackle box filled with bait, lures, and everything else the aspiring fisherman could ask for. On his back, a backpack stuffed to the brim with every volume of the manga handed down by the gods themselves, Angel Densetsu, as well as a bento for his dinner. And on his face, a wide, moronically carefree grin.

He was going evening fishing, a hobby he'd only picked up a couple of months ago, but had taken him over faster than he'd thought physically possible. It was exciting when something was actually happening, he could read his manga when it wasn't, and it let him spend time with just his own thoughts and the sounds of the ocean! Not to mention the fish he caught were usually pretty delicious!

Yep, Kaito doubted that anything could bring his mood down today!

That was, of course, until a small gust of wind made him blink, and his eyes opened to reveal a grassy hill. A split second later, he realised he'd failed to adjust his footing for the new empty space in front of him, so instead of walking down the hill normally, he landed directly on his face and slid.

He remained face down in the grass for a few moments after reaching the bottom, before blearily lifting his head and looking around. Thankfully, his fishing rod and tackle box were still with him, although he wasn't looking forward to sorting through all the stuff inside when he opened it again.

However, that wasn't the main thing that caught his attention. Instead, his eyes were drawn to the dark haired girl just a few metres away, smoking a cigarette and looking pissed.

"Um… Hello…" Kaito said, nervous at the prospect of speaking to this total stranger. "I'm guessing from your expression that this is probably a dumb question, but do you have any idea what just happened?"
Welp, there's my post. Sorry it's kind of short… and crappy…


Tsubaki had barely stepped off the VTOL when the pen he'd been chewing burst, ink flooding his mouth.

He really hoped that wasn't an omen.

Looking around in frustration, he took a deep breath to calm himself down, realising immediately that this was a mistake as air more disgusting than the ink in his mouth entered his lungs, causing him to sputter and cough.

"Izuku Akiyama?" A voice asked, and he looked up to see a large man looking down at him.

"Yep, that's me." He said to the man. "What's up?"

"I'm here to bring you to your hotel room. Follow me, please."

"Ah, right, good." Tsubaki said, catching his breath. "Ok then, you carry these, and I'll carry the Wok."

And then he dropped two heavy bags of pots, pans, and other cooking equipment into the mans hands before lifting up a wok almost larger than himself and strapping it to his back. In response, the man looked surprised, and even slightly indignant.

"Hey, don't give me that look." Tsubaki said, lightly knocking the mans leg with his staff. "We've gotta get these out of the rain before they rust, and if that happens, they'll be useless, and if that happens, I won't be able to cook anything with them, and then its just a slippery slope to everyone losing morale and everything collapsing in on itself. Are you ready to be remembered as the guy who caused the expedition to the new world to fail?"

Startled, the man hesitantly shook his head, and Tsubaki nodded, smile back on his face.

"Alright, good, now lets run. It's probably already started to rust while I said all that."

And then he dashed off, the man carrying the bags quickly following.




The next day, Tsubaki entered the amphitheater in the absolute worst state to attend a meeting. He'd barely gotten any sleep the night before, a sinking feeling in his gut keeping him awake the entire time. The fact that he couldn't use anything to replace a cigarette while trying to sleep without the risk of choking only caused this feeling to grow, leaving him dreading the next day without any understanding of why.

Of course, the fact that he'd apparently been placed into a squad didn't really help. He'd been under the impression he was just being sent as the expedition chef, and that he probably wouldn't even have to reveal himself as a shinobi! But, it didn't look like complaining about it would do much at this point, so he just sighed and picked a seat. Once he was sitting, he brought a little cylinder of rolled up paper to his mouth, calming down almost immediately as the cigarette substitute found its place in his mouth.

Honestly, what was he even worried about? So what if the shinobi on the expedition found out he was one of them? Half the ninja in Kumo knew that already! And it's not like he'd probably know any members of the expedition anyway, so there was no reason to worry that his past would be exposed either!

So naturally, just as this thought passed through his head, he caught sight of a very familiar blonde head a few rows ahead of him, nearly choking on the paper in his surprise.

What the hell?! Was that really… No! No way it was her, that would be too much of a coincidence…

And then the head turned to talk to the masked man next to her, and sure enough, it was exactly the same as he remembered, down to that stupid, confident grin.

"Sen…" He sighed under his breath. "Of course it had to be Se-"

And then he cut himself off, making a point to look bored again.

After all, from what he remembered, she'd probably pick it up with those damned super senses of hers…

Turning away, he looked around the room for any other possible members of his squad, and totally not sighing again in frustration as he realised that, yes, he was going to have to do proper shinobi work. It was just a little thing, not worth worrying about. Worry about something bigger, like the fact that you've gotta try and represent Kumo in a good light, and try to get the shinobi from the Empire to actually like them again, and is that Nagi Shinriky-"

Another coughing fit exploded from his lungs, as he tried to hide the utter, pants-shitting terror he felt when he saw her enter the amphitheater.

He still had nightmares about that woman, more than a few of them from way back when he was still an imperial genin, and, you know, not a missing nin who ran away and ended up working for their designated worst enemy…

And now she was on the expedition, and he'd have to survive in a not-very-crowded environment with her, and ohgodwhatifshewasinhissquad?
Alex will make fun of his dumb sunglasses.
@lavulman Still planning to get around to that. You know, eventually...
Alright, done!
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