shylarah

Artanis

The girl froze when he grabbed her hand, eyes wide. Her smile returned, a bit wider this time, when he let her remove the skull mask. She examined his revealed face, gaze lingering on the piercings and the scars. The last time it had been night, and hard to make out details. As the man reached to touch her cheek, the child flinched before she could stop herself. She didn’t like being touched, even by people she knew. She quickly stilled, though it was evident she was bracing for something. Surprise showed in her eyes when whatever was expected didn’t come. Any fabric between herself and someone else dampened the effect of contact a bit, and his gloves were thick, but there was hardly any change in the little amount Amuné could pick up from the stranger. “You still feel so far away,” she said, sounding puzzled.

Before she could continue, he turned to look at something to the side, and a shadow fell across the pair. The newcomer’s words were just as unkind as those his son had flung at her earlier. Would the man in black do something to get him to go away too? She hoped so. The peasant’s anger, spurred into foolhardiness by fear and hate, washed over her like boiling water. There was something else too, faintly. Something deadly, but...expectant? Amuné looked at the strange man beside her, and suddenly she worried what he intended. But he didn’t seem to be doing anything. He was hard to understand.

Someone needed to respond, so the noble got to her feet, brushing off her skirt and facing the one who accused them. “He did no such thing,” she informed father and son. She might not be a very good noble, but she knew enough to use a bit of the commanding attitude. “My retainer came to my aid when I was set upon by your son and his friends without reason. He did not cause harm to any of them, though they certainly did to me.” The girl lifted her chin, her bruised and bloody lip very visible. “I don’t see a good reason to waste my time dealing with such petty brats on so lovely a day, so I am willing to let this go without serious consequence. I will put it down to us all being cranky after a week of foul weather. Provided he and the others do not trouble me again, the issue ends here. Do we have an agreement?”

Artanis

@TheMinorFall Thoughts is a little less solidified than emotions. I'm gong to have her pick up on some of it, at least. ^.^ Hi there~

The Twelve Labours: General Discussion

@PlatinumSkink Yeah, I had a similar struggle. If I'm writing something, if it's my creation, how do I lose? I realized I couldn't do so within a story, and had to focus instead on the writing itself. I thought this challenge was the perfect way to laugh about how I go about writing, and the issues well-made characters present, as well as the irritation of writer's block. I think the distinction is that you created the character specifically for the challenge, which in a way isn't even beating yourself.

I took a situation where I am routinely beaten by both words and characters, and expanded on it. And even then Term didn't like it much because I ventured pretty far into the layer of things between actual IC writing and reality, where all the meta stuff lies. That and my inclusion of various NaNo related things and how I've developed my mental image of the writing process. Perhaps I didn't need to reference the plot ninjas, but I enjoy the picture of scene changes and minor fixes being carried out by an elite team of stealthy editors. A character that doesn't settle within a created scene could be said to use the same sort of skills that make the plot ninjas effective at their jobs.

Where was I going with this again? @.@ Sorry, I'm all over the place today. Anyhow, I can see why the judges decided the way they did, even though in the strictly meta sense it was fairly solid. I agree that it was a bit /more/ choppy than necessary -- perhaps you could have neatened it up enough that you would have the idea of not being able to edit because you were so soundly beaten, but not so much that it detracts significantly from the story. The sudden perspective shifts I liked, actually, but they might use a little bit of tightening as well. However, the issue that you deliberately engineered your own fate, while I wouldn't call it insincere, very definitely counts in my mind as helping your own downfall. Perhaps you were unable to stop the chain of events once they started, but if you had the intention at the beginning, you could have changed things to make them go a different way in the process of character creation. I can't violate character integrity by having, say, a sworn pacifist go on a murderous rampage without serious cause for such a change in a story, but I could choose to make or use a character more prone to violence. That issue aside, I did find your entry amusing. Losing control over characters is all too familiar to me. What's more, I could hear the groan of my student self presented with a writing assignment that held little appeal -- one of the ones you did because you had to and not because you had something that needed to be written.

Wings Askew

@Disciple Cain The fuzzy light ball will save you from that. ^.^ I'm sure she'll get one too.

Artanis

Oh but he's wearing a glove, so I don't know that she'd pick up on his thoughts. ^.^ Gotta be skin contact, though she shies away from all touch as an extension. Hm, gotta think if I want to keep it that way or change it....

Artanis

@TheMinorFall Haa, I did notice that, and I figured it was deliberate. ^.^ Oh gosh, this is gonna be interesting. I'm assuming that The bit about what do do with the man is a thought, and not spoken. Hmm...~

Wings Askew

@tex @LostBrotherGrimm Do I dare ask what prompted that comment? O.o

Artanis

Mm, fair enough. I just don't want to have the same sequences both places. Interesting picture! I can't quite make out what the ushi/ox is, but I do recognize these from Naruto. ^.^

Gonna head to bed. If you post before I wake up, I'll work on a reply in the morning. ^.^

Artanis

“My name is Amuné,” she told him. Wordlessly she watched him stretch a hand out towards her ruined purchases, mouth forming an O of surprise when they ceased to be a lost cause. She didn’t begrudge him one of them; after all, it was thanks to him that she had another still. Since he was still sitting, she plopped down next to him. It wasn’t as if her clothing could be damaged any worse that it already was. “What’s yours? Oh, and don’t tell me you didn’t do anything. They wouldn’t have decided to run off like that if you hadn’t done /something/.” For a moment the girl’s grey eyes dimmed, but she brushed that aside.

His question confused her. Explain surprise? What was there to explain? But he had been very muted, even when she’d met him a couple years before. Maybe it was tied to his query. “Surprise is...hm.” Amuné started on the last of the peaches, chewing thoughtfully. “It’s when something happens you didn’t expect. Something you weren’t prepared for. That’s surprise.” She tilted her face towards him, her gaze focused on his mask. Even now he hadn’t removed it all the way, but it was lifted enough for her to see the piercings and patterns underneath.

All at once she reached for it. “You should take it off,” she said, aiming to do just that, though careful not to be rough about it. “I’ve seen your face before -- it doesn’t scare me. It’s just different. Fierce. ...I like it.” The last words were accompanied by another shy smile.

Adelon: Steeling the Faith [Open!]

At least he knows, right @Vena Sera? *giggle*