sukikyoufu

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

It was strange to know she was finally going home and with an easy way out too, even as she sat in the car her heart was racing because she was about to face the music with Ethan. Stopping him from any future plots of harming the King was what she needed to do, it was her duty after creating this whole mess and Cas would be able to continue on with his life. Even if there was heartbreak Cas would soon get over it, she was sure his friends would help and support him but more importantly he had a whole country in front of him to focus on. Jacob wouldn’t let the King fail; he would be there to support, and she was certain of that fact.

The silence in the car was horrible, there was no music to distract her, and he wasn’t a guard that liked to talk, and she wasn’t about to make conversation just to fill the silence. Fidgeting Iris felt uncomfortable and couldn’t settle, not with the pain in her chest and unsettled sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach. Without realising her hands had begun to fidget with the ends of her sleeves, fingers pulling at the frayed fabric because this wasn’t the first time this nervous habit had come out and when she felt the car slow its speed, she knew it meant they had to be getting near the border.

Snapping out of her trance she glanced at the guard who didn’t move his head or even look at her when he spoke about the checkpoint. Just nodding in response to letting him do all the talking she didn’t think she could even bring herself to speak knowing she would fumble or say something stupid. Jacob could do it all, it was his idea to sneak her past the border after all so she would just let him continue on with it and not interrupt. Who knew what kind of questions would be asked at the checkpoint? It’s not something she had ever gone or tried to go past.

Looking out of the window Iris tried to focus on the scenery around her, she didn’t want to think on the what ifs anymore because it would just make her feel worse than she already did. Who knew maybe Ethan would be okay? Perhaps all of this was going to be over, and he would be true to his word, she had to believe that otherwise this was all for nothing. At least Maisie would be there, her best friend would continue to be a pillar of support and pull her through this slump she knew she would.

Instead, Iris began to think on how she would get back to her home, if it was still standing. Having nothing on her but the clothes she had borrowed from Miles’s home she knew the trek back would be long. It would be easier without an injured person alongside, but it was still going to be tiring and she wondered if she should have just tried to eat a little more whilst in the Capital.

Pressure [Suki & Bee]

“A city planner? That sounds pretty interesting.” Arya smiled as he began to open up more about himself and what he was currently studying. “Oh, that’s great, means if I have forgotten something I’ll just grab it, that’s a relief at least.” Finding herself chuckle a little nervously because she knew she was rambling so much, but she was trying to at least make one friend in this new campus or someone that she could have a chat with every now and then.

“Well, that’s promising, I’ve heard horror stories of bad food served at Universities.” It was comforting to know the food seemed alright, especially as she knew how ¬¬¬¬¬fussy she was when it came to eating. “I was worried I’d have to live off of sandwiches for the rest of my life here.” Chuckling to herself as she glanced around the campus remembering where they had walked so it was easier for her in future and so she wouldn’t get lost. Even though she was trying to remember the route she knew it would take some getting used too as it was entirely new surroundings.

“Yeah, it’s nice. I guess I’d be one of those who would be in my own world. I tend to just keep to myself really.” Smiling as he held the door open for her as she walked inside noting the number of tables and empty hall, which was probably due to the time of day, most people were probably still settling in. “Thank you.” Saying her thanks for the gesture of opening the door Arya found herself distracted by the different various foods on display seeing if there was anything she’d like.

“Sorry! I got distracted!” Snapping out of it as she realised Joe had been talking to her, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Joe. I’m, Arya.” Finally introducing herself as she wandered towards the different selection of food on offer, debating on what to eat. It was quite exciting to see they catered various styles and it wasn’t all basic and it smelled great. “Well, this certainly looks exciting, I can’t imagine disliking the food here. You were right.” Grinning up at Joe as she gestured towards the food. “So, what will you be eating this evening? I’m liking the look of that mac n cheese, I guess it may be a little basic, but you can’t beat it that’s for sure.”

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

Iris nodded knowing that time probably was of the essence, who knew how Cas’ meeting was going with the warden as they spoke. For all she knew he could very well have gotten rid of her warrant already and lingering only meant the risk he would take her back to the palace. It was only by some miracle that Jacob was willing to take her back to the border, it would mean she had to somehow make her own way back through the districts and back to that rundown home that had sat empty for so long.

Taking the sunglasses silently she put them on thinking about how similar Jacob and Cas where when it came to things like this. Remembering how Cas had given her sunglasses as a disguise on the way in and now she was wearing the same things leaving. Keeping her head down she began to follow the guard out of the hotel room as a huge wave of anxiety hit her full force at leaving. This had been the first time she’d have left anywhere for so long; it had been weeks not being able to go out into the fresh air and now all of a sudden, she felt anxious to leave and it wasn’t because she was a criminal or anything.

Hesitating in the hall for a moment she found it hard, each time she had left a place had been fuelled with adrenaline but now this was different. This was just a casual walk to his car and drive to the border. They weren’t running from anything, and it took her just a few moments to gather herself before she started to move again thankful no one had come out and seen them look a bit odd. “Sorry.” Whispering an apology to Jacob, she didn’t bother explaining what had just happened because she doubted, he cared or even understood. Instead, she just walked on trying not to think about it.

Focusing on putting one foot in front of the other she tried not to think on it at all, right now she was making the best decision because Cas would be free of her and all the dramas she had come with. Their future could never work, not when she had caused all of this in the first place by allowing the rebellion to kidnap him. That was all her and no one would or should forgive her for that even if Cas had.

Taking her first steps out into the open didn’t feel as big of a deal as she originally thought it would have, but seeing his car made her stomach drop. It was finally about to happen; she had an easy pass back home without any sort of effort required. Wordlessly she got inside the car, there was no need to make small talk especially with a guard who probably hated her. In fact, he was probably over the moon she would finally be out the picture, perhaps this was even a trap. Luring her to his car to say he’d take her back to the districts and then just kill her and no one would know. No one would miss her except probably Maisie because Cas would certainly get over her.

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

Iris felt herself just stare at the words on the letter a little while longer before she finally looked back at Jacob who had seemingly made up his mind on what to do. “W-What?” Frowning slightly as she wasn’t entirely sure on how to process the offer, it was out of character, and she had expected him to just haul her back off to prison. Not that she was complaining because this was the best possible outcome, he could easily sneak her back in and she wouldn’t need to worry about that. “You would do that?” It was clear to see how stunned she was over the small gesture from the guard.

“You’re not just saying this for me to go quietly and then trick me and throw me in prison? This… this is a genuine offer to take me back home?” It was hard not to question it; Iris knew this guard was a man of his word as he was the reason, she had probably survived the first round in prison. Then there was the fact he had covered for the King at the time when it came to her escape from the hospital and now there was an easy way out of all of this.

Glancing back at the letter in her hands she placed it on the table before rising to her feet, she could feel her stomach churning at the idea of actually leaving Cas. Returning to the destroyed districts and Ethan who would hopefully stop threatening the monarchy and drop all the rebellion like agreed when he threatened her on the phone. “Cas… he can’t know though. That you did this.” Rubbing her arm, she doubted he would tell him, but at the same time she had to be sure as she needed to be the bad guy so he could move on.

“I have to be the bad guy in this story, else I fear he would do something as stupid as follow me into those districts to bring me back.” Sighing Iris knew it was for the best though, “At least if he doesn’t know he will think it was all me, that I just left and didn’t even consider trying to work it out with him. This way I get to be the bad guy and he gets to move on without any further issues.” She was certain that after a bit of time he would easily move on with life and do what was best for him.

This was it; she had her way out and she could get home without any issues. Iris knew she could stop Ethan now and Maisie would help her with it all, Jacob didn’t need to know anything about that side of it. This was her problem to deal with and this would be her sacrifice to make. Being the bad guy wouldn’t be so bad, she could handle knowing that Cas would hate her if it kept him safe from all the trouble in the districts.

Pressure [Suki & Bee]

“Oh wow! Fourth year? You must be a pro at all this then.” Arya smiled gesturing to the campus before them before looking back to Joe. “What are you studying? If you don’t mind me asking of course.” It was nice to have the opportunity to talk to someone that had been through what she was going through now with being all new to the campus. “Yeah… it’s been a little crazy, I’m only just settling in, but I think I have everything unpacked. No doubt I’ll have forgotten something, it’s always the way.” Chuckling to herself at the thought because she knew that it was more than likely.

“So, you’ve been here four years and you haven’t joined any club?” Arya found herself asking just casually, it seemed a little odd that you wouldn’t. Especially with extra circular being able to help towards final year grading, it was how she was planning to help keep her scholarship up. It helped towards her scholarship and showed participation which was always great when trying to impress the board.

“Oh sure, I’d love too. No need to treat me, but it would be handy to be shown around the food areas and what to choose.” Nodding to herself as she followed his direction to head towards the dining hall. “I’m sure there are food options I should try to avoid right? I doubt all food is amazing.” Grinning to herself as she began to walk in the direction, he had gestured towards for the food area. “Thanks, it’s nice to talk to another person here. Everyone seems so caught up in themselves you know. I think you’re the first person I’ve actually spoken too whilst here.”

Plots galore~ [CLOSED]

Bump~

The Arrangement [Suki & Kassarock]

Fingers crossed you find something you like! Ahh yeah I can bet night work being a little quiet. Do you get to like have something to keep yourself entertained with?

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

To not know what was going to happen was so unnerving, Iris found herself at a loss and even though she accepted this was probably the end of the road for her she didn’t know what he was going to do now. It threw her back when he told her to sit but she found herself complying because there was no other option. Iris could peg it from the room and try to escape, but he would catch her and then there would be a commotion and it just wouldn’t end well for anyone involved. Taking a seat, she found herself fiddling with her hands not knowing what to do with them as she avoided making eye contact with him because it felt awkward.

Even as he sat and started to speak, she knew he was telling the truth, but the difference with hearing it from him was that she knew it was not just because he cared about the monarchy but because he actually cared for Cas. Hearing the words from him hit differently. “Don’t apologise.” There was no need for him to say sorry to her when she knew he was right with everything he said. “You think I don’t know that?” Sighing heavily as she placed her head in her hands knowing that their relationship wouldn’t last, and it was silly to even think it would have. It was a stupid dream and even as Jacob spoke about it, she found herself saddened by the fact he was just confirming what she already knew to be true.

“I know I’ll never be good enough for him, that he would lose the trust and faith of so many people if they knew about me. Some non highborn girl from the districts, part of the rebellion. Daughter to the leader of Hope… I couldn’t do that to him, not when he made the decision to go back and take responsibility.” Iris could feel the tears in her eyes, but she didn’t want to cry in front of him, so she blinked them back before looking up to meet his gaze again.

“Truth is..." Hesitating for a moment before she continued on. "I had planned to disappear tonight before all this.” Hinting towards the fact he had visited as well as Cas as it had been completely unexpected for her else, she would have made an effort to clean it. “I was going to try and make an attempt at returning to the districts.” Whether or not it would be successful was a different matter, but Iris already knew she had to leave Cas. Between the threat to his life with Ethan with the threats that she believed he would act on and knowing just how the country would react to her being with him was enough to know in her heart it was the right decision.

“I’m not about to bring him down, not when I firmly believe he will make changes for the good of all the people and I know he will be better off without me.” Reaching to her pocket she pulled out the note she had addressed to Cas, looking at it in her hands. Everyone would be better off without me here.

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

Feeling the sweet release of his hand that had gripped her arm Iris rubbed where he had held tightly to soothe it from throbbing pain. It was then she found herself laughing bitterly when Jacob continued to interrogate her about the big plan and what was going to happen next. “You’re quick to make assumptions, but you don’t know what’s been going on with Cas at all. There was no elaborate plan to keep me here. The most elaborate part of the plan as you put it was when he broke me out of the hospital before I was sent back to prison.”

Iris understood why he was questioning her so heavily, she got it but at the same time it was a little too much and somewhat overwhelming. It brought back horrid memories of when she had been questioned in the prison multiple times to only be forced into giving away the answers from that truth serum. Shuddering at the thought of it she hoped that it would not be the same again, that he didn’t have an emergency one on him for dire situations. The thought of that drug alone made her feel sick to her core, colour all gone from her face as she reminded herself of the horror from the prison.

Dragging a hand down her face as she tried to compose herself, she looked back at Jacob meeting his gaze and she could see the sceptical expression he held. “You know the night he disappeared. We had planned to run away together if you want to call that elaborate, but then everything got complicated.”

Finding herself peek over her shoulder towards the window for a split-second Iris debated her chances of using the window as an escape. Problem was it was far too high up, but the thought of going back to the prison felt worse. “Sure, I claim to be in love with him. Nothing will convince you otherwise, right?” She felt tired of this, tired of trying to prove she meant no harm and at the end of it all it didn’t matter. Her fate was sealed, there was nothing she could do to save herself but oddly enough it had been something she had accepted. As long as Cas and Maisie were well and safe, she could be happy with that.

“Just… get it over and done with already. Lock me up and throw away the key, have me killed as I’m sure that I have a death warrant out for me.” Iris sounded defeated as she carelessly shrugged her shoulders no fire left inside to even bother with fighting him. “Have them interrogate me with that drug again. I don’t care anymore. I’m done.” What else could she do in this situation? Beg for her life? That wouldn’t happen, not when deep down she still had little care for it and even with the brief visit from Cas it hadn’t changed anything apart from her resolve to protect him from Ethan. As dark as it sounded Ethan couldn’t blackmail her if she was dead and maybe the security team would protect him? They had finally found her after all.

Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

Feeling constricted by the tightening grip on her arm it only worsened the panic she felt being caught red handed and she couldn’t help but continue to struggle against him. Fears of being thrown back into prison kept creeping in and she knew this was the end of the road for her, she just wasn’t sure on what part was now coming to an end. Acceptance to the end of her relationship with Cas was something she had come to terms with because she knew it was something that could never happen. That was something she knew would happen, but if she got herself thrown into prison now who would stop Ethan? Then it would the end to someone who she truly believed could make a change for the better.

“Do you really need me to spell that one out for you?” Hissing out her words as she still tried to free her arm from his grasp, “Let me go already! You’re hurting me. I can’t exactly go anywhere.” Once more she tried to snatch her arm back grimacing because he had a vice like grip. “There is no charade, no big plan. No secret. You know full well what happened the night I disappeared, you figured it out. You confronted Cas about it, and he told you everything what more do you want to know?”

It was like word vomit because of the panic and fear she felt inside, rambling on when she didn’t even know what to say to him. What use would it be to plead her case to him? There would be no sympathy, he wouldn’t care what she had been through and all of it was down to the Capital. The massive divide between people, the previous monarchs who had been a part of causing the rift and all the hatred for them to create a rebellion for equal rights. None of it mattered, she was just another member of the scourge to him that was probably trying to stick her claws into the King to live a life of luxury. That’s all anyone would see in her.

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve been in this hotel room because all the days roll into one. I don’t want to cause damage. I know I’m not good enough for him and that he would do so much better without me, but I’m still stuck here because the minute I leave is the minute I go back into a cell.” Shaking her head, she looked away from Jacob and glanced towards the kitchen still stacked with untouched meals. Between the fear of her life and now the upset of admitting just how wrong she was for Cas she did her best to hide the emotions from her face, trying not to let herself get so worked up again and fall into a pit of emotion whilst he was here.