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Kiai-katta
This is pending full approval, the other two techniques look great. Gonna find a way to balance the deflect bit.
Gonna review the rest of the CS tomorrow :)
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This is pending full approval, the other two techniques look great. Gonna find a way to balance the deflect bit.
Gonna review the rest of the CS tomorrow :)
Since we've already gone through the reviewing in PM and whatnot, Accepted. Throw him in the character tab.
First of all, welcome to Souls Adrift, it's nice to see you again Xan and despite some of the below I--and I'm sure the others--would be glad to have ya ^_^
Anywho, on to the review and all that jazz.
Alrighty. So, I'll admit I have not yet read history/personality (the bio section) since I wanted to see what the zanpakuto looked like first (since that is typically what I need to review more than anything else). I'll take a look at Xero's "Personal Info," once we figure this out. So, without further ado, the zanpakuto review. Bear with me.
So this is essentially fine and could result in some interesting effects. The problem comes in the area below. Aka, techniques.
So, I'm fine with the attack being able to hinder or somewhat disrupt someone's ability to access or control their reiryoku. However, what is not okay is the fact that it can essentially cause any attack/ability to "backfire," somehow. This is largely problematic for several reasons.
1.) Mechanically, that...doesn't always work. Some abilities manifest reiryoku and then allow the individual to control that. Causing something like that to "backfire," doesn't...really make any sense. So this wouldn't work on some abilities, for starters.
2.) It's...kind of over powered to be completely straightforwards and honest with you. Additionally, it doesn't really stay with the theme of your ability that you set in the primary description (that being the disruption/manipulation of reiryoku(ki) as if you were causing damage to it in a manner similar to damage caused by a physical weapon to someone's body.
So I'm going to say no to this technique. You can make something that weakens an ability or briefly disrupts their ability to use reiryoku-based abilities, but causing them to backfire or suddenly inconvenience them rather than help them is a no-go.
So...no. This doesn't fit with the theme of your ability and it is massively overpowered. It makes any use of any energy at all painful to some degree. I should remind you that reiryoku is a character's equivalent of stamina meaning, living and moving around would also use it up somewhat. That coupled with any zanpakuto ability that uses reiryoku (aka literally every single one of them) and any ability that uses reiryoku (kido for example...and also anything at all that could possibly require energy) makes this completely unreasonable.
I'm sorry if that comes off as harsh. I'm just being real with you since I think anyone deserves that, you know?
Now this is better, with the only part I have a problem with being the deflection. He's going to need considerable reiatsu and/or physical strength to be able to deflect attacks like that...and that's without considering the effects of any given reiryoku-based attacks. So you may keep his ability to cut reiryoku-based attacks with greater ease than others might, but he can't deflect them unless it makes sense (his reiatsu/physical strength stats would need to be around the same level as the other person's reiatsu stats or higher although I may change this after some deeper thought).
So yeah, those first two techniques are largely a no-go, and part of the third is a no. I would suggest you make a PM with @Ganryu, @Terminal, and myself to work on some edits and alternatives for the direction you could take the zanpakuto. Once we/you work that out, then I'll take a look at everything else and see if there's anything that needs alteration.
Anywho, on to the review and all that jazz.
【Rekuzan Xero - X-0】
Alrighty. So, I'll admit I have not yet read history/personality (the bio section) since I wanted to see what the zanpakuto looked like first (since that is typically what I need to review more than anything else). I'll take a look at Xero's "Personal Info," once we figure this out. So, without further ado, the zanpakuto review. Bear with me.
Ki-Manipulation. Légion has the ability to disrupt reiryuku like a physical sword can disrupt a physical body, making power leak like blood or Ki-skills malfunction like broken/injured limbs.
So this is essentially fine and could result in some interesting effects. The problem comes in the area below. Aka, techniques.
Iemo-pi: Xero will launch a spirit wave attack. If it hits a being with spiritual energy, their next use of spiritual energy will backfire. If it hits a spiritual being, the next reiryoku attack from their bodies or skill will either hurt them if it's intended to attack someone else or hamper them if it was supposed to support them by the same extent they expected it to work for them. If it hits a zanpakuto or other 'item' of spiritual energy, then the next reiryoku attack using or channelling through that item will backfire in the same way.
So, I'm fine with the attack being able to hinder or somewhat disrupt someone's ability to access or control their reiryoku. However, what is not okay is the fact that it can essentially cause any attack/ability to "backfire," somehow. This is largely problematic for several reasons.
1.) Mechanically, that...doesn't always work. Some abilities manifest reiryoku and then allow the individual to control that. Causing something like that to "backfire," doesn't...really make any sense. So this wouldn't work on some abilities, for starters.
2.) It's...kind of over powered to be completely straightforwards and honest with you. Additionally, it doesn't really stay with the theme of your ability that you set in the primary description (that being the disruption/manipulation of reiryoku(ki) as if you were causing damage to it in a manner similar to damage caused by a physical weapon to someone's body.
So I'm going to say no to this technique. You can make something that weakens an ability or briefly disrupts their ability to use reiryoku-based abilities, but causing them to backfire or suddenly inconvenience them rather than help them is a no-go.
Seishin Shifuto: Xero will stab the target in the heart in a passing lunge. The poke distorts what the mind feels as pain and what the 'heart' feels as fatigue. In the mind, the user will register lost reiryoku as if it were physical pain. The amount of pain they feel will depend on how empty (as a percentage of their total when full) they are of reiryoku. Additionally, the moment this skill is successfully used, the target will be 'caught up' by this phantom pain for the lost percentage of reiryoku in a single instant, similar to feeling all the strikes from an actual fight all at once. That moment can cause the target to flinch as well as raise hesitation as they use their spiritual energy, since each use of reiryoku from then on will make them feel pain. While this skill is in effect, it is possible for the target to pass out or faint from the phantom pain of energy loss without actually being hurt.
So...no. This doesn't fit with the theme of your ability and it is massively overpowered. It makes any use of any energy at all painful to some degree. I should remind you that reiryoku is a character's equivalent of stamina meaning, living and moving around would also use it up somewhat. That coupled with any zanpakuto ability that uses reiryoku (aka literally every single one of them) and any ability that uses reiryoku (kido for example...and also anything at all that could possibly require energy) makes this completely unreasonable.
I'm sorry if that comes off as harsh. I'm just being real with you since I think anyone deserves that, you know?
Kiai-katta: Xero makes a cut able to cut into reiryoku-based attacks as if they were tangible objects. Whether elements, waves or even vibrations, Xero can physically cut them or stop them with his zanpakuto. If he uses the back or flat of his blade, he can parry or deflect them rather than cut them.
Now this is better, with the only part I have a problem with being the deflection. He's going to need considerable reiatsu and/or physical strength to be able to deflect attacks like that...and that's without considering the effects of any given reiryoku-based attacks. So you may keep his ability to cut reiryoku-based attacks with greater ease than others might, but he can't deflect them unless it makes sense (his reiatsu/physical strength stats would need to be around the same level as the other person's reiatsu stats or higher although I may change this after some deeper thought).
So yeah, those first two techniques are largely a no-go, and part of the third is a no. I would suggest you make a PM with @Ganryu, @Terminal, and myself to work on some edits and alternatives for the direction you could take the zanpakuto. Once we/you work that out, then I'll take a look at everything else and see if there's anything that needs alteration.
Hollow NPCs
Working list.
Lol. I'll see if CB is needed, otherwise it ain't on me, I got an Evelyn post up already :P
【Mōke-mono, Hitori - Alias】
【[url=LINK]Theme I[/url]/|\[url=LINK]Theme II[/url]/|\[url=LINK]Theme III[/url]】
~"A quote from the character."~
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___________【Bleach: Souls Adrift】___________
!Dawn Approaches!
Midday, it was raining, the sun in large part obscured by the storm clouds as they passed over Karakura town and the abandoned mansion in its outskirts. The mansion, which the residents and their governing body, had named haunted and forsaken, in truth housed something far less sinister than evil spirits and yokai.
After all, while spirits did live within its walls, they were those that protected the delicate balance of souls, rather than those who preyed upon man. Four months ago the shinigami had purified it of the infestation that had built up within its walls and had decided to make it their base of operations given its size. While the building had not been maintained for years, Taikou—the Commander—had ordered that it be cleaned at least on the inside and that barriers be put up to shield the town from the various levels of reiatsu which would normally emanate from the building.
He had made sure they were secure, protected from hollows by kido to conceal their presence, but capable of deploying at any moment. It was a barracks of sorts and while it was not perfect, it was nonetheless an efficient system they had set in place.
Taikou was glad they had found the building. However, they had prepared long enough and he had finally come up with a plan. It was time to act, and so it was that hell butterflies were cast over the premise, contacting each shinigami present that it was time to gather in the entrance hall, which was the biggest area within the building aside from the gym, which they had re-purposed into a sparring field.
Already present when the lot of the arrived, Taikou smiled and greeted each one as they gathered, with the captains arranging further up the mirrored pair of stairs, while their lieutenants stood lower, followed by the various seated officers below them. Taikou stood on the balcony above them all, where they could easily see him and where their attention would naturally be drawn.
“Today begins our campaign, esteemed captains, lieutenants, and seated officers alike,” he began, voice carrying easily through the chambers fantastic acoustics, lending to him a greater sense of authority, while instilling pride and confidence in his men.
“Those who cast us down must be punished in turn, but we must get to them, and we must be stronger when we face them.”
He looked at each of them in turn before continuing.
“When next we step foot into the Seireitei, we will not be the same shinigami. We will be ready to fight, and when we do, we will win.”
He gave them a moment to absorb that, letting the weight of responsibility settle on their shoulders so that they would know and fully understand their duty. “However, today is not that day. First, we will ascertain the nature of their strength, and to do that we must get to them.”
At this, one of the seated officers stepped forwards and Taikou nodded to him, giving the man permission to speak.
“Sōtaichou-sama, we cannot use senkaimon, so how will we find out way into Soul Society? Are we not trapped here in the World of the Living?”
Taikou nodded his head for the shinigami to step back, giving him a calm assured smile. “Hiroto-san is right, we cannot rely on senkaimon anymore. So I propose that we instead use Garganta or Kumon.”
Hiroto gasped, as did several others. He read looks of shock and confusion on many of those present, but he was undaunted, and his smile remained—confidence unshaken. “We have been sent a message, men. We have been told that we are not strong enough and we have been made to look weak and incapable of change. To truly best our enemies, we must adapt. So first will we capture a hollow and we will force it to grant us passage to the Rukongai.”
Some of the shinigami had incredulous looks and while Taikou did not ignore them, he did not look at them either. “For this task we will split into three groups. This area has an infestation problem, and I intend us to deal with it before we depart. Ah, and to make sure none of you do not take this seriously, it will be a competition. Whomsoever captures the strongest hollow will lead, or be involved in the scouting expedition into the Rukongai.”
He looked to the captains present, and spoke first to Hiroshimoto, “Masumata-san, you will go with Tatasuko-san. Kenpachi, Kawagana, you two are together,” he smiled at them, before continuing, his expression growing more serious.
“Kanai, Xiang, you're with Kenpachi,” he indicated Arina and Sano, “Koshūsuru, Dai sanji, you're with Masumata.”
Finally he indicated Jinzo and two others, “Kurogama, Hōshakō, Serizawa you're coming with me.” He looked at them all, making sure they understood, and then he released a brief burst of reiatsu, opening the doors of the mansion. “We need two hollows and the rest must be purified. When you are done, return here. Now go!”
With that, he vanished...those he had indicated forced to follow behind him. It appeared that their first order of business was to be a hunt.
'Who would do best?' he wondered.
【Tatasuko, Sunōfurēku - 】
Take off Bakudo #80, Kagesa(Shadow chain). Ganryu said it was copyrighted, meaning you weren't supposed to use it xD
Once that's removed, it's accepted, move 'er to the char bin.
【Amatus Kokoro】
Accepted. You know where it goes.
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