Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by ChickenTeriyaki
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Granted! I suppose that you want to be humored moderately. Hmm.....

Eureka! Your life's soundtrack is now filled with songs composed by the world-renowned musician Weird Al Yankovic. You're welcome!

I wish that I could stop procrastinating.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by luna558
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luna558 The spam queen that's obsessed with TV shows.

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Granted, but you are the only one who can't hear it

I wish to be able to buy things on Amazon without having to pay shiping
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Skepic
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Granted. But it's shipped literally via the Amazon River with at least one animal from the Amazon Rain Forest, so now the post office hates your guts.

I wish the word "moist" was in the United States national anthem.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Witch Cat
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Granted, said culture is abolished by killing everyone doing it IRL.


>implying that's a bad thing

Granted, but now America is not taken seriously by any country nor its people and slowly crumbles in on itself

I wish for a skeleton to be put on the moon
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by luna558
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Granted but it's yours and now you are boneless (Which is how I like my pizza)

I wish cut pineapple didn't cost so much
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by FreeElk
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Granted but you can only get the outside cuts of the pineapple.

I wish I could sing really well.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by luna558
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Granted but you now are deaf and can't listen to music.

I wish my favorite artist would post more of her comic
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by CollectorOfMyst
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Granted. She posts it to the power plant to be used as fuel. It's useful, at least ^_^.

I wish for a wish that can wish to make a wish of its own. Or I wish for sleep. Either works for me.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by ModeGone
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ModeGone Legitimate Satanspawn

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Granted, you get a wishing well, a penny, and no guarantees.

I wish for a puppy.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by FreeElk
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Granted, unfortunately its a dead one.

I wish I could speak German so I knew what the couple nextdoor were arguing about all the time.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by luna558
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Granted. They arguing about ways to kill you.

I wish my name was Regina
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by CollectorOfMyst
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Granted. It was Regina. Now it's Mabel.

I wish I hadn't slept the whole day. My shoulders are hurting really bad now.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by luna558
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Granted. You died in your sleep, so technically you were not sleeping.

I wish I had the motivation to work out.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by FreeElk
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Granted but you're diagnosed with a heart condition - you now have a massive motivation and urge to go to the gym...but raising your blood pressure could kill you so all you do is go and watch other people in the gym...and eat pie.

I wish I could time travel.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by CollectorOfMyst
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Granted. You can time travel... but every time you do takes the time travelled off of your life.

I wish my dog would stop barking in the middle of the night... and no, he isn't allowed to die.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Foster
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Granted, your dog goes mute, and fails to wake you when the house is on fire. You are burned horribly.

Dog is fine, though.

I kinda wish someone else would fix this riding lawn mower.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by CollectorOfMyst
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Granted, your dog goes mute, and fails to wake you when the house is on fire. You are burned horribly.

Dog is fine, though.

I kinda wish someone else would fix this riding lawn mower.


You assume we don't have a fire alarm?

>We do, just not on my side of the house.

But, your wish is granted. The lawnmower is fixed, then promptly explodes.

I wish to meet a dolphin.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Blueflame
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<Snipped quote by Foster>

You assume we don't have a fire alarm?

>We do, just not on my side of the house.

But, your wish is granted. The lawnmower is fixed, then promptly explodes.

I wish to meet a dolphin.


Granted but it is a zombie and it kills you and now you are a zombie riding a zombie dolphin

I wish I wasnt a reaper

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by IntPenDespSword
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IntPenDespSword

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Granted. A spell makes you lose your class, and now you're just some boring, purpose- and featureless undead.

I wish things would make sense to everyone.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by FreeElk
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Granted, however you didn't specify which things - the things that make sense to everyone are your personal problems and you have no private thoughts anymore.

I wish I lived on a farm...with horses
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