Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
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I will not be available tomorrow.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Triesa
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Triesa Chaos in Bloom

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Is my CS alright for casual RP?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Sep
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Sep Migs Mayfield - Core

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@Triesa Sorry I didn't notice that, so standard protocol is to post the sheet in the OOC first, I actually didn;t pay attention and thought the CS posted there was by someone else. I'll review it tomorrow.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by DrTwit
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@SepWith IC section already 10 pages in, any suggestions on a good jumping in point?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Triesa
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@Triesa Sorry I didn't notice that, so standard protocol is to post the sheet in the OOC first, I actually didn;t pay attention and thought the CS posted there was by someone else. I'll review it tomorrow.


Ok, didn't know that. I admit I think my char's history is a bit weak, but I'm finding it hard to expand it.. writers block, fml.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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<Snipped quote by Sep>

Ok, didn't know that. I admit I think my char's history is a bit weak, but I'm finding it hard to expand it.. writers block, fml.


Funnily enough, your character's backstory is my primary issue, just kinda funny happenstance. So, on that note, allow me to explain my issues with your backstory; also, hi, I'm Zarkun, a member of the Council of Squares in the Discord Server and kind of a...mod? here in the RP.

First off, how and why is he Force Sensitive? In the current iteration, there's no explanation, but it's stated that Radda is a Force Sensitive Bounty Hunter. With that said, your current iteration is better fitting for an exceptionally skilled non-Sensitive assassin who's well known for getting high end contracts. More than that, how does he even know about it? The Empire legitimately buried evidence of the Force.

Second issue, how does a teen with supposedly no prior experience get a perfect throat slit? Especially since even with the stab wounds to the back, his father would be thrashing around to try and dislodge the lad. Simply put, it doesn't make any kind of sense, as cool as it sounds.

Third issue is the lack of how he became a cyborg. Just another thing that's just kinda...there. Now it's fine that he is, but an explanation of what happened to cause it would be good.

Fourth and...well, we'll settle for final issue, is how he became a swordsman. Again, just there, with no real reason why. Also, with how did he come into possession of a B-Wing fighter? The Rebels were the only ones to have them manufactured, literally.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by DrTwit
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also, hi, I'm Zarkun, a member of the Council of Squares in the Discord Server


That's one hell of a title :D
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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<Snipped quote by Zarkun>

That's one hell of a title :D


The council's name is partly my fault, I suggested Council of the Square Table, since Arthur had his knights of the round.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Triesa
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@Zarkun

It's by no coincidence that my backstory is your primary issue. I struggled to invent as I was writing it and knew it was bad, yet couldn't fix it.

Hi, I'm Triesa.

Everything you pointed out is truth. I find character history difficult to write.. it's like trapping fire in a bottle. What you read was my first attempt at writing an RP CS and yes it made no sense, not solely on the fact that I'm inexperienced at roleplaying, but because- I admit I really don't know much about the star wars universe even though I really like SW. I look around and everyone seems to know a great deal so I was a little daunted at the idea of possibly jumping into this with posts largely relying on slice of life masquerading as SW, without understanding the world to make it convincing.

I'm thinking Radda being purely a bounty hunter could work if I give him a good enough motive...

K, my CS is still a WIP assuming I can even fit into this roleplay.

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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@Zarkun

It's by no coincidence that my backstory is your primary issue. I struggled to invent as I was writing it and knew it was bad, yet couldn't fix it.

Hi, I'm Triesa.

Everything you pointed out is truth. I find character history difficult to write.. it's like trapping fire in a bottle. What you read was my first attempt at writing an RP CS and yes it made no sense, not solely on the fact that I'm inexperienced at roleplaying, but because- I admit I really don't know much about the star wars universe even though I really like SW. I look around and everyone seems to know a great deal so I was a little daunted at the idea of possibly jumping into this with posts largely relying on slice of life masquerading as SW, without understanding the world to make it convincing.

I'm thinking Radda being purely a bounty hunter could work if I give him a good enough motive...

K, my CS is still a WIP assuming I can even fit into this roleplay.


Well, I'm fine with him being a swordsman. Perhaps before his dad goes off the deep end he was teaching Radda. Motive for BH...that's easy, money. Whether it be fore selfish reasons or to provide for his mom and sister. Just no Mando Armor please. You can fit into it, just don't be afraid to ask for help.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Sep
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@DrTwit There's currently a fight involving Marrick a darkside user on Nar Shadda. There was also just a large scale attack on the Hutts by the radical terrorists called the Believers.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by DrTwit
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@SepThanks, I'll look through the pages for more context
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Triesa
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Updated my CS. Should I have still posted in here first? I was just editing my previous post so I thought I'd leave it in the CS thread.. up to you.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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Updated my CS. Should I have still posted in here first? I was just editing my previous post so I thought I'd leave it in the CS thread.. up to you.


First nitpick, Empire has only fallen a few months prior to the start of the RP.

Second; the tracking thing. It's kinda...vague. How does he track a target through a city scape, especially if say, this person has been on the run for awhile and has gotten good at blending in. Also there's the vision thing, I can't say it granting him foresight is OK...since you say it lets him see his opponent's moves before they make them.

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Triesa
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First nitpick, Empire has only fallen a few months prior to the start of the RP.
Edited, assuming I fixed the thing you were referring to.

Second; the tracking thing. It's kinda...vague. How does he track a target through a city scape, especially if say, this person has been on the run for awhile and has gotten good at blending in.
Are you talking about the point I made in the strength section? Can that not be something I make an example of IC?

Also there's the vision thing, I can't say it granting him foresight is OK...since you say it lets him see his opponent's moves before they make them.
That part I left over from my first draft that you saw, true, I shouldn't have left it in. He's not a force user anymore, so I changed it up.

Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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<Snipped quote by Zarkun> Edited, assuming I fixed the thing you were referring to.

<Snipped quote by Zarkun> Are you talking about the point I made in the strength section? Can that not be something I make an example of IC?

<Snipped quote by Zarkun>That part I left over from my first draft that you saw, true, I shouldn't have left it in. He's not a force user anymore, so I changed it up.


You mostly fixed it. Just add Rise of the Empire to what he read.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Triesa
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@Zarkun

Haha k, good call.
~

Ready for review.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Zarkun
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@Zarkun

Haha k, good call.
~

Ready for review.


I'd post it here and mention Sep so he can look it over.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Triesa
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@Sep Here you go.

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@Triesa Accepted.
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