6:30am – Siena cracked her phone like some dumdum. Callan has problems controlling her dumdum face.
10:30am – Welcome (back) to USARILN East.
After Arrival – Emma is good at triangles. Best Girl enters the fray and fills the Unit’s Punk Girl quota. (alone in the dark)
4:00pm – Sander slobbers all over a poor defenseless Christmas. Christmas is a shy gay. (my fire, my faith)
5:00pm – Brent is bad at office administration. Rosa encourages children to play with sharp things. (Acquisition)
?????? – Angelique gets a check up.

5:00am – Ernie bitches about people (no surprise there). Brent reveals his lapse of retardation. (Ernie and Brent: Working Things Out)
5:00am – Ernie is a South American crime lord. Zoe is a filthy pig. (Ernie and Zoe: Insinuations and Initiated Investigations)
11:00am – Callan continues her endless reign of destruction over Suite 430. Marcus gets sexy texts from his older sister’s friend. Weird. (Pep Talks and Toast)
12:00pm – Callan continues her endless reign of destruction over the USARILN East campus. Rosa gets a boo-boo. (Permission Slip Up)
12:30pm – Callan continues her endless reign of second-hand embarrassment over Ernie. Ernie does a decent Matrix impression. (Barely Aware)
1:00pm – Hazel is good at names. Siena doesn’t ruin her clothes this time. The mime wins.
1:30pm – Zoe gets a boo-boo and also there’s backstory stuff. (Solo Post: Built for This)
2:00pm – Marcus gets robbed. Emma was likely a low-key Satanist. Determination don’t play by no rules. (Emma and Marcus – Bubble and Trouble)
5:00pm – Callan judges a book by a cover Emma briefly described. What a butt. Brent is a weirdo stalker man. (How’s Your Fine?)
6:00pm – Callan has shit taste in everything. Emma is a filthy hipster.
7:00pm – Siena is good at Google. Zoe is bad at school. (Zoe & Siena: Nobody Needs to Know)
9:30pm – Kusari hallucinates biblical figures. Callan hallucinates Angelic figures. (Knock On Wood)

9:00am – Fantasy Costco, where all your dreams come true! GOT A DEAL FOR YOU! Ernie leaves a Shrek cosplay behind. Siena is a benevolent piano teacher. (Ernie and Siena: Shopping and Not-So-Much Truth Dropping)
3:00pm – Callan thinks Determination is cool, an opinion that’ll definitely last for the long-term. Emma is a coffee snob. Determination does sex jokes?? (Emma and Callan – Déjà Vu)
9:00pm – Brent cops a feel. Siena suffers, as usual. (Brent’s Spaghetti)

9:00am – Zoe explains how Marcus is gonna win. Not fighting what he hates, saving what he loves. Also Marcus is bad at running.
9:00am – Ernie continues his endless reign of noise pollution over the Aberration Dorms. Allison ain’t afraid to cut a bitch. (Ernie and Allison: Hallway Hassling)
10:00am – Kusari finds her muse. Brent vogues. Siena suffers, as usual. (Like One of Your French Girls)
2:00pm – Ernie wants to trick-or-treat like some dumb little BABY. Emma is bad at arts and crafts. (Emma and Ernie – A Pleasant Chat)
7:00pm – Brent has the flyest ride in the hood. Siena is bad at chopsticks. (“EAT THIS!” “NEVER!”)

2:00am – Marcus has a wet dream. Callan fakes a medical degree. Siena is clueless. Tater Tot lurks in the shadows.
10:00am – Emma gets no answers. Brent endorses the Church of Rosa Schur. (Catching the Dream)
6:00pm – Allison is a conspiracy nut. Zoe is a bad, bad friend. (Zoe & Allison: Giving Up the Ghost)

10:00am – Ernie makes a girl cry again. Come on, dude. Callan falls asleep on someone else’s bed like a fucking WEIRDO. (Ernie and Callan: Bad News)
11:00am – Marnie Domestic AU. Don’t like, don’t read. OR: That one time Marcus and Ernie did a shitty reinterpretation of that scene from that John Green book. (Ernie and Marcus: Clearing Things Up)
2:00pm – Sander corners Ernie in the bathroom and somehow it is not as gay as it sounds. Ernie gets his slamjam on. (Ernie and Sander: Toilet Troubles)
2:30pm - Christmas didn't stutter once in this one. Did y'all notice that? Sander is bad at Spot the Difference. (my hallowed hell, your hollow heart)
4:00pm - Sander recaps his garbage Spot the Difference skills. Christmas doesn't do much but he's definitely gay in this one. (my shooting star, gravity bound)
6:00pm – Chris reaches peak baby bitch. Brent prays to Bullet RNG-sus. (Saints and Dragons)
After – Brent shines bright like a diamond. Siena is bad at emojis. (Re:)
7:00pm – Sander bleh
7:00pm – Callan ensures heart problems via energy drink for the long term. Grant is an enabler and occasional shouty boi. (Wish Granted)
8:00pm – Chris is a whiny baby man. Zoe works at Hot Topic. (Zoe & Chris: Naked Anger)
8:30pm – Grant unveils his master technique. UNLIMITED PET WORKS. Callan raids the dog treats (probably not the first time, amirite). Siena gets a new roommate, whether she likes it or not. (Pure Therapy)
10:30pm – Callan becomes PETA’s nemesis. Zoe supports her illegal activity. (Empty Encouragement)

2:00am - Christmas reenacts an R. Kelly classic. Sander is bad at everything. Alvin's Yeezys aren't mentioned ONCE JAN, WHAT THE HELL. (my bitter taste, my hours wasted)
9:00am – Ernie vents at something that isn’t a time-frozen mannequin. Weird. Zoe is still a filthy pig. (Ernie and Zoe: Baking and Blaming)
9:00am – Callan bribes for friendship points. Determination makes a verbal boo-boo. Ernie shoots his goo all over the place. Emma is a double texter, which definitely won’t have its consequences in the long term. (Callan and Determination, Ernie and Callan, Callan and Emma: Callan Actually Cleans Something For Once)
1:00pm – THE SAV TALK AAAAAA. Ernie goes bungee jumping. Brent is a weeaboo. Siena gets ‘nam flashbacks. Marcus gets physically and emotionally beaten and it’s a thing.
6:30pm – Brent gets a roommate. Siena is bad at catching.
8:00pm – Callan almost sees the moon. Hazel grasps that shaft. (Will You Train With Me?)
12:00am – Sander can show you the world~~ Callan laments her single status. (Floating)

1:00am – Zoe is a conspiracy nut. Margot endorses underage bar hopping. (Zoe & Margot: Answers)
8:00am – Callan is a fucking weenie IDIOT. Determination falls on the wrong side of the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal. (Secrets Out)
After – Determination is TOO GOOD, MAN.
9:00am - Sander is good at money. Christmas poses for an inevitable future Jan commission.
11:00am – Ernie doesn’t study for Sander’s test. Sander is suspicious. Emma is fit for the interrogation room. (Ernie, Sander and Emma: Laundry and Leisurely Lying)
12:00pm – The title says it all. Ernie disrupts the Waffle House peace. Callan is a hecking weirdo but like more than usual.
3:00pm – Zoe continues to ruin the lives of Unit B. Zhang’s just here for a good time. (Zoe & Zhang: Making it Personal)