Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by ERode
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@HammermanOh yah, what Core concept thing would Ayesha infuse into the Construct?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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@HammermanOh yah, what Core concept thing would Ayesha infuse into the Construct?


Remember, this is only if Ayesha is the one to give life to a construct. If it was an inherited one, or some kind of found, deactivated one, it's based off of whoever originally infused it, not Ayesha.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Hammerman
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@ERode
You can decide what core concept your character was infused with, since the one who did it was the herbologist.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by ERode
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So I basically just went ham with it.


3x Like Like
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by The Irish Tree
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Adamas felt its consciousness slip away, crumbling like the soul of its infuser.

Time to sleep.

So it did.



A life burned like a torch. A light shone like the sun. An order ran, clear as a clarion.


How dare you do the one thing in any fantasy setting that makes me sad. I just wanna see this big boy happy now.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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So I basically just went ham with it.



There is no world in which I don't accept this, holy shit. I love everything about this construct. You and @Hammerman can both move over to the characters tab.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by ERode
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Happiness is but a fleeting dream, but what a beautiful one it is, so speaketh Adamas, the middle school poetry nerd with no friends.

And cool. How many pairs do you plan on having before launching the RP, Ammo?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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And cool. How many pairs do you plan on having before launching the RP, Ammo?


I don't have any set limit; I'll get this going even if it's only me and one other guy. I'm going to give some time for everyone who showed interest to get a chance to sign up first, though. Give it at least a few more days.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Lugubrious
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Here's my construct. I have an idea in mind for a human to pair him with, but if anyone happens to be particularly interested in having him as their partner, I'd be open to it.


Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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Here's my construct. I have an idea in mind for a human to pair him with, but if anyone happens to be particularly interested in having him as their partner, I'd be open to it.



why the fuck are all these sheets so good

I don't deserve y'all

I like the construct on its own, though obviously I'm still waiting to see what human it pairs up with first.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by BurningCold
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I'll hopefully get the chance to be joining this with a friend of mine. Working on our characters presently!
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Dark Light
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Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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I'm going to be honest here, this is the first sheet that's left me really conflicted. While I guess there's nothing immediately wrong with it, I find the general tone you're going with to be much more melodramatic than what I intended for these things to be. The idea of not wild > wild > not wild doesn't sit entirely right with me either, especially as this one has a bestial form and would, thus, be more susceptible to becoming a true animal. Yes, it's not impossible he regains his mind, but the circumstance around it doesn't convince me. The way it's written I'd just see him tear the boy to shreds, flee and continue doing as he had been.

The "abilities" section also seem like disjointed concepts stemming from a general "predator" idea which I'm not too keen on, as that just doubly reinforces, to me, that Draken'd be extremely primal after going rogue. It's also a lot more expansive compared to all else we've seen so far. I'm not all that sold on the concept; what human does this pair with?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Rabidporcupine
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Ok, I need to read the rest of the lore before I make a sheet, but I'm interested. Thankfully, it seems like you're sorely lacking in the area of 'not very good' apps, so I should be able to fill that gap for you!
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Dark Light
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@Ammokkx

The idea was that he never went ‘wild’ just wasn’t happy with the choices to bond with but people wouldn’t accept that.
This kid is his former partners grandson.
And I got tired of the back story so o saved it for the humans but through their conversation the construct realises his former partner did care about him because stories were passed on. He was never trying to be better like Draken thought but was trying to keep up.

I was actually initially basing the idea more off that chameleon thing from monsters inc before I found the predator images. I think the only thing they influenced was it’s vision.
Camouflage was always part of the reptilian soldier concept.

Also the human half was going to be a massive contrast.

But it’s ok, you don’t like my idea 🤷🏼‍♂️ you don’t like my idea,
All the best.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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So I was going to leave it at that, but I'm kind of a petty person and

But it’s ok, you don’t like my idea 🤷🏼‍♂️ you don’t like my idea,


didn't really sit well with me. So passive-aggressive for no reason. So now I'm going to explain exactly why I don't like the idea, even with this addendum.

@Ammokkx
The idea was that he never went ‘wild’ just wasn’t happy with the choices to bond with but people wouldn’t accept that.


Okay, but like, what is this sentence then

"What was supposed to be an easy meal turned into something so much more."

This deadass implies he sees humans as no more than a meal at that point. Combine that with the core concept of 'Pride' and I don't see how any even remotely sentimental conversation could ever bring him back to reason. The opinion of humans is set at an all-time low with just the inclusion of this; if you want to make his character nuanced, your writing needs to reflect that.

This kid is his former partners grandson.


Still nothing to go off of here. If you want me to buy the change of heart you need to sell it, especially as this sheet was presented as a finished product rather than a WIP (or you at least gave no indication of it being such). You can't leave out a key part of your character and expect me to just be okay with it; in fact, this only makes it harder to review as I'm gambling on what you're actually going with. You need to show the hand you're playing or else you're just cheating at poker.

And I got tired of the back story so o saved it for the humans but through their conversation the construct realises his former partner did care about him because stories were passed on. He was never trying to be better like Draken thought but was trying to keep up.


Not mentioned, no reason for me to care. Mention this ahead of time instead of leaving me in the dark and leaving me to guess; as it is I still only have the base sheet to judge off of, which isn't written remotely well enough to garner a hint like this from it.

I was actually initially basing the idea more off that chameleon thing from monsters inc before I found the predator images. I think the only thing they influenced was it’s vision.


Cool, but you didn't use that faceclaim. Appearance matters a lot, despite what you may think; Something as overly aggressive and threatening like this is going to give a certain first impression, one which you did not play down. If you want a good subversion, look at how OwO did it. Viscera is downright gory but the fleshy, ugly exterior is in deliberate and stark contrast to their 'average joe' personality. Your personality, however, does not contradict the appearance, and the backstory most certainly doesn't. Constructs that hate humanity don't tend to go back, and I'm sorry to say, but making him look super menacing instead of cuddly does reinforce the idea that he wouldn't stop hating them. Especially with a prideful core and as his primary purpose seems to be doing battle.

This, in turn, heavily contrasts every other signup so far, where the constructs very much looked for co-existence. While I'm not opposed to the idea of one with more apprehension about this, you have to remember, you're still signing up to an institute who's first and foremost goal is fighting against your own kind. He knows what it's like to be seen as a rogue and could, therefor, easily have been on the other end. The receiving end. But this also does not play a part in your character, so I'm left to question what the hell he'd be doing in Geiru.

Camouflage was always part of the reptilian soldier concept.

Also the human half was going to be a massive contrast.


Keyword: 'was'

I don't care what it was going to be. I care about what it is.

I don't just dislike your idea. I think you just have a poor grasp on what the setting was meant to be. You didn't really design it with the world in mind, as far as I can tell, as it pretty much flies against what I've been establishing and the lore I've set up. You just made "a predator chameleon thing with spikes n'd stuff" rather than "a rogue construct turned good guy". That's the flaw in your sheet, and that's why I don't like it.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by BurningCold
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BurningCold Magical Bastard

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@Ammokkx When do you think the deadline is going to be? Or are you just holding off the start until you nab enough capable players?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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@Ammokkx When do you think the deadline is going to be? Or are you just holding off the start until you nab enough capable players?


I'll start this when I think nobody's trying to sign up anymore/I've reached an upper limit on players I can handle. You have a few days longer, don't worry.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Rabidporcupine
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@Ammokkx
Does that mean I shouldn't try to join? Because this sounds cool but I'm fine with it if you think it's getting too full.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ammokkx
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@Ammokkx
Does that mean I shouldn't try to join? Because this sounds cool but I'm fine with it if you think it's getting too full.


Bold of you to assume I'm going to accept everyone who showed interest.

But nah, I've handled like 15 characters spread among 9 guys before. I can deal with a lot.
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