Hidden 4 yrs ago 4 yrs ago Post by Bork Lazer
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Bork Lazer Chomping Time

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Always Low Prices In the Apocalypse


Genre: Post-Apocalyptic, Satire, Science Fiction, Cyberpunk, Supernatural



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PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT


Check Out. Who hasn't heard of the fabled land, where we are no longer haunted by the drones of Sekyuritee, the mutated pests that roam the aisles, the tyrannical horror of the Smilers or other nightmares that haunt us daily in the Wal. Some say it is an illusion made up by the Employees to give us false hope, whilst others claim they have seen the pearly doors of Sliding, opening to reveal glimpses of the Unknown Lots. The line to Check Out is soiled with the blood of trippers, lifters and shoppers that have attempted to seek haven and escape the confines of the Mart.

Yet, every shopper eventually learns of the eternal truth about this quest, this unquenched desire, the dream which may come but never will.

The Wal is all.
Excerpt from Brochure of Wal-History, Chapter 10 - Written by Ken Dal, Head Archivist of the BOOKS Department


Think of an average Walmart. Picture it in your mind. Think of every shelf, every sample stand, every product, every waiting line you've been in.

Now, think of a Walmart the size of a city, where banks are Wal-Banks and restaurants serve Walmart branded products. Your apartments are shelving units and you drive a cart to work.

Go even bigger. Think of a Walmart the size of a nation. A Wal-nation. You pay your taxes to the Walmart. Your citizenship is instead a Walmart customer account. No matter what job you take, you are always an employee of Walmart. Your national anthem are Walmart advertising jingle. Your housing complex is located on the 2nd row of a shelf and your neighbor is located across the aisle.

Then, we've reached the logical conclusion. There is no mart anymore. Aisles the size of highways, shelves stories tall, rows upon rows of fridges to populate a city, food courts the size of beaches, signs that have replaced skies and forests of grocery sections. The world has become Wal-World.

The future is the Wal.

Walmageddon: Shopping Spree is an roleplay that is based upon /tg/'s homebrew setting Walmart Apocalypse, which was further derived from a now sadly defunct Wizards of the Coast forum thread spanning hundred of pages long. Taking the concept of a supermarket arcologies to its most logical conclusion and dialing it up beyond safety regulations, Walmageddon is set in a satirical mass-consumerist post-apocalyptic future where Walmart rose in prominence in both socio-economic and political power during the 21st century, spreading and outsourcing its facilities in every part of the globe. The corporation eventually became a sovereign power that was a virtual nation unto itself, with superstores around the globe that acted as miniature cities that could house millions of people inside its confines. After a catastrophic war between the few federal third-world governments that were left and Walmart, humanity was forever sealed within the giant stores that over generations, they would learn to call home.

Pockets of human civilization, known as Departments, live on within the aisles of these humongous supermarkets, whilst the shelves are continually refilled by the deadly Stocker bots who will kill with extreme prejudice if they catch those who try to 'shop-lift'. Those who survive must contend with the myriad of various dangers that inhabit the Wal such as malfunctioning automated artificial intelligences, hostile religious groups such as the Cult of the Smiling One, mutated animals, lobotomised Greeters and worse. Furthermore, rivaling factions and mysterious forces work to claim control of the Wal and ultimately, the future of humanity itself.

You are a Lifter, a catch all term for scavenger for hire in the Wal. You, along with a crew of several other Lifters, have been tasked with delivering a mysterious high value product from the Bargain Bin to an unknown department far away on the other side of the Wal. The risks are high but the payout is even higher. What seemed like a simple package delivery has taken a turn for the worst....


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Customer ID


Disclaimer: You don't have to strictly follow this format. You are allowed to make your own additions or your own alterations if you want to do so.





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I am currently looking for 5-6 people to join with me on this magical shopping trip to Walmart. This is currently a heavy WIP, so, I'm just tossing it out into the ocean to see how the fishes respond. I'm planning for this to be an RP with lots of silly but serious worldbuilding and shit loads of fun. Please ask any questions if you are confused, curious or both.
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Hidden 4 yrs ago 4 yrs ago Post by Admiral Moskau
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Admiral Moskau An Admiral of the Binary Seas

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You have my paper cutter sword.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Duthguy
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Duthguy Someone who can't spell Dutchguy

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@The Bork Lazer Never seen a Wallmart before in my life, but interested
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Bork Lazer
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>://THE INTEREST CHECK HAS BEEN RESTOCKED WITH CHARACTER SHEETS. PLEASE MOVE ON, HAPPY CUSTOMER.
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Hidden 4 yrs ago 4 yrs ago Post by Admiral Moskau
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Admiral Moskau An Admiral of the Binary Seas

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My shopping cart is ready.

Writing a penja* due to my love of pens.

*A ninja for all you pre-Walmart-fueled-apocolypse peeps (read the wiki, it's amusing/amazing).
Hidden 4 yrs ago 4 yrs ago Post by Potemking
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Walmageddon? This is the last thing I expected to find when I joined this forum.

It's time for the Dorfs to rise! My Fort will sing of my glory!
Hidden 4 yrs ago 4 yrs ago Post by Potemking
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@The Bork Lazer

Hope this is decent. It is time to spill blöth! For Glory!

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Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Bork Lazer
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Bork Lazer Chomping Time

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@AmpharosBoy



Fucking amazing. Nothing, really wrong with your character, aside from asking yourself what you can do to make your Dorf even more of a wonky Hero that he already is.

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Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Potemking
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@The Bork Lazer

Blöthmerch stands in as the "go-to edgy combatant" mixed with horrid Dwarf Fortress-tier tendencies and short bursts of cuteness that break his character when encountered with what he likes. Being an extremely serious and dedicated LARPer will also probably lead to some odd reactions, especially when his character is broken by either cute things or new experiences he had never seen before affecting him enough to ditch his character momentarily.

Of course, this is The Wal. His craziness is just one of the many flavors in our vast storefront.
Hidden 4 yrs ago 4 yrs ago Post by Admiral Moskau
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Admiral Moskau An Admiral of the Binary Seas

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That amazing sheet inspired me to post my own WIP:

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Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Potemking
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@Moskau Spieluhr

Aw, thank you.

Your CS looks great so far! Another combatant to cause blöthshed.

Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Bork Lazer
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Currently working on the OOC, but at a fairly slow pace, given the fact that there have been only two people to have shown interest so far. Still waiting on a few more!
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Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Admiral Moskau
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All roads lead to the Wal, so no rush.

I've still got some tinkering to do with my CS.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Potemking
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Currently working on the OOC, but at a fairly slow pace, given the fact that there have been only two people to have shown interest so far. Still waiting on a few more!


Take your time, there's no rush.

Also I believe there's three interested folk here; Duthguy just hasn't presented a CS yet.
Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by Paradoxial
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Paradoxial Leroy Jenkins reborn

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Interested!
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