"I have bad news for you girl, a true man never dies, even when he is killed."

That said, Barthelus jumped through the portal, triggering an explosion as he went through the other side that sent him flying a few meters and fall on his face

"Yes sir--I mean ma'am- I mean person! I mean scary! I mean gun!" Ivan scrambled away, the bullet barely grazing his toe.

Ivan jumped up, eyes focused on the portal. Okay, so he said he wasn't doing the whole Mega Awesome High speed Cartwheel Double Flip Epic Entrance of Doom. But that orange portal...It looked so tempting! So delicious to do that trick. He bounced from foot to foot. Yeah! He could do this! The last attempt was just due to bad footing. Now, though, he was confident. He could do this!he could do this! He!could! DO! THIS! Faster than a snail on steroids, Ivan sprinted towards the portal and dove inside.

"I CAN DO THIS! Wait...OH SH-"

CRASH

Welcome to Texas: land of the good ol' cowboys, as many like to put it. Unfortunately, much of these cowboys have died ever since the heroes, Kamina, Simon, and Yoko Littner, and turned them into dust with the mighty mecha known as the Gurren Lagaan. The utter power this mecha contained, along with the pilots' wills to kill, unleashed some "crazy stuff" all over a town in Texas. But not everything is from these heroes' world...

---

A portal opened up in front of an Aerofit Fitness center, sending Noob and Edmodo into Texas first. Everyone who went through the portal had some sort of radio planted on their ears, though they were easily detachable. Noob picked himself from the asphalt-ridden ground. Things were already looking bad.

Nearby the portal were several Counter Strike Counter-Terrorists shooting down civilians, some of them quick-scoping like a boss. And one of them had already spotted both Noob and Edmodo.

"We got company!"

"i got dis sh-t stfu and watch magic fly by sky lolol"

"Get out of there, it's gonna blow!!!"

"Get out of there, it's gonna blow!!!"

"Get out of there, it's gonna blow!!!"

"Shut the hell up! FIRE!"

Noob's eyes widened, but his tension was released as soon as Edmodo put a hand on his shoulder.

"Do not panic, my handsome friend."

"Just do something, you noob."

Edmodo chuckled...

...

...before creating a transparent, bullet-proof wall. This wall would also cover his incoming allies. The Chevrolet Movie Theater began to walk toward his enemies very slowly, opening many opportunities for his allies to eventually attack them.

---

Urgent Mission!

-Defeat the (30) Counter-Terrorists!

---

After somehow having resisted the blast of bullets from the guns of the counter terrorist, Barthelus looked around for anything he could pick or use that would be useful, but sadly the only vehicle that didn't seem to be destroyed was a ford taurus from 2002, shame, it could only carry five people including him. He rolled over to the car and after breaking the window and opening the door, causing the alarm to sound, he opened a compartment and touching some cable stuff he managed to star the taurus, although the alarm kept ringing.

"Get in here, losers, we are going cop hunting. Also, check the trunk while you are at it"

However, only three of them would be able to get in if they wanted to have some space inside.

Stephanie drew her pistol, and quickly glanced towards Barthelus. "Sorry," she said, "I don't trust you with my life, and that thing is a deathtrap." Stephanie then sprinted to cover a little closer to the counter-terrorists. 'This is just like VGHS!' she thought, the adrenaline flowing through her, as she peeked out of cover to do an enemy-check. there was an easy kill right there. She fired three bullets at him. Two hit. The C-T falls to the ground dead. Stephanie hasn't even flinched after having shot and killed a living creature.

Now, she had the squad's attention, and a few of them started firing on her position. She waited behind her cover until the firing subsided and they stopped to reload. She had to be quick and precise about this. She had to think back to her teachings...

"I've taught you everything I can! Now get out of my home, you crazy bitch!"

Okay...maybe she shouldn't think back to her teachings.

She rose from cover, aimed her pistol so that her sights were perfectly lined up with her target, allowing for gravity and distance. Took a breath, steadied herself, and pulled the trigger. She watched. She smiled. Her mark had hit with a satisfying squishy thud, and the second man fell to the ground.

"BOOM! HEADSHOT!" She yelled out with glee.

The Counter-Terrorists were not pleased.

"Fuckin hax!"

Noob, seeing that riding a Ford was a totally Noobish thing to do, hesded toward the Barthelus. He concluded that Edmodo was only going to be useful for those who did not want to ride the old Ford model. Without any hesitation present in his face (though, he was quite confused with technology in general), the black ninja acknowledge Barthelus' advice and went over to the trunk. He opened it.

A Counter-Terrorist huddled inside with a gun looked up at Noob. Noob looked back at the Counter-Terrorist with a blank expression.

"..."

"..."

Needless to say, he beat the living days out of the unfortunate soul before entering the trunk, bursting out of the passenger seats after shutting the trunk door closed.

27 Counter-Terrorists Remain!

Friza just scoffs at Edmodo's silly wall. "Screw your wall, I've got a STUPIDLY ORNATE KATANA(TM)!" Friza dashes for one of the counter-terrorists, zigzagging and bunnyhopping all the while. "I hope to GOD this works like it does for Gray Fox...". As the man fired at Friza, he more or less sprayed-and-prayed. Whatever bullets DID come his way, Friza swung his sword blindly at them. Eventually, he does end up hitting a few bullets away!

"ZOMG U DUM N00B BUNYHOPPER!!!!" Screamed the counter terrorist in a high-pitched squeal. Friza took the perfect opportunity to cut him in half while the silly little man was reloading his rifle. "HAXEEEER!!!!!" <FRIZA (knifed) ULTRAMEGANUBSTOMPER>

"Holy shit...that actually WORKED! I am one BAD ASS MOFO!" Unfortunately, this victory was short lived. The man's friend had started firing at Friza, one of the rounds nearly hitting him in the shoulder. "WOAH! That ain't very nice!"

"Stand still you freak! Agh!" Friza grew increasingly irritated as the person shooting at him started teleporting around at random, sometimes T-Stancing. "Get your wifi fixed, mate!"

"LOL WUTEVER NUB"

Thankfully, he was only a few meters away. After teleporting to the little lagger, Friza sliced at him mindlessly, hoping to land a hit. "SIT. STILL!!!"

"TROLOLOLO-" His fail-troll efforts were cut short by a lucky swing by Friza to his foot. Normally that wouldn't kill a man, but the counter terrorist operated on FPS logic. Any blade strike, no matter where it hits, is fatal! The counter terrorist flopped to the ground, his ragdoll spazzing out through the floor. Faint screaming and cursing can be heard off in the distance... <FRIZA (pinpricked) XXPIMPDADDYTROLLXX>

Friza yelled out triumphantly, "WHATCHYA GOT AGAINST ME, UBER!? SUCK IIIIIIT!"

Ivan slammed kidney first into a CT at an alarming speed. The speed was so great that it somehow managed to knock the gun toting enemy out! Oh, the power of the Entrance of Doom.

The Asian groaned and jumped up. "I'm so sorry!" he quickly apologized to the fallen CT. "PLEASE don't sue me!"

He hurried away, rushing towards the first thing he saw:

The Ford.

"Got room?"

Edmodo frowned, disappointed with the fact that no one was using his wall.

So, without further ado, he decided to throw the wall away before running toward some Counter-Terrorists, still half-naked.

"Whoa, WHOA, WHOA!!! WHAT THE F-CK?! SHOOT HIM DOWN!"

"Oh, God. Is that a loincloth, a towel, or a freaking piece of paper he's wearing?"

"No, can do. I'm afraid you are ruining the beauty of Porkchop Texas."

With that said, Edmodo suddenly took out a Bluray DVD of "Final Destination," opening it and inserting the disc into his mouth. The two Counter-Terrorists in front of him froze in terror.

Suddenly, a train with Theodore Roosevelt's face came out of nowhere, crashing into the Counter-Terrorists before disappearing out of the roleplay.

Noob simply watched the catastrophe occur and stop ever-so-quickly. As expected, Edmodo was being extremely retarded and ignoring logic again. Without further ado, Noob simply grunted in the car seat (directed at Edmodo):

"You f-cking nooblord."

---

22 Counter Terrorists Remain!
12 More To Go Before The Mini Boss Appears!

Ivan said Got room?

"Of course, get in...."

Barthelus turned to look at the saibot sitting in the backseat, and although the ninja wasn'tt saying anything and his expressions were concealed by his mask, the driver knew what he was thinking.

"Get in... You noob"

Although he would have prefered to drive with the hot girl instead, Noob, Ivan and him were enough people to carry on. Barthelus heated the motor and started to run as fast as the ford couls through the town

"Okay, here is what I though: the only reason why we haven't been wipeout yet is because they are not launching an all out attack because about half of them are hidden somewhere camping. So we have to force them out, by 'planting a bomb in their base'"

A CT appeared on the way, because vehicles didn't appear in their game, he didn't know how to respond

"OMGWTFBBQ! WHO LET THE GARRY'S MOD SUCKERS IN? LOLOLOLOLOL"

His lolling and poor insulting attempt ceased when he was ran over, Barthelus continued

"Sadly, there is only one bomb I have."

He swallowed

"This car, I'll have to blow it out. In that moment you will have to take care of any counter terorists that appear."

Another two cops were ran over by the ford, flying several meters and feets up in the air before getting their necks broken

The Counter-Terrorists started to follow and shoot at the car. This took the heat off her, but it also meant that the idiots in the car were onto something. Stephanie took a dirty shot at one of them, right in the back. She turned to the only other guy there, Edmodo.

"If we don't hurry and catch up, all the good heroes will be dead before we get there! You! Wierd guy! Do something. Use your stupid fourth wall breaking powers to get us a car or something."

She reloads, still keep an eye on the retreating enemy to see if anyone's trying anything sneaky. There was a sniper, his rifle giving off a telltale glint.

"Down!" she cried, as she dove back into cover, and took a few potshots at the sniper.

Click.

She put a new clip in her pistol, and looked around to seer if any of the dropped weapons were more long range, or if she could even get to them without getting shot.

....No.

(Amalvi requested me to temporarily control his/her/its/wtf character)

---

"JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN!!!" Barthelus proclaimed, screaming down the road to the Counter-Terrorists' base-of-operations.

"OH F-CK! SOMEONE'S DELIVERING THE PIZZA BOMB!!"

"omgwtfbbq da fk wus garding bom sit?"

"Your mom."

"stfu noob"

Suddenly, Noob, the Saibot, gunned down one of the Counter-Terrorists arguing with each other using a plasma pistol. He then tossed the pistol at the corpse, causing it to explode and leave no evidence.

"Noob."

Barthelus screamed his way down, blowing up the base of operations... which was located in a house.

"Oh, damn. Did they just...?"

The Counter-Terrorists technically failed one of their missions. What was going to happen?

...

All of their weapons transformed into C. USPs.

"I FREAKING KNEW IT!!!"

"O-Oh, sh-t! I think I'm taking a sh-t!"

"GO TAKE ONE THEN, YOU NUMBSKULL!"

"Dammit! I just bought this sniper!"

Unfortunately for the CT that desired a restroom break, Edmodo suddenly ejected the "Final Destination" disc, complying to Stephanie's request and inserting "Fast & Furious" instead.

It was inevitable.

Suddenly, an armored Lamborghini landed on the two Counter-Terrorists, who literally had no time to respond. Edmodo chuckled, happy with the fact that the car contained a Magnum Sniper Rifle and a Desert Eagle. Unfortunately, he wanted an actual eagle from a desert, so he snapped his fingers and let the pistol blow up. Much to his chagrin, another Desert Eagle spawned right where it blew up, which was next to the driver's seat.

"Fascinating."

With that said, Edmodo proceeded to load and eject "Final Destination" over and over again on random buildings. Barthelus, Noob, and Ivan were simply sitting at the base of operations, which was on fire.

---

18 Counter-Terrorists Remain!
8 More To Go Before The Mini-Boss Appears!

Friza had just taken cover behind a wall, thinking of his next move. Stephanie popped a shot right into the back of one of the CTs, Noob shot another with an EXPLODING PLASMA PISTOL, and Edmodo was being dumb as always. What the hell could he do? Friza looked over, and saw a CT about to (try to) kill Edmodo. He immediately leaped into action! "HEY! STUPID GUY! BEHIND YOU!" Friza grabbed his eternally-hot-soup bottle, teleported closer to the CT, and lobbed it at him. It burst open, shattering glass and the delicious brothy goodness all over the counter terrorist. It apparently acted as incendiary damage to the CT, because he started grunting like most FPS characters do when they're being hurt. "AAAAGH! I HATE INCENDIARY ROUNDS!!!!!!!!" The CT whirled around and fired at Friza, thankfully the incendiary damage made his aim bounce, so most of the shots missed terribly. Down goes another CT, this one's body stretching horrifically and flying into the air and out of sight. "Behold the power of SOOOOOUP!!!!!" Friza held up his hand, and the fragments of the bottle and the soup it held reformed seamlessly in his hand, his stance making him look like a certain skirt-wearing elf.

Ivan took a long look at the fire around them. "Well," he said as he took a phone out of his pocket, "what a hot mess!"

He grinned at his unfunny pun and pressed a button on his phone. Like something out of Transformers, the phone began turning into a sleek, silver handgun. Ivan ran off, looking for the nearest CT. It was time he tested his new invention.

He spotted one firing at random directions. "U SUK U HAXRS OMG I M MASTER CHEF U CANT KILL ME!" the CT screamed.

Ivan somehow managed to dodge bullets and stopped a foot behind the CT. "Hey," he called. The CT momentarily stopped firing and turned around. Ivan smirked and raised the gun to the enemy's head. "Wrong game." He pulled the trigger and...

...nothing happened.

"The heck? Okay, uh...wait, how do I work this thing...is it even on?" he yelped, examining the gun closely. Ivan looked up at the CT, then down at the gun, then back at the CT. "...Yeah, screw this." He slammed the gun down the CT's head continuously until they were nothing but a censored, bloody pulp.

"Ewww, nasty"

Barthelus wasn't much of a fan of gore and horror movies, and certainly the crude display of Ivan wasn't quite a pleasant view to witness, but nevertheless, what gets the work done is fine. The worker walked to the mass of guts and gave Ivan a thumbs up with a look that said "not bad" before picking the USP from the dead body for himself

"Wow. It's a gun. It shoots bullets. I think..."

Yes, he had no idea on how to wield those things, although he had watched one or two movies with guns he had never held one in his hands before. He made some james bond poses with it and said aloud the iconic phrase

"Which girl wants some of this secret agent body first?" (Yeah, he had never watched a bond movie)

Just in that moment a lonely CT passed just a few meters away directed to a camping position. Alerted by his sudden appearance, Barthelus almost dropped his weapon and then he held it with sideways with one arm, miraculously hitting the CT but also hitting his own face with the recoil. Although he was not hurt because of his resistance, it was quite a good punch and his ears were beeping because of the loud noise

"AWWWW SHEEEIT"

Barthelus threw away the gun, he would stick to vehicles from now on