Hidden 2 mos ago Post by Gardevoiran
Avatar of Gardevoiran

Gardevoiran ༼ つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ༽つ

Member Seen 4 days ago

[Suggesting to @Spiffy]

Bonekid listened intently to the fight going on, trying desperately to watch the fight despite his short stature. When Chaka Ram finally exited the maze with Joanne, Bonekid got fired up again. This arena was MADE for him to work in, so he grabbed his sword and stood.

"I'm ready! Let me back in there! I'll give this masked gunner a run for his money!" Bonekid shouted before he took a few steps, tripping and falling over onto the ground immediately after. He was dizzy. When he wasn't carrying the sword, he could manage just fine, but now that he's carrying it everything was so much harder to do.

He looked over at Cedric after letting out a hearty sigh. "Captain Boone? Do you wanna show them what-for? I would, but I'm still in recovery from my fight."
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 2 mos ago Post by Spiffy
Avatar of Spiffy

Spiffy Prince of Peace

Member Seen 12 hrs ago

Captain Cedric D. Boone - Cannon Castle VIII

The match with Trickshot Joe had ended in her defeat. It was close for some time but ended with her being pile driven into the ground and shot repeatedly. She would need to recover from that. Then Bonekid explained his excitement to join the next match, but asked if Boone wanted to jump in. Cedric grinned widely and replied, "I can't let you all have the fun now without me can I?"

Cedric came off the bleachers, his blunderbuss resting on his right shoulder. He strolled toward the referees and announced, "Captain Cedric D. Boone here! I'll have the next bout!" This opponent seemed like a good challenge. That's exactly what Boone wanted. Let the best marksman win...
Hidden 2 mos ago Post by yoshua171
Avatar of yoshua171

yoshua171 The Loremaster

Member Seen 14 hrs ago

Lilliana Merrycure

Returned to her crew after the fight, Lilli sat near Bonesword and leaned heavily into her chair, thoroughly exhausted. Still, she watched the next bout intently, largely administering to her own wounds as best as she was able. A shot from one of her syringes helped perk her up a bit, but she knew that she wasn't really in any condition for a second bout.

Frowning at the vitriol the badger spat throughout, Lilli was entirely unsurprised when Joane lost. Still, it had been fairly impressive, she wished that perhaps she could see the honey badger in a more fair fight in the future. Perhaps then her bravado would be worth something.

Glancing away from the proceedings between matches, she looked to Bonesword as he got up. She tried, and failed, to grab his boney hand. Fortunately, her son knew his limits well and returned, asking Boone to fight instead.

Grateful at their captain's response she smiled, letting out a relieved sigh. “Come back over here you boney boy and keep me company,” she said, beckoning Bonesword back, a tired smile on her lips. Even B-M.O seemed sluggish, the metallic organism barely apparent as little metal stubs at her shoulder blades and a faint silver tint to her skin.

If she hadn't known her body so well she'd have thought she felt like death.

Hidden 2 mos ago Post by Old Amsterdam
Avatar of Old Amsterdam

Old Amsterdam The Drunken Creator

Member Seen 1 hr ago

Caesar followed slowly, staring at the hole where the angry man had gone.

He should've tried. Maybe then all this wouldn't be happening.

Outside.... It was a maze? Of plants? How did that make a -

Oh. A hunting fight. Two hunters, one winner. He wouldn't have been useful here, didn't know how to aim a gun accurately. Cannons were easier.

Maybe there was a hand cannon out there?


He was a little shocked at how the fight developed, though. He had believed in the little Jo's confidence, and she was as good as dead. Would've been, if it wasn't for the odd ammo they used.

Bonekid got excited and immediately regretted it, opting a small chuckle from the Mink, as he nodded in agreement at the call for Boone.

He was, really, the best shooter on the crew. If anyone would win from their crew, it would be him.

His eyes traveled to the cannon man. Alien magic. Could he have beat him, if he hadn't failed against Launcher?
Hidden 2 mos ago Post by ProPro
Avatar of ProPro

ProPro Pierce the Heavens with your spoon!

Member Seen 0-12 hrs ago


The man grunted and groaned as Dirk tried to take the tiger print coat. "Uuugh... Don't even... Think about... It." He gripped the coat with surprising strength for someone clearly in danger of bleeding to death and battered from head to toe. There was no doubt he held strong conviction... At least toward his coat.

Smith suddenly appeared in the room as though he had always been present. "What seems to be the hubbub?" he asked rather nonchalantly, before noticing the man injured on the ground. "Oooooh. Eeeeh. Ouch."

That's when the man's eyes suddenly shot open, completely red with bloodshot veins, pupils dilated as far as they could expand. "So they missed a couple of ya," he grunted, slowly rising up into a sitting position. Each movement was made with great effort and through gritted teeth as he fought back against the pain. "Hey. How'd ya like ta... Help take out Bullet Bill?"

The injured man tore off a piece of his button-up shirt using his teeth, then wrapped it tight around his shredded leg, knotting it with considerable skill. The bleeding seemed to stop. "Help me get command of my men back, and we'll let you go without any more of these stupid ridiculous challenges. Whaddya say?"

The man paid no attention to Smith, asking Dirk directly. Well, he hadn't yet seen Smith, despite the man standing right next to Dirk. Ninjas, man.
Hidden 2 mos ago Post by Leaves
Avatar of Leaves

Leaves The Friendly Bulbasaur

Member Seen 3 days ago

"Spectating & Waiting

Interacting with:

Feya nodded to Kite’s words. Most likely they were supposed to help ease her mind, but they did not reach her. The fitness woman really set her eyes and mind on her match. Watching her comrades get beaten (and seeing some of them lose) was getting to her. Though she was a competitive woman, she took their losses as her own. “Being everyone’s physical therapist was not achieving success.” This is the thought she was carrying.

“Thanks,” Feya muttered to Kite. She stood up to her feet and began slapping her hands together. “Let’s go, Lily,” she whispered.

Feya crossed her arms and watched the game intently. She was not sure if Liliana’s cocky approach was an intelligent one. Pike stated several times that he underestimated Kite’s potential. Even though the man won, he knew that taking his own game lightly proved unwise. As Lily and Pike exchanged comments, the opponent did mention he won’t make the same mistake twice.

Feya dug her nails in her arm. It remained a tough call on how this match would turn out. Pike wasted a portion of his energy and has not rested. Lily, on the other hand, has seen what is to be expected. There is also the factor that Pike is inputting all of his energy. She watched for the first few minutes. The change of behavior and the littered cigar showed that Pike was not going to play along.

Luckily, Lily showed enough tenacity that she wanted to avenge Kite. She quickly showed her strength. Pike did mention Kite’s name and his loss which made Feya groan. The tactic of getting inside of your opponent’s head is an effective one, but he wasted his breath. Lily is too smart for that.

Feya clapped her hands after the first shot. She meant to encourage Lily to keep up her head. The first point did not matter. All she needed to do was to ensure the last goal against Pike. She predicted that if Lily can give Pike more of a fight, he might tire out thus giving Lily the W.

Feya did become surprised when Pike revealed that he knew who Lily was. She blinked a few times. ”Wait a minute. Lily has a devil fruit?” She questioned her crew members.

The fight continued on. Lily managed to tie up the game. It was becoming into a close game with both parties scoring the second point. The match started to have an overwhelming aura. The football game was tied up and Pike showed aggression on his face. He did not like the fact that this was difficult. He uttered that he wanted to showcase his ultimate attack.

So much wind in his final move. The ball’s velocity increased and shot through the field. Feya could not understand how, but Liliana managed to play off of it. The ball shot right back into the opponent’s goal thus giving Lily the win. Feya could only smile in response. This match showed a lot of energy and resolve. Not only that, but Feya witnessed the power of her future opponent. Pike had a falling out with Bill which led to him revealing his fruit power. ”A cannon fruit power? They have a fruit for everything,” she murmured.

Without much waiting time, everyone was rushed outside for the next match. Feya cracked her neck, a bit thankful that the matches were continuing right after the other. She imagined if the matches were to take places hours from each other. They probably would have never left the island until a few days from now. Shielding her eyes, she looked at the various clouds floating overhead.

”Nice day,” she commented. The fitness woman realized it was the perfect weather to begin a quick exercise. She laid down on her stomach and picked herself up with her forearms. ”Might as well plank for the entirety of this match.” Keeping her body up high from the ground, she watched the challenger reveal the next game.

Paintball makes sense given Chakra’s appearance. His gear did resemble something that would become appropriate for this game. Krunchy sent their sailor talkin’ female into the game. Well, it was more that she volunteered on her own. Given the circumstances, she might be the most fit for this game. Accuracy is essential for paintball.

During their standoff, Jo’ did her best to get under the guy’s skin. Feya could not tell if the guy took the bait. With his armour, he seemed unphased by her comments. The fitness woman took this as a bad sign. Opponents that are calm usually know how to handle stressful situations and are the more difficult to trip up.

The match throughout became interesting to watch. A game without the use of physical contact looked compelling and strategic. The entire play stood as a metaphor, the predator vs the hunter. A man with a talent in firearms against the heightened senses of a beast. Feya’s arms trembled a bit, but she kept her composure. Of course, at some point, Chakra utilized a different technique that remained legal yet he did not go over fully at the introduction of the game.

Smoke was a cheap tactic and certainly did put him in the advantage. At the climax of the battle, the scene stood as unfair and bad sportsmanship. Jo’ took many shots to her head. The physical therapist understood that they were mere paintballs, but at point-blank range and multiple bullets, they could at least leave a bruise or swelling.

Feya winced at the pain the badger woman must have felt. She stood up to her feet and finished her planking. Her ears picked up the conversation of others on who would be next to best the paintball master. Feya’s eyes opened wide when she noticed her captain choose to volunteer. ”I totally forgot that you had a talent in gunmanship. This will probably come easy to you.” She told Cedric.

Feya began eyeing around. It seemed that everyone already took their shot in a match. Her time was coming and she knew it.

1x Like Like
Hidden 1 mo ago Post by BCTheEntity
Avatar of BCTheEntity

BCTheEntity Taco Tuesday is the true path.

Member Online

Dirk Messir - Oh GOody GOodies

Oh chute. Tigerian was still that. The not in dead. He is indeed a storkn boy.

You should stab him Douchebag! To be sure he's dead Psycho!

Nuh, he had there was a think, where I am get the coat, then wasn't really, so I should say hi to him and see what here is wants. Divine Purpose agrees, yes.

'Oh. Hello,' Dirk said, with then theis tilting heads. He is indeed here, and I wasn't sure how to then there this. And he didn't like Gatling Gull, he meant Bullet Ball, Ballet Ball yes perfect yes, and so now they did wanted here's to teaming up? Oh. That was fun.

Why would you think that's a good idea? He'll just betray you afterwards, right?

I think it'll go great, Dirk! This is going to be an amazing thing!

Why aren't you stabbing him Fool!

Well, he didn't have any remainedereder leg injured, when from his leg hurt, so now it was that there which had the ability to fight the best to fight fighting Captain Blockner Butt has to get staphed. But then there is the things that will still happening then.

'Okay. But you also have to go.' I tilt in the other way. 'You can only do good pirate sea with proper pirate sea,' explained the talker. 'Seaing. Going to the sea. What you get doing instead is being. Losers? Bad. There that the bad stuff. So you should leave later when we leave. And games suck anyway.'

You suck, and you're an utter moron if you think he'll hold up on his end of the deal.

'GsshhADAHDerrick.' That will am said to the left no wait right right right of mmmTigerpants, but then he wasn't real the real there, so Dirk blanked and slapped my own face a few times to be looking the right pathway to the right person for his response again.
Hidden 1 mo ago Post by Spiffy
Avatar of Spiffy

Spiffy Prince of Peace

Member Seen 12 hrs ago

Hedge Maze Hunt pt.2

Hidden 1 mo ago 1 mo ago Post by Gardevoiran
Avatar of Gardevoiran

Gardevoiran ༼ つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ༽つ

Member Seen 4 days ago

Finish it off, Fitness Feya!
[Clothing @Spiffy and hyping up @Leaves]

Bonekid was watching the match on and off, getting the major details while also tending to making sure his mom was comfortable. She took quite the beating, and he just wanted her to feel a lot more at ease and comfortable on the bleachers. Lilli wasn't doing too great, and the kid wanted her to be better. That being said, Bonekid's vigor was reignited as Boone finished the match, with the skeleton practically shooting out of his seat in excitement. That was his captain, alright! The best sharpshooter on the crew!

He snapped his finger as a handful of vines shot out of the ground, them fully blooming into a leafy coat before the coat was carried to Boone by a different vine. "There you are, Cap'n. You don't look right without your jacket." Bonekid didn't have much more to say to Boone at the moment, because he was already thinking about the next fight. While he was sure he could go in and win against the next opponent, he was busy tending to Lilli.

"It's almost time for you to shine, Feya! You better show that cannonball what peak performance is when it's time!" Bonekid pumped his fist in the air before giving Feya a big thumbs-up. He knew she wasn't going to let anyone down. If anyone could wrestle the big boss here into submission, it'd be her. Until then, there's just one more fight to go before the climax.
Hidden 1 mo ago 27 days ago Post by ProPro
Avatar of ProPro

ProPro Pierce the Heavens with your spoon!

Member Seen 0-12 hrs ago

Launcher carefully grabbed Chaka's unconscious form and, after clearing the foam from her mouth, placed her mask back on. Never before had all the men become so instantly disinterested and disappointed, but this was the situation they found themselves in. The dodgeball queen walked Chaka through the rest of the crew to take their seats back. One perverted crew member attempted to get in closer and swipe the mask back off from Chaka, but was sent flying across the horizon for his troubles. Mag Launcher wouldn't let any of the fools take advantage while Chaka was out cold.

Meanwhile, whispers swept over the Buccaneers in tides. Whispers of how apart from the captain, only one of the officers was left. If the Red Rums or the Krunches listened in, they'd pick up on all the doubts this enemy crew had begun to have in their team. Only two left, while the opposition had so many remaining? It seemed like a hopeless battle now! Ah, but the morale began to improve when someone brought up how most of those who had won were injured and exhausted to the point that continuing would be a guaranteed win for the Buccaneers. Besides, they still have Bullet Bill, and nobody could possibly beat him, right? Yeah!

Speak of the devil, Bill stood up to address everyone. "I think I speak fer er'ebody when I say this's bin a fantastic display a'skill n'sportsmanship. Yer up on us, but I'm confidant we'll pull together in the final quarter, as they say. Tzar, yer up. Make it a goodin' one."

The final of the Buccaneer lieutenants previously introduced stood up, a tattered white marine's chef uniform adorning his torso. A falcon stood firm upon his shoulder, regal and proud. This man, Tzar, stood just as proud and regal as his avian companion as he descended the bleachers. His long braid swayed back and forth with each footstep, keeping time like a metronome. Once at the forefront, he spun round on his heel and, in a deep Russian accent, addressed everyone.

"Thank you, captain. I am Howie Tzar, and I shall be your final obstacle, for nobody can defeat me in my chosen contest. There is nothing more proud than the-OOOOW STOP IT! WHAT THE HELL, FRANKIE?! LET GO!" In the middle of his speech, the falcon on his shoulder, Frankie, had mistaken Tzar's long ear for a grub, and had latched on with its razor sharp beak. The man flailed and stumbled about like a loon, desperately trying to pull his companion off.

After a few good moments of tugging on Frankie, the bird finally let go once it saw a real grub in the hedge maze, and took off after it. Tzar opted to breathe a few seconds, and bandage his now bleeding head. "Yes, well, as I was saying, none can best me in the eating contest! Rules are simple: My assistant cooks will be constantly wheeling out raw ingredients and foodstuffs. I and my competitor will have to design food on the spot, and immediately feed it to our competitor, so we are constantly designing food for the opponent. If either of us takes a break lasting longer than ten seconds, that person loses. If someone passes out, that someone loses. If we run out of food, the one who ate the least loses. If you throw up, you lose. I plan to out eat every single one of you. Now then, who shall be my first victim?"

Immediately all of the Krunch pirates turned to look at their captain. Runch straightened back his hat, stood up, and casually strolled down the bleachers. "Since my fellow captain already got to show off, it's only fair that I take my turn, right? Besides, an eating contest... Well, that just tickles my mustache pink. And with me, I guarantee nobody will be running out of food anytime soon." To demonstrate, he casually dropped a few pellets of cereal to the ground in front of Tzar. "Shall we begin?"

"I can't make that sort of deal. You see, I'm no filthy pirate." The man took a moment to light up a cigar retrieved from his jacket, took a few puffs, then blew out a fancy smoke cloud in the form of a seagull. "The name is Captain Lance Pike, and this is my marine base. Everything and everyone around you here are all marine owned."

He took a moment to take another few puffs of his cigar, probably to dull the pain of his shredded leg. "Everything was dandy, being stationed here right at the entrance to the Grand Line. Right out of the gate about 25% of pirates would have to come here to my base, so it's been a great job taking out rookies before they can cause too much trouble. Everything was dandy up until about a month ago when we got a new shipment of weapons, which included a... Special experimental weapon. That blasted cannon."

Pike slammed his fist into the floor, cracking the rock. His knuckles barely looked bruised. "It introduced itself as 'Bullet' Bill, the 'captain.' It's a god forsaken weapon, and nothing more. A cannon, serial number AR-34, but with special properties. I don't understand how exactly, but the higher ups were able to 'feed' the cannon a devil fruit. The hito hito no mi. As a result, it came to life with a human form, and a will of its own. It was supposed to be my best weapon, heavy artillery that can aim itself, reload itself, prioritize targets and follow orders... But that last bit it took issue with. It decided that the marines don't treat it 'fair.' Like a god damn hunk of iron has any fucking rights. It led a mutiny, took my crew stationed here, and turned them into pirates for fun. So no, I will not follow you out to sea for pirating once you help me. I will stay at my goddamn station, as I was ordered to, and continue to intercept and arrest pirate scum that enters the Grand Line. But I'll let you and your crew go without any more trouble. Won't even report to the higher ups that you were ever here."

Pike had finished his cigar, putting it out by rubbing it against the bit of rock floor he had punched. He then looked back up to Dirk with a terrifying, positively menacing grin, and held out his hand. "Deal?"
1x Like Like
Hidden 28 days ago 28 days ago Post by BCTheEntity
Avatar of BCTheEntity

BCTheEntity Taco Tuesday is the true path.

Member Online

Dirk Messir - Mariined, But With Os Instead

Dirk is not a total idiot. He does in fact hev enough aworkness to infer how things went. Marines are an important noteable thing to note there, and Dirk needed to note the thing there with the thing there, and I'm crosschecking my facts in order to determine the truth of the thought matter.

And the conclusion is, but who was snail?

Welp, we're screwed. Nicely done, jackass.

Okay, Derek, that doesn't help. He thought, luckily Divine Purpose made him not do any earlier thinking out loud, but in his brainhead. Problems will happen, then; whoever is cappen, pirates are going to have destroyed, and macaroons are going to go to the place soon. But wait, if the real true guy doesnet real ice the marianas, and if he does net got them afterwords after confirmed his words... hmm... MMHMHMHMHMHM. Hmm. It still sucked for new people, if they went that way. However, they did a revolt one time. They can't do a revolt here, but they did dab doodly do a strongvenge later. Will do. Maybe I even saves the frens for real!

'Oke,' Dirk agreed, holding out his hands for the doubleshake, and possibly makes Smart also shake Captain Lancepike if he wished, 'that sounds fun. How many times do we have need to get where he kicks gets his butt punched? By which he obviously meant, we should go fight before King Bullat King Killseveryoneelse. I like to have my fffffriends.'
1x Like Like
Hidden 27 days ago Post by Old Amsterdam
Avatar of Old Amsterdam

Old Amsterdam The Drunken Creator

Member Seen 1 hr ago

Caesar watched on in anticipation as the captain entered the maze. It was, ultimately, a tough match that made Caesar antsy.

But the captain proved himself to be resourceful, in the end, and while he barely won he did manage to defeat Chaka. Who, as it would turn out, was a woman.

Which was rather a shock to everyone present, apparently. Launcher moved forward to help her comrade, and with all said and done that left only two more matches.

The canon. And... The chef?

Caesar perked up in confusion, wondering how on earth this could be a real match of combat. Eating? It just seemed... So asinine, really. What were these people? Crazy?

Was everyone in the Grand Line crazy?
Hidden 27 days ago 26 days ago Post by ProPro
Avatar of ProPro

ProPro Pierce the Heavens with your spoon!

Member Seen 0-12 hrs ago

”Cereal Killer” K. Runch Vs. "Crimson Blade" Howie Tzar: Who is the Iron Stomached Chef!

Howie Tzar nodded, a wide grin slicing across his face like a jagged edge, entertained by his first challenger. ”Hyufoofoofoof! I should be honored to have a fellow chef as my first opponent, I believe. I hear your cereal is as tasty as it is nutritious!”

Runch stood before the man now, one hand resting on the hilt of his spoonsaber. The two met eye to eye, nearly the exact same height. ”The honor is mine, omnomnomnom! But yes, I am your first, and last, opponent!”

Tzar licked his lips. ”Cheeky. We’ll see how long you last with the worst dishes I can possibly prepare!” Dramatically Tzar unfurled his arms, causing his tattered white marine coat to spread apart every which direction, billowing in the wind. This revealed his well sculpted, maintained physique, two long blades attached to his arms, and most peculiar of all, two small white feathered wings on his back, practically vestigial and completely useless.

This action also revealed that his assistant cooks had setup two long tables for each of them to work on, alongside a very large pile of various foods between the tables for ease of access. A fully fledged cooking station sat in the middle of the two tables, with large barrels of water at the ends, fully stocked cutlery, and all manner of other assorted tools.

”Omnomnom! I should warn you, if you plan to make me lose my lunch or gross me out, you won’t get very far! Nothing you could cook will harm my stomach.” The pirate captain pat his belly with gusto. Those looking on could easily see his behavior as boastful, but to those who knew the captain it was something much more. They knew he was actually behaving far more humble than he had any right to.

Tzar squinted with one eye. ”We shall see about tha-OWOWOWOW GET OFF OF ME DAMMIT FRANKIE LET GO OF MY EAR AAAAAAGH!”

As the enemy chef dealt with his crazy bird, the two referees took their positions. A number of assistant cooks stood off to the side, ready to cart in more and more food and spices as it became necessary.

“Aaaaaaand…. Start cooking!” The whistle blew, signalling both to start up. Runch began by grabbing an armful of various fruits, dumping them down onto a cutting board. Tzar whistled and pointed a command, and in response his pet bird swooped in to grab him a large ham.

Runch had been startled by the falcon swooping in nearby, but otherwise kept calm enough to peel the skins from some oranges with great speed and precision. He wondered what the opponent planned to do with that ham? He didn’t have to wait long to find out.

Tzar dashed some pepper and some honey glaze over the ham, then more pepper and more pepper and more pepper then a touch of chilli powder to top it off. The fumes coming from the hunk of meat were already causing the chef’s nose to drip! ”Now witness my style! Ballet Cooking, Red Hot Allegro!” Suddenly the two blades attached to Tzar’s arms heated up to red hot intensity. The very air around them wobbled in a haze! The man dipped down, then back up, swinging his leg around, then swiped furiously with his arm blades, slicing the ham into dozens of pieces, each one searing into a perfectly cooked masterpiece as the blade made contact.

”And Sauté!” The man jumped forward, right leg extended up high, left leg bent as far back as it could go. In this motion, he kicked the platter of seared ham straight at Runch’s face, splattering the captain, knocking him over, and sending his fruit high up into the air. It seemed as though the precious fruit would soon hit the ground and bruise, or splatter…

Through some miraculous blind coordination, the spoonsaber shot up from the ground and, guided by its owner’s hand, zigged and zagged through to air to catch every piece of airborne fruit. Runch himself still remained on the ground, face covered in blazing hot ham, but he quickly jumped up to his feet, deposited the fruit into a mixed bowl, and chopped it all into tiny pieces. All this while still blind.

A second later, the ham sucked inward, twisting in on itself as though being forced through a tiny hole into the vacuum of space. It then vanished into Runch’s mouth, where it was chewed up and swallowed without a problem. ”Spicy? Please. Dry maybe, but nowhere near too spicy for me! Omnomnomnomnom! Now try this! Rainbow Fruit Salad!” Using his spoonsaber, Runch flung the bowl of fruit salad back at his opponent, who caught the bowl and began to devour the meal in earnest.

”Delicious. A very good fruit salad. How did you poison it?” he asked, wary of the pirate, and tossing the bowl back, which Runch caught.

”I didn’t! Omnomnom!” replied the captain, depositing the bowl into the sink section of his cooking station. This didn’t sit well with Tzar.

”If you don’t want to tell me, then don’t. It makes little difference, as I will still win!” He pointed and whistled again, causing Frankie to swoop once more into the pile of ingredients, this time retrieving several sausages.

Meanwhile, Runch grabbed himself a bag of flour, some milk, cocoa beans, and other assorted ingredients. Swiftly he mixed it all together and, with a dash of his bori bori powers, created colorful sprinkle top, and threw it all into his oven to bake. This should take a few minutes, but once it comes out, it’ll knock out his taste buds, I just know it!

Nearby, Tzar was marinating his sausages in a bizarre mixture of green chilli, caster oil, wasabi, and… was he straining them using used socks?! ”Looks like you’ll be eating plenty of my dishes while you’re waiting for that to bake! Hyufoofoofoof!” He flipped the sausages out of the socks, up into the air.

”You’ll be getting plenty of good eating while my masterpiece bakes, I assure you! Omnomnom!” Runch was already moving toward the food pile to grab his next set of ingredients to prepare.

”Heh. Ballet style, Red Hot Alegro! And Ballon!” With strange grace, Tzar jumped upward into the air, almost flying like a bird. Several feet high, he became level with the sausages, and sliced them neatly with his red hot blades. The pieces landed onto the flat of his weapons, further searing the meat, which he flung down at Runch before landing with tact, toes touching the ground first. ”Sauté!”

This time the captain was ready, and did not get beaned in the face. Rather, he caught the various slices of sausages using his hands and mouth, near instantly swallowing them before shoving the rest into his gullet. The man didn’t pause or flinch. ”The flavors were unbalanced, Howie-san! Next time I’d suggest less wasabi, and a tortilla for the chili! Omnomnomnom!”

Half the crowd was in shock. That man had just down wasabi covered sock-sausage like it was nothing! The very few of them who could actually stomach their chef’s deadly cooking couldn’t do so without some measure of illness, yet this man made it look easy! It was clear Tzar found this irritating. ”We’ll see how my next dish fares,” he snarled, the underlying threat evident.

”Yes, we will!” Runch agreed, oozing sincerity.

Both men began working on their next culinary creation. Runch applied some brown sugar and lightly squeezed lemon juice to a thoroughly mixed bowl of oatmeal, topped with a small dollop of whipped cream, and a red cereal pellet. It was finished just as Tzar began his flowing dance combat cooking style, a steak slathered in enough butter to give a man a heart attack on the spot garnished with bird feces, and seasoned with rat poison.

”Ballet style, Burning Blue Adagio.” His movements, while still flowing and smooth, slowed down tremendously as his arm blades changed from a glowing red hot to a glowing blue hot. Less than half a second was all that was needed to sear the steak to cooked perfection… Or as perfect as it could get, considering what it has been made from. ”Sauté!”

Once again the man jumped, and once again this led to his “meal” getting kicked straight for his opponent. Runch caught the steak at the same time he tossed his own creation back at Tzar, the two foods crossing paths midair. Tzar downed his oatmeal in a single gulp, fearing whatever Runch had done to sabotage the taste… Only to realize it had tasted fantastic! But the enemy had to have done something, hadn’t he?

Runch however, he was chewing up the steak as though savoring the taste. Many a jaws dropped in the bleachers. How?! was the general sentiment.

“How?!” A random Buccaneer asked aloud, utterly shocked.

”Your chef made a tactical error against my cap’n,” spoke the nearby navigator, Hachirou. His eyes never left the display happening before them, his face remained serious and staunch, yet clearly anybody could see he exemplified confidence. ”If he changed strategy and tries to over feed the cap’n then he might have a chance, but as he is now? Creating dangerous and disgusting foods? There is no food known on this earth the cap’n cannot stomach, and if something new is discovered, he’ll learn to eat that too!”

The pirate, confused, asked, “I don’t get it. How?”

”The cap’n is no fool in the kitchen, or on the battlefield, and this setting? It’s both. He knows everyone and everything have different tastes, so he makes every possible recipe he can, and he tries them all. A naturally adventurous man. It’s why I follow him.” Hachirou crossed his arms.

“But our chef just poisoned him! You can’t seriously tell me your captain is used to eating poison!

Hachirou nodded. ”I can.”


Hachirou sighed, clearly bothered by the amount of talking he was now doing. Wasn’t this sort of thing usually Smith’s job? ”You’ve heard of his bori bori powers, right? Heard of the explosive cereal he’s made, the poisonous cereal, the sticky glue cereal? He can’t make new types up on the fly. The cap’n can only make cereals that he himself has already eaten.”

“Wait, are you telling me that this man’s stomach has survived explosive food?! HE CAN'T BE HUMAN!” Hachirou was done speaking to this annoying fly. Rather than address any further questions, he simply knocked the man out with a surprise slap to the back of the head. Problem solved. Now he could get back to focusing on the eating contest…

Down below, Runch and Tzar had made three more dishes apiece. Each of Tzar’s was more disgusting or deadly than the last, but the Cereal Killer happily ate it all up with nary a complaint. Meanwhile, each of Runch’s has been more fulfilling, more tasty. Tzar dared not to savor it, lest some hidden trap be sprung upon his taste buds, but couldn’t deny how amazing it all was. Dammit, what was that pirate doing to these foods, and how could he cover up the taste so well while still being so fantastic?!

”Take this! My most powerful technique! Adagio-“ His movements, slow and precise, setup an array of ingredients unrecognizable by the human eye, one of which might have actually been a human eye. ”-into Alegro!” Quickly he picked up the pace, hacking and slashing with his burning hot blades, transforming the unrecognizable pile of ingredients into… An unrecognizable pile of what could loosely be called food.

”Brisé Volé Maximum! And Sauté!” Once again the “food” found its way into Runch’s mouth, where once again it was thoroughly enjoyed, and critiques on potential improvements. Tzar’s jaw practically hit the dirt, just in time for a small ding to signal that Runch’s big creation, what he had set in the oven at the start of this whole contest, had finished baking.

”Ah, that’s it! Omnomnom!” No sooner had the captain taken out the baking pan did an intoxicating aroma sweep across the field, tickling the noses of everyone. Whatever he had made, it smelled of perfection.

”Here you are, Howie-san, the dish that will end this contest. Myriad Crisp Cereal Bars!” With that, Runch began slicing the baked good into several smaller squares, then stood back as his opponent came to eat the obligatory meal.

Red flags went off in the chef’s head. If Runch had been able to effortlessly stomach the abominations he made, what was in this crisp cereal bar that gave the man such confidence? Slowly Tzar sniffed, desperate for any trace of poison or foul play. He found none.

“A friendly reminder to lieutenant Howie that he cannot go ten seconds without eating or cooking,” a referee called out.

“Six. Seven. Eight.” The other counted.

With no time to waste, Tzar dove right in. My god. This taste. It was… it was… Divine. An orgasm to the mouth! Unable to help himself, Tzar presses his face right into the baking pan, eating more and more as Runch stood aside, laughing as he snacked.

”Omnomnomnom! Glad you enjoyed it! Because now I win!”

Tzar snapped back up. That’s right, his enemy declared victory over this food. He was certain of it. The chef rounded back on the man and gestures rudely. ”What’d you do to this food?” he demanded. ”What’d you put in it? Poison? Gunpowder? Shrapnel?”

Runch couldn’t help himself. Already a naturally jolly man, he belted out a heavy laugh. ”OMNOMNOMNOM! I could never do something like that! My food is my gift! To willingly give someone something I made with my own hands for them to eat, with a nefarious purpose? Why, is have to toss my baking gloves overboard! I could never dishonor my kitchen like that! Not when I see how happy my food has made you! Omnomnomnom!”

Confused, Tzar reeled back, then fell to the floor on his butt. He couldn’t move, he was so shocked! ”Seriously?! Then, you didn’t sabotage ANY of those dishes?! But then how are you so confident that this crispy cereal bar has beaten me?”

As he spoke, Tzar tried to stand, only to find that he lost his balance and tumbled down again. Puzzled, he made another attempt, with even less success. Now thoroughly angry, he tried one last time, but only wound up rolling over. And over. And over. Wait, when did he become a big ball?!

Tzar had inflated into a large ball shape, unable to move! Grunting in frustration, he only saw the green grass in his face as his comparatively tiny limbs flailed helplessly. But he could hear everything. ”Omnomnom! I swore none of my foods could hurt you, but I still came to win! All of my foods were made with one goal in mind. Once they all combined in your stomach, the mixture would force the crispy cereal bars to expand inside you! Omnomnom!”

“Eight! Nine! Ten! Howie Tzar is unable to continue! The winner is Bartholomew K. Runch!”

"OWOWOWOWOW FRANKIE YOU STUPID BIRD, GET OFF ME!" Tzar flailed his arms as best he could, but to no avail. He could not stop the falcon from biting at his ear.
2x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 21 days ago Post by Gardevoiran
Avatar of Gardevoiran

Gardevoiran ༼ つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ༽つ

Member Seen 4 days ago

... uh...
[Asking @yoshua171 a question]

Bonekid watched the match, somewhat confused by everything. He really just couldn't get behind the difficulty of this match.

"... I don't get it. What's the big deal about eating?" Bonekid asked his mom, tilting his head sideways.
Hidden 19 days ago Post by ProPro
Avatar of ProPro

ProPro Pierce the Heavens with your spoon!

Member Seen 0-12 hrs ago

Dirk could practically hear Smith nodding in approval over the helmsman's chosen course of action. Having an ally to fight back against "Bullet" Bill would be beneficial, and in his current state of injury should Pike betray them he would be easily disposed. The ninja pat Dirk on the shoulder twice.

"Ideally, as soon as possible, if I understand your question... Damn you talk weird." The marine lit up another cigar, now chomping down on two at a time. "But I have to get the message to my crew that're still loyal to me. Once they know we're ready to make the move, we can coordinate the attack together. That's what I can use you for, since you're so sneaky and got around the men at port."

Pike reached over to one of the nearby pieces of paper that had been tossed about the room as a side effect of his being blasted through the wall, and took a pen to the backside. From the look on his face, he was concentrating fiercely, putting in all his effort into the work. "I'm making a very detailed, highly intricate coded image that only my most loyal men will understand. Make sure that as many of the soldiers see this as possible, and they'll get the message. Ah, done." He handed the paper out to Dirk, who upon seeing it, realized it was a stick figure drawing of a cannon with a big X crossing it out. And not a very good stick drawing either. Like, wow. Man. Don't quit your dayjob. Sheesh.

"I'm going to go see if I can get reinforcements from nearby patrols, or another base. You'll know the signal when I jump out and attack that shitty turncoat weapon." Pike took great effort to move himself toward the door at this point, giving pause just before making his exit. "Oh, and one more thing. Betray me? And I'll see your entire crew at the gallows as the crowd cheers for their deaths. See you soon, pirate scum." With that, he left, walking off to the tower that housed the den den mushis. Joke's on him, since Dirk and Smith had already wrecked that room!
Hidden 16 days ago 16 days ago Post by Leaves
Avatar of Leaves

Leaves The Friendly Bulbasaur

Member Seen 3 days ago

"Ready to Participate"

Interacting with:[everyone]

Feya strokes her chin once the next match was at its preparation. Boone looked more than ready to compete and avenge the badger humanoid. The fitness woman rotated her neck, cracking the air bubbles located between her bones. “No pressure, but you kind of have to win this,” she snickered. “Put your all into it,” Feya mentioned afterwards.

Staying in silence, she noticed her captain chose to utilize his own weapon for the challenge. Smart move, but not a clever one. The rules applied to the weapon did set off a disadvantage. The blunderbuss won’t be able to hit Chaka at a distance away. From the start of this match, Boone is going to have to close the gap between them to deliver a critical shot. Even then, the annunciation he has on his person is of low supply. The competitor only allowed him five shells — not a lot of room for error.

The familiar whistle rang through Feya’s ears thus starting the match. Realizing that this is a match of marksmanship, Feya understood why there wasn’t a lot of fighting abruptly. The winner of this match had to go to the victor who utilizes the environment to their advantage as well as stealthily and successfully attacking their opponent.

Feya winced, not sure if she could do any better in this matchup. Most likely, Chaka might unleash her entire round onto Feya, therefore, winning by the rules of the game. The fitness woman wouldn’t suffer any major injuries, but would still lose to a technicality. The rules of these games make everything more difficult.

Feya dug her nails into her forearm. Boone received a point against him already. To make matters worse, he descended down into a trap. He managed to get out of the situation; however, it did appear that he might have inhaled some of the poisonous fumes that Chaka threw down. Chaka definitely knew how to win in this contest and the layout of this environment. Every time Boone received a paint shot on his person, he seemed to become angrier.

Boone clearly attempted to fool his opponent in several ways. His on-the-spot thinking pulled off some clever tricks. He rustled some bushes to trick Chaka, but alas, the enemy figured it out. By appearing behind the captain, he got another in. Feya clapped her hands together. "Let's go; you got this!" Kind of late to start cheering for support; this might have been what the teammates who had lost needed. Feya had been quiet throughout the matches so far. It's possible they could have pulled through with someone in the sidelines chanting their name.

The Red Rum's captain started becoming a little desperate. In one final attempt to fool his competitor, he clothed an inanimate object and pushed the limp body into the pit. By applying flames and other variables, he managed to make a convincing trick to finally pull over Chaka. The succession brought a grin to Feya's face. "Did you guys see that? He finally landed a hit!" The events to follow next just confused the fitness woman. Everyone began acting weird when Chaka's face was revealed.

Looking at the faces of her crew members and Bill's underlings, she did not understand the commotion. "I don't get. She doesn't even lift," Feya grunted, not fully aware of men's opinion. She shook it off and became relieved that Boone managed to take another win. The fitness lady turned her attention to the second-mate. Smiling in return, she curled her arm to show off one of her magnificent biceps. "I'll definitely bring back a W for sure!"

Feya watched the next scene unfold; the next captain stepped forward to participate in an eating contest. The fitness woman tugged her earlobe. "I mean, I get that it's a contest, but...this doesn't seem difficult." She shrugged her shoulders, not willing to speak anymore on a matter that she doesn't know. This practically could become a match for the ages that parents will tell their kids someday.

Unfortunately, this match would give her no insights on how to approach her next match. Eating questionable items was not going to prepare her against Bullet Bill. For that, she utilized this time wisely to start a warm-up. She lied her stomach on the ground and began pushing herself up from the floor. The fitness woman transitioned into sit-ups, crunches, planking, and burpees. "Ugh. I really need to find a way to take iron with me wherever I go," she grunted, wishing she had some dumbells to lunk around.

Her body began to perspire, beads of sweat landed on the floor as her body temperature rose. Her heartbeat increased and the muscles she worked on began feeling tighter. She started to uphold herself with her hands while performing bicycle kicks in the air. "Can't forget about the leg muscles," she spat. As more time passed, she heard the end of the eating contest thus ending her warm-up.

"Okay, Red Runners! Group up!" She extended her arms out and tried to pull all her team members into a group huddle. Whoever she managed to include in her group hug would no doubt smell the body odor coming off of her. Those who were unfortunate and were on the left and right side of her would feel her sweaty arms wrapped around their backs-- their necks if they were shorter than her. "This is our first chant so I'll make it easy. On three say "For the Gains." 1...2...3...FOR THE GAINS!" On each count, she pushed her head forward hoping to bash heads with her crewmates.

After the chant was done, she clapped her hands together. "I am pumped!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, ready to particiapte.

1x Like Like
Hidden 12 days ago 12 days ago Post by Spiffy
Avatar of Spiffy

Spiffy Prince of Peace

Member Seen 12 hrs ago

Captain Cedric D. Boone - Cannon Castle X

Responding to @Gardevoiran and @Leaves

Boone looked to Bonekid and smiled, "Thanks friend! I'm not very easy on the yes, Bawhahahahaha!" He took his clothes back and dressed himself. He was still muddy, but now he was covered. He sat down in the stands and rested. Sighing to himself. It had been a tough match, but he'd come out on top in the end.

He watched Runch decimate his foe with chess-like strategy. Taking him apart. Even when the man thought he was ahead, he was only one step behind. It culminated in the grand finale as the man bulged out like a balloon. Then Boone yelled out in congradulations, "You took him down Captain! That's the chef we need right now! Bawhahahaha!"

Feya began to do a group huddle which Cedric happily joined. Team spirit was one of the 5 basic crew groups. Or was it good groups? Regardless he wholeheartedly agreed and slammed his head into the center along with the rest of them. Then he fell over from the impact and was knocked unconscious. Apparently Feya and Bonekid's heads were much harder then he anticipated.
Hidden 11 days ago Post by BCTheEntity
Avatar of BCTheEntity

BCTheEntity Taco Tuesday is the true path.

Member Online

Dirk Messir - Dirkwing Dirk Does Dirk Deeds

The fact that you lucked out about this so dramatically doesn't make you any better of a person. You're still a horrible freak.

Nooope. I win, loser. I got the ally, and he donuts even knows about the sparoons. He won it. He is the best.

Except you suck Fool! You can't succeed Idiot!

Yes. You will succeed. You'll be the succeedest to ever succeed. And furthermore, you have top deer there was then that deer taste. In coats.

'Okay, Smish, we should get to the go,' Dirk malts, patting Smeth on the back to get him to start going. 'And we'll tell everyone we just beat up first. Wait, no. Jim can do that. Big Tiger Jim. We'll go the opposite directing round first.' Yes, perfect plotan. He's going to do it. They will do it, and it'll be good.

'...should there be less obverse imagey?' you asked first, for obvious reasons that he was about to say. 'It might be obverse, and people will tell Brulee Bill about it.'


'Obvious, I meant.'

Good Job, Dirk! That Correction Was Very Useful For Him!

He was is am knowing of this, Big Guy. Yaes.
Hidden 11 days ago Post by Old Amsterdam
Avatar of Old Amsterdam

Old Amsterdam The Drunken Creator

Member Seen 1 hr ago

Caesar watched the eating match with a mild amusement, as the enemy tried and failed to gross out the cereal alien. Who, in turn, was making some fantastically delicious seeming meals. It really was an odd match, Caesar couldn't figure out the point of it.

Though at least it was an easy one? It almost didn't seem fair, really, compared to his broken arms and the intensely physical matches so far.

He almost didn't see Feya reaching for him and the others, managing to slip further away while she did... Whatever the hell she was doing. What even was that? Had she gotten into Cedric's stash, per chance?

But wait, she didn't drink! Right?
Hidden 4 days ago 4 days ago Post by yoshua171
Avatar of yoshua171

yoshua171 The Loremaster

Member Seen 14 hrs ago

Lilliana Merrycure

Watching intently, despite hardly understanding the nature of the contest beyond its basic concept and rules, Lilli hoped that their ally would win. At Bonekid's interjection, she glanced away, “I am not sure myself, but I am curious to see where this goes.” She turned her eyes back to the situation, frowning as she noted each disgusting dish served by the enemy crewmate. It kept getting worse as disgusting turned to dangerous, and dangerous turned to potentially lethal.

With each successive meal eaten, she found herself more and more perplexed by Runch's lack of reaction. Even hearing Hachirou's explanation, she could hardly believe it. It was incredible, even if implausible. There were so many amazing things in this world!

As Runch's final meal was eaten her eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly in a small gasp. “Oh wow,” she muttered quietly as their ally won. Then, as she realized it was over, a big smile—if a tired one—spread across her face. Though she had not the energy to cheer or clap, she managed a big thumbs up. While Feya tried to bring her into the huddle, her seated and weak position had her ducking out of that little situation. She smiled at her crew, happy for the enthusiasm, even if she couldn't mirror it. Then she looked back to Runch as he began returning and offered her compliments to the chef.

“Very Impressive,” she said, managing a measure of gusto.
↑ Top
© 2007-2017
BBCode Cheatsheet