Avatar of Altered Tundra

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Recent Statuses

7 days ago
Current idk who is in the right but GRAB THE DICK AND TWIST IT!
4 likes
1 mo ago
A decade ago when we made that meme "get kid", this isn't exactly what we meant...
1 like
2 mos ago
Do you think the reason Jesus Christ doesn't rise again is because we keep putting up crosses and he gets flashbacks on how that went last time?
5 likes
7 mos ago
Happy almost crisis!
9 likes
9 mos ago
it's not just a rock IT'S A BOULDER!...or whatever Spongebob said
1 like

Bio

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Chris knew that his partner would be hesitant at first. Hell, even as he said what he just said sounded crazy both inside of his head and out from his mouth, but it was something that was just crazy enough to not only believe, but to be true. He somehow convinced her to follow his idea. While she did yell out in pain from the initial punch, eventually, as she was about midway of her rant about how stupid of an idea it was, she saw what Chris was talking about. Granted, it was the complete opposite of what he had, but it was the same thing. She had Ice, which contrasted with her personality. It was the same with Chris.

“Yeah, now you see what I was talking about.” Chris said as he got up. When he did, he heard what Beth’s idea was. It was stupid, it was idiotic, but fuck it probably was their best bet. If they were to go at the safe and go out through that way, it would take them hours and just how tiring that would be Chris doesn’t want to find out. Plus, he’s got a bit of built up anger from the lack of a score, so Chris is all for Beth’s plan.

Soon, after she went out up the stairs, and to the exit of the bank, Chris would soon follow as he would have the artifact in hand. The artifact itself was light. It was dense, but it didn’t weigh as much as it looked. It probably was around twenty pounds, but Chris had lifted something much heavier than that and for much longer. As he came to the surface, he just came in time as he heard Beth call him Captain Tiny-Dick, which was funny, cause he has a pretty large dick.

“I’m here, and..” Right when he was about to finish that, he saw the wall of ice she created. It was mighty impressive for just figuring out that she had powers. Then again, Chris doesn’t know how much he can do. Perhaps he should just try and see.

As he followed her lead, Chris held the artifact-box thing in one arm, and as he focused his newly-found powers, he came to the surprise that his entire arm was a circling inferno. “Well this is new.” He said as he looked at his arm, surprised and perhaps a little drunk with the power. “Hey dumbass, duck!” Chris said as he jumped off the ice block that Beth had created and extended his arm outward in a vertical way and a fiery blast wave of fire power was launched at the cops. In the pathway, everything was burned in a straight, ten feet cyclone. The result was complete mayhem as the cop cars directly in the path of the blast were instantly engulfed in fire and the force from said fire pushed the cars back, either killing innocents and the cops or injuring said innocents and cops.

Chris landed in front of the Bank. “So, unless you want to have more fun, perhaps we should go now?”
While he was close to Emiri, Jaakuna could feel the same thing she was feeling. Maybe he was being smug too much to feel as nervous, but his heart was too racing. It was like it had gone and skipped a beat, and just repeatedly pacing faster and faster. He too was feeling the same type of way she was, but again, he’s too smug at the current moment to really notice it. However, him being the way he is being was his was of expressing what he felt.

When Emiri stuttered, not being able to get out a single, coherent sentence, Jaakuna found it really amusing…and cute She’s really cute like this. When he had entered that mindset, Jaakuna didn’t see the peck coming. It was fast, but he let it happen to, leading to him to embrace it. From him, it was much more than a peck, it was a full-on kiss. Jaakuna had found…something in him — something that he thought was dead and gone. He had found his heart.

He pressed her against the wall again, this time not in an aggressive manner. It was more…sensual. What am I doing? I just met her yesterday…and yet, I’m drawn.. Jaakuna just couldn’t stop, he wanted her, but it was weird — different. Yes, it was different now. There was something much more than him teasing. It was something unknown to him and with one kiss at a time, he will explore the unknown..
And there it was. Jaakuna figured it out. The reason why she was acting funny this morning, the reason she was so jealous. She thinks that Savayna has him and she wants to have him. Jaakuna found surprise and humor in this. He doesn’t know why, but the fact that she thinks that Savayna has him is pretty funny to him. Maybe it’s cause it’s been three years since the two of them have been like that. Or maybe he just finds it kind of funny that she’s developed feelings for him in such a short amount of time, but then again Jaakuna never really had any other frame of reference. Savayna was his only real relationship. He’s had flings, but the Ice Queen herself was the only real one.

Looking at her, Jaakuna let her out from the pinning position he had her in. He walked away, turning around and just smiling. “So that’s what it is huh? You want me don’t you?” Jaakuna grinned in a smug manner. He went up to Emiri. Knowing now what he does, Jaakuna teased her by getting in close, as she probably had moved away from the wall, touching her sides with his, bringing her in close to him. His arms around her waist, and his lips literally inches away from hers. “You know, if I didn’t know better, you wanted my rhythm of love.” Jaakuna said almost as a whisper, since he was so close to her.
They were probably staring at each other for a full minute. Jaakuna could feel the heat — the intense heat of whatever it was. There was definitely something, but Jaakuna couldn’t place it, and surely Emiri couldn’t either…Or could she? Jaakuna had no idea, but he didn’t want to down that road yet. He had to focus on what she was saying and boy was she saying something that got Jaakuna…well confused. When she said the stuff about her being jealous of Savayna and how Jaakuna probably proposed, he let go of her arm angrily. It was like what she said wasn’t the truth and it got him angry just thinking about it.

“It shows, you know.” Jaakuna said completely serious. “You truly are stupid.” Jaakuna said as he slowly had backed away from Emiri, turned away. He turned back after a few seconds, “You want to know the truth about my marriage to Savayna?” Jaakuna was livid and he was gong to tell her. “My marriage to her was arranged, by my father and her mother.” Jaakuna said, revealing the half-truth of it. “Yes, we knew each other as kids, but neither of us saw each other in that way, but she was from a rich family of a rich land. To escape certain conquering of that very land, her father and my father came to a deal and they married the two of us. “ Jaakuna said as he started walking to Emiri, taking her and pinning her against the left wall, his body against hers. It was raw, pure passion from Jaakuna. “So, you still jealous?” He said keeping her pinned against the wall and he just waited.
Jaakuna wasn’t the smartest guy, but even his cluelessness had a limit. He knew something was bothering Emiri. He didn’t know what it was or why she was getting so annoyed, but the Sky Pirate definitely knew there was something bothering her. He knew that much as she had just got up and left to go to the barracks. Jaakuna would definitely want to find out what exactly was bothering her and why Jaakuna saying all the dresses he has in the barracks area were Savayna’s bothered her so much.

So, Jaakuna followed her, being able to stop her as he grabbed her hand, and yanked her back to him. Jaakuna gripped her tight, and he looked into her bold violet eyes. “You want to tell me what’s wrong with you? Why does it bother you so much that the dresses are Savayna’s?” Jaakuna said as he pretty much demanded an answer as his tone was in a yelling manner.
An odd look appeared on Jaakuna’s face. He hadn’t had this discussion with anyone before because there was no need for it. Jaakuna was never asked about his past or his marriage to Savayna because there was no need. He never got close to anyone, or at least not for enough time for said people to be able to question him about his wife/ex-wife. So, Jaakuna wasn’t prepared for this conversation, but he knew he had to have it.

Setting his food aside, Jaakuna slid the plate to the side. “Well, it’s a little more complicated than that. “Jaakuna spoke as he looked down at the table, then he looked back up. “Yes, they are — were her clothes, and yes she’s my wife — erm ex-wife, I don’t know. “Jaakuna stood up, looking at the sink, then back at Emiri. “There‘s a lot you don‘t know about me, about her, and why I ran from my home three years ago."Jaakuna said as he was leaning against the sink, hands on it as his elbows were bent in a position that made them that way when he set his hands on the edge of the sink.
Getting all angry? For what? Jaakuna just continued with his coffee, not even responding to what Emiri said about having her coffee already, but about the last bit, he felt the need to actually respond back. “Yeah, well I’m not. I prefer not to hear annoying birds chirp. It’s fucking annoying. I prefer the sounds of my farts waking me up.” JAakuna said as he had finished his coffee. He walked over to the sink, and put in there, turning on the fosit as he did to wash the leftover liquid .

As he did that, Jaakuna proceeded to get some breakfast. He just got some bread and cheese Just getting a bit of it, he started eating as he had sat down in the chair that he was sitting in before. As he ate, taking in one bite at a time, Emiri started talking, well asking a question is more like it. What she had to ask prompted Jaakuna to spit out his food in total surprise, some of it getting on Emiri’s face. “W-what?” Jaakuna said as he quickly got a napkin and wiped off his face as cheese and crumbs of bread had gotten on his face. What she had asked had taken him by surprise. He didn’t expect that so early in the morning.

“Well, um, yeah you’re right. “ Jaakuna said as he tried to eat as quickly as he could. “What brought this up?” Jaakuna said as he tried to get to the bottom of it without wanting to know specifics, but he did, even though he wouldn’t admit that.
Jeez, does she have no decency. IT’S THE FUCKING MORNING! Jaakuna just rubbed his temples at the very overreaction and imagination of Emiri. Surely she has never heard of an AI. Jaakuna was both irritated and amused at this lack of knowledge that Emiri had..or rather didn’t have.

“ Sheesh woman, you sure don’t know a bit about how far technology as come. It’s a fucking A.I, dumbo.” Jaakuna said as he sipped his coffee. Then he heard her ask him why he wearing the shirt that he is wearing. “What, are you a shirt racist now? It’s just a black fucking shirt. Seriously, you’re dumb when you don’t have your coffee.’ Jaakuna said as he simply sipped his coffee some more, holding his cup with two hands.
Jaakuna had taken the time to shower up. It was quick and fast, maybe about ten minutes. He just wanted to freshen up. He had washed his body and hair two times over and as he got out, he wrapped a towel around his waist and went to his closet. He just picked out a few things. First, he got a pair of semi-bleached out grey pants. As he picked out that, he also grabbed a black shirt. He also picked up his shoes that he always wears, and put on his red jacket over it. He let his hair just hang out as that’s how he prefers to wear it.

Heading down via the elevator, Jaakuna came down just in time to hear Emiri ask what that noise she heard was.

“I am I.R.I.S., the ship’s AI, Miss Emiri. Do tell me how I can be of assistance.” IRIS said as she went quiet.

Jaakuna walked in, instantly smelling that delicious smell within the air. “Damn, what are you cooking? It smells delish~” He said as he sat down, pouring himself a cup of coffee before he did so.
In his room, Jaakuna had the blankets all over the bed and half-hanging off of the bed. His right hand was in his pants and the other supporting his head by it being a butterfly-like formation. As he scratched his balls, Jaakuna slowly opened up his eyes. The first thing that he saw when he opened them was the bright light from the sun beaming from his sunroof. He turned around, hands off from his head and his pants, Jaakuna looked towards the clock. It was around 10am. Jaakuna sighed as he laid his head back down on his fluffy pillows. He laid there for a few minutes. He wanted to keep on sleeping, but he knew he had to get up fully.

“I.R.I.S.(Integrated Reality Intelligence System), is Emiri up yet” Jaakuna said as he wiped his eyes with his hands.

“Yes sir, she is. She’s in the kitchen in the barracks having coffee. Shall I inform her that you’re awake?” Iris spoke, asking Jaakuna if she should inform emiri of him awakening.

“Yeah, that’s fine.”
“It shall be done, sir.”


“Miss Emiri. Master Jaakuna wishes me to inform you that he is awake. He will be down to the kitchen shortly.” Iris said as her voice resonated through the speakers and walls of the kitchen in the visitor barracks.
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