Avatar of Altered Tundra

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7 days ago
Current idk who is in the right but GRAB THE DICK AND TWIST IT!
4 likes
1 mo ago
A decade ago when we made that meme "get kid", this isn't exactly what we meant...
1 like
2 mos ago
Do you think the reason Jesus Christ doesn't rise again is because we keep putting up crosses and he gets flashbacks on how that went last time?
5 likes
7 mos ago
Happy almost crisis!
9 likes
9 mos ago
it's not just a rock IT'S A BOULDER!...or whatever Spongebob said
1 like

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I do not mind it one bit. and I LOVE how you threw in those oddities. Like, the carrot-shaped car, doberman in a business suit, and a freaking bear in a top hat(Yogi Bear anyone?) I loved your post! :D Also, am I right to assume that Niko just glanced over to where he saw Carlos?
Wesley was definitely a bit worried about the looks that Nadeline had on her face and the advice that Grant had given him. It just spoke unsafe speeds. Still, Wesley would heed the advice given to him and he would hold on for dear life. His hands held onto the side bars(as low as they were), and made sure his feet were firmly planted on the steel plates that his feet were touching.

Grant would explain that they would be going to the Gilmore Jungle, and more specifically the Viera Village of Eruyt. He would further say that the Viera, despite their isolation in the Wood, have helped the Rosalia family due to favors that his ancestors did for Aloa way back when she was still the leader of the tribe. Just hearing Grant say that really gave Wesley a good idea of how old Aloa really was and truly she was someone who had strength beyond his own imagination. Wesley would agree mentally with Grant as he would state that Reia is most likely there in the viera village. At least, that’s where Wesley would begin the search.

As that was said, and the workshop door raised, the three of them and two bikes tore off in blinding speed. Wesley held on for dear life. He could feel the rapidness of the wind increasing as the speed also did so, his hair flying backwards. The hovercraft that Nadeline and Wesley were on was further than Grant, but soon he caught up and he would just glance slightly at Wesley. The look that he gave him was definitely that was telling him to relax. Wesley thought that was entirely impossible at the moment, but he would acknowledge Grant nonetheless. He would just pray that the speed wouldn’t be the same for much longer.
When the image of Isaiah ended, the three of them would just wonder individually about what he wanted and Emiri would actually be the one to vocally state it. Jaakuna really didn’t know and he honestly was half-looking forward to it, and half-worried it would be a trap. He wouldn’t put it past him past it. Though, Jaakuna wanted to at least see it out. If it was a trap, then Emiri could always get them out of it, but Jaakuna didn’t want to just rely on Emiri to get them out of sticky situations. Jaakuna looked to Emiri and spoke. “I don’t know, but I guess we’ll see, be on guard just in case.” He said
At the Phon Coast, the skies are as blue as the ocean. The breeze was there as it always has been in the sunny season. The birds are chirping away, flying in the skies, and in the Hunter’s Camp, the trio found themselves just looking at the wonderful sight they saw. Of course, they were looking around for Isaiah and sure enough there he was. However, he was in a very casual outfit. He wore a black jacket with white fur-like material on it, a brown T-shirt, and olive-green pants. He would signal them to follow him and they did.

As they followed him, they stopped behind a giant rock. Jaakuna would speak. “Why have you called us here?” JAakuna said, cutting to the chase.

Isaiah sighed. “Vincent’s being overthrown.” He simply said.

“WHAT!?” JAakuna and Savayna said in unison and complete shock.

Isaiah sighed once more. “It gets better. “ He said lightly laughing. “Your grandfather got four of the judges, including himself, and planned a coup. He stated some bullshit reasons that Vincent has gotten out of control or whatever. He then revealed to us the morning later after telling us that cousin Roman will be taking Vincent’s place.” Isaiah said scratching his head.

Jaakuna couldn’t believe it. “Why Roman? I thought he was the Marquis?” Jaakuna asked.

“As of today, he isn’t. “ Isaiah said. “Word around Archades is that he’s flying to Archadia today and that is when it’s going to happen.” Isaiah revealed.

Jaakuna should be happy about this, but he wasn’t. Actually, he was beyond that. “Damn it! This ruins everything.” JAakuna said in frustration.

Isaiah raised an eyebrow. “Ruins what? Are you planning something?” He asked.

Jaakuna sighed. “Might as well.” He said. “Prepare yourself, Isaiah, you’re in for one hell of a story.”

And then Jaakuna began to tell Isaiah about everything, from the events in Giruvegan, to finding out that his father was trapped in The Great Crystal by Hamut and even to the fact that Jaakuna didn’t kill his father, but rather his uncle(Isaiah’s dad). He told him everything about how Jaakuna absorbed his father’s soul and with the help of Savayna and Emiri, plan on sneaking to the Draklor Labs to find his father’s body. Yes, Jaakuna told him every last bit.

After hearing all of that, Isaiah was in such disbelief that it wasn’t even funny. “You’re lying! You have to be..” Isaiah said completely in denial.

Jaakuna frowned. “I wish I was, but it’s true. My father is still alive in a sense. Your father was the one that I…well you know.” Jaakuna looked down.

“B-But why? Just so that Grandfather could control every little bit of it!?” He slightly shouted and asked Jaakuna.

Jaakuna didn’t know how to answer that. “I understand if you don’t believe me, but please know that I plan on making things all right. I will return my father’s soul to his body and he will make things right again.” Jaakuna said to Isaiah.

The blonde judge looked at Jaakuna.. “How could you possibly make this right for me? I was just told my father was murdered by your hands.” Isaiah was in tears right now. “How can you make that right? Huh, Jackson!” He yelled and cried. He was right. Isaiah had every right to yell at him and Jaakuna couldn’t make it right for Isaiah, but he could for everyone else and bring honor back to his father.

Savayna would stand there, clench her fist and punch Isaiah, which caused him to fall to his back, and then he looked up at Isaiah. “Get a hold of yourself! Yeah it sucks that your dad is dead, but come on Isaiah!? You had a feeling Hamut was wrong for dethroning Vincent, so don’t let this sudden news make you cloud any of your previous intentions.” She said turning around. “Either you help us and avenge your father or you stay here crying like a little baby. Either way, we will go and do what we must.” Savayna, while a bit cold, spoke the truth.

Isaiah looked to Savayna and stood up. “I will help you. “ He said standing up. “Lead the way, Jackson.” He said.
Thanks~ And that's totally up to you. I'm for either option. ^_^


“ARE YOU READY TO PARTY!?” Loudly said a lightly-brown skinned male.

The sounds of the bass bumped through the club. Lights of various shades flared off the ceiling and floor, they also reflected off of the disco ball hanging above everyone dancing in the club. Fists were pumping in the air, everyone shouting in excitement. They wanted to party, that’s for sure. There was groping, rubbing, kissing, embracing, punching, slapping — just about everything one could expect from a late-night club party. The man operating the music, he could be seen with a pair of green and brown Beats Headphones around his head as he toyed with his various music-making props.

Nearing midnight, the party was over. This club was only open till midnight, anyways. Soon, everyone walked out, and the last of them was the Disc Jockey who had been hired to be said DJ for the night. After he got paid from the Club Owner and then he walked out, bag over his shoulder. As Carlos walked down the street, he took notice to how the skies were nice tonight. Grey clouds covered most of the blackness, but he could see the moonlight showing through some of it. The stars added a very peaceful atmosphere to it.

Carlos took steps rather deeply. Unlike the usual person walking, his steps actually were him sort of dipping his lower body and taking as what people would call ‘double step’. It was much like how street gangsters walk, but not as tacky.

Heading home, Carlos was about five blocks away. It was lucky for him that his job tonight was near his home. He would turn a corner and come on 2nd street. He would come to the sight of some drunk. Said drunk would approach him, baring ragged clothing with tears all over and a bottle of hard liquor in his hand. Carlos would slowly back away, just hoping to avoid any trouble from the man. However, the drunk would look to Carlos and the DJ would notice something weird about him. His eyes seemed bigger than they should be and the man had very pointed ears. Carlos instantly thought the man resembled an owl of some kind.

The drunk would just keep on repeating. “It’s the end! It’s the end!”, over and over again. Carlos tilted his head in some very modest confusion. Carlos would just turn a corner and something happened. He blacked out for a few seconds and he came to the sight of some tavern-like place. He looked at it and there was a neon sign. Carlos really didn’t think that was odd. The sign read ‘Coffee Shack’. Carlos just walked in, hoping to get at least some understanding of what had just happened.

He walked into the shack and he looked around. It looked like something out some kind of old-timey picture. The joint was really rustic and just read old-fashioned to Carlos. The DJ would then pull up a barstool and sit in it, just thinking about what this place was.

Carlos was looking down at the wooden countertop and it was oddly shaded with neon green and purple. Suddenly, he heard strange voice. “What will it be?” Carlos looked up and saw a spoon. An actual, talking spoon wearing an apron.

Carlos shook his head, his reddish-brown hair flying across his face. He adjusted his hat. “Um, I’ll have a Pepsi.” He nervously said biting his thumb with his pearly whites.

“Coming right up, doll face.”

Carlos didn’t know what to event think. Where was he? Wherever he was, he would just let the answers come to him and not seek them out foolishly.


“Harder! Harder!”

The sounds of an unstable, rocking bed banging against the wall could be described as a loud thumping noise. Moans of both male and female could be heard in a sorority house, but in one room specifically the moans were louder and more intense than any other girl in the house. One in specifc, a very busty, bubbly, outgoing, quite sexual, brown-haired female was at the epicenter of it all. Her body being thrusted, taken, embraced, kissed, and quite simply, fucked to kingdom come. The time of which she remembered when it started escaped her mind, but the time was definitely nearing midnight and it all started in around ten. So, it was definitely happening for almost two hours and it was almost done.

Once the climax of it all was reached, she got off from the bed, her movements causing it to squeak. As she walked up, her naked body was seen from a fellow student. She would head to the bathroom and grab a brush. She gently ran the brush through her hair, causing it to straighten to her shoulders. She would smile lightly at the man laying in her bed. She would then release a giggle, and speak.

“You can let yourself out.” She said turning to the bathroom.

The man was shocked. “But what about sleeping together?” He asked quite baffled and confused.

She peaked her head out the bathroom. “Oh please, you’re just a guy I fucked, nothing more and nothing less. ‘ She said rather coldly. “Now, please leave, and don’t wake up anyone.” She said closing the door of her bathroom.

A few seconds later she would hear a door open and closing, telling her that her fuck buddy for the night had left. Staring into the mirror, Lenore smiled at herself. She would then turn on the hot water and in the following ten minutes, she would bathe herself and do it rather quickly. Afterwards, she would dry herself, place on some clothes, which included a long-sleeved shirt that was brown on the sleeves and white on the torso. She would then put on a frilly skirt that had pinkish-brown and black on it, stockings of the same colors, but striped, and black shoes.

Her plan was to go visit a friend before she would turn in. So, with that being settled, Lenore would head out of her room, out of the house, and start walking through campus. Her friend just lived a few blocks away from the campus, so it wasn’t like she had to walk far. In a few minutes, she found herself off-campus and as she crossed the street, she saw something out of the corner of her eye. Sure, it wouldn’t strike as odd, but what she saw was a hooker, obviously trying to get clients, but what she saw was weird. “Is that fur?” She said, musing her thoughts aloud.

As she continued to look, a car went by her line of sight and the hooker was gone. Lenore blinked three times. After that, she noticed that not only was she not on the street that she was just at, but around her were weird surroundings. Odd colors on buildings and just about everything that was not normal. “Oh boy, what did I get myself into now?”
It would seem so haha. I mean, I love it, but I just wasn't sure if I read correctly.

Also, my post should be up within the hour. :3

EDIT: Posted :D
Wait, did I read properly? The waiter is a spoon, like an actual spoon(utensil type)?
As they came to the unofficially named workshop, The Royal Hangar. Inside it Wesley clearly saw that there were a bunch of different machines that ranged from vehicles to other such things. It definitely seemed like that Lorenzo was really a gearhead. Wesley just chuckled lightly as Nadeline would pull a tarp over a hovercraft. When he saw it, Wesley led out a low, fading whistle at how wonderfully-crafted the hovercraft was. Truly, Lorenzo knew his way around a machine. It puts Wesley to shame. Of course, his specialty was not in building machines.

Wesley would get out of his awe of the hovercraft and he sat upon the high chair. As he did so, he looked over to Grant and he had his own, more traditional motorcycle. Still, it was a beaut to behold. It was coated with metallic green and gold, several pipes running through it, both in the front and back. Wesley just admired the wonderful bikes and other such machines that were in the Hangar/workshop. "So, does this have a seat-belt?" Wesley worryingly asked Nadeline as she would settle in on the bottom portion and WEsley couldn't help but notice her buttocks.
About tenminutes into flight, the Ifrit was just passing by the Dalmascan Wesetersand and by extension, Rabanastre. They wouldn't get to the Tchita Uplands for at least another hour, which would give them time to go over the plan. Sitting at the table, the trio was just chowing down on some assortment of deli meats(turkey, Roast Beef, Ham) and cheeses. As they were doing that, Jaakuna would swallow his mouthful of it and speak. "IRIS, can you bring up a map of Archades, please?"
"Yes, Master JAakuna!"


As Iris would bring up Archades in a hologram-type of thing, JAakuna would stand up and start pointing. "We definitely know that my father's body is somewhere in Archades. I don't know where exactly, but my best bet would be somewhere in the Draklor Labs." JAakuna said.

Savayna listened and as soon as she finished, she would provide her input. "Yeah, that sounds like a definite possibility. It's going to be heavily guarded. It's one of the most prestigious buildings of Archades. Getting into it will be tough." Savayna added.

Jaakuna listened to Savayna and she was absolutely right. Without some distractions or help(no matter how minimal), it was almost impossible to get in. Thankfully, they have an ace in the hole. "And fortunately for us, that's where Emiri comes in." Jaakuna said. "With her time-stopping ability, we should be able to get into the labs at least to a point where we can proceed in it." Jaakuna added.

Just as Jaakuna was about to continue, Iris would intervene.
"Master Jaakuna, you have an incoming call request."
"Who is it, Iris?"
"Forth Judge Magister, Isaiah Darcone."


At that point, silence took the room and widened eyes came over Savayna and Jaakuna. "Patch him through."

As JAakuna said that, the map disappeared and a visual of Ixion appeared as another hologram. "Isaiah, you better make this quick." Jaakuna said clearly annoyed.

"Jackson, we need to talk. Can you meet me in the Phon Coast Hunter's Camp?" Isaiah asked.

Jaakuna was stunned at his request. Sure, the Hunter's Camp was neutral territory for anyone, but why would Isaiah want to meet him now. And why was he doing it on Jaakuna's private channel. It just seemed weird to Jaakuna. "Fine, we'll meet you. How soon?" Jaakuna asked.

[b]"I'm already here. Get here as soon as you can."
Isaiah said.

Jaakuna sighed. "Fine, we'll be there in twenty minutes." Jaakuna said closing out of the call. "IRIS, hyper speed to The Phon Coast Hunter's Camp." Jaakuna said.

"Yes Master Jaakuna!"
Well, I do too. xD Going to have to really think this out.
When Grant and Savayna finished up what they were talking about, they were encountered by Nadeline and Wesley, who were there to pick up Grant. However, right before they would do that, they would go say goodbye to Emiri and Jaakuna. Of course, there was some awkwardness there, but they still did it. Once that was all said and done, Wesley, Grant, and Nadeline all went on their way and so did the other three.

Jaakuna, Savayna, and Emiri all went to the Aerodome. The journey there would be a moderately short one as it would only take them about twenty minutes to do so. Once they found themselves back aboard the Ifrit, Jaakuna would order Iris to set a course for the Tchita Uplands to which the group would go through the Sochen Cave Palace, then through Old Archades, and then eventually to The Imperial City of Archades. It would be a long trip and not one that was going to be too favorable, but they had to do it.

Nadeline and Grant led Wesley to wherever the hover bikes were at. Along the way, Wesley kept on thinking how the other three would fare and just what sort of danger they might or might not be in. Regardless of that, however, Wesley had to stay focused on finding Reia and getting her back to Stigma.
Since I misuse words sometimes, I guess I don't really mind it when people do as well.
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