Altered Tundra

The Elder Scrolls: Swords & Septims

@Altered Tundra – Kalthar, as Hank put it, feels somewhat disjointed, and this begins in his appearance. It sometimes repeats info and sometimes contradicts himself (an example, as petty as it might be, is his eye color – to my knowledge cerulean blue is much lighter than sapphire blue).

His personality similarly repeats itself and in some places I feel does not make much sense, especially when compared with his biography (his father is described as an honorable man – yet a heavily and violently abusive father and husband). Perhaps it is because we have different conceptions of honor but to me it feels self-contradictory.

The biography suffers from this flaw as well in my opinion. I like the somewhat saga-like manner in which his father and mother met, yet the fact that Kalthar’s mother was a hardened warrior who had defeated his father makes the fact that the man often abused him during marriage baseless. One would expect some sort of reaction from a woman; surely a pact has not devolved her to a shrinking violet. And the biggest flaw is, unless I’ve misread things, that one of timeline. The RP takes place in 4E 202, as the OOC post says, one year after the appearance of the Dragonborn. Yet somehow Kalthar leaves the Companions with the Dragonborn’s appearance and wanders Skyrim for ten years over the course of one year. Kalthar would require extensive reworking to have my approval and with the character limit, he loses my vote.

Peic

I am thankful for both yours and @Hank's criticisms. Trust me when I say they do not fall on deaf ears. When the second round of recruiting comes around, I will present a much better and cohesive sheet for you two. It is, as they say, if at first you do not succeed, try and try again.

The Elder Scrolls: Swords & Septims

7. Kalthar Tarrowhand, @Altered Tundra
I appreciate the amount of effort that went into this character sheet. You were quite descriptive, covered all the important events of Kalthar's life (which is a little excessive in its grimness and tragedy, perhaps), chose a sensible skillset, remained modest with the equipment and many of the elements that make Lord Vensor an interesting character are also a part of Kalthar's personality and history... but it still felt off. Your writing style comes across as a little disjointed. The personality section (for example) restates some facts about his character at least twice, like how he's blunt and speaks his mind, and it isn't apparent why he's a bit of a cunt precisely. His father is described as both honorable and a child-beating asshole in the same sheet and I'm not sure if Kalthar looked up to his father or despised him. The latter seems to be the case with Kalthar leaving him to die and fleeing, which I thought was a great twist, but it doesn't have a believable impact on his character as outlined in the sheet. You describe his motivations as 'vague', which I agree with, but that's not a good thing. As a player and a GM I should be able to divine what is that Kalthar wants out of life, but I don't feel like it's apparent now. When it came down to Vensor and Tarrowhand in the category "prickly guy with heavy armor" we leaned towards the former. He has many of the same characteristics as Kalthar but the execution and the motivation for the flaws are just a bit better. If you straighten these issues out and create a bigger correlation between his history and his personality, Kalthar has the potential to be a very interesting and polarizing character.
PS. Why would General Tullius recognize a lowly soldier?

@Hank

I just wanted to say that I appreciate you giving me some solid advice. There were a few things that I wasn't made aware of before you pointed them out, so I know, going forward, it'll help me present a better sheet.

Also, in hindsight, I guess I could have made a general who was less up the ranks. I didn't think much of it at the time, so maybe that's why it didn't appear as "odd" to me before.

The Elder Scrolls: Swords & Septims

@Applo I can't be the only one bothered by the buff wrestlers acting as if it's the motherfucking Royal Rumble and they got a shot at the title at WrestleMania.

The Elder Scrolls: Swords & Septims

Crooked Young - An Altered Lies Production

---

---

“I'm more than just 'good'--I'm perfection!"” Alexandros corrected her.

Most men might revel in hearing someone as glamorous as Audrey Huntsberg compliment them in their sexual prowess, but Alexandros wasn’t most men. When Audrey had told him he was good, he was actually disappointed. He knew he was better than just ‘good’--fantastic, definitely--but not just good. To him, that hurt more than it helped. It was apparent that he didn’t like what she said, so he simply sighed to express that.

She wanted to keep his ego from getting any larger than what it was already was, but when your ego reached the highest point it already could go, there was no increasing it any further. Then again, Alexandros always did like to defy all expectations. When it came to people thinking he couldn’t get any more arrogant always were proven wrong. They never could estimate how wrong they were about him--especially when it came to bragging about his sexual prowess.

“Allow me to show you,” Alexandros cooly stated, raising the sheets above them. As they say, the rest is history.

Time Stops For Fire(Altered Tundra and Hero)

Jaakuna was more convinced something was up with Emiri than he was before. Perhaps it was a cold or something similar to it, but what he did know was that she wouldn’t leave the bed that he just put her in. Everything that came out of her mouth has been all over the place, not to mention she interrupted her own self not once but twice. She was clearly delusional and Jaakuna had to make sure she would be okay. Though he did find it odd that in less than half of a day, she went from her normal self to...whatever she was right now.

He brought a chair next to the bed and sat in it, eyes on Emiri. As he kept them on her, he saw the reality of her condition. Or whatever you wanted to call it. Her pupils looked a bit wider than usual and as he felt her head, it abnormally hot. It felt so warm that Jaakuna’s cold hand would become positively warm after the fact.

He sighed, leaning back. Jaakuna would go to the bathroom and run a washcloth under some water as he would then come back in less than twenty seconds and fold it into a rectangle and place it on Emiri’s forehead. “Keep it on there; it’ll help you.” He told her, sitting back down and gazing upon her form.

---

During that whole debacle with Emiri acting strangely, the rest of the diners in the Grand Hall were still trying to enjoy their breakfast. Cassandra, at least, seemed unfazed by it, though Savayna couldn’t help but wonder what was up with Emiri. If that was a cold, then Rozarrians sure go through some shit when they’re ill. That caused her to look at Grant, who seemed abnormally pouty this morning. Come to think of it, he was like that most of yesterday too. She didn’t quite understand. Ever since after Zodiark, he had hardly looked at her, not to mention he barely said anything to her last night.

Usually, when Savayna looked at Grant, she would get some kind of reaction from him. As it would appear, however, this was not that case. No comment whatsoever, it was as though he was purposely ignoring her. Now that she thought about it, the last time that they spoke was before all of that shit happened in Archadia--some of which is still fuzzy. She shrugged at that since it didn’t seem to be too important. The only thing she wanted to know was why he practically ignored her.

“You okay? I hope whatever Emiri has isn’t contagious.”

The Elder Scrolls: Swords & Septims

<Snipped quote by Altered Tundra>

Vegeta has died 3 times, just like Yamcha ;)

@POOHEAD189

Yes, but none of those times that Vegeta died was fighting an alien plant monster nor an android with a choking fetish. :]

The Elder Scrolls: Swords & Septims

ALSO, Yamcha > Vegeta, fite me.

@POOHEAD189

I would, but Yamcha already died, so the point is moot.

Time Stops For Fire(Altered Tundra and Hero)

Whilst still on the floor, Jaakuna had attempted to get up but when he did, he would get stepped on by kitchen staff coming and going from the Great Hall to en-route to the kitchen; which from that gave Jaakuna a bad ache going all along his spine and back. Amidst this, he couldn’t help but hear how Emiri was very much unlike herself.

He finally got up and had dusted off any dirty that gathered anywhere on his body. Jaakuna took a seat next to Emiri. Just as he had and attempted to get his food, that’s when he really start to notice that how unlike herself that Emiri was acting. For one, he couldn’t help but notice how loose she seemed to be. It was as if she took a swig of Bangaa Ale and it obviously having a negative effect on her. Though, when she would state it was a simple cold, Jaakuna shrugged. Perhaps that’s what it was since Keiran appeared the same way. He deduced it was a byproduct of how Kei was feeling.

And on that note, Jaakuna went straight for the food. At least he would try to, but Emiri kept acting weirdly; which caused him to take noticed to his beloved. If there was anyone who should’ve noticeed this, it was him. Then again he was asleep by the time he got out of bed, so who was he to notice it before now?

Meanwhile, everyone else tried to enjoy what time remained of their breakfast. Wesley was enjoying his, though after Nadeline offered to heal him, he was going to respond, but Keiran beat him to the punch, then Lorenzo did. A few back and forths were exchanged before Wesley laughed, though it caused a slight discomfort. “Taking Keiran’s crude interpretation aside, I don’t think it’s something that could be healed by magic.” Wesley noted, much to Keiran’s delight. “It’s hard to explain. I ask Hashmal and he says that my body needs to rest. Though, I’m unsure exactly what he means. He’s kept it vague.” Wesley said, appearing bothered by it.

And as Wesley would continue to be bothered by it, emiri definitely was acting even more unlike herself the more time passed. She was acting loopier, her thoughts not all there, and there was an obvious drunk-like quality to her physical movements. Now Jaakuna was paying attention, though Savayna would shake her head as he would make a curious noise with half of a sausage link still in his mouth.

“Try saying that without your mouth full.” Savayna suggested, though not without sounding crass.

As he chomped on the link, he gulped down whatever was still in his mouth. He turned to Emiri, though not without a chastising remark from Nadeline, stating he should’ve noticed this before she got out of bed. “She was already up before I did. Hell, even when I took my shit this morning, I didn’t notice anything odd about her. She seemed relaxed in the tub--”

“Wait, you took a.--while she was..” Savayna wasn’t even going to finish that thought. She simply shook her head, mouthing dumbass under her breath.

As if the universe was sending him a sign, Emiri crossed the point of no return. She had officially been deemed unfit to sit at the table. Though, there was still the fact that she wasn’t exactly being a nuisance to him, so he could let it slide. Besides, he wasn’t finished eating. However, he felt a not-so-gentle nudge from Savayna, practically pushing him off of his seat. He shot her a glare, though he did get the hint.

“Alright Emiri, time to go back to the room.” Jaakuna attempted to grab her. The first try didn’t work, so he went for another and he was able to get her over his shoulder and he started to carry her out. They would walk all the way out of the hall and en-route to their own room.

What a glorious start to the day, wasn’t it?

The Elder Scrolls: Swords & Septims

@Greenie Here is a look at Yamcha's failures.