Avatar of Byrd Man

Status

Recent Statuses

5 yrs ago
Current "I'm an actor. I will say anything for money." -- Also Charlton Heston
7 likes
6 yrs ago
Starting up a preimum service of content from actors like Radcliffe, Day-Lewis, Bruhl, and Craig. Calling it OnlyDans.
3 likes
6 yrs ago
Please, guys. The status bar is for more important things... like cringe status updates.
4 likes
6 yrs ago
Gotta love people suddenly becoming apolitical when someone is doing something they approve of.
4 likes
6 yrs ago
Deleting statuses? That's a triple cringe from me, dog.
4 likes

Bio

None of your damn business.

Most Recent Posts

<Snipped quote by Master Bruce>

So I searched for this in both threads. You are the only one to have ever said this, being quoted by @Hound55 shortly after. I'm going to need you to cease making false accusations, while @Byrd Man may have said something similar he did not say this.


You fail because you only look in two threads. It was my catchphrase back when you were still in your dad's bawbag
I've written myself into a bit of a corner with my current arc, unsure of how to arrive at the ending except to say "And then Captain America beat up all the bad guys and won, and it was totally bitchin'." But I've had the next arc plotted out for weeks now, so as soon as I find a better ending, there should be fast and loose posting soon.

To use a metaphor, I've found myself narratively constipated. Once I take a plot laxative, you guy can expect posting diarrhea.


Here is what I have done if I get in a situation like that: I skip the post all together. Works for me but it may not work for you.
What I'm saying is everybody should come out for Eddie Brock's "Marvel: A New Generation" RPG, coming soon to the Roleplayer Guild only to be swiftly run into the ground with self-insert OCs and people who miss the concept and want to use the classic characters anyway!


1st post: "Can I be Batman?"


Crown Heights
Brooklyn


Misty Knight leaned against the brick wall and tried to catch her breath. A car alarm was blaring from somewhere nearby. A car had tried to take her out and would have succeeded if she hadn’t jumped out the way at the last second. Misty didn’t look back after hearing the car crash into the side of a building, but she had heard the sounds of someone stumbling out of the car and running after her.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, Misty searched for her phone and cursed when she realized she dropped it after ducking out of the car’s way. She had to call Chase and let him know what was going on. They had been wrong about this whole mess. The sound of approaching footsteps drew Misty back into the moment. She pulled out her gun and prepared for who was coming. A white man in a dark suit came around the corner, a glock in his hands. His eyes went wide when he saw Misty standing there with her own gun.

“Drop it,” he commanded. “I’m--”

“FBI,” said Misty. “I know. Agent Lanning, right? I know all about you.”

“Whatever you think you know,” said Lanning. “It isn’t true. And even if it was, who the hell is going to believe a washout ex-cop over an FBI agent? Drop the gun.”

Misty lowered her weapon. Lanning started forward cautiously as she brought it down. She let the gun slip from her hands. Lanning’s eyes darted down as the gun clattered on the ground. That was her opening. Misty lunged forward and grabbed Lanning’s wrist with her right hand. The FBI tried to pull back while Misty drove the palm of her left hand into his eardrum. He cried out in pain while Misty jerked his arm up into the air.

The gun went off three times before Misty could sweep his legs out from under him. Lanning fell hard to the ground. Misty kept the agent’s service weapon trained on him as he looked up at her with angry eyes.

“You’re making a huge fuckup,” said Lanning. “Do you know who I am?”

“A murderer,” said Misty. “That’s who the fuck you are.”

---

US Attorney’s Office
Federal Plaza


Adrian Chase sighed and hung up the phone. Misty’s number kept going to voicemail. He’d already left her a message asking for her to call him back ASAP. Whatever she had found, it sounded important. Chase was fairly certain Misty had managed to find out the truth in her own way. It took Angelo the better part of a half hour to come clean about everything. And it was one hell of a story.

“He’ll see you now.”

Chase gave his thanks to the receptionist and followed her back to the picturesque corner office with the breathtaking view of Manhattan. This time, US Attorney Jack Thomas sat behind his desk. His plastered on smile from last time had been replaced by a curious yet cautious look.

“If you wanted to accept my Queen for a Day offer, Adrian, you could have just called.”

Chase waited until the receptionist had closed the door before he spoke, not even bothering to sit down.

“I want full dismissal of all charges on Angelo.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me very clearly,” said Chase. “Drop the charges or we go to trial and I wreak havoc on your case, Jack. I just spoke with my client and he had some very interesting things to say. Get me in front of a jury and I spin a tail of corruption, sex, and murder. I kick up enough reasonable doubt to at the very least hang a jury and embarrass your office to the public.”

Thomas rapidly stood up from behind his desk and leaned forward, his face rapidly turning red from anger.

“What kind of bullshit is this?”

“Angelo’s girlfriend, Rosa Torres,” said Chase. “I’m sorry, I meant Stephanie Potter. That was her real name, right? Special Agent Stephanie Potter. The name was a fallback identity in case any of Angelo’s mob buddies got fishy about where he was going to and started to look into it. The apartment was paid for with bureau funds and that’s where Angelo and Special Agent Potter met to go over any new intel he had acquired. But then something happened. Angelo’s greasy charms worked on Potter and the facade of being his goomar became a real thing.”

Chase put his hands in his pockets and bounced on his heels, a small self-satisfied smirk on his face.

“Angelo probably got a big thrill out of sleeping with the cop who he was supposed to be handling him. But something went wrong. Another FBI agent, Jon Lanning, grew obsessed with Angelo and Stephanie’s relationship. My client is prepared to testify about Lanning stalking him even though he was a willing informant. I will say, in front of a jury, that this rogue FBI agent, Jon Lanning, killed the truck driver in New Jersey to frame Angelo, and your office went along with it to keep things quiet and preserve your mob case, going so far as to doctor evidence and create probable cause. And then Lanning went further with it and killed Special Agent Potter in a fit of jealousy and to make sure that Angelo had no alibi for the night of the killing in Jersey.”

Chase looked at Thomas’ even redder face. Thomas started to say something, but was interrupted as Chase held his phone up.

“Before you say anything, my PI sent me a message that implies she has evidence that can back up my client’s bold statements.”

“You son of a bitch,” snarled Thomas. “Do you know what those kinds of accusations would do to me and my career? Do you know what that would do to your career, you little piss ant? Not even your father could bring you back out of the deep, dark hole the legal community of New York would throw you down.”

“I’m already in that hole,” said Chase. “I have been since I quit the DA's office, and if you think I’m going to appeal to my dad to save me you are sorely mistaken. I’m going to file a brief and set up an appointment with the US Attorney for the Northern District so that my client can give his testimony to a neutral third party who can investigate his claims.”

“You do this,” said Thomas. “And our case against the Regetti’s is over. Angelo’s testimony will be tainted by his affair with Potter and the accusations against Lanning. That’s a lot of criminals you’re going to leave out on the street. A lot of potential death and mayhem.”

Chase stared out at the view of the city and took a long moment before responding.

“I’d rather take the two-time murderer with a badge off the streets than worry about potential crimes. And the fact that you’d be okay with leaving Lanning were he is in order to protect your case says everything I need to know about you, Jack. Enjoy your nice corner office while you can. I’ll be in touch.”

Chase started to walk out of Thomas’ office, but stopped short when he reached the threshold.

"Oh, and if you need a job please let me know. I still have enough pull at dad's law firm to get you a spot in the mail room."
So on that note then, Who is everyone's respective favourite character? And what run of theirs is your favourite to date?


Jim Gordon, and it's a tie between Year One and how he was portrayed during Snyder's Detective Comics run.
*quietly drags Superman CS out of storage, blows dust off*

What? Oh, I'm just going through my old things. Pay me no mind...


Think you can beat my concept? By day, mild-mannered Clark Kent is a reporter and by night... same fucking guy. No Superman at all.
So I got told I need to reapply. Didn't get through that stage. So if y'all don't mind I'm going to go cry in a corner.


Sorry to hear it, dude. I'm sure you'll get it next time. Also the cry corner is over there. We do charge two bucks per minute though.
<Snipped quote by Byrd Man>

I know y'all ain't gonna talk about Jon Bois and pretend like this video isn't his magnum opus.

Just kidding, I love them all equally. Except the 24 one. That was just eh.


I think the poker one is my favorite. Watching that British dude have a fucking meltdown while that psychopath in sunglasses doesn't move a muscle is amazing.
<Snipped quote by Byrd Man>

Congratulations. You have now graduated from the game and are ready for a real life coaching gig. Your resume has been forwarded courtesy of EA Sports.


"These kids are getting paid damn well! They get a college education for free! You can't beat that."

"So you would coach for free in exchange for a scholarship?"

"Fuck no! I gots to get paid."
<Snipped quote by Byrd Man>

You should see if it's possible to make the games so miserable that the league just fold altogether, like the guy who ran The Death of Basketball.


Yeah I've seen that before. He also has another series, Pretty Good, that's about off-beat (usually) sports stories. Like the cocaine-snorting, Phillie-Phanatic-fighting, GM-murder-plotting, pigeon-toed MLB player.
© 2007-2026
BBCode Cheatsheet