Recent Statuses

12 mos ago
Current Expect weekly replies, anything I post more is a bonus!
1 yr ago
I'm on a quest to bring a locally used forgotten weapon back under the attention of people. How? I'll write a story about it.
1 yr ago
Birch and grass can stop producing pollen now >_<
2 yrs ago
"Jou my dyn hân, jou my dyn hert, asto it doarst mei my. Hjir is myn hân, hjir is myn hert, 'k jou myn bestean oan dy"
2 yrs ago
"Treason, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder."
1 like


Hello everyone. I'm Dutch, a mother of a 4-year old boy and I love both rp-ing and writing.

I started with writing Dutch stories in 2002, I was already 19 at that time. I joined a writing competition and that got me started. Soon I started to write down all the stories my over-active imagination came up with. I had my first forum rp experience in 2003 on a Dutch fantasy forum. While I continued to write, I stopped rp-ing when the particular rp and forum slowly died. In 2011 my love for rp's rekindled when I joined a site with a forum and I started to RP solely in English since that is the language of the site. This is also when I wrote my first story in English.

I've got a few 1x1 rp's going on this site and a couple more an another site. And I love the writing competitions here, I try to join them whenever I can.

I have a bachelor degree in nutrition and dietetics and I have worked as a dietitian / kitchen administrator in a nursing home until I decided to quit to become a full-time mother + writer.

When you come here to check if I'm online, know that even when I show as online I might not be able to respond to PM's or RP's. I open this site so that when I have time I can spend some time here, but I don't always end up with the time to do so.

Most Recent Posts

Andy Bansing

Thanks for clearing that up BrokenPromise.

I too want to reply to the people who reviewed my work so far. And if there are people who read it and couldn't add their review yet, I'd love to know what you thought about it.

First off, a big thank you for everyone who took their time to read the story and review it, your advice will help me improve my writing skills.

@Silver, thank you for the wonderful review, I'm glad you liked it so much. I will go over the story to see if I can find those moments of clumsy syntax and exposition.
I am planning to continue this story and I roughly know what I want to happen, so it's just a matter of finding the time to write it all down.

@PlatinumSkink, thanks for the review. I will read it over again to see if I can make it more interesting, more alive.

@Exit, I sincerely apologize for teasing you like that. In the end I wrote on this story every moment I could, but it wasn't enough time to tell the entire story. I'm glad you enjoyed what I had and I will finish it.
For some reason I saw the prompt and my mind went 'steampunk dwarves, let's write about that'
I agree I didn't give Mikhal really colourful lines, I'll see where I can add a bit more bard-like sentence to avoid that setup and no payoff. And in the future I will be more mindful about the scenes that might serve the bigger story, but are unneeded for the competition.

@BrokenPromise, thank you for reviewing my entry. The story does need a bit more finetuning. I'll definitely have another go at that scene you mentioned.
The story I posted was written as it played out. I didn't plan much of it and I admit I rarely do. I generally just write and the story unfolds, and in this case it lead to some scenes that, in hindsight, weren't needed for the competition or could be condensed.
You'll be glad to hear that I did skip two scenes I came up with, but of which I decided they weren't needed in the story (lemitsa actually taking lady Catheryn to the port city and Lemitsa meeting the thief).
I'll take the advice of a word budget in consideration, but I honestly have no idea on how to guess the amount of words I'll need to properly do a scene or a conversation. As I write I don't pay attention to the word count because I found that hinders the creative flow, but I can look things over afterwards and decide for every scene or every line of dialogue if it's really needed or not.
The discoveries about the steam tech were planned for the second part of the story. The reason for their invasion was mentioned, although not obviously stated, as wanting more coal and needing more water.
They started building mines to mine for more coal. (...) While they didn’t let any human near the coal-mines or any of the factories, they did let the humans gather water for them, which wasn’t as abundant in their own region as it was here.

Bumping this after two years XD

Added some new stuff I'd like to try.
Medieval characters

Mikhal, a travelling bard

Trevor, an ex-military woodguide/mercenary
The three friends

Can be used together or separately

Name: Martha McNally

Alias: Nelly Roselips

Gender: Female

Appearance: Nelly is a bit chubby but looks healthy, there are no visible scars and she has all her teeth. Her eyes are blue and her skin varies from pale to tanned, depending on the season and how much time she spend outside. She has blonde hair with a faint reddish hue in it, which she keeps in a long braid.
Her clothes are fairly simple: when she’s at home she wears what other Scottish woman wear and on sea she wears a long-sleeved shirt and trousers because that’s easier. Her clothes change depending on the season or the area they're in, in warm weather she wears a linen shirt, in cold weather she'll wear a woollen coat over her shirt and woollen trousers.

Equipment: She always wears a golden pendant in the shape of a rose. She carries a knife with a rosewood handle in her belt at all time and owns a rapier that she only takes with her when she joins on off-boat mission.
Position on the pirate ship: Cook

Skills: Cooking, knitting, sewing, basic farming skills, basic butcher skills, reading, writing, sword fighting, hand-to-hand combat.

Weaknesses: Afraid of snakes

Special characteristics: Loves roses. She has a pendant in the shape of a rose which she often kisses before battle for good luck. Her husband always offers her a rose when she leaves on a journey and as the ship sets sail she’ll kiss it and throw it overboard. That’s what earned her nickname.

Family: Nelly is the daughter of a Scottish pirate boatswain and a Norwegian farmer’s daughter. Her father fell in love with her mother when he had come ashore for supplies with a small crew. He spent his next shore-leave in the same place and the more time they spend together, the more they loved each other. Eventually he asked her to marry him, she agreed and moved to the northern part of Scotland with him.
The couple had several children, only three made it passed the age of four. Nelly was the middle of the surviving children, her brothers are six years older and four years younger.
At the age of fourteen she fell in love with the son of a butcher, they married when she was seventeen.
They have two children, aged 4 and 1, when she chooses the pirate life. Her husband supports this decision, taking care of their children and the butcher shop with his sister when Nelly is at sea.

History: Nelly grew up in a small house at the outskirts of a village on the north-coast of Scotland. Even though her father brought back plenty of money, they lived a simple life. Nelly learned from an early age to work in the garden, to cook, to knit and to sew, because she was the only daughter of the family. She helped taking care of her younger brother, but also played with her older brother who loved her deeply.
When her father was home he taught her older brother and her how to defend themselves with a sword, her aunt had died because she couldn’t, and her father didn’t want that to happen to her.
At the age of twelve she was send to the city to attend school, like her brother before her. Her father had saved most of the money he had earned on the pirate ship for this purpose. She attended a girl’s school there for two years, to learn to read and write in English, something her mother never learned to do, and the basics of biology, geology and calculus.
In her second year a butcher opened his shop on the city, having moved there from the countryside. Nelly fell in love with his son, but went home when her second year of education came to an end.
She continued to live there and travelled to the city at least once per month to visit her lover. When he proposed she accepted and she moved in with him.
As she lived and worked in the butcher shop, she often longingly looked at the sea, where her father works. He had often told her stories about his adventures and she had always wanted to go with him.
After giving birth to her second child, she told her husband she wanted to join a pirate crew. Her husband already knew about her father being a boatswain on a pirate vessel and it didn’t come as a surprise. He gave her his blessing and she promised to return to him and their children every shore-leave she had, like her father had done too.
She boarded her fathers ship and served as a cook. The captain didn’t believe in the superstition that a woman on board would bring bad luck. The men soon learned she wouldn’t accept any inappropriate behaviour and when a rival group of pirates attacked she fought alongside with them, earning their respect.

Here are my reviews. I didn’t actively check any of the stories for grammar mistakes, but if I caught some I will mention it. Generally I review the story as a whole, what impact it had on me as a reader, what I liked, what I didn’t like, things that were confusing, etc.








I read all the entries, I will post my reviews in the voting and critique thread soon. Tomorrow, or maybe the day after.
This will be for all my RP characters.

List is not complete yet :)
Timezones can be confusing like that.
I must admit I was unsure what the exact deadline was in my timezone, so I made sure to finish my final correction round on the 27th and posted it that evening, just before going to bed. A good thing too, because the 28th we had visitors over :)

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