Never mention The Dark Knight Rises in my presence, though. I will enter a fugue state of rage that frankly embarasses me.
B-but you're a big guy.
E: goddammit I just double posted instead of editting this into my last post fucking shit
Captain Uni
Member
The Artist Formerly Known As Simple Unicycle
STATUS: The bugs are back. 8 days ago
- Last Seen: Online
- Joined: 11 yrs ago
- Posts: 2002 (0.52 / day)
- VMs: 3
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Username history
- Captain Uni 7 mos ago
- ███████████████ 11 yrs ago
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Latest 10 profile visitors:
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Most recent →
DocTachyon,
xVampire3go,
Antlers,
Lugubrious,
Lord Wraith,
Eddie Brock,
Memoria,
Anciek,
Sep,
Supermaxx
Status
Recent Statuses
8 days ago
Current
The bugs are back.
1
like
2 mos ago
If this watch breaks, the foreign exchange market will take a twenty-eight percent hit. People will die.
5 mos ago
bro aren't you 15 go do your homework instead of screaming about your WIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
6
likes
5 mos ago
"No. This is somewhere to be. This is all you have, but it's still something. Streets and sodium lights. The sky, the world. You're still alive."
4
likes
6 mos ago
Thеy needed a stealth soldier, so I put my hands on the hibachi hot plate at Benihana and burned my fuckin fingerprints off. They will not find me.
2
likes
Bio
Absolute clown. Dark and gritty superhero fan fiction guaranteed or your money back.
Most Recent Posts
B-but you're a big guy.
E: goddammit I just double posted instead of editting this into my last post fucking shit
<Snipped quote by Byrd Man>
long story short I had a lot of other shit going on the last few weeks and I can't spare the time to sift through this huge of an OOC on the daily. because of that, I lost confidence in keeping up with the overarching plot, and am most likely going to be dropping participation. Nothin' personal, RPG's just too big for me lol
Aw man, sad to see you go dude.
I guess that we all have our dirty little secrets...
like how i have my own that i don't want revealed because y'all would roast my ass alive if you learned what it was
... Is your secret that you actually, seriously like the Schumacher Batman movies?
<Snipped quote by Simple Unicycle>
Greatest superhero film ever.
BREAKING NEWS: Lord Wraith kicked from the RP.
<Snipped quote by Inkarnate>
Don't worry, I'll keep your love for the Catwoman movie to myself.
Your secret is safe with me.
It's okay, Wraith, you don't need to keep saying other people like shitty superhero flicks to bury your own guilt; we all know you love Batman and Robin, and we accept you for who you are.
*holds back an engraged Master Bruce*
Well, since I relieved my fourth wall breaking desires in my last post, with this one it's back to our regularly scheduled program.
9:13 PM; July 9th, 2018
Lawrence 'Squid' Loman's House; New York City
The reason they called him Squid was a funny story.
It was his first time dumping a body into the sea. Everything went as planned, they drove the body out there in a duffel bag filled with bricks, and tossed it into the water... And just as they did so, a squid popped out, and got hit in the head by the bag. It was a strange, surreal once in a lifetime event. God only knew why that squid was so close to the docks, why it came out of the water, and why it decided to wait until a bag was about to hit him in the face to pop out. The guys started calling him 'Squidkiller', which eventually just got shortened to Squid, and the name stuck. Everyone called him by the name now, even the ones who had never heard the story.
"Ey Squid?" Squid was pulled out of his recollections by the voice of Eddie, one of Silvermane's grunts. For some reason the old man was putting a lot of guards with the important members of his outfit. Squid had to feel a bit flattered that he was considered by the big boss to be important. It had something to do with that psycho cop that's going around and cutting them all down. Bah, that guy didn't know what was coming to him. Whether it was the cops, them, or that Spiderchick, he'd be put down soon enough.
"Yeah? What is it?"
"The cameras is down. Don't know what happened to 'em."
Furrowing his brow, Squid got up, following Eddie to the camera room. All the monitors showed static and red letters reading "NO CONNECTION". "What the fuck? What happened to 'em?"
"I already says, I dunno what happened to 'em, but it ain't good. I'm thinkin' someone cut the power to 'em or somethin'."
"Well then go and fix 'em!"
"Right, boss." With those words, Eddie went outside to reconnect the power to the cameras. Squid sat nervously in the room, staring at the monitors. If the cameras were down, that meant something screwy was going on. Maybe that Punisher guy was a serious threat after all. Bah, he's being too paranoid. Something probably happened with the fuses or something.
Everything would be alright.
One of the cameras came back on, the one nearest the power box. And all that Squid saw was the corpse of Eddie, a large red smile along his throat. "W-what the fuck?!"
The camera went out again. Then, the lights.
Muffled gunshots rang outside, punctuated by the screams of his men as they died. The gunfire lasted for a minute or two, before all was silent. Slowly, Squid reached for his gun...
"You can run on, for a long time... Run on for a long time... Run on for a long time..."
Singing... "The fuck?"
"Sooner or later God'll cut you down... Sooner or later God'll... Cut you down..."
Where the hell was it coming from? "Cut that out, you crazy bastard!"
"Go tell that long tongued liar... Go and tell that midnight rider... Tell the rambler, the gambler, the backbiter..."
Squid fired his gun off, shouting, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"Tell them that God's gonna cut them down... Tell them that God's gonna cut them down."
"WHERE ARE YOU!?"
"Behind you."
Squid's last words were a series of gurgled screams.
ISSUE #7
PART ONE
FROM THE SHADOWS
PART ONE
FROM THE SHADOWS
Honestly, the only reason I did that Big-Lipped Alligator Moment of a dream sequence was because I've been replaying the first Max Payne game way too fucking much and wanted to reference the almost identical dream sequence in it. Probably won't ever happen again in any of my future posts. Probably being the key word.
E: ... This is in response to the whole 'fourth wall' thing in case it wasn't obvious.
E: ... This is in response to the whole 'fourth wall' thing in case it wasn't obvious.
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT YOUR RELIGIONS AND BELIEFS AND UNDERSTANDING OF HOW THE WORLD WORKS......
BA-DUM-TSHHHH! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, I'LL BE HERE ALL NIGHT! TRY THE VEAL!
... Well I walked right into that one I suppose.
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, "TIME" IS A CONSTRUCT ONLY EXPERIENCED BY THE WRIGGLING MEAT-THINGS IN THIS SQUALID MESS OF BOTCHED PHYSICS IN ORDER TO MONITOR THEIR ONGOING DECAY. SO REALLY, TO ANY BEING OUT THERE THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS, YOUR POST HAPPENED BEFORE, AFTER, AND DURING MINE. TO THEM, IT HAPPENS ACROSS EVERY POINT ACROSS THE SPAN OF INFINITY AND ALSO NEVER HAPPENED AT ALL! THEY WON'T READ IT, HAVE ALREADY READ IT, ARE READING IT RIGHT NOW, AND WILL ALWAYS BE READING IT!
UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU, THEY'RE REAL STICKLERS ABOUT GRAMMAR!
To quote my own post,
It was a bad line and a prank call, someone spouting insane babble, I couldn't make sense of it.
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