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2 hrs ago
Current Share your RPG experiences here! (starus repost because typo)…
1 like
11 hrs ago
I honestly should stop pushing the people I love away when I'm in a state like this...
15 days ago
No alarms and no surprises please.
1 like
16 days ago
Happy to say I've finally set a game plan for the next few years. All that's left now is to keep steady on my path.
17 days ago
Feeling a lot better now. Reached out and reconnected to a few old friends~


If you're here because I viewed you, I admittedly just like clicking people on the status bar randomly.

Most Recent Posts

<Snipped quote by Cu Chulainn>
Hey Cu Chulainn,

I don't know you personally and I don't think I've ever really roleplayed with you before, but I'd like to thank you for making this post. I'd especially like to thank you for talking about your issues with alcohol and writing, because I suspect its a something more common on this site than some might believe.

I've had a similar issue at one point when I was really struggling with writers block both in my personal life when writing for fun, and in my professional life when I was trying to write for academic journals. When you're sat there trying to get blood from a stone on a piece of work you know you need to finish and it just won't come, there's a terrible temptation to try and 'loosen up' just to get something to flow. To get something, anything, you can work with.

This might not seem like a problem when its a beer or two, or a glass of wine. But when you realise you're working on probably the most important piece of your career so far, something that is going to be peer reviewed and published, and you are flat out drunk - then you might have a problem. I think I certainly did a few years ago.

Thankfully, I don't do that anymore. I still drink, but only socially. Never by myself, and never when I'm working.

Anyway, thank you for opening up and sharing. I'm glad that this site has been able to help you, and teach you some things about yourself.

Thanks for your response. To be honest, I was worried about including my issues with alcohol here for a variety of reasons. For one, I didn't want it to be seen as an excuse since I've had, and will always take responsibility for my actions while under the influence. It almost didn't feel appropriate for the post context, but I decided to add it after all as it has affected a couple major moments during my time here. Seeing your response, I'm glad I've decided to add it in the end and I'm happy there more people I can relate to for this issue.

The issue of using alcohol to help ease the mind to get to work is definitely a relatable issue for me. It hasn't only plagued me in writing, but also social situations as well. For writing specifically, though, I've had issues where I would disconnect with the character I've written, and only a stiff drink can really get the gears turning to write for him. I've had to leave roleplays due to that habit.

In any case, thank you for sharing your experience with alcohol as well. What hit especially hard was the realization of being drunk while writing something career-breaking. I've gone through a similar event, though not as extreme, and at the very least it ended up better than expected. I'm glad that me sharing this bit about myself was able to resonate with you, moreso that you had your own experiences to share as well.
I totally forgot to add this, but if anyone wants to write their own experiences out, that would be awesome! I'd love to hear how others have beem influenced by The Guild, or at least roleplaying in general.
EDIT: I forgot to add this to the main post, but please feel free to share your experiences on RPG, or with roleplaying, if you wish to!

I want to preface this by saying I'm not quite sure where to post this. I don't think it's necessarily spam, at the very least. I did want this to be in a place where it can be seen with others, I interact with, at the very least. I'm mainly writing this since I'm currently going through a very rough patch, and I feel like writing about my feelings and experiences gives me a sense of catharsis from emotional turmoil. That said, I have a hard time writing and expressing my own emotions, so I hope I don't sound too full of myself writing all this. Feel free to criticize me on any of my points if I do sound like my head's too far up my ass or anything.

I also want to put a warning here that I will be discussing a few of my own personal issues in some depth. My intention isn't to start a pity party over myself, or to make excuses for any of my past actions. I'm just using this to rationalize many of the things that have influenced my experiences here and in life, both good and bad.

As far as introductions go... Hi, a few of you know me as Cu. I'm a 21 year-old kid in Guam trying (and at this point in time, currently failing) to grow up. I started roleplaying about 8 or 9 years ago, in middle school. I started roleplaying because it allowed me to explore who I was and who I wasn't, and it allowed me to see and understand different points of view from a vast assortment of characters. Most of all, it allowed me to be someone more important, more social, and more dynamic than I am in real life. Due to past traumas in my childhood, I've had a hard time trusting people face-to-face, and I kept myself secluded from others because of this. Roleplaying gave me a medium to interact and build my trust in others, and while I still have a hard time getting close to others on a personal level, I can say that roleplaying has made me much more comfortable, even confident, in my real life social interactions.

I started RPG about 4 years ago. While this wasn't my first forum roleplaying experience, it was the one that taught me mostly everything about it. I originally came from more live forms of roleplaying, namely tabletop-lites through mediums such as Skype, so the slower pace and larger writing material was something I needed to get used to. Another reason why I started was due to my weird timezone and my difficulty adapting to it properly. As I said, I live in Guam, which makes it harder to communicate with most others on the western hemisphere, as my Saturday afternoons happen to be the Friday evenings of those I generally roleplay with. In other words, it really was my one way of keeping up with a hobby I enjoy doing viably so.

My first year or so in RPG wasn't the best. I was still getting used to the format and slow pace, which made me flakier as a result. A lot of it comes from my lack of motivation, my very very poor time management skills, as well as worrying if my writing or the characters I create are even good enough. While I still have issues being flaky now, it was for certain much worse long ago, and some of the few people who have known me from the start can confirm. In any case, I definitely felt out of place for a while, especially seeing as this site is more than a decade old.

I started to really find my stride around my second year here. I made a bunch of really great friends, many of whom I still talk with today, who made it easier and more comfortable for me to adapt and write with. I also grew more confident as a result of this, writing at greater lengths than I did before, and improving upon my consistency. It was at that point I actually felt like I had a love for writing. Ever since then, I've started to write more consistently than before, and while I don't see myself as anyone particularly big in the community, I could really say I had finally found my place in RPG's community.

Writing here has made me realize a lot about myself as a person. For one, it made me realize how deep my interpersonal issues are, and how dependent I can become on people I get close to. I have a hard time really getting close to others, and I end up clinging to those who I resonate with the most, trying sometimes too hard to be as much of an influence to them as they are to myself. I've confided to these people about many of my personal issues, but I've also been selfish with them in many different ways, using them to vent out my own frustrations. While a few of them stuck around with me despite this, I have regrettably lost a number of good friends because of these tendencies. It's because of this that I realized it's probably for the best that I kept my distance when it comes to others more, and that I should confide and be comfortable by myself more instead of depending on the good will of other people.

Another thing I've realized about myself from my experiences here is my issues with alcohol, which is a weird tangent for sure. While I am not at a point where I would be considered an alcoholic just yet, I do realize I've grown more dependent on it to feel more comfortable with my writing. I'm sure those who communicate with me regularly can easily tell when I'm drinking or not. I know for sure I do have a problem with drinking, as while it has helped me write much more often than I normally do, it has also caused me to act more impulsively with others, saying and doing things I would not do with a clear mind. It's because of this revelation that I've more or less resigned to stop drinking regularly, especially when I feel like I need it to write better.

Finally, the biggest revelation I've had was how little I am confident in my own decisions. Perhaps my biggest issue when it comes to roleplaying is writing out characters. I tend to app multiples at once, and I have a hard time deciding which ones are better to play. I have a hard time staying consistent with my characters, and while I used to believe this was due to me just easily getting bored, I realized a lot of this is due to me not being confident in myself. In life, I've made much more mistakes than I have accomplishments, and I get too hung over even the smallest discrepancies I made. It's because of this that I get too consumed in making the perfect character, not in terms of overall capability, but in terms of how they'd fit into the story and narrative the best. While I still definitely have issues making decisions both in roleplay and in real life, I can say for sure that roleplaying has helped me identify them for the future, and that I've been improving more on my consistency.

I've had so many positive experiences both on this site and out of it with the people I've made friends with over the years. They have helped me realized the things I like and dislike on a personal level, and have made me much more comfortable with my interests, many of which I would have been ashamed to share before. Whether it's collaborating on an interesting character dynamic or actually having a pal to play vidya games with, I'm definitely thankful for many of the friends I've made here. If any of you are reading this, I do hope we could continue writing together in the future! A few of you have been with me through my worst, and I appreciate you all putting up with me because of it. I know I'm bad at complimenting others, so I hope this bit of appreciation could suffice. Maybe I'll even write a gush post later, lol.

There have also been a few bad experiences, as well. For one, my consistency still has issues in certain places to a point where I still don't think I can properly run a roleplay on my own. I also tend to flake out and post at irregular intervals from time to time due to my lack of time management, although that is something I can say I've definitely improved on as of late. Finally, while I have made many friends here, there are also a few bridges I've burned due to my own issues. To those that I have wronged that are reading this and that have stuck around to this point, I want to say thank you for reading what I have to say, and that I truly am sorry to have given you the worst of myself.

That's all I have to say, really. If you've made it this far, I guess congratulations are in order; You stuck through my selfish little tirade and now you know a little bit more about me. I just want to thank you for reading this through to the end, whether you're a close friend, an acquaintance, or just someone passing by. I can say for sure that I feel a bit better writing this out, but only time will tell if I really would regret this or not. As always, I'm open to comments, criticisms, and anything else. Thank you one last time for putting up with me, and I hope you all have a wonderful day.

HP 575/575 SP 368/368 MP 410/410

Lew looked at Calace's talisman creation curiously. The process was quite interesting, although Lew wondered how permanent talismans would be crafted if the economy was as simple as this. If there are no materials required to make talismans, then would this potentially crash the economy? Things such as these were an interesting thought, with Lew considering just how it would be like once he became an Exorcist, or even a Kekkaishi. For a brief moment, he considered whether or not it was good he went Warrior instead of Mage first. Their party, after all, had more pure melee fighters than it did mages.

Taking the talisman from Calace, Lew soon realized why these talismans were so easy to make in bulk. Slapping himself with the [Restraining Rite] Talisman a few times, Lew frowned to see that the talismans, in fact, did not work as intended. Sighing, Lew handed Calace the talisman back, crestfallen that he was unable to utilize the talisman on himself. It seems that this will continue to be a money sink until he could become an Exorcist.

"A shame, but oh well. It could be good to make some extra talismans for where we're going, though, especially if we're unable to find ourselves a third member..." Lew stated, before walking over to the quest boards. Surely, there was someone looking for a tank and a healer to join them. That's how MMORPGs worked, right? No one plays tanks and healers, so they had more priority when it came to party finding?

After a bit of thought, an idea came about to Lew's mind as he turned to Calace.

"Maybe we should get a job with one of these merchants going to the Mora-Sho. That way, we can understand their inner workings, and perhaps even convince some other members on the job to sack and betray the merchants in the end. At the very least, we get money and experience for doing the job, and we could find some allies on the way. What do you think of that?"
Interested! So to clarify, we'll be playing as something similar to Demi-Servants, albeit with the possessed individual taking the forefront over the Heroic Spirit being utilized?

HP 575/575 SP 368/368 MP 410/410

Sighing, Lew thought more about their current task at hand, particularly what it would entail. While Lew was open to helping Calace out, joining the Gaku-Rei was another question entirely. He would be on the clan's good graces for sure, but he's also worried they might take his help as something that shows him officially joining their ranks as well, given their disorganized nature. There also seemed to be the issue of his relations with the Mora-Sho. It seemed that many of their group was planning to join that faction given their Discord conversations, so that's another conflict to consider.

"Quite the predicament you've gotten yourself into, huh?" Lew exhaled, crossing his arms. "Well, between our gears and our levels, it's likely we aren't at any match to do some banditry just yet. Perhaps we should try to grab a quest and max out our classes first before anything? I don't even have a good enough weapon, yet."

Lew looked down at little Calace once more, thinking about her current class as well, and what it could do. He did some reading on Mikos briefly on CCC given their connection with the other classes given at the Shin-Yu Temple.

"By the way... Are your talismans capable of being used by other parties, or yourself only? If you have any to spare I can use, I can certainly make good use of it." Lew stated, showing off the capabilities of his Nuclei. As he had cycled through the items in his Nuclei, he held the kodachi once more. Ari came to mind again, and Lew wondered where she could be, or if he should reach out to her first and foremost...

... Nah. He's already carrying this midget.

"Maybe we should look for someone who could do DPS for us, or at least someone who may know what merchants we can hit up the easiest. That actually reminds me, but I do know a gang nearby, might have an idea on their hideout. If we're already doing petty banditry, it wouldn't hurt if we went on and joined some organized crime, wouldn't it?"

Lew chuckled, clearly joking. If it was clear to Calace whether or not he was joking wasn't up to him, however.
Misty Temple

"The Illuminator's protection? Ah, so the same being had visited you, as well?" Malphas asked Soyala curiously. In truth, this feels like a path Malphas has once again been forced to take by beings far above him. It was annoying, but at the same time understandable to a mam of faith such as himself. Of course, Malphas was used to being on the other side of things as far as he was concerned, but this was before he had known such wonders existed... And besides, he was not a true man of faith until moments before his demise.

Instead of questioning Soyala further on her aims or why she's helping him, Malphas will take advantage of the assistance he was given instead. Evaluating her strengths as well as his own capabilities, it was clear as day just how these two would operate. It's because of this that instead of knocking a few arrows and firing at the animals nestled within the mists, Malphas instead procured the stone given to him by the hag from last night.

Malphas kissed the stone before he knelt down in prayer, his eyes closed as he clutched the stone tightly and dearly.

"O, Illuminator... If it is you who has put this path before me, then allow me to bear your light. I wish not to use the knowledge you bestow upon others for my own gain, but instead to enlighten those wayward souls with your omniscient light. O, Illuminator, I ask of thee to grant me your light, and name your Torchbearer."

Without opening his eyes, Malphas pulled a single arrow from his quiver, raising it to the temple as offering.

"Please accept this meager piece of tinder as an offering, as a vessel to receive your spark of knowledge! Allow me to bear the flames of knowledge, so that I may enlighten those within the confines of your sacred grounds, so that they may be liberated from the boundaries of the mind!"

And so, Malphas picked up his bow once more, knocking the very same arrow back as he aimed in an arc. He tapped into the spark within his soul once more, envisioning the same bright light that he had once before. Except instead of a blinding white light, it was a warm, orange one... In other words, Malphas sought to set his arrowhead ablaze. No matter how big or small the fire would end up being did not matter, for Malphas had faith. Faith that his shot would hit true, faith that his arrow will set afire brilliantly, and faith that the Illuminator has guided him to this very moment.

"The others who have gotten here first... You mentioned a reject among them, yes? So they would not be missed? And as for this temple... You said it was simply a trap by the one who had built it? This would also mean that someone must be given the duty to trap those who would tread too far in?"

Malphas asked these two questions to Soyala coldly, without turning away from the temple. He smirked slightly.

"I do hope that flower I'm tasked to find grows just far enough from the temple, itself."

Malphas released the arrow, aiming for the temple itself. Whether the temple would be set ablaze, or their path would simply be illuminated meant little to Malphas, as he was filled with conviction. Conviction that he was not given this bow to draw blood from others, but instead to pave the path ahead with a single arrow. In his mind, he envisioned himself atop a white steed, bringing Conquest to this wayward land, just as the goddess who had spawned him wished... and riding off behind him, atop a red steed, was his trusted lieutenant, encased in armor and wielding a sword. Today is the day Malphas would see if he would learn the identity of the one who would ride alongside him.

"The way has been illuminated. Cut down those blasted animals and whoever else stands in our path... but allow them the chance to submit while they can. Do this, in my name."

Malphas ordered Soyala, his voice filled with confidence in her ability. He clutched the stone tightly, slinging his bow on his shoulder and procuring his dagger as he marched forward. Whatever treacherous beings that laid in the fog, Malphas was not afraid, for he had a purpose. This was where he was supposed to be, after all... This path was made for him. And there was only one thing in his mind that he was concerned about.

Now where could I find that blasted flower?

The wolf cleaved through the varied corpses with ease, almost looking pleased with itself as it carved its way through the blight's forces. With tooth and claw, it slashed and gnashed its way through the various undead that was in its way, leaving not but decaying flesh in its wake. The combined efforts of the party lead to the lesser blights being torn apart with ease. The only issue was the tree blight itself, who chucked various corpses at the party as a means to deter them.

The spectral wolf, taking advantage of its ethereal form, surged forth towards the corpse on its way. Using its ephemeral body as a way to block it from crushing its compatriots, the wolf sacrificed itself as it took the brunt of the tree blight's counterattack, its hardy body taking the blow directly. As it faded away, it glared at Khol once more, growling as if it expected its host to act once more.

I've distracted it already. Stand, weakling. Prove to your allies you're more than dead weight. Prove to them you're more than just fuel for the fire!

Almost instinctively, Khol's eyes fluttered open as his wolf spirit faded away. They almost seemed to burn with the same silver flame that came from the tattoo on his chest, filled with determination. It seemed that no matter what, a drive filled the man, one that wasn't truly displayed from his reticence earlier. Khol clutched his blade tightly as he went onto one knee, observing the situation before him closely. It seems the lesser blights were already taken care of, and only the tree blight was something his team needed to worry about. Grunting to himself, Khol leapt into action!

Once more, the spectral wolf appeared, although the damage it accumulated from the blight's last onslaught still remained apparent. Still, it served as a stepping stone for Khol, not needing to be manifested for more than a moment due to Koth's assistance. As Khol charged forward, he leapt up, using his spiritual wolf as a stepping stone as he raised his blade upward. The wolf dissipated, filling its required role, as Khol raised his blade high. Slashing his blade down, he aimed to bisect the blight from the head down, slashing through as much as he can.

can i app arjuna rider
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