Dolerman

Video Games: The General Discussion & Community Thread

I suppose this is old news at this point, but Laura Bailey got death threats for her role as VA for Abby in TLOU2. This is really disgusting. It doesn't matter how much one dislikes TLOU2 or Abby, nothing justifies harassing someone simply for being her voice actor.

@Crimson Paladin

Nothing really excuses 'hating' a collection of pixels IRL anyway. It's ignorant childish behaviour from people who spend too long on youtube, and not enough time playing the games they are critiquing.

But more importantly, you've given me yet another excuse to talk about Abby, so let's just appreciate her face model Jocelyn Mettler (who also received harassment but not death threats).

Felt cute, might brutally murder some seraphites later, idk

Video Games: The General Discussion & Community Thread

But, I am gonna play Tsushima in an hour so let's see if it's good. Tho, I heard the lip-sync for the Japanese dub is pretty bad.

@Mao Mao

I'm playing it with the english dub and in full colour, because I'm uncultured western swine who doesn't respect nippon steel.

Video Games: The General Discussion & Community Thread

It was short, but it hurt to read. Not 1/100th as much as an Earnest Cline poem (which hurts mind, body and soul), but you get the idea.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here

Nerd Porn Auteur

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies

that are made for guys like me.

All the porn I've come across

was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males

Men who like their women stupid and submissive

Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos

with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected

liposuctioned women

Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation

in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.

And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.

These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.

They disgust me.

And it's not that I'm against pornography.

I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.

Fact.

"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"

Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.

I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:

Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world

is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,

I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:

Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.

Oh yes.

First I want to copy her Trig homework,

and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her

for hours and hours

until she reluctantly asks if we can stop

because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.

Summa cum laude, baby!

That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?

No.

Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.

I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.

And the women in my porno movies will be the kind

that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.

The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.

Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.

Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses

and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.

My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.

They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and

beat them repeatedly at chess

and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle

or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies

because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.

There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren

of all sexual orientations.

Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This idea is a fucking gold mine.

I am gonna make millions,

because this country is full of database programmers

and electronics engineers

and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.

And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,

and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,

then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.

It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.

You are beautiful. . .

And I will make you a star.

Video Games: The General Discussion & Community Thread

That's one meaty paragraph.

Video Games: The General Discussion & Community Thread

<Snipped quote by Dolerman>

Even fans of Assassin's Creed will tell you that Assassin's Creed is more derivative than not. This is more like Sucker Punch doing a Second Son all over again.

@Fabricant451

Second Son had interesting ideas but was just sort of unpolished, which makes it the direct opposite of 90% of AC games.

I only expect Ghost to be better than something like Oddessy, which should make it just bearable enough to tide me over until Wasteland 3

Video Games: The General Discussion & Community Thread

By the sounds of reviews Ghost of Tsushima is one of those 'boy it looks pretty but boy its design is archaic' games woop woop.

@Fabricant451

And who says Assassin's Creed isn't influential?

The last of us 2 is still relevant? I found this video interesting. It's 30 minutes long but is both a good watch and doesn't treat TLOU2 as a masterpiece nor does it claim the whole thing is shit.

Also, spoilers.

Hider

@BrokenPromise

Until Cyberpunk 2077, Tlou2 is going to be the last 'big game' out, (that crappy avengers game don't count) so yeah it kinda is.

Anyone who thought Tlou2 OR 1 was a 'masterpiece' probably only consumes video games and reddit-approved b-movies as a story telling medium. What Tlou2 was an interesting highly polished stealth murder game with very good voice acting, noting more, nothing less.

Video Games: The General Discussion & Community Thread

Could always dust off the old Tenchu PS2 games.

@Inkarnate

The PS2 Tenchu titles are dusty for a reason.

Video Games: The General Discussion & Community Thread

I can't wait to start burning down copy/paste villages in For Honor: Shadow of War

I also can't wait for Hyperscape, it combines the super original setting of a virtual MMO world in corporate dystopia along with the super original first person shooter battle royale genre. What will they think of next?

Seriously though if Ghost of Tsushima doesn't scratch my Tenchu itch then I'm going to have to force myself to get excited for paper mario or some shit.

Video Games: The General Discussion & Community Thread

Okay finally finished TLOU2

We need more gritty fights in shallow water, not just in games but in media in general.

Abby is best girl and I love everything about her.

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Far Cry 6 looks like a great movie and I can't wait to watch it on netflix

2011 called and they want Watchdogs Legion back...but they said you can keep the unforgivably bad mary poppins british accents.

Video Games: The General Discussion & Community Thread

If you can tolerate anything about playing Deadly Premonition, then then framerate aint gonna scare you off.

In other news Wasteland 3 can't come soon enough because everything else looks ass.