Ellri

[Abandoned] Astra Mink - Runaway

ok. It'll be reviewed soonish.

[Approved] Nimm Deenia, Sith Apprentice

OoC

How long do you usually write?
Several paragraphs
Do you enjoy writing collaborative posts for things like conversations, combat, etc.?
Yes
Is grammar and depth of writing important to you?
Yes
Are there any writing subjects you particularly enjoy exploring?
Nuances of the Light and Dark sides, of twisting the minds of Jedi.
Is there anything you really dislike and want to avoid like the plague? Mary Sues.
Is there something you are uncomfortable with happening to your character? Nope
Do you have any short-term or long-term goals with this character?
Turning Life for the Jedi into Death for the Jedi.

Imperial personnel files

Name: Nimm Deenia
Species: Imperial Human
Pureblood percentage: 11%
Homeworld: Dromund Kaas
Age: 62 (looks 25)
Gender: Female
Rank: Sith Apprentice (Archaeologist)
Master: Darth Nyiss
Former master(s): Lord Arkanus
Apprentice(s):
Sphere of influence: Ancient Knowledge, Mysteries

Imperial Intelligence Reports

_{Detailed appearance. Imagery insufficient.}

The Subject, one of Darth Nyiss’ apprentices, is outwardly 100% imperial human. She stands 171 cm tall and weighs around 66.7 kgs, all within normal parameters. Further investigation has revealed something odd. Old recordings and images from many years ago showing her looking exactly the same, when she should only have been an infant. The truth of this has proven impossible to find out. There is no evidence of physical degradation from overuse of the Force.

An in-depth investigation into recordings as well as a field study has revealed that the subject is fairly predictable in her preferences for clothing. She almost universally wears black, knee-length sith robes while in the empire, or practical more neutral clothes if she is outside imperial borders for some reason or other and needs to obscure her imperial ties.

She has a preference for the practical clothes suitable for whatever climate she finds herself in. Though simple in appearance, investigation revealed that the quality is top-notch. Any appearance of being tattered or worn is by design. She generally has a wide black leather belt with her lightsaber and tools on it, as well as combined half-gloves/bracers on both arms that appear technological in origin, but whose functionality is undetermined. Rumors persist that her hands are covered in hairline scars that stem from traps, but as she always wears those gloves, that has not been possible to verify.

Nimm

_{Report on natural ability with the Force, as well as all known Force Techniques and the skill level.}

Covert field study has revealed that the subject is particularly proficient with the Force, but appears to limit herself to certain techniques, in spite of the fact that evidence implies she has both the raw power and experience to use far more advanced techniques. No amount of investigation has brought to light why. Below is an estimate of the subject’s skill levels with most techniques of the Force.

Basic Techniques

• Force Speed - Intermediate Training
• Telekinesis - Master Talent
• Force Throw - Expert Training
• Force Choke - Expert Talent
• Telekinetic Defense - Expert Talent
• Telepathic Defense - Intermediate Training
• Force Sight (basic) - Intermediate Training
• Force Sense - Intermediate Talent
• Precognition - Intermediate Training
• Mind trick - Intermediate Training
• Force Jump - Expert Training

Intermediate Techniques

• Force lightning - Expert Talent
• Detoxify Poison - Basic Training
• Droid Disable - Basic Talent
• Breath control - Basic Training
• Force Stasis - Intermediate Talent

Advanced Techniques

• Force Cloak - Basic Training
• Force Stealth - Intermediate Training
• Sith Alchemy - Basic Training or Intermediate Training (investigation failed to uncover facts)

_{Report on skills not directly rooted in the Force, including level of skill}

The subject has proven herself an apt pilot with a variety of smaller ships and vehicles, but does not appear to be overfond of piloting fighters. She is also reasonably skilled at slicing her way through computer systems (sometimes literally), and has claimed to be familiar with the layout of most ship models in the imperial fleet as well as the common types of ships used by the so-called Galactic Republic. For obvious reasons, the latter has proven difficult to verify.

As Darth Nyiss’ personal archaeologist, the subject is an expert at dealing with traps such as those found in the tombs of ancient Sith. Tales of her Force-roasted Nexu rise occasionally, but they seem to be dual-natured in that it is either delicious or lethal. No significant deaths have been verified as tied to it, but a number of people who got on her wrong side have died from unknown causes.

_{Report on known combat experience, training and lightsaber training.}

While the subject has basic knowledge of all forms of lightsaber combat, analysis has revealed that she herself primarily uses a variant of the fifth form, with parts from the others mixed in as she deems it necessary. She is fond of using whatever is at her disposal in combat to win. Mostly redacted reports indicate that she is not above running from a fight if it is unwinnable. Such cases have at times been followed up by orbital bombardment. Whatever means necessary. She does not hold to antiquitated concepts such as “honor” in battle.

As befits any Sith her age, she has considerable combat experience, but it is more in smaller engagements than it is front line combat. Most notable of her military experience was her participation in the Sacking of Coruscant under the command of her master, Darth Nyiss. There a significant number of Jedi fell, as well as a significant number of artifacts acquired, including numerous Sith holocrons stolen by the Jedi Order over the years.

_{Detailed notes on political influence and associates.}

Her primary political influence can be summed up into a single name: Darth Nyiss. Being one of the Darth’s personal apprentices, the subject has significant influence to draw on, provided it does not go against her master’s goals. Exactly where her master’s influence ends and her own starts has proven impossible to identify, as their goals appear to be perfectly in line with each other.

_{Detailed notes on known rivals and enemies, outside and within the Empire.}

No specific rivals have been identified, but it is well-known that she bears particularly strong hatred for the Jedi Order, especially for those known as “Jedi Shadows”.

_{List and description of other known associates, including underlings.}

Curiously enough, the subject has no apprentices of her own yet, in spite of her long life. She has had a few captive Jedi that she toyed with before breaking, but none that truly became worth calling Sith. She assisted her master and her master’s other apprentices in dealing with a significant number of captured Jedi in the months after the Sacking of Coruscant.

_{List of known all ownerships, including vessels, non-standard equipment, slaves and locations.}

Exactly what the subject owns is uncertain. She has a noteworthy collection of Sith artifacts, several ships and some territory, but she also has use of many of her master’s resources when it is needed.

_{Psychological evaluation of candidate.}

The subject appears to be mentally sound. She is stubborn, but not to a fault. A good word to describe her is pragmatic, as one who looks for solutions rather than focusing upon the problems. Rushing things is not her style, unless it is necessary, of course. Her determined nature indicates, from acquired medical reports, that she has kept going with missions even with multiple broken bones. Evaluation indicated that she viewed such merely as added obstacles.

Her hatred of Jedi is second to none. In her eyes, Jedi are either potential Sith or—preferably—prey. Making them suffer before they die is something she has shown time and again to take joy in.

It can be concluded that getting her as an ally would be a significant asset, but also that it would be very hard to get her away from her master.

_{List and description of known and suspected flaws. To be put into restricted database.}

The flaws of the subject, as is the case with the flaws of most Sith, are hard to identify on account of them being kept secret. However, some theories can be noted about probable and possible flaws for this particular subject. They are as follows:

• Faulty connection to the Force? She doesn’t appear to use abilities she should easily be able to use given her experience and access to knowledge.
• Excessive maltreatment of captive Jedi - Many captive Jedi that might have become productive Sith have been reduced to bestial wrecks at her hand. Her hatred of the Jedi is such that it can at times inconvenience the Empire.
• Socially uncaring - The opinions of others do not matter as much to her as they perhaps should.
• Reduced mobility in right arm - And old medical report indicated her arm is reduced to 87% of its original functionality. There may be other reductions elsewhere, but no other medical reports were uncovered. Evidence indicates she has intentionally had them removed.
• off-handed combat - Though originally right-handed, the subject has been forced to primarily use her left arm for wielding her lightsaber in battle due to aforementioned injuries.
• Sub-par duelist - The subject can hold her own in a duel, but anyone talented at dueling is likely to beat her in a pure duel. She is known to use any means at her disposal to balance this, though. She has been known to flee such battles.
• In the subject’s eyes, cybernetics are a sign of weakness and failure. She is scornful towards those with artificial limbs, treating them as lesser individuals.
• Peace is a lie - If it had not been ordered from the Emperor himself, the subject would have continued fighting the Jedi after the Sacking of Coruscant. Following her master’s secret project on Feena she was clearly anxious to go back into the thick of things. Enough so that her master publically instructed her to go to Korriban for studies.

_{Known interests of the candidate.}

• Hurting Jedi.
• Sith tombs and artifacts.

_{Major achievements on record.}

• Archeology - Uncovered numerous artifacts of ancient Sith.
• Participant - Sacking of Coruscant.
• Pilfered Jedi Temple on Coruscant.

_{Major failures on record. Confidential.}

• Killed/broke several Jedi that could have been turned.
• Chastised for stepping out of line in relation to the Emperor’s Peace Treaty with the Republic.

Interview

_{Personal biography, as detailed by the candidate for use in imperial archives. Acquired shortly after last achievement of note.}

As I have in common with many of the less exceptional Sith, I was born on Dromund Kaas some twenty-eight years before we returned to repay the republic for what they did to Korriban all those years ago. It is simple fact that Imperial records show that I have ancestors who were Sith. None of these Sith were my parents or their parents. In fact, you have to go back several generations more before them to find any Sith who had any true power in my family tree. But that is quite irrelevant, for upon being tested at the age of five, I proved myself worthy of becoming a Sith, the ultimate honor for any child in the Empire. The future truly was within my grasp.

Where the vast majority of Sith for the past two and a half decades have almost all been trained on Korriban, our ancestral homeworld, all sith of my generation and before have been trained in the academy on Dromund Kaas. That is, after its construction following our last war with the Jedi. But where a Sith was trained matters little. If he or she is trained properly the way I was, he or she will have had plenty of conflict throughout the training. Anything else would mean a mediocre Sith at best.

I myself had to send quite a few fellow acolytes to the infirmaries with injuries of varying seriousness before they learned not to bother me. So far as it goes with proof, I have not killed any acolytes. I could’ve killed many, but chose to show pity upon them and send them to the infirmaries instead. Not one of them ever dared to strike against me after that, for they knew well that I was far superior to them, and so long as they stay out of my way, I will not bother hunting them down. Why should I bother, when they are not our true enemy, the Jedi?

The few times I did not win, I took bitter lessons from it. Sometimes, I got outmaneuvered politically, other times I found myself facing those who were superior warriors. Whatever the cause, I made certain the problem would not come up again by whatever means I deemed necessary. I leave it to you to imagine how I went about that.

As happens with all acolytes who survive the academies, I eventually rose to the rank of Apprentice and found a master I deemed worthy at the time. His name was Lord Arkanus. He was in the service of Darth Arctis, though of course not particularly highly ranked within the Sphere of Ancient Knowledge. I did not care, for in addition to teaching me far more about the Dark Side, he ensured that I learned exactly what I needed to access the edifices of the ancient Sith with relative safety.

Initially, I merely served in the Imperial Reclamation Service, but as I grew in power and knowledge, I took on more and more direct roles until I finally had command over a portion of it. For several years, I worked with and led these men, amassing a power base of sufficient size to eventually become a power of my own, rather than a mere minion. Lord Arkanus naturally demanded I hand over whatever artifacts I found within the uncovered ruins, and I naturally handed him just enough to not make him suspicious.

As my collection of artifacts grew, I grew more ambitious. Had things kept going that way, I would no doubt eventually have taken Lord Arkanus’ place. But of course this was not all glorious. More than a few times I found that the traps of the ancient Sith were quite a bit more ingenious than expected. Having to spend days submerged in Kolto to recover from broken bones and other injuries, I could not continue building my power base as quickly as I desired.

However, before I could dispose of my master in a way that would not cause any problems for me, the war with the Jedi broke out. I myself led one of the teams sent to retake the surface of Korriban from its unlawful occupiers. In fact, I was one of the first Sith to set foot upon a free Korriban in over a thousand years. The sight of the tombs of the ancient lords of the Sith were breathtaking. Even as we disposed of the republic forces there, I could barely wait to see what riches—and traps—they held.

Like most other Sith, I naturally had to aid the war effort. It was expected of me and I liked it. A day spent crushing the Jedi is not a day wasted. But however enjoyable that might be, my true passion lay in exploring the ruins of the ancient Sith. In discovering forgotten artifacts that might lead to the obliteration of the Jedi and the republic.

Though the forces I served with were not always victorious, I was no combat master or tactician. The blame for any such failures, though wrong in so many ways, was not mine to bear. Most members of the Sphere of Ancient Knowledge were more often than not deployed well behind the front lines, distant from most pitched battles. This, naturally, suited me just fine.

What did not suit me nearly as fine was Lord Arkanus. Where he had once supported my career properly, it now became clearer and clearer that he did not care about gaining more power. He cared more about history. About ‘preserving the past’ or some such nonsense. Sure, its nice to know the past, but what is the point to study it if you are not going to use it to become more powerful? It was quite simply, a shame to be his apprentice when he held these views.

I had not sufficient power to depose him yet, so I had to do the next best thing: Find a more suitable master to serve under until I could teach Lord Arkanus what it truly means to be Sith. Just before grinding his head into a pulp with my boots.

By this time, I had accumulated a decent amount of contacts throughout the Empire. Thus when I cast out my nets inquiring with subtlety about Lords and Darths of true worth, it took no time at all before I got plenty of feedback. But the vast majority of these were not even worth considering. Some were too ambitious, others didn’t even have the excuse of ambition, they were plain stupid. Then there were the Sith who were too public. I had no interest in attention of that sort. All that would do is attract assassins.

In the end, the choice fell on a young Sith Lord who went by the name of Nyiss. She, unlike all the others, was worthy. She had the proper respect for the past, stayed out of the public eye and had just the right amount of ambition. At only a few years older than myself, she had had time to gather the power to rise to the rank of Sith Lord. And she valued secrecy.

The fact that she had shown no compunction about using any means necessary to kill republic scum made her all the more attractive as a master. In my eyes, her use of chemical and biological weapons was quite simply artistic. I established contact with her and made it clear what I expected in return for joining her, and she in turn made her expectations of me clear. As these expectations did not clash, we made the necessary moves. I collected what I could bring of my power base and once safely away, I made my intentions abundantly clear to Lord Arkanus.

My service to Lord Nyiss naturally did not begin with proper trust from either of us. Trust takes time to build. At first my position was somewhat less than it had been under Lord Arkanus, but as time passed, this would change. She did not expect me to blindly hand over my collection, I did not offer. Any such offer would not spread mistrust. But even this was not the sole contents of my troubles these months. As foolish and complacent as he had grown, my former master did not take kindly to my absconding with what I considered my belongings and my servants. He sent a few assassins my way and tried to have several of my assets seized.

I dispatched his assassins with relative ease, as they all underestimated me. His attempts to seize my assets was easily blocked by my new master, who had quite a bit more political pull than he did. The simple fact that he had proven unable to retain them and me in the first place proved his inadequacy. For all I cared, he could chew on the carpets in anger at my choice.

Eventually, as Nyiss began to trust me, I rebuilt my power base and even made it grow larger, even as she grew more powerful even quicker with the aid of my own power. Some twenty years ago, after some truly deep digging, we recovered evidence of a particularly powerful artifact made by one of the most ancient of Sith Lords and departed to uncover it.

Exactly how we went about that is another tale, but suffice to say, we found it and put it to good use. That artifact is the object that has made me into the Sith I am today. Before our departure, Lord Nyiss dealt some particularly memorable defeats to the republic and the Jedi. These defeats are part of why she eventually rose to the rank of Darth, but far from all of it. I knew after we found the artifact that I truly had found a master worthy of service, a master under whom I could rise far in the Empire.

During the Sacking of Coruscant I helped myself to a good portion of their holocron vaults, liberating a number of Sith holocrons stolen by the Jedi over the years, in addition to removing quite a few Jedi holocrons, the latter of which now rest comfortably inside a Blue Giant whose location I have no intention of sharing with anyone. It was unfortunate that Darth Malgus did not give us sufficient time to remove every single holocron and other records from that edifice to narrow-mindedness. Still, we did cripple it good and proper.

I captured a pet Jedi during the sacking—one who tried to stop my recovery project—who I had some fun with in the months after, slowly breaking her, body and mind. After that, I got my master’s assistance at turning her into a proper sithspawn. Better than Jedi in so many ways.

My master’s project saw some success, but not enough before the Jedi captives were all dead or turned, but I left as soon as my master no longer needed me at her side. Turning Jedi isn’t nearly as enjoyable as breaking them. After a year on Korriban delving into the ruins there and helping a few young acolytes, I spent the next few years making good use of that farce called a “peace treaty”, going further outside imperial borders to find and acquire Sith artifacts that had either been buried outside imperial space, or had been uncovered by others before.

Now I am searching for something even juicier . . . A rumored collector of artifacts, one who has no ties yet to the Empire. One way or another, his or her collection will be mine.

[Abandoned] Padawan San Anin

There's a few grammar errors we won't pick at (unless you want us to).
But there are two things you do need to fix on spelling:

-
- You misspelled Kyla as Kayla

Minor grammar discrepancies are not sufficient to prevent approval.

---

Does she have exceptionally good memory, considering how she clearly remembers stuff from when she was four years or younger? Most humans at least don't recall all that well the those years. We don't know enough about the field of childhood memories to be certain how discrepant this would be, though. And we can see why you added that element.

Thus, if you fix those minor spelling errors above, you can consider your sheet approved, @Lauder.

[Abandoned] Padawan San Anin

@Lauder

Ok. We've looked at your sheet for your padawan.

It's a pretty good start, but there are a few points we noted:

Lauder's San Anin
This sheet needs balancing.

Issue #1:
She's got lightsaber skills that for her age would imply that the lightsaber has been her core study, yet there is this:

San has essentially abandoned her studies in lightsaber combat, making her dueling skills rather lackluster compared to most of her peers.

There also appears not to be any good reason to have a curved lightsaber, but that is minor in comparison.
Please cut the lightsaber skills down to a level that is more appropriate for her age and focus.

Issue #2:
She's got high-level tutaminis, which requires GM-approval to implement. Even ignoring that bit, you need to explain in the sheet why she has that level of training at it, as it is not something most padawans will be trained in. Not even most knights train in it much due to the danger mistakes can pose.

Minor issue #1:

Her anti-social nature makes it hard for her to be a negotiator, as Jedi typically are, furthermore it makes her alienated from the rest of the Order.

Far from all Jedi are typically negotiators. Many are pretty close to useless at the subject.

Minor Issue #2:
bio text really doesn't need to be shrunken. All that does is make it harder to read. It would be much appreciated if you can leave it at normal size.

Bio questions:

• Why did the family want to keep her away from the Jedi?
• Is there some event in her story to explain her tendency towards self-isolation? Or is it merely that she's an innate introvert?
• What was the event with that third trial?
  Suggestion: perhaps have her fail that trial once, then pass it later?

---

It would be nice if you could include details on the skill levels with the various Force techniques. Useful for when other players are collaborating with you and need to quickly check something.
Given her age, most will be at the levels of No training or Undiscovered innate talent or Basic Training / Novice or Known, untrained talent. Maybe one or at most two can be at the level of trained talent if training that has been the focused heavily upon by her master during her padawan period.

Thoughts: this sheet should be possible to get up to standard and balance fairly easily. We like the concept of it.

[Abandoned] Devaronian Jedi Shadow - Vor Grilnisk

excellent.

[Abandoned] Mandalorian - Thodall Vizsla

excellent.

[Abandoned] Mandalorian - Thodall Vizsla

You still working on your sheet, @sly13?

[Abandoned] Zelosian Jedi Shadow

You still working on your sheet, @StarfishPrime73?

[Abandoned] Devaronian Jedi Shadow - Vor Grilnisk

You still working on your sheet, @Sanity43217?

[Abandoned] Rhan Tersu

You still working on your sheet, @Blitzy?