SAM AND MIKA
Starting the drive back, he was grateful he knew how to drive Nat’s car as it was a different feel to driving Baby. He let Anna lean into him none the less as he drove, noting how Natalia especially was being rather silent in the back whilst Mika kept a close eye on her, albeit discreetly. Yet in the pit of his stomach, he just knew it would be any moment when Nat would kick off and after this day and evening he wasn’t sure he was particularly ready for it, or how it was all going to go down once Dean caught up to them. “I’m worried about it too honestly, I’m just waiting for someone to kick off and I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared for it” he replied to Anna quietly for almost fear of upsetting Natalia even more. Something told him there was so much more to this whole situation, he just didn’t know what and it frustrated him that his sister never let him in and just closed them all out. He knew just as well as Dean and Mika did that she favoured himself out of himself and Dean so it hurt him greatly that she shut him out particularly. It seemed however that he wasn’t quiet enough as he heard the familiar scoff from Natalia behind him, but no other words were exchanged....
The drive was absolute hell for him, and he had no doubts that it was uncomfortable for the others as well. Pulling up to the motel and pulling into the car park, he parked outside Natalia’s room as the space was still empty, he found Nat didn’t even wait for him to fully turn the ignition off before she dived out of the car and headed to her room, opening the door and walking in. Sam found himself sighing and running his hands through his hair after he pulled the keys out and put them in his pocket. “She’s gotta open up...she can’t keep doing this, it’ll get her killed” Mika said sadly, genuinely concerned for the young woman’s mental state. “I know, but you know what she’s like, she’ll shut us out quicker than Dean can say ‘pie’.” Sam countered.
“Well this time we don’t let her shut us out. Because tonight was the last straw. She said she wouldn’t get drunk, she promised Dean she wouldn’t drink, but she still did. She let her guard drop which in turn made mine and Anna’s guard drop because we were too concerned about her.” She told him bluntly. “what do you mean?” he asked, turning to face her in the car seat, “she got drunk and got close to Cason.....he kissed her” she said, not wanting to snitch on Natalia but she saw no other way. It had to come out at some point and she knew Sam would nag until she told him the truth anyway. “what?!” he exclaimed, trying to stop his blood from boiling. With that he said no more and got out the car, and stormed into Natalia’s room, leaving the door open for the girls.
“You let Cason kiss you?!” Sam questioned Natalia angrily and a bit too loud. Natalia span round as her back was facing him initially as he came bounding into the room. “are you serious right now?! That’s what you wanna lecture me on?! And for the record Sam I didn’t let him do anything okay?! I shoved him off when he made the move! You really think I’d let some bloody demon get that close to me?! After everything I’ve gone through at the hands of his kind?! I’m sorry but you don’t get judge me!” She yelled back at him as she removed her hooded jacket, throwing it on her bed and not even paying attention to the signs that Cason had been in her room. “I’m not judging you Nat! I’m worried about you! We all are! But you put everyone in that crypt at risk because you’re drunk and focused on Cason, who shall I remind you is already on bad terms with Dean!” Sam replied with a greatly raised voice. Mika had walked in behind him with Anna and placed her hand on Sam’s shoulder, an action that Nat took as Mika picking sides. “oh what a damn surprise! You take the brother’s side on this!” Nat practically spat. “I’m not taking sides Nat, I’m trying to get you both to lower your voices” Mika replied quietly.
“Let me guess it was you who snitched on me! You need to keep your god damn nose out of my life! You may be dating my brother but that don’t give you a damn right to police my life!” Natalia spat with drunken malice. Mika wanted to say something back but Nat’s words just left her speechless. Nat at this point was on the brink of tears and like hell was she going to let the three of them see her cry. “don’t talk to her like that! Just open to us, please!” Sam scolded and begged of his baby sister. “I’ll talk to her however I damn please!” she yelled at him before storming off into the bathroom and slamming the door shut, locking it. “Nat come on!!” Sam called out, walking over to the bathroom and knocking on the door.
Nat just slid down the door after noting the dirt in the sink and knew Cason had been there. She held her head in her hands as everything overwhelmed her in her head, the alcohol making her head spin on top of it all. The tears then ran down her face, feeling lost, confused. She listened as Sam kept begging her to open the door but she just couldn’t bring herself to. She even found herself wishing Cason was there to diffuse the situation, but then she hated herself for wishing that as she still had her negative feelings towards him because of what he was. Sam was trying for what felt like forever until he turned his head and saw Dean opening the door. “she’s locked herself in the bathroom and refuses to come out” he explained to his brother. “Tell Dean to sod off!!” Natalia shouted through the door, not in the mood for Dean’s scolding either. “you know he ain’t gonna do that Nat! Neither are the rest of us!” he countered truthfully.
She knew he was right, they were being even more stubborn than normal and deep down she knew it was pointless in trying to avoid the big conversation for much longer. Yet she held off for as long as possible before she couldn’t anymore. She slowly climbed back onto her feet from the floor and walked over to the sink, turning the tap on and splashing her face to try and sober up. She stared at her reflection in the mirror for a few moments before slowly walking to the door and unlocking it which caused Sam to step back. Natalia then slowly opened the door and stepped outside, sitting at the table that previously had Cason’s jacket on. Sam was about to speak but Natalia stopped him before he could actually speak. “firstly...I’m sorry for making you Mika and Anna drop your guard because of me. I let Cason convince me to drink even though I promised I wouldn’t. I guess...I guess I thought it would make having to work with him all the more easier to accept...” she began, refusing to look at any of them. She just stared at her feet the entire time so she could actually get her words out without stumbling too much.
“I know every hunter has their.....issues with demons but mine runs deeper than any of yours. It was demons who ran that institute, took it over and ran it as some torture chamber. Sending me there was thought to be the right decision....we all know anyone outside of this world would think of us insane, so I don’t blame my adopted family for making that decision...but once there it went from bad to worse every day..” she began explaining, trying so hard not to cry and muffle her words all over again. “it started off as mind games, pretending they’re human, they’re friends so to speak....saying they’re there to help me. I just had to talk...but I didn’t know them, I didn’t trust them with my story. Then they got impatient. Drugs started getting pumped into me....relaxants to make me loose tongued, drugs to make me sleep so they could chain me to the sorry excuse of a bed in my room at night, so I wouldn’t try and escape...all kinds of shit. Then it got worse than that, they started locking, literally, me into ice baths for an hour at a time to begin with, only unlocking me and taking me out when I was close to hyperthermia. One time my heart stopped, was considered dead for a whole minute and they had to revive me just to do it all over again the next day.” She said, struggling to get the words out of her mouth.
“Ice baths then turned into electroshock therapy. Chained to a chair, electrodes all over me, shocking me in the head and chest, only comfort I got was the bite gag in my mouth to stop me from swallowing my tongue. They were convinced I knew about the whole Winchester family the moment someone found out my real father was John. But I didn’t and no matter how many times I begged them to stop because I didn’t know any Winchester other than dad, they amped up the wattage. Nothing I said or did was right to them...” by this point she was crying all over again.
“if it wasn’t ice baths or electroshock therapy, they were tying me to chairs, slicing through any part of me they wanted to try and make me talk. Healed me up then started all over again. One time they even whipped me for kicks, whipped me so hard the scars you’ve seen today are my reminder of it. Then there this was one guy, who pretended to be on my side the whole time. That was almost worse than the physical torture. He falsely planted in my head the chances of hope of freedom. Said it would be over soon, that if I said quite literally anything it would set me free...but it didn’t work. I lied to and try an earn my freedom, but they researched my words, found out I lied and as punishment starved me until I could barely hold my head up or walk then burned me at the nape of my neck with a live wire. Yet I kept hoping dad would come for me, come save me from that hell but he never came. The only thing that ever came back for me was the torture, the pumping my bloodstream of drugs making me so docile I couldn’t fight back. If it wasn’t for you Dean, Sam...I’d have never gotten out...I—” but she couldn’t go on.
The crying overtook her and her hands were shaking uncontrollably. As she finally opened up what she endured, it all flashed through her mind like she was watching it on a TV screen. She hoped now it was all out in the open, they would finally understand why she was so flippant with Cason, why she was so adamant on not telling Dean and Sam what they had truly saved her from all that time ago. She still couldn’t look any of them in the eye so she couldn’t see the pure look of horror and sadness on their faces.