If your girl can't crack your skull between her thighs then whats the point of even being a human being.
7
likes
8 yrs ago
Identities are confusing to figure out.
4
likes
8 yrs ago
How do wing.
8 yrs ago
Omae wa mou shindeiru.
3
likes
Bio
Well hello.
I guess I should introduce myself, huh.
I'm Gardevoiran, just some schmuck going to college and working towards getting a degree in Fine Arts.
I do commissions and what-not, and you can ask me to do a commission for you through my Discord (Gardevoiran #1429) or up here through RPGuild PMs, and I receive donations and payment through my Ko-fi page. Clicking the box right below here will take you to it.
I'm a nerd. I play Pokemon religiously, I dabble in some anime, I write up here, and I love watching incredibly awful movies and just making fun of them. Specifically things like "Leo the Lion" and what not.
I don't have much else to say, so I guess I can leave you guys with a really bad joke.
"What do you call a cow with two legs?" "Lean beef."
The knight crawled out from under the crab, relatively unscathed, and he took to note what The Light said. They were left with two options, being they could hold out and let the retrieval group get Betty, or they could take down Nefas on their own. Both options were rather risky, and the chance of actual success are rather slim either way. He then overheard the alcoholic speak, and a third idea was popped into his head.
"...I promise it'll be worth your while. Bucket's got my special extra-sticky apply-on-weapon napalm..."
Napalm. That was the answer to this predicament. The crusader rushed for where he faintly saw the alcoholic point to, and he found the bucket with the... what the hell was this even? He decided to call it 'slog' for simplicity purposes. He grabbed the bucket and noticed a firework left from the pelvis-eviscerating explosion, unlit and unused. The knight was going to have some fun tonight.
LightBro ran over to a big wall of the asylum and sloshed half the bucket of napalm onto the side of it, covering it in a brownish-black coat of 'slog', then went back to the rock where he found the bucket in the first place, and he prepared the firework to be launched at that wall. Once the firework was lit, there was only one thing to do.
"FOR THE GLORY OF THIS TEAM, WE ARE THE GREATEST!"
The firework was launched, and a large cloud of soot and ash covered the wall, with a heavy earthquake accompanying the scene. Clearly it was enough to blast a goddamn hole directly in it, as the silhouette of an armless demon was barely visible beyond it, no doubt shocked by the situation. If Grog were to witness this, he would probably die of pleasure. The knight stood and stared at it for a minute, just amazed at what he did to that wall.
@Banana You might want to retroactively say you were, otherwise Fran's going to tear you apart. There's a point where no amount of being more skilled in combat will save you from that incoming guided freight train.
I may have a plan that involves slamming a freight train into a pissed-off robot.
The plant life grew rapidly around the swordsman, slowing down a lot in a majority of areas, and then rapidly growing into a thick cactus in a very specific area, which thankfully caught a large axe before it managed to chop his life down to a halt. The cactus was split sadly, but the axe was halted and redirected to the ground. The skeleton warrior turned his head towards where the axe came from, two bright lime-green lights shining from where a humans eyes would be, and he stared down the succubus. It was clear that this skeleton had been provoked, and was ready to kill some demons.
"... you missed. Thanks for the axe, you wench." The skeleton prepared to grab the axe and wield it in his left hand, with his true weapon-of-choice armed in the right hand, but that axe was - to put it simply - TOO GOD DAMN HEAVY TO LIFT, so he simply held onto it tightly for the time being. Should this succubus attempt to summon her axe back, the swordsman was going to go with it and a sword would be plunged directly into the heart of a demon. Did the skeleton know how to wield a two handed axe and a sword at the same time? No, not at all, but he was efficient in throwing swords, which would be incredibly handy... if he had any spare swords, that is. If push comes to shove, sticks would suffice to be thrown as swords, after all, when kids were pretending to be knights, they would use sticks as swords, no?
The skeleton waited, going into a defensive stance. Making the first move would be near suicide, you'd have no plan of attack and wouldn't know how to fight if you could even do it. It'd be hard to defend with nothing to defend with either, but luckily a few saplings sprouted up and began to grow near the swordsman, becoming rather small trees quickly. Defensive treants were always useful, even in times of limited movement. A small amount of dialogue escaped the mouth of the skeleton before the next events were to happen. "You don't seem bad. If I weren't sworn to these humans, I'd like to know you better."
The old man put up his notebook and shook the Vrettonian woman's hand, a hearty laugh accompanying it. It wasn't too terribly often you find a group of people on a quest for a queen these days, especially at the age he was at where it was even difficult to stand up right after you sat for just a couple of minutes. He lowered his hood, revealing his shiny bald head and his scarred face. "Queenly business eh? I'll be damned if I can remember the last time I helped with that. Well, I ain't got much to tells ya, but I'm Ursaren, a Priest of Maestus, ex-adventurer, and a pretty skilled alchemist and healer if I do say so myself. That's a large amount of information you need to know from me, ain't much left after that." Ursaren felt that most of the other information he could tell them was of the current moment pointless.
Ursaren pondered the thought of telling them of his affliction or not, but he feared that this band of adventurers would attempt to murder him in cold blood if he did. Rather than telling them straight away, he felt like the best idea would be to reveal it in a situation where it would be beneficial, which would hopefully lean them towards being accepting of his... it wasn't really a curse or a blessing... thing? Let's go with thing, heh heh! "Would it be rude if I asked if anyone in this group was a werewolf? I'm not afraid of them, I'm just curious in the case that if I did go with you youngsters I'd wake up and find a giant wolf beside me."
"Ok. I look forward to talking to the director of the Protectorate. Thanks for everything Decoy" After that was said, the hologram vanished, gone without a trace, and the head of the dispatched squad began to speak to Ruben. "This whole situation smells funny. I'll be keeping my eye on you." Ruben calmly responded to the leader with no hostility in his voice. "I don't blame you for thinking that. Would you guys like something to eat or drink before you leave, though? I can make some good tea, in my opinion." Who would turn down a cup of tea offered by a cripple, everybody knows that they make the best kind!
A Shipping Warehouse.
Inside an abandoned warehouse in Denver, a thuggish man was being interrogated by a vigilante in a moon mask, being beaten rather heavily. Now while this may seem like the masked man was being the aggressor here, he was actually the hero in this situation, as the thug was a leader of a smaller-scale human-trafficking group. To passerby with excellent hearing, they would hear the sounds of the thug crying out loud with pleas to his mother, but most would choose to ignore it as the area had a bit of a history of being haunted. Anyway, the conversation the two people had was pretty damn entertaining.
"Please mayn! I ain't done nuthin wrong, mayn! I-I just a simple homie G mayn!" "You say that but then you auction off these girls like they didn't have lives." "Look mayn it's just the bi'ness mayn, I ain't pickinin up girls and sellin' em off. I work off of what m'boss tells me t'do mayn!" "I know, and I don't want to hurt you any more than I have to. That doesn't mean I won't do it though." "Don' hurt me! I'll tell ya whatever ya want ta know mayn!" "I need information about more of these auctions." There was a pause, followed by a smirk from the thug. "Oh dayumn mayn ya wanna know more? I see whatchu' tryna do here, heh heeeeeeh, I feel ya I feel ya. Errthang ya need ta know is in da bottom left desk drawer, and call ya boi Chilly Willy up when ya need some mo' girls. I'll hook ya up nicely, mayn."
The moon man grabbed the information he needed, something mentioning this organization called the "Bratva", and then he untied the thug, who stumbled onto the floor. A dimly lit flash of light sparked in the room, and the moon man was replaced with a woman who immediately slammed her police baton into the man's head, knocking him out cold.
"...really? He gave us the information we needed... and why are you in your underwear, Gaia?" The girl chuckled at the male thoughts in her head, and she began to speak out loud. "The police are on their way, Dunn. If we let him escape, he would go blab to his boss and they'd skip town. In this situation, his boss will think the police got him, and they'll sta-ay~." There was a sigh from the male voice. "You forget that you are here and it looks very damn suspicious to the police if you are found here-"
His thoughts were interrupted by the police sirens blaring in the distance, then stopping outside the warehouse, with blue and red lights flashing outside the window. "...FUCK!"
Name: Dunn / Gaia Hill Alias:Sparce / Farce Age: Just turned 20. Alignment: Good-Inclined / Evil-Inclined Loyalty: Independent Appearance: The two young-adults are each-other's semi-identical twins. Both stand at an average 5'11", are of a mixed race with a medium build, and have a lighter brown for their hair. Individually speaking, Sparce is a nearsighted and farsighted man, and commonly wears glasses to see more efficiently, while Farce has a flattened chest compared to most women her age, yet she has a larger-than-average bottom. Both twins have a tattoo of a celtic cross on their eye, but Sparce has it on his left eye, and Farce her right. When going out for heroic things, they do not wear costumes, instead they wear two different masquerade masks, with a yellow moon mask being worn by Sparce, and a blue sun mask being worn by Farce. They each wear unlabeled clothing when doing any sort of business that may be interpreted as illegal or even when going against a human trafficking ring, as to not reveal their true identity and risk their personal lives being destroyed. History:
Dunn and Gaia Hill were born into a wealthy household, known predominantly for their parent's famous lives as actors in Hollywood. That being said, the two children were kept away from seeing a lot of the starlight, as their parents didn't want them to be corrupted by stardom and having parents that were famous because of it. For a majority of their years, the twins stayed together and were secluded from a lot of other people, even to the point where they had no friends outside of the snobbish acquaintances at their Hollywood schools. Naturally because of this, the two were each-others closest friends and the only ones who trusted each-other. Once the two were older (around 11), their parents allowed them to see the limelight and be recognized for their parents success. Dunn was not a fan of this, however Gaia loved every second of it. She wanted from that point on to have it all, it being the fame, the money, the stardom, even the dogs... especially the dogs. Dunn did not want to become a famous celebrity, rather just a police officer so he can help take down organizations and keep peace Life was pretty good for the both of them, and they were both happy.
One day, when the twins were 18, however, Gaia was kidnapped by a boss of organized crime, namely human-trafficking and sex-slave auctioning. When the family received wind of this, Dunn stepped up and personally ran the operation to get his sister back to him. He did a surprising job, with a bit of connection to one of his old college friends, he almost broke his sister free from the crime... almost. A fatal shot through the chest ended the life of Dunn, as his sister watched in horror while being held at gunpoint. As a few other officers ran in to clear things up and get Gaia to safety, something happened to her...a trigger, one that didn't cause anything at the time of her saving.
That night, Gaia's mother and father almost had a heart attack each at the sight of their dead son in his room, fully alive and well, while Gaia was nowhere to be found. They assumed the worst, and began calling the police, until they saw Gaia standing there in front of them, completely fine, and Dunn vanishing in front of them. The father saw this and recalled back to when he was a college-student, reading about these people called "parahumans", people born with rather interesting abilities, and how they unlocked them through very stressful events. The father realized that Gaia was a parahuman, and the sight of her twin's death was her trigger, allowing her to take on the role of her dead brother and truly becoming him. Of course, he was skeptical. After a few rather... interesting... tests, he confirmed that Gaia and Dunn were the same person now, linked by parahumanism, and being classed as a Shifter.
Later, Dunn left his family's residence and took up a new name, vowing to help end the cause of human trafficking for a long time to come. Gaia, even though she voiced that all she wanted was to live as her own person and reach her own goals, surprisingly wanted to do the same despite having her own intentions on how it should be dealt with. From that point on, Sparce and Farce were born, with the goal of ending human trafficking.
Personality
Motivations: Both of the twins deeply want to end human trafficking for good, however they each go about ending it a different way. Sparce prefers to go about it with sparing lives, while Farce will kill as she pleases. Sexuality: Bisexual, but their partner must also be. Likes:
Salad / Soup
Cats / Dogs
Video Games / Dresses and Tuxedos
Dislikes:
Coffee / Tea
People who hit on his sister / Her brother when people hit on her
Unneeded killing / Being called sweetheart
Derangement: The twins have a paranoid fear that they're going to transform into the other twin at any given moment, especially when in a rather adult situation (if you catch my drift). Due to this, they fear going to a professional event if they haven't transformed into the other twin in a while.
Parahumanism
Skills:
Dunn is surprisingly strong for his figure, able to benchpress about 140 pounds without overextending himself.
He's a good shot with his gun. He's not the best, but he's accurate enough.
He has a few connections with friends, in case he ever needs them.
He was going to be a private investigator, so he has a decent amount of knowledge in forensics.
Gaia learned how to become a very good liar, able to swindle her way out of a lot of bad situations (mostly grades when she was in school).
Gaia occasionally went with Dunn to his police training, and she learned how to fight hand-to-hand efficiently there.
She's decent at making dresses.
Gaia is very flexible. She can sneak incredibly well due to this.
Classification: Shifter / Breaker / Stranger
The twins have the ability to switch between each-other in every sense of the imagination, even to the point where any harm placed on one twin is not carried over to the other unless it deals with the brain, and whatever clothes the twin was previously wearing is transferred too. Every aspect of the twin is flawlessly mirrored, from the strands of hair all the way to the nail-polish of Gaia's toenails. They also have a sort of bond where they can speak to each-other through a shared sense of mind, but they have yet to explain how it works (they don't even know themselves to be honest).
If Sparce desired, he could resurrect someone and allow them to live again, with two catches. The first catch would be that they have none of the powers they once had, despite the strength of the power once possessed by the resurrected (This excludes all body modifications added onto that person by Tinkers). The second catch is that they must also abide to the rules of Farce's power, being that they also change between being them self to being either Farce or Sparce. They're also able to telepathically speak to the others affected by this power like how Sparce and Farce do.
If a player character was to be resurrected, their player must act as that character unless they give up their character to me (Banana [Now Gardevoiran]), in which I shall try and play their character to the best of my ability.
So, basically, Sparce and Farce mentally, emotionally, and physically switch places at random intervals never exceeding 24 hours. Should another person die close enough to them, their body, mind, and soul will be absorbed into a sort of Cloud where Sparce and Farce can switch to them as well If a twin receives an extensive amount of damage, the switch is initiated immediately then to prevent further harm to that twin at the expense of the other, and the only situation where they can force a switch without violence is through bringing up the trigger event around Dunn, where it switches to Gaia no questions asked.
The twins use the bond they share telepathically to make a decision if it is a hard one. If one twin greatly disagrees with the other twin, they will not go through with the disagreed upon way.
The twins will be be civil with a majority of situations, but if they both agree upon whether force should be used or not, they will go through with that choice.
The twins can confuse anyone trying to interact with their thoughts, which can help or just be a nuisance.
Limitations: The twins have no control over when this happens, however it has been observed that transformations are guaranteed to occur after 24 hours if a transformation has not occurred within that period. The only guaranteed transformation other than that is when someone else brings up when Gaia's trigger event happened, where it instantly switches to Gaia with no time wasted. The twins cannot heal any harm when they are not the current owner of the shared body, and it is completely random, so a heavily hurt twin can be switched back into a bad combat situation. Equipment: Dunn and Gaia both have a bluetooth earpiece equipped, letting them make calls and speak wirelessly to others nearby. Dunn carries around his M1911 handgun, which he is a crack shot with, while Gaia carries around a reinforced nightstick, which she has nicknamed Carlotta. Both weapons transfer when the twins undergo a swap.
Accepted via Skype.
EDIT: I just noticed that I was using the wrong colors for the twins. Now since I'm lazy, just remember the following thing... Dunn/Sparce is this weird blue-green Gaia/Farce is yellow
EDIT2: Current characters included in the Graveyard Trio Farce, Whipstitch, and Limbo
[center][h3][u]Well hello.[/u][/h3]
I guess I should introduce myself, huh.
I'm [color=00aeef]Gardevoiran[/color], just some schmuck going to college and working towards getting a degree in Fine Arts.
I do commissions and what-not, and you can ask me to do a commission for you through my Discord (Gardevoiran #1429) or up here through RPGuild PMs, and I receive donations and payment through my Ko-fi page. Clicking the box right below here will take you to it.
[url=https://ko-fi.com/U7U1HBS5][img]https://az743702.vo.msecnd.net/cdn/kofi1.png?v=0[/img][/url]
I'm a nerd. I play Pokemon religiously, I dabble in some anime, I write up here, and I love watching incredibly awful movies and just making fun of them. Specifically things like "Leo the Lion" and what not.
I don't have much else to say, so I guess I can leave you guys with a really bad joke.
"What do you call a cow with two legs?"
"Lean beef."[/center]
<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><div class="bb-center"><div class="bb-h3"><span class="bb-u">Well hello.</span></div><br>I guess I should introduce myself, huh.<br><br>I'm <font color="#00aeef">Gardevoiran</font>, just some schmuck going to college and working towards getting a degree in Fine Arts.<br><br>I do commissions and what-not, and you can ask me to do a commission for you through my Discord (Gardevoiran #1429) or up here through RPGuild PMs, and I receive donations and payment through my Ko-fi page. Clicking the box right below here will take you to it.<br><br><a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" href="https://ko-fi.com/U7U1HBS5"><img src="https://az743702.vo.msecnd.net/cdn/kofi1.png?v=0" /></a><br><br>I'm a nerd. I play Pokemon religiously, I dabble in some anime, I write up here, and I love watching incredibly awful movies and just making fun of them. Specifically things like "Leo the Lion" and what not. <br><br>I don't have much else to say, so I guess I can leave you guys with a really bad joke.<br><br>"What do you call a cow with two legs?"<br>"Lean beef."</div></div>