I actually did not mean for Ahjan to be large or bulky, but I know the closest I ever came to describing his physique was in the abilities section. He's supposed to be more lithely built. Dick Grayson, not Bruce Wayne.
I like the character, and he would have very interesting interactions and probably some combined character arc-age with my character.
But, as Grav says, he's a bit OP. I, personally, don't mind him having the Force, but he's a bit more accomplished with it than would be reasonable for the level we want to start with. On top of that, he's also physically very strong. He has a lot going for him in multiple areas. What you might do, is leave his strength, and keep his ability to heal, but drop his other overt powers. Make him a kind of juggernaut character, it's a sort we don't really have yet, and it makes him a foil to the other Dathomir related character.
One last thing, you mention in his appearance that he has armor, but it's not listed in his equipment.
Oh, and he has a lot of credits. Tone that down too.
I don't think they're major changes you need to make. Should be easy without compromising the character.
Ahjan had a purposeful stride, with all of the confidence of a young man who had yet to be beaten too badly. He wasn't a frequent bar goer by choice, but he had learned from experience that if you see past the lights and hear past the sounds, you'll likely be the only one doing so. As such, it was a great place to sneak up on someone who needed capturing.
This time he had no need of stealth, his target was waiting for him and he was going to meet him amicably. Vapjo was plainly visible, and Ahjan strode toward him, cutting off a Rodian who was trying to introduce himself to speak to the man.
@Legion-114 It's also worth noting that that picture is not an Iridonian. In fact, Iridonian is actually just another word for Zabrak(a species whose home planet is Iridonia).
Name: Ahjan Vayton(Uh-Jon Vay-ton, short "O" so that the names rhyme) Age: 20 Gender: Male Species: Dathomirian Zabrak
His hair is long and is usually bound up tightly behind his head.
Currently dresses in a set of simple dark gray clothes, with calf high black boots and a belt that keeps his tools and weapons. His pants and jacket fit closely, but leave him excellent flexibility. The jacket's front is asymmetrical, and fastens on the right side so that there are two layers of protective Synth fabric over the front of his torso. Both wrists have plasteel bracers, which protect from even modded blades(such as vibroblades) and also protect from blunt force trauma so he can use them to block. The left hand bracer has his comm link in it. Though the suit is made of cloth that is soft to the touch, it is actually designed with protection in mind. It's proofed against any unmodified blade, and can help to disperse weaker blaster bolts to reduce the damage they would deal to him. This protection is greater in the front where the fabric is doubled over.
Affiliation: Familial raltions to Nightsisters/Brothers The illegitimate son of a Jedi Knight. Bounty Hunter Guild
Background: Ahjan's mother was a Nightsister, but his father, against all rules and traditions, was a Jedi Knight. He was a Zabrak, who visited Dathomir when he was still a young Knight, traveling alone for a trivial mission. A young Nightsister, by the name of Vivay Vayton, was intrigued by the visitor. He had a swagger about him, and she mistook the title "Knight" to mean that he was a warrior. She courted him and, though he resisted briefly, he gave in and slept with her, producing a son, destined to be either a Nightbrother or a Jedi, Ahjan. He became neither.
The Jedi, of course, left shortly after and didn't return until he started hearing rumors of a "Jedi's child" on the planet. He feared that he would be connected to what he knew in his heart to be his son, and went to Dathomir, meaning to take the rumored child back to the temple, pretending it to simply be a Force Sensitive whose parents gave it to training. This is one of Ahjan's first memories, a Jedi Knight entering his home and demanding that he leave with him. Vivay, of course, had other ideas. She saw through the Jedi's intentions. He didn't want his son to follow in his footsteps, he only wanted to hide his transgression. She told the Knight that she refused to be his dirty little secret, and spat in his face. The Knight maintained his composure, but his anger seethed below. He asked one more time before pushing Vivay aside and turning to take Ahjan by the arm. His cries attracted neighbors, who came to confront the Jedi. He knew he could not fight them, and left peacefully to retain some dignity. The Nightsisters knew that they weren't safe from this Knight. To them, the Zabrak Nightbrothers were servants, and lived to protect the Sisters. They decreed that in the course of this protection, Ahjan had to disappear. They sold him to a bounty hunter who recognized their innate talents as a warrior tribe, and saw the opportunity to take on an excellent pupil.
This bounty hunter trained Ahjan, and brought him into the Guild.
Equipment: A collapsible Force Pike(500c) Two sets Servo Cuffs(200c) Synth Textile based light armor(700c) Wrist Link(50c) Blaster Pistol, BlasTech DL-22(500c)
Abilities: Listed in order of strength and skill: Melee: His strongest skill. Ahjan's body is well trained. Any man can win a fight with lethal force, but Ahjan can subdue and detain just as easily as kill; with or without a weapon. Acrobatics: Though not weak by any means, he is primarily built for maneuverability. It can come in handy when he's ganged up on, as he can jump clear over most people's heads. Stealth: Ahjan is a fan of taking a mark without them ever knowing they had been hunted. He doesn't always succeed completely, but the closer you get before they know you're after them the more the fight is in your favor.
@Prudence Yeah, that's fine now. We don't even have to say that the helmet is fake just that it's not a full-bells-and-whistles deal like Grav described. It makes sense that he has a sort of piecemeal armor, too, since he's not an actual member of Mandalorian military(which I don't know that much about aside from what's seen in TCW, which is centuries after our time).
Anyway, I'm off to look at that intro post. Anyone have any questions or concerns?
Fading Memory,
Iracebeth,
Not a Sayan,
Neziul,
abc,
Fetzen,
Xaltwind,
Veilsight,
FlappyTheSpybot
