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23 days ago
Current Just ran a stale yellow. Nobody on this website is doing it like me, sticking it to the man like me, blazing a trail against tyranny like me. the only thing revolutionary about you is your rhetoric
3 likes
2 mos ago
Takeru Segawa is the type of man they made myths out of. Intensely privileged to be able to say I watched him burn so bright as he did before going out with a win. I’ll miss you, hero.
3 mos ago
a frayed thread on the colorful tapestry of our existence, begging to be yanked until the whole thing unravels, a suggestive, inviting golden glow around the idea of leaking my buddy's DMs to his wife
6 likes
4 mos ago
I'm like the "conspicuously modded with multiple trojan backdoors skyrim save on your friend's screenshare stream" of white boys
4 likes
5 mos ago
Completely fucking up my field sobriety test as i clamber out of the honda fit i've wrapped around a lightpost, staggering everywhere, before finally scoring a big fat goose egg on the breathalyzer
9 likes

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Most Recent Posts



"Yeah, I feel. Thanks."

I absolutely didn't feel.

I knew her advice was warning me, as it so often did, of the dangers of scandalously "easy" women, but how on earth did she get there from the subject of the shape of Ben's tonfa?

Like, I knew the common wisdom of "if she breathe she a thot" by heart at this point, and I also intellectually knew that it was anatomically and biologically impossible for everyone who wasn't a thot to not breathe. If anything, I'd guess that the message she wanted to relay to me was "find a happy medium with your caution, don't distrust all as thots, but don't forget that all thots walk amongst us", or something along those lines. But, that's not the issue here.

The issue is the tonfa.

Lawnslot is a shotgun and a tonfa, and unless she's tying it together via phallic imagery, I don't see how its shape relates to thots at all.

They were two different trains of thought.

Two different chains of thot, even.

I glanced over to Amy, and the geyser that was once her weapon, before looking back down to Lawnslot in my hand.

I wasn't sure why, but a very chilling thought (and not thot) occurred.

...If Lauren had, metaphorically mind you, just handed me Ben's...

"........."

I would be extremely upset. That's all that we need to say. Any more words were to be sternly had with her, and her alone.

.........

Anyways.

All that aside.

Chatsworth's assignment for today was extremely hands-off, as far as they went— Just as well too. Drawing up plans for Crow's Beak was more like telling Ben what I was thinking of in the first place, so in essay terms, I had basically already mapped out my "rough draft" in the classes before.

So, once I had gotten Lawnslot opened up and looked into, I could start that up in earnest—

Well, actually, hold on.

Let's weigh the options for a second.

This may come as a shock to you, but I've recently become aware of a disturbing tendency of mine: I am, apparently, pretty easily sidetracked.

If I actually were to switch gears from the planning stage to the investigative stage, I could quickly lose the frame of mind needed to write down my schema in a timely, concise, and unobtrusive manner.

That'd sink me for sure! A slapdash and haphazard note cobbled together at the end of class wouldn't hold up to Beacon Academy's standards at all!

I couldn't allow it. With all the fury and rightful panic of a man who's been brought from the depths of washout-dom—

I absolutely wasn't allowing it.

The paper and pencil were free before you could even blink. A quick summary of my thoughts and plans to start— That would, at the very least, provide me with a suitable roadmap before I inevitably began to tinker and lead myself astray.

Lawnslot had a fairly simple-appearing construction, owing to the necessary minimalism of sticking a gun in a tonfa of all things.

But even so.

Even so.

I could not underestimate it. The smiths of Redwood had forged this thing.

"Redwood is always full of surprises—" The words of an old Shiroyaman general, whose name I unfortunately glossed over in my high school history class's Color War unit one or two years prior.

"—Just when you think you have them cracked, something older and meaner than the both of you pops up from nowhere. I fear that anything less than a swift and total defeat will not be sufficient, lest we waken another sleeping giant."

I don't remember what that giant was.

It sounded like a Grimm to me right now, but I got a feeling that one of the other arguments being made was for their populace and arms—

Arms I was dealing with now.

.......

The point is:

I needed to do the report first, before marveling at whatever beguilingly simple-looking feats of engineering lay within Lawnslot.

...Wouldn't it be funny, actually, if it really was as simple as it looked?

Could that be what Lauren, my beloved surrogate sister who unfailingly speaks in double or even triple meanings, was getting at all along?

The virtues of calling a spade a spade?

A tonfa a tonfa?

A thot a thot?

...We'll see.


"Yeah, you've sketched a whole bunch. Sketched me out!"

How on earth would that even measure for--

I very quickly decided not to follow that train of thought, for fear of coming up with the obvious answer, and instead focused upon the other egregious offender in that list. Lawnslot being a tonfa and shotgun both allowed for--

No.
Stop.
Not happening.

"What kind of microchip contains your kindergarten time-out record?!"

Really, everything else was at least a physical measurement...

Lauren simply continued to throw her winningly radiant smile at me.

Well, if anyone would find a way...

"At any rate, this certainly covers a lot of bases with those three functions."

A sword and shield for a defensive approach.

A ballista for long ranges, making closing in more a choice than a necessity.

A battleaxe for taking big things down where neither of the former two modes had enough sheer stopping power to cut it.

Like a Manticore.

"Come to think of it," I ventured, eyeing the base weapon as it sank further into the fields of Elysium. "If Lawnslot retains its original functionality, you've also got a shotgun in that thing too, don't you? 'White Bronco's' gonna have something for just about every situation, if you back that with dust cartridges."

Impressive ideacrafting...

You'd expect nothing less from a girl who conned you at every turn, but her brain obviously wasn't single-track like yours truly. When she earnestly wanted to get something done, it was just as sharp as when she wanted to swindle you out of your wallet, well-founded concern, or innocence.

Admirable versatility was her middle name.

Ah, to speak of Lawnslot, Dust Cartridges, and versatility...

I quietly laid out my own drawings, looked over and cleaned up by Ben during some downtime in Math the period before, and indicated the bottom half of my general concept for my own new weapon.

"Hey, if it's not any trouble, would you mind letting me take a look at Lawnslot today? I'm not planning on swiping it from you, or anything, I just need to get an eye for how it works as a firearm— I unfortunately didn't get too much of an education on gunsmithing, so I need a base template to work off of."

I frowned.

"And, with Cian being moved to another team, we're down a long range weapon— so a shotgun at the end of a Bec de Corbin's better than nothing."

It wasn't at all that I didn't welcome Skye aboard with anything aside from open arms— but Cian's departure in Ozpin's grand reshuffling scheme left us with a very, very wide hole in our situational coverage, to put things mildly. Even if I were a heartless pragmatist, I'd be missing her.

Thankfully, though, I'm not. I have human reasons to miss my first friend here.

Stay strong, little rabbit...

It was an unfortunate side effect to an unfortunate event— not the unfortunate event itself. If I could emulate 'White Bronco' with 'Crow's Beak' in its versatility, it would at least be able to deal with the side effect.

"With how minimalist I would assume Lawnslot is to still be an effective tonfa— I'd imagine taking cues from it would help me avoid throwing off the weight and balance of the polearm when it's whole."

Any more that it would need to be, with the spike on top being a drill and all...

"Only if you can spare it, though. If you're gonna be needing all day..."

My finger drifted up towards the gnarly head of the conceptual weapon, lazily circling the cornucopia of attack options it bore.

"I can just work on all this. No biggie."
his best friend is off getting swindled out of his healthy concerns
Do it.

Take the shot.
it's time to bring back maximum over technical analysis fight scenes then

every link in the kinetic chain boys
oh fuck buddy
i can make some bomb ass stick figures
she absolutely is
you're not?
I personally identify with /ourguy/ Pygmalion on a visceral level
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