Avatar of Lewascan2

Status

Recent Statuses

5 yrs ago
Fastest draw.

Bio

User has no bio, yet

Most Recent Posts


Location: Blackwater Estate, North-East Kindeance. - 1 week prior



Right-O. I mean, J could just be a civilian that seems unusually talented at things that would make a good shinobi. He would then join the academy in Kumogakure to build up his skills and gather intel on things. As for his family situation; I'll save that for when the scene starts. I'd rather fill out stuff about J as they happen.


That's fine by me. Sure.
@Lewascan2

Right. In that case, how would a civilian become a Shinobi? Or, am I overthinking that part?


Overthinking it probably. Especially at this stage. Your backstory shouldn’t go further than the immediate circumstances of the PC’s birth and what kind of family situation they’ve been born into. Civilians usually have no trouble at least trying to become shinobi. Success is another matter altogether, but anyone can apply for the Academy.
Okay, necessary edits have been made. All that's left is the final green light


I'm assuming that without the elaboration on his new life circumstances, he's basically a civilian born? If not, make sure to clarify with a final edit what his new life starting line is like. After that?
Approved!
Drop him over in the CS tab.
A repost for the new RP, several generally simple changes have been made, as summarized in the changelog. Otherwise the same.




@Lewascan2 Right, that reminds me. Any tropes you would recommend? I haven't read nearly enough (bad) Naruto fanfiction to be aware of them. Or, rather is there a list of such?


I've put a small list of some basic ones as examples in the OOCOP, which I may expand as others occur to me.
<Snipped quote by Lewascan2>
Sorry, I forgot to do do that.

<Snipped quote>

There's actually something I forgot to list in long-term goals. It's not major, but just ensuring certain canon elements remain in tact. I.E. NarutoxHinata happening, and the like. But, yeah Jaden/J has a lot on his plate. I won't assume he'll be able to accomplish everything on his to-do list. But, it's nice to have a clear set of goals. I might add a couple things for flavor. But, for now I've been on this computer for long enough (as of typing this)

So, thanks for the feedback!


No problem. Once you've added a hider as well as whatever else you need to for the sheet to be complete, just let me know, so I can give it a (hopefully) final lookover. In large part, I'd say this is nearly passable as is, aside from the final tweaks you and I have mentioned.


Approved!
You can pop that sacrifice to our lord and savior, Itachi glorious addition to the emo clan in the CS tab!

Jaden Bernes CS


As a quick preface, I'd prefer all CSes to be contained in hiders for space-saving/neatness purposes.

That aside, however, I very much like what you have going on here. The list of goals, in particular, very solidly label this guy as one of (if not THE) most broadly ambitious of the current PCs. As things are, I actually can't find a single thing to critique. Is this still a WIP, or would you consider this complete?



@Lewascan2 As you can see... I got a little silly at times. May have... gone too far in some places.


Approved!
You can toss Kohaku in the character tab at will.

Approved!
You can move Ren to the CS tab.

Okay, before I make my character; are there any relevant clans in the Cloud village?

Other than the Chinoike Clan, not really. There's only one other named Kumo clan that I'm aware of, and they don't have any mentioned bloodline. Although, technically, the Chinoike don't join Kumo until after Shippuden (but before Boruto). In the current era, they would be based in the Land of Hot Water and technically aren't associated with any village, having been banished there due to political machinations and false accusations.


Looking good! The only thing I'd say needs to be changed is that he wouldn't have Calorie Control as a jutsu starting out. That's something that actually needs to be learned and isn't inherent to the Akimichi. As soon as you fix that, however, I would say your sheet is good to go!
Approved (as soon as you edit the Jutsu).
After that, you can drop him in the character tab.
© 2007-2026
BBCode Cheatsheet