I'm not that well read in poetry but I have read a little. I'm guessing this is a freeform poem as I didn't notice any particular pattern. So here goes for
@BlizzMy favorite line is "To defy the great is to defy sanity"
"clad in greatness, born of wonder.
Wrapped in the shroud of royalty
stands a noble leader." Interesting first line-grabs my attention right away-I already want to know who this guy is. The first line tells me the leader was Born of wonder, but in the second line you use the word shroud, which is a death robe or something to conceal/hide. Not sure why a leader would want either of those things. I'm also not sure why he's simply standing, the line deflates rather quickly for me. I want to see a leader doing something awesome, even dictators commanding the masses occassionally wave and point...er...um...awesomely.
"bearing the gaze of honor
and the crown of crowns.
his throne is a step to reach which is higher"Cool, so he's a religious leader. Crown of crowns is a christian reference, or at least reminds me of that sort of thing. It kind of ties into the Viking reference you mention a few lines down.
His world is the only, his word is law, his command is undeniable, and his power unmatched. Bing bang boom. Four things about the leader just like that. Very powerful wording, no doubt what you intend with this line. The power is drained however by sticking these phrases together, Maybe spread them out in the poem?
"He is our Thane, and we are his thralls."This is interesting. It clearly sets a place and setting for the poem. Whether it's a nod to historical viking history or for a fantasy setting that borrows heavily from viking culture, the line presents some good imagery. Having said that, nothing else in the poem points at this particular hisorical reference/imagery and makes it sort of...odd in relationship to the other lines.
The only thing I can say for improvement is to edit more and read more and you will improve. Poetry is ....weird. Words have more $ per letter and should be chosen carefully, in this piece nothing really grabbed my attention that much, except for my favorite line, " To defy the great is to defy sanity".
Shadow Dragon