Raijinslayer — Roleplayer Guild

@Avanhelsing"Oh honey. . . you seem to think I care about your opinion. Sorry to say that you're not really important enough to go through the effort of playing nice with, not to mention you seem less interesting to talk to than that wall over there. Honestly, I expected something impressive of the adopted son of Osiris, but I guess even Chief gods can have poor taste sometimes."

Themesong:Deal with the Devil by Tia

Alpha Bitch on Deck!
Name: Maricella
Age: 20
Pantheon: Atzlanti
Divine Parent: Tlazoteol
Appearance: Mari is a drop-dead gorgeous young woman, with luscious rolling waves of silky black hair that reaches past her shoulders, dark tan skin that is utterly devoid of any flaws or blemishes, a body that inspires either lust or envy in everyone she who sees it, and a bewitching pair of golden hazel eyes that almost seem to gleam with sensual energy. But her's is not a subtle beauty, far from it, she flaunts her God-given looks with the ease of a queen. And while she doesn't really need it, she does apply light applications of makeup to further enhance her features, such as black eyeliner, faint gold eyeshadow, and perhaps a light application of lipstick to match her skin tone if she's in the mood.

Dressing in only the finest of chic fashions for any occasion, her wardrobe can vary by the hour if she's feeling fickle, but most of the time she'll be seen in some form of form-fitting dress or outfit that, while hugging every delectable curve, leaves enough to one's imagination to inspire the fantasies of both men and women alike. To get into specifics, her clothing styles tend to include some variations of black and gold coloration(the colors that just so happen to be associated with her godly mother) and tend to serve their function as merely ways to enhance her own looks rather, and as such, tend to be somewhat understated as far as fashion goes.
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That being said, she does have more practical attire to choose from as well, as the life of a Scion often means having to get your hands dirty, no matter how much she might not want to do so. Often, this comes down to a classic combination of a light jacket, a shirt, jeans, and appropriate shoes. All still being of the highest quality money can buy, of course, but less prone to either wardrobe malfunctions or getting in her way during a fight.
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History: Maricella has never truly wanted for anything material in her life. Born the daughter of a wealthy CEO who doted on her every whim, gifted everything she could ever want, and almost ensured a decadent future, you'd think her life was a great one, wouldn't you?

But Maricella, even back then, was never truly happy. And she also never truly loved her father. As soon as she was capable of properly perceiving the world around her, she could since the filth that polluted every ounce of his soul. This feeling of discomfort grew into disgust as she grew older, her beauty already apparent to all who saw her. Especially to her father, who would often mutter about how much she looked like her mother. It was something she learned to hate, as was the mysterious woman behind it who had so enraptured that it wouldn't be wrong to call him obsessed, only to disappear without a word and only leaving a mysterious child in her place. 

She was never a daughter to him, only unripened fruit that he so eagerly desires to taste, and it revolted Maricella to her core. But she learned something very important from her father, and that is that with just a flutter of the eyebrows and a little playing along, he would rush to do whatever she wanted. His obsession left her putty in her hands, and even as a little girl, she made great use of her father's perversions in order to get what she wanted out of him. Bearing witness to the way he bent to her every whim so easily, it made her feel beyond empowered.

From that moment on, she continued to grow, both her beauty and in her skills as a seductress and a manipulator of men and women alike. From grade school to high school, she quickly gained a reputation as queen among queen bee's, who could easily decieve any teacher in believing her to be an innocent angel while taking over the social hierarchy of her schools with an iron fist. Not only that, but 

Abilities/Skills: When it comes to skills, most will find Maricella to be far from lacking interms of social and mental acumen. She has made a habit all her life of using her looks and charm to get what she wants, and when the proves insufficient, she has little issue in turning to more underhanded tactics, whether it be blackmailing a teacher with photos of him "taking advantage(read: falling prey to her seductions)" of her in order to secure a good grade or letter of recommendation, to using a poor fool's crush on her to make him humiliate a rival of hers and take all the blame. And with her natural charm and charismatic nature, he would do so gladly and willingly, such is her ability to inspire devotion, awe, and fear in others, and her skill in using it. Not only that, but despite her somewhat ruthless nature, few people can claim to have a clearer understanding people than she does, as her ability to make peope tell her every dirty little secret they have.

More than just a pretty face, however, Mari is highly intelligent, able to understand and pick up complex academic ideas and concepts with ease. Not only that but as one who has often found themselves on the top of many social powerstructures, she has learned to be highly aware of not only those around her, but of her surroundings as well. This has often proven to be a crucial skill when it comes to reading others, paying attention to every seemingly insignificant detail for something that will give her the edge she needs. The one thing that surprises most upon meeting Maricella, however, is her chosen field of study: Medicine. Specifically, she wishes to be a General Surgeon(and is already insanely skilled at it to the point that some are calling her a prodigy),and when asked why by most, she answers in a way that most find to be against her character: She likes helping people, and that seems like as good away as any to do it. To most people, this seems to be absolutely ridiculous claim for the woman who seems hellbent on making life miserable for anyone in her way. However, any taking a closer look at her actions would notice how, even at her worst, she never goes out of her way to genuinely hurt someone, and only threatens the reputations of those either directly in her way or who have things in their closet that would justify the loss of social standing if revealed. While most certainly not a kind in anyway, Maricella is not a woman who destroys people for no reason, and the few times that she has destroyed someone's reputation, they have all been people who more than deserved, and who she used right up to the point where she was done with them.

Despite her rather dominating presence, one will find that Maricella is actually rather weak, at least in terms of pure strength. When it comes to her dexterity and stamina, however, she proves herself much more capable. Throughout her school life, she has participated in gymnastic competitions at her father's behest, and despite his true intentions for dooing so, she quite enjoyed the sport and proved to be uite good at it. Her constant practice, more for exercise and fun than any real competitve desires, have kept her very fit and toned, as well as improving her natural flexibility a great deal, which has proven to be as helpful for her life as a Scion as it has been for her love life. Another helpful attribute for these things is stamina and fortitude, and Maricella is surprisingly capable in both of these aspects as well. Me

Supernatural Abilities: As the daughter of Tlazoteol, it should prize no one that her natural beauty, charm, and ability to twist others to her whims only grew after her Visitation. Her beauty has grown so much that she can bring all eyes on her just by making an entrance or showing some skin, her dazziling smile and way with words can make it difficult for anyone to grow angry with her, and those same words can be quite compelling when it comes to pulling out dirty little secrets from the naughty boys and girls who try to hide them from. A fool's errand, as she can always since the guilt, shame, and sin that come from such spiritual filth, especially if her words happen to bring it to mind. Her association with the Atzlanti pantheon has also lets her make use of the power of blood sacrifice, spilling her own blood in order to empower her efforts in any endeavor.

The touch of divinity has sparked in her in other ways besides these, however, such as the ability to assess another's condition with just a glance, the ability to breathe underwater and communicate with it's creatures, learn complex subjects with ease, and even emulate her mother to an extent by being to gain sustenance and nutrition from anything she eats, no matter how foul, without suffering any risks to her own health(that doesn't mean she will find it appetizing, however).

Birthrights: During her Visititation, Maricella was offered 3 gifts to use as she liked. The first was a set of makeup that served to mimic Tlazoteol's own iconic gold and black facepaint, but with a more modern flair. Seeming to most as nothing more than just a set of gold eyeshadow and black matte lipstick, the magic of this is a devious enchantment to be certain. While already skilled in matters of seducing the answers she wants out of others, the make-up makes serves to infuse Maricella's being with a silver of Tlazoteol's own presence, making it even more difficult to resist her, no matter who the individual is.

After that, her mother suddenly locked her into the most breath-taking kiss of her life in order to place an enchantment in her daughter's blood. By cutting open her flesh and leting the blood spill to the ground, Maricella is able to summon a Scarlet Coatl to her side, the winged serpent serving as both a companion, protector, and mode of transportation for Mari in times of strife.

For her final gift, Mari was given a medical scapel with a blade made from enchanted obsidian that would never chip, dull, or break and, more importantly, possessed a insane level of sharpness. No matter how faint the touch, any flesh that comes in contact with the edge of the scalpel will be cut deep enough to bleed, thus making it an exceptional ritualistic tool, and a good emergency weapon incase things get a little too hectic for her.

Misc: Mari often carries around a small handgun and a taser on her person, and is actually a pretty good shot with the former. A girl can never be too careful, after all.

Mari is also a fairly talented singer.


I think I've gotten down everything but the history fairly well, but if you need any clarifications or anything on her abilities/skills, I'm definitely open to them. Also, all ya boys better be sure to protect your Queen because while she's one tough bitch, she's kinda of useless in a straight up fight.

<Snipped quote by Inkarnate>

The ??? ranks were mostly because they're must the means of utilizing genjutsu. Since I don't want to get hyper specific with what is essentially illusions that can change depending on the setting.@Reflection

So you're saying that this genjutsu can not only insta-kill anyone it touches and effect all 5 of the senses, but that you can change the type of illusion cast at will? No matter how you slice it, this genjutsu is broken and doesn't even really follow genjutsu rules in the first place. While the tendency to require highly specific genjutsu techniques is a hassle that we as gm's are trying to figure out(seriously, do we need a whole jutsu slot just to change words on a sign) that doesn't mean you can just pull this custom one out of your ass that has absolutely no real counters(It would be piss easy for her to just hide somewhere to avoid getting hit for the duration of this jutsu and that is not okay) then lock it all up behind some split-personality seal and call it a day. You could have it so she has to perform a ten-minute Raindance to use and it still wouldn't be anything close to acceptable for a jonin character, much less a genin. Speaking of that split personality. . .

As for the reincarnation thing, it's a split personality. She's not actually a reincarnation. Those of the Kurama clan with superior genjutsu power all form split personalities, and the clan believes these split personalities are their ancestors, and thus the personality takes after that belief.Reflection

I can buy this, even though I'm 95% sure that isn't how split-personalities work, it's somewhat thematic and adds some culture to the clan. Doesn't even come close to being a good excuse for her to be as powerful as you are making her. Not in the slightest. You see, I want you to look at every other app on the OOC, and I mean really look them over. Then, I want you to look at yours. Prodigy or not, she is of a level of power that is frankly ridiculous for what we have here. A character her age isn't going to be killing a chunin, much less any of the Kage. So when you go to tweak the abilities, you need to crank that power dial back. Like, alllllll the way back. No ifs, ands, or buts. 

Also, don't use the split personality as a limiter, because it's not a limiter
When playing a character with multiple personalities, the obvious thing is that all of them will be on show sooner or later, so no matter the perceived difficulty that switching to that persona takes, it comes off as a very flimsy self-limitation that can be broken rather easily from a writing perspective without any form of growth of character whatsoever. If you want to tie abilities to the alter ego, consider this "Would this ability be acceptable if it was on the regular persona?" If yes, then go ahead. If no, then chuck it away for possible use later when your character actually grows into it.

Personally, I have a few more points I want to touch on, but they're best saved for the actual review. This was just a bit of advice so that when you've reworked her, she gets a fair shot of getting accepted like everyone else. 

Jutsu limit for prodigies is 3 C's, a few D's, and the academy techniques. I'm not sure if you were aware of that limitation, but it is a very hard limit that would need a much, much stronger case then "locked behind a split-personality" to get through. 

I hope you found this advice to be helpful(despite it being somewhat ramblely) and I thank you for taking the time to read this.

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