Raineh Daze

Academy Wars: Rituals and Technology in the Modern World, a Magitech School RP

Jen's actually dressed somewhat more practically than in her picture. No scarf. Why bring your normal clothes to school? Better to use more normal PE stuff. XD

Academy Wars: Rituals and Technology in the Modern World, a Magitech School RP

Ultimately, it's a matter of subjectivity whether third person is preferable or not. However, I am absolutely certain that everything that could be done in first person, as given, is achievable in third. Third person then lends the ability to use such things as names when the character doesn't know them and lends itself to summarising.

So, please try third person.

Academy Wars: Rituals and Technology in the Modern World, a Magitech School RP

I can't say that I can see what difficulties would arise with a player using first person.

@banjoanjo

First thing: it reads badly to have a single first person amongst a mess of third person. Secondly, it does make it more complicated.

So far, it's pretty nice and simple, because you have two other characters that look nothing alike. But that's going to get a lot more obfuscated when scenes get more crowded and they look more similar. First person is also a great way to make action far harder to follow.

The only time I've seen first and third person mixed well was when it only changed on a chapter-by-chapter basis. <_<

Academy Wars: Rituals and Technology in the Modern World, a Magitech School RP

Two big things come to mind: firstly, he's from the US for no reason other than... being from the US. It's a nonfactor. It's... honestly something to be avoided, particularly with his reason for transferring being so flimsy.
Secondly... that's totally wrong about why the original artefacts that later Divine Gears mimic are important. They were literally made to be supernatural; the wielder isn't a reason for their importance.

More minor points I've observed when reading it: you've called out flat feet and a heavy skeletal structure, and then made his other abilities... the total opposite? Capoeira? Dancing? Highly agile? That's completely contradictory. Why is street-fighting even there when he knows two martial arts and apparently has a happy and normal life? O_o

I Became a Monster, But Why?!

The brief spell of panic was broken when the snake... talked back. Snakes didn't talk. That was one of reality's normal rules: snakes hissed at you at most, maybe poisoned or choked you if things went really bad, but they didn't strike up a conversation and tell you that you were small. Wait, she was small... she was...

At this point, Saffron's attention was turned to her new body. Those... odd feeling things... they were wings and a tail now that she looked. Well... with how many monsters were around, that didn't seem like too big a step down. But... her hair... her fashion... why was she all cute and innocent? With her size, how was she going to cultivate her awesome metal reputation again if she was this tiny cute thing!

At least part of her stage name would work... she could hardly use her original one now, and she'd have to build up an impressive monster reputation instead! Hopefully find some dolls with better clothing, too. "You can call me Saffron!"

Academy Wars: Rituals and Technology in the Modern World, a Magitech School RP

Jen White

Wonderful, the cape-wearing samurai girl was clearly off her rocker--something that Jen hadn't expected from the few names she'd noticed the girl in class. Odachi Yuriko or whatever her name was clearly needed to get her head looked at if she thought that fighting with deadly weaponry without supervision was a good idea. First, she needed to find an excuse to leave, then go grab one of the few trustworthy faculty members and get them to stop this.

Then Minoru bumbled in. Jen had no idea who the guy was but from the way he didn't look even remotely familiar she was guessing 'first year'. Her opinion quickly revised to 'suicidal muppet' when he didn't do the smart thing and get the hell out of here but instead accepted the completely unreasonable challenge.

"Stay out of this, kid," she said, knowing that in order to prevent some wet-behind-the-ears nobody from being impaled there was no choice except taking part, "Fine, Yuriko, I'll fight you. Just try not to bleed too much. This is based on Excalibur, ya know."

Jen shifted her grip on the sword's cracked rubber, gripping it with both hands and holding it ready. She'd have to try and win this absurd mock battle without relying on its limited abilities; the risk of doing too much damage with the damn thing was too high with an unpredictable, blinded enemy. Let alone if it was made even sharper.

---

Tachibana Kaede

Almost as predicted, someone came along to strike up a conversation and green eyes opened, the girl twisting to lean her head off the bench as she tried to work out who it was. Something of a difficult proposition when looking at the world upside down but there was something to be said for identifiable hair colours. Pink. Why was it pink? What sort of guy would keep their hair pink for any length of time, or at least not darken it out of an eye-gouging bubblegum shade?

"Ah... Rundstrom-san, right?" the girl asked, pronouncing the foreign name well enough from the numerous times she'd spent summers overseas with her father, and remembering him from some other meetings throughout the year, "Need help for something, or just want to talk?"

Academy Wars: Rituals and Technology in the Modern World, a Magitech School RP

<Snipped quote by VitaVitaAR>

It's not congruent with the use of 3rd person, yeah, but Matsuoka's "character voice" is easier to portray via 1st person, as is his dynamic with Cloacina. He's a guy with a heavy inner narration. It shouldn't be too much of a problem, if it's an issue of perspective. Every character's written from different perspectives, even if it's 1st or 2nd or 3rd person narration.

@Crimmy

That was a 'no, don't use first person'. It's more than incongruent, it's unnecessarily hard to follow.

Academy Wars: Rituals and Technology in the Modern World, a Magitech School RP

Is it mandatory for the student OCs to join the tournament?

@Polaris North

The other way of phrasing this is "is it required that characters not write themselves out of the RP". XD

Academy Wars: Rituals and Technology in the Modern World, a Magitech School RP

Quick question, are the students equivalents to second years or are there also first years too?

@Crimmy

They're a bit over the place.

Jen's a second year, Kaede's third. I guess it's worth asking in the OOC for reasons to know the other characters if you don't want to start with no friends. XD

Academy Wars: Rituals and Technology in the Modern World, a Magitech School RP

Jen White

After her dismal efforts in the Academy Tournament last year due to a combination of skipping classes (losing out on necessary information) and choosing to claim that a normal baseball bat was her Divine Gear, Jen had chosen to put more effort into it this time around. Well, 'chosen' was a misleading term. "The PE teacher had pushed her into taking it properly" was a more accurate statement off affairs.

A required part of putting in more effort was actually training against opponents using her proper sword rather than a wooden one. Given that the blonde disliked showing it off, it meant taking to only training once most people had left for the day or gotten involved in club activities; she got changed into a tracksuit, cleaned the many obviously mechanical parts on the old sword, and headed for one of the training rooms. This day was no different: ever pipe, wire, and even the odd piston was carefully checked over before Jen got going.

It was just her luck that the room she'd picked today was occupied and that the occupant was creepily staring at the door. Jen shifted the blade behind her back, once again feeling self-conscious about the amount of clunky parts creeping over the weapon, before asking Ruriko if she was done with the room.

---

Tachibana Kaede

On a bench between the school's main entrance and the shrine, close enough to the shrine that anyone particularly obnoxious could start a shouted conversation with the goddess if they really wanted to, there was a girl doing her best to take a nap. There were several unusual things about the girl: red hair despite being Japanese, wearing the boy's uniform despite being female in every regard, and even her choice of footwear was a bit odd. The strangest, though, was by far the most obvious.

She had no arms.

On the other hand, seeing her there was a pretty regular thing; Kaede had been taking a break on the bench every day there was good weather since she joined the school. Sometimes people decided to ask for help with homework. Sometimes she'd get approached to help with cleaning after some messy club activity, or if a classroom was in particular disarray. Sometimes students would stop and strike up a conversation. Most of the time, she got to take a nap undisturbed.

Kaede didn't think today was one of those days.