Sep — Roleplayer Guild

Name:Masaru Tanaka
Race:Human
Age:25
Appearance:Tanaka stands at 182.88 Centimeter tall and has a lean muscular build with a jet black Crew Cut and focused Hazel eyes. He has broad shoulders and bares a fading horizontal scar under his right eye. He usually wears a slight grin across his face hiding his excitement for all of the new surroundings around him. He is Commonly in his nations fleckturn combat uniform and uses the equipment of the ship.
Rank:Second Lieutenant 
Nationality:Japanese
Organization:Homeworld Command
Skills:
Military Trained
Direct Action 
Air Assualt 
Unconventional Warfare
Reconnaissance
First Responder qualified
History: Masaru was born and Raised Osaka before moving to Tokyo at a young age due to his parents work as English translators and a was quick to become fluent in English from his parent and proximity with American children and developed to speak the language without and Accent. Coming of Age he went against his parents request and joined the Japanese Ground Self Defense Forces and flourished. He was deployed to the 19th Infantry Regiment, in Kasuga and worked as a interpretor between US Marine and Jgsdf soliers. He spent alot of time in US Marine and Joint Operational Trainings and exercises and even was trained in ship defense aboard Navy Assault Carriers. He was accepted into the Japanese  Special forces group at Twenty one and after training was deployed in the Iraq Occupations for a year and a half before returning to Japan. Masuru gained his commission at twenty four. Masuru was destined to be sent to the Atlantis expedition as a representative of Japan and to bolster security and search and rescue teams , He was diverted to the X-307 for the same role and to ensure japans continued political  support of the United States.@mrambo90

Is this finished? Your history seems quite... jumbled up and it's like "Bam, bam, bam". Standard casual rules do apply so I would like to see a couple of reasonable lengthed paragraphs (Don't worry I don't expect an essay ;)). If English isn't your first language I can forgive some of the language mistakes but as I said, there seems little actual progression it just seems to be "I was here, here, here, here and here." Your reason for being on the ship is good, not denying that but I'd like a lttle more on his time in Atlantis to why he was the one chosen to go on the 307. 

In terms of the skills. This one I'm not so tough on because the military do try and teach people a lot during a short amount of time, but I'd like to see a little more in terms of a link between your History and your Skills, looking good so far though :)

Name: Miyako Sora
Race: Human
Age: 31
Appearance: 1,73 centimeters tall, with straight black hair reaching just above the shoulder. She has dark brown, nearly back eyes. She has soft and nimble hands with which she carries out her work as surgeon. She has a black tattoo in the form of a broken chain across her lower back,  one on her left shoulder in the form of stylized angel wing and another one on her right in the form of stylized demon wing.
Title: Doctor /Military rank: Lt. Colonel
Nationality: Japanese
Organization: Homeworld Command 
Skills:
	Medical degree
	post-doctoral training in surgery
	Military training (specialized in sharpshooting) 
	Eight dan in Kendo. 
	
History:  Miyako was born in a military family. As such from an young age, she knew she will end up in the family business so to say. Still combat wasn't a thing she was attracted to as much as medicine. So as compromise, she first finished her medical degree then signed in the military, where she got her post-doctoral training.

 In kind of a rebellious phase, a few years after joining the military, she went ahead and got herself those tattoos after a huge falling out between her and her parents.  Things escalated to the point where she was disowned, but she paid that no mind. Instead of getting hang over that incident, she concentrated on her career. 

 Slowly, but steadily she escalated through the ranks until she reached the rank of lt. colonel, which she took as great honor for herself. One day she was approached by some higher ups with a proposition.'Was she willing to join a some kind of project.' According to them this was going to be a one time proposition, if she was to refuse it now, she will never be approached or see the two of them again. Seeing how she already broke ties with her relatives a few years ago and the fact herself had no family, Miyako decided this was only the natural progress forward so she readily said yes. That was how she joined the SGC.

 Within SGC, Miyako proved herself on a number of different off world missions. Most of which included skirmishes with the Lucian Allience or providing relieve to worlds that were met with disasters. In one of those missions she was forced to take command after their leader was gravely injured. Due the reasons they were hit without warning on a planet that wasn't supposed to have any hostile targets, Miyako and the rest of her squad were forced to retreat towards the gate and try to evacuate from the planet. It took time and a lot of bullets before they were able to secure the gate for long enough to open a wormhole and leave the planet. Miyako herself took a shot to the left leg right before they stepped through the gate. Now she has a very vague scar on that place, but she always looks at it proudly as it reminds her of leading the rest of her squad off that planet despite the insane odds against them.

Personality:  Miyako is in general very calm and collected person. She is very hard to get agitated or angry, but once that fuse has been lit, explosion is bound to happen. She likes to spend time among people and have nice chats with them. Another thing she likes to do is spar whenever it's possible. Be it  with weapons or just hand to hand, she enjoys every kind of fight as it proves excellent way to relieve stress. As practitioner of Kendo, her main strength is sword fighting, though the experience and knowledge she acquired with the sword proves useful in hand to hand combat too as her reflexes are fast and her vision sharp. Another weakness Miyako has is towards alcohol. She likes to drink sake, though the military regulations make it difficult to drink freely, so that's mostly reserved for when she is off duty.


this better :3?@rivaan

I don't have anything else, criticism wise until @Forsythe returns, but I will say well done. This is presented in a nicer way than the original and fills in what I needed. As I said, we'll have to see what Forsythe thinks but you're looking good.

Reporting in o7@Forsythe

I have just figured out what you meant... it's a little guy saluting.
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