Danni: Hewwo! Danni: Its your favorite Pyro Hero! Danni: Danni Kingston! Danni: HotShot Danni: Dancer Boi! Danni: I know u need a contact photo so here are a few Danni: (Photo of Danni he sent Ben earlier) Danni: (Danni in his formal suit in the Multiversal Photoshoot) Danni: (Danni in his swimsuit, mid-spike of a volleyball 30ft in the air) Danni: (A cup of hot chocolate in his hands, whipped cream on his nose and laughing) Danni: Sooooooo Danni: I was thinking that you seem like Danni: Deeper scent kinda guy Danni: Do you like scents at the sauna? Danni: I got some great oils we can add to the stones if we go to an oldie sauna Danni: So fun Danni: Ben's been talking non-stop bout how amazing the trip is Danni: The photos are sups cool! Danni: Do u habe your schedule BTW? Danni: Ben's a freshie so I def don't have any classes with him Danni: But I might w/ u! Danni: I can introduce you ta the whole crew! Danni: Def after that intro Danni: Yikes Danni: But with a little Danni love Danni: We'll getxha in all their good graces! Danni: No one can stay mad at me for long so even if they're grumpy, I'll get all cute with them and bam, in the group! Danni: Thats what Imma do with Ben btw Danni: Gotta get him in with the squad, ya know? Danni: He told me you met at the skatepark Danni: And like omg, so cute! Danni: Love that tbh Danni: Gunna b such a cute story to tell your kids in the future Danni: Hm, opinion on sandals? Danni: Ugh, like sometimes I’m interested but like, I want ooooooold sandals styles not like flippities u know? Danni: Ugh, they made your calves look so gooooooooood Danni: Have u considered wearing sandals? Danni: U could def pull off a hot looking Hades. Danni: Esp. that pic u sent. Danni: Like just absi flat, done with everyone. Danni: So good tbh Danni: Wait, you a greekie or an eggy kid? Danni: Def a geekie but mmmm def considered the eggies u know Danni: Oh shiiiiiit Danni: It you! Danni: (Photo of a grumpy cat doll in a lucky cat position) Danni: Have u considered wearing a cat ear headband? Danni: I bet Ben would love that Danni: Hm Danni: Do you have piercings? Danni: You seem like a piercing guy Danni: Actually, I take that back Danni: I think you're the type of guy who is the loner, grumpy, button pushy guy on the outside Danni: But ur actually a softie who wants to be soft all the time Danni: I'll have to ask Ben Danni: He'll tell me Danni: Ugh I need mouthwash Danni: What brand should I get? Danni: I don't want it to be spicy thooo Danni: Ooh this purple one is in a pretty bottle should I get it Danni: Picture sent to Pa! Danni: Oh sheet, its the street! Danni: Its so preeeeetty Danni: Tho I guess it is part time soon Danni: Are u a partier or a homebody? Danni: Or are you like Danni: One of thoae people who like to party for 5 minutes and then go hone? Danni: Oh focus plant Danni: BRB!!!!
Chase: Don't get the purple it doesn't do anything. Also send a better photo for the contact, I liked the whisk one you sent Ben. Anyways I'm about to watch a movie so bye.
Danni: (Photo of Danni furiously mixing something in a bowl, frosting across one cheek.) Danni: Oooh this is a good one Danni: Good thing too! Danni: Cause I already promised to cook 4 u Danni: What movie? Danni: Tell me when u come back! Danni: Is it a mystery? Danni: A murder mystery? Danni: I liek them too but like Danni: So much blood gets my skin crawling Danni: I watched a movie bout zombies once - slept with Dee for like two nights Danni: Have u seen She-Ra? Danni: Not a movie, but def bingable Danni: Ben hasnt seen it either so u should watch it too Danni: You'd either like Scorpia or Catra I bet Danni: Probs Scorpia tbh Danni: You give relatable vibes
Chase: [Attachment - Image of Chase and Ben cuddling in bed, Chase is shirtless and pressing a kiss to Ben's cheek.]
Chase: I know it's late, but I woke up for some water. Anyways look at this little Cuddle Bug.
January 7th:
Danni: Heeeeeeeeey Danni: Heeeey Danni: So uh Danni: I feel like Danni: we kinda gotta talk about Danni: Spicy Danni: u know?
Chase: Spicy? Chase: Like the food for Ben?
Danni: On, no Danni: Spicy's my nickname for uh Danni: My bro's boyf Percy Danni: He um Danni: Mentioned some stuff? Danni: That's a little not chill?
Chase: … Chase: What stuff? Chase: …
Danni: Uuuum Danni: liek Danni: Trash cans Danni; And lockers Danni: And feelings Danni: And thats pretty not cool Danni: :/
Chase: Hey, mind if we chat about this later? Chase: Kinda want to enjoy the day with my boyfriend and that definitely harshest the vibe. Chase: But once he's asleep we can totally chat about this. Chase: I tend to stay up late anyways, usually just listen to music but we can chat Chase: It was…very not cool…I know… Chase: Please dont tell Ben. Chase: I don't want him to form different ideas of me Chase: I don't want the past to define me Chase: Just Chase: Later ok?
Danni: Ooo Danni: Okay Danni: Gotcha, gotcha Danni: Def love 2 hear that Danni: Whelp, hit me up bb!
Chase: I know it's like, late late, sorry Chase: Day got ahead of me Chase: Anyways, you up? Chase: I can chat if you'd like
Danni: I have soooo many regrets Danni: Put my phone on blast Danni: So I could wake up Danni: and I did not think Danni: about the dragon. Danni: I am v. Scratched up Danni: Bit yes, hi hello! Danni: I am here!!!
Chase: Sorry for the scratches Chase: So uh…what's up? Chase: Fuck Chase: idk how to start this man so just Say what you want or ask what you want or yell at me or whatever.
Danni: Well Danni: Ugh Danni: So Spic- Percy Danni: I'm kinda looking at him Danni: and then here at Ben Danni: And it feels… Danni: v. Samples Danni: A Smol Danni: Cute Danni: A little bit of a loner Danni: So i guess I just Danni: Why Spicy and not Ben?
Chase: Growth? Chase: [Attachment: GIF of a person saying Growth while mimicking a flower blooming] Chase: … Chase: Sorry I suck at these kinds of things Chase: It's a little hard to explain Chase: My therapist says its something called internalized homophobia Chase: Percy he uh Chase: He confessed his feelings for me and within that week a lot happened Chase: He ended up abandoning me after that Chase: I couldn't sort anything out Chase: I lashed out. Not just at him either… Chase: He did take the full brunt of most of it Chase: It was a dark time for me… Chase: Therapy helped a lot…
Danni: Aw, Chasey Danni: wait Danni: Gimme a sec Danni: Gotta Danni: when LGBTQIA+ individuals unconsciously adopt society's negative stereotypes, prejudices, and biases about homosexuality, directing them inward, leading them to self-hatred, guilt, denial of identity, low self esteem, anxiety, and depression Danni: ooooo Danni: u hated urself Danni: so you hurt smaller people Danni: aka the kid who confessed to u Danni: hm Danni: well that doesnt seem to be an issue anymore? Danni: was that the only reason u were a bully?
Chase: Yes? Chase: No? Chase: Maybe? Chase: There was a lot going on ok? Chase: I don't really know. We worked through a bit of it in Therapy Chase: They said its more complex than just that but that it was ‘a huge contributing factor’ to why it all started. Chase: It also didn't help that it was a cycle within my family Chase: We aren't talking about that though, I don't like talking about them
Danni: Hm Danni: I getcha, I getcha Danni: Hmmm Danni: Hmmmmm Danni: Hmmmmmmm Danni: I guess like Danni: R u going to therapy cause u want to Danni: Or R u going cause you have to? Danni: Like Danni: Do you want to be better Danni: Or do you like shoving people into lockers?
Chase: At first because I had to Chase: But I don't enjoy going now… Chase: I don't enjoy being a dick It just…happens sometimes. Comes out of me like some darkness i cant control Chase: Ironic right?
Danni: okay, okay, okay, okay, okay Danni: We can work with that Danni: The fam here is pretty firm believers in second chances Danni: So if you actually wanna change Danni: Then I'm pretty satisfied!!!! Danni: Pfft Danni: wait Danni: Doesn't that mean u have a hard time with ur powers?! Danni: But Danni: Hm Danni: We def gotta work on this history with Spicy Danni: Cause ur right Danni: Ben will get long just fine Danni: Spicy holds a grudge Danni: So like, Dee and I and Rillie Danni: Probs be chill Danni: Beanie and Leah's Danni: 50/50 Danni: Andy… Danni: We'll see how them hands are looking Danni: But clear the air with Spicy Danni: And you'll be good as gold! Danni: As long as ur honest about wanting to change with everyone Danni: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Danni: I will think - probs gunna have to have a sibling meeting Danni: Get some advice Danni: But Danni: I'm sorry ur going through it Danni: Not cool to let it out like that but Danni: you dont deserve to feel sucky Danni: If u need to cry, my room is available Danni: If u wanna look stronk for the boyf Danni :P
Chase: Thanks… Chase: I assume Beanie is Sabine, she's already threatened me enough over this Chase: Leah is…the mountain girl? She just gave me looks Chase: It'll be hard to talk to Percy again. He doesn't exactly want to see or hear from me Chase: I'm good without crying in your room thanks. But I appreciate the offer.
Danni: Ur therapist would def hard disagree Danni: Or u can just cuddle with a dragon! Danni: Dragon cuddles make everything better! Danni: Yeah… Danni: I did give Spicy that name for a reason lol Danni: Mountain girl Danni: 🤣🤣🤣 Danni: That's wild Danni: Omg Danni: But in all seriesness Danni: U need help Danni: Or a place to hide for a bit Danni: If things get spicy Danni: Lmk Danni: I'll be there to help!
Chase: You don't even know me? Chase: Why would you Chase: Thanks…for being a friend Chase: I'll let you know if I need help.
Beyond the detours of the past two days, having had to skip the Lassen Volcanic Park, Chase was determined to get back on schedule. He had already modified their plans, changing the events for the days to come along with what time they'd be coming back home. For now, they stood within the massive forest of Redwood National Park. A new stamp freshly painted onto Ben's cheek, a photo sent off to Matt, and several more having been sent to Danni. There were many things that Chase had learned to love and enjoy during this trip, but even beyond the sounds and looks he got from Ben during prayer, his favorite thing was the way Ben entered his own world when surrounded by nature and the chatter of bugs.
The forest offered them a serene and moody atmosphere. The cold having kept many others at bay offering them complete solitude within the vibrant mist covered forest. The trees stood tall like mountains, the ground was wet and cold with a layer of snow, it felt like another world. A realm beyond their own.
Ben was a little breathless as they entered the Redwood forest. It was gorgeous. The trees towered over them. The air was crisp and cold. He shivered a little, pulling the hoodie around himself a little more, and lifted the hood. It didn’t stay there long though, as he looked up at the tree boughs overhead. Ben tilted his head a little, listening, for something only he could hear. Technically he didn’t use his ears to communicate with the insects. Their noises had meaning, but it wasn’t the only way they communicated, insects used pheromones and for Ben the information came in almost like they spoke directly into his mind.
”This place is beautiful,” he said in almost a whisper. There was little need for that, as the park was almost empty. The trails in many places were still thick with snow as not many people had walked through there yet to smash it down.
Chase simply smiled, an almost whisper back as he replied. ”Yeah, it is.” He wasn't looking at the forest however, his eyes firmly fixed on Ben Moss. The sheer beauty of his boyfriend that equally awed him and made him feel inferior. He saw so much good in him, so much beauty, it made Chase see just how far he'd fallen. But he didn't focus on that, not now, only on the radiance that was Ben.
Ben turned to face Chase, a huge smile on his face. ”Time to hike, and find a good spot to find bugs and for you to draw and paint.” He held out his hand, taking Chase’s and starting down the path.
Chase hurried to Ben's side, taking his hand in his as he used his free one to look at the park map with trails. Just enough to not get lost, but allowing Ben's senses to lead them where they would need to go. He wanted to paint, to do the scenery, but he found that more pages were of Ben than the parks recently. He felt stupid. But the London accent made him melt. ”Yeah yeah, let's go find you some critters to dance with.”
Ben laughed, he wasn’t so sure about dancing, but he did want to find a good spot for insects. He half led the way through the woods, following marked trails, until he found a clearing. It looked like a picnic spot, but the tables were covered with snow.
”This should be a good spot. We can clear off one of the tables for you, and it is a big enough clearing I can wander about without bothering you, and find all the cool insects here. Though, the snow will definitely have them hiding more than usual.”
”You? Bother me? Impossible. But I appreciate the sentiment.” Chase pulled his hand inside one of his sleeves. Gripping the hem of it as he used it to clear off all of the snow that was on the table and chair before sitting down. ”That's what the dancing for. To help them come out. Like using vibrations to call worms to the surface, you gotta groove with the forest to bring out its underlife.” Chase danced in place as he sat before finally pulling out his supplies.
Ben wasn’t sure if that would work. The idea of doing it felt embarrassing. He did not want to go dancing around a public place like that. Sure, there weren’t a lot of people around right now. In fact the place was nearly deserted. There were obvious signs of people, and even a dog, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t walk into the clearing as Ben was dancing about like a fool.
”I don’t know about that,” he said, his face redder than could be explained by cold or exertion. ”I’ll just wander around like normal I think.”
Chase had already begun to sketch the trees, the scenery. Hardly looking up, a grin on his face at the notion of Ben doing a little jig for the bugs. ”Go forth my King, wander the grounds within my sight and remember, not all who wander are lost.” He placed in a little ben doing the twist in his drawing, adding some wiggle lines around it to show off the motion.
Ben laughed and wandered off to the tree lined. The clearing wasn't too big, definitely destined for a larger group to have a picnic. Ben wasn't sure if it was a camping area or just for picnics.
The snow made it difficult for him, but he crunched his way through it. He started looking for bugs, it took him a little longer than usual, but soon he was crouched down chatting to one.
”Bring me back something cool! Gotta photograph every bug this trip” Chase called out to Ben before proceeding with his drawings.
”Will do!” The next few hours were spent in relative quiet. Ben coming over to Chase occasionally with a bug to show him. Pictures would be taken, and shared with Danni and Matt. As the day became evening, and the park went into ‘closed’ or camping mode, they left and found a cheaper hotel to stay at. The definition of cheaper was much more broad than it had been the day before.
The next day was much the same. They hiked to a different spot and followed the pattern they had found between themselves. The Redwoods were beautiful, and despite the lost stop at Lassen they had a lot of fun during the trip as a whole.
Ben loved the massive trees, and enjoyed clambering around searching for little hidey holes. He was smart enough, and at this point had seen enough signs, to stay on the trail. The only time he had wandered into the woods was the night in the cathedral tree with Chase. If it hadn’t been for the ski lodge, that likely would have cemented itself as his favorite night of the trip.
Consideration for stopping once an hour had to be made, they drove back to Redding for the night of the 11th. Since the drive from Redwoods National Park to L.A. proper took twelve hours, without stopping. Even the reduced time from Redding wouldn’t be enough to mean they weren’t getting back to LA until it was fairly late.
They ate dinner the night of the 11th at a drive-in BBQ joint that had been a town staple since the 1950s. The food there was delicious. Ben who had never had brisket was amazed at how tender a cut of meat that was normally considered a trash piece could get. It helped that it was slow cooked over low fire for twelve hours.
Jan 12th, Returning Home
It was at minimum a ten hour drive from Redding to LA. That was without traffic. So they had to leave early, as soon as Ben had had enough rest, the sun wasn’t even up. Something Ben found personally offensive to his sleep schedule. If he didn’t hate being in a car, he might have still fallen asleep in it.
One of the stops was at a 7-11 to get ICEEs. Ben tried a little of each flavor and ended up making a suicide of the flavors. He liked the drink, but was of the opinion that he would prefer it in the heat of summer over the dead of winter. He had spent most of this trip shivering at least a little bit.
Surprisingly, and fortunately for Chase, Medieval Times was a twenty-four hour business. They got into town late and got a slot for dinner at the Ren fair turned restaurant.
Ben did in fact enjoy the spectacle. The food wasn't his favorite aspect, but that was alright. The show was worth it.
After dinner the pair of them found a quiet street to park and attempt something Ben had been dreading. They soon were to part ways and wouldn’t have alone time again until they were at school. They both wanted one more opportunity at praying. Ben’s concern lay solely at the feet of his claustrophobia. Chase tried something that was only partially successful. He attempted to open the space of the back of the jeep using his shadows. No limbs were lost, but it was definitely not the ideal way for them to try. Chase had a hard time managing the shadows while he was busy.
Finally they arrived at Ben’s home. He was tired, dragging his feet a little. The last day had been rough, he had pushed the once an hour breaks to his max limit and was still a little emotionally worn out. He’d be perfectly content not being in a car for another month.
Matt opened the door and hugged Ben tightly, before inviting Chase to come inside for a bit.
”So how was the trip, kiddo?” Matt asked once they were all inside. Ben’s bag had been tossed into his room.
”It was great! We saw some great hiking places, and bugs. You’ve seen basically all the bugs. Oh! And we rescued one little guy. Damn, where did I put Titan!”
Shadows swirled beneath Chase's hand like smoke before Titan appeared within its case in his grasp. ”Really should keep a better eye on him.” Chase grinned before kicking his converse off and placing them into the holder. ”Hey Mr. Moss, how was the quiet kid free week?”
”Thank you,” Ben said, a bit embarrassed. He held the terrarium, he’d put him away with the others in a bit.
”It was nice, I got some reading and cleaning done. Though, happy to have Ben back here. It got a little too quiet,” Matt told Chase. ”Did you have a good time Chase?”
”Loads! Where've you been hiding him all this time? Cali feels like it was so dull now after meeting him.” Chase ruffled Ben's hair before beginning to stretch. ”Surely you missed me as well? I've been told I've got a charming personality and adorable face by my rents.”
”We’ve only been here a little bit of time.” Matt glanced at Ben, gauging his reaction. Matt knew that Ben wasn’t comfortable talking about his parents yet. ”Really, we hadn’t even finished unpacking when you two met at the skate park. And yes, I did miss you too.”
Ben pulled away a little bit from Chase’s ruffling, he reached up and fixed his hair. He nodded, slightly at his Uncle when Matt started to explain them moving here.
”Before the Contest we went to his apartment in San Francisco, after the contest we moved here.” He gestured to the room, indicating the whole house. ”We really only had been here a few days when we ran into each other at the skate park.
”Awe! I knew you'd miss me!” Chase gave Matt a quick hug before venturing further into the house. He looked around the space, clearly Matt had had some time to unpack a bit more while they were away. A shelf of…robots? Off to one side. A passion project maybe? ”I'd say it was fate but I'm almost always there. So you lived in San Fran before all this? You'll love LA, its…different, but it has its own charm. I could show you some good local spots for food, unless you cook yourself.” Chase had wandered over towards the Gundams, curiously staring at the figures as he kept his hands in his pockets.
”I do some cooking, if you’re hungry, there is spaghetti. I lived there for work. But I recently got a desk job so I could move down here for Ben to go to school.” Matt watched as Chase explored the space. ”That does sound nice though.”
”I did not live in San Francisco. At least not more than a couple of weeks, while getting paperwork finished, getting adopted, and school stuff,” Ben said a little stiffly. The time in San Francisco felt like a weird dream. Everything from the death of his parents until the last couple of weeks felt like it happened to someone else.
Chase raised an eyebrow at Ben. He knew Ben was new new to the area, unsure as to why he felt the need to specify that one. Then again, Chase had assumed Ben went straight from London to LA. ”Got any meatballs to go with it Mr. M?”
”I do.” Matt led the way to the kitchen. ”Ben do you want any?”
”I’ll take a small portion. I’m going to put Titan in the terrarium,” Ben said and backed out of the room going to his room with the little plastic terrarium that Chase had given him. In his room he took a few slow breaths. God he hated trying to lie or keep a secret. He set about getting Titan set up.
In the kitchen, Matt opened the fridge and pulled out the dish with the left overs of spaghetti, and a second container with the meat balls. From the cupboards he pulled out a couple of plates, and from a drawer came forks.
”How much do you want, Chase?” Matt asked, ”And I know it is pretty late, so if you want you can crash here. We have an air mattress I can blow up for you. We’ll just let your folks know.”
”I can text the rents, though chances are they already know. No need for the air mattress though. Im good on a couch, prefer it actually.” Chase didn't bother answering about his portion. Grabbing a small size but adding about four meatballs to the plate. He bit into one of them, looking surprised at how delicious it was. He finished chewing before finally asking. ”What's with the robot figures?” Chase leaned against the counter as he continued to eat.
”Don’t want that heated? I’m sure it’ll taste better warmed.” He served the second plate for Ben, and popped it into the microwave. ”The Gundam? It’s a nice little thing to do that is a little meditative. Also I was a fan of the show when I was your age. Still am to be honest.”
”Still am what?” Ben asked coming back into the room, the microwave beeped and Matt took out the food for him as he answered.
”A fan of an old anime called Gundam,” he said gesturing to the display case.
”I'm used to cold meals, it's fine.” Chase stabbed another meatball. ”So wait did you build all of those Gundams? Sick. So what's the anime about? I've seen a few but not that one. Then again that was…how long ago? Shit, sorry i meant like, its not on TV.”
”Yeah, I made them. I don’t have any kits right now, or I’d show you the process if you were interested. But I need to find a store that sells them. The anime has been running in one form or another since 1979. In general it is about the cost of war. All while cool robots fight each other in space.” Matt was smiling, he enjoyed talking about Gundam and was considering putting on one of the shows for them. He wasn’t sure where to start though. There was a lot of material to watch, read, and in general consume when it came to Gundam.
Ben nodded listening to the conversation. He ate his spaghetti. He wasn’t super hungry, but it was very good. He had also seen some anime, but wasn’t what he’d call a fan of it. Mostly whatever was popular at the time.
”Oh sweet. So a mecha anime that talks about the follies of war. That I can get behind. It's giving futuristic Princess Mononoke kinda. Not exactly the same, but similar vibes. So you were like, a total nerd growing up?”
Matt laughed, ”Yeah, I was, still am.”
”He has anime posters in his room,” Ben said around his bite of spaghetti.
”You're lying. Really?!” Chase propped off the counter as he bounced on his heels. ”Can I see?”
”Sure thing.” Matt left the kitchen area and led the way to the bedrooms. He opened his bedroom door and flicked on the lights. There were shelves with more Gundam, and figures for a few other things. On the walls were posters of Gundam, Godzilla, One Piece and Neon Genesis Evangelion.
”No way!” Chase wanted to abandon the plate all together, but had nowhere to set it down once in Matt's room. He beelined it towards the Godzilla figures. ”Ok so a very cool nerd. Ben you didn't mention your uncle liked Godzilla! I tried getting Benny Boi here to watch Minus Color the other day and he didn't have it.”
”I said that I knew Godzilla, but wasn’t feeling it. Not that I didn’t know it, or that I hadn’t seen it before. I’ve seen a couple of them,” Ben said, he had a bite of food half way to his mouth.
”I wanted to watch something I hadn’t seen, and I had never seen Mazerunner,” Ben shrugged.
”One of these days I’ll get him to watch all of the movies,” Matt said a little wistfully.
”You ever seen Mazerunner? I've been told that l look like the main character.” Chase asked before shoveling some spaghetti into his mouth, having made his way over towards Matt's bed and sat on the edge of it.
Matt tilted his head thinking, the motion surprisingly like Ben sometimes did when listening for insects. ”I’ve seen it, yeah. It’s been, probably since it came out though. I just remember the one kid from Love Actually.”
”I stand by, that I can see the comparison, but... it’s not a perfect match in my opinion.” Ben’s face went red as he realized what he almost said. Almost mentioning that he thought Chase looked better than the actor.
”Personally I don't see it. But I'll take the compliment. Never even heard of Love Actually. Sounds like some Shakespeare type nonsense.” Chase had taken to scooting back onto the bed and sitting criss-cross as he ate his food.
Matt winced as Chase scooted more onto the bed with his spaghetti. He kept it to himself for now though. That was par for the course with kids and he knew that. Messes happened.
Ben finished off his spaghetti, and leaned against the door jam. He wanted to sit next to Chase, but didn’t want to risk it.
”Not Shakespeare, or at least not a direct Shakespear to my knowledge. But it was a romance movie. Came out in the early 2000s, god, like 2005 maybe. Anyway, if you are going to stay the night, you can stay on the couch if that is really what you prefer, but I do need confirmation from your folks that it is alright.”
Chase pulled out his phone, leaving the plate of spaghetti precariously placed atop his knee. Instantly his phone buzzed and he simply turned the phone to show Matt the text from Morgan that just read ‘It's fine.’ With the date and time stamp to show she had just sent it. ”It's weird, I know.”
”Yeah, that’s going to take some getting used to,” Matt said as he looked at the phone confirming that it was Morgan and had really just been sent. ”I’ll get you some pillows and blankets.”
Ben tried to catch Chase’s attention and mouthed, ”Wait what?” As Matt went to a closet and pulled out a spare bed set. He went to the living room and made up the couch.
Chase wiggled his eyebrows at Ben after Matt left the room. Mouthing back in silence ‘I'm staying the night. He likes me.’ With a shit eating grin on his face as he ate more of his spaghetti.
Ben’s smile grew massive, he pumped his fist, in a quiet cheer. He wasn’t 100% sure if Matt would have been so accommodating if he knew.
Matt from the other room shouted, ”Do you want to watch something before going to sleep?”
Chase got up off the bed, finishing his meal before going to the kitchen to wash his plate as he answered back. ”Kinda wanna take a shot at this Gundam stuff. How bout you Benny Boi?”
”Sure, sounds good to me,” Ben said following after Chase, putting his plate in the sink.
”Alright, I’ll cue it up.” Matt smiled. He was happy to share his interests with Ben, and if Chase made that easier than that was fine with him.
Chase finished washing his plate before moving onto Ben's, all as Matt set up the show for them to watch. Once he was finished he'd hopped over the arm of the chair where the pillows lay as he snuggled himself into the corner of the armrest. ”Alrighty, ready.”
Matt and Ben sat down too. Ben taking the middle seat, sitting slightly closer to Chase than Matt. It was maybe two episodes into Gundam that Ben finally fell fully asleep. He had been drifting, struggling a little to stay awake, as he was interested in the show, but he was more tired than interested. When he fell asleep he slumped into Chase.
Chase looked down at Ben, sleeping on him, and smiled. ”I think someone's tired.” He looked at Matt, biting back a bit of laughter. ”I got this.” A blanket of darkness slipped over Ben before he finally vanished and reappeared in his own bed, tucked into his sheets as the shadows made sure he wasn't too snug before they vanished. ”Oh…did uh, Benny Boi tell you?” Chase was facing the TV, the lights and colors of the show flashing across his face as he thought about Ben's claustrophobia.
Ben didn’t notice, he was sound asleep and continued to sleep after being transferred to his bed. He was still in his clothes and hadn’t brushed his teeth, but he was long gone caring about that sort of thing.
”Thank you. I could have taken him, but I think that was smoother,” Matt adjusted himself on the couch, considering going to bed himself. He paused, ”Tell me what?”
”He's claustrophobic.” Chase turned to face Matt, a bit of a worried look upon his face. ”Found it out during the trip, nothing major I promise. But it's why he has such a hard time with showers and car rides. He needs more space, needs to not feel…trapped. Not sure what the shower here is like but it seems ADA type showers were ok for him.” Chase shrugged, pulling his knees up to his chest as he wrapped his arms around his legs.
Matt nodded, ”Yeah he mentioned it. He didn’t really explain how you guys figured it out, or what it meant. So thank you for that. Makes some sense. He probably doesn’t remember, but when he was hmm, I think four or five years old, he and his paternal grandmother were in an elevator. It got stuck for several hours. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. That might be why. He hated the apartment because it was either a rickety elevator or three flights of stairs. He took the stairs every time. Unfortunately, the shower here is not great. Mine isn’t any better than his, otherwise I’d let him use it.”
Chase had expected it to be the terrigensis that had triggered it all, but it seemed even more deeply rooted than that. The transformation probably didn't help though. ”I hadn't even thought about elevators. Stairs aren't too bad, I can take stairs. I know what it's like to have been trapped in a small space, I don't want him to feel like that again. So I'm trying to keep all these things in mind. No drives longer than an hour, elevators, making sure he has enough space around too many people. It's…” Chase shook his head. ”Sorry. Just, thinking outloud.”
”Chase, don’t apologize for caring about my nephew. I’m glad he found a friend here. I was... worried,” Matt paused. ”He was so closed off. He was in a sort of fugue state it seemed like. But since he became friends with you he is like that kid I remember from before. So thank you.”
”You're tellin me. Back at the contest he tried pushing me away, but I could tell he was in some sort of a funk. I've been there, I recognized it, I pushed through. When I saw him again at the skate park alone, well no one is truly alone at a skatepark. So I nudged at him again, glad he didn't push back that time.” Chase bit his lower lip, his hands gripping at the sides of his jeans as he tried not to cry. His voice betrayed him however, wavering in small bits as he spoke. ”I'm glad I could help.”
Matt nodded in agreement, he patted Chase on the shoulder. ”You did good.” There seemed to be an implied “now don’t fuck it up,” but what Matt acutally said was, ”I’m going to go to bed too. You good? Need anything?”
Chase shook his head. ”I'm fine. I'd watch more but I dont wanna get ahead of Bug Boi. Thanks for letting me stay Mr. M. You're cool for that.”
”No problem.” Matt stood up and turned off the T.V. ”Good night, Chase. Sleep well.” He left the room heading to bed.
”You too.” Chase pulled on the shadows to grab his over ear headphones, slipping them on as he laid down on the couch, playing some of Ben's music. The only issue with a sleep over at another's place was the fact that Chase himself couldn't sleep.
Jan 13th, Morning
Matt woke up at his normal time, washed his face, went to the bathroom and changed into running clothes. He started a pot of coffee, checked in on Chase sleeping on the couch. He left a note on the counter so if the kids woke up before he got back from his morning run they wouldn’t be worried, and then went out for his normal run.
Chase waited. Eyes closed as he lay there on the couch. It was a trauma response, to count how long it had been since an adult left the house (or room). They typically always came back at least once if not gone longer than a count of ten. He counted till twenty to be safe. With Matt firmly gone, Chase had gotten up and locked the front door. If anything he was keeping the house safe, as he went over to Ben's room and slipped into his bed, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him closer before giving him a kiss good morning. ”Wakey wakey. Uncles gone for a bit it seems, thought maybe a little…makeout sesh?”
Ben started to wake and made little noises of displeasure at being woken up, but as his brain caught up with what was happening he woke up very quickly. ”He go for his run?” Ben asked, ”He usually is gone about 45 minutes for that.”
Ben lifted his head up a bit, looking at Chase, he gave Chase a light kiss. ”Good morning. You do okay? Sorry for just passing out on you. Wait... how did I get to bed?”
”I moved you, it's fine. Wait 45 min? Like exactly? Could we uh…” Chase bit his lower lip as his eyes looked down on Ben.
”Pray?” Ben smiled, brightly. ”And no, not exactly, he doesn’t keep the same route everytime. But he likes to do at least thirty minutes. Sometimes a full hour.”
”Lets hope for a full hour but pray for a bit less.” Chase grinned. It wasn't what he'd had in mind, he was simply wanting to make out and hang but if they had the time.
Ben nodded, and shifted so they could ‘pray’. He sent one bug out his open window. ”Early warning system,” he explained.
Matt was gone an hour, he had stopped off at the store and grabbed ingredients to make waffles. This had given them plenty of time, and with the early warning from one of Ben’s bugs they were able to set up looking like they definitely hadn’t been doing anything Matt would disapprove of.
Chase had unlocked the front door once more, trying to leave any ounce of suspicion off of them. Settled into the living room as the episode they left off on from the show was playing on the TV. He was close to Ben, but not enough to suggest more than friendship.
”You kids sleep alright?” Matt asked from the kitchen as he started to empty the grocery bags and prep making waffles. ”Chase, do you like eggs, bacon, and waffles? Any allergies?”
”Yeah I slept great. Sorry for falling asleep on you during the show.”
”Heh, no worries about that. I fell asleep during Akira I still don’t think I’ve finished that.”
”I'll eat anything basically. So no worries on that Mr. M. I slept just fine, thanks for the pillows.”
”Glad to hear that. Alright. I’ll make them scrambled because I know Ben prefers his eggs that way.” Matt continued making noises in the kitchen as he started making breakfast.
”Thanks Uncle Matt.”
Chase looked at Ben, trying not to laugh. A strange sense of giddiness at the thought of what they'd just done without Matt even knowing. He wiggled his eyebrows at Ben. ”Scrambles great. Usually a sunny up fried kinda guy but I'm not picky.”
Ben grinned back at Chase. He had parallel thoughts about getting away with it. He was surprised a little bit. Matt was pretty perceptive. The pair of them watched more Gundam while Matt cooked. Soon he finished though and brought out two plates to them.
”If you wanna eat on the couch, Ben grab the T.V. trays. Or you can eat at the table.” One plate had scrambled eggs, bacon, and a waffle covered in peanut butter. The other had a sunny side up egg, bacon and a waffle without any toppings. ”I wasn’t sure what you wanted on your waffle, but we have syrup and jams.”
Chase was a little shocked. He hadn't expected Matt to make him his own styled eggs. It would've been easier to scramble a bunch and serve that instead. He wasn't exactly great at hiding it either. ”Thanks.” He stared at the plate a bit before finally going to dig in, using his knife to carefully cut around the yolk of his eggs so that the whites were fully separated and the uncooked yolks stood alone and unbroken on the plate. ”Syrups great, or fruit, or anything.” He didn't want to seem ungrateful.
Ben hopped up and grabbed the T.V. trays, he slid one in front of Chase, took his own plate from his Uncle and sat back down.
”I’ve got some blue berries.” Matt went back into the kitchen and came back a few moments later with the bottle of real syrup, and a bowl of berries.
Ben dug into his own breakfast, it wasn’t beans on toast, but he enjoyed his uncle’s cooking. ”Thank you,” he said around a mouthful of waffle. ”Hmm, Chase, want something to drink?”
Chase looked at Ben, his eyes wanting to say to stop. They'd already done so much he couldn't ask for more. ”I'm fine thanks.” He picked up the egg whites and ate them first, making his way towards the bacon next before grabbing some of the blueberries and adding them atop his waffles.
Ben rolled his eyes, and looked up at his Uncle. ”Black coffee for him, please.”
”And your tea is probably ready too,” Matt said, leaving one more time to the kitchen. He came back with a mug of coffee, black, for Chase, and Ben’s regular tea.
Chase gently kicked Ben, mouthing at him to stop before throwing his head back as he wanted to groan. He took the mug from Matt, placing it onto the tray. ”Thanks Mr. M.”
”No problem, kid. You’re good. You’re a guest.” Matt went back into the kitchen gathering his own food and drink. He joined them on the couch, ”Hold this,” he told Ben, handing over his plate and grabbing another T.V. tray. He sat down and took his plate back from Ben.
Chase was quiet as he cut apart his waffle into small squares before finally beginning to eat them bit by bit, taking sips of coffee in between bites. He knew he was a guest, but even still. It was times like these he didn't like to take up space. Then he realized it was more he wasn't allowed to back then.
Breakfast was delicious. After, Matt told Ben to take a shower and get dressed, it seemed to almost be out of habit because as soon as he said it he winced.
”We’ll talk about the shower.” Ben nodded.
”Thanks.”
The rest of the day they watched Gundam and chatted. Matt eventually had to do some work so went to his office. Later that day Danni came over and the three of them hung out while he made Gnocchi.
Six hours and many stops later, Chase finally was able to pull them into their hotel for the night. He'd paid cash, courtesy of one of the wallets from the nicer hotel they'd stayed at, and took Ben up towards their room. He of course booked an ADA room once again, now knowing this had to be a staple given Ben's condition. As soon as they opened the door to the room Chase through his bags off to the side of the room. ”I'd fall on the bed if I didn't feel so gross. Don't need to dirty the sheets before we even sleep in them.”
Ben glanced into the bathroom as they entered and smiled as he saw the shower space. Spending time with Chase in the shower aside, he was wildly grateful for the large open space. If Chase had wanted to shower in a little cubicle of a shower he could do that, Ben was not getting into one that small. He wondered briefly what the school shower set up was like. Did they have floor bathrooms that everyone shared, or private ones?
”Shower then? Do you know if this place has laundry? Or will we want to hit up a laundry mat again?” He was ready to shed his pants that had gotten muddy, though that had been hours ago so it was just dry and dusty now. Ben checked on Titan, the only bug he was traveling with. The little rescue from beetle rock. Ben wondered if he had told Chase that Danni had helped him name the little guy.
”I made sure it had laundry. You seemed to really get in it with those bugs, but seemed put off by the idea of dirty clothes the other day so I tried finding a place with one.” Chase began to strip off his clothes, tossing his shirt one way, kicking his pants in the opposite direction, and just standing there in only his boxers and socks for a moment before he made his way into the bathroom. Last thing he needed was his feet on frigid cold tiles.
Ben admired Chase for a moment then, followed suit, removing his clothes, and following after Chase into the bathroom. ”Thank you. I do have a second pair of trousers with me, but it’s good to have clean pants.” Ben grinned a little, knowing that the phrasing would sound weird to American ears.
Chase paused for a moment, cocking his head and turning on his heels to face Ben. He'd heard some rustling, but wasn’t expecting Ben to be stripped down and behind him. He turned away shyly as his heart skipped a beat before turning to face him again. ”So which is it? Trousers or Pants? Pick a lane.”
”Well, I also have extra pants with me. I would not be running around for ten days with only one pair. That’d be insane,” Ben said a shit eating grin on his face.
Several expressions ran through Chase's face all at once. Wiping them clean with his hand as he rubbed his face. ”I…” He walked up to Ben and placed his hands on his hips. Looking at him for a good long second before giving him a kiss. ”You drive me crazy you know that right?”
Ben laughed. ”Pants are what you are wearing right now. Trousers go over that,” he explained.
Chase put on a faux British accent as he pointed down to Ben's boxers. ”Here I thought those were your knickers.”
”Unless you’re a girl, you are wearing pants.”
”Actually.” Chase pulled off the rest before kicking off his socks and turning on the hot water. ”I'm not even wearing that. Are you joining or just standing there for show?”
”Hmmm, the show is pretty good,” Ben said, a smile on his face as he looked Chase up and down.
”You little perv.” Chase quickly covered himself with one hand before laughing. He moved into the now hot water, letting it warm him up as he closed his eyes for a brief second. ”Youre more than welcome to stand there, I like what I see too.”
Ben bit his lip, letting his gaze slowly return to Chase’s face. ”The view is good, but you know. I think there are other ways to enjoy such pieces of art.” He started laughing at his own cheesiness.
”Oh my god. You are such a dork!” Chase laughed. ”Fortunately for you though, that's exactly my cuppa tea. Speaking of, we should get some after to help stay warm.” He motioned with his head for Ben to come and join him..
”Tea is always the correct answer.” Ben agreed and finished removing his clothes. He stepped into the warm water. It felt good to be with Chase. Even in a damn shower. It helped that the shower was big enough that he couldn’t touch the walls all at the same time.
The second Ben stepped into the shower, Chase wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him in close. Kissing him before giving him another kiss on his forehead. He stared at Ben, holding him as he tried to figure out how to ask something without seeming the tiny bit jealous that he had been feeling. ”Sooo…”
Ben stood up on his toes a little to kiss Chase on the lips. ”So?”
Chase rested his forehead against Ben's, closing his eyes as he let the water hit his back as he thought to himself What're you doin man? Don't ruin a good thing.” He let out sigh before he shook his head slightly. ”Nothin Benny Boi, I was just being stupid is all.”
”That was a big sigh. Are you sure?” Ben asked softly, suddenly nervous. He had gotten used to a few things during this trip, gotten better at reading Chase’s mood, but that didn’t mean he was good at it. Not yet.
Chase’s heart stopped. Nerves shot within him as Ben called him out, politely sure, but all the same. He was silent. Didn't know what to say or do. He rested his chin atop Ben's head. ”No. Yes? I dont know man.”
”We’ve talked about some heavy subjects. We haven’t lied yet,” Ben paused. ”Are you mad at me?” He wasn’t sure if Chase was, but of all things that would make Chase hesitant to talk, that seemed likely.
”No my sweet King, I am not mad at you. Just myself. I know it's dumb, but…you were on your phone a whole lot more than usual on the drive today, I also noticed that your house music had shifted beyond your usual tastes and…I dunno, I got a little jealous that's all. But I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to your friends or other people or anything so, yeah…it's stupid.”
Ben nodded, he had been a little worried, but Danni had started the ‘20 question’ game and he had gotten wrapped up in the conversation. More than he should have. Especially when alone with his boyfriend.
”Danni asked me about what music I liked. He recommended those songs. I wanted to listen to them. They were pretty good. Your feelings aren’t stupid.” Ben could hear his mom in the statement. The way she’d smile and make him a cup of tea and sit with him to talk about it, whatever was bothering him. Damn. The world sucked without her. He felt tears burn at the edges of his eyes and he pressed himself against Chase, tucking his chin to hide them.
”We got into this conversation, and were asking each other questions back and forth. And it was fun. I liked getting to know him better. Do you want to do the same thing? They were dumb questions but sort of helped me. I guess.” He tried to focus on that, the water, Chase, anything but the past.
Chase felt the moment Ben pressed in harder. He instantly went to hold Ben tighter as he felt his words reverberating in his chest every time Ben spoke. ”Hey hey hey, it's ok, it's ok. Don't – ah fuck, see this is why I didn't want to say anything, I didn't want to upset you. It's fine, really, I just – I need to get over myself that’s all. I've spent so long being selfish recently that it's hard for me to pull back from it sometimes ok? Just, don't get upset.”
Chase rubbed Ben's back with one hand as he cradled his head with the other. Mentally chastising himself for clearly upsetting Ben over something so stupid. His voice was low, a whisper with a tinge of gravelyness to it. ”Yeah, we can uh, we can do that if you'd like.”
”You didn’t upset me,” Ben said softly. ”It’s just that was one of my mum’s sayings. Feelings aren’t stupid.” Ben shook his head and pulled away slightly so he could look at Chase.
”I don’t want to hurt you. I like Danni, he’s my friend, and I don’t want to hurt him either. I’ve spent all day talking with him and thinking over what you said. I don’t know if anything would happen, but I want us three to be friends. That’s important to me. My round table can have platonic friendships.” Ben thought Danni was cute, and sweet and funny. But he didn’t know even after figuring out how he felt about Chase if that meant he liked him in the same way. It was hard to know over text. Hell, his solution for figuring out if he liked Chase more than a friend was just to kiss him. So he really wasn’t in a position to make any decisions.
”I’d like to. I’ll share my answers of what Danni asked me too.”
Chase wanted to protest, say that some feelings were in fact stupid, but he didn't want to argue against the memory of Ben's late mother. He may not have cared for his own parents too well, but Ben clearly did and Chase wasn't about to try and tarnish those memories. Chase bit his lip, thinking about Ben's response to his round table. His heart fell still again. ”You said not cheating. I'll hold you to that, just…if anything feels like it might happen… let me know first? Maybe? Fuck, I don't know. Just forget I even said that just now, so these questions is it like set ones? Or we coming up with our own?”
”No cheating,” Ben promised again. ”I won’t lie to you. As for the questions we were just bouncing them back and forth. I was coming up with some, but then I ended up googling questions to ask. And while I was there I googled a few other words. Kind of trying to understand stuff,” he let out a small sigh. ”But yeah, he asked me what my favorite song was. I told him and he sent back those songs. I’d have to look at the messages to remember exactly the conversation, but it is stuff like ‘do you have any siblings?’” Ben was pretty certain Chase didn’t, they had talked about his past, but not much about before he had been kidnapped. So he wasn’t 100% sure. ”I already knew he had siblings so I asked if they were alike. I don’t have any. I’m an only child. I have cousins on my dad’s side, but no one on my mum’s. Obviously, she only had Matt as a brother and he can’t have kids.”
Chase’s heart fell into his stomach shortly after Ben began to speak, only beginning to clear up as Ben continued on with his statement. For a moment there he believed Ben was going to state he wanted to he with Danni, or worse with Danni instead of him. He didnt know what to think at the moment, what to say. Ben had said so much and moved past so many things. He decided to start with what felt like the most obvious question, regardless of how badly he wanted to tease Ben about not even asking him for his own musical tastes. ”What else did you google?”
This was a weird conversation to be having in the shower, Ben thought, ”Uh, well I googled poly. I sort of had heard the term before, but didn’t really know what it meant. That’s why I didn’t understand what you were trying to say this morning. I understood that people don’t have relationships with just one person, but I didn’t know the word for it, or all that it could mean, which is a lot.”
Ben was quiet for a moment, ”What did you first think of me when we met, at the contest? Why did you approach me like that?”
”Oh. So uh, what'd you think of it? Poly I mean. Not that I'm interested in it or disinterested, just…curious.” Chase smiled at the question. ”I told you already. I saw a cute guy, and I approached you. There wasn't too much beyond that. I don't know why I did it really, I just…did. I'm glad I did though.”
”I’m glad you did too,” Ben admitted. ”Hmm, I think that it makes sense in a way. It seems like a lot of responsibility. One relationship is already difficult, more than one, you have even more things to worry about. But, I think that if... if it were people who liked each other, if everyone was good with it, I think that’d be nice.” Ben had spent a good amount of the car ride looking up different terms. He didn’t think it’d be an issue if it were a hinge situation, but he’d want a kitchen table relationship. One where everyone knew each other and hung out. He wouldn’t want to stress out trying to divide his time. Maybe occasionally he’d be fine with one on one dates, but he was used to groups.
Ben thought about what to ask next. Some of the questions with Danni had felt like filler, around his actual question. To ease tension between one question and the next. ”Let’s finish showering. We can keep going after, and I can read you the ones I answered for Danni.”
Chase nodded. Trying to think about how he'd feel about sharing his time with Ben with another person. Sure he said it was fine with Danni because of the issues he had with being abandoned. But actually thinking about sharing his dating time? Like Ben being off with another person romantically and alone while Chase was left behind? He didn't exactly like that idea, at least he wasn't sure if he could. ”Shower first then, and questions and tea after.”
The shower, after that, went by quickly. They cleaned up, and continued to chat a bit, but about unimportant things, like what they wanted for dinner. That still hadn’t been fully decided by the time they were toweling off and changing into clean dry clothes. Ben’s dirty ones in a few piles between the main room and the bathroom, Chase’s no different, if not a bit more spread out. Ben grabbed his phone and pulled up the text log. God they had talked a lot. He scrolled back to the start of the 20 questions game. He considered reading off the conversation, but in the end decided to just hand the phone over to Chase. He hadn’t said anything he wouldn’t want Chase to know.
Chase was in his towel, sitting on the bed as Ben passed him the phone to read the 20 questions. He shifted, laying down in full but keeping his head off the pillow and on the headboard so his damp hair didn't wet it. He was meant to read the questions, but Chase flicked to the top of the text chain and read each one. There were several instances where a pit felt as if it was forming in his stomach, moments that felt flirtatious and even though some happened before Chase and Ben even hung out at the skate park, it still hurt. He could see why Ben liked Danni, it made sense. It also made him wonder if he was even good enough for Ben.
His face ran through several different emotions as he continued on, one hand almost constantly pressed against his lips in thought. Especially when he'd read that Ben stated that he said he was ok with poly. Chase wasn't fully sure, he was joking before and now everything was becoming so real and it made him feel sick. He felt as if he'd just gotten Ben and was suddenly losing him already. The images Danni sent didn't help either. When he finally reached the end of the thread he tapped the camera icon and snapped a photo of him shirtless, in a towel, laying in bed with his hands in a peace sign and a very unimpressed look with a caption of ‘Hi’ before tossing the phone back towards Ben on the bed. He didn't say anything, he didn't know what to say.
Ben watched and frowned as Chase’s face betrayed his emotions. He couldn't identify all of the moods but he had a feeling Chase wasn't happy. Why? Nothing in those texts would be something Chase should be upset about? Right?
”Chase?” he asked softly. Unsure of what to say.
”Yeah babe?” Chase leaned his head back, staring up at the ceiling as he answered.
”You seem, upset.” Ben hedged. His phone buzzed, several messages coming in back to back in the quintessential way that Danni texts. He glanced at it and considers looking, Ben is confused. He had told Danni he was signing off for the day.
”Go ahead, answer it.” Chase got up from the bed, lingering at the edge as his feet rested on the carpeted floor before making his way towards a bag to snag his PJs for the night. His towel thrown and discarded into the bathroom.
Ben chewed on his lip and picked up the phone from where it had landed after Chase had given it back. His frown deepened at the photo. He smiled though as he read Danni’s messages.
”Danni says hi, he wants your number, and you owe him a hang out.” Danni was so sweet. Did he really not see how upset Chase looked in the photo? He responded.
”Can you help me understand?” Ben asked.
Chase waved away Ben's message about Danni. ”Yeah yeah, I told him we could already. Honestly if he wanted my number he could've just asked. You have it, my phones in my pants right pocket.” He was in the middle if getting into his sweatpants, hopping on one leg. ”I can, can you just…give me a sec? Im trying to think of how to word this without sounding like a complete ass.”
”Okay.” Ben said softly, he looked at his phone as a couple more messages came in from Danni. He responded, sending Chase's contact info, and frowning. What had happened? He pulled on pants and sat cross legged on the edge of the bed, his knee bouncing.
It wasn't long until Chase collected himself. Still shirtless, but now in his Freddy's sweatpants as he rounded the corner out of the bathroom and towards where Ben was sitting. Taking a seat next to him as he hand sat between them, torn between wanting to pull Ben in and wanting to give him some space. ”Look, I'm just going to be blunt here because I don't know what else to say or how to phrase it. Do you like Danni? Like, do you have a crush on him? Because the way your messages read, the pictures he sends, it's a little flirty and reading it hurt. I just…I'd rather know now than get caught with my pants down later.”
Confusion crashed through Ben. He wanted to curl up. He wanted a cup of tea. He needed to think through it all. Confusion shifted to irritation and anger. What had he done wrong? Maybe he shouldn’t have shown Chase the texts, but if he hadn’t... then what? Was he lying?
Ben made a small huffing sound. He stood up and started pacing. Leaving his phone behind. He didn’t want to have this conversation. He didn’t want to fight. He didn’t want to upset either of his friends. Sure, he liked Danni. Had been a little upset that he had gone on the super cool tour of the multiverse with his other friends. That had been before meeting Chase. Well, okay, not technically. He had met Chase by then at the skate park, and Chase had teased him about being his boyfriend. But Chase had also teased him at the Contest. Chase said he had thought he was cute even back then, which was wild considering Ben had been surly as all bloody hell that day. Why? Why? WHY!?
What was he supposed to say? Yes, he liked Danni, he thought he was cute. But not to worry. That if Chase didn’t want him to be friends with Danni he’d cut him off!? No way. He wouldn’t do that. He had promised. And Chase had said it was okay? He had said that Ben could stay friends with Danni, but now he was changing that? Is that what was happening?
Chase felt his heart drop. He hated this, hated seeing Ben like this, hated that he was the one to cause all of it, the one to ruin things again. His eyes began to burn, he could tell that he wanted to cry, but he held it in, kept the tears at bay and let the knot in his throat continue to grow. He didn't know what to say, he had no way to make this all right, to change the past or how he felt. He couldn't help the jealousy bubbling up inside of him. Finally, he spoke, his voice broken, strained, depressed and pleading. ”Please…say something, anything. Yell at me, hit me, do whatever you have to just please say something.”
Ben froze in his pacing when Chase spoke, pulling him out of his spiralling thoughts. It had been days and he hadn’t heard him speak like that. Ben trembled.
”I’m not going to yell, or hit you. I’m trying to figure it out, where I went wrong? I don’t know what to do or say.” Ben was so scared. ”What did I do wrong?”
Chase stood up and tried to take Ben's hands into his. His voice still trembling. ”You didn't do anything wrong, it's me. Im the one that's broken, I'm the one that messed up. I just – I know you said that your friends and I'm ok with that, I'm fine with that, but those texts? They didn't feel like friends Ben, they felt like you were talking to a crush. But maybe that's just me, maybe I'm too fucked up to see beyond myself and notice you are just friends…”
Ben let Chase take his hands. He held onto them like he was falling, like if he let go so would the world. ”I am friends with him. I don’t know what he thinks of me. He has never said anything that implies anything more than friendship. He is cute. I do like him. I don’t know if I like him in a ‘I want to date or have sex’ with him way. I don’t think it is fair to assume he likes me that way either. I don’t know if he is just friendly, or if he is flirting with me. I can’t tell. I don’t know.” Tears burned at Ben’s eyes and spilled over. ”But none of that matters. Because he is my friend. And you’re my knight. And anything else is extra. I don’t care. I don’t know. I don’t know.” Ben leaned forward into Chase’s chest, tears running hot down his cheeks.
Chase held him in his arms. He could feel the tears as they hit his chest and that broke him. He couldn't hold the tears in any longer and as he held his boyfriend, as he tried to speak, he sobbed. ”And you are my King. I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you, I didn't mean to make you cry, I never want to see you cry. It's going to be ok, we are going to be ok. Alright? We'll figure this all out together. I just don't want to lose you, I'm so afraid to lose you…” He pulled Ben in tighter as if he might become smoke and vanish if he let go. Pressing a kiss atop his head. ”Im so sorry…”
It took Ben a few moments to calm down, to stop crying. He wanted a stupid cup of tea. He always wanted one after crying. When he finally had his wits about him, he pulled back enough to wipe at his face, he really needed to blow his nose too, but he didn’t want to leave Chase’s arms, not yet. ”I don’t want to lose you either. I’m just confused. I don’t even know where to start talking about any of this. Because even if I do like him, I don’t know if he likes me, and you were the one who brought up the poly thing. But now you’re scaring me. I don’t need anything from him like that, not if you’re not alright with it. We can just be friends. That’s all I want.”
”Who wouldn't like you? You're smart, cute, funny, and so much fun to be around. Anyone would be lucky to be with you, I am lucky to be with you.” Chase placed his hands on Ben's cheeks and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears before doing the same with one hand to clean off Ben's upper lip from his runny nose, wiping it off on his sweatpants before going in to kiss Ben. ”I don't want to scare you, look I'm just as confused about all of this as you are. I…you're the first guy I've been with and this is so new to me still. I – joking about the poly thing was probably a bad on me, but if later down the line…if that's something you want to pursue, I'm not against trying it for you. If it doesn't feel right then we can have that conversation then and see how we want to go forth. But for now, in this moment, you are my King and I your Knight and only wish to make you happy.”
Ben kissed Chase back. Relief washed through him. They’d be okay. He nodded. ”Sorry for getting snot all over you,” he said softly. ”I like you, too. I don’t want to hurt you. I didn’t think I would. Do you want a cup of tea? I need one.” He lt shaky, and his head hurt a bit from the crying.
”I could go for a cup of tea. Maybe a movie? Just you, me, cuddled in bed with a good cup and a good movie.” Chase didn't even comment on the snot, he didn't care enough about it. All he cared about was making sure Ben felt better. He was about to say something more when his phone went off, the Merlin theme song playing for less than a second before it started up again, and again, and again, seventy times in a row. Chase looked towards his phone, then back at Ben. ”If he kills my battery I'm going to end him.”
”That sounds good. You pick the movie.” He looked over where Chase’s phone was going off again and again and again. He laughed. ”Yeah, you get it now. He’s just like that. I’m going to wash my face. And get some hot water going, you get the T.V. set up?”
Chase made his way over towards his phone, seeing all the missed messages. He started scrolling through them as he began to set up the movie, torn between genres he had a few picked out and ready depending on what Ben was in the mood for. He laid back on the bed, adding Danni into his contacts and changing the name to Sir Gwain before sending off a singular text and putting his phone on silent.
Ben washed his face and cleaned up a bit. He was still stressed out, but at least he had calmed down some. Once he felt like he could go back out into the room with Chase again he did. He started looking around for an electric kettle. He couldn’t find one, and thought back to the other hotel. He didn’t remember there being one there either. ”Wait, there isn’t an electric kettle in here. Do we have to order hot water?”
Chase pointed towards a Keurig machine sitting on the counter. ”Its for coffee but if you don't put a pack in only hot water comes out. It does have a coffee taste to it though since they're rarely ever cleaned. We can order hot water or tea if you want to, or go down to the lobby store to get two cups of hot water. So what're we in the mood for? I got Godzilla Minus One Minus Color, MazeRunner, and Ms. Congeniality.”
”Whatever is easiest for the water, except for coffee tasting, that sounds horrid. And uh, I only know anything about Godzilla. I don’t know the other two movies,” Ben said, he sat back on the bed. ”What are they about?” At the moment he wanted something a little light hearted, which Godzilla definitely was not.
Chase leaned over and gave Ben a kiss. ”One's about teens who are put through tests in what they call The Maze, and it's like a Sci-Fi Action survival type deal. The other is a Rom-Com.” He got off the bed and grabbed an old band T from his bag, putting it on as he continued to speak. ”You think about what you want to see, I will be right back with my lord's waters.” Before Ben could protest, Chase stepped into a shadow and vanished.
Ben's stomach did a pleasant little flip. He smiled as Chase disappeared. Once he was gone though he sighed heavily and lay back on the bed. ”Fuck,” he whispered into the empty room. He had almost messed it all up, and why? He rubbed at his face trying to center himself. Well the movie pick was easy enough. He was even less in the mood for a rom-com then he was for Godzilla. So Mazerunner it was. He stood up and out of his bag, put on his pj’s real quick. It probably was a good idea for them to just cuddle, nothing else tonight. They needed to cool down. Everything had been happening so fast. Danni had called it a U-haul and Ben had looked that up too. It was true. They kind of had. Not as fully as the term suggested, but enough. He laid back down, plugged his phone in, muted the ringer, and waited for Chase to come back.
Chase appeared within the hotel's lobby, the cold tile pressed against his feet as he wandered the area pacing back and forth. There was still a hitch in him, he'd left his phone upstairs and for good reason. He wanted to grill Danni. To ask him what his intentions were, why he was flirting, if he was flirting. But he needed to trust Ben. Trust he wouldn't just run away. He needed fresh air. Chase stepped outside, in nothing but his sweatpants and a band T that had seen better days and had small holes along it. He let the cold run through him, let the breeze shake away everything he was feeling until he was numb to it all. His feet hurt from how bitter the bite was, then finally he went back inside, went towards the Lobby's little market and asked for two cups of hot water, snagging a couple sugar packets as well before making his way back up to the room and knocking. ”Room Service.”
It wasn’t long until Chase returned with the hot water, Ben heard the knock and was a little confused, but looked through the peep hole to confirm it was Chase. When he did he opened the door.
”Hey,” Ben smiled. ”I’ve got the tea packets in my bag,” he said and hurried over to his bag and pulled out the box of tea packets. He pulled out two of the Earl Grey. ”Oh, do you want Earl Grey or English Breakfast?” God he felt nervous all over. Like it was the second day again.
”Earl please.” Chase closed the door gently with his foot until he heard the satisfying click of the lock. ”Stole a couple of sugar packets too, they're in my pocket.” He placed the cups onto the counter before taking his shirt back off and tossing it over to the side. ”So what'd you pick? Or did you think of something different?”
He figured that Chase meant the sugar was free and he just grabbed the packets not literally stole them. For a brief moment Ben was confused. Then he remembered the movies. ”Oh, let's watch Mazerunner. Sounds interesting,” Ben said, and took the cups of hot water from Chase. He set them down and placed the bags into the paper cups. ”How much sugar do you like in your tea?” Was he supposed to take the sugar from Chase’s pocket?
”Oh shit right, the sugar.” Chase pulled out the packets and laid them onto the counter. All real sugar, no artificial sweeteners. The only difference was if it was white or raw. He did notice the confusion on Ben's face and his smile dropped a fraction. ”We don't have to do the movie if you're not up for it? We can do the questionnaire or just vibe, anything really.”
”Oh, no it wasn't that. I just thought you meant tea. I was confused.” Ben took two of the white sugar packets and added that to one of the cups. He slid the other to Chase, letting him decide what he wanted.
They should talk. They should figure this out. But he was so scared of a sad outcome. They had gone all the way just the night prior and were already fighting.
”You sure? I don't want you to feel like you are walking on eggshells with me ok? If you don't want to do something tell me, if you want me to do something ask me, but if it's just tea the tea then…” Chase shrugged, grabbing his sugar packets and putting four in.
Ben sipped at the scalding hot tea. It wasn't ready. He didn't care. He needed the ritual. He stirred it.
”I am down to watch the movie. But also, maybe we should talk. Decide on... not rules... but boundaries. Decide what is fair. To everyone. Or we ignore it all until we are at school and can talk about it. All three of us. Because I don't want to make a decision that impacts Danni without him getting a say in it.” He wasn't looking at Chase. He was looking down at the tea as it slowly darkened. He sipped it again. It still sucked. Maybe that was because of the cup, or maybe it was because his mum wasn't the one who made it. His limbs felt heavy. The grief of the past few months pulled at them. He pushed it away and sipped again.
Chase looked down. It felt like all of his energy had been drained at once. He felt cold beyond the fact he had just been outside. It sounded almost like Ben wanted to break up. The tears threatened to come back once more. ”Boundaries are good. Talking is better. I – “ He sucked in some air, having left his cup to the side on the table. ”You first. Tell me what's on your mind, what you're thinking, wanting.”
”You,” Ben shrugged slightly, still not looking. ”But I promised Danni before I met you at the skate park that I'd be his friend. That I wouldn't leave him because he had been hurt by his friends getting into other relationships and leaving him behind. I didn't know at the time I'd meet you again and that we would connect this way. So maybe that was a bad promise. But I'm not going to break it. My boundary is that whatever we do as a couple that's fine, as long as I also spend time with Danni. I can be better about texting, I can do I don't know, but I am not going to hurt him.”
”Woah woah woah. Benny Boi, slow down there. I would never want you to hurt him, or any friend you make ever. Ok? And if I ever try to tell you to choose between me or him then dump me because that's not what boyfriends do. I don't care that you're texting him. Yeah I'm jealous, and I can't fully help that and I'm sorry I cant but…dont lose a friend over me ok? Maybe – shit, maybe we can make group chat? So while you two talk and I drive I can be part of the conversation. I won't be able to text back but you can talk for me. That way I at least feel…included? And maybe when we are together hanging out beyond the car now texting unless it's Matt or an emergency. If I'm spending time with you I want to be with you not you and a phone. Is that…fair?”
Ben gave a small sigh of relief and looked up at Chase. ”That’s fair. I’ll set that up tomorrow. Thank you.” Ben’s chest hurt and he felt like crying again, but he did not want that. So he sipped at his tea and fought it back. Emotions were stupid. And as soon as he thought that he remembered his mum again, and how much he wished he could ask her for advice. She had the best advice. She always knew what to do or say when things were difficult. He took another deep breath, it hitched a little.
”I can set it up right now if you'd like? Unless you prefer to do it tomorrow?” Chase snuggled in closer to Ben, wrapping an arm around him as he gave him a kiss on his cheek. ”Sorry for springing all of this again…I didn't mean for tonight to go like this.”
”He has had your number for five minutes, tell me, do you want to start a group chat with him right now? Or do you want to have some quiet time watching a movie just you and I?” Ben leaned into the embrace but looked up and raised an eyebrow.
”It is a lot. But you’re not the only person in this relationship. We have to talk to each other too. As much as I enjoy,” Ben cleared his throat. ”Praying with you. If we want something more, talking is important too.”
Chase raised his eyebrow. ”You might make me a pious man with the way we pray. But you're right, I need to communicate better about things that bother me. Also…I do wanna wait, because in the one second he had my number he sent me seventy messages. Seventy babe. I just want some quality with my little Cuddle Bug right now. It's that ok?”
Ben snorted. ”He talks like that too. A little hard to follow sometimes.” Ben shook his head in amusement. ”And yeah, that’s okay. Movie, cuddles, maybe 20 questions.”
”But first, I need to give you some apology kisses. I messed up big time today and I need to make it up somehow.” Chase pressed a kiss to Ben's neck, then another.
Ben set his cup of tea down. He shivered at the kisses, and resisted giggling. ”You didn’t mess up. You had feelings and you expressed them. That’s what you’re supposed to do. We figured it out.”
”And right now” Chase continued to kiss as he spoke. ”I'm expressing more feelings.” The moment he knew the danger of hot tea was set aside, Chase straddled Ben and looked lovingly into his eyes. ”You drive me crazy Bug Boi, in more ways than one, and I wouldn't have it any other way. You have my sword, and my heart.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss against his lips.
Ben was grinning. ”I like it when you express your feelings. Not sure why I drive you crazy, I feel like I’ve been more trouble than good, but I’m glad you like it. Mmm your sword you say.”
Chase blushed. ”I meant metaphorically. Like, my allegiance, my loyalty. But also…yeah, my uh…” He got shy again.
Ben grinned even brighter as Chase blushed. He leaned forward and pulled him into a kiss. ”Those all sound good to me.”
Jan. 7th
The night before had gotten better. Chase had felt that a necessary obstacle was now hurdled in their relationship, and he was certain even more would come. But so long as they held fast and hurdled together, they'd be fine. After all, isn't that what boyfriends do? Overcome hardships in spite of them? He knew Danni wouldn't respond, it was too late at night, around 2 am as he sent a few texts just to allow himself a sense of normalcy and before long the lonely night was over, a new day had risen, and it was time for one of Chase's new favorite pastimes. Waking up Ben.
There are many ways to wake someone up. Gently, lovingly, with a shock to the system. Chase decided a mixture of both was in order. He'd recalled exactly how Ben liked his tea, trying to memorize the right coloration for the ratio of water to milk or cream. Finally, he'd made Ben's cup, set it off nearby, and ripped the sheets off the bed as the cold air seeped in and the warm created over night dissipated. ”Goooooood morning my beautiful babe, time to rise and shine and go see a volcanic park!”
Ben snapped awake. It wasn't cold in the room, but it wasn't as cozy as under the blankets. He yelped and sat bolt upright. He shivered at the temperature change and glared at Chase. He supposed there could be worse ways to be woken up. There were also infinitely better ways. He stuck out his tongue.
”Meany. Why?”
Chase gasped as he was called mean. “But I brought you tea, even waited for it to steep before waking you.” He passed the cup over to Ben as he took his own cup of black coffee, taking a sip. ”As to why? Uh…I missed you all night and desperately wanted you awake and had you asked for five more minutes I'd be inclined to say yes, which would ruin the tea and make me feel lonely.” He stuck his tongue out back.
”Mmm tea can make up for a lot of things.” Ben nodded and stood, taking the cup from Chase. He sipped at it. He felt muscles relax. The tea was made right. It tasted good. Chase had gotten the balance of flavors in just the right way that Ben liked. So, it wasn’t the cup. It really had been him messing it up the night prior.
”A good cup of tea, makes up for even more.” He kissed Chase lightly. ”You’re forgiven, my knight.”
Chase felt as a single tear streaked down his cheek. Wiping it away quickly as he looked away. ”Awe shucks, thanks. My ever so benevolent King.” He lifted his coffee up as he took a shy sip from the cup.
Ben tilted his head, he bit his lip and then asked, ”I wasn’t really mad about being woken up that way. Irritated a little, sure, because it was cold. But not mad. Are you okay?”
Oh.
His heart sank a little as Ben clarified. Chase had thought he was forgiven for the night prior. He knew things had felt patched up, fixed until they could discuss things further when the time was right, but he still felt the weight of his mistake. That was his burden to carry. He was made very aware of just how much his actions affected others now. He promised he would be more open, more honest. ”My Lord, I had thought you meant I was forgiven for last night's transgression. I misunderstood is all “
Ben’s mouth opened into a slight ‘o’. ”I told you last night that your emotions are not stupid. You’re allowed to have them and allowed to express them. I am definitely not mad at you for anything about last night. I was scared during it. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how to fix it. God, I was so afraid that I had messed up the best thing that’s happened to me since my parents died,” Ben sighed. ”When I came here, to America, I didn’t want to make friends. I didn’t want to do anything but skulk. I was mad at myself, and my Uncle, and a whole bunch of other things. So I cried because I have been happy and I was scared it was going to go away. My dearest knight, you will never be transgressing if you are honest with me.”
He was the happiest he'd been? That alone sent Chase over the moon and back as he clung to every word that Ben had said. A sigh of relief along with a few tears of joy. Yet, he still felt the need to ask. ”Then say you will forgive me for the fear I placed in you, I never wished to hurt you in any way.”
”Chase, my first and dearest knight, I forgive you.” Ben stood up on his toes and kissed him.
Chase smiled as a small chuckle escaped him. ”We should really invest in some shoes with height.” Chase kissed him back as he teased.
Ben smiled, ”Oh, you don’t like that I am shorter than you?”
Chase placed his cup of coffee off to the side before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's waist. ”Oh I love it.” He picked Ben up and twirled him in the spot. Once he set him down he gave his neck a kiss.
Ben laughed, this felt right and good, and he was happy they had figured their shit out. He didn’t want to lose this.
”What are you going to do when I hit a growth spurt and end up taller than you, hmm?”
Chase placed a quizzical finger to his lip. A soft hum emanating from his mouth as he tried to think. ”I guess I'll have to hit one too, or buy platform shoes.” He smiled, a giggle behind his lips. ”Short, tall, same height, I'll like you all the same. Buuut just don't go growing anytime soon ok?”
”I cannot promise that,” Ben shrugged. He was only 14, and he was bound to hit a growth spurt eventually. Even if he had basically finished puberty.
”Now, as much as I would love to keep you in my arms all day and stare at you, I am hungry. So what shall we do for breakfast? What're you in the mood for?”
Ben thought about breakfast, his eyes going a little distant as he remembered early mornings, slow mornings, and rushed ones. He focused back on Chase, ”Hmm, not picky. Something warm I think, not hot,” he gave Chase a flat look at the expectation of something spicy being put on offer.
”Mexican? Could go get some killer Huevos Rancheros. Its like…mild spice to none, has eggs tortillas, the whole shebang. Think Shakshuka but very different. Oh! Or some Eggs in Purgatory. We'll have that.”
”I don’t know Shakshuka is,” Ben frowned. He considered what Chase was suggesting. Mexican food equaled spicy in his mind. He shifted. He had told Chase on day one that he’d try things, and Chase was saying that the option was not spicy. Finally he nodded. ”Alright, we can try it, no promises that I’ll like it.”
Chase fist pumped the air as he went over to grab his phone. ”Oh you'll love it! Just gotta find a spot now, shouldn't be too hard I mean Cali is lousy with Mexican places. Its great!” The more he searched, the more his smile faded. There was nothing save for one restaurant in this city, and its reviews weren't exactly glowing. They weren't bad but…average. Chase let out a sigh as he looked back towards Ben. ”Bad news Benny Boi.”
”What's wrong?”
”No dice. This town is lame and doesn't have much options in the way of Mexican. So I guess we'll have to get something else. Tons a barbecue and burger joints of want to lunch later though. You guys do barbecue back in London?”
”Yeah, I know barbecue,” Ben claimed.
”Sweet. Lets grab some later then. Just thinking about it has got me hungrier. But first, a shower, then we will see if anything calls out to us on the road for a decent meal of breakfast. Sound good?”
Ben did not see a reason for a shower. He felt clean. But he was willing to take one with Chase, especially since the shower here was big.
”Sounds good.”
Chase placed his phone on the bathroom counter, opening up his music as he began to blare it while they prepared to take a shower. The Reason by Hoobastank coming through as the water began to heat up and he continued to undress, singing along to the lyrics as he stole glances over at Ben.
Ben had never heard the song before. He listened to Chase and he was good. Ben didn't sing or do much in the way of music, he could appreciate it though. Ben also caught the lyrics, as he undressed he tilted his head and looked at Chase. Giving him a soft smile. They'd be okay. They'd make each other better people and be okay. He joined Chase in the shower.
When the song ended, Chase thumbed towards the tiled open shower with a whistle. ”Man the acoustics in here are great. Nothing like my shower, really helps to carry the voice.” A new song began to play, and Chase looked a little embarrassed. Sure they'd essentially been listening to club music on the drives, Ben's London House Music being much more in favour with the clubs of today, but the next song was practically archaic. Still within the club genre as Donna Summers came over the speakers from a time back when club was Disco.
”Its a good voice too. Better than mine.” Ben didn't recognize the music that was playing.
”Nah. Do love a good karaoke though. I'd show you my dance moves but I may slip in here.” Chase laughed.
”Please do not slip in the shower. That'd be so difficult to explain to emergency services.” Ben laughed.
It was too late, Chase had already begun to dance in place. Shaking his hips side to side very slightly as he began to do the twist. ”You dance Benny Boi? Got any sick Londoner moves?” He gave Ben a wink before placing one hand behind his head as he began to do the sprinkler. ”Got nothin on this huh?”
Ben giggled. ”I in fact do dance, but in clubs, not the shower.”
Chase reached out and grabbed Ben's hands moving them back and forth as he did to try and get him to dance with him. ”The beat waits for no one, not even in the showers. Let's see if you've got the Dance Bug in you.”
Ben shook his head. ”How many bug jokes can you make?
”As many as there are bugs in the world. Now you gonna Bug-gie uggie uggie with me or leave me hanging?”
Ben rolled his eyes, but he was smiling, and started to dance. He was careful, not wanting to slip. At least there was some space to move.
”There we go!” Chase was giddy, glad that Ben had finally joined in on the fun.
Ben shook his head. ”Focus on the shower weirdo.”
”You think I'm gorgeous. You want to kiss me. You want to hug me. You want to love me You want smooch me.” Chase continued his little shimmy before finally grabbing the shampoo to actually begin showering.
Ben sighed, shook his head, and then laughed. Chase was silly, but it was nice. He started to focus on the shower too.
The pair finished washing up and getting ready for the day. All laundry having been done last night while Ben slept. They drove around for about half an hour looking for a spot to eat when Chase had finally given up and pulled into a McDonald's. It was time Ben tried American Sweet Tea. It was still early enough to get breakfast thankfully, but he made sure to order a large sweet tea alongside two orange juices for them.
Ben tried the tea and decided that that was why Americans had health issues. He nearly gagged. ”I thought I liked my tea sweet. I apparently am a paragon of self control.”
Chase took back the cup, taking a long drink of it before letting out a content sigh. ”Delicious isn't it?” He was grinning, clearly taking a small amount of pleasure in Ben's distaste for the American abomination.
”If getting sugar sick from a single drink is delicious I'm concerned.” he shook his head. The rest of it was alright. He could eat McDonald's, he had eaten before moving to America. Though it was different.
Chase shrugged before they continued the drive. He was certain Matt wouldn't approve of the method of sweet tea between his thighs, a bagel sandwich in one hand, and steering wheel in the other. Even more certain he'd hate it when he wanted a sip of his drink so he used his knee to steer while he took a quick sip. But the Old Man wasn't here, and Chase was a very good driver. They'd made it to Lassen and upon arriving to the building where they would normally grab their stamps.
”THEY'RE CLOSED?! OH what BULLSHIT”
Ben frowned at the sign. Annoying. But he supposed it made sense. There was a lot of snow. Ben had never driven in snow before and had gotten a little nervous. He took a quick picture of the sign. He would have to tell Matt, but he decided to wait until they figured out what they were going to do next before bothering him.
”Well, damn,” he agreed. He had been looking forward to seeing a volcanic park. ”What should we do now?” Ben did not know any of the plan really except the base line off drive to park, visit, bugs, and hang out. They were on day five of 10. So they had plenty of time. But it didn't seem like this place would open until spring.
”I…dont know. I mean obviously we need to tell the Old Man. Don't need him flying the X-jet over here because of a wrong address or something.” Chase had begun to pace back and forth as he tried to think. He didn't know the area well at all, he was a southern cali kid. ”I'm open to suggestions.”
”Yeah I didn't want to text him till we had a plan.” Ben bounced a little.
”Well two options really right? We leave either way. We start toward the next stop or do something else. I don't know how far it is to the next one. I also don't have any idea what else to do up here. This place is almost devoid of life.” It was also cold as hell.
”OK wait, idea. Yes. We go to the next destination early and spend our last day at Medieval Times! It's brilliant! And near home.”
Ben grinned, ”Yeah!” He wasn’t totally ready to get back into the jeep, but he also didn’t want to be outside in the cold. His breath was showing.
”Alright, let's get back into the Jeep.” Chase opened up the door for Ben once again, bowing at his king as he had done so many times. Once Ben got in he turned on the car to get the heater going. The radio began to play before Ben's phone connected, a warning of an oncoming storm quickly coming in in their area. It advised to stay indoors and find shelter.
Ben raised an eyebrow. ”How serious is that?” Storms in London, weren’t ever that intense. He had spent a winter at his grandparents that had included being snowed in for two days, but America had earthquakes and hurricanes and tornadoes and god knew what other types of natural disasters. It probably also had freak snow storms.
Chase sighed. ”It might be pretty serious. Roads will be unsafe to drive. I can take us part of the way but…we might need to find a hotel around somewhere in between.”
”I’m going to text Matt and let him know about the park being closed and that our plan is to just head to the Redwoods, should I mention the snowstorm?” He pulled out his phone. Danni had texted him too. He would have to make the group chat now too. He did that real quick and sent his Uncle a text too.
”Nah don't worry him with talks of storms. He's too much of a worry wart.” Chase had begun to pull away, driving further north towards the Redwoods. It was about a four hour drive, but they wouldn't be able to make their stops with a storm approaching. ”Try and find the nearest place to stay. I can't guarantee out one hour stops with weather like this, and I don't want you in the car longer than you can handle.” It was clear the amount of concern in Chase's voice, even if he was trying not to show it.
”Okay,” Ben said softly. He felt a pit start to build in his stomach. Once he was done messaging his Uncle he started looking for places to stay. He had never booked a hotel before in his life. Adults had always done it for him. He had no idea what he was looking for. What places were good, or bad, or much of anything beyond - this place is warm and not a car. He appreciated that Chase was honest with him about them needing a place to hunker down. Texts were coming in from Danni, and his uncle. At least Matt’s were straight to the point. He wrote simple texts that were one or two things and then left it there. Ben liked texting with Danni, but right now he was a little stressed out.
”Hey hey hey, no worries. We're gonna be fine. This beast is an all terrain vehicle. That's why the tires are so big, it's meant to handle all weather types including this snow storm. We just need to find a place so you can move around. That's all.” He placed one hand on Ben's lap as he tried to reassure him.
Ben squeezed Chase’s hand and smiled. ”Thank you. I think I found a place. I honestly don't know what I’m looking for in a hotel.” He didn’t want to hold up the phone for Chase to see, he wanted him to pay more attention to the road.
”Any place is a good place so long as I'm with you and you have open space. So I'm sure it'll be fine.” Chase focused on the road, save for the text messages that kept coming through from Danni, he wouldn't look at them but he'd tell Ben when to answer back. But as they drove, it became harder and harder for Chase to see out his windshield. The storm having come on fast and hard as a flurry of white threatened to blind them. They weren't far off from the hotel Ben found, but Chase was becoming increasingly anxious. His left leg began to shake as his fingers tapped against the leather wheel until finally they made it.
Jan 7th, afternoon, Snowed in
”I think its best we just teleport in. The snow seems deep and I don't need you getting hypothermia on me.”
”Okay. How do we book a room?” Ben suddenly felt very young. Like the 14 year old he actually was.
Chase looked at Ben's phone, trying to help him book the room. He quickly noticed something that was difficult to see with the flurry happening outside, it was a resort. A very nice and very expensive resort. His eyes went wide, turning to look at Ben as he tried to figure out what to do. ”Hey we may need to find another place. I can’t afford this.” He turned the phone to show the nightstand rate to Ben. But as Chase went to start the car again, the engine stalled. ”No no no! Come on!” He slammed his hand onto the steering wheel before leaning forward and pressing his forehead against it.
”I'm going to call Matt.” Ben placed a hand gently in Chase’s arm. ”I have to tell him. And he did give me an emergency credit card. But I have to tell him.”
Chase tried and tried to figure something else out. He kept starting and stopping his sentences as he stammered towards an answer before he finally gave in with a grumble. ”Ok…”
Ben nodded and called his uncle, it took a few moments to explain the situation. Matt sighed, but understood that weather was not something either of them could control. He permitted the use of the card, knowing that once the boys were inside the resort they’d be safe and warm. The card was in Ben’s name, so his legal approval wasn’t needed, but the fact that it was teen boys booking, his guardian approval might be needed, so he stayed on the phone.
”Okay, let’s get inside.”
Chase wrapped the pair in darkness, taking them under the pavilion before the door so as not to scare the patrons inside. As they walked into the lobby, his jaw dropped. The place was huge and very clearly expensive. Instantly an employee had made their way to them to ask if they needed help with their bags or coats and Chase simply stepped closer to Ben. ”No thanks we got it. Just need to check in.”
They smiled at the pair and led them over to the Front Desk and after a few phone calls and the given storm that seemed to only be getting worse, they finally were allowed to check in. They hadn't been able to pick an ADA room as the picking were very slim given the influx of new check ins, but with luck they got one with a massive shower. Why anyone (beyond Ben) needed so much space in a shower was beyond Chase. They not only had more than one bed, they had more than one ‘room’ with multiple levels. ”Dude. What. The. Fuck.”
Ben was thankful that Matt had been so obliging. He’d have to find a way to make it up to him. Though he figured part of it was that Matt was worried about them. When they entered the room Ben’s jaw dropped. He had seen the price tag. He had swiped the card and it had been approved, but the number hadn’t quite reflected the room. Not really. Not until he was standing in it.
”I have no idea,” Ben snorted with laughter. ”Dude,” he chuckled again at the word. ”Danni is going to lose his mind. I have to send him pictures. This is great. We’ve got so much space. Is it bad that I kind of hope the storm lasts a while? Get to be snowed in here with you.”
”If it's bad then I don't want to be good.” Chase walked around the room slowly, his hand trailing against the stone countertop until he found a hotel brochure that had some information about the resort. This place had everything it seemed. ”Holy shit. Benny Boi they have a fucking heated pool! Indoors! Oh I want go swim so bad!!! Can we?” He was absolutely giddy with excitement.
”I suppose, but I don’t have bathers with me,” he was still relishing everything about the space. His uncle had not been pleased about the price tag, but the other option of sleeping in the jeep during a snow storm was something he was even less pleased about.
”Dude I'll buy us trunks, it's the least I can do. I'm sure the shop below has some.” Chase beamed before making his way over to Ben and lifting him into a twirl once more before giving him a deep and passionate kiss. ”I – you're – fuck I cant even think im so happy right now youre the absolute best boyfriend ever!”
Ben laughed and kissed Chase back, he wrapped his arms around him as he was twirled. It felt strange, but he enjoyed it. ”You’re that happy about getting to swim?”
”I'm that happy about being with you. Dude, look at this place! And i get to spend it alone with you?” Chase sent a barrage of kisses all over Ben's face. ”Think of the food. Ooooooh my god the food. I bet you its absolutely amazing.”
Ben was grinning, ”I didn’t plan this. I didn’t even know what to look for in a hotel. It was just the top option between Redding and the Redwoods. We’re lucky we made it this far anyway. Imagine if we got snowed in while still in Redding.” He shivered at the thought.
Chase lifted Ben up and placed him onto the counter. Kissing him once more and then again for good measure. ”Oh you knew what to look for, this place has it all. We could do a spa day. Danni would be so jealous.”
Ben placed one hand back to get a measure of how much space he had. It was reflexive. He had enough, he wasn’t pressed against the wall. He smiled. ”Danni will definitely be jealous. This is more his speed than the hiking or anything else we’ve done this trip. You know, as soon as we tell him we’re going to get a barrage of texts.”
”So? Let him text. I can respond later. For now I want to spend time with my absolutely amazing and beautiful boyfriend.” Chase rested his head against Ben's chest
Ben smiled, and wrapped his arms around Chase. It wasn’t often that Chase got to lean against his chest. It was usually the other way around due to the height difference. Ben also didn’t mind the insane texting that Danni was capable of. He couldn’t always keep up, but in general he liked it. He thought it was sweet. And it wasn’t that different from a face to face conversation with Danni. He shifted his thoughts to Chase, and focused on him. He gently rubbed at his back, and wondered if the marks there would ever heal. He hated the people who had done that to Chase. Who had taken so much of him away, they had stolen him and his life and changed his future. But... if they hadn’t, would Ben have met him? He hated if’s and what ifs. Hated them. Because he had spent so much of the last few months going over them. Trying to find where he had gone wrong, trying to find what had taken his parents from him. He sighed, and pulled Chase in a little tighter.
”I’m a little sad that we aren’t doing all the parks, but I think I’m okay with it. This place is fantastic, and we’re going to have a great time here. It’s only the 7th, there is no way a storm would last so long we miss the curfew. Right?”
”If it did, your Old Man can't get mad. We can't control the weather and neither can he. He has no jet to get us, nor could he fly in this weather. So tough on him.” Chase kissed Ben's cheek softly. ”I'm sorry we didn't get to do all the parks, I'll plan it better next time. And I'm sure that old geezer will let us come back up and explore it another time if we explain it. He's already ok'd it once.”
”Yeah, maybe spring break, when the snow has melted more, and the bugs are in the early part of their life cycle,” Ben agreed. Matt really couldn’t get mad, he had admitted as much. He lived in California for years and hadn’t thought about the snow. Though, in his defense he lived in San Francisco that whole time, not anywhere that got snow. San Francisco’s weather was fog.
”Hopefully, he doesn’t decide that this is proof we should have been chaperoned. He only really allowed it because of Morgan. He figured if she didn’t see a bad ending to the trip it’d be fine.”
”I still haven't seen a bad ending.” Chase smirked. ”If anything, the fact that we safely got here and had the luck of getting a room is proof that Morgan was right.”
”That is true. Matt might not agree, but he’ll survive.” Ben grinned. He wasn’t totally ready to leave Chase’s embrace yet, so he didn’t say anything about getting moving.
Chase bit his lower lip, his eyes wandering Ben's face, neck, then shoulder. He had too much pent up energy, too much excitement right now, he felt like he needed to bite down on something. He'd already left a few marks on Ben's shoulder before, and was debating on if he should leave more.
Ben saw the look on Chase’s face and raised an eyebrow, ”What are you thinking?”
A grin began to spread on half his lip, the other held on place by the vice grip his teeth had on it before he finally spoke. ”I really wanna bite you. Like, really bad. I don't know how to explain it but I gotta get this out.”
Ben blinked, he had not expected that, but he smiled and nodded. ”Alright,” Ben said. If he was honest, he did like how Chase bit him during... prayers. ”Are we... uh, you know, or just biting and then moving on?”
Chase shot his eyebrows up. ”Oh. I was just wanting a bite. I'm not, it's not, thats not the kind of energy it meant” He stammered on with a bit of a chuckle. ”More like…when a puppy gets all excited and just starts to nibble…gah its stupid sorry.” He buried his head into Ben's chest again to try and hide the embarrassment.
”Cute aggression,” Ben supplied.
”What?” Chase looked up, but barely.
”It is when you have a cute kitten in your hand and you wanna squeeze it. Cute aggression,” Ben frowned, trying to remember. ”My cousin, I think, talked about it. They had gotten a new kitten, it was super cute and he had this urge to squeeze it.”
Chase nodded. That felt about right. He'd never heard it having a name, then again he never tried explaining it to others either. ”May I?”
”Yeah,” Ben nodded, smiling. He’d probably be a bit riled up after, but he could hold onto that for later.
Chase smiled. He didn't skip a beat as through the shirt he bit into Ben's shoulder and bit hard. His arms pulling Ben closer to him, holding him tight as he latched onto him. When he finally let go there was an imprint of his teeth in the shirt, and beneath an indent on the skin. ”Thanks…”
”I don’t mind. I actually like it. I’d say anytime, but I don’t mean that literally. As long as you don’t leave marks that’ll get seen by Matt. And we are in private, and you warn me. I don’t know if I’d like being bit without any warning, unless we are in the middle of... activities.” He was turned on now, his face was a bit pink and his pants a bit tighter, but as long as it stopped there, he wouldn’t want to do more. He definitely wanted to do more. But it could wait.
”I've been careful. No where he can see and only in parts clothes of any kind can cover. Don't worry. Just…dont be shirtless for a while.” Chase lifted the collar of Ben's shirt to look at his handiwork and smiled.
Ben melted a little at the smile. ”Yeahhh, if we go swimming I might want a rash guard.”
”I uh…didn't think about that. Yeah we'll get you one too.” Chase suddenly felt embarrassed again. He didn't realize this would affect them for swimming and other shirtless activities too. He'd need to start doing it on the inner thigh then.
Ben kissed Chase lightly. ”I’m not mad. Don’t worry. I just don’t want some busy body to see us in the pool and think ‘teenage delinquents’.”
”Here I was worried someone would think you're being abused. I couldn't care if they think we're delinquent because we are.” Chase giggled, though in his experience no one ever bothered to see if you were abused or not. They just looked away.
Ben had not thought about that. His experience as a teen was around no loitering signs. Ben's smile became a little strained as he remembered what Chase's back looked like. ”You should also get a rash guard for yourself,” he said softly.
Chase’s smile twitched. Why would he need? He froze. He was so excited about it all he'd forgotten. ”Yeah…” His voice was raspy and sharp as he inhaled. ”Maybe this isn't…such a good idea…I – “ The words got caught in his throat. He hadn't spoken about this to Ben yet. He hadn't needed to. ”I don't even know if I can swim anymore… I told to before I've had panic attacks, that that's how I recognized yours. It happened in the shower for me too, not because of the space. I got water in my face, couldn't breathe. I – I used to face the water before all this, but now when I do it's like I'm back in that tank again.” His hands gripped onto Ben's shirt. ”It happened again when I got some water in my ear later on, I couldn't hear right, freaked out, it was…bad. Fuck, I used to love swimming so much and I haven't even gotten a chance to since then that…I'm not even sure I could anymore.”
Ben's face fell. Anger and bile rose as Chase explained himself. Ben hated the people who had done that to him. He wrapped himself around Chase, not tightly, if Chase needed he could easily be free. Because Ben knew how scary that could be. It had been slowly building for him over years he had slowly come to hate taking a shower or any small space where he couldn't stretch out his arms all the way. He wanted to help. To fix it. And he was so mad that that joy had been stolen from Chase.
”We can take it slow. Shallow end or the hot tub. Go in just as far as you want. And if you can't, we leave. Don't push it. Just take it slow. If you want. Or we can order some food and watch a movie and cuddle. I don't care. I want to spend time with you. If it is here or there I don't care.” He was just glad it wasn't trapped in the car.
Chase nodded slowly. He wanted to do this. He needed to try. He couldn't let those people take more away from him. ”I want to try. If things get bad, just…pull me out please? I'll try my best to control the darkness but if I can't, leave. Please.”
Ben nodded in assent. He didn't completely understand Chase’s pain, not the depth of it, but he knew the echos of it. He was lucky. His power was not something that could hurt easily. He could call insects to him they might defend him. But his power was not as direct. It wouldn't be as easy to hurt someone. He wondered for a moment about those whose power made touch impossible. How did they manage? Matt was lucky his touch was one he had control over.
”I don't want to leave you alone, but I'll give you space. But let's do our best for it to not get that bad. As soon as you feel it creeping on you we'll get out. We can head down as soon as you're ready for it.”
”Benny I mean it. Leave. I don't want to pull you under water without an escape. But, yes, if I start to feel it creep in I'll get out immediately. Ok?”
Ben did not like the idea of abandoning Chase when he was hurting the most. He hated that. He didn't want to promise. It felt... wrong. But he saw and heard how serious Chase was and the tingle of fear at being dragged under water at not being able to escape, that gripped him and he took a deep breath and swallowed. ”Okay. I'll leave, if you lose control.” And Ben hated himself for the promise.
”Thank you.” Chase kissed him gently, resting his head against Ben's. ”Ok. I'm ready.”
”Okay,” Ben said, and unwound himself from Chase, ready to slide off the counter he had been placed on.
Chase whimpered as Ben let go. He didn't want it to end, but he supposed it'd have to if they wanted to go swimming. He lifted Ben off the counter and plopped him back onto the floor. Holding his hand out for him to take before descending down the resort to buy some trunks and rash guards.
The store in the hotel was fancy. It was bigger than any hotel store Ben had ever seen. He was honestly surprised that a ski lodge sold swimwear. But they did. Ready for an unprepared guest that wanted to swim, especially since everyone was snowed in. Ben felt weird in the store, but they were able to find what both of them wanted. He was thankful the place had rash guards. He hadn’t been sure they would, and if they didn’t both of them would have been swimming in shirts instead.
There were a lot of other things in the store. They’d be set if they needed anything. But it was obvious that this place was expensive by the type of things on sale, and the types of people in the shop. Ben felt nervous, but with Chase there he wasn’t worried. They’d be fine.
After they checked out, the cashier gave them directions and told them, “The pool area has changing rooms, lockers and towels. Your room key will give you access. Pool hours are from 8 am until 10 pm. There is no lifeguard on duty.”
”Thanks.” For a moment he wondered why the cashier was telling them that and they realized people buying bathers during the middle of a snow storm were obviously going to the pool, and might ask those exact questions.
Once the pair had finally changed out of their clothes (that Chase had simply sent to the room with his shadows) and into their suits, Chase was ready to take on the pool. He would've loved to cannonball into the water, but he knew that might be a bad idea. So, as Ben had suggested, he started slow. Only going in waist deep at first as he slowly waded around.
Ben waited at the top of the steps down into the pool. He didn’t want to get wet until he knew that Chase would make it at least a little way into the pool. If he had to run he didn’t want his feet wet. And he hated that he was afraid enough to think that. He didn’t want to be afraid of Chase. In his opinion he didn’t think Chase would hurt him. Chase was too sweet to do that. But he knew the clawing panic. He knew how bad it could get. So he waited, waited for Chase to turn around and nod, or give any indication that he’d be okay. That they wouldn’t be going back to the room immediately.
Chase turned around, an uneasy smile on his face. He was fine, for now, he lowered his body in deeper, stopping midway up his torso before taking a shaky breath. Holding up a thumbs up for Ben before lowering down to his neck and then shot back up slightly. Panic raced through him before he made his way off to the side of the pool and placed his back against the wall, breathing slowly.
A small sigh of relief passed from Ben’s lips and he was about to step into the pool to join Chase when he shot back out of the water. He waited a moment as Chase tried to center himself. He wanted to be there for him. Fuck it. He climbed into the pool, quickly joining Chase. The water was nice and heated.
”I’m here. You’re okay,” Ben said, joining Chase.
Chase hugged Ben close, closing his eyes for a second as he took in his breath. He could breathe, he was ok, he wasn't in a tank, he wasn't alone, he was fine. There was a long shaky exhale before he slowly opened his eyes. ”Thanks babe.”
Ben leaned into the hug. Thankful for it. He had been worried that Chase would push him away again. He couldn’t stand the thought. He knew it had been for his safety, but that didn’t make him not hate it.
”Of course. You helped me. I’ll help you. Always, my knight.”
”And I'll always help you, my King.” Chase gave Ben a kiss, pulling him into a tighter hug as the stood within the waist deep water.
A voice called out to them, staring at them with indignation. “Where are your parents you two?”
Chase turned to look at the old sour pussed woman who was talking to them. Surprised that anyone was even paying attention to them.
”Dead,” Ben said, almost reflexively, but he had learned some dark humor tended to throw people off.
Chase had responded at the exact same time and with the same answer. Clearly needing that form of comedy to help release a bit of the tension he was having from being in the pool. He looked back towards Ben and laughed. ”Jinx! You owe me an ICEE.”
Ben met eyes with Chase and couldn’t contain his own laughter. ”You still haven’t even explained what an ICEE is.” He shook his head.
The woman had a look of abject horror on her face. She didn’t know how to respond. “I can report you minors for being in here unsupervised,” she said, trying to recover her sense of control.
”Ooooo. I can report you for being a weird pedo staring at minors! Hows that sound to ya?” Chase snarked back. ”Its a free pool and last I recall Adult Swim ended years ago. So “ Chase made a shooing motion for her to move away.
The woman clutched at her neck, Ben couldn’t help but think of women clutching at pearls. She left the room quickly. Possibly heading for the front desk, or maybe she was going to leave them alone. Ben laughed.
”Adult Swim?” he asked, now that they were relatively alone. The pool room was not empty, everyone was trapped indoors, so it was no surprise that some other people had come to relax in the pool room.
”Some old ass rule back like a million years ago where kids had to leave the pool so only adults could swim. Its archaic and lame like her.” Normally Chase would've started to float onto his back to relax, but the fear of getting water into his ears kept him from doing so. He just simply pulled the two further into the deep end. The water now midway up his chest so that he could slowly acclimate to the feeling again.
”Wild.” Ben allowed himself to be pulled deeper into the pool. He wanted to dive all the way in, but was content to stay with Chase and let him take his time. ”We weren’t even doing anything.” Ben carefully considered the land mine that they had just dealt with. Chase had never said his parents were dead. After his kidnapping, he didn’t go back to them. That’s what Ben knew. Had they been killed during the kidnapping? Or had something else happened? Ben wasn’t sure. He also knew how much Chase didn’t like the subject. He didn’t like it more than Ben about his parents. And Ben found it a little easier the last couple of days to mention his parents. It still hurt like hell. But the constant coiled grief had eased.
Chase shrugged before waving his hands back and forth within the water. Feeling the space, how wide it was, reassuring himself he was safe outside and with Ben. He dipped a little lower, bending his knees just enough to allow himself the freedom to get back up if he needed. He tried to focus on the conversation.”Some folks can't leave well enough alone. Best to ignore them or out crazy them.”
Ben wrinkled his nose. ”Back in London we only got yelled at by old people if we were causing a nuisance.” Ben wondered if it was the location or the specific hotel. He shook his head. ”Eh, all well. She’s gone, and you’re doing fantastic.”
Chase looked away shyly. ”Thanks…” He sank just low enough to blow some bubbles with his mouth, but keep his ears above water. It didn't last long. The fear someone's swimming would kick up the water made him anxious so he stood back up. ”Feels stupid. I feel stupid.”
Ben held out his hand for Chase, dipping low enough in the water to be at his neck. ”What have I said?” Ben asked, his tone serious. ”Your emotions aren’t stupid. You definitely aren’t stupid. You’re smarter than me, that’s for sure. And you and I both know fear is difficult and can be irrational as hell. You can’t control that. But things like this I think are good steps to dealing with it. If you learn how to manage it just a little bit, if you’re ever in a situation where you end up in water, you can control yourself long enough to get to safety. That’s good. In my opinion, as long as you can do that, you’ve won.”
Chase took Ben's hand. He whispered Ben's little mantra to himself about his feelings and emotions. He'd heard it enough times in this trip already. Yet he couldn't help but smile at it. He took in a deep breath, held it, then exhaled. ”I cannot defeat you my lord as you are always right and just. Even in matters of the mind. Thanks.” He offered Ben a lopsided smile. He wanted to try swimming, he could keep his head above water. He could be fine. Right?
Ben smiled at Chase’s words, and squeezed his hand. ”I’m here. You’re okay. What do you want me to do? How can I help?”
”Let's swim. I want you to have fun too. Not just dote on me like some wet nurse. So let's try it. As long as I can keep my head above water…I think I'll be fine.” It felt so silly to Chase. Normally he could at least wear earplugs to keep the water from getting in, but that wasn't the issue. It was the sound that came with it. The distorted muffled noises that reminded him of his glass prison.
Ben nodded, keeping Chase’s head above water should be okay, ”Let’s get into a little shallower water.” Ben walked back up a little into the water that was shallow enough that he could easily stand. He kept his body at the same height in the water though, dropping low enough that he was at his neck. Slowly he let his legs drift up and swam with one hand, pulling Chase with him with the other.
Chase followed Ben along. He didn't know why they were moving away from the deep end, then again what was chest height for Chase was certainly much deeper for Ben. So maybe that's why? He followed Ben's lead, lifting his legs a bit to allow him to float, his body moving with its memory and for a moment, he went under. Water felt as if it got into his ear, panic shot through, but he surfaced in time. No swimmers ear, no cause for alarm, he was fine, he was holding it together alright.
Ben hissed in concern and stopped swimming to check on Chase. He seemed okay. Ben dropped lower again, letting his legs drift up. He floated on his back, head up slightly to keep an eye on Chase. He had a sudden silly image of otters as he was holding Chase’s hand. He grinned.
”Im fine, I'm fine. Just, reflex you know?” God's, Chase wanted to do what Ben was so bad. He wanted to play around and splash some water or playfully dunk him but he couldn't. It wouldn't be fair to him that he couldn't play back. It felt so stupid. He understood how Ben felt about his claustrophobia. He tried to push past it, to listen to what Ben kept telling him. His emotions aren't stupid, his feelings aren't stupid. Chase took in a slow deep breath to try and center again before attempting to swim.
He dipped down again, this time rising back quicker than before. It didn't feel as bad. He could still hear, he focused on that. Focused on the sounds of idle chatter, the conversations, any noise he could find. It was like he was back at the mall, listening to all the other families, escaping into their lives.
”You’re doing great,” Ben reassured Chase. He squeezed Chase’s hand and relaxed a little more. He stayed on his back, but let his head sink into the water, the effort of staying up now changed from high active to low. He kept one hand in Chase’s, the other gently moving the water. Ben had swam enough to be okay at it. He never swam competitively or anything, but he had spent time in the water. He probably couldn’t have swam in anything with a current, and he did prefer the shallower end where if he had an issue he could stand easily enough. The deep end didn’t scare him, so much as he knew he wasn’t proficient enough to hang out there. He definitely wasn’t proficient enough to help Chase in the deep end if something went wrong. Here in the shallower side they could stand if needed.
The pool was particularly nice. It was heated, and indoors. The giant windows of the solarium showed the storm that had gotten more and more intense. He was thankful they had stopped when they had. He shivered a little at the idea of getting stuck in the Jeep in that. That would have been awful. He checked on Chase.
Chase offered Ben a shy smile. He didn't like the feeling of being babied. But it helped that it was his boyfriend doing it. Had it been Peej or Morgan, he'd have hated it even more. But this? This was fine. He could do this so long as he had Ben by his side. He thought about trying it at home. About plunging into a bath to force himself to be normal again. He wasn't sure how well that would work out.
Ben felt reassured by Chase’s smile. Felt it was safe to press their luck a little, he let go and swam a few meters away. He smiled, held up his hand and crooked a finger, beckoning Chase to him.
Chase smiled and began swimming towards Ben, managing to keep his head above the water as he did so. His smile grew more and more genuine with each stroke before stopping just before Ben and giving him a kiss. ”You beckoned for me my King?”
Ben kissed Chase back, pulling him closer slightly. ”Perfect, my knight, so perfect.” Ben let go and swam away again. This time toward the deeper water. Once his toes just barely touched the floor of the pool he stopped and grinning beckoned Chase again.
Chase went forth once more, he could feel how deep it was beginning to get. That tug at his chest as he swam and felt a bit of water slip into his ear. He stopped. He shook his head, trying not to get his wet finger in there by instinct as he worked to get the water either out or far enough down it wouldn't cause a problem. He could still stand, he was still fine. He could see Ben just a little further out, and he swam towards him just fine. ”If I didn't know any better I'd say you like to flirt with danger.”
Ben's grin grew, ”Well, I like flirting with you.” He kissed Chase. This time staying there for a moment, pressing against him. He hoped no one else decided they'd hate on some teens.
”Are you doing well, my knight?
When Ben finally pulled back, there was a dopey lovestruck smile on Chase's face. ”Even more so after that my Lord. I – I really like doing this, like being with you.”
”Mmm, good. I am not a strong swimmer, but do you want to go deeper? I won't be able to do anything if there is an issue,” Ben told Chase honestly.
Chase looked down towards the deep end. Thoughts of nights spent swimming, laying underwater in the cover of night as he just allowed himself to sink and be. To help quiet his mind when the world was too tough, when his father was too tough. There was a distant look in his eyes before finally nodding. ”I want to try.”
Chase pushed off of Ben, swimming closer and closer to the deep end, keeping his head above water the whole time. There was a certain feeling with being in such a deep amount of water. The pull from it felt good. He wanted to plunge, to hold his breath and just let himself fall deeper, but he knew that would be bad. So he swam, small laps from one side of the deep end to the other, all the while yearning for the depths that may beneath.
Ben stayed behind, going back just a little farther so he could stand on the balls of his feet. He held the edge of the pool, and watched Chase. Concern for Chase had been long coiling within him, but it had unraveled a bit as they had swam about. It was tighter now, worried that Chase might slip under and lose his control.
They weren't the only ones in the pool, it was long and narrow. An older man was doing laps from one end to the other and back again. He slowed near Ben.
“Ah, young love.” He grinned and went back to his breast stroke swimming back and forth. Ben's face was red.
After some time, Chase made his way over to Ben. It felt stupid to be this excited over something he'd done a million times before. Yet still ”Did you see that? See? I'm tough. I'm cool.” Chase puffed out his chest.
Ben smiled and kissed Chase. ”I did, I'm happy. Hmmm what about if your liege lord were to reward you for your bravery today?” Ben grinned.
Chase wrapped himself around Ben. ”And what pray tell did my Lord have in mind for such a reward?”
”Mmm I suppose you'll have to find out once we return to the room.” Ben snuggled into the embrace.
”Then what're we waiting for?”
”Nothing,” Ben smiled. ”If we walk back we should dry off. If we go the quick way, take us to the bathroom so we don't get water everywhere.”
”Too many people around, and it'd look bad if two teens go down into the water and never come back up. Sooo towel off it is I guess.” Chase gave Ben a quick kiss before walking out to where the water was halfway to him, quickly realizing how badly the trunks would suction when he got out and how visibly happy he was right now. He sighed, making eye contact with the towel before hurriedly walking towards it and wrapping it around his waist.
”Fair.” Ben went all the way to the stairs and joined Chase where he was wrapping a towel around himself. Ben grabbed one of the towels and quickly dried himself off enough that he wasn’t dripping. He didn’t want them to get in trouble for walking around soaking wet and making the walk ways of the hotel unsafe.
”We could just go into the changing room. Don’t have to walk the long way.” Ben suggested.
”Smart. Lets go grab our clothes and we can uh take the shortcut to our rooms then yeah?” Chase gave Ben a devilish grin before leading the pair back into the changing rooms. He looked around to ensure no one else was there before wrapping them (and their belongings) into shadows and bringing them into their bathroom.
Ben grinned back and followed after Chase, letting himself be swept through the shadows. ”So, reward?” he asked, pulling off the wet rash shirt and dropping it in the shower.
”Still haven't told me what it is.” Chase removed his own wet clothes, wanting to be out of them and into something dry if he wasn't going to be in the water.
”Oh, I thought it was obvious,” Ben said as he stepped closer to Chase, a smile on his face. He took off his swim trunks. ”Prayers?”
If it could, Chase’s face would've been beet red. All it took was the one word to excite him. He stammered a bit, as his mind raced to remember where he'd left the damn box. Biting his lower lip as he nodded to Ben eagerly.
Ben grinned even brighter as Chase’s demeanor changed and became nervous. He definitely understood why Chase enjoyed teasing him. He gently pulled Chase with him into the bedroom. There were multiple bedrooms, he picked the closest one. The bed was massive.
”I cannot with this place.” He shook his head laughing.
Jan 7th, evening, Snowed in
After an afternoon of prayers (that hopefully the neighbors couldn't hear) Chase lay there on the bed, arm underneath Ben while the other was splayed outwards in the massive mattress. The covers hardly covering him as he tried to steady both his breathing and his heart rate. He looked over towards Ben, the smile on his face, the way his dark curls fell onto the white pillowcase, and he gave him a massive grin. ”I should go swimming more often.”
Ben was pleased. He had enjoyed swimming, he had enjoyed the afternoon activities. He smiled, lifting his chin to look at Chase better.
”I think I like this bed. It is massive. I didn't even know they made beds this big.” He sat up, the sheet draped like in a movie, cover only his waist down.
”We should definitely swim more. I am getting hungry though. Do you think the restaurant here has real tea? With as fancy as this place is, they have got to know how to make a proper cuppa. We should also explore the space some. I know we haven't seen everything this room has to offer yet.”
There were bathrobes in the bathroom. Ben considered grabbing one to explore the room.
”Oh I'm sure the food here is fire.” Chase sat up and leaned in to give Ben a kiss before sliding out of the bed. ”Might see if the rents can snag me a bed like this. Love all the space it has.” He stretched lazily like a cat waking up from a sunbath, his back arching as he let out a small content noise. ”Its two floors, two floors. There's so much to explore just in here.”
”I didn't even know hotel rooms could be two floors.” Ben laughed. He watched Chase stretch and move with a small smile, enjoying the show. He leaned over him and kissed him again.
”So explore, food, and then what?” he asked, still leaning over Chase.
”I'm all up for praying some more if we don't find anything else to do. But so long as I'm with you I'm happy. Wonder if there's a private hot tub or something. A quiet place for just you and I to relax.” Chase looked towards the door, towards where his phone sat in the other room. ”I think Danni would be mad if we used the spa here. As nice as it sounds to get a massage.”
A massage did sound nice, but Ben thought of Chase's back again and said, ”I can give you massage if you want one. And prayers again sound nice.” Ben followed Chase out into the larger space, he grabbed the robe from the bathroom hanger and wrapped himself in it, covering the marks on his body. The ones with a story to tell of two teens unsupervised doing things adults would not approve of. Yeah, a massage was a bad idea. They'd have to figure out what to do on the eventual day they went to the sauna with Danni. Ben hadn't yet thought about the size of the room of such things. He hadn't yet considered how bad his claustrophobia was. It was too newly defined for such thoughts.
Chase watched as the robe was slipped onto Ben, the delicate motion of it, and the marks it hid. He chuckled to himself as he considered what getting a massage outside would entail. ”Yeah, maybe not showing off those uh…marks would be best. Don't see the need for a robe though, we're just walking around the room yeah?” Chase raised an eyebrow towards Ben, making his way up the stairs into the second floor. He had no shame in his body, no care for who saw.
Ben's face warmed. He enjoyed getting the marks, oh did he ever. However, he was not comfortable with blanket nakedness, even in a space with someone who had put those marks there. He kept the robe on.
Ben followed after Chase, looking around the space of the hotel room. That was an understatement. It was a deluxe suite. Matt had balked at the price tag, had been stoically upset, but caved. The options were otherwise limited.
It was upstairs, through a set of glass doors that the balcony space came into view. It was still snowing, heavy enough that being outside could be dangerous, not so heavy that there weren't people who were willing to risk it. Ben watched the snow. He had never really experienced it, not like this, not where it lay thick on the mountain side covering anything and everything. A mound of it caught his attention. It was around a circle of warmth.
”Chase, look, I think you were right. There is a hot tub.” Ben moved to the sliding glass doors and started to open it. He was not dressed to run out into that snow. They'd have to decide how to approach the hot tub. He wanted to go in, but he didn't want to walk through the snow nearly nude to get to it.
”No. Fucking. Way. Babe, we have to. Snow storm be damned.” This place was amazing, this room was amazing. Danni would certainly be jealous of all this. Chase looked down at the snow that layered the floor, then back towards the hot tub. ”Fuck it.” Chase opened the glass door, the chill of the outside air blowing in as he quickly made his way towards the hot tub, jumping into it almost like a kid doing parkour. The ground was freezing, his feet burned slightly from the cold before the intensity changed and the warmth of the water went from good to too hot. Normally he would acclimate, go down slowly, but the weather wouldn't allow for that. So he dipped straight down, water to the base of his neck.
Ben watched as Chase did the insane. He laughed, dropped the robe just inside the room, and followed suit. He also didn't let his head dip below the water, but that was more a consideration of not wanting to sit in the snow with wet hair.
”You’re nuts,” he giggled. ”I can't believe this place. It is crazy.” He hoped again in a mild way that the storm would last, and the roads wouldn't be cleared and that they'd get at least a couple days here. As long as they were out by the 11th it'd be alright. The drive back would be long and would suck, that whole way back, but they'd have fun anyway. He also still wanted to see the last stop. The Redwoods.
”Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats, and rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once –” Chase droned on for a bit before wading his way over towards Ben. He giggled, looking up at the sky as snow fell on them. ”I wish that this could last forever.”
Ben didn't know the reference and so he looked at little confused and concerned. But Chase giggled and that reassured him. Ben carefully wrapped himself into and around Chase's limbs.
”I was thinking nearly the same thing,” Ben sighed knowing it wouldn't last forever. But he'd remember it forever.
”At least we can room back at school. We may not get two floors, a hot tub, three beds, and all these amenities, but we'll have each other, our company, prayers, cuddles, kisses.” Chase placed a kiss to Ben's head. All the while thinking about just how perfect he was. All the while wondering when the floor would fall out from beneath his feet. Danni felt like a nuclear bomb, that message sitting on the counter like a timer waiting to go off.
Ben kissed Chase back, a smile on his lips. ”How does the dorm system work? Can we ask for a specific roommate? I didn't pay that close attention when we were filling out the paperwork. Is it too late to ask?”
Ben wasn't worried that the housing wouldn't allow them to dorm together. Maybe if they were a straight couple. He knew how much heteronormatie informed policies like that.
Chase shrugged. ”No idea. Didn't really care until I met you. Peej and Morgan handled it all for me.” He pulled Ben further into his embrace. A quick reminder to them both that neither was wearing any clothes. ”I just figure it makes sense. Everyone's already got roommates right? Two new students come in, makes sense to pair them together.”
”Hmm, true. But there are triple rooms. What if we end up in separate ones, or one with a third person?” Ben asked, part of him thinking it would be fine if it were Danni as the third. They could make that work. But he didn't let the thought linger.
”Then they can deal with us praying or gtfo when we want to. We have like two thirds majority vote in that instance.”
Ben laughed. The euphemism they used to discuss sex amused him. He was not so pious as to pray nearly as much as he had since this trip had started.
”Sounds good,” he said, settling in a little more into Chase. The water was warm and the air cold. Snow fell around and on them, melting into the hot water. Some flakes caught in his hair unnoticed by him.
”Whatever the situation we'll figure it out and make it work. Together.”
”What's the worst that could happen?”
(*＾3＾)/～☆ヽ(=ﾟωﾟ)人(ﾟωﾟ=)ﾉ
Once night finally fell and Chase bid Ben goodnight, he laid in bed with him for a while. He wanted to make sure he was deep enough into his slumber that moving wouldn't bother him. Chase slipped out of bed, kissing Ben's cheek, before making his way over towards his phone and staring at the last messages sent to Danni. His stomach churned at the thought of having this conversation, at how many more times he may have to have it and with who. He hated this.
Chase sent off the message to Danni, sitting in a chair in the room with no light beyond his phone's backlight. After a couple rounds of texting, he began to wonder why he was even doing this. He didn't know this guy, he didn't owe him anything. Danni could just fuck off for all he cared. Chase looked back towards the bed, and the visage of Ben sleeping so soundly, cuddled up into the sheets like an angel, this was why he was doing this.
Chase got up from the chair and went upstairs to another room. His texting got a bit more frantic as he began to pace. Every second Danni hadn't texted back was agonizing. Every message Danni did send back doubly so. He hadn't expected any of this to hit him so hard. He hadn't expected to miss Percy so bad. It had barely been a year, and still… What truly shocked Chase was how much Danni actually seemed to care, not just about the situation or Percy but about him, about his side. Why would anyone care about his side? He was the villain in Percy's story and rightfully so. Tears streamed down his face, typing became harder, and by the end of it all Chase had gone into another bed and sobbed into the pillow for the rest of the night. By morning he was exhausted.
Jan 8th-9th, Snowed in
The next day the storm continued. Snow fell, not quite in white out conditions, but it finally ended around midday of the 9th and almost immediately the snow patrols were out clearing the roads. The boys decided they’d wait for the pass to be cleared so they could go to the Redwoods. It would take a while, they were hoping that the next day it would be clear enough. So they spent the eighth day of the year at the hotel.
They hung out in their room, their hot tub, and in the pool. They had agreed to not go to the spa, though Ben was curious enough to poke his head in and check it out a bit. He didn’t get a chance to check out the sauna. They watched a couple of movies, chatted, and prayed. Morgan really did see the future it seemed.
Ben had been mulling over something he wanted to ask Chase. He had noticed on the first night, during their shower, that Chase had marks on his back. He hadn’t wanted to ruin the mood at any point, and so he hadn’t asked. He had been nervous. But after the massage and Chase’s lack of reaction to the marks being touched Ben decided it wasn’t something that needed to be brought up immediately, but he still wanted to ask. To make sure Chase was okay. During one of their stops, between the hotel near Sequoia and Yosemite, Ben finally got up the nerve.
”Hey Chase,” he started, he was bouncing on the balls of his feet. ”I want to ask you something, but it’s probably a little personal. I just, I don’t know how to ask.”
Chase was leaned against the passenger door of the Jeep, his hands in his jacket pockets to help keep the cold away. When Ben brought up the idea of a personal question his stomach fell. He had thought the conversation about how they got their powers, or how they were orphaned, was off the table. It was never explicitly stated, but neither ever dared approach the subject, and suddenly Ben had a personal question? It made him feel on edge. ”What's up?”
Ben took a deep breath, and stopped his bouncing, ”You have marks on your back. It looks like bruising, and um... I don’t know, needle marks maybe? Are you... safe?” Ben wasn’t sure if that was really what he was asking. He knew that some kids when they came to school with bruises got taken from their parents. But these were strange.
All concepts of what the conversation was going to be about got abandoned the second Ben opened his mouth again. ”Am I safe? What like do I have STI's?” Chase tried to laugh off the question, but his mind kept fixating on the first part. He had…bruises? Needle marks? What the hell was Ben on about?
”Uh, no. I mean, I would like to know if you do so we can deal with that. But that’s not what I mean. Like, you’re not getting hit by anyone right? No one is hurting you. I wasn’t sure, because when I gave you the massage you didn’t wince or flinch away. But it covers most of your back.” Ben was a little thrown off about the mention of STI’s. He hadn’t even considered that since Chase had said he was his first serious relationship. Though, Ben supposed there are other ways to get that. Needles being one of them. He shuffled his feet.
Chase tried to keep a smile, he really did, but his lip kept twitching as the muscles fought him before he finally looked down at the ground. He tried to speak several times, none of them successful. His legs felt weak, suddenly the Jeep felt as if it was all that was keeping him from crashing to the ground. ”What uh…what do mean? Nobody hits me, Nobody–” His voice was shaky, his hand balled into a fist as he slammed it against the car door behind him before he tilted his head back against the window.
Ben had never been hit by a friend or family member, not in a serious way. He didn’t flinch, just a little jump at the noise, but not a true flinch. He was worried about Chase. Unsure if Chase needed space or would want him touching him. Did he?
”Chase?” he asked, his voice a little shaky. Ben reached out, fingers questing for Chase’s hand. If Chase pulled back, he’d let him. If not he’d move closer, hug him, or something, give him reassurances. Ben didn’t know what to do. He had never dealt with anything like this before.
”Do you... need help?” Ben was sure Matt would help. Matt was the type to drop everything and fly across the world to be there. Matt would help, Matt would know what to do. Ben would call Matt and he’d be there. They’d figure it out.
Chase took in a long and shaky breath. ”What I need is to know what the fuck youre on about. Is this some cruel prank? Huh? This how you get your kicks?” The irony of it all wasn't wasted on Chase. After all, he had relentlessly bullied the first boy to confess their love to him, not because of that no, it had nothing to do with the profession of love towards him and everything to do with what had come after, the abandonment of years of friendship gone. Now it felt as if the world had decided to deal out a bit of Karmic justice. He knew all of this was too good to be true.
As Ben tried to get closer, Chase pushed himself off the Jeep and moved away from him. His stomach in knots. He paced vigorously back and forth past Ben over and over again. A whirlwind of emotions. Finally he stopped, he had to believe Ben wasn't like that. Had to hope…Chase ripped his shirt off from over his head along with his jacket before tossing them onto the ground. ”Show me.”
Ben pulled back, almost switching places with Chase, pressed against the jeep. He watched as Chase paced. What did Chase mean? He wasn’t pranking him. He wasn’t lying. Why would he? And it was upsetting Chase way more than he thought it would. He hadn’t expected that much of a reaction. He figured Chase would be upset. That was why he had been so nervous about asking.
Ben fumbled at his pocket, pulling out his cell phone and snapping a photo. ”Here.” He held out the phone, the photo showing the marks on Chase’s back.
Chase slowly traced his fingers along his back, his sides, looking for the points in the picture Ben was showing him. His legs gave out as he fell to the floor, kicking himself away as he scampered backwards from Ben. Fear took over as his breathing became erratic. His eyes became wet with tears as visions of the lab came flooding back in. All he could say was one word over and over again. No.
”Hey, Chase, breathe.” Ben dashed forward, going to his knees and reaching for Chase’s hands. He hadn’t had time to catch Chase. But he wanted to help. Chase had just walked him through his own panic attack the day before. Now it was his turn. ”Look at me. Come on, focus, breathe.”
”No. Ben stay back! Please, please…” Chase begged his boyfriend as tears continued to stream down his cheeks. Shadows growing closer and closer to the pair. ”I don't want to hurt you. I can't hurt you. Not you.” His hands kept purchase against the marks on his back as his voice sounded torn, afraid.
Ben froze. That was so unlike Chase. Could he hurt him? Ben thought of the swords. Thought of places shadows could lead to. A dozen ideas filled him, followed by fear. Chase wouldn’t hurt him intentionally. But in panic he might. He pulled back, just a little bit.
”Chase, look at me.” Ben’s voice was gentle, quiet. ”Please.”
Chase tried to look at Ben, but he was afraid of what might be looking back. The shadows along the floor began to peel off the ground like tendrils, whipping wildly around Chase. He looked back down, head between his knees as he muttered to himself. ”What more could they take from me. “
Ben pulled back farther as the tendrils of shadow started to whip around. Chase had looked at him, but quickly looked away. Ben didn’t know how to ground him. How to help him out of the panic. Whatever about this had triggered for Chase was not the same as Ben’s issue. Ben licked his lips, nervous.
”Who?” This was probably a bad idea to ask. The two of them had been so careful around certain subjects. Avoiding things like they were pits. Neither had asked, neither had offered. It had been an uneasy, unspoken agreement, but it had been working. Ben was starting to realize he had found one of those pits. That he had opened the proverbial can of worms. He still didn’t know if Chase needed help, or if this was a thing from the past. Some wound that hadn’t healed yet.
The question was simple, but Chase hardly had an answer. He didn't have an answer to any of this. The only face he recalled clearly was the picture of the girl, hung with pride and taunting him every waking day. The muffled voices difficult to decipher from within the tank. The faces long since abandoned after he'd ensured they'd never hurt another again, never hurt him again. The question was like a single drop of water, and it sent ripples down Chase's mind. For a brief moment the tendrils stopped writhing, hanging still in the air around him. His eyes were now pitch black, staring at Ben as if to search for the answer upon his face.
”I don't even know their names…” Chase chuckled, his tone broken and delusional.
Ben had indeed, fucked up. His stomach dropped. Chase, oh sweet, funny, caring Chase. There was a bit of relief. It wasn’t his adoptive family. Not Morgan or PJ, they weren’t at fault. That meant it wasn’t a current issue. Hopefully. Chase was... safe.
Should he ask more? Should he push it and make Chase tell him what happened? He knew it was important to talk about the terrible things. It helped you process them. Chase was like a live wire. Ben was worried, not afraid, but worried. If he pushed, would Chase snap? Or if he didn’t, would it be worse? Chase would potentially bottle it all up and someday it could be worse. Ben remembered his mum telling him to talk about his feelings. Remembered discussing things that had happened and she had walked him through so many things. Fuck. He missed her. He needed her. How was someone supposed to grieve for someone when that person was always their support?
Ben pushed that aside. He’d worry about himself later. He met Chase’s eyes, pitch black, and gave him a soft, reassuring smile.
”You’re here, with me. They aren’t here. Tell me about it. Don’t hurt yourself by bottling it up.”
The shadows pulsed. As if waiting for a command, waiting to strike. Chase stared at Ben through inky darkness, and his words just melted down his walls. The tendrils lashed out and gripped Ben, pulling him into Chase's arms before they vanished back to where they came. He gripped Ben tight, sobbing into his shoulder as he tried to muster up the courage to talk about what had happened. Every breath felt heavy, felt as if he was back in that place, as if he couldn't breathe. Chase gripped tighter and tighter as his fingers dug into Ben's shirt.
Ben let out a small sigh of relief when the shadows went away. Chase was now pressed against him. Ben moved so they could sit, hugging each other, he rocked Chase a little bit, and rubbed a hand up and down his back. He’d give him time. Time to catch his breath. He tried to make soothing noises like his mum used to. He tried to say comforting words. Those were mostly, ”I’m here.”
Some time had passed, Chase silent all the while Ben sat and comforted him, hidden by the Jeep's body and covered by its shadow. Finally Chase's grip lessened, he sniffled as he pulled away but barely. He wasn't ready to let go yet. ”I don't want you to hate me…to – to see me differently.” There was a hitch in his voice.
Ben considered that, he still rubbed his hand over Chase’s back. There was very little that Chase could have ever done that would make Ben hate him.
”Hmm, I can’t say I won’t look at you differently. I look at you differently than I did at the Contest, or at the skate park. I look at you differently than I did the first day. Every time we do or say something we change the perceptions of others. I can’t even promise that what you say won’t make me hate you. But,” Ben added quickly and emphatically. ”I can promise that I will listen to everything you have to say and I’ll hold judgement as best as I can.” That was something his mum used to say. If he thought he’d get in trouble and he needed to tell her. She’d tell him she’d listen to everything before passing judgement.
Chase chuckled. It was weak, almost non-existent, but it had happened nonetheless. ”OK Shakespeare.” He tried to readjust himself, to hold Ben's hands. He couldn't look at Ben, he didn't want to see his reactions to anything he had to say. Hells, he didn't even want to be saying it. But there was just something about this kid that made Chase weak. ”I don't even know where to begin, what to say…” He got quiet again. Squeezing Ben's hands before letting out a sigh as he tried to steel himself.
Chase opened his mouth but nothing came out. Silence taking over once again before finally ”I was kidnapped. I uh…I was taken, and trapped, and experimented on for…gods I don't even know. There was no way to track time or days or hours. No windows to look into how the world was going. Every day new needles, new tests, new tortures. They treated me like a lab rat, I…” His breath shuddered. His legs moved closer to his body again as he began to close up. As he began to try and regain some composure.
His eyes had a far off look as he stared, not at the ground but past it if he could. ”I couldn't tell you everything they did to me, I wasn't even fully conscious for some of them. I remember…my back had pieces attached to it, some way to make injections easier I'm sure.” His fingers traced the spots once more as he thought back. ”They were researching something, but I don't know what, all I know is something finally clicked. I felt so much pain, my veins felt like they were frozen, next thing I knew the tank I was in was in pure darkness. Then something broke me out, or well…somehow I was able to break out but my powers…what they did to me…I was out of control, I was so full of rage and pain and I was so afraid they'd find me again and the others that were there and…and…I – I killed them all. Every last scientist there…” The tears began welling up again.
Ben’s eyes widened in surprise with the very first sentence. He thought again about his Uncle. He was basically a cop, right? Maybe he could help. But Ben held his thoughts, kept them to himself and let Chase talk. He kept comforting him, rubbing his back and gently rocking him. As Chase talked he became increasingly angry at Chase’s kidnappers. They had done such horrid things. When Chase said that he had killed all the scientists, Ben finally understood.
He understood why Chase was afraid that Ben would hate him. Ben didn’t. Dear god, he did not hate him. Some what if’s passed through his mind and he ignored them. Because none of that had happened. And these people were in the wrong. They deserved it.
”I don’t hate you.” He took Chase’s head into his hands and gently kissed him, with his thumb he wiped at the tears that had formed. ”Hell. That’s where you were. And you did what you had to and escaped. You’re free. Because you saved yourself.”
Chase didn't feel like he deserved the kiss, like he deserved this form of love. ”How could you not hate me? I'm a monster, they turned me into a monster!” No, that wasn't quite right. He was a monster far before this had happened. Percy was right about that much. The scientists just helped to bring it to the surface for everyone else to see. ”I can hardly close my eyes without seeing those scenes again, seeing everything they did to me. I can't. I can't sleep Ben. I haven't slept in months.” His breathing began to quicken again as it all came rushing back.
Ben shook his head. ”You’re not a monster. You killed the real monsters. Someone who does that to a kid, that’s horrible, that’s monstrous. Hey, breathe, slow down, breathe. You’re here, with me. You’re free. See, look at me. I’m here with you. This is real.” Ben didn’t know how to address the sleeping issue, but a few things about this trip made more sense. Chase was always awake first. He had done a lot of art during the late hours of the night. Ben was pretty certain people couldn’t go that long without sleep, but he didn’t completely understand the X-gene. Heck, he barely understood his own alien body. He wasn’t human, not really. In another time he’d be discriminated against. Matt and his parents talked about it.
Chase tried to focus on Ben, hear his voice, feel his touch. He tried grounding himself as best he could. The tears wouldn't stop, it had been so long since he'd allowed himself to feel anything about this, so afraid he'd hurt even more if he did. His family had deserved it, but not PJ or Morgan. Certainly not Ben. He laid his head down on Ben's shoulder once more. ”I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.” He cried to him.
Ben held Chase, he rubbed his back and rocked him gently. ”You don’t have to apologize. Not for that, not for this. I’ve got you,” he said as he kept trying to comfort Chase.
Chase simply nodded into Ben's shoulder. Unable to speak as his breath stayed uneven through the sobs. Finally he'd stopped to look up at the sky, trying hard to stop crying as he changed his breathing and fanned himself. After a moment, he'd calmed himself a little. ”Fuck me.”
Ben let Chase take his time. When Chase had calmed down and spoke Ben smiled, that was better. ”As you wish.”
Chase laughed. He didn't know he could still do that. ”Don't tempt me Big Ben. I may just take you up on that offer right now. “
Ben’s cheeks reddened a little. He wasn’t surprised, he was relieved. If Chase could laugh and say that then things would be okay. He smiled. ”Glad you’re up for it, but uh... how about not on the side of the road.” He considered opening up. Telling Chase what happened to his parents. Today had been intense, that’d be better for later.
”Back of the Jeep it is then. I can darken the windows so no one looks in. “
The red in Ben’s face reddened even more. ”We can, if you really want to. I don’t know if I’m up for the... whole nine yards. But we can mess around.”
”Benny Boi…I just had a horrible life experience pulled out of me to relive like an open scab. I'm not exactly in the mood to fool around. OK, well, not entirely. If im being honest I could absolutely fuck the shit out of something right now.”
”Yeah, I thought as much.” He felt his groin pull still at Chase’s comment. Well fuck. This was a bad idea. Right? They should just get back into the jeep and continue going to Yosemite.
Chase's shoulders slumped slightly. A part of him had really wanted to get out all this energy. He felt lethargic and exhausted but was also filled with anger at what had happened all over again. Anger and frustration he wanted to get out in a ‘healthy’ way.
Ben bit his lip. Is that what Chase needed? Was this the right thing to do? He was still holding Chase. He wanted to help him. A tiny war waged in Ben.
”How can I help?” He finally asked. He didn’t know what to do, but maybe Chase would know what he needed.
”As much as I would love to ravage your body and absolutely pleasure you in the most carnal way, I don't want your first time to be on the side of the road after I just cried my eyes out. “
Ben nodded, his groin pulling again at Chase’s words. ”Then how about we get back into that car and hit the road? Or do you need some more time?”
”Do you mind if we wait a little more? My legs feel like jelly and I can't exactly drive like that. “
”We can wait as long as you need. Means I don’t have to be in the car.” Ben grinned.
”Fair fair. Maybe one day, car sex.”
Ben thought about it, and the pit of fear that he had when thinking about any small place was there. ”Uh... I think I’m going to be real honest here and say, I don’t think I could actually go for that. Remember you’re the one who said I have claustrophobia.”
”OK but what if we lowered the seats all down so it was all one big space and removed the roof?”
”Maybe, the roof being gone probably will help more than anything. I think I’d have to see it to be sure.” He shrugged.
Chase smiled and kissed Ben. ”Such a dork. You ready?”
Ben kissed Chase back. ”I am if you are.” He started to stand, offering to help Chase back to his feet.
Chase took Ben's hand, helping himself up nice and easy as he was afraid he may still fall back down. ”Hey, Bug Boi? Thanks.”
”You walked me through what happened to me. And I wasn’t going to have my boyfriend not supported by me.” Ben smiled and pulled Chase into a hug.
Chase froze. His hands caught midway into the hug as the words Ben said processed through his mind. Sure they'd talked about it a few nights ago before fooling around, but to hear Ben actually utter the words ‘my boyfriend’ and mean him. It felt, different. He'd dated before, had girlfriends before, and sure he still liked girls but to be his boyfriend. He smiled, and melted right into Ben's arms with the hug.
Ben felt the change in tension. He smiled. It was a relief. He probably didn’t handle that perfectly. But who could expect him to. He had never dealt with anything like that before. He held Chase tight, and let him end the hug.
”So I know we kinda planned a whole thing around National Parks and nature and what not but…mind if we change pace a bit? Could you sit for a prolonged period of time with like entertainment and a meal?”
”I can sit through a movie. If it is something like that. I’m fine if you want to do that.” Ben loved this trip and if it changed a little bit from the plan he was happy with that.
”Ever been to Medieval Times?” Chase grinned.
”Uh, that sounds interesting. I don’t know what that is though.” Ben smiled back.
”Oh its great! You get sorted to your own Knight by color, get crowns and they have swords and things for sale. It's a full dinner experience with jousting and other horse or knight related entertainment.” Chase pulled his phone out and looked up where it was. He hadn't been since he was a kid. ”Oh…it's kinda far…maybe another time then? Otherwise we'll never make it to the other parks.”
”That sounds cool, but I don’t want to mess up our trip if go there. Where is it?”
Chase turned the phone to show Ben the almost 4 hour drive back down south, away from where they were headed. ”Sorta…past Death Valley. I hadn't been in a while and usually slept on long car rides so it seemed closer to me.”
”Oh wow that’s a ways away. Yeah, it’d be totally back tracking. Maybe if we have time when we get back, or another day soon.” Ben wanted to go, it sounded cool, but it didn’t seem like it would work.
”What're the chances your Old Man has a secret jet that he can fly us down here in? Huh?”
Ben snorted. ”I don’t know. I suppose I could ask.”
Chase fist pumped the air. ”Oh please let him say yes!” He gasped. ”What if your backyard splits open to reveal a whole ship storage right beneath it?!”
”We just moved there. So I doubt that. But I’ll ask.” Ben pulls out his phone and texts his Uncle.
”Man I didn't think about what happens when you move. Does the plane stay with the property? Do you have to disclose on secret underground layers used for the government?”
Ben laughed, ”I have no idea. Suppose we can ask Matt later. Unfortunately, he does not have a plane. However, now he is worried about me. One moment.” He answered the call coming in from his uncle. Ben spoke to him for a minute reassuring him that there was nothing wrong. Really, it was totally fine.
Chase got up right behind Ben near the middle of the call, yelling so that hopefully Matt could hear him. ”Hey Mr. MOSS!!! THANKS FOR LETTING BEN OUT TO PLAY ITS BEEN SO MUCH FUN! WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO YOSEMITE BUT WERE CURIOUS ABOUT THE POTENTIAL TO FLY IN LA SOMEDAY!!! I THINK YOU'LL LOVE MEDIEVAL TIMES!!!”
Ben looked at Chase and mouthed, ”Oh my god.” He shakes his head and finishes his conversation with Matt. Once the call is over Ben looks at Chase, ”He was so confused.” Ben laughs.
”Lucky you hung up. I was about to snag that phone and ask if he was done playing twenty questions so that I could get my boyfriend back.” Chase grinned.
Ben’s eyes went wide. Oh god he was going to have to tell Matt that Chase was his boyfriend. His face went red.
Chase relished in the silence. ”Don't tell me? All those daily updates to him and he doesn't know we're dating?” Chase faux gasped. ”Am I to be kept secret? Hidden away like something shameful?”
”That isn’t what is happening. I don’t want him to be weird about us traveling alone.” Ben said.
”So I shouldn't send him a photo of us in a single bed together?” His grin grew wider, more mischievous.
”Absolutly not.” Ben said, ”Stop teasing me, let’s go.”
”But I like seeing you get all red and flustered. It's cute. Aaaand kind of a turn on.” Chase made his way into the driver's seat to start up the car once more. ”What if I just kissed you when I drop you off? Oh! Or just call you babe?”
Ben got into the jeep and buried his head in his hands, covering his blushing face, but not his now red ears. ”Please, do not. Let me talk to him. I do not want him to realize how... uh adventurous we have been this week. God we’ve only been gone a few days he’d lose his mind.”
”Exactly! Think of how much more adventurous we can be.” Chase winked. ”So much more exploring to do, things to try out, taste.” He started the car and began to pull them out of the shoulder and back towards Yosemite.
”You might kill me from embarrassment.”
”Can't blame me. It's the accent, even that sounds adorable and worthy of further teasing.” Chase placed his hand on Ben's lap, running his thumb against his thigh.
”You’re the one with an accent. I speak the Queen’s English.” Ben sniffed. He did let go of his face, and squeezed Chase’s hand.
”Saying things like ‘the queens English’ is exactly why I have to keep going.”
Ben sighed. ”Punk.”
Ben’s backstory
Chase grinned at his small victory. As the music played and conversation lulled, Chase had been left alone with his thoughts. Most of which were about Ben in various manners. But there was one that kept nagging him. He chewed on his lower lip as he tried to find the right words, finally lowering the stereo to become background noise. ”So uh…mind if I ask you a personal question back?”
Ben had been relaxing, as well as he could in the car, he sat up and was a bit more tense at the request. ”Seems only fair. Go ahead.”
”Clearly I didn't get my powers by any conventional or wanted means…how uh…how was it getting yours? Learning to talk to bugs and all that?”
Ben shifted again. ”I suppose my powers, the process is technically conventional. I am inhuman. I’m technically an alien. But...” Ben took a deep breath. ”But how that happened was not. There is supposed to be an official process. My uncle told me about it. He met some people on the moon, after the M-Pox thing happened. Anyway, I was skipping school. A group of us did it and we got caught. The bobby took me to my parents' work. They worked together at a lab that worked on the Mist, that’s the thing that caused M-Pox. But what is important is it also puts us inhumans through terrigensis, it is how we get our powers. Something went wrong, and a bunch of the mist was released. My parents died in the accident. I was... in this cocoon thing and they died.” His voice cracked.
Chase tried hard to follow and listen to Ben's tale. Several things shooting through his mind as he did. First, Ben was an alien? He was dating an alien? That's so cool, and kinda super hot. Second was the term bobby. It took him a bit, but he finally pieced together that it likely meant some form of law enforcement. The rest he didn't fully follow. The Mist? Matt went to The Moon? There was so much Chase was curious about until Ben mentioned that was how his parents died. ”Oh, fuck. Shit man, I'm sorry. I…I don't know anything about this stuff you're talking about and I really don't want to be insensitive. But if you need to talk about it you know I'm here for you right?” Chase turned his hand over to hold Ben's, squeezing it.
”I don't even really know how to explain most of it. But I know.” Ben smiled and squeezed Chase’s hand. ”Not as horrible, but it fucking sucks. The accident wasn't my fault. It would have happened even if I hadn't been there. But I was there. And the cocoon, I mean that literally. I was in it for ages.” He took a ragged breath. ”It was intense. I could feel myself changing, it hurt. I knew... I saw visions of insects. And that was weirdly reassuring and calming. When everything hurt and I was so... scared. Not to sound like a little kid. But I was terrified.”
Chase was fixated on the road, but every once in a while he side eyed Ben as he talked. ”Woah woah woah. Few things here, let's not compare scars. What happened to you is equally horrible and cannot be diminished by what happened to me ok? Second you are a little kid, and thats ok. We aren't heroes, and we don't have to be. Fuck we aren't even perfect my guy, well you and i together kinda are perfect but that's besides the point. The point of we are kids, we have powers, that's it. I'm sorry you went through all of that, I wish you hadn't but also…both these experiences led us to each other. Though, what're the odds we both got put into a small container to gain powers?”
”That's how it always works for my kind. It can be different lengths of time though. But you're right. We shouldn't compare. Also, I'm 14, not a little kid.” Ben looked out the side window.
”Do you mind if we pull over again? I need to move.”
Chase looked at the time on the console. He hadn't figured an hour had passed by yet but…”As you wish.” He began to turn the wheel and get them back off to the side of the road before finally parking. ”Also you are a little kid, we both are. Unless your Old Man or my rents ask. Then we're full adults who know what we're doing and don't need any help.”
Ben smiled, but it was strained. As soon as the vehicle stopped he was out of it and several feet away, hands on his knees trying to center himself and calm his breathing.
Chase watched, worried from within the car at how far and fast Ben had left. He figured it had to deal with what they were talking about, maybe thinking about that cocoon triggered some form of claustrophobia? Making Ben feel as if he was back in that space? Chase didn’t know, but he got out of the car slowly, cautiously, as he approached Ben. ”Hey Big Ben, what do you need from me? What can I do to help?” Chase tried to give him space, not wanting to crowd someone who may feel as if they were stuck in a confined space, but he so desperately wanted to hug and hold his boyfriend in this time of need.
Ben didn’t say anything, he just reached out his hand, holding it out for Chase to grab.
Chase instantly grabbed Ben’s hand. Holding it, squeezing it, kissing it as he knelt beside Ben. ”Im here Babe, I’ve got you. Just focus on breathing ok?”
Ben nodded, he squeezed Chase’s hand. He looked at Chase, his eyes watering a little. ”Sorry,” he apologized. ”If it weren’t for the fact that I know small places bothered me before terrigensis I’d think that was the cause. But now that I know what to look for I can find instances of it all the way back as long as I can remember. I don’t know why I’m afraid of it, which is stupid,” Ben said once his breathing got under control enough.
”It’s like the underwear aisle in men's clothing sections, or locker rooms. It’s fine, I get it. This -” Chase held up their hands held together ”This is more important to me than some National Park. Those will always be here, they don't move and hardly change. But you with me? Making sure you're safe, happy, and having fun? That’s what matters to me, ok? So if I have to stop a few times to get you jumpin around like a mexican bean then that’s what I'll do. It’s not stupid, it's a phobia. You can’t exactly choose them or ignore them. I get it. Wanna know what I'm afraid of? It's so stupid.”
Ben stood up, he raised an eyebrow at the underwear aisle comment. ”What are you afraid of?”
”Puppets. They’re so damn creepy man. The way they look at you, the way they move. No thanks! Absolute horror shows those things.”
Ben smiled, ”I can kind of understand. I mean I like the muppets, but if you’re talking about marionettes those things are creepy,” Ben agreed.
”I…didn’t think about muppets. I more meant the wooden kind. Jim Hensons are cool though, but like them and porcelain dolls… Chase shuddered at the thought.
”I feel better,” Ben sighed. ”Not just because you’re afraid of puppets. But getting out and catching my breath. Thank you.” Ben pulled Chase into a hug. ”I did not expect this. I didn’t expect to like you this much. I didn’t expect to break down so much, but I’m kind of glad. I would have never been this vulnerable with my mates back in London.” Ben didn’t call London home.
Chase let out a sigh from his heart, a small exhalation in a moment of realization as Ben hugged him and caught him by surprise. Again, his hands were slow to react, frozen as his eyes went wide before finally holding his boyfriend in his arms. London, he had said London. Perhaps it was nothing, but the word had caught him off guard. ”I’m really glad you do like me this much to be honest. I was so nervous that maybe what had taken so long for the answer back was because you were buying time to say no or hope that i gave up…I’m glad i was wrong about it.”
”I do like you.” Ben pulled back from the hug and looked Chase in the eyes. ”You’re very thoughtful, and fun, and cute.” All Chase could do was smile. How he got so lucky with such a cute guy? He’d never know. ”Please, I'm nothing special. Im just showin a boy a few bugs around the wonderful state of California. That's all.”
”Yeah, and you want to know who has done that for me, or anything like that ever before? No one. Like yeah I went on trips with my parents, but the focus was never insects. It was their interests.” He shrugged. ”This is the coolest trip I’ve ever done, and with some of my favorite company.”
”You’re just saying that cuz you think I'm hot” Chase countered with a bit of a laugh. ”Wait, some of? Now who all is this other favorite company? I’d like to have some words with them”
”The insects in my room.” Ben rolled his eyes. ”And while I do think you’re hot, I’m not saying this to yank your chain or anything. I am serious. Thank you.”
”I know I know, I'm just giving you a hard time is all. Beside’s im sure if you wanted to yank anything it would be more than my chain.” Chase placed a kiss on top of Ben’s head. ”I really like being with you. I know we have like six more days left together but…im not exactly ready for them to end just yet.”
Ben leaned up against Chase again. ”Yeah, I don’t want it to end either.” He took a deep breath, taking in Chase’s scent. He was feeling better and like he could get back in the Jeep, he didn’t want to, but he could.
”What’re the chances your Old Man would let you spend the night at my place sometime? Say..the night before schoo?”
”He would probably want to chat with Morgan before, but as long as he doesn’t know we’re dating, he’ll be okay with it. As soon as I tell him we’re dating that and this sort of thing might be off the table. He’ll be very ‘need a chaperone’ about things. The fact that we got away without an ‘adult’ on this trip was shy of a miracle that came about because he met Morgan,” Ben smiled. ”He is taking ‘being a parent’ duty very seriously. And he knows what my parents believed about raising a kid so he is trying to stay as true to that as he can.”
”Soooo. What if we just…never tell him. Like we're just two very close friends, history would call us roommates type deal.”
”You’re the one who was so upset I hadn’t already told him.”
”That was before his knowledge of us threatened the very existence of you in my arms at night.”
Ben laughed, ”Those are your choices, I keep you a secret, or I tell him and you never get to be alone with me ever again.”
Chase pulled Ben in and began kissing him all over his face. Speaking between each and every kiss. ”Secret. Secret. Definitely Secret. I want all the time with you. So. Secret.”
Ben giggled after the third ‘secret,’ ”Alright, alright, noted. Secret. This means you can’t be mad. I bet Morgan already knows hmm?”
Chase scoffed, pulling out a condom from his pocket. ”What do you think?” He laughed before sliding in Ben’s pocket.
Ben’s face turned bright red. ”Yeahhhh, she knows.” He took a deep breath. ”Okay, I can get back in the car now. I don’t feel like I’m going to be squeezed to death by... something.”
”Oh?” Chase smirked, squeezing Ben's ass. ”I think there's can be plenty of squeezing going on.” His arms still around Ben's waist as he began to walk closer to the car but not letting go, taking steps to either side of Ben's feet as he dragged him back.
Ben yelped in surprise at the ass grabbing, and awkwardly shuffled with Chase back to the Jeep. ”Oh my god you’re silly.”
”As putty.” Chase pressed another kiss to Ben's cheek before opening the Jeep's door with one hand and lifting him into the seat. He placed his head on Ben's lap for a moment. ”Oh you are absolutely going to ruin me aren't you?”
Ben was grinning, ”I have no idea what you mean my knight.”
Chase's voice was gravely, low, a whisper as he stared off into the back of the car from Ben's lap. ”My king I think you do, and I wouldn't have it any other way.” He looked up, slowly starting into Ben's eyes as a smile made its way before he lifted Ben's hand and kissed the back of it softly.
Ben pulled Chase’s hand back and kissed his knuckles. From there the two of them kept driving and eventually after only a couple of hours they made it, this was probably the shortest drive the pair of them had.
Yosemite
Again they went into the visitor’s center, picked up maps, and their stamps. After Chase stamped Ben’s face he took a selfie and sent it to his Uncle again. It was cold, not freezing, and it had snowed here. They were lucky that it wasn’t actively snowing, but it was a little on the misty side. A lot of the snow had already melted, but there were still some large patches around. This was the perfect time to see some of the waterfalls, other than later in spring when the waterfalls would be glutted with snowmelt.
”Alright my King, have you fasted your eyes upon a waterfall?” Did London have waterfalls? Chase didn't know, but it was certainly a sight to behold, well sometimes. He'd gone to one National Park where the ‘waterfall’ was only about twice his height and the water was more of a trickle than a fall. He laced his hands into Ben's, pulling out his notes with the other. ”So I did a little more digging since apparently bugs have cycles or whatever and some aren't in season. However, I did find two super cool ones that are in season and I'd love to see and I'm sure you would too. The first is a Rugnose Stag Beetle, He's small but mighty. The second is a Pine Trogo..Tro, it's a cool looking Pine Beetle.”
Ben was in a way better mood with time and distance between their emotional breakdowns. Being in Yosemite was perfect too. The place was beautiful. It was fairly similar to Sequoia, but had different things to offer.
”I’ve seen a waterfall before, but happy to check out the one here,” Ben said, not realizing that Yosemite was host to over 25 named ones. ”Is that what you did last night while I was sleeping?” Ben knew about the cycles, which was why they hadn’t seen much in the way of butterflies since leaving Death Valley that, even in the dead of winter, was warm enough for them to survive.
”Amongst other things yeah.” It felt weird to talk about. Taboo. He'd hidden the fact that he couldn't sleep from others for so long that…having someone who knew it felt, different. He couldn't tell how or why, but a small piece of him enjoyed it.
Ben squeezed Chase’s hand and smiled. ”Well, lead the way, how long is the hike?” Ben knew Yosemite was supposed to be giant. And there was some really big slab of stone that he had seen pictures of.
”Not gonna lie to ya, no idea. Since my beautiful and wonderful King is so fond of walks and open spaces I figured who cares how long it is. But I, your humble knight, can certainly pave the path for you.” Chase tugged gently on Ben's hand before venturing forth through the trails. ”Pip pip Tally ho and all that good stuff.”
Ben laughed. ”You’re ridiculous.” Ben interweaved his fingers with Chase’s. ”I do like walks and open spaces. I thought that was just being a boy thing, but I guess there was more of a reason.”
”Oh yeah. Boys being boys, pals being pals, just bros being bros you know? Two dudes, nature, lots of wood between the forest and them.” Chase raised an eyebrow then laughed. It was adorable how Ben thought sometimes.
Ben laughed again at Chase’s jokes. ”Yeah, there is so much wood here.” He laughed at his own joke.
”In my defense, I had no idea. I just hated it. I didn’t think about it.” He shrugged.
”In your defense you also didn't know you liked two types of wood. Then again, neither did I until your rascally little face tried to kiss me.” Chase smiled, clearly fond of the memory of their first kiss.
Ben blushed, ”Wait, you didn’t know until I kissed you? You were coming on pretty strong for not knowing.” It was Ben’s turn to raise an eyebrow.
”It was partially undecided. I worked things out with a therapist sure, but…I don't know man I'd never kissed a guy or been intimate with one before so I felt like…like maybe it wasn't real until it was. Doesn't mean I didn't find you down right adorable. Something about that ‘fuck off dont talk to me' attitude mixed with your adorably cute face and mannerisms made it hard to resist.”
”So that’s why you didn’t leave me alone. Despite me going to a different seat. Figures.” He bumped into Chase. ”Glad you didn’t leave me alone. I was in a bad place.”
Chase bumped Ben back, a stupid grin on his face. ”Im glad I didn't either. You uh, looked like you could've used a friend. I'm just glad I was able to be the one, and that that weird chick asked if we were dating.”
”Did she put the idea in your head? Even way back then?” Ben looked up, his cheeks a little rosy still.
Chase rubbed the back of his neck. ”Kinda? No? But also…yes? At first it was more for the bit you know? Just joking around trying to lighten the mood. When I saw you at the skatepark and realized I was maybe a little too happy to see you, I figured why not continue the bit. And then we started texting and I found myself looking forward to the moments you were awake, and well it snowballed from there.” Chase looked away a little embarrassed, shy.
Ben smiled, he suddenly understood why Chase liked to tease him just to get a rise out of him. Chase looked cute with the embarrassed way he looked away.
”Too happy, oh? What does that mean?” Ben’s tone was light, and teasing.
”It means that had I not been so nervous about having a cute guy watching me skate I wouldn't have eaten asphalt as much as I did. You dork. “
Ben laughed, ”You know, getting you to blush is tough, but you still get a cute little shy look.” Ben grinned. ”I could tell you have skill, everyone spills. That’s like 90% of skating.”
”Me? Shy? Nah.” Chase chuckled as he rolled his eyes at Ben. ”So uh, what made you wanna…you know? Kiss me.”
”You keep telling yourself that.” Ben grinned. ”Well, I wanted to know. I mean I knew I liked you, but I didn’t know how much, or what way. I figured if I liked kissing you then I’d know. Since I did,” Ben shrugged. ”Uh... react to kissing you. That meant I did.” God he had used a lot of ‘like’ he had been in California too long if it was seeping into his vocabulary like that.
”React? How exactly did you react Benny Boi?” Chase leaned in closer, a whisper in his ears as he spoke the next question. ”Or did your body react?” He pulled away, a shit eating grin on his face.
”You know exactly what I mean. I refuse to be embarrassed by this,” Ben said with a straight face, though his cheeks were more red than could be accounted for by the weather.
”Sire, are to say your sword had been stricken by the Medusa's glare? Entombed and hardened to stone by a mere kiss of your knights lips?”
”Are you sure you’re a knight and not an evil wizard in disguise?” Ben asked, with a raised eyebrow and a small smirk on his face.
In an instant a pit formed in the center of Chase's stomach. His mood darkened as shame overtook any semblance of embarrassment he may have had. ”I suppose that depends on who you ask, if you speak to Emrys he would say a dark wizard, he would think me a villain of darkness that cannot be brought to light, if you speak to the druids they may believe me a hero, the one meant to aid and restore. Perhaps I am both…”
Ben tilted his head catching the mood shift. He thought over what Chase said, he considered himself in this Mordred. He furrowed his brows. Was there an Emrys to his Mordred? Ben being Arthur? Was this Merlin the lost friend that Chase had mentioned? What had Ben said? He had definitely touched on a sore spot.
”No Merlin here. We are among the trees and the insects are the druids and they have no issue with you. I trust the insects.”
Chase's expression softened. His mood hadn't fully lifted, but Ben's words certainly cut through. ”They are kind druids, and you a fair and just King.” He fell silent, staring up at the cold sky, his mind miles away yet Ben was ever present within it. ”Sorry…”
Ben squeezed Chase’s hand, he watched as Chase’s expression softened. That was a relief. He had hit another of those pits.
”You can talk about it if you want. Today seems to be that kind of day. Or we can join the insects in their prayers.” Ben had already said it before he realized he had told Chase enough times that all the insects thought about was food and sex. His cheeks reddened.
Chase didn't want to talk about it. He wasn't sure if he'd ever want to with anyone, save maybe the one he hurt the most. He was about to say as much when Ben had offered another avenue for them to take. Chase didn't speak, he didn't answer with any words, he just pressed his finger against where he'd placed the condom in Ben's pocket and raised his eyebrow as if to ask if that was what he'd meant.
Ben considered it, for a moment considered back tracking, but realized he did want that. He nodded, agreeing, with a shy smile.
Chase’s eyes widened with surprise. He hadn't actually expected Ben to say yes, hadn't thought that was what he meant by prayer. Nerves shot through him as he began to wonder if he was even ready for this. He looked at Ben, and his knees fell weak. ”Oh…” It came out awkward, quiet, and nervous as hell as all he could do was smile before finally nodding yes himself.
”Where?” Ben asked softly. He did not want to do it on the trail, or really outside. Did they have a hotel again? Or were they sleeping in the Jeep? He might be willing to try in the Jeep under certain conditions.
”Behind a waterfall? Wait no, uh a clearing, or the – nevermind that ones not gonna work. Uh…” Chase quickly became flustered. Where would a good first location even be? They were in Yosemite, where could anyone hook up in Yosemite? And soon, because his geyser was ready to blow.
Ben looked around unsure where they could go. ”What if we found one of those half hollowed out trees off the path, and you cover us in shadow? We need the blanket though.”
Chase nodded silently. Had, had Ben been thinking about this all hike? A half hollowed out tree with shadows and a blanket. ”I can get the covers, bedroll, anything you want. Do uh, do the bugs know a good tree spot big enough for us?”
Ben smiled, ”Great idea.” Ben reached out his hand and few bugs flew to him. He was still and quiet for a moment. ”That way, about 30 meters.”
”Fuck if I know what a meter is but let's go.” Chase walked at a pace normally reserved for gay men holding iced coffees as he dragged Ben alongside him, searching for the spot Ben was talking about.
Ben took the lead quickly, getting nudges from the insect that had told him where to go. Then he spun around a tree. The open part of the trunk had been burned through years ago, the ground had long since recovered. It was deep enough that they’d be hidden unless someone came all the way around like they had, but surprisingly large. It was big enough that even standing at full height Ben couldn’t reach the top of the opening, and after the first step in couldn’t touch the walls on either side at the same time.
Chase was in love with the location. Not only did it provide them with the right cover and was spacious enough for…activities, but it was partially engulfed by shadows which made his powers easier to handle. ”This is sick.” Chase began to look around, his hand moving the shadows as the bedroll and sheets came into the space, as well as a bag for them to put their clothes in so it didn't dirty while they went at it. ”You sure?”
Ben thanked the bugs and shooed them away. He checked the area for insects too, pushing away the ones neither of them wanted near them while vulnerable. He shifted from foot to foot, thinking about what Chase said.
”Yeah. I am.” He nodded.
Chase grabbed the edge of a shadow like a curtain and began to draw it over the opening of the tree, encasing them in darkness.
Night
Chase lay there with Ben's head resting upon his chest. They didn't have a hotel for the night, but the tree's hollow they'd found would do just nicely for the night. He ran his fingers through Ben's hair, playing with the dark curls as they wrapped around his fingers and he smiled. ”How's my Bed Bug?”
Ben smiled at the nickname, ”I’m doing fantastic. You?” Ben was trailing his fingers up and down Chase’s chest slowly, just a light caress. He had been nervous and worried, but despite that he was glad they had done that.
Chase tilted his head back, staring at the wooden canopy above. ”Fuckin fantasic. It felt…is euphoric a word? Cuz it should be. Had I known prayer was more like this maybe I'd have gone to church more often.”
”It may only be like this for the insects. I’ve gone to Church, praying there is not like this. But when the Cathedral is like this, hard to not have great prayer.” Ben laughed at his own joke, his hand sweeping to encompass the the tree. ”Also, yeah euphoric is a word. It’s a good word. Definitely applies to this situation.”
Chase began to chuckled to himself, covering his face with his arm for a moment. ”Geeze we just had wood inside of wood.”
Ben laughed again, it was a soft, easy laugh. ”Well could be worse places to do that. Though maybe better ones if we had done that at the hotel.” Ben wrinkled his nose. But as he thought about that he realized today had been important. They needed to have the conversations they had today before it would have felt right. They each knew the other's worst parts, what scared them the most, what tore at them in the late hours of the night. Now they knew who the other was without the facades they carried.
”I think the neighbors would've called Front Desk with how much you whimpered and how loud you could get. Probably best we did it out here.” Chase grinned. Teasing Ben was a full time job of course.
Ben gasped and looked up at Chase, his eyes big, ”Are you saying you didn’t like it?” He couldn’t keep a straight face perfectly, his lip turning up on one side.
”Oh I loved it and I think you're more than aware of that. Honestly it was more of a turn on than I'd ever expected.” Chase kept his arm over his face, covering the embarrassment of what he'd just said out loud.
Ben’s little grin turned into a large smile. ”Hmm, my job has only started. Find all the things that turn Chase on.”
”Top of the list is that smile, followed by the way you get shy and blush when I tease you, oh and when you call me your knight, let's not forget the way your body shudders when I touch certain places. Really the list goes on.” Chase laughed.
”Is that so,” Ben paused for a moment. ”My knight.” He was smiling, ”I suppose one day soon, when I’ve figured them all out. I’ll have to do all of them, and see what happens.”
The moment Ben called him his knight Chase felt his heart skip a beat, something else pulsed as well. ”Maybe one day, and I'll have to return the favour. See just how many ways I can make you smile, and how many octaves you can hit in one go.”
Ben’s cheeks warmed up, he looked forward to that day. ”I am definitely keeping you a secret.” Ben snuggled closer. ”Hmm, we aren’t going to get caught and get trouble here right?” Ben considered asking some of the insects in the area to stand guard, but realized that once he was asleep Chase would be alone. He felt a pang of sadness. He wished he could be awake through the night, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to stay awake.
”Only if we get caught. But if I feel that might happen I'll just move us somewhere else. No worries, you just sleep tight and I'll keep us hidden ok?” Chase pressed a kiss against Ben's forehead.
Ben moved so he could kiss Chase’s lips. ”Thank you, my knight,” he said softly.
Jan. 6th, morning
That night was harder than the ones before for Chase. With Ben so snuggled in him, he didn't want to move. Halfway into the night his arm had fallen asleep. At a certain point he'd contemplated making a shadowy duplicate of himself to hold Ben up as he went for a walk but decided against it. Instead he spent the night memorizing every detail of Ben's face, the way he looked so peaceful as he bolted within their very own cathedral, and there had certainly been a lot of worshipping done that day.
The next morning finally broke, the sun's rays beaming through the opening within the tree and dancing across their faces while Ben still slept. Chase pressed a kiss against Ben's neck, then another, and another. ”Bed Bug, rise and shine “
Ben made a noise of protest. He was not ready to wake up, though when Chase woke him up it was always more pleasant than the alarm clock. ”Can’t we just stay here forever?”
”Well aren't you just a regular little cuddle bug.” Chase sighed. ”I think if we did your Old Man would get antsy after the 10th day and use his spy skills to find us and kill me.”
Ben groaned. ”You’re right. And one of his powers is not something that you ever want to be on the receiving end of.” Ben sat up and rubbed his eyes. ”What is the plan today?”
”Wait wait wait, he has powers too? I feel like that's cheating. You can't be a secret spy and have powers.” Chase followed suit, sitting up as he moved his arm around a little to help get feeling back into it from when Ben was laying on it. He flexed his hand slowly, open and close, to help his circulation.
Ben looked surprised. ”Yeah, he is Inhuman too. And his powers are why he works for S.H.I.E.L.D. He had powers before the M-pox thing but basically anyone of my kind alive during that time got exposed. He has two powers, but he was an infiltration expert before he even had his first. He has the ability to pick up literally any weapon and is essentially perfectly proficient at it instantly. His other one is touch based but he releases a paralytic to whoever he touches, he can choose not to, hence why when he shook your hand you weren't paralyzed and he wasn't wearing gloves. That's the one you do not want to be on the receiving end of.” Ben had slept with his clothes on, putting them back on after their... prayers... the night prior. It was too cold to sleep naked. He stood up stretching a bit.
”The man can wield any weapon imaginable and you're telling me I should be worried about a paralytic touch?” Chase thought about that handshake, how he didn't know. He thought about any interaction with the Old Man now, any shoulder claps or greetings, any instance where in a moment he could've been had. ”What the hell did I get myself into? I'm dating a cops kid holy shit. Oh if he ever finds out my ass is grass.”
”Well yeah, enough of a paralytic, you stop breathing. Great for field medical emergencies though.” Ben shrugged. He did laugh at Chase’s realization.
”You asked to use his private jet, which he apparently doesn't even have one.”
”S-S-stop breathing? You're just glazing over that huh? OK, wow. What the fuck.” Chase rubbed his face with one hand as he tried to get back on track. ”Definitely a secret.”
”And if he finds out? He is an agent for S.H.I.E.L.D. and was in the Special Boat Service with the Royal Navy before that.” Ben raised an eyebrow, ”Do you think he’ll be more upset about being lied to.”
”It's not lying. You simply forgot to mention it happened.” Chase stood up in full, stretching his arms and back a bit. ”It's fine, he won't find out. Oh! Maybe we will get assigned a room together at school!”
Ben gave a slight shrug. ”Like I said. Your choice. If he finds out on his own I don’t know what he’ll do, I doubt he’d actually hurt you. Mostly we’d just have a chaperone going forward.” Ben had a sudden image of the classic father figure threatening the boyfriend when he came to pick up the girl for prom and he started laughing.
”Right. Right. Chaperone isn't so bad, I'll just have to steal kisses when I can then.” There was a sly grin on Chase's face as he thought about coming in through Ben's windows at the dead of night. ”I could probably sneak in without him knowing too.”
Once Ben had stopped laughing, he wiped at his face. ”The shadow teleportation helps, he is an infiltration expert though. So give me a warning and I’ll have music playing or something. That’s not new. So am I telling him?”
”Wha? Benny Boi please, when did I ever say tell him? I'm saying if he finds out I can try and sneak us around a bit. Like maybe…coming through the shadows of your covers at night?” Chase knew this was a stupid idea, this kind of thing never worked out well for those sneaking around, but he did enjoy the thrill of it. ”Besides, we'll be at school most of the year anyways so it wont matter much you know? He can't stop us from going to another's dorm.”
”Hmm, I don’t know if taking me out of the house, when I’m supposed to be there, is a great plan. But we can always try. And yeah, you’re right. Once we’re in the dorms I don’t think it’ll be an issue.” Ben smiled. ”Alright, what is the plan for today?”
”Spend a little more time here, see if there's any more sights or bugs you want to look at, then food, head out for another long drive and make it to the next park near sun down probably. Had I known about the whole car thing I'd have planned a less intensive road trip. But that just means I'll have to get better at my doorways, so you won't need to worry about it anymore.”
”Sorry,” Ben did feel a little bad about the car thing. He hadn’t realized how big California was. He hadn’t realized how much car time would be required. But it did make him smile that Chase was willing to put in the work to improve his shadow teleportation for his sake. ”There are always bugs I want to see,” He said, focusing on that part.
Chase ruffled Ben's hair. ”Oi, don't be sorry. You can't help it and I wasn't aware. Nothing to do about it now, but now I know for the future. So let's turn that frown upside down and find some merry bugs.”
”There are always cool insects to find.” Ben looked around, ”Want help gathering everything?”
”I've got it.” Chase gripped at a few shadows with his hands, peeling them off the surface as he threw it over their belongings like a blanket. At first it settled over them, a silhouette of what was beneath it, before it sank down and blended into the ground. ”Gathered up my lord.”
”Thank you, my knight.” Ben considered bowing, but knew that wasn’t correct, so he made up a salute. His right hand, in a fist, touched his left shoulder. ”Shall we go speak with the druids?”
Chase bowed down for Ben, extending a hand out to signal the way out of their hollow. ”After you my lord.”
Ben laughed, and headed out of the hollow tree. They’d have to backtrack a bit to get back to the trail. He sent a couple bugs from around to check if anyone was around so they’d not accidentally get caught. When the coast was clear, Ben walked back onto the path.
”You mentioned waterfalls yesterday, before we got distracted.”
Chase had considered making a joke, teasing Ben about wanting to get wet again so soon, but decided better not to. ”Yeah this way.” He laced his hand in Ben's, leading the way towards the falls. ”So uh, I kinda had a question about yesterday. But I uh, I dont wanna seem insensitive I just don't really know much about this kinda stuff…can I ask or?”
”You can ask me anything,” Ben told Chase.
”So you're like…an alien? Right?”
”Genetically speaking. But my family has been here long enough that it was forgotten. My grandparents didn’t know. But we think their parents might have. Their parents were friends,” Ben explained. ”Why?”
”Oh, so you don't have like a home planet you've been to or anything. I dunno, was more curious than anything. It's kinda cool…’He came from outer space’” Chase held his hands out with only the forefinger and thumbs out as he spread his hands apart as if to reveal the title, his voice dropping to a more deep announcer voice. ”I knew my boyfriend was out of this world but didn't think it was literal.”
Ben smiled at Chase’s joke. ”Well, I don’t know a lot about the history prior to 2021, but what I do know I learned from Matt. There are many on the moon. But Matt’s interaction with them... was not a great one. He went there to try to help and they were kind of assholes. They wouldn’t help, they said the deaths of M-Pox were worth it. So there is a colony on the moon, but I’ve never been, and probably never will.”
”The moon? Really? No offense but thats kinda lame. I figured they had their own planets with weird plants and animals.” Chase shrugged. ”Also, they sound like dicks. Probably because they're on the moon.”
”No offense taken. As far as I’m concerned I am not associated with those people,” Ben shrugged. ”They are dicks. They killed an untold amount of people.” His knowledge was stories from his Uncle, and his Uncle didn’t know everything.
Chase froze for a moment before continuing to walk ahead. He hadn't meant him, he hadn't meant him. He kept telling himself that over and over in his mind. Ben didn't view him as a dick for the people whose lives he took, he'd said as much beforehand. Yet the comment still stung a bit. ”Funny, neither of you two seem alien. I expected at least some antennae. Actually you'd look super cute with a pair of them.”
”Could be that we are designed to blend in? Or maybe we always looked human?” Ben shrugged, his cheeks reddining a little with the comment about looking cute with antennae.
”Or humans look like you guys. Who knows. I sure as fuck don't. I don't even know where my powers come from aside from some bottles and shit. Don't even know what I am, but wait…are all Inhumans bug themed? I feel like paralytic touch is very on brand for bugs.”
Ben shifted his shoulder opposite of Chase when he mentioned where his powers came from. What had happened to Chase upset him. He squeezed Chase’s hand a little, continuing to walk. ”No, my mom’s powers weren’t anything bug themed. She had telekinesis.”
”Bug coded. I feel that's a very Butterfly-esque type power along with other mental things like putting people to sleep. Which…would make you the King of Inhumans.”
”Tell that to Marlena.” Ben snorted. ”I am not the King of the Inhumans. I don’t even want to take the title of King of the Insects.”
”Oh? Why?”
”They are their own creatures. I cannot understand them in the way that they’d need. And insects are so diverse. One king to rule them all is not reasonable.”
”A benevolent king indeed.” Chase smiled as he looked at Ben out of the corner of his eye.
Ben smiled. The pair of them walked for a while longer, eventually coming to a path that was carved into the side of the mountain. It had a rail, and steps. They were at the base of a large waterfall. It flowed, though not as intensely as it would after the snow melt got really going. Ben whistled quietly.
”Wow, that’s a cool looking waterfall.”
Chase turned his head to the side. ”It's usually more impressive, guess the snow kinda bummed out the water.” He held Ben close, wrapping his arms around him as they stood to watch the scenery.
Ben leaned into Chase. ”It is winter, and the snow isn’t melted.” He shrugged a little. Then carefully pulled out his phone and snapped a photo of the waterfall. He would send it to Matt later, when it was later and them being at the park at this hour wouldn’t be suspicious.
Chase snapped a photo of the two of them, then realized that the waterfall wasn't in them because they were in front of him. He still liked the photo, but temporarily turned the pair to snap one with the waterfalls in it. Sending both pics to Ben.
Ben smiled, looking at the pictures. He was not sending the one of the two of them to his Uncle. Matt would absolutely catch that the two of them were holding onto each other. It was a good picture though. He was tempted to make it his phone's background, but for the same reason decided against it. He frowned. Ben wasn’t sure he wanted to hide this. It was going to stress him out.
”Do you want to draw it?”
Chase kissed the top of Ben's head. ”Abso-fucking-lutely.” Chase let go of Ben and pulled out his sketchpad as he began getting to work. ”What'll you do?”
”Wander around a bit and check out the insect life. I won’t go far, so don’t worry.” Ben smiled. He was so happy. This was wonderful.
”Fine fine. Go skitter about my sweet bug. I'll be here. If you need anything, any help at all, scream and send bugs. Ok?”
Ben kissed Chase’s cheek. ”I will. You’ll know if I need help.” Ben doubted he would, but he didn’t want Chase to worry.
Chase pulled out his phone, opening up the image of them two together in front of the falls as he flipped to a new page and began sketching that out instead. He wanted to make two of them, one for Ben as a gift once all the watercolors were fully dried. A keepsake for the trip.
Ben started walking around, he traced an area near where Chase sat, that was a reasonable distance away without leaving eye sight. He did go behind some trees but not for long. He rambled about checking out little nooks and crannies and generally exploring the area.
The whole time Chase couldn't help but glance from the side of his eyes at wherever Ben went. Sure the waterfalls were beautiful, but the true beauty was his boyfriend enjoying nature. He couldn't help but shake his head as he grabbed a scrap piece of paper and wrote down “You're too cute. ❤️” before folding it up and flicking it through the shadows and in front of Ben.
Ben noticed the paper coming from the shadows, he grinned and picked it up. Upon opening it, he blushed. Damn Chase could make him blush so easily. He yelled, ”And you’re hot!”
Chase waved the comment away, his shyness coming back in full force as Ben yelled that for all to hear. He went back to his sketch, still stealing glances from time to time.
Ben grinned, knowing he had gotten Chase back. He went back to his wandering around the place. Carefully checking under logs and other places that a bug might be hanging out. He would pause and chat with them when found, before going back to wandering around.
A few hikers came through, looked at the waterfall, took their photos and headed up to the higher places of the Yosemite. There was a lot to see there. But Ben was happy where they were. It was cold and the hikes were not easy. He had done hikes, but England was a lot flatter than this place. Not flat, just flatter. And he had never gone Spelunking, the abject horror at the idea was a good enough reason for him.
Chase had finished his sketch, pulling out his watercolors as he began to paint the under layer of his design. He wanted it to be perfect, he wanted Ben to like it. But it may be difficult to display it anywhere beyond school if they were to stay hidden. He stopped for a moment thinking about it. It felt so…limiting. The thrill of sneaking out and in was great, but he wanted so much more, Ben deserved so much more.
Ben had found a perfect spot for insects. He had sat down, getting his pants muddier than he’d like, but was currently chatting away with the handful of insects he had found there. They had, before he reached out, started to scramble away. He didn’t have any issues once he connected to them though. Insects were chill with him. He was thankful for that. He looked up over at Chase, he seemed lost in what he was doing. Ben smiled, and took a quick photo of him, bent over his art. That was Chase, and damn did he like him.
As Chase waited for the water colors to dry before doing the next layer, he decided to get them a hotel for the night over by the Lassen Volcanic area. As much as he didn't mind staying outdoors with Ben and sleeping under the stars, he noticed Ben getting his clothes a little dirty once again. That and, Chase wouldn't mind another hot shower, last night's activities while fun, did make him sweat and he desperately felt the need to bathe. He couldn't afford anything incredibly fancy, but something nice would do for the two of them.
Ben sent Danni a text. It was the picture of the waterfall. He also did his check in with Matt. It was late enough now that he had seen some regular people coming through that he felt confident that Matt wouldn’t think it weird that they were there that early. He sent the photo of just the waterfall, wishing he could send the one Chase had taken of them standing in front of it.
The photos of them getting their passport stamped were silly and safe to send. This one was too intimate. He made the waterfall picture his background. It wouldn’t be the one of both of them in front of it, but he could imagine them standing there holding each other. He could look at it and know what it represented.
Ben couldn’t ask the insects for advice. They were very bad at understanding the complexities of human life. That was okay, they didn’t need to understand. Lucky them.
Chase was about to send a message to Ben, when he noticed he was already on his phone. He was more than likely texting his Uncle, but it didn't mean Chase couldn't tease his boyfriend a little. So he shot off a text to him instead, that way Ben would see it appear on his screen.
You texting your Old Man or is that your other boyfriend?
Ben opened the message from Chase, he sighed, and responded.
Matt and my friend Danni.
Chase smiled at his phone before looking towards Ben and smirking. He took a quick video of himself winking and converted it into a GIF before sending it off along with another message.
”Uh huh. I was also your friend. He's cute at least. Definitely a good pick.
Attachement: photo of Ben sticking out his tongue.
Are you suggesting something??
”Nay my lord. Simply that his lordship seems to have many a knight and could begin to start a round table.
Ben stood up and walked over to Chase, ”Tired of texting someone sitting five meters away. What does that mean?”
Chase had ready began his next layer of paints when Ben's shadow covered him and he looked up. ”What do you mean? I'm lost at where you're lost at.”
”I mean, your text about starting a round table. I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”
”Calm down, I was just joking around. You know I don't mind you texting your friends. But with how often you do it you'd think you had two boyfriends. But really, I don't mind, I'm just teasing you.”
”I want you to know, I wouldn’t cheat on you or anything. Danni is just a good friend. I told you, I had plans with him that I canceled to do this trip. But I’m keeping him apprised of where we’re going and the bugs I’ve seen.” Ben paused, licked his lips and then said. ”I haven’t told him we are... dating.”
”I wasn't suggesting you were cheating on me.” Chase raised his eyebrow. ”I meant more like a poly type deal. But glad to know you wouldn't cheat. Though…why uh…why haven't you told him? I mean you could I guess but, I mean. You know what? Nevermind.” His attention back on painting in a few more details.
Ben sat down, pulled his knees in and wrapped his arms around them. He sat there quiet for a bit. He hadn’t told Danni about him and Chase yet. He wasn’t sure why. Part of him felt it was because he was afraid of how Danni would react. He considered that. What was he worried about? Danni was his friend. He wanted him to make friends. What would be the reaction that Danni would have that Ben was afraid of? Anger? If Danni was angry what did that mean? Ben chewed his lip, looking at Chase as he painted.
”I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He has been left by friends for their partners before. I don’t want to do that to him.”
Chase paused in his painting, lifting his brush so the color didn't pool in one section. He placed the brush against his small tray and looked towards Ben. ”That's fair. But if you feel this might be an issue we can always hang out together. As long as I'm with you I'm happy, you don't have to pick between the two and I'd hate for your friend to hate me because I steal you away. But…wont he be angry when he finds out we are dating? He'll think you lied to him about the whole trip, which you didn't, but he may not see it that way. Maybe…tell him that I just asked you out today, at the waterfalls. So that way you preserve his feelings and allow for him to know going forward. Also tell him he's more than welcome on the next trip. I don't mind sharing, but you're still my cuddle bug.”
”We’ll still find alone time?” Ben asked, softly.
Chase placed his book on the ground as he scooted closer to Ben and pulled him into his arms. ”Of course we'll still find some alone time. Not even special agent Old Man could stop that from happening. But that doesn't mean that you, or us, can't spend some of that time with your friends.”
Ben nodded, ”Alright. I’ll tell him. Thank you.” Ben leaned forward and kissed Chase. ”Go back to your art.”
Chase pulled him back in and peppered him with kisses. ”Go back to your other boyfriend and bugs.” He smirked before sticking his tongue out and resuming his paints.
Ben huffed, but he was smiling as he stood back up and went back to his wandering. He pulled out his phone and started texting Danni again.
Chase had continued to work on his painting for Ben, stealing whatever glances he could to see his boyfriend from time to time as he wandered about or sat with bugs. Every time he did it made him smile before he rolled his eyes at himself and went back to work. His tongue sticking out in extreme focus anytime he began to go near a delicate section he didn't want to mess up. After some time he put the water colors away, pulling out a few micro pens to add a bit more highlights or details he otherwise couldn't get with a brush and water.
Ben spent the time examining plants and bugs and things. He was happy doing this. He was also texting Danni. Going back and forth about things, revealing that Chase had asked him out. He was vague about it, not actually lying. It felt good to tell him the truth. He didn’t really understand why Danni was calling Chase ‘Sauna boi’ but if Chase owed Danni a sauna trip, he’d make sure it’d happen.
Once the finishing touches had been placed, Chase carefully pulled the page out of his book. He wrapped shadows over it as they slithered towards Ben and the image appeared before him. Chase holding up some heart hands towards Ben.
When the shadows moved, Ben put away his phone. He looked at the painting and then over at Chase. He had a huge smile on his face. Ben gently took the painting and held up the k-pop heart. Rejoining Chase he hugged him and kissed his cheek.
”This is awesome thank you. Also you owe Danni a sauna apparently. You know him?”
Chase looked away shyly. ”Yeah yeah, we danced at the stupid party. I told him that we could figure out if I like saunas next time we met again. He never gave me his number soooo it was more of a see you at school kinda deal.” He shrugged. ”Didn't even know his name or realize who he was until you showed me that pic.”
”He didn't realize who you were till I sent him the pic of us.” Ben laughed it was a bit ironic.
”Oh, uh…what um. What Pic?”
”The one we just took here.” Ben said, and little worry coming into his voice. Would Chase be upset about that?
”I…don't know what I expected. That makes the most sense, and we don't exactly have many together.” Chase immediately thought that they'd need to correct that. He'd want to need to swim through photos of them as he searched for something in his phone's gallery.
”I think any others are of us with the stamp.” Ben relaxed a little. Chase wasn't upset.
”We should take more together. Actually, one sec.” Chase stood up and pulled Ben into a passionate kiss, quickly snapping a photo of the two of them kissing before pulling away to look at it. ”Perfect.” He set the image as his phone's background.
Ben's heart rate spiked during the kiss. He took a couple deep breaths when Chase pulled away.
”Don't let my uncle see your phone screen,” Ben said when he saw what Chase did. He held up his phone showing the photo of the waterfall without them.
”I keep my phone locked. See?” Chase held up the lock screen, showing an image of him mid-air doing a skateboarding trick as he was silhouetted by the sun directly behind him as it set.
Ben nodded. ”Okay,” he smiled brightly. ”So, what's next?
”A roughly six hour long ride to the next park. I…may have booked us a hotel for the night too. I desperately want a shower after last night. I can still feel the sweat on me.” Chase made a disgusted face at the idea of sweat still clinging to him.
Ben grimaced. Six hours. “If it weren't with you I'd actually go insane.” He did not seem bothered about not having showered.
”Give it time. I might drive you crazy yet. So you ready to head out?”
Sequoia National Park hosts towering trees hundreds of years old. The pleasant paths meandering through an old growth forest, mixed with some newer growth, offered an enjoyable early afternoon with the clouds above drifting lazily in the chilled breeze. Insects were softer, quiet here as an almost reverent air hung in the park. Birds flitted and creatures scurried across the paths and several other groups chatted excitedly within themselves.
Chase had already gone through the Visitors Center with Ben, getting their date marked stamp and having, once again, placed one onto Ben's cheek. This would clearly become a repeating pattern for the pair as the trip moved on. The main difference now being, that Chase would add a kiss to the stamp once it fully dried.
Ben was excited about this park. As awesome as Death Valley had been, it was quite comparatively. They had been lucky that recent weather had woken Death Valley's wildlife. Even for those who couldn't hear exactly what the insects said, the woods were not quiet. Though the cold of winter, and actual snow, made it quieter than one would expect. There would be no mosquitoes here.
Once they had finished the obligatory text to Matt; Ben stood under the cold canopy and allowed himself to close his eyes and listen. He nodded to himself. This was a beautiful place. It felt like a cathedral. Ben shivered and tightened his coat.
”It snows back home, but it doesn't always stick like this. A lot of the insects here are hibernating. They are built for it, some are awake and doing what insects do. But they aren't as vocal as the Death Valley insects.”
”Darn, no bugs tours? How ever will we occupy our time?” Chase wrapped his arms around Ben from behind, as he'd done so many times before now. Trying to help keep him warm within the snow of the forest. He wanted to joke about another way they could keep themselves warm, but didn't need Ben freaking out on him again. No matter how adorable he found it. ”There were some moths and butterflies I wouldn't've minded seeing. A couple beetles too but if they're sleeping…” Chase sighed, the cold air forming a cloud of mist before him where his breath catched.
”I didn't say there were no insects. Just that many are not in the stage of life that means awake and eating or other things.” Ben clear his throat. He hoped tonight included a warm hotel room. As cold as it had been in Death Valley, Sequoia was colder.
”No moths or butterflies this time of year. Way too cold for them and their life cycle usually puts them in a different stage or long migrated, like Monarch butterflies do. Though I don't think Monarch butterflies come through here. I believe they are more coastal. Anyway, there are definitely some beetles, bees, wasps and ants around. We can find some of those.”
”No ants. The others are fine but ants…” Chase shuddered, a mixture of the cold and idea of ants sending shivers up his spine. ”They give me the heeby jeebies. Always feel like I can feel them crawling up on me when I see one and I freak out.” He swiveled his head, taking in the scenery as he realized they'd sooner die of hyperthermia than sleep out here tonight. Fuck. He needed to come up with a new plan.
His phone buzzed within his pants pocket, vibrating against Ben's lower back. Chase rolled his eyes as he reached for his phone to see who was texting him. It was Morgan. It simply said to check the Jeep's sun visor on the driver side after 6pm. OK sure. He shoved his phone back into his pocket and wrapped the arm around Ben again. ”I had considered a hike up the mountain but.. I didn't think about how cold it may be. “
”No ants.” Ben nodded. That was fair. The fact that ants were even insects was a bit surprising to some people. The wing part of the description made it a little wonky. He hadn’t any issues though. Not like with spiders. He shivered. Ben raised his head and looked up when Chase checked his phone. He didn’t press though. Especially since Chase hadn’t pressed him any further about texting Danni, and Danni had gotten a belly button piercing today so there had been quite a bit of texting about that during the car ride.
”It is early January. I bet the hikes are great during the summer. I’m sure there is something relatively dry for us to do while bug hunting.” Ben shrugged. He didn’t care. The museum was an option. Or maybe a short hike. There were families out and about, there had to be options even today.
”Oh my– I'm so dumb, hello O'Brian, part of the whole point.” Chase pulled out a small plastic container with a lid that had a magnifying glass impeded into it. ”Meant to give you this day 1. It's for bug catching! Though, technically we aren't supposed to take anything with us back, not even rocks or anything. Part of the whole leave no trace thing. But I thought maybe…I dunno…you could keep a cool bug or something back home…” He placed the small container into Ben's hands before pulling out the hiking trails maps that were offered to them.
Ben smiled, there was no net, Ben didn’t need a net. He had a small collection of insects at home. They were perfectly cared for. Ben was the only person, that he knew of, an insect could inform of its exact needs. He liked keeping them, the ones that wanted to stay. If they found something particularly invasive that the Park wasn’t aware of he could inform them, gather them up, help mitigate a possible disaster.
That thought made him laugh a little to himself. He had told Danni if he wasn’t going to be a super hero he’d start a business. This sort of business would be ideal. He would, in a way, be a hero. Get government contracts to clear areas of dangerous insects. He could work at a port and would know if an invasive species was attached to a plant that was being imported. There were so many options. He hadn’t ever thought about any of them.
”If they want to come with me. The downside of taking them out of their habitats is they wouldn’t be able to mate anymore. But maybe one who won’t mate for whatever reason can come with me. Thank you.”
Ben looked over at the hiking trail map that Chase had pulled up. There were a fair amount of options. This was a large park. With the snow though, that automatically made some of them non-viable.
”For such a shy guy you sure talk about mating a lot. If I didn't know any better already, I'd say you were trying to drop hints. Sorta like a…mating call.” Chase laughed as he rested atop Ben's head, scanning the map before pointing to two locations. ”What about at least doing the Old Growth in Sherman Trail and a visit to Beetle rock. Wanted to see some salamanders there but im guessing they're not exactly out basking in the sun during this time. There's bound to be at least one beetle there right? I mean c'mon it's in the name.”
”Listen, it is what bugs do.” Ben shrugged, though his face was still red hot. ”That sounds like a good hike.” It looked easy enough too. Ben was in shape well enough due to the activities he liked to do, he hadn’t done a lot of hiking, so anything more than an ‘easy’ hike would be hard for him.
”It's also what teens do, and people.” Chase remarked as he closed the map and tucked it in his back pocket, ruffling Ben's hair as he finally let go of him so they could begin their hike down.
”Yeah but insects are constantly screaming about it. Well not all of them. But most.” Ben ran his fingers through his hair, trying to fix it. He let Chase lead the way.
Chase instinctively rubbed his hand against his pants, taking off some of the oils that had been picked up from Ben's hair. ”Tomorrow morning. You, Me, shower. It's needed.” He stopped in his walk for a moment as he turned on his heels to face Ben, kissing him on the lips before speaking again. ”No arguing. It's happening ok? Now lets get a move on, we're burning daylight and soon it'll be colder than a witches tit.”
Ben had been about to open his mouth and complain. He still didn’t think he needed the shower. He was very nervous about taking the shower with Chase. He had gotten more comfortable but still... But he had been stopped in all of his complaints with the kiss. Ben sighed and accepted his fate.
”Fine,” he said a little sullenly, and let himself continued to be led.
Fuck. OK. Chase hadn't actually expected him to go without a fight. Nervousness bubbled inside him as he continued to lead the forward, thinking about how exactly that shower might go down. A few times he glanced over at Ben, each time his mind drifting to different possibilities that made Chase have to look away. They'd finally made it down to their first destination. The trees towered before him, and Chase now understood why they called it The Giants Forrest. This could've been stripped right out of Norse Mythology. ”We're here…Hey uh, can I ask you a stupid question?”
”There is no such thing as stupid questions.” Ben automatically parroted. It was obvious he was quoting adults in his life. He grinned though. ”Yeah go ahead.”
”Why'd you sound so upset at the idea of us showering? Is it me? Or just you're shy? Or…I promise I won't try anything funny. I just really think we could use one.”
Ben chewed on his lip thinking. He, in general, didn’t really care for showers, he hated baths. He didn’t even like swimming, not that he had had a lot of chances to do it over the years. Yes, he was nervous about showering with Chase. He was nervous about being naked. He was nervous about seeing Chase naked, and Chase seeing him naked. He was shy. Before coming to America he had never kissed someone, let alone any of the other things he and Chase had done in the last day and a half.
“It isn’t you. Well not completely you. Yeah, I am nervous. I’ve never done anything like that. But it isn’t you that is the issue. Trust me there.” How to explain his issue with showers? Ben didn’t even know why he didn’t like them. It had been fine growing up. His parents had bathed him and taught him hygiene. But sometime ago he had just stopped caring, or wanting to shower. He didn’t see why it mattered. He felt it was almost a waste of time. He’d wash his hands and if he were particularly muddy he’d clean up. This trip was more on the dirty side than normal. He had sweat and gotten dusty and dirty so a shower was in order, if he was completely honest with himself. Ben gave up. He shrugged.
”Baths are the worst thing, like worse than being stuck in a car for hours. Showers... they are fine. The faster the better.” Ben didn’t know that he had claustrophobia. He didn’t realize that he hated the small space of the car because he felt trapped. He didn’t know that it was all connected. He had had issues with small spaces as long as he could remember but he didn’t know what that meant. He didn’t know that it had all been compounded by his time undergoing terrigensis.
”Its just like showering at the gym. Nothing more than that unless you want it to be ok?” Chase's voice was soft, caring, as if he was trying to reassure Ben that he wouldn't do anything he didn't like. In reality he may have been trying to reassure himself of that. Ben had reminded him so much of his lost friend, he was afraid he would push him away too, hurt him like he did his other. ”A fast…shower? Never heard of it. I love to bask under the warm water. It feels so nice against my muscles, especially if I've been skating all day or working out. But I'm with you on baths. They suck.”
Chase had neglected to mention how he cannot face the shower head with his head under the water, how if even a bit of water makes him stop breathing while he is under he is likely to have a panic attack because it brought forth the memories of his tank. He didn't need to say it because it wouldn't happen, he'd ensure he was always facing the right way, and thankfully Ben seemed to hate baths as much as he did, so he didn't need to worry about feeling submerged.
”I know. I trust you,” Ben said in a soft voice. ”If I’ve been working out or sweating from skating or parkour I just rinse off.” Or, if he could get away with it, wait long enough until he didn’t feel sticky, that was basically the same.
”The whore bath was fine.” Ben having discovered a way to clean up without taking a shower meant he would probably do that more often than not going forward.
Chase stopped. Full stop. He faced Ben with a surprised look on his face. So far every time he'd met him Ben had seemed showered up, presentable. Had he just been lucky with his timings? Was it the Old Man's doing? ”Ben, and I say this with as much kindness as I have, that's absolutely disgusting. Is that why you wore about ten pounds of Axe spray when I first met you? Which, by the way, I'm getting you into decent perfume oils and good deodorant.” A question danced across his mind, and he was too afraid to know the answer but he had to know. Giving Ben a flat look. ”When's the last time you took a shower?”
Ben felt weird. He felt embarrassment and anger rise like bile. He wanted to snap at Chase and defend his choices. It was only that Chase had said it was with ‘kindness.’ He didn’t want him to do that. Axe was fine. It was the thing his friends all used. If he stopped he felt like he would lose a little piece of that. He decided to ignore all of that and just answer the last question.
“The first.” He shrugged. He had been up late for the New Year, had crashed out and not gotten up until after noon. Matt had told him to take a shower and they had gone out after. He had skated, and went to bed early. The next day Matt had finally agreed that Ben and Chase could go on this trip. He had not showered that day, or the night prior after skating.
Chase sighed, a mixture of relief and defeat. ”Would you be fine if we showered tonight and tomorrow morning? Doesn't have to be a full shower. No hair or whatever tonight, just washing our bodies before bed. Hair is a definite must tomorrow though.” He noticed that Ben didn't comment on the idea of perfume. Chase had his own tastes in it, and he wondered if Ben might like the scents he liked. He'd brought what he considered ‘travel sizes’ with him of a couple perfume oils. They were sample bottles save for one that was a roll on oil.
Chase closed the distance between him and Ben, having wanted to hold him, to kiss him, even if he hadn't showered in two days. But when he got near he hesitated. He couldn't read the expression on Ben's face, couldn't tell if he was upset or fine or how badly he just fucked things up. His hands had spread slightly for a hug, but it was clear on Chase's face that there was a bit of sadness behind his eyes in having potentially ruined another friendship.
A sort of relief went through Ben when Chase opened his arms. Matt had been so insistent on the showering. He had noticed quickly that Ben needed the reminder. Needed to be told to do it.
He nodded, agreeing to the shower both tonight and tomorrow morning. As much as he would prefer it was just one of those. He’d do it. He’d hate it, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad with Chase there.
“Yeah, sure.” Ben stepped forward into Chase’s open arms. Being shorter usually annoyed him, but right now, it felt nice.
Chase pulled him in tight, afraid that if he let him go Ben would run away. There was a hitch in his breath as he choked back a tear, a single one escaping down his cheek. He cleared his throat, wiping the tear away before pulling back. ”Cool trail huh?” His eyes instantly averting Bens.
Ben took a careful step. One that wasn’t too far, but gave him a little space. He took a deep breath. He looked around Sherman trail, the path continuing on. There was snow on the edges of the path. Not in large piles, but sticking here and there. He smiled. It was a cool trail.
Ben held out his hand and after a moment a beetle landed on it. It was just a lady bug, but those were common year round insects. Ben held it up so that Chase could see it.
”It is a cool trail.”
Chase snapped a photo of Ladybug. Sure they were common things, but it was the first bug of the day. ”I hear they're good luck. Especially if they land on you.” He took another photo, this time just of Ben and he smiled. His phone may very well be out of memory after this trip with thousands of photos of a silly crush. He knew Ben liked him back but.. would he want to date him? Gods, did he want to date him? Chase wasn't sure, he'd never dated a guy before and the idea of it…he looked at Ben, studied his expressions as he focused on the ladybug and Chase bit the inside of his cheek. Did they need to label it? Should they?
“Huh, I’ve never heard that before.” Ben tilted his hand to look at the lady bug closer. ”Are you good luck?” The bug fluttered its wings.
”I don’t think it has even heard of that before.” He cracked a grin.
”Really? It's across many cultures mythologies or well…lore. They say that if a ladybug lands on you it brings you good luck, new love, or some even think it can grant you a wish. Killing one however is said to place a curse upon you. Surprised you haven't heard of it.” Chase made his way over towards Ben and the ladybug as he spoke, his tone very matter-of-fact. He leaned down to look at the ladybug closer. ”I guess you don't hear your own mythos too much huh?”
“I never really paid much attention to the myths. More the science of bugs.” He shrugged, and wondered if Chase knew it because of the same friend who knew the stars. He wanted to ask. Wanted to know what things Chase had learned for other people. He also wanted to feel special. Wanted to think that Chase put in as much effort because it was for him.
”I would never kill one. Rude of people to do that. Ladybugs are super important for the environment.”
Chase's eyes flitted up, as his face stayed looking towards the ladybug on Ben's finger. ”You're staring.” His eyes went back to fixated on the species before him, watching how it moved, how it interacted. ”If you have something to say spit it out. I would've thought you'd know that by now. Especially given we'll be together for ten whole days.”
”Where did you learn about that myth?” Ben asked after a moment of silence. His own eyes going to the bug on his hand.
”Heard it somewhere. When I was a kid. There was this sort of…alleyway, full of shops and stalls, I think it was a Farmer's Market. Anyways, I was looking at some of the wares they were selling and a ladybug landed on my head, right on my nose to be more pedantic. The old lady running the stall told me it was good luck, I asked her about that and afterwards I started looking into it. I love legends, lore, myths. The Call to Adventure, the Hero of a Thousand Faces. It's always fascinated me, Arthurian legends more so than anything but…I grew to like em all.”
Ben imagined something more fanciful than a Farmer’s Market. Imagined it dingy, with birds in cages and carts with food being cooked on grills. It was basically a movie scene in his head. Because of that he wasn’t sure if he fully believed it, but as far as he knew Chase hadn’t lied to him yet. Chase also had proven before that he was very much into stories like the Arthurian legends so that wasn’t surprising. He accepted it as true.
”Huh, that sounds cool. There are ton of Farmer’s markets in London, I’ve been to a couple. But no where near as cool as learning about lady bugs there. There is one guy who sells honey all the bees love him. He was cool. I chatted with him a lot.” The beekeeper was like that with bees and no super power. Ben had been jealous of him at the time. Now he knew he could do the same if he wanted, but it felt like cheating in a way.
”Not every city has a mystical farmers market full of wizened old ladies.” Chase shrugged before finally standing back up straight and stretching out his back. He walked over, past Ben, and scooped up a large pile of snow off the trail, balling it up before plopping it atop of Ben's head. ”Woulda thrown it but I'd hate to harm the lovely lady on your finger.”
Ben cursed. He hissed as the cold snow soaked into his hair. Quickly he bent forward and with the hand that was not holding the ladybug he dusted his hair.
”That was cold.” The double meaning not being totally missed on Ben. He gave the ladybug a little psychic push, sending it away. Then lunged for snow to throw back at Chase.
”Maybe I just wanted an excuse to be able to warm you up.” Chase similarly went to grab some more snow. ”Or maybe I like the way the cold makes your cheeks and nose rosie.”
Ben stuck out his tongue as he picked up the snow. His fingers were already a little numb from the air temperature, touching the ice felt almost hot. He picked it up and as best as he could formed it into a ball. It made a rough shape, and he tossed it at Chase. The snow shattered and fell apart as it hit him.
The snow fight that followed between the two boys was silly, and both got scrapped up and dirty. There was no avoiding it. The snow had sticks and pine needles and in one case an actual pine cone.
But they were laughing. It was fun. And Chase grabbed Ben’s hands to keep him from gathering another snow ball. Ben tried to pull away, but Chase held fast and the two tumbled to the ground right into a frigid pile of snow.
Chase couldn't help himself from giggling. He hadn't had fun like this in years. His hands were still wrapped around Ben's as he lay on his side in the snow, staring at him with a dopey lovestruck smile. He removed one hand, putting it around Ben's waist before pulling him closer. The sound of snow crunched between him as he did so, he leaned in, the tip of his nose numb, as he was very aware of the heat of his own breath. Chase took short, shallow breaths as he smiled towards him before leaning in and giving him a passionate kiss.
Ben returned the kiss. He was cold as hell, but he didn’t care. He liked kissing Chase and he was having fun. He was soaked, and dirty, and probably ruined his shirt at the least. But still he didn’t care. He wanted to kiss Chase and look at bugs, and this was the best winter break of his life. He was so lucky he got to do this. Ben wrapped an arm around Chase and pulled him in closer, he pressed up against him, he shivered as the soaked clothing pressed against his skin. He drew warmth from Chase, though neither had a lot to share at the moment.
Chase pressed his forehead against Ben's, panting both from the activities as well as the cold and his rapidly beating heart. The grin not once fading away. His voice was low, raspy, as he simply looked towards the closing space between them. ”How did I get so lucky? Huh?”
“I could ask the same question,” Ben said back, leaning into Chase. “I didn’t expect any of this.”
”Neither did I.” Chase pressed a kiss against Ben's forehead. ”If we stay down here we may develop hypothermia, or worse, a cold.”
“It is very cold. I am wet. I think I might lose a finger or two.” Ben held up his hand, his fingers were thinned out and bright red.
”Beetle rock tomorrow then. For now let's get you in the car and warmed up ok?” Chase grabbed Ben's hand and placed a kiss on it, partially hoping the warmth from his lips would help a little bit.
Ben nodded, shivering. The kiss did help. It warmed him from the inside more than his fingertips though. ”Yeah, I could stand to dry off. We have time for Beetle rock tomorrow?” Ben was not sure how long it would take them to get to all of the planned locations. He hoped that spending two days here wouldn’t mess them up. It was already late in the day since it had taken them all day to get here in the first place.
”For you? Absolutely Bug Boi, we have time. Now –” Chase sunk them back into the shadows and brought them inside the Jeep. ” –Let's get this heat on.” He checked the time, saw it was past the time marker Morgan had given him. Pulling down on the visor, two hotel key cards fell out with the room number written atop the paper sleeve they were in. His phone then buzzed with a text message that said ‘Enjoy.’ Chase grinned as he looked up the directions to the hotel that was written on the cards and began the drive there.
The hotel they arrived at was nice. Chase didn't know what kind of connections Morgan or PJ had pulled for this, and he didn't care either. ”Ready for a room for the night?”
Ben, once they had gotten in the car and the heater had started, had shoved his fingers basically into the vents. He was cold. He had not dressed for snow. His jacket was warm enough for L.A. winters. It was not ideal for snow.
He had raised an eyebrow when Chase found the hotel key. “Yes, I’d love a room. A bed, a heater, both of those sound great,” Ben said through chattering teeth.
”A warm shower even? Chase tried to laugh but the cold just hurt. He pulled out his hand and grabbed Ben's, sending them both to the floor they needed to be on before looking to see where their room was. After a few signs he'd found it, swiped the key, and gone in to see a surprisingly nice room the space was wide, they had TV, a minifridge with gatorades in it, his…hoodie? What was that doing here? Atop the bed (wait they had only one bed? Cheapass) was a massive box of chocolates, with another small box on top of it and a note folded in half above it. Chase let out an impressed whistle as he entered the room.
Ben followed Chase into the room. He was impressed too. The room was bigger than he expected. He was a little surprised about there being only one bed. He raised an eyebrow at Chase, not knowing that Chase hadn’t been the one to book the room.
He glanced into the bathroom and a weird feeling washed over him. A sense of relief. The bathroom was big. The shower was ADA accessible. It didn’t give him the normal feeling of the walls closing in around him that he expected.
”Okay, yeah a warm shower even,” he said, bringing it to Chase’s attention.
Chase smiled, as he went over towards Ben. As he walked he stripped off his own jacket, tossing it aside to the floor of the bathroom. He started kissing Ben's neck as he had the night before, and as he did he helped remove his jacket, and then tried to remove his shirt but was too greedy, too hasty in doing so. As he pulled on the shirt the collar ripped, Chase pulled back quickly ”Shit. Sorry man, hope you didn't like this shirt.” Was all he said before going back into it, kissing down his shoulders as he'd done before and leaving a new mark right next to the previous one. The shirt, having already been ruined, was fully torn off of Ben and thrown to the side.
Ben’s shirt had been wet. He winced a little when it was ruined, but it wasn’t his favorite shirt, it wasn’t even a new one. So that was good. He shivered, a mix between the kisses, hickey, and cold that had seeped into his bones. As Chase undressed him, he returned the favor. Helping Chase out of his shirt, adding it to the pile of damp clothing.
”Lucky you, I didn’t really like it.”
Chase resurfaced for a second ”Lucky me indeed.” before he went right back into it, moving them into the bathroom fully as they made out. His hands quickly drifted down to Ben's belt, going to unbuckle it before he stopped, looking up to Ben before his eyes glanced back down. ”Oh, uh, is it ok if I take em off? Or do you want to do it? You are more than welcome to take mine off though if you want.”
Ben took a moment to breathe. Then he nodded. ”Yeah, go ahead,” he said softly. Reaching for Chase’s belt and undoing it, and then unbuckling Chase’s pants.
”Fuck yes.” Chase wasted no time, undoing Ben's belt with one quick motion as he hooked his thumb beneath Ben's boxers and pulled both his pants and boxers off at the same time. Beyond that he kept his hands above the waist, briefly glancing behind him to see the shower knob and pulling on the shadows to solidify and turn it over to hot so the water would warm up as they continued.
Ben helped get Chase the rest of the way out of his clothing. As soon as the water was warm, steam slowly starting to fill the room, Ben stepped into the water. He held one of Chase’s hands, bringing Chase with him. A brief spike of his usual panic hit him, but he held out a hand and found the lack of wall or curtain wildly reassuring. He let the warm water spill over him.
Chase had a whole canvas to kiss now, and his temptations ran wild. But he had promised Ben he wouldn't do more than he was comfortable doing. He did however move his kisses further down, starting from Ben's lips, to his neck, shoulders, chest, all the way down to his stomach before making his way back up. ”You're absolutely gorgeous.” He wanted to press Ben against the shower wall, but he knew that he didn't feel comfortable in them as is, so instead he pulled Ben closer, pressing their bodies against each other.
Ben had his own body image issues, but he kept his mouth shut about that. He had spent the morning reassuring Chase that he thought he was attractive. Ben grabbed Chase’s chin and made him look at him.
”Hey, you’re damn hot yourself.” He grinned.
”And you're holding onto the wrong part of me Big Ben.” Chase glanced down before biting gently on Ben's lower lip. ”I won't argue you, if you think I'm damn hot, that's on you.” His hand slid lower down Ben's back.
Ben gasped in surprise and stepped forward, deeper into Chase’s arm. Ben was blushing.
”Shower?” Ben asked, his voice cracking a little.
Chase laughed, reaching over to grab the body wash that was there. ”Fine. Shower.” He squeezed a bit of the product into his hands, lathering it for a second before placing his hand right on top of the newly formed hickey as he began to wash Ben's shoulders.
Ben relaxed again as Chase started to wash him. ”Want me to return the favor?”
”Do you even have to ask?”
Ben gave a little shrug and got some soap to lather up and started washing Chase back.
The Evening of Jan 3rd
Chase grabbed the towels from the bathroom counter and tossed one over towards Ben after the shower was shut off. He began drying his hair off with the towel, leaving his body fully exposed without any care. Ben had already seen him naked, what was a little longer. He hadn’t known about some of the markings that now littered his body. Six circular marks of discoloration, three on each side of his lower back. There were other similar marks along his spine, all appearing to be the size of a medium sized needle.
Chase grabbed the hoodie off the counter, a note falling out in Morgan's handwriting that simply read ‘Since you ruined his shirt'. Chase smiled and rolled his eyes. ”You can sleep in this tonight if you want. It's my hoodie, since I…sort of ruined your shirt earlier.” Chase let out a nervous chuckle before seeing the second note placed atop the box of condoms. ‘Make sure Ben showers.’ Already did Morgan. He crumbled the two notes and tossed them in the trash before making his way back to Ben, hoodie in hand.
Ben had noticed the markings on Chase, but wasn’t sure how to ask about them. He dried himself off, and wrapped his towel around his waist. Even after that shower he was still nervous and shy about being naked.
”Thank you.” He took the hoodie and slid it on, as he did Ben smelled it, and could smell Chase on it. He smiled. ”Is my bag here or still in the jeep?” He wanted trousers, and boxers. He wondered if the hotel had an option for laundry so that he could wash his trousers from today. Ben may not like showering, but clean clothes was something he did enjoy. He hadn’t planned on his trousers getting totally messed up, though he did have a second pair. Ten days was a long time to go with only one pair of jeans.
”Car. I'll snag it tomorrow morning after we shower again and wash that hair. Just sleep in my hoodie tonight ok? You can even try on some of my perfumes if you'd like, I don't mind sharing. For now– “ Chase tossed his towel onto the bathroom floor. ”–Mind clearing the bed? I could use a lay down even if we don't go to sleep right away.”
Ben nodded, he was glad the hoodie was bigger enough to cover him enough, though he definitely still wished he had boxers at least. At the bed he picked up the giant box of chocolates and box of condoms.
”Did you tell them when you booked this place to uh... that we were... uh...” He held up the box of condoms so that Chase could see.
Embarrassment ran through Chase as he spied the box that Ben was holding. ”Oh my – Morgan! Sorry that's…ugh! Morgan booked the room for us, I guess she decided to leave us a few things.” Chase pointed to the Gatorade in the fridge meant for their post sex electrolyte intake. ”We don't, we don't have to Ben. She's probably laughing it up right now.”
Ben was bright red. He stared at the box for a moment and then looked at Chase. “I-i-i I’m not against the possibility of doing more. I’m actually very interested in it, if you take what certain body parts have said their vote was. I just... I don’t know if tonight is right.” Ben had only known Chase for barely over a week.
Chase sighed with relief. ”OK cool. Cuz I wasn't exactly ready for that. It's all still new you know?” Chase flopped onto the bed, running one hand over his hair as he stared up at the ceiling. The thought of it was enticing, but…it was way too soon. If this was just a hookup or friends with benefits sure, but…Ben felt different.
Ben sighed, relieved. He nodded. “Yeah, same for me. I was just thinking we’ve only known each other for like seven days.” He was already nervous enough with there being only one bed.
“So, um, are we ordering food in? Cause I am definitely not going to any diner dressed like this.”
”Rude. Technically it's been 18 days since we met. Thank you, and we've been texting for at least 8 of those. Sooo.” Chase patted the side of the bed next to him for Ben to join him. ”Im sure there's a menu somewhere here. Go ahead and order us some food, I'm starved.”
”Okay, fair we met earlier than that. But we didn’t know each other that well in the like five minutes we spent watching some teens beat each other up.” Ben hadn’t even really liked Chase in those first hours of knowing him. He had been more irritated than anything. Ben was not telling him that.
Ben looked around for a menu and found one, he flipped through unsure what to get. While deciding he sat next to Chase. ”Hmm, why are like half of these called “California” whatever when the only thing that seems different is they have avocado?”
Chase rolled onto his side, wrapping one arm around Ben as his hand lazily rested against his thigh, grazing against his thigh with his thumb. ”Kinda what we're known for, is just adding avocados to everything. It's good and good for you. Helps keep this bod in shape.” Chase flexed his abs.
Ben laughed, reached over and patted Chase’s abs. ”If it works that well I suppose I should get something with avocado.” He decided on a ‘California Club Sandwich.’ ”You?”
”Get two of the same babe –” Chase froze, then stuttered out the rest. ”Ben, I meant Ben, Big Ben even.” Chase buried his head into Ben's thigh in embarrassment.
Ben froze too. He didn’t know what to do. Part of him wanted to tease Chase. Make it light hearted. Part of him wanted to pretend it didn’t happen. But it had made his gut tighten a little with excitement. His face reddened a little, he patted Chase’s head gently.
”Sure thing babe,” he said. Ben reached for the phone and called the number for room service.
Chase buried his head further into Ben's thigh, nodding yes. He kissed the inner thigh before finally looking up at Ben. ”Thanks. A coke too?”
Ben nodded, he placed the order for two sandwiches and two drinks. He ran his fingers through Chase’s hair as he was on the phone.
”Alright, they’ll deliver it in a bit.” He put the phone back on the cradle.
Chase moaned as Ben ran his fingers through his hair. ”No, don't stop…” He whined, putting a hand on Ben's to make it move on his hair again. He nuzzled further in, kissing his thigh a few times as he got very relaxed. If he was capable of falling asleep, he'd do so in this moment.
Ben smiled indulgently and continued to run his fingers through Chase’s hair. With his other hand he gently rubbed Chase’s back.
Chase arched his back, leaning into the feeling of Ben's fingers against his back. A soft moan escaping him. ”This feels great…”
”Ah good.” Ben kept at it, increasing pressure slightly to see if Chase was still alright with it.
”Didn't realize I would get a massage too. What'd I do to deserve this?” Chase melted over Ben's thigh, looking much like a cat that had fully relaxed itself over the side of a couch. He was half tempted to purr and as he spoke his tone sounded half asleep.
”Were cute,” Ben said. He kept massaging Chase’s back and scratching at his scalp. It felt good to do something nice for Chase after everything that this trip had been. Even now on only day two. Ben felt spoiled and he wanted to spoil Chase back.
”Well damn, I need to be cute more often. This is absolutely wonderful.”
”If I did this every time you were cute I’d never be able to stop.” Ben gently worked around a knot in Chase’s back, pressing around the edges of it, slowly the knot melted away.
”Oh nooo I'm trapped in a cute guy's bare lap as I get a wonderful massage. Whatever will I dooo.” Chase kissed Ben's inner thigh once more, slowly moving up his thigh with each kiss.
”You poor suffering guy.” Ben patted Chase’s head. There was a knock on the door. ”Sorry, I think that’s room service.”
Chase grumbled. He knew that meant one of them would have to get up and regardless of who it was it meant ruining his comfort. He sighed before holding out his hand, the bathroom towel appearing from a pool of shadows that crawled off the wall and onto the bed. ”I'll get it. You sit here and look cute.” He wrapped his towel around his waist, making his way towards the door before opening it. ”Sorry just got out of the shower, you mind leaving it at the door? Here's the tip.” The hand behind the door cupped against it to form a small well of shadows before some cash appeared from his wallet. Handing it over to the delivery person before they left.
Chase waited a bit before finally opening the door fully and grabbing the tray they set the food onto, bringing it over towards Ben. ”Voila” He dropped the towel once more.
Ben’s eyes flickered with the movement of the towel. His face going pink. ”T-t-thank you.” He held out his hand for his sandwich and drink. ”I’ll keep giving you a massage if you want after food?”
Chase looked at Ben's hand, then down as his newly exposed section, then back at Ben's hand and finally met Ben's eyes with a smile and a grin. ”I'd love that, you're really good with your hands.” He grabbed the plate off the tray and handed it over to Ben, leaving the drink on the counter.
Ben was very thankful that he was for once not eating or drinking something when Chase said something that would have made him choke. His face went darker red. Ben took his plate and tried to focus on eating his food.
Chase grabbed his own plate, getting onto the bed and deciding to sit behind Ben, placing his legs around him so that Ben was sitting in between them. He held one arm around Ben's waist, another on his sandwich. Enjoying both the company and the food.
Ben leaned back into Chase a little and munched on his sandwich. It was good to have some food. It wasn’t warm, but he hadn’t wanted to get the soup. He enjoyed the sandwich. The avocado was good. He still didn’t think it was ‘Californian,’ but alright.
The two sat in relative silence and ate their dinner curled up against each other. When Ben finally finished his sandwich he waited for Chase and then took both of their plates to the table. He picked up his drink and opened it, drinking almost half of it quickly. He burped.
”Excuse me.” Ben picked up the other coke and offered it to Chase.
Chase grabbed his bottle and uncapped it as well, chugging down his half before letting out a horrendous belch. ”Do better.” He smiled before sipping at the sip and capping it once more.
Ben raised an eyebrow, smiled and chugged another portion of his drink, trying to get as much air with it as possible. Once he finished drinking he took another deep breath, swallowing it after the drink. He let that settle for a moment before burping again. It was loud and smelled a little funky.
Chase waved away Ben's burp, laughing at the same time as he made sounds of protest. ”Du-u-u-ude. What was that smell? No more avocado's for you.” He lay there laughing on the bed.
Ben shook his head. ”That was the Lipton tea.” He laughed and lay down on the bed, putting his soda on the nightstand.
Chase wasted no time. The second Ben hit the bed he wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him in close. His left leg hooking behind Ben's as the hand that had just pulled him found its way under the hoodie and up his back, leaving them incredibly entwined with no space between them. ”We have got to stop meeting like this.”
Ben squeaked as Chase latched onto him. He didn't freeze or tense. That nervousness was gone now. But the proverbial butterflies fluttered away.
”I can't massage you like this,” he protested softly.
Chase's knee jerk reaction was to want to say ’How about I massage you from the inside’ as a joke, but he worried somehow that may actually happen. The hotel room was nice, the bed was comfortable, and the company was divine, but he didn't think starting with that line was the best idea for anyone's first time. ”You can massage me later.” He said as his fingers walked up and down Ben's back. ”I just want to enjoy you right now.”
Ben smiled and snuggled in closer to Chase. Ben wanted to ask about Chase’s back, but he didn't want to ruin the moment even more. He decided he would ask this week. Before the trip was over, but maybe in the car or during one of their breaks. Like the one in Tehachapi where they had wandered the supermarket.
”What if I want to enjoy you?”
Chase's breath hitched in his throat. A small shudder escaped as his mind raced to figure out what it was that Ben meant. ”Ho–h–how would you like to do that?”
Ben considered that question. It wasn't sex. Sure that was something he was very interested in. Eventually. Right now though he wanted to just lie with Chase. Explore him. He was afraid to take this all too fast. That doing so would break it. He wanted to hear the soft breathing from Chase. He wanted to hear his laughter. He wanted a whole lot of things and Ben did not have the tools or language to express those desires.
”I think this is nice,” he said after a moment of contemplation. ”We can... explore.”
Chase swallowed. He felt Ben's hand slowly sliding down closer and closer but he kept his eyes affixed to Ben's. His breathing became ragged again at the touch. He was split in equal parts desiring for this to happen and afraid of what might come after. He wanted to hold Ben close yet push him away all together. ”I leave that in your hands. I won't make you do anything you don't want, I promised you that. I don't want to rush you, to rush this, but ‐” He chuckled, a soft breath following it. ”I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to explore.”
Ben swallowed. Fuck he was nervous. He was curious. He wanted to explore.
”I’d be lying too. I want to, but I’m scared,” he admitted.
Chase chuckled as he buried his head into Ben's chest. ”Me too. It feels so stupid but…I'm real nervous about it all.” He pressed a bit closer into Ben. Ben kissed the top of Chase’s head. Not something he usually had access to being the shorter of the pair. He suddenly wished he had trousers on. Wished there was something he could remove to be a bit closer to Chase. All he had on though was his sweater. He moved his hand closer.
”I, uh, I’m not sure what I’m doing.” Ben knew Chase was in the same boat. They had both expressed how this was their first... whatever this was. Ben paused.
”Do we... are we going to be more? Do you want more than this week? Or is this just a...” he trailed off not wanting to call it a fling.
Chase carefully moved his hand up to Ben's, trailing his finger along the back of Ben's hand before gently pushing it further down. ”Didn't I already tell you Big Ben? I'm your boyfriend from the stands.” He said with a grin as he looked back up into Ben's eyes before giving him a kiss.
Some tension left Ben. If this was something more serious he could take it seriously. If Chase had joked and said a fling then Ben might have done the dumb thing and accepted it as such. Had a good week and then would have tried to let go of all of the feelings he had tumbling through him. But Chase gave him something to hold onto.
He kissed back, his hand sliding along and before coming back up.
The two of them explored each other. Nerves and shyness overborn by desire and interest. It was not perfect. No first exploration of someone else is. But it was for them what they wanted.
Jan. 4th
Day two at Sequoia
Chase had already been awake before Ben the next morning, the bags ushered in before the dawn even broke. Breakfast had been placed for them and ready by the time Ben woke up. The last night had been a whirlwind of emotions for him, and he had a whole night to try and figure them all out, which he didn't. He did however spend a few sketching Ben as he slept, the view outside their window, and their lovely lady bug, the trees from the hike before, and an image of Ben covered in snow painted with water color to accent the rosie points and his dark hair.
Chase placed a gentle kiss on Ben's forehead as he woke him up. ”Morning Bed Bug, how'd you sleep?” He asked as he began placing the morning's meal on the bedside table next to him.
Ben stretched. Surprised that Chase had clearly been up and about again. He had even ordered breakfast.
“Good morning, I slept really well. Had dreams about you and insects.” Most people if they had dreams about insects would not be happy about it.
”About me?” Chase watched Ben stretch, watched the way his hoodie slightly rose off his stomach revealing a bit of skin before falling back down. It made sense Ben would dream of insects, but him? This whole trip felt like a dream and it had only been two days so far. ”Tell me about it, I wanna hear your dreams.” He brought over the pot of hot water they had sent, placing it on the counter before holding up two bags of tea for Ben to choose from. The only two ‘acceptable’ choices, English Breakfast or Earl Grey.
Ben sat up and grabbed an English Breakfast. He was already red in the face with the question about his dream. ”It uh... it was a dirty dream,” He told Chase honestly.
”Well now you have to tell me.” Chase placed the Earl Grey down and grabbed his own cup of black coffee, taking a sip as he looked towards Ben attentively.
Ben cleared his throat and set about making his tea just right. As he did he started to tell Chase the dream. It had already started slipping away from him, but he told the parts he remembered as best as he could. However, he was nervous about it. The dream had been vivid enough that he was shy while telling Chase about it. His face and ears were bright red. The insects, it should be noted, were not involved in any of the dream that Chase had been involved in. He sipped at his tea satisfied. It was about damn time he had a good cup of tea while on this trip.
Chase’s face went through several expressions as he listened to the dream. He'd have to remember those details for later if they ever got to trying anything. It didn't help seeing how shy Ben was being, he absolutely adored it. Whether it was an act or all Ben, he didn't care, he just wanted more of it. ”That is one impressive dream there. Might have to test some of it out and see if it's as good in real life as it is in your dream.” He took another sip of his coffee before sitting down with his own food next to Ben. A large plate of Avocado Toast with a lemon wedge and some sliced tomatoes that were lightly salted.
Ben could not get redder. He sipped his tea trying to regain composure. He was not succeeding at it. He munched on his breakfast, and sipped his tea, all the while trying to not get turned on.
Chase placed his cup on the counter next to him. Using one hand to eat his breakfast as the other was placed on Ben's bare leg and ran up and down his thigh slowly. ”Try this.” He reached over towards Ben, having him try his avocado toast.
So much for that, Ben thought as Chase’s hand slid up his thigh. He shifted trying to cover it with the sweater. He really wished he had his boxers or trousers right about now. Ben leaned over and took a bite of the toast. It tasted good.
”Oh I like that. The lemon helps the flavor a lot,” Ben said, his voice only cracking a little.
”It's good right?” Chase took another bite as he noticed Ben readjusting his hoodie. His hand sliding even higher up this time. ”And see? Even made sure you had a proper cup before I pestered you. It's very important you get one each morning. “ Chase teased as he reached over to grab his coffee.
Ben whimpered. ”A proper cup of tea is a very important start for the day,” Ben said breathlessly. He was trying to eat and drink his food, but Chase was making that very difficult.
Marvel Jesus Christ. The whimpers. It only made Chase want to do it more. He moved his hand as high as it would go,he squeezed Ben's thigh slightly. ”Mind if I take a sip?”
If Chase wanted to elicit more whimpers... He succeeded. Ben gasped, bit his lip and tried to keep from reacting more. He was not very good at that. ”Go for it,” Ben said, his voice shaky. He held out his tea cup for Chase.
Chase leaned over and took a sip from Ben's cup, looking up at him as he drank. ”Tastes good, actually really good. Kind of sweet but not overly so. Though I think I prefer the taste of –” He leaned further down, first kissing Ben's thigh, then biting it softly as he did so a few times before coming back up. ”– you.”
Ben almost spilled his tea. If it weren’t for a lifetime of keeping his tea cups from spilling he probably would have. He also moaned.
”This is just getting to be cruel. Are we... uh... having a slow morning in?” he asked haltingly.
”Cruel? Here I thought you enjoyed my little touches. But I can stop if you'd like. I figured we can have a bit of a slow morning, go out to Beetle rock then stay the night here until we jet off to the next place tomorrow.” At this point Chase had fully leaned up, going to grab his abandoned breakfast as his hand slowly retreated from Ben's upper thigh.
”I do enjoy your touches. A little too much. So if you’re going to finish what you started please do. Otherwise, I think I’ll take that morning shower by myself, because I’ll want to take care of this.” Ben had paused before he spoke, taking a couple deep breaths trying to find his equilibrium.
”I love the way you think my little Bed Bug.” Chase abandoned his plate once more, lowering himself on the bed as he rolled over and placed himself between Ben's legs as he lay on his stomach. He began kissing him up his thigh as he spoke in-between each kiss. ”Start – off – in – the bed – finish – in – the – shower – together.” By the end of this his mouth was right where his hand used to be, buried between, as he kissed him several times.
Ben gasped with the first movement and then moaned at the kisses. He already knew he was going to have to be careful with his clothing when he got back, making sure he kept certain spots covered. He wondered briefly if his Uncle thought this might happen. That thought was shattered. He didn’t speak, just gave a soft ”Uh-huh,” of agreement.
Chase came up from Ben's lap, looking at his boyfriend. ”Don't let your food get cold, I'm enjoying mine.” As soon as he finished speaking he repeated what'd he'd done but on the other leg. Making sure not to miss a single bit of skin on his way up.
”I don’t think I can multitask like that,” Ben admitted. He whimpered again as Chase grasped him. Yeah, eating food and doing this at the same time was off the table.
Chase continued for a moment longer before he finally stopped, letting go slowly, before making his way to his side of the bed. ”If you can't do both then you'll need to eat first. We still have a whole shower to get through and I'm sure it'll be an enjoyable one. “
Ben moaned in disagreement, but quickly ate what was left of his breakfast. ”Fine. Done.”
Chase had finished his own meal, and as soon as Ben gave the green light he struck. Getting between his legs again, as he used his own to spread Ben's wider. He placed his hands on Ben's hips and pulled him towards him and onto Ben’s back, legs up, as Chase kissed his neck. His hands found purchase on Ben's lower and upper back, before thrusting towards him and using the angle of his legs to lift Ben up and onto his lap where he now sat.
”Eep!” Ben exclaimed as Chase maneuvered him. He did not know what Chase was planning.
Chase grinned. ”You ready to go in?”
Ben’s eyes widened. ”Uh...”
”Benny Boy…seriously? The shower? You promised we'd take one today and hinted at us finishing in there.” Chase's hold slacked a little bit, allowing Ben to move a little further away so they could see each other's eyes.
Ben gave a tiny sigh of relief and then nodded. ”Yeah, okay, that sounds good.” He licked his lips nervously.
Chase lifted Ben up, carefully getting off the bed as he began to walk towards the shower. Ben's arms wrapped around Chase’s neck, while his legs wrapped around his waist. As soon as he got into the threshold of the bathroom he gave Ben a kiss on his neck. ”And once we get in we can fuck.” Chase said with a grin before laughing as he couldn't keep a straight face.
Ben was starting to think Chase got off on the noises he made. ”What!?” Ben’s voice cracked.
”What? You said not tonight and it's morning now so clearly it's fine now right?” Chase kissed Ben's lips. ”Im joking. That won't happen until you ask or tell me that you're ready for it. Already told you that.” Chase used one hand to take off his hoodie from Ben before he turned the shower on for them both.
Ben moved so that Chase could take off the hoodie easier. ”Good. Thank you.” He was relieved. Again he didn’t have the usual panic and hatred that bubbled, it was a heady feeling. He felt safe. He kissed Chase.
”I'm going to press you against the wall slightly. Is that ok? I just need a bit of help keeping you up if I'm going to wash those dark curls of yours. Once the shampoo and soap comes out things will get slippery and I don't want you getting hurt. Is that…ok?” Chase hadn't put him against the wall yet, his tone reassuring and soft as he spoke.
Ben nodded. He didn’t see a reason why that would be a problem.
Chase pressed Ben against the shower's cold wall, kissing Ben's neck as he did. His hand tracing along Ben's side.
That was in fact a problem. It felt like his stomach dropped into a pit. Fear pulsed through him. Ben tensed. He slammed one of his arms that had been wrapped around Chase against the wall. Almost like he was trying to press against the wall, push it away from himself. His reaction could be interpreted as a reaction to the coldness of the wall.
Chase continued to kiss Ben's neck, smiling as he moved and tensed. ”Sorry sorry it's a bit cold. It'll warm up in a bit I promise. Just give it time.”
Ben tried to breathe. It was like breathing through a straw. He gulped at the air as the fear and panic seemed to overwhelm him. ”Down. Please.”
Chase instantly pulled Ben away from the wall. He recognized the panic that was setting in. The same panic he felt sometimes when submerged in water, when his eyes closed and he forgot he wasn't locked in the tank any longer. That he was free. He placed Ben onto the built-in chair in the shower, kneeling before him as he cupped his face and bent the shadows to force the water to hit straight down and away from them. ”BennyBabe. Breathe, please deep slow breaths, breathe. What's wrong? Talk to me.”
Ben gulped at the air, trying to focus on Chase and his voice. Removed from the wall it was easier. He gripped onto Chase, not pulling away, but using him to ground himself. It took a bit of time. Ben couldn’t answer right away. His eyes were brimming with tears.
”That... was,” he swallowed, and then shook his head. ”I don’t know, but it has never been that bad. Never. Not like that.”
”I think…” Chase felt a bit of panic welling inside his own chest. He wanted to help Ben, but if he said too much he may end up hating him instead. He sighed, a shaky breath. ”It was just a small panic attack. I don't know what caused it, but…I've had them before myself. Do you know…can you describe what you felt?”
Ben swallowed again, he hadn’t let go of Chase, his hands were shaking.
”I touched the wall, it was... my stomach, my lungs. It feels like I’m breathing through a straw. I can’t get enough air.”
”You're claustrophobic. Why didn't you tell me? I mean, I should've figured it out, sure. The car rides, shower issues, it makes sense.” Chase clicked his tongue before pressing his forehead against Ben's. ”Dude. Not cool, you have to let me know about these things or I can't plan for them.” It explained why Morgan had chosen an ADA shower now. The whole bathroom was a wide open space including the shower.
Ben’s eyebrows furrowed. ”Claustrophobic?” His heart rate was slowing down and he could get full breaths now.
Chase mouthed the word ‘Oh’. Ben didn't know. He couldn't have told him because he didn't even know himself. ”Basically you don't do well in small or tight spaces. Bathtubs, small showers, cars. You…may want to tell the Old Man about this. Not to kill the mood but, it's something a guardian should know. Which begs the question, how'd you stay in the closet for so long?”
Ben was nodding along. Okay, that made sense. Yeah he’d have to tell Uncle Matt. What? He pulled back a little and tilted his head confused, in the closet? And then it dawned on him. He hadn’t told anyone he was gay, he hadn’t even realized it till now, he was in the closet. He hadn’t come out. He blinked, and then laughed.
Chase smiled as Ben laughed. Thank goodness he was taking this well. He didn't know how he would handle someone having a panic attack while they're both naked inside of a shower. He rested his head down on Ben's lap with a sigh. ”Really had me scared there for a moment Bug.”
Ben ran his fingers through Chase’s hair, ”Sorry. I didn’t expect that. Looking back, it makes sense though. As soon as I saw the shower when we arrived I didn’t have this pit in my gut. I had had this building tension in my shoulders, but it went away. It felt okay. I didn’t know why.”
”I'm glad.” He let Ben run his fingers through his hair. Breathing softly as he did so before kissing Ben's thigh. ”Didn't mean to kill the mood. Sorry.”
”If anyone killed it it was me,” Ben said softly. ”I don’t know what would have happened if you didn’t take me away from the wall. I felt like I was being pressed in a vice. I think normally at home in the shower I have time to hype myself up for it. I didn’t with that. You didn’t know.” Ben was babbling a little. Losing the train of thought. But he wanted to reassure Chase.
”You ready to get back in it? Still gotta wash that hair.”
Ben took a couple more deep breaths and then nodded. ”Yeah. I am.”
Chase held his hand out for Ben to take as he stood up. Leading the pair back into the showers before grabbing the bottle of shampoo and lathering it into Ben's hair. They each helped each other wash up, cleaning what little remained from the day before. When done, Chase grabbed the towels and gave one to Ben, similar to last night as he walked away drying his hair. This time however he had made his way over towards his bags. Grabbing a small wooden box that contained two small glass vials with rubber stoppers and a slightly larger glass cylinder with a roll on bar at its end.
He held each one up one at a time as he explained them to Ben. ”This one smells like wet soil and tree bark, this one is more like a smokey campfire, and this one smells like fresh rain. I usually mix them together to make my own scent, real careful with how much of each I use. And because it's oils you don't need a whole ton.”
Ben took the towel and dried off. He took his time. Lost a little in thought as he wrapped the towel around his waist and joined Chase. He listened to the descriptions.
“Is it a combination of all three that makes your sweater smell like that?”
Chase felt his face get a little warm. He hadn't noticed Ben had been smelling his sweater. ”Probably. That and a mixture of my own natural oils. Scents change from person to person based on body chemistry. But it'll be real close to it. Why? Stupid question, but Chase wanted to hear it.
Ben's face reddened slightly as he said, ”I liked the smell of it, I like your smell.”
Chase sighed. Grabbing his stick of deodorant and walking it over towards Ben.”Use this, I'll put my perfume on you after so you can smell like me. Let me know when my scent comes off that.” Chase pointed towards the sweater Ben had been using. ”I'll swap it out and give you a new one, well slightly used one, each time. Deal?”
Ben smiled, ”Deal.” He put on the deodorant and got dressed in fresh clothes. His trousers from the day prior had been left in the bathroom and were not pleasant, but he did have a clean pair.
Chase doled out the oils, placing them carefully on Ben's wrists, and neck. Letting them dry off before placing a kiss at each spot. ”Hate to admit it, but you look better in my sweater than I do.”
Ben snorted with a small laugh. He liked Chase doing this. Even if he felt not using the Axe was leaving yet another piece of home behind. He hated that. But loved this. Another annoying contradiction. Would it end?
”If we have time today to hit up a laundry mat we should; our clothes from yesterday need it.”
”I think there's one in this building. May as well clean up all our clothes before moving forward. Good call.”
Ben gathered all the dirty clothes. Including the ones from the first day. If they were doing laundry, might as well wash it all. Ben wanted to make sure he had a pair of clean trousers as a back up in case he got dirty again.
”Let's go find it.”
The pair of them found the laundry and set it to wash. They'd have to wait but they could hang out while waiting. Once that was finished they headed back into the park for Beetle Rock. On the way Chase saw a World Market store and they stopped to check out the international section of the store. They stocked up on snacks from Ben's part of the world.
The pair had finally made it towards their destination, Beetle Rock. Hiking through a short trail within the forest lead them over to a large rocky surface, that overlooked some of the mountain range. The clear blue skies above them made the scenery ahead seem almost like a Bob Ross painting. Chase had sat down on one of the larger boulders present, hands placed behind him as he stared off into the distance.
Ben sat next to Chase looking out at the vista. ”Do you want to do some art?” Ben asked. ”We can definitely sit here for a while and enjoy the view.”
Chase startled a bit as Ben spoke. ”I'd…like that, yeah. Easier to do when the subject is in front of me instead of just from a picture.” He pulled out his small sketchbook, flipping through the days pages until he found a blank one. His expression more concentrated as he began to sketch out a rough draft of the scenery with a very light hand.
Ben watched as Chase drew. He snapped a photo, and changed that to the contact photo. It was a perfect picture. Chase doing what he enjoyed. Ben sat quietly next to him, he didn't feel pressed in like he did in the car and now he understood why.
He texted Matt, gave him the usual general updates. He looked up claustrophobia. A sense of relief at understanding what was wrong with him washed over. The conversation in the shower had been a crack in something he hadn't realized had controlled him so completely. He was still afraid of it all, but the knowing made it easier to handle.
Chase hadn't noticed when Ben took the picture. Too focused as he began to perfect the lines of his sketch, deepening the pressure of the pencil to make more permanent changes as he tried his best to encapsulate the scenery. There were moments he hadn't touched the paper at all, placing the pencil between his upper lip and nose and balancing it there as he scrunched his face to figure out what to do next before finally putting pencil to paper again. The silence was nice. He didn't dislike Ben talking, in fact he enjoyed just about every noise he made. But he loved to be wrapped in silence, to hear nothing but the world around him.
Ben didn't want to disturb Chase, but he did want to get up and walk around a bit. He would hold off though. He mentally reached out and a beetle flew to him landing on his open palm. It was a common enough beetle but that didn't change Ben's joy. Beetles were great, common or not.
The fluttering of wings caught Chase's attention. Turning to look at Ben as the beetle landed on him. ” I can…finish this later if you wanted to do something else.”
Ben winced, ”I didn't want to disturb you. I'll walk around a bit. You keep drawing.” Ben didn't enjoy sitting still. But that didn't mean he didn't want to give Chase the opportunity for it.
”And let you out of my sight? I think your Old Man would kill me if he found out I did that. Besides, it's supposed to be time together.” Chase stood up and dusted off his jeans, there wasn't much on them but it was more of habit than anything. ”Where do you wanna go?”
”It wasn't go anywhere. It was just not sitting. I was going to start tapping my leg or something. Sit back down it is fine. I won't go far, just around the back edges of the rock. I won't even go to the edge.” Ben, who had been doing parkour for years, was not afraid of heights. He did have a healthy respect for it though, even if he enjoyed being arboreal more than most people.
Chase sighed, rolling his eyes at Ben before sitting back down. ”Bed Bugs gotta skitter, I get it. Just…stay in sight please? It's already so hard to say no to you.” He pulled out his book once more, this time alongside his set of travel water colors.
Ben stuck out his tongue, indignation and silliness waring for a place on his face.
”What does that mean?” Ben asked, the beetle on his hand still pacing around it.
”What?” Chase had no idea what Ben was asking about, or if he was even asking him. Maybe the bugs had told him a secret.
”I don't understand what you mean, if I step away, how will that make it harder to say no to me?”
Chase laughed, almost missing the small water reserve with his brush as he did so. ”The two aren't related. I was just saying to stay close, but also that it's a pain that I can't seem to say no to your adorable face. I like seeing you happy.”
Ben laughed once he understood. ”That makes way more sense. Enjoy painting.” Ben stepped away a bit, not so far that he wasn't within normal speaking voice distance from Chase, but far enough that his pacing shouldn't bother Chase. He let the beetle go, and called another insect to him.
Chase abandoned his sketch all together, starting a new one. It was a little difficult, with how often Ben moved around. But he sketched rough drafts of various poses that Ben unknowingly did in his pacing, his search for insects, and as he generally just enjoyed the space. Defining the features when he got enough poses that he liked.
Ben didn't notice the page change so he didn't notice that Chase was watching him. He'd squat down to look at a small plant pushing its way through cracks in the stone. He'd hold out his hand for one insect or another. He rarely stood still for very long, only when he stopped with an insect and inspecting it, did he stand still and even then he moved a little bit. He mumbled partially to himself and partially to the insects he found.
Eventually he came upon one insect with a busted wing. It would never fly again. It would die, either of not enough nutrients or a predator. Ben had the little plastic tank that Chase had given him. He gathered the bug and some of the plants around so that it would have something to eat. The insect settled in and Ben came over to Chase.
Chase was finishing the details of an image of Ben squatting down, feet firmly planted on the floor as his arm hugged his knees and another stood out extended between a small flower and a bug on his finger. He was finishing the curls of Ben's hair when a shadow came over him. His eyes looking up to see Ben closing in.
”You said we weren't supposed to take anything, but this little one has a broken wing. He won't survive here.” Ben held the little tank out to Chase to see. ”I told him he could come with me, or I could release him somewhere else a bit safer. He seems fine coming with me.”
”Well now you have to name it.” Chase wanted to tap on the ‘glass’ but he knew better. Looking closer at the beetle as it moved around in it's enclosure. ”Did you warn him he wont see home for at least another week?”
”I did. Might need to grab some soil, outside the park, but he should be fine. I know his needs and can meet the minimum. He would die if I leave him. He has a chance if I take him.”
”See? You're already a hero. Helping out those who need it.” Chase leaned in and gave Ben a kiss before going back towards his drawings. ”If you leave me alone for too long I may lose track of time, so let me know when you're ready for that sweet hotel life again or if you want to see another trail.” Chase handed the park map over to Ben.
Ben kissed Chase back. ”Okay, he set the small tank next to Chase and went back to his meandering walk around the rock. About an hour later Ben came back to Chase again.
”Alright, I'm ready to do something else now.” He had taken several photos of the view. Sending them to both Danni and Matt. He had enjoyed meeting a random assortment of insects.
Chase closed his book, standing up once more before ruffling Ben's hair. ”Alright Big Ben, you two ready for a bit of a jump? There's a meadow a bit further away I think you'll enjoy.” Chase tried to find a suitable shadow, aiming for one of the longer ones that stemmed from the trees surrounding the area. Once in they were engulfed in shadows before appearing behind another tree in a vast clearing.
Ben grinned, he picked up the little tank with the beetle. He held Chase’s hand with the hand not holding the tank. In the new place Ben spun around checking it out. He sat the tank down on its side and opened the lid so the beetle could leave and explore too. He still hadn't decided on a name.
Chase began walking around, taking in the new scenery. His mind wandered as he could imagine epic treks and battles happening here. Knights in glistening armor, witches and warlocks, all either gathered in ceremony or battle or simply on a quest to find an artifact. His hand twitched, longing to grab a sword and play around.
Despite the cold and the snow, the meadow was alive. Ben smiled and trailed his fingers along some fresh green grass. The land here was thirsty, and it drank deep of the snow melt, making the ground soggy. It wasn’t cold enough for the soil to be frozen solid.
Ben reached out to the insects in the area. There were several and he called to a beetle, placing his hand on the ground near a downed log. It climbed to his hand and he examined it, then held it out for Chase to see. ”Look, it is a diabolical ironclad beetle.”
A sword made of shadows had begun to form, wispy and dark, and as Ben spoke it faded away. Snapping Chase from his little daydream. He smiled as the new beetle was presented to him, snapping a photo once more. ”Why is he so diabolical?” He laughed.
Ben tilted his head thinking. ”You know, I don’t know why. I think it is just because of how it looks.”
”Rude. I always say you shouldn't judge anything by its cover, or by what you hear. You should form your own opinions. Though maybe it's diabolical in like a wicked way. Like it looks so cool and ironclad.”
”It does look like it is ready to go into battle. This type doesn’t fly. If it did, I imagine fae would fly it into battle.”
”More like a fae steed then. Charging into battle with them on their backs.”
”Oh, maybe jousting is done from the backs of them?”
”Ooooo yes. Love that. Wait gimme a second.” Chase pulled out his sketchpad and began to make a rough sketch, something to finish for later. A drawing of Ben clad in armor riding on the back of the beetle with a jousting stick.
Ben leaned over looking at the sketch. ”Oh, fun.” He grinned.
Chase smiled meekly. ”You uh…ever use swords?”
”Like real ones?”
”Or practice ones, wooden, sticks, a mop”
”Oh yeah, totally. And cardboard tubes from wrapping paper.”
Chase laughed. ”Exactly. Winner gets to wear the Christmas Cracker Crown.”
Ben laughed too, he nodded. ”Basically. You know about Christmas Crackers?”
”Yeah, seen videos of them. Never had one of my own but, they seemed really cool.” Chase raised his eyebrow as he looked around the space and back towards Ben. ”You wanna?”
Ben looked around the meadow, he grinned and nodded ”Yeah.” He looked around a little more earnestly for an appropriate branch.
”Think fast.” Chase snagged a few shadows from behind the trees and formed a dulled sword before tossing it towards Ben, forming his own from another pool of shadows.
Ben caught the shadow sword. ”No cheating using your powers to control my sword.” He looked over the weapon and then took a fighting stance.
”I would never.” Chase sounded appalled at the accusation. If anything, he wanted Ben to win. He'd look cute in a crown.
Once Chase showed he was ready, Ben went on the offensive. He had played this with sticks and cardboard tubes dozens of times. His mates enjoyed this game. This wasn’t the most ideal location for Ben as it was an open meadow, but he was able to get to the edge of it and use some downed trees to his advantage, pulling himself up and saying ”Ah, I have the high ground now.”
The fight devolved from there. The two of them messing around, it was that Ben could use the trees to his advantage just a little better, and it helped that Chase was not using the shadows to trip Ben, or mess with him. The final blow was a gentle tap to the neck, a killing blow. Ben was breathing hard from the exorcise. ”A killing blow.” He grinned.
Chase gripped his neck with one hand as he fell to the opposite side on the ground. ”Oh no! Im dying dying…blood blood ack.” He mocked bleeding out as his hands pretended to spray out like blood from his neck before finally closing his eyes, giggling. After a moment he sat back up, kneeling on one knee as he dissipated the swords and used the same shadows to form a cracker crown, presenting it to Ben. ”Your prize my liege.”
Ben watched Chase being silly, he held back laughter, but only barely. His lips were tight pressed. He picked up the crown from Chase’s hands.
”I shall name thee my first knight. So shall start my rule over all.” He placed the crown on his head, trying to look serious.
”Your knight huh?” Chase chuckled as he stood up and gave Ben a kiss. ”Any time any place, you tell me what you wish to rule over and it shall be your's. That is my promise to you as your knight.”
Ben kissed Chase back. ”That’s a dangerous promise. What if I become evil?”
”Then we'll go evil together.” Chase held out his pinky for Ben.
Ben nodded, and held out his pinky. ”Pinky promise.”
”Then it's settled.” Chase lifted their pinky up and kissed them. ”And sealed with a kiss. Let's try not to though, I don't need to be typecast as the villain just because my powers are dark.”
”Yeah, I don’t want to be evil.” Ben shook his head, his cheeks were red, partially from the playing around, and partially from Chase kissing his pinky.
”We should consider food soon.”
”And pass up this absolute snack I have in front of me?” Chase pulled Ben in close, peppering his cheeks with quick kisses. ”You tell me where you want to eat and I'll make it happen my liege. Just say the word.”
Ben giggled as Chase kissed him, he hugged Chase and kissed him on the lips. ”Hmm, pizza?”
Chase stopped the kisses and stared at Ben for a moment. ”Ben, Big Ben, Bug Boi Benny, Liege of my Life, you have chosen a diabolical request of me. Because now I must ask you a very important question. Does pineapple belong on pizza?”
”I’ve never had pineapple on pizza. That sounds strange though.”
”Its settled. Half pineapple chicken, half whatever you Londoners put what is it? Anchovies?” Chase teased.
Ben’s face distorted in distaste. ”I do not like anchovies. I usually just get a Margherita.”
”Well fuck me Bug Boi. OK two pies, one Chicken Hawaiian one Marg because I do love me a good Marg.”
”Sounds good. I’ll try a piece of yours at least. See if I like it.” Ben let go of Chase, ”Let me grab my mighty stead and we can head out.” Ben went over to the small tank and gathered the beetle back into it.
Chase went to grab the shadows so that a doorway would open for them, taking them back to the Jeep once Ben grabbed his bug. But they wouldn't answer his call. He stared at his hand for a moment, confused. ”What the? Bad news Big Ben, we gotta walk back. Think I may have exhausted myself for the day.”
Ben was a little surprised for a second, but then he realized all the shaping of shadows for the swords and his crown must have been exhausting. He reached up and touched the crown of his head, checking to see if the crown was still there.
”No worries. Just means we’ll work up enough appetite for large pizzas.”
”Sure will, let's head back up.” Chase reached out to hold Ben's hand before he began the trek back to the car. About midway through the crown finally vanished from Ben's head, the shadows no longer capable of holding together. Chase checked online to see if the hotel offered the pizza options they wanted or if they'd need to head out for the bite. Either way he'd make it happen for Ben, but was fortunate enough to see the hotel offered it as he turned to show Ben with excitement.
”Perfect, another lovely night in with my favorite knight.”
”And his sword if you so desire my king.” Chased wiggled his eyebrow at Ben.
Ben laughed, ”Hmm, you do have a very nice sword.”
If Chase had any food or drink at the moment, he would've choked. How his little Bed Bug managed to even utter those words threw him for a loop. He rubbed the back of his neck as he looked away shy. ”Thanks. I uh…like your sword too. Its…really nice.”
Ben was smiling, though his face had reddened as well. ”Fair turnabout.” He winked. ”Well my sword has been hard lately.”
Chase swallowed hard. ”You don't say? I dare think we should hurry back then, ensure your sword polished and cared for.” The shadows around them began to dance, yet no wind had moved the trees. They crept towards one another before the doorway had formed off to the side of Ben.
Ben’s face finished the transition from his natural pale to red, including his ears. He cleared his throat. ”And your sword, my knight? Does it need a... polish?”
”In every imaginable way.” Chase spied the door, then looked at Ben as he smiled and pushed him through as he followed suit. Each one landing within their own seats in the Jeep as Chase quickly tried to buckle up. ”We can polish here or back at the hotel. Your call my lord, as your knight I will say I wouldn't mind both. “
Ben gave a small yelp of surprise. He buckled his seat belt. And considered a ‘sword polish’ in the parking lot of the National Park.
”Hotel please, my knight.”
Chase leaned his head against the headrest of his seat. Tease. He was so ready to unbuckle his pants but if his King desired the space and comfort of a hotel room then he would have it. ”As you wish.”
Ben blinked. Had Chase seen The Princess Bride? Was this just a continuation of their banter? If his face had been red with blushing before now it was deep crimson. He put his hands on his cheeks hoping to cool them down.
”Have you seen The Princess Bride?”
”Uh, yeah?” Fuck. Had Ben seen the movie? Chase figured he skipped out on it in lieu of other classics like Monty Python.
”It’s uh... very good. Love the Rats of Unusual Size.” Ben said, unsure of what else to say.
Chase simply nodded. Unable to speak as his nerves began to run rampant. They needed to get to the hotel, fast. He kept one hand on the wheel, reaching the other one over to hold Ben's hand, but wanting to grab some much more.
Ben dropped his hand from his face and took Chase’s hand. He let the silence settle, but gently squeezed Chase’s hand, hopefully reassuring him. It wasn’t the same... right? They were just bantering. Neither of them were there yet. They barely knew each other.
They'd finally reached the hotel, and as soon as Chase parked the car he brought them straight into the room. He kept the curtains drawn so that it'd remain dark for them, sending them both atop the bed as he quickly began to remove Ben's pants and kiss his neck.
Ben forgot about The Princess Bride, for now, as Chase removed his trousers. He helped the process along and kissed Chase back. Blindly reaching for Chase’s clothing to remove it. He wanted to feel Chase’s skin. Ben wanted Chase pressed up against him. He wanted for them both to release.
Once their close had been abandoned, tossed off to any corner of the room that seemed most convenient at the time, Chase instantly went to work. Picking up where he had left off this morning when neither were able to finish.
Evening of Jan. 4th
Chase laid in bed, arm around Ben, as he stared up at the ceiling fan that was spinning above them. He was out of breath, a bit sweaty, and in bliss. ”Probably should've ordered the food first so we didn't have to wait huh?”
”We were distracted. We can order now.” Ben shrugged, he did not feel bad about not waiting. That had been great. He was smiling, he gently caressed Chase’s chest.
Chase handed the phone to Ben. ”You order, I wanna bask in your visage a bit longer.”
Ben snorted with laughter and then got up enough to grab the phone and dial for room service. He placed the order quickly, and then hung the phone up.
”Done.” He smiled. ”So now that we are officially waiting for our food, what do you want to do?”
Chase placed one arm over his face, covering his eyes as Ben asked him what he wanted to do. His answer was obvious. Ben. But he didn't want Ben to feel like that's all he wanted from him. He was smiling beneath it all, but couldn't find the words to say. So all that came out was. ”I dunno. Minds a bit one track right now, give it a bit.”
Ben smiled. ”How about this, turn over. I never finished that massage.”
”Gladly.” Chase turned over, giving Ben space in case he needed to straddle his back to give the message.
Ben sat up and was about to straddle Chase when he realized something. ”Wait, do you have lotion?” he asked. He didn’t have any with him.
Chase’s voice was muffled by the pillow as his hands pointed towards a bag in the corner of the room atop the cuck chair. ”Top zipper pocket. Can't miss it.”
”Cool.” Ben hopped off the bed and stepped over to the bag, opening the appropriate pocket and pulling out the bottle of lotion. He put some on his hands, tossed the bottle on the bed, in case he needed more, and then rubbed his hands together a little to warm up the lotion. He climbed onto Chase, sitting lightly on his butt, and then started to work the lotion into Chase’s back.
Chase let out a soft moan, muffled by the pillows, as he felt the pressure from Ben's hands against his back. One hand drifting towards Ben's leg as he began to message it lightly with his fingers.
Ben started working on Chase’s back and shoulders. He was careful, at first, around the marks and bruises on Chase’s back. Once again reminded he wanted to talk to Chase about it. Everytime felt like a weird time. He didn’t want to ruin the mood. He’d ask during the next day’s travels. They should be heading to the next park if he was right. As Chase did not seem to react any differently to the marks being touched over the rest of his back, Ben stopped being gentle and careful with them and treated it like it was the same as the rest.
Something about Ben's touch allowed Chase to relax. If it wasn't for the fact that he couldn't sleep, he would've been knocked out by now. His body felt like a puddle, melting at the water Ben handled his muscles. He didn't close his eyes though, he couldn't in this position and he knew that. He wanted to remember this moment as it was, not ruin it with panic.
Ben continued the massage until there was a knock on the door. He couldn’t do the trick with shadows that Chase had to pay the guy a tip. He also suddenly remembered his beetle and looked around to see if it had made it inside or if it was still in the jeep.
Chase groaned as the knock came in. ”Do you want to get it or should I?”
”I can, but I can’t do the cool shadow trick you did,” he said quietly, then louder. ”Be there in a moment.”
Chase closed his eyes for a moment, sensing around the shadows until he found what he wanted. Pulling money out of someone's wallet that was stashed away in their pocket. The cash appearing in his hand under the pillow. He pulled it out and handed the bills to Ben. ”All you had to do was ask.”
”Thanks.” Ben kissed the back of Chase’s head, and went to the door, opening it a crack. He slid the tip through. ”Thanks, sorry, just in a towel. I’ll grab the food, just leave it.”
”How quickly you learn.” Chase grinned as he moved to sit up. ”Need any help?”
”Should be good,” Ben grinned over his shoulder, he waited a moment for the hotel employee to leave, and then opened the door enough to grab the food, while keeping his modesty. He pulled the tray of food in and closed the door, heading over to the desk.
”A feast fit for a king. Or…two horny teens on an amazing week-long adventure.” Chase stood from the bed making his way over towards Ben, flipping open one of the boxes with his finger to see which was which. The scent of fresh made pizza was absolutely tantalizing. ”I could fuck both those up right now I wont lie.”
Ben snorted. ”As long as I get a few pieces.” He picked up one from the Margherita pizza, and started eating it. The sauce was perfect, and the cheese melty enough to make a good pull. He moaned in pleasure.
Chase snagged a piece of Ben's pizza, folding it slightly to make sure it keeps its shape as he removed it from the box. Morgan had warned him not to trash the room, otherwise he'd be grounded from stealing for a week. He took a bite and practically melted back into the bed. ”That's fire. Such a good call.”
”Pizza is basically always a good call,” Ben said through the bite he was chewing.
”Here I thought you guys only ate meat pies and Jammie Dodgers” Chase looked back over towards the window, realizing he left the bags and bug in the car. He dropped the pizza into the box and plopped onto the bed. ”Uuuggggh. I left them in the car. I was so excited to try one. You're noble steed is there too…”
Ben rolled his eyes at Chase’s joke. ”We are civilized, we have pizza. I can put on my trousers and go get them if you’re still wore out,” Ben offered.
Chase grinned at the word ‘trousers’. Ben truly was an honest to queen brit. ”Your trousers? Would you like a jumper as well? It's a bit nippy out.”
Ben gave Chase a flat look. ”Yes, actually I do, if you want me to get the stuff from the jeep.”
”Oh come on. Don't tell me I can't say that. I was just trying to play around. “
Ben stuck his tongue out at him. ”You can absolutely say whatever you like, as long as you aren’t making fun of me.”
”I would never. Tease, surely. But make fun of? No.”
Ben nodded, ”Do you want me to get the luggage still? Or are you getting it?” Ben asked.
Chase had once again found himself torn with indecision. He wanted to have Ben stay, grab the things for him so that he wouldn't make the walk alone, or abandon his presence. He also wanted to see Ben in his jumper again, the sight of which made him incredibly happy. He let out a groan, annoyed at his own indecision. ”Up to you, I can try and snag em back if you'd like or you can go grab them. I'm not exactly ready to put clothes back on just yet.”
”Go ahead and try. If it doesn't work I'll go get everything.” Ben was fine with either option. He did lean toward, not having to leave the room, over getting dressed again and being out in the cold.
”Easy peasy. Anything for my little Bed Bug.” Chase tried to call on the shadows, then again, neither time claiming any purchase on them. He laughed awkwardly as he sat back up and grabbed another slice of pizza. Maybe he just needed fuel? Maybe he was exhausted, or maybe he just needed to actually concentrate on what he was doing more and less on what he was looking at in front of him.
He took a deep breath in, exhaling slowly as he closed his eyes, the room began to darken as the shadows danced across the walls. After a moment, the bug had appeared on the TV counter, then shortly after the bags by the chair. Chase's shoulders slumped, having not realized how tense he was trying to call upon them. Ben really was testing his limits to his powers, though not that he knew of because Chase refused to try and let it show. He took another bite of pizza before using the slice to point towards the beetle. ”Your steed my lord.” He spoke with a mouthful of pizza.
Ben waited as Chase tried to call for their things from the jeep. He frowned and chewed on his lip. Chase had been relaxed. Ben had spent time working on his shoulders and back and for a moment it tensed up. That Ben could chalk up to using the powers. He hadn’t spent a lot of time studying Chase when he used the shadows. What concerned him was the sweat that beaded on his brow and how labored his breathing got. It wasn’t bad, not even as heavy as it had gotten while they had had their snowball fight, or the sword fight, but it was more than he had had previously.
”Thank you.” Ben paused, deciding if he should address it. ”You okay? You seem a bit gassed?”
Chase furrowed his eyebrows, trying to figure out what in the queens name Ben had just asked him. He didn't want to outright say he didn't understand, but also didn't want to answer for the sake of answering. Finally he let out a sigh. ”Benny, Babe, help me out here. What're you asking me?”
”Are you okay? You seem... tired.”
”I always seem tired. Kinda came with the package.” Chase avoided the question while pointing to the dark circles under his eyes.
Ben tilted his head, ”I thought that was just an aesthetic change.” Ben only knew of one of Chase’s powers. Did he have a second one?
”Well, yeah? But it makes me look tired, or at least people assume I do. Get lots of comments on if I slept ok or need face routine tips. It's…taxing.” Chase rolled his eyes before taking another bite.
”Alright, but I mean you seem more tired than usual. Do you need a break? We could skip a park and spend more time relaxing?” Ben suggested.
Chase was silent for a moment. His eyes tearing away from Ben's as he decided his slice of pizza was far more interesting at the moment. He felt…seen. He hated it. The idea that someone was actively paying attention to him. After some time he finally spoke. ”I'm fine. I'll be able to rest tonight when we sleep and on the drive to the next park. So no worrying about me ok?”
Ben hummed a little, as if he didn’t entirely believe Chase, but he decided to trust that Chase was being honest. He picked up his half eaten piece of pizza, ”I will in fact worry about you. No escaping that. However, don’t push yourself though. We don’t have to do the jumps. As long as we make stops so I don’t claw at the walls of the Jeep. Agree?” He bit into his pizza and watched Chase, waiting for his response.
”Yeah yeah, don't get your knickers in a twist. I'm being mindful ok?” His tone was dismissive, though the smile on his face said otherwise. Chase pushed Ben's arm slightly before rolling his eyes again and going to eat his food.
Ben smiled, having ‘won.’ He bumped Chase back, and started to devour his dinner.
”Mines rooms first off but I understand wanting to change. How's about this? We all get ourselves out of these wet clothes and dirtied shoes and meet up at mine. Doors always open, so just walk in when you're ok? Chances are I'll be changed before you two.” Sam held his shoes in his hand, having no one to take his other or his arm he simply followed behind the pair like an unwanted third wheel. Once they got to the top of the steps he stopped by his door, the first one on the right as one came up. ”This is me. See you two in a bit ok?”
Sam smiled at the pair, almost certain they would both be changing together in some fashion or another. Either that or exchange more whispered secrets between each other as untrusting others seemed to be a hobby they both shared. He desperately wanted to know what Tony's message had meant, what did Tony know that needed to be kept secret beyond his own ‘blackmail’? All these thoughts ran through his mind as he changed out of his clothes and into a new pair of jeans and a shirt simply. He hadn't bothered with new shoes, they were indoors, socks should be fine. He did go into his bathroom to fix up his hair a bit before finally sitting on his bed and waiting patiently.
Ben's uncle Matt had been happy to see that Ben had two more new friends. He was glad that there were people Ben could skate with. Ben had also texted Danni and told him about the chance meeting.
With school weeks out still even after the New Year had been celebrated Ben wanted to go traveling. Chase had offered and so Ben spent almost two days convincing his uncle it would in fact be fine. Matt had to meet Chase, but he would eventually cave and let the pair of them go. As long as Matt was kept apprised of where they were. He required a minimum of two texts a day and a phone call every other day. Ben's location sharing also had to be on. When they changed locations Matt had to be informed immediately, this did not count as one of the two text messages. If Matt sent a text with a question it had to be responded to ASAP, this also did not count as one of the two text messages.
Ben also had to be back at least three days before the start of term. Matt wanted to say a whole week, but decided that wouldn't give them enough time.
When all of this had finally been agreed upon Ben sent Chase a text to let him know.
“my uncle agreed! I can go camping.”
Seven days. Seven whole days that felt like an eternity to Chase as Ben attempted to convince his father about the trip. Chase's parents were easy, Morgan saw into the future and even helped him choose which car to steal. He'd wanted something cool and impressive for Ben, but Morgan insisted on another vehicle entirely that, while it had its own flair for style, wasn't exactly what he had in mind for such a long trip. But the discussion was over when Morgan used her sight and said he'd have more fun with this beat up, blue jeep that had mishmashed black parts atop it. The gas would be astronomical, but with his parents' work it wouldn't be a huge issue. His bag had already been packed, alongside a backpack filled with things he wasn't sure if Ben would or wouldn't like. He was nervous, it felt stupid, but he'd never been alone with a guy like this before, not since…he pushed that aside.
He'd already met his father, that felt wild but necessary. His phone buzzed, and as he looked at the text, he threw his phone into the bed and fist pumped into the air. ”Yes!” He knew, he always knew, he pestered Morgan to tell him the outcome every day and he was so happy when she'd finally said yes. But hearing it from Ben? So much better! ”Shit. Fuck, where did I throw my phone? I gotta text him back.” Chase dug through his sheets, tossing and turning them until he heard a thunk behind him. He scrambled over to the phone and began texting back.
”Sweet. Get packin’ Big Ben for our cross country(ish) vacation.”
Ben grinned at the response. He yelled at Matt that he was going to pack, Matt yelled back to take a shower. Ben already had, yesterday, why did he have to take another? He sent a text to Danni letting him know he had finally gotten permission for the trip. [see: The text log of Benjamin Moss & Danni Kingston]
He started packing and throwing stuff into a duffle. Matt eventually came in and handed him a toiletries bag for camping. The soap was nature safe. Ben rolled his eyes and threw it into the bag.
Once he was finished he texted Chase “ready!”
Chase grabbed his bags, tossing them into the shadows of his room and having them appear in the Jeep that was waiting outside. All that was left was to get Ben. ”Heading out! Be back in a while!” Jinx and Morgan responded back with a unanimous ‘We Know’ as Chase slipped into the shadows and appeared within Ben's room under his covers before tossing them halfway off of himself. ”Someone say they're ready?” He rolled out of the bed and gave Ben a quick hug before moving to hold his hand for a teleport back home. ”Shit, wait. Hi Mr.Moss! Ben and I are gonna go now ok?”
”Yes.” Ben hugged back, he was excited to get going.
”Knock on the door kid. Just because you have superpowers doesn't mean you don't have to use manners," Matt said, poking his head out of his office. Ben rolled his eyes.
”Sorry, he’s being weird.” Ben apologized for Matt insisting that Chase come through the front door.
”No he's right. If im gonna take my Big Ben out on a tour of the parks I need to do it all proper like.” Chase said as he laced his fingers through Ben's and used the shadows to pop them at the front door of Matt's house, knocking.
Matt answered the door and held out his hand for Chase to shake. ”Thank you. You two be safe. Alright. Keep in touch. If anything goes wrong let me know immediately.”
”Yeah, I’ll text you when the bear is chasing us.” Ben sighed.
Matt frowned, shook his head and said, ”Have fun. I know you’ll be looking at cool bugs so send me pictures of those.”
”Yeah, I will. I promise. I’ll follow all the rules you set down too. I swear.”
”Good, go ahead and go.”
Chase shook Matt's hand as soon as it was offered, glad that they were finally about to be on their way. ”Thank you Mr. Moss! I'll take good care of him I swear, and the bear isn't scheduled for at least three days at 11:30 am so I'll snap a Pic of it for Ben to share.” Instantly shadows began to wrap around the pair before they stopped. ”Wait, your bags.”
”Oops,” Ben said, and ducked under Matt down the hall into his room where he grabbed his bag and then rejoined Chase at the front door. ”Alright, ready. Bye Uncle Matt.” He waved at Matt before holding out that hand for Chase. He wasn’t sure if touch was required for Chase’s shadow movement to work or not, but so far he had touched him to use it.
Chase took the offered hand before both of them melted into the shadows and appeared within the Jeep, all stocked up and ready to go. ”You sure like holding my hand huh Big Ben?” He teased as he looked down at their interlocked hands before slipping his away to hot wire the car. One of the few tricks his new rents had shown him in case of a needed getaway.
”I-i-i thought you needed to touch to do the shadow transport thing,” Ben stammered. He hadn’t expected a car. He honestly wasn’t 100% sure what he had expected. The jeep was cool.
”So where to first?” Ben asked after clearing his throat.
”Chill chill, its no worries really. Hakuna your tata's and all that. I don't mind holding your hand. It's …nice.” Chase cleared his throat. ”But no, so long as we have shadows we have travel. No touch needed but it isn't unwanted. I just…needed…to–” The Jeep sprang to life, turning over as Chase threw his hands up. ”Voila I'm a genius. There's a map in the glove compartment marking all the locations. I'll need help guiding where to go.”
Ben opened the glove compartment and pulled out the map. He was a little surprised at a paper map. It felt old school. Usually people just use their phone. He looked at it figuring out where they were going.
”The first stop is Death Valley. That’s not too bad.” Ben had been looking at maps of National Parks for the last week. Death Valley was considered a nice weekend trip for L.A. He started to give directions.
Chase looked over at the map, silently counting to himself as he realized how many cities were between him and the first National Park. Were there closer parks? Yes. But did Ben deserve to see as many as he could in a timely manner? Also yes. He placed his left hand onto Ben's lap as he turned and rummaged for his backpack in the back seat, pulling out two National Park Passport's as well as their America the Beautiful passes for the trip. ”OK, so it'll be about a four hour drive there. I can try and jump us but its a huge distance and with the car I'd shave off at most half an hour to an hour tops. So we may just be driving for a bit, but it did get these passports for us! You collect stamps at each location with dates on them to mark and show when you went. Like a keepsake.” Instantly the nerves came tumbling back into Chase. ”Unless it's lame. We can just not do that part.”
Ben squeezed Chase’s hand, he didn’t mind holding hands. ”Wait, how long is this drive?” Ben asked. He knew the United States was big, but he had never been in the car for more than an hour at one time. If the shadow jumps were only shaving off an hour at best...
He looked at the stamp passports and flipped through them. ”Not gonna lie, this is actually kind of cool.”
Chase grinned, beaming from ear to ear as Ben squeezed his hand and then agreed on how cool the stamps could be. ”Roughly four hours, so not really too bad of a drive. Why?”
”Four hours? In a car, at one time? How big is this place? I don’t think I have ever been in a car for more than an hour before coming here.” Ben takes a deep breath. ”It’ll be fine. Don’t stress yourself out. Let’s do this the right way. We can make it fun... Right?”
”Hey, woah, Benny Boi, what's wrong?” Chase had sat back in his seat appropriately, turning to face Ben as he held one of his hands with both of his. ”Cali is absolutely massive. It takes almost a full day just to drive from one point to another at times. I can…try and do more jumps, it'll put us an hour out at best.”
”I’m from London. I can take a train and be in France in four hours.” Ben sighed and squeezed Chase’s hand, ”Alright how about this. Every hour we stop and just pull over for ten minutes. I don’t care if it takes us more time. I just cannot imagine sitting in a car for an hour without stopping.”
”OK. That would put us at roughly forty minutes extra and with my jumps I can shave about forty minutes sooo really it wouldn't take us any extra time to make it there. See? Not an issue Big Ben. I've got you.” Chase gave Ben's hand another squeeze before placing them onto the steering wheel. ”Set a timer for our breaks ok? Oh, and feel free to select the jams for the trip.”
Ben nodded. That was workable. They could do that. He’d be fine. He would not get bored, he would get out and move occasionally. It would in fact be fine. He pulled out his phone and plugged it into the stereo. Once he was connected he pulled up a playlist he had been working on. He didn’t know what sort of music Chase liked. But he had made a music list that was comprised of bands and artists that were from London. Ben liked music a lot and so listened to basically everything. The music was mostly from the dance and house genre. He also set a timer for an hour.
”Thanks sorry. About that. I just am not used to long drives. Back home we consider anything over like twenty minutes a long drive. And most of the time I took the train or the bus. I’ve never spent a lot of time in the car. I’m glad this is open like this though. It is less claustrophobic.”
Chase started the drive as Ben set up the music for them. He knew the general direction of where he wanted to go, there was a tunnel up ahead that would make the jump easier for him. He needed shadows, and a lot of them if they were going to move the car. He looked over towards the stereo and back at Ben, nodding his head along to the music. ”Ok, ok. I can dig it. And man, twenty minutes? That barely gets you out of a city here.”
”Island country.” Ben shrugged. ”Glad you like the music. This isn’t the only thing I like, but I feel like if you don’t start with the weird stuff first people will assume you’re normal. If they assume you’re normal they’ll freak out when they realize you aren’t.”
”Did you, Bug Boi Big Ben, think I was going to assume you were normal? You have posters of bugs and diagrams along your wall, a ton of open terrariums, and your very own kettle. None of that is exactly normal. But it does make you cool, so…” They were pulling up on the tunnel, Chase sped up a bit, and as they hit the wall of darkness they vanished. The Jeep appeared a full city out, in the outskirts of theirs at another tunnel way. Chase threw his head back against the headrest and exhaled. ”Much harder with a car. Wow.”
Ben looked affronted, but only when the kettle was mentioned. ”Having a kettle is normal. I like tea. I don’t want to always have to wait in the kitchen.” He looked Chase over carefully. ”You okay? Not too much right?” He didn’t know how much it took out of Chase to jump like that. He basically just talked to bugs and that didn’t take any work.
”Yeah I'm fine. Next jump won't be for a bit I figure so, go big or go home.” Chase took one hand off the steering wheel, moving it towards Ben's lap but stopping just over the bottle of water in the cup holder. He'd never actually been with a guy, liked a guy, or well…allowed himself to like one. This was new territory and part of him was terrified about it. He grabbed the bottle, unscrewing the cap with one hand as he took a sip and placed it back down. Coward. ”A kettle sure, but in your room? Is there even tea in your room? Or cups?”
”Okay good.” Ben trusted that Chase knew his own powers and limitations, even if he was new at it. There was an internal sense of it, right? He didn’t really notice Chase’s awkwardness or the movement. Especially once he grabbed the water bottle.
”Tea yes. Cups... No. Matt took them. I had a perfectly serviceable cup.” Ben was not thinking about relationships or liking Chase (or Danni) any differently than his friends. Chase had put the idea in his head with his first text, but he had no idea how to approach that. He didn’t mind holding hands or hugs. Hugs had been common in his friend group back home. Holding hands, less so, but they had been a chummy group. Not as cuddly as Danni and Dorian were, but close enough that Ben didn’t really consider that an automatic ‘relationship’ establishment.
”What does that even mean? Perfectly serviceable?” Chase raised an eyebrow at Ben.
”When you have a tea cup for a long time it gets this nice patina. I had one of those. Matt put it through the dishwasher!” He threw up his hands.
”The nerve! You can't go throwing other people's things where you want to. Just isn't right.” Chase threw up his free hand alongside Ben. He glanced over back at Ben, it'd been a while since he felt like this with anyone, not just the odd queer emotions bubbling inside of him, but the sense of friendship as well. His last one ended so horribly, his fault if he was ever honest with himself, and the others he'd made were superficial at best. But this? It felt…good. ”OK govna, how do you take your tea? What kind do you prefer? Aaaand…have you had American sweet tea?”
Ben laughed when Chase threw up his hand too. It was a sign of comradery and it meant a lot to him. He was still grinning.
”Okay, there are only like two teas worth while. English Breakfast and Earl Grey.” He held up two fingers. ”Otherwise you’re just being weird and zealous about something that has been perfected already. I mean sure there are like ten million teas, but why when the perfect ones have already been found and you know exactly how much milk and sugar to put into each, which by the way it is two sugars and then about two table spoons of milk. More than that is wild.” Ben spoke emphatically.
”Oh god, what atrocity have the Americans brought to my door step this time?” Ben asked, slight horror in his voice, but also a joking tone. He was clearly being silly.
”Now we have to get some Sweet Tea. You'll hate it. It's a black tea, steeped, about…one pound of sugar per two liters? And then iced. Absolutely amazing, some people put lemon in it but eh not my…well cup of tea” Chase laughed at his own joke. ”But I agree, those two are the best choices for hot tea, never really measured how much sugar or milk it's more of a vibe thing.”
Ben looked like someone had kicked his puppy as the ‘American sweet tea’ was described to him.
”That sounds like it’ll kill a honey bee.” He made a small gagging noise. ”I’ll try it, but that means you have to try something I suggest. Like jammie dodgers. My uncle likes those so he ships them in from the UK specifically. Thank god. I think I’d die if I didn’t have some comfort things from home.”
”You can't be serious? There's no way you have something called a Jammie Dodger. It sounds fake.” Chase tried making the mood a tad lighter. He understood that Ben would want or need some home comforts. ”But that sounds like a deal. You try sweet tea, I'll try your jammie's.”
”It’s a biscuit or cookie or whatever.” Ben laughed. The pair chatted and traveled for a while longer. They talked about food, and music and whatever random thing came up. Finally the alarm blared for the one hour mark. As far as Ben was concerned it had been longer than an hour. He was ready to get out of the car. As soon as Chase pulled over he hopped out of the car and did some stretches.
First Round of Breaks
”Do Americans just sit in the car all the time? And drive everywhere?” He asked as he bounced on the balls of his feet.
”Depends on where you live but…mostly yeah. Our trains are trash in terms of how far along other places are and public transit isn't great. So cars it is. I used to just read or take naps when I was younger, sometimes game on a handheld or just wear headphones to listen to my own music.” Chase neglected to mention all of those activities were to distract himself from the broken home and parents he was trapped in the car with. He walked over towards Ben, mimicking the stretches he was doing. ”So does this help?”
”L.A. is super car dense. I don’t understand why either. You weren’t even a country when cars started to become popular. It isn’t like you built up around cars... Or I suppose you did. But there were trains right? Like the Oregon train or whatever?” Ben was not certain about US history. He knew cars had been made in the US and the Ford had something to do with making them accessible but that was after the Civil War, right?
”I have no idea. It has reduced my need to move.” Ben was still bouncing as he said this.
Chase leaned against the Jeep as he watched Ben continue. Something about it was just so…adorable. Maybe it was the accent? The curly dark hair, or how he seemed to be so unashamedly himself. Perhaps it was all of the above and the fact that it all reminded him of the Stories of Arthur and his Knights. He rolled his eyes at the thought. ”I think you mean Oregon Trail, which all I really knew about it was the game. Never cared much for history though.”
”I know plenty of history. It just isn’t distorted American history.” He grinned. Ben was slightly out of breath now from the bouncing. ”Instead it is distorted Eurocentric history.” Ben tilted his head a little bit. ”There is a game? How do you make a game about crossing the country?”
”Poorly. You just make choices and no matter what you do you die in the end by dysentery or something else.” Chase grinned back. ”Don't tell me you tire easy Big Ben? Gotta get that stamina up.” He teased and instantly regretted it.
”Uh...” Ben was suddenly glad he was probably already red in the face from the bouncing. He didn’t even know how to start to respond to that. He coughed, and stopped bouncing. Ben didn’t know what to say about Chase’s joke. He focused on the Oregon Trail game.
”So is the point of the game to just die then? Like who dies faster?”
Chase, if he could gain any color to his face, would've been red. He coughed as well, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared up at the clear blue sky. ”Its to uh…its to survive. Just like I'm trying to survive having said that oh my god. I just, sometimes I speak and I don't think and I just…I need water.” He opened up the passenger door and grabbed his bottle as he leaned over the seat.
Ben rubbed his face. He didn’t really know how to respond to this. Ignoring it hadn’t worked.
”It was weird, it is fine. Everyone says weird shit all the time. Right? Here hand me a water too. I’m thirsty now.”
Chase handed Ben a water, closing the door behind him as he leaned back against the car. ”Thanks, I…truthfully I've never been with a guy, you know? Just…I had a lot of issues and well, some therapy cleared a few up, left a few in, but one of them was coming to terms with me liking guys so…it feels weird and I act stupid because I don't even know how to act. It's dumb, I know.”
Ben sipped his water. He considered what to say. He didn’t want to be outright dismissive. Chase was being honest about his feelings and he knew he didn’t like it when people belittled his feelings so he didn’t want to do that to Chase.
”I don’t really know either. I’ve never been with anyone at all. You’re cool. I like hanging out with you. It isn’t always awkward or weird. I don’t know for me. I don’t know if I like you, or anyone that way.”
The words almost hurt, but Chase knew he wasn't trying to dismiss his feelings. He knew Ben hadn't been in any relationships before, and that was fine. ”I like hanging out with you too. You're surprisingly cool Bug Boi.”
”Good, cause this would be really weird if you didn’t like hanging out with me.” Ben rolled his eyes. He didn’t even mind the nickname so much. It had kind of grown on him.
”Alright, I’m ready to be in the car again. I suppose.”
Chase opened the passenger door for Ben, bowing slightly as he did. ”Your chariot awaits you my good sir.”
Ben giggled... he actually giggled. ”Thank you,” he said climbing into the jeep again.
Chase wanted to die. That was so cute what the fuck. He closed the door after Ben got in and practically bit his fist to stop himself from screaming. This kid was a problem, an adorably cute problem. He got into his side of the car and put his seat belt back on. ”Eh, I've been on road trips where no one liked each other. I think it may very well be an American pastime.” His tone was almost wistful. Before he took the car out of park and began their trek once more towards the great American outdoors.
”I think I would go insane if I were in a car with someone I didn’t like.” One of Ben’s feet tapped to the beat of the music once that was playing again.
”How many road trips have you been on?”
”Five? I think, I don't really have many fond memories of them. The places were cool, drives were…ok, company not great. But this one's already much better and we haven't even made it to our destination yet.” His fingers tapped along the steering wheel to the beat of Ben's feet. ”What about you? Any road trips in Big Ben's life? Always wanted to visit England, mostly the Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire, and a little bit of France.”
”Travel, yeah. I’ve been around a few places. Even to France. But road trips implies cars and other than country side where there isn’t any train service I haven’t spent a ton of time in a car. Even then we were doing shorter trips. My parents and I rode the train a lot though. And my mates. We would take the tube to school, or around town. I think the fact that I was fairly unsupervised already is why Matt allowed this. It is more common back home.”
” Have you been to Château de Pierrefonds in France?” Chase raised an eyebrow as he glanced to Ben, trying to keep his eye on the road.
”Yeah, my mom was really into this old t.v. show called Highlander. Some of the scenes from it were filmed there.” He shrugged. He remembered the visit, but it had been a few years ago so it wasn't a super clear memory. He did remember his mom spending a wild amount of time in one room during the tour. He had gotten bored. His dad had been smiling indulgently. It had been kind of weird.
Chase almost slammed on the breaks as Ben said he had been. ”Thay is like, one of my top locations to visit! No way. Awe man you're so lucky, I fell down a rabbit hole one day and stumbled on this old junky show with such bad CGI it was absolutely laughable but…it was also super cool. It was about Merlin and his journey in the attempt to get King Arthur, who was just a prince at the time, to become the Once and Future King of Camelot. Anyways, they filmed at that castle as The Camelot so –” He was rambling. Chase cleared his throat briefly before taking another sip. ”Anyways, thats cool you got to visit.”
Ben knew the myth of King Arthur. You couldn’t grow up in Britain and not have heard it. He hadn’t seen the show.
”It was cool I guess.” Talking about the trip made him think about his parents. He didn’t really want to do that. ”Tell me more about the show.”
A smile crept up at the corner of Chase's mouth. ”Ok so there's Merlin right? Except he's down right twinky and in almost a teenage type age range. So he ends up…” He continued to tell the tale of the young Warlock, Merlin, known to the druids as Emrys, and his journey to save Camelot and the choices he'd made. This went on for the whole hour before Chase had finally pulled them into a gas station to grab some snacks for the road and stretch their legs. ...but really it was a queer allegory and the hidden magic inside was akin to homosexual feelings.”
The gas station was a Sinclair station. Ben had been listening attentively, as best as he could, to Chase’s story about the show. Texts to Danni aside. He had asked questions and made surprise noises at all the right times.
”What!? This petrol station has a dinosaur! That’s got to be some weird way of saying ‘hey we use fossil fuels.’ I’ve got to get a picture with it.” Ben bounced out of the car and ran over to the giant green dinosaur. He snapped a selfie and ran back to meet Chase at the entrance to the station.
”Are you peckish? I am.”
”Texting the Old Man?” Chase assumed given the many rules Mr. Moss had given them. He stretched for a bit as he answered Ben's question. ”What's that about a peck? Like you want a snog or somethin? Oh! We should take a selfie together with the Dino if you want. Print them out later and add it to the passport.”
”My friend, Danni. I'll introduce you two at school,” Ben shook his head. He hoped Chase wouldn't be annoyed. Sometimes his friends got mad when someone was texting someone else not there. He sort of got it. But also if wanted to talk to Danni too was that a problem?
”Peckish means hungry.” This part of the conversation made Ben a little nervous. Did he want to snog? His hands itched.
”Ooh yeah good idea. I'll send that to Matt too.” Matt would appreciate it.
Ooooook. No snogging it was then. That was fine. ”Oh. Yeah ok cool. Just…texting another guy while you're with me, that's totally fine.” Chase’s tone implied otherwise, as if he was hurt, but with an underlying layer of sarcasm to it which made it all the harder to read if he was or wasn't. He made his way over towards the giant green dinosaur and tried shifting a few shadows to make the light better for the picture. ”You coming?”
Shit. Chase was annoyed. Ben wiped his hands on his pants and joined Chase by the dinosaur. He smiled and took a picture of the two them. He showed it to Chase.
”Are you actually mad?” He asks in a quiet nervous voice.
Chase rolled his eyes, pulling Ben in for a gentle hug before kissing the top of his head. ”No Bug Boi, I'm not mad. You're allowed to have other friends beyond me, even if it is a guy. Is he at least cute?” He asked as he grabbed the phone to look at the picture of them two. ”Hey, we look good together. Love it.” Chase quickly backed out of the picture and into Ben's texts to see what this Danni looked like. He was…cute. That was annoying. Chase handed the phone back to Ben.
Ben sighed, relieved. He didn't need both of his friends mad at him. He hugged Chase back, his face warm.
”I canceled plans with him for this trip. He was supposed to come over and cook. He was so upset. But I didn't want to miss out on this.”
Chase pulled back enough that he could see Ben's, but he kept an arm wrapped around him. It felt…right. He hated that it felt right. But his heart was beating a mile a minute. ”Dude. Not cool. But…kinda glad you did. And he's cute so, I get it. The texting, the distractions, I mean I'm not much to look at.” He joked half heartedly. ”Gotta make it up to him. Oh, maybe we can all have dinner together some day? I can get to know him and he me, so you don't feel so pulled apart.”
Ben smiled. ”I like looking at you.” He swallowed and cleared his throat. ”Yeah, we should totally do that. After school starts?”
Ben didn't pull away from the arm. His face felt warm. His stomach was tight and he was still hungry.
”Snacks?”
Chase wanted to say ‘I'm looking at one right now.’ But what came out was ”Snacks.” He let his arm drop off from Ben's waist, his hand naturally falling to lace his fingers with Ben's without thinking. As they walked into the station, he looked ahead, glancing to the side towards Ben from time to time trying to think of how to word this. ”So, Danni. He looks an awful lot like that Kingston Kitchen dude, the one who does a lot of outrageous food along with some SoCo.”
”SoCo? But yeah. He is the one who almost burned me at the Contest. We ran into each other again at the market the other day. He said he did a cooking show and that is what he was shopping for. I think that's who you mean.” If Ben remembered Danni's last name he didn't seem to connect the dots. He held hands with Chase as they went into the store.
Ben looked at the isles and didn't know where to start. He did not have a lot of experience with American snacks.
”What's good?”
”SoCo is southern comfort food.” He snapped his fingers on his free hand as Ben mentioned the almost charbroiled Ben from the Contest. ”That's why he seemed so familiar. Man, I'd kill to try his food. It always looks so good.” He browsed the shop, some of the snacks having vanished from the back shelves as he made a mental list of what he wanted. ”Well you mentioned biscuits or cookies or whatever earlier. So Oreos are a must, that and Chips Ahoy, Blue package not Red. It matters. Lets see, there's Snickers, 3 Muskateers, Oooo! Penguins, a must. Some Slim Jims…you eat meat right? Gotta get the Monster size with Tabasco. Oh maybe some chips? Or uh…shit, Crispies?”
”Biscuits,” Ben pointed to the cookies. ”Crisps,” this time he pointed to the chips. ”Chips are your French fries. Yeah I eat meat. Is this meat?” He holds up the stick of jerky.
”I said I'd let you choose. I will trust.”
”Yeah but I wouldn’t get Jerky. I mean technically its a great trip and hiking food but man it's tiring to chew. I prefer these.” Chase grabbed the Tabasco Monster Slim Jim. ”Basically just a cured meat stick.” He grabbed a couple of them as well as a two purple bags of Doritos, the two types of ‘biscuits’, some penguins and a few drinks. It seemed as though he only grabbed two of each, but about four more of each product was teleported into the backseat of the Jeep under the bags. ”Ready?”
”Yeah looks... interesting.” Ben wasn't sure if good was the right word. So he wasn't willing to say it yet. Ben was excited to try the new foods. He just was nervous about them. Ben hadn't eaten a lot of spicy foods. He sometimes got curry but that was never spicy.
Chase paid for what was in his hands, taking the bag and receipt with him as he made his way back into the Jeep, once again opening the door for Ben. ”Welcome to America, land of sugar and meat and sometimes sugary meat.” He joked.
Ben laughed and hopped into the jeep. ”Thanks. How does that even work? It says it is spicy. How is it also sugary? Where do I even start with these snacks?
”Oh I was referring to BBQ which is Sweet, Spicy, and Savory all in one bite. Nothing like what you have back across the pond.” Chase grabbed the slim jim and tore off the top, taking a bite of it before offering a bite to Ben..
Ben bit into the offered stick of meat. The spicy hit quickly and he felt the inside of his ears becoming itchy. He hissed air in between his teeth, even though it was spicy and not temperature hot.
”Oh my god. What in the world?” He fanned his face and took a quick sip of his water. He coughed for a moment.
Chase smiled. This boy was dangerous. Cute and couldn't even handle the lowest tolerance of spice. He looked positively adorable as tried to fan away the heat from the Slim Jim. A thought crossed his mind. Kiss the pain away. His eyes widened for a second as he surprised himself with the thought, catching his gaze looking down at Ben's lips before taking another bite of the Slim Jim. ”Doin' ok buddy? Might need to build up that tolerance a bit.”
”That was too much.” Ben's eyes weren't quite watering, but he wiped at them still. ”It made the inside of my ears itch. Is that normal?”
He did not notice the looks. He was distracted with his own suffering.
”Never met anyone that couldn't handle it.” Chase took another bite before tilting it to offer another to Ben.
Ben looked at the slim jim a little sullenly. Then he took another bite. He had the same reaction again and sipped at his water.
”People enjoy doing this to themselves?
Chase couldn't help but giggle at the reaction. He hadn't expected for Ben to take another bite, but the fact that he had meant worlds to him. ”You get used to it after a while. That's when you can start focusing on the complex flavors that shine through from the spices.” The thought from before snaked its way back to the forefront of his mind. This time with the added prop of a Slim Jim acting as a stand in for the Pockey Game. ”Crisps are also spicy by the way. They're sweet too, but it's a mixed bag so you won't know which crisp is which till you eat it. I…didnt know you couldn't do spice, sorry.”
”That sounds... dangerous. It's fine. I'll try it. I said I would and I will. I might be drinking a lot of water to wash it down though.” Ben laughed at his own suffering.
”What can I say? I like a little danger, brings some adventure into life.”
Death Valley
After only a couple more hours, and another jump to help speed them along, they had made it out to California's very own Death Valley National Park. Chase pulled them into the Furnace Creek Visitor Center. The place looked dated, but was necessary for both the stamps they wanted to collect, the driving maps they'll need, a Nat Geo Map package, and the pretty dope museum tucked away inside of it. It showcased some of the landscape, how the area worked, as well as some wildlife they may be able to find. Chase pulled out a small moleskin journal he had been writing in the seven days prior to this trip.
”So I read online that there are several species of blister beetles that we may be able to find around this area. There's some stink bugs, some little round dudes who's names are wild, an ironclad beetle, armored stink beetles, sooo many cool dragonflies like a flame skimmer or vivid dancer to name a couple, there's an ornate checkered beetle, and the most obvious the Death Valley June Beetle. There's a ton more too, thought maybe we can try and identify them?”
Ben enjoyed the time, even if he was a bit antsy about being in the car the whole time. He was glad that Chase had agreed to stopping. He would have been chewing his nails off if he had to sit in the car the whole time.
Arriving at the park was beautiful. Ben couldn’t help but sit up and look around. The place was gorgeous. He was excited to see what types of bugs there would be. When Chase started telling him about them Ben’s eyes went wide with surprise.
”I... Thank you. That’s really cool of you to look that up.” They were absolutely going to meet all the cool bugs here. So many beetles. ”Did you know that mammals are only like 14% of the life on the planet? Almost everything else is insects and of those most of the insects are beetles.”
Chase paused for a moment as he was wandering the museum within. ”Wait, really? I feel like I never see beetles though. Then again I'm not usually in locations that would have beetles just running around. Not unless it's a science center or something.” He handed the book over to Ben so he could read up on all the various bugs he researched for this particular National Park. ”Don't sweat it Bug Boi, your interests are my interests. Otherwise this wouldn't be nearly as fun for you. Besides, your cute face when you get excited is all the repayment I need.” Chase placed a baseball cap atop Ben's head.
”They are there, you just don’t see them. They live in grass and weeds and the walls.” Ben was excited. He bumped Chase lightly with his shoulder. ”Still a cool thing to do. Most of my mates back home weren’t super interested in bugs. They liked them as much as they could bother the girls on the play yard.” Ben took the cap off to look at it, then put it back on.
Ben had been a little sad when Danni said he didn’t like museums. So it was a relief that Chase seemed cool about them. Ben liked science. He liked science and nature museums. It was essentially what he wanted to do with his life. He had a couple possible paths in mind for the future. Entomologist, Insect repellent business, or Superhero. He had the least hope in Superhero. Wanted to the Entomologist the most. Would be happy with a little business that helped bugs and people out.
”That's…horrifying. Especially the idea of Ear Worms. I don't like the concept of something wriggling inside of my head like that.” Chase visibly shuddered. ”But beetles, they're cool. Like those Rhino Beetles? Dope!” Chase held Ben's hand and walked them over towards the stamping location, making sure the date was correct before handing a stamp to Ben. ”Ready for our first stamp?”
”I don’t know as much about worms. I don’t think Ear Worms are a real creature.” That did make him think of Earwigs though. ”Good news though is that earwigs don’t actually do that.”
”Yeah!” Letting go of Chase’s hand felt... weird. He didn’t really want to. But the stamp! Ben took the stamp and opened his booklet. He found the Death Valley page and stamped it. He handed the stamp back to Chase.
”Right, that's what I meant. Earwigs. Glad to know they don't do that though.” Chase exhaled with relief. He grabbed the stamp from Ben, pressing it into fresh ink as he flipped the book open with his other hand, and then pressed the stamp against Ben's cheek. ”Ope. Hand slipped, guess you'll be my souvenir this trip.” He chuckled before actually stamping his book.
Ben pulled back from the stamp too late. He wiped at his cheek, but was laughing. ”Hold on. Picture of this!” He pulled out his phone and took a quick selfie of his face. Then a photo of both of them next to the stamp station.
Chase’s face was absolutely bright with joy. If you ignored his extremely pale skin and dark circles under his eyes. As the picture was about to be taken, he pulled Ben even closer to him in the hug. ”What its a good look on you!” He said with a giggle as he went to see if Ben would take his hand again or if those pictures needed to be texted out first. ”Alright, we got our trails, maps, water, snacks, the weather is beautiful and we have a destination to catch!”
Ben sent the photo of the pair of them to his uncle, then quickly slid the phone into his pocket. Matt would appreciate that the two of them were in the place he told him they were going. This picture was perfect proof of that. Once his phone was back in his pocket he took Chase’s hand again, almost reflexively.
”Yes, I absolutely am ready. Also... beetles!”
It was a short walk, close to half an hour out from the parking lot of the Visitors Center when they came across their first view. The mountains in the distance reflected off the thin layer of water, the usual heat of Death Valley muted by recent rain. A few birds and numerous insects skimmed across the surface and sipped at the water before chasing each other in lazy circles that followed the rising heat current up and out of sight. They had reached the Badwater Basin, and it was breathtaking.
”Holy shit…”
Ben looked at everything. He loved the view, and the birds, and especially the bugs. The view was amazing. He nodded with Chase’s exclamation. Then holding out his hand a passing dragon fly shifted its trajectory and landed on his hand. Ben grinned.
”This is a variegated meadowhawk,” Ben told Chase. ”See the banded coloring on its body.” Ben lifted the dragon fly so Chase could see it better.
”Hey little one. I bet you’re happy right now. Everything is so beautiful here. This has got to be the best life.”
Chase leaned in closer and stared at the dragonfly before him, then focused past it onto Ben's face. ”It really is the best life huh?” He pulled out his phone, taking a close up pic of the bug and then zooming out further to take one of Ben with it on his finger.
Ben smiled for the photo and then let the dragon fly away.
”Huh, if I wanted I guess I could get into insect photography. I’d always have perfect models.” He laughed. ”You have to send me those pictures okay.”
Ben looked over the scene again, for him, it was loud. There was the noise of insects for normal hearing, but he also heard them. They were everywhere here. The recent rains had made this the perfect place for all of them. Some of the insects were out of their homes for the first time in years. Hunting for food, water, and mates. Ben laughed again.
”This is a wild time to be here.”
Chase was busy sending the photo's to Ben's phone, changing the contact to the one he just took. ”Wild? Why? Its the perfect time to be here, otherwise it gets too hot outside. We're talkin 135°F. Which is…” Chase quickly began to do the math in his head for the conversion rate on temperature. ”Roughly 57°C”
”That is way too hot, ew.” Ben made a face. ”Well, uh... most of the noises the bugs are making are basically screams for sex.”
Chase’s cheeks felt warm. Part of his mind telling him that Ben might be trying to allude to something, the other part reminding him he just really liked bugs. ”Can you like…hear them? How does someone scream for sex? Do they just go around yelling ‘Hey! Fuck me!’”
”Yeah, basically. I can talk to them. I can hear them. But yeah, they just yell for it.” Ben shrugged a little.
”This is in fact a good time to be here though, because of the rain and everything. Everything is way more alive than it would have been at a dryer time.” Ben held out his hand again, another bug fluttering to it.
“Huh, a desert long-horned grasshopper.”
”I guess right now its a desert long-horny grasshopper.” Chase tried to close in on this one as well, but something about the way they moved weirded him out so he pulled back slowly. ”Looks like its got camouflage. Kinda figured all grasshoppers were either green, brown, or yellow like grass.”
Ben laughed. “Yeah, it sure is. Especially in a place like this.” He gestured to the light colored areas of the valley. “Here in this place it would fit in well.”
”And you fit in well…” Chase went behind Ben and wrapped his arms around him, placing his head atop of Ben's and making sure not to disturb the bug. ”Here. What else is around? Something beetle.“
Ben hugged Chase back with arm. He let the grasshopper go. And hums a little. After a moment a phodaga alticeps lands on his hand.
”A phodaga alitceps. This is a type of blister beetle. So def don’t touch it. As a defense they excrete a fluid that’ll make your skin blister. It hurts like hell.” Beetles were cool. This was not one of Ben’s usual go to favorites, but still cool.
”Oh! That's the weird name one I meant earlier. Why can't they just call it the dark blister beetle or something less…Latin.” He hadn't moved, keeping his arms wrapped around Ben's waist and his head rested on him as he stared at the beetle. ”Weird to think that's a beetle. I think beetles, I think big, hard shells, like armored bugs. But I guess they aren't all like that. This one's got chemical warfare though, that's cool.” His voice was almost far off sounding, as he actively found this fascinating for a change.
”There are a lot of beetles. I mean a lot so it is important to be clear. There is probably a dozen or more dark colored blister beetles.” Ben shrugs, staying in the embrace. ”There are a few that do chemical warfare. Defenses are tough for beetles. Some are spiky. Some have special colors that emulate poisons. Beetles are cool.”
”They sure are Bug Boi.” Chase stared a bit longer at the blister beetle, not so much focusing on it as he was the vibrations of Ben's speech pressed against his chest and chin, the slight movements as Ben spoke about beetles, and the feeling that he could stay like this forever. ”Wonder what the other bugs will be like, we still have several locations to visit in this one Park. Painted Canyons, a Crater, Dunes, and some mountain-esque hiking trails. Each with its own unique ecosystem.”
”I’m actually really excited. This is a cool trip idea. Going on a trip like this means we get to see some neat stuff. And also in general it is fun. I like spending time with you. Thank you for suggesting it.” Ben wanted to see Brooklyn someday still but he was happy he got to do this trip.
”Thank you for saying yes. And for getting that Old Man to actually agree to this. I for sure thought he'd ask to tag along.” Chase lowered his head down onto Ben's shoulder for a second, closing his eyes for just a moment as he took in the sounds of the insects all around them. The slight trickle of water as their feet shifted in the wet badlands. ”I'm really glad you actually like this. Want to see the next Venue?”
”Sure. How long are we here for?” He knew the trip was ten days but he wasn’t sure how long it was between locations.
Chase let go of Ben, moving to his side to hold his hand as he began to walk back towards the car. The next section was more for driving than walking. ”Well we have approximately ten days. It takes less than a day to drive all of Cali, but I figure you want to spend as much time as you can with the views, bugs, and me. There are five stops including this one, so at minimum a day per location. Oh! That's the best part I haven't mentioned yet…” Chase leaned in to whisper in Ben's ear. ”At night, when the world gets dark and everyone leaves, after the Rangers have done their walks, we can teleport back in and sleep at each location. Really live within nature.” It sounded like a dream to Chase, and in reality that was all it was, a dream, because he himself could never sleep. He'd be forced to lay awake as Ben slept away the hours, alone.
Ben was a little relieved that California was small enough they could drive it in a day if they did it straight. He smiled at the spending time with Chase part of the whole trip.
”I’ve never done anything like that before, that sounds super sweet. I’ll keep the bugs away, well except the ones we want to look at.”
”Got a bedroll, blanket, the whole nine yards. Though…I did only bring one so I hope you don't mind sharing. Thanks, I'd appreciate it if no bugs were nearby as we slept. Especially mosquitoes.” So far Ben hadn't rejected his idea. That gave Chase hope, made him happy, made him smile.
Ben was a little glad that Chase wasn’t holding onto him when he said there was only one bedroll. They were going to share? No tent? Oh god... His brain short circuited a bit as he followed after Chase, a couple bugs landing on his shoulder.
”I’ll keep the mosquitoes away, don’t worry.” He was proud that his voice was steady as he said it. He cleared his throat anyway. ”So um, only one bed?”
”Is that a problem?”
Ben considered it. ”It’ll be cold I’m sure. It’ll be better this way.” His face was red hot.
”Oh it gets real cold at night here. Figured sharing body heat was the best way to go underneath a thick blanket, sheet, thing.” Chase did not notice Ben's change in color.
”I figured that was your thought process. Because otherwise you would have told me to bring camping gear. I would have asked my uncle. We would have gone shopping. It would have been a whole thing,” Ben said, trying to regain his composure.
Chase turned around and wrapped his arms around Ben's waist, lifting him up and twirling in place. ”Oh nooo you'll have to spend the night in my embrace. What ever will you do?” He teased with a bit of laughter as he continued to walk again after putting Ben down. ”Dibs on Big spoon by the by.”
Ben laughed as he was twirled. The couple of bugs that had landed on up fluttered away. Once he was on his own two feet again they flew back, cleaning their little faces. This was becoming less embarrassing, more fun. He liked Chase. He wasn’t sure about snogging. Not yet. He’d probably have to try that before he made a final decision on if he wanted to snog Chase. Let alone any one else. Danni’s face came unbidden to his mind.
”I guess be the little spoon.” Ben shrugged, not too much that he’d disturb the little friends on his shoulder. He looked over at one of them. ”You gonna stay little buddy?” He smiled at the bug's response, ”Sweet.” It was a common milkweed.
Chase held onto Ben, positioning himself so that the sun cast a shadow behind the small boy. Once he felt satisfied he smirked and told him to hold on, but looked directly at the Milkweed bug. They fell down as if the floor opened up beneath them, landing them into the Jeep, each in their respective seat. ”Next up Artist's Palette Drive.” He pulled down the visor and a pair of sunglasses fell down into his lap. Putting them on as he cranked on the car.
It was a short drive, for Chase, a long one for Ben as they finally made it to their destination. The minerals of Artist's Palette glimmered brightly in the sun, the otherwise boring ridge seemingly alive with magic. Sand trickled slowly down the side and into the basin and faint ridges of sand surfers could be seen. Most people drove through the scenery, but Chase knew Ben was reaching his car limit and what's more you couldn't see the bugs within a car. He pulled off to the side of a trail, parking them as he looked over to the passenger seat. ”So? What'd y'a think?”
Ben held back a yelp, but only just barely as the floor dropped under him and he was back in the jeep. His heart was pounding. He checked his shoulder and the milkweed bug was still there. Ben watched the scenery as they drove up to Artist’s Palette Drive. The place looked boring, but it wasn’t, not really. The desert was teeming with life and Ben sighed it all in. He liked living in the city, he wouldn’t change that for the world. But he also loved this. Loved nature. Just as he was about to start clawing at the door to be freed from the confines of the jeep Chase pulled over.
”This place is fantastic.” He hopped out of the car, not wanting to be in it a moment longer. Ben took a deep breath of air and tilted his head listening. Not with his ears. But with whatever sense that gave him feedback about the bugs. Even here in a place that appeared desolate they were everywhere. The ground teemed with them, typically just below the surface. The shrubs were home and food alike to them. It was so alive.
Chase got out of the car and made his way over towards Ben, getting back into what was now both a familiar, comfortable, and natural position for him. His arms around Ben's waist, his head atop of his, as he softly spoke out staring at the scenery and feeling as Ben's quiet spoke volumes. ”What's it feel like? What're they saying?” Chase closed his eyes, trying to listen to the life around them. ”I want to feel what you feel.”
Ben leaned into Chase, letting him wrap him the hug. Soaking in the warmth of his body. He hadn’t spent many days without some skating or parkour. Today was still a good day. This felt right and good.
Ben considered how to describe it. He let it all wash over him. Thinking of how someone who couldn’t hear the life in the world around them could understand. Finally he started to speak, his voice was quiet, as if he were in a church and didn’t want to disturb the other worshipers in their quiet contemplation.
”Imagine, you’re in a crowded mall. Each store sells different things. Everyone around you is chattering. Sometimes you can pick up parts of the conversation, other times there is just too much chatter. The smells from the stores are enticing and make your stomach rumble. You’ve been hungry and thirsty for a long time, almost your whole life. And finally here you are at this mall where you can eat and drink and fuck all you’d like. That’s what it is like for them. For me, I am standing in that mall. I don’t need anything that is offered, but all of the stores are so beautifully decorated it doesn’t matter. And the people shopping there are just content. Not happy. There isn’t really a sense of things like happy for insects. But this mall is perfect for all of them. It has exactly what they need. So they are content. I don’t hear it, not in the sense that my ears process the noise. I could cover my ears and I would still hear them. It’s like how you know there is wind or sun when you’re outside.”
As Ben described the scene to him, explaining it in ways that painted not only a picture, but touched his very soul, Chase felt as all his walls dropped. He could see the mall, the people. Hear the sounds of murmured voices as he sat before the Food Court and closed his eyes to listen to the people all around him. Snapshots of lives, conversations, love, and laughter. It was a scene he was familiar with, a scene he desperately missed from his past life.
He pulled Ben closer to him, tightening his arms around him as he breathed in, and loosening his grip when he exhaled. His head lowered, instinctively, subconsciously, as he gently pressed his lips against Ben's neck and kissed it. ”Thanks…that…it's beautiful Ben.” His voice was soft, gentle, faraway.
Ben froze. He tensed ever so slightly. Nerves getting the better of him. During the day he had gotten used to the almost casual physical affection. He had, through his life, had decent physical affection. From his parents, his family at large, and even from friends. In general, he was used to casual touches, hand holding, hugging, that sort of thing. Other than from his parents no one kissed him. This wasn’t on his lips, not a ‘real’ kiss. But it was a kiss. He felt it through his whole body. His stomach tightened. He didn’t know why. Didn’t understand his body’s natural responses. What he did know was he liked Chase.
Chase had given him a fantastic day, even with being in the car for most of it, today had been great. And as he realized he had taken what was probably much too long to respond he relaxed and leaned back just a little more. ”Thank you. This,” he gestured around them. ”Is beautiful.”
”Yeah…” Chase leaned further into Ben as well. He hadn't noticed how long it took for Ben to answer him back, he hadn't even processed the fact that he had just kissed Ben's neck. He was just, in the moment. ”And you get to pick where we sleep tonight from all the enjoying we'll visit. But…please not the badlands. I don't want my roll getting water logged on the first day while it's cold.”
Ben snorted, ”That’s fair. Maybe a rocky outcropping somewhere. There sure is plenty of that. And those areas will be less likely to have ants.” Ben could easily keep the ants, mosquitoes and all the other little things no one wants crawling into bed with them at bay. It was better to start in a location where there would be less effort in such things. This place was teeming with ants.
”I love less ants. No offense, just not my cup of bugs you know? Now we have two options here. There's…not much in this part of the park, promise they aren't all barren wastelands, the last one on the trip I think you'll love. But, for here and now, we can either hop back in and drive around the sights of Artist's Palette or take that hiking trails and waltz around a bit. I'm fine with either, though if we hike we need to grab our waters and a snack or two.”
If given the option of being in the car or not, Ben would, 100% of the time pick not. Today was no different.
”Hike,” he said without hesitation.
Night time in Death Valley
Night had finally fallen over Death Valley, the temperature having dropped significantly as the pair waited for the Rangers to clear out. He'd hidden the car in a place shadows would always fall so if they needed a quick escape it'd be ready for them. When the coast was clear he squeezed Ben's hand. ”Ready?”
Ben nodded, squeezing back. The day had been wonderful, spicy foods and way too long in a car aside. He was tired. He had followed his uncle's rules. Matt had liked the photos. It gave him a good sense of “proof of life.” Now Ben was ready to lay down, stargaze, chat with his new bug friends, and eventually fall asleep.
”Sweet.” Chase turned around in the car, shadows engulfing the bedroll, comforter, and a small messenger bag that held a few supplies, snacks, and water. All of it materialized at Zabriskie Point. It was probably the most famous local within Death Valley, though out of all the locations they visited, Chase preferred the Badwater Basin. From their vantage point, they could oversee the Furnace Creek rock formations, a veritable maze of rocks that woven into each other like currents of water, from there it was said the Sunrise was to die for.
Next came the pair of them, and all the critters Ben had allowed to tag along. Chase had brought a small lantern, but was unsure about lighting it as he didn't want to reveal their location to the Rangers. He began to set up the bedroll, a nice cushiony white roll that had a multipatterned fitted sheet over it that was similar to a wimsy-goth quilted blanket. He placed his buffalo print comforter over it it and a few cushioned pillows on top. Chase had brought two as he typically used two, but he was willing to share one with Ben. The lantern sat beside them, unlit, along with the messenger bag that rested propped up against it. There was no light pollution, nothing to stop the brilliant glow of the stars above them.
Ben helped set up camp. It would be cold. No doubt about that. It was January. And deserts got cold at night. Even this one.
He kindly put pressure on the insects to stay away, except those who had joined them. Those he let wander, warning them to not get under foot or end up crushed. He couldn't do anything about spiders, unfortunately. But this spot seemed devoid of them.
Once camp was set up he sat so he could star gaze. Ben didn't know the constellations, not like he knew insects.
”I'm happy. I'm looking forward to what other stops we will have. But even if today was the only day. It has been so much fun.” He tapped the spot next to him, and waited for Chase to join him.
Chase's heart fluttered as Ben tapped the spot next to him for him to join. He sat down on the bedroll, wrapping one arm around Ben to help keep them both warm. ”Im glad you're happy. I was so worried you'd think this would all be so…lame. So to hear you had fun…thanks for saying yes Bug Boi. It meant a lot to me. “ He pulled on Ben gently to move them both closer to each other, offering his shoulder as a place for Ben to rest his head if he wanted to.
”You see those three stars up there, that forms Orion's belt, you can follow that to help form Orion the Hunter and over there is Canis Major, his dog, along with Sirius. Hard to miss that one.” Chase had fumbled slightly when he had begun talking about the belt, the name hitting him like an arrow as he was once again reminded of a lost friend. But he pushed on, wishing to share what little he recalled about the stars with a new friend.
Ben smiled as Chase sat down next to him. He leaned over and placed his head on his shoulder. It felt natural. It felt right. Ben didn’t think about it beyond that. He did feel warm.
“Go on. I don’t know the stars.” He had been talking all day about this insect or that insect. He had gone full infodump mode about it.
”That one's Ursa Major, and within it is Asterism, though most people call it the Big Dipper. It's a great start to find when trying to get your bearings out in the wild. Sort of like nature's own compass. I…don't remember too many beyond that. Got my knowledge second hand and…well it's gotten rusty over time.” Chase leaned his head onto Ben's.
“What do you like? You’ve spent all day catering to my interests. What are yours?” That felt a little unfair in Ben’s heart. He considered what he knew about Chase. He liked skateboarding, he liked the T.V. show Merlin, he was adopted, and he liked shooting guns. Ben wasn’t much into the gun scene, but they had spent a day doing that with Uncle Matt. It had been a good day, but the space between them had been filled with someone else. Now Ben wanted to know what Chase himself enjoyed.
Chase was taken aback, his breath hitched in his throat as Ben asked him about his own interests. He wanted to pull away, to let go and pull his legs back up to his chest and tell him nothing. But he couldn't do it. ”I like…music, and drawing, and and painting and Arthurian legends, skateboarding obviously and I love the silence of night. I…” His fingers curled in, gripping Ben's shirt within his fist. ”I don't know…so much has changed with me recently it's hard to want to go back to being normal, to feeling normal. But I do know one thing at least…I like you.”
Ben was nodding along. He wasn’t surprised about the Arthurian legends considering his love for the show. His own hand, resting on his leg, tightened in time with Chase’s. Tightened more when Chase told him that he liked him. Chase liked him. Ben couldn’t be surprised about that either. Not really. The days since he had met Chase had shown him that. And Ben liked him too. But was that the same type of like? He didn’t know. A thought came to him. A little guilt budded around that.
”I like you too. But I don’t know if I like like you. If that makes sense. I’ve never liked anyone that way. Or well I don’t know. I’m new to this.” Ben sat up and looked at Chase, the light was dim, but he had adjusted to the night sky being the only source of light.
Then, without much more of a pause, Ben closed his eyes and leaned forward. His lips puckered. He had in fact never kissed anyone before. He did not know what he was doing, and it was awkward. From media he knew to only go half way and let the other person close the distance. He kept his eyes closed to keep from seeing whatever Chase’s reaction was to it.
Chase wasn't facing Ben, his eyes fixated on the horizon until he felt Ben shift beneath him and remove his head off his shoulder. He was about to tell him not to sweat the details on like or like like, Chase understood that more than anyone. Even he wasn't sure about all this. He'd never been with a guy before, never kissed one or dated. This was all new to him and only came about through several crashouts and a therapist. But when he turned to see what had Ben so quiet, his breathing stopped. Was Ben, did he? His stomach tightened and his mind raced to decide what he wanted.
Fuck it. Chase slid the arm he had around Ben higher, using his other hand to gently press against Ben's chest as Chase shifted to hold him, and kiss him, as he laid him down on the bedroll. At first it was soft, gentle, wanting but unsure. But then he went in again, deeper and with more hunger behind the kiss as if his body had been starved of it all day.
Oh.
Ben’s brain went quiet.
He sank into the touch, into the kiss.
The soft kiss had been nice, and his body was tingling. Everywhere that Chase touched felt like it was hotter than it should be. He let himself be laid down. He pulled Chase, he pushed the insects away so they wouldn’t get crushed on accident.
He lost himself to the kiss and the touch of Chase.
Ben hadn't stopped him. So Chase kept going, he kissed his cheek where ink still stood, he kissed down his neck making sure to get every inch of space he could, he pulled Ben in close as he straddled him, gripping his shirt in ways it was sure to loosen and leave wrinkles later. The hand that was on Ben's back slid under his shirt and trailed his spine upwards as he went back in to kiss his lips once more.
Ben’s body tightened. Chase’s hand was cool against his hot skin. It felt really good. He moaned. The sound was quiet, but carried over the empty desert. Ben grinned. He slid his own hand under Chase’s shirt, his fingers tentatively touched, feeling Chase’s semi-defined abs.
Chase tugged Ben's collar aside, stretching it out as he began to kiss down his neck and onto his collar and shoulders. Short hot breaths pressing against Ben's skin. His breath shuttered at Ben's touch, his stomach firming up, making his jeans hang a little looser as Chase both wished for Ben's hand to move lower and worried about what he was doing at all. He found a spot far enough down where any shirt would cover a mark and sunk into it. A gentle bite as he began to leave a hickey there worried about what Ben's Uncle would think if he saw it.
Ben gasped and hissed. In pain and pleasure. It wasn’t real pain. He had broken a bone before, this was a gentle thing. It stung. More interesting was how the rest of his body reacted. He had had such reactions before, and had taken care of them. He had not experienced it with someone.
Ben was not thinking about his uncle as his hands explored Chase. He was only thinking about the moment. About the feel of Chase pressing against him. He knew that Chase had to be aware of how tight his trousers had gotten. Ben was equal parts embarrassed and uncaring.
As Ben let his hands wander and explore Chase, one hand found Chase’s hip. His fingertips caressed the open space between clothing and skin. He didn’t want to go lower, he wanted to go lower, he did not go lower.
Every movement of Ben's fingers made Chase wild. He was already grinding against him and as he felt Ben's hand wander lower. Chase removed himself from Ben's collar, kissing his lips softly once more before turning onto his side and staring back at the starry sky as he tried to even out his breathing. ”Sorry I – oh man, I really liked that. I just…if we kept going I don't…oh man.” He was out of breath, and in the thrall of pleasure. Turning to face Ben and then letting his eyes drift towards the bulge in Ben's pants. ”Well hello Big Ben.”
Ben didn’t want it to stop. They should stop. He let out a small whimper as Chase pulled away. He looked the other way, looked at the sky, looked at where he knew there were small insects. He too was out of breath and listening to Chase’s breathing was... intoxicating.
”Yeah. I think I liked that too.” His face was red. He felt hot all over. ”We should,” Ben cleared his throat. ”Maybe not continue.” Fuck. He wanted to continue.
Chase turned on his side, facing Ben as he placed one hand on Ben's stomach just above his belt line. Lifting Ben's shirt slightly before tracing his finger along Ben's stomach. ”If we continued I couldn't guarantee your clothes would stay on Big Ben.” His finger went down and traced along the hem of Ben's pant zipper before lifting up and going back onto his chest. He'd have to wait until Ben was asleep to relieve some of this pent up energy he now had. Great.
”I don’t think I’m ready for that.” Ben gasped when Chase touched his trousers. He was thankful that his hand returned to his chest. He was disappointed that Chase’s hand moved. The conflict was hard to decide.
”I think, though, that that answered the question. I do like you that way.” Ben liked boys. It was a simple enough thought. He was okay with it. He let that settle around him.
”Well, ok this may be a bit awkward now. I…we do have to shower together in a few days time. But it would be…together…” Chase leaned in and gave Ben another kiss along his neck. ”Now which way is it that you like me huh? I uh, didn't quite catch it.” He grinned under the moonlight before kissing the spot he had bitten.
”T-t-together?” Ben stuttered. He whimpered with the kisses. ”I suppose, if asked, I’d say that I like like you.”
”Don't worry those dark little curls of yours Bug Boi, nothing's going to happen. I'll wash your back, you wash mine. Simple as that. Ok?” Hearing his whimpers was intoxicating. He pressed another kiss as he moved his body closer to Ben's, trying hard not to start it all over again but failing to control all his impulses. Chase bit his lower lip, staring at Ben as he lay there. ”How sweet of you, I think I like like you too. You're…actually the first guy I've ever kissed…”
Ben did relax a little. He was still nervous at the idea of being naked. Of all of this. But he felt better. ”Alright.” He could deal with that. It would be okay.
”Same.” He smiled, ”I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
”Could've fooled me. You were excellent.” Chase pulled the comforter over Ben as he slipped out of the bedroll for a moment. He began to take off his shirt, tossing it over the bag before removing his pants and keeping on his boxers. The clothing that had laid over the bag vanished and a new pair, sweatpants and an old band t-shirt, now lay folded on top. He put those on before slipping back into bed with Ben. ”You bring any PJs?”
”I could say the same about you.” Ben’s face got hot again when Chase started to change. He looked away.
”Yeah I did. In my bag.”
Chase pulled Ben's bag out from the shadows, before tossing the bag over to Ben. ”Well get them, c'mon.” He laughed.
”Thanks,” Ben took the bag and dug through it until he found his pjs. He considered how to change. Would he be bold like Chase? Or hide under the blanket? If he was under the blanket then he’d be next to Chase. Ben gave up and just stood up and changed as quickly as he could. His pjs, red, green, and black plaid, were a recent Christmas gift.
Unlike Ben, Chase did not look away. He smiled as he watched Ben's shirt remove as well as his pants. ”Didn't realize you were so excited to get out of your clothes there Big Ben.” His gaze pointedly looking at Ben's boxers. ”I'd say you could just stay in those for the night but it's a bit too cold for that.”
Ben shot Chase an embarrassed look. He quickly finished getting dressed, and then climbed under the blankets. ”The opinions of that are not being discussed.”
”Fine fine. I wont push it my little Bed Bug.” Chase scooted in closer to Ben again, wrapping his arms around him but now slipping his thumb beneath Ben's boxers band. He wasn't doing anything, just moving his thumb back and forth to feel the skin that was hidden away from sight. Kissing Ben's neck.
At first Ben hadn’t really liked the nicknames that Chase kept calling him. He remembered that first meeting. That girl asking how long they had been dating. How annoyed he had been. He had just wanted to fade away. To disappear. He didn’t want that anymore. He liked the nicknames. He liked Chase.
Ben couldn’t help it. He was enjoying this. His body enjoyed it. He enjoyed it. He gasped. He moaned. He shivered a little. The winter cold of the desert was starting to set in. Even under the two blankets and curled up with Chase, it was cold. They’d probably regret this set up in the morning. But like so many other things on this trip that any other way or day he would have hated... he didn’t hate it. He didn’t care. He was having fun.
Ben pressed against Chase. His own hands starting to explore more. They would learn more about each other soon. He wanted to explore Chase.
Chase held Ben until he finally fell asleep. Giving him one final kiss before slipping out of the bed and grabbing a few items out of his back. Small sketchbook, his Rite in Rain pencil, and a travel kit of watercolors. He spent the first few hours of the night sketching Ben as he slept, different angles, looks, the way he remembered his smile, the face he made as he tried spiced food, all of it sketched within his pages. After that he sketched out the bugs they met using the pictures he had taken, each one painted by the water colors he had on hand and his favorite one sketched within the passport itself.
It didn't take long beyond that for the loneliness to set in. Ben lay there asleep, and Chase had nowhere to go. No one to talk to, no board to skate on, nothing more to do to occupy the hours of the night. He hadn't thought that far ahead, hadn't considered that side effect of his curse. He quietly made his way back into the bed, once again wrapping his arm around Ben's waist as he stared off into the Horizon, quiet, waiting, hoping for a new day to dawn so that he could see his smile once more.
Jan 3rd
Sunrise in the Desert
The sun began to rise far off in the horizon. Chase gently shook Ben awake as he watched him sleep. ”Hey Big Ben, you're gonna miss the sunrise. Time to rise and shine big guy.”
Ben was not a morning person. He would happily sleep till noon. But right now was adventure time. He made some grumbling noises as he woke up and rubbed at his eyes. ”Good morning. You sleep okay?” Ben asked, sitting up.
Chase pressed a kiss against Ben's lips, hopefully giving him a bit more energy to get up. ”Slept great thanks to you. You make an incredible cuddle buddy.”
Ben kissed Chase back, his face warming up. Despite how close they had gotten last night it was still all new to him.
”Thanks, I’m glad.” Ben got the rest of the way up and grabbed his bag from where it had been left the night before. He pulled out his jeans and a fresh shirt. Quickly Ben changed from his pjs into jeans and shirt. He shoved the pjs into the bag.
”What is the plan today?”
”First you need to take those clothes back off.” Chase began removing his own, tossing them to the side but no new ones had come back up yet. He removed a pack of baby wipes and tossed one towards Ben and took one out for himself. ”Time for a whores bath, then we can change. Ok?”
Ben reflexively caught the pack of baby wipes. But he was very confused. ”Whores bath?” He had never heard the term before and didn’t understand what was happening. The fact that Chase asked him to strip made his face heat up all over again. Even after last night.
Chase opened up his pack, taking a wipe and rubbing it along his body as he began to speak. Scrubbing extra long on certain parts, mainly pits, groin, anywhere that sweat would pool and create scent. ”Yes. Wipe yourself ‘clean’ with those so that we don't create much of a funk until we get to a point where we will shower. I've got some deodorant packed too to use after we finish wiping, or do you need me to help?” His eyes instantly falling back down to Ben's crotch as he asked.
”I-i-i can do it myself. I just have never heard of that before,” Ben said. He sighed and then removed his clothes and started to wipe himself down. He turned so that he wasn’t looking at Chase. Giving him privacy but also giving himself some too. He felt so awkward.
Ben went through the motions of scrubbing himself as quickly as possible. He was not as thorough as he should have, or could have been. As soon as he was finished he quickly pulled his clothing back on.
Chase pulled out a small tin jar with a lid on it, tilting it so Ben could place his wipes within it. Chase's having already entered. ”Leave no trace. Rule one of the parks.” He still hadn't placed his clothes on.
Ben kept his eyes up. He put the wipes into the tin. Chase was not making this easy on him. ”Right. Don’t want the wildlife to come across something they shouldn’t. It’d be bad for them.”
”Exactly. See you get it. What I don't get is why you keep looking away. I know you like the view. “
Ben’s face was red hot. He knew he had to be practically glowing. ”I do, but I also...” Ben trailed off. ”Am too nervous.”
”I'm just teasing you. I know.” Chase beckoned his clothing from the car, putting on a fresh pair of jeans and shirt. He grabbed the bedroll, sheets, and everything else and began to pack it up. Tossing them into Ben's shadow to send them back towards the car so that it didn't look like they had slept there. He turned Ben's shoulders to face the sunrise, the view. ”Enjoy it.”
Ben let himself be turned to face the sunrise. This was the perfect place for the sunrise. They had picked a great spot. He smiled. As nervous as Ben was he still relaxed into the beauty of it all. He was enjoying it.
Chase sat down, he had sketched out the scenery the night before. Now he was able to paint it with the colors of the sunrise using his watercolors. Some of the other sketches could be seen on the other page of the open book.
Ben looked over at the art that Chase had done. ”Oh wow. You’re good.”
”Please. It's nothing really.” Chase tried to hide the page, going to tilt the book up a bit. ”It helps me when I can't sleep. Gives me something to do, to relax.” His cheeks felt hot, embarrassment brushing past him from the compliment.
”No really, you are good,” Ben insisted. ”It looks like you did a few last night.” His voice softened. Had Chase not slept well last night? He said he had.
”What can I say? I had a beautiful muse with me last night. So I was able to get a few out.” Chase smiled at Ben as he placed his brush down, allowing for the paint to dry before he could close his book.
Ben smiled. ”I assume you mean the insects, they are super cool.” His grin grew, his voice teasing.
Chase couldn't help but chuckle, rolling his eyes at Ben as he slowly began to turn and placed himself over Ben's lap, straddling him once more. ”Yeah, definitely the bugs. They inspired me to want to say how much I want to, well not fuck…but fool around. So, tell them I said thank you for me.” Chase tilted Ben's chin up towards him and began to kiss him.
Ben’s gut tightened as Chase climbed on top of him. He did want to fool around too. He felt so weird and awkward about it all though. When Chase started to kiss him, he melted a little and kissed back, wrapping his arms around Chase.
”They do enjoy screaming about wanting to...” Ben cleared his throat nervously. ”Fuck. I’ll tell them.”
Chase had found his favorite chalice, and he wanted nothing more than to drink deep from it every time he said something remotely dorky. He could already feel himself wanting a bit more as his lips found their way around Ben's neck before pulling away. ”Thanks Bug Boi, for letting them know and this beautiful view.”
Ben was at a loss for words. He couldn’t decide if the neck kisses were ticklish or enjoyable. He couldn’t decide a lot of things. Except that this was the best trip ever. Even if he had to spend hours in the car.
He could sit here with Chase the whole rest of the trip. He did want to see the rest of the spots Chase had planned. But he also was just happy. He hadn’t been happy since his parents' deaths. He leaned into Chase and took a deep breath. His heart pounded and he suddenly felt the urge to move. Contradictions upon contradictions.
”Ready for some breakfast, big guy? Figure we can hit an American diner, get some grub and then we're on the road again to our next destination. What do you say?” Chase didn't wait for the answer before burying himself in Ben's neck again with kisses, waiting to hear what he wanted to do.
Ben giggled as the kisses tipped over into fully ticklish. ”Food is good,” he said between gasping breaths of laughter.
Chase spoke in-between kisses. ”Awe – But I – Was enjoying – My snack.” When he pulled away he hooked a finger into Ben's shirt collar again and moved it to the side to see his work from the night before. ”Sick.” He snapped a pic before turning to show Ben. ”Don't tell your Old Man, he might kill me.”
Ben laughed. When he saw the picture though he got nervous again. ”He might kill me too. That’s a definitely don’t tell Uncle Matt thing.”
”Oh Benny Boi, you're absolutely dangerous. C'mon let's go get some grub. You'll love and hate it all at once. No beans and toast though.”
Breakfast at Denny’s
After some time back on the road, as Chase searched for the Holy Grail of breakfast diners, he finally saw the tell-tale signs of what he had been looking for. The California sun reflected brilliantly off of the fully chromed building. The word ‘Diner’ spelled out in bright large red letters. A classic 1957 Chevy Corvette sat in front of the diner. It had white walled tires, a baby blue body with white accents, and white convertible roof. ”Awe man, see that’s the car I was originally going to snag for this trip. Morgan said this one would be better for us, and well… ok she was right it has way more personality and has really worked.”
Ben gaped a little at the classic American diner. He had seen things like this in movies. He didn’t think they were still around.
”I think I would have gone crazy in that car, even with the roof down.”
Chase sighed. ”Yeah…Morgan's always right. It's…kinda annoying sometimes.” He got out of the Jeep and helped Ben out his side before taking them indoors to snag a table for two. The interior was just as classic as the exterior. Every booth had plush red leather with white trim, the table edges were chromed just like the building. The floor was a checkered pattern, and a jukebox sat in the corner of the restaurant. They were sat in a booth at the back corner of the restaurant, somewhere private where they wouldn't be disturbed.
”Well she can see the future.” Ben let Chase help him. It wasn't needed but it was kind. He looked around the restaurant with his mouth slightly open. Appreciating the nostalgia of the place, even as a non-American.
Menus we handed over, the plastic slightly sticky with age, the options a plethora of strange American delights. Ben was in fact a little overwhelmed. He wanted to try the quintessential American breakfast.
”Okay, so what should I try?” He asked as he looked over the menu. ”I was the most classic American diner meal you could imagine.”
Chase pointed onto Ben's menu showing him the best possible option. ”The All American Slam! Eggs, pancakes, bacon, sausage, hash browns, and toast. The perfect breakfast to start off the day.”
Ben nodded, that was a lot of food. But he didn’t mind. He ate a lot. His uncle had at one point asked if he had a hollow leg.
”Sounds good.” He hoped this place had tea. He was willing to try new stuff, but he wanted tea for breakfast.
An older woman appearing to be in her mid 40’s to early 50's came over to their table. There was an old clicky pen with with dinged masking tape wrapped around the spot she'd hold it. Her glasses hung halfway down her nose, a chain running from the legs of her glasses to behind her neck. Her voice was honed with the brillance of a chain smoker as she placed one hand on her hip and looked at the boys sat before her.
“Good mornin’ sweeties, my names Margaret but you can call me Marge. I'll be your server for the morning while you're here if you need anything holler. Do you need a bit more time with your menus or are you ready to order?”
Chase placed his menu down, wanting to slide it towards the waitress but finding it more difficult than he expected given its sticky surface. ”We'll do two All American Slams please, one has the eggs Sunny Side up, Fried, and a cup of coffee black is fine. The other has…Benny Boi how do you like your eggs?”
”Scrambled please. Do you have tea?” Please, Ben mentally begged, don’t have it be the abomination that is American Sweet tea.
The waitress smiled, a false lash threatened to remove itself from position as she did so. “Of course we do sweetie! We have Lipton Black Tea and a Raspberry Tea. We also do Iced Teas sweet or unsweet whichever is your pleasure.”
”No Earl Grey or English Breakfast?” Ben asked hopefully.
The waitress gave a polite laugh, having no idea what the kid was asking her. “Lipton Black it is sweetheart. I'll go place those orders in right away for you two ok?” Without so much as giving them the chance to respond, she was off. Her voice could be heard from behind the kitchen as she yelled out their order to a man named Sal, at least it sounded like it should be their order but clearly coded in a way the boys themselves may not understand.
Chase raised an eyebrow at Ben, a smile plastered on his face as the corners twitched while he tried to hold back some laughter. ”Earl Grey or English? Sorry Benny but joints like this won't have anything like that. Starbucks might though…” Maybe he'd drive past one to treat Ben.
”The bar was low, yet this place has failed me.” Ben sighed. ”I feel like those are some really basic types of tea. I’m not asking for anything crazy. They don’t even have proper herbal tea.”
”Lipton is the basic tea here. English or Earl is a bit more fancy pants. I should've packed some tea for you. Dammit, I'm sorry man.” Chase crossed his arms on the table and laid down atop them pouting.
”It is fine. If we go to a supermarket I can get some. Uncle Matt did give me some money.” There was no way Matt would have let Ben be gone so long without some back up money.
”I suppose I’ll be trying the Lipton tea.” He shrugged.
”Yeah but I knew what you liked and I still forgot to prepare for it. It's fine, we'll get you some yet. Oh! You take cream with yours right? You may want to ask her for some otherwise you may not get any.” Chase slid the white ceramic container of sugar packets over towards Ben. ”That's your sugar options. I just usually make piles with them but I suppose you could use em.”
”Yeah I do. I’ll ask her when she comes back. Thank you.” He picked from the collection of sugar, the plain white sugar. He did not care for any of the fake sugars, and did not want to think how raw sugar would taste in his tea.
”What’s your favorite drink?”
”Here or in general?” Chase snagged the Sweet n Low packets and began tearing them open and pouring them out onto the napkins placed before him.
”General.” Ben watched what Chase was doing with interest.
Chase watched as the sugar trickled out of the packet with extreme interest, thinking about Ben's question. ”Malt Milkshake. You?”
”Tea, everytime. It is the drink.” Ben says confidently. ”Though a milkshake is good.”
Chase couldn't help but laugh. Of course it was tea. Next he'd be telling him his favorite dish was Fish N Chips. ”You're proper bri'ish aren't ya govna?”
The waitress came back with a tray holding all the food. Placing various plates in front of Ben, one holding the eggs, hash, bacon, and sausage, another holding a stack of pancakes, and the final holding the toast. She then placed similar plates before Chase and gave them both glasses of water, a pot of coffee for Chase, and a small white ceramic mug with the logo for Denny's holding a teabag and hot water. She tossed straws onto the table as she spoke to them. “Alright sweeties, here we are. Two American Slams, one Sunny another Scrambled with Tea and Coffee. Do we need anything else?”
”Cream, please.” He felt weird asking for it. At home it would be automatic. But here he was having to request it. Not only request cream but it was Lipton! Once the waitress had left Ben nodded.
”Born and raised in London.”
“You got it sweetie.” The waitress winked at Ben before heading off to grab the cream.
”Think maybe you could make me some proper fish n chips then? Or maybe when my powers get strong enough, I can take us to London and you can give me the tour. Have me try your foods and sweets and those Jimmy dooogies.”
The waitress came back and dropped off a small bowl of creamer packets. Various flavours ranging from Vanilla to Hazelnut, with a few that had no flavour at all. “There you go, you enjoy now.”
Chase had already grabbed the container full of maple syrup and absolutely doused his pancakes in them until the plate looked more like a soup of syrup with some pancakes alongside it.
Ben gave Chase a flat look as he called them ‘jimmy dooogies.’ He didn’t otherwise respond to that. As he searched for the no flavour packets of cream to add to his Lipton, dear god LIPTON tea, he spoke.
”Yeah, I’d love to show you around. It’s a great city. Way easier to get around than here.” Once he had made something resembling a cup of tea, he tucked in to start eating.
The food was... different. It was fine. He added salt. He could eat this.
”Could show me all the great snogging spots. Here try this.” Chase cut off a square of his syrup drenched pancakes and offered up the bite to Ben.
Ben snorted, almost choking on his current bite of food. After he coughed and took a sip of his tea, ew that was not tea. He coughed again.
”I don’t know the snogging spots. I’ve never snogged anyone before you.” He still obediently took the bite of pancakes. It was sweet. But he liked it. Ben nodded.
”That’s good.” He picked up the syrup and added that to his plate of pancakes.
”Then I suppose we’ll just have to find and make our own spots huh?” Chase cut off another piece and took a bite, moaning softly at the buttery flavour of it all with the sweet rich syrup mixed in. ”Quite.” He said in a fake British accent before taking another bite.
“I actually like it.” Ben defended. He looked a little confused. Not at the British accent though.
”I'm glad, honestly was afraid you wouldn't like it since it's just diner food. I think it's better than people give it credit for.” Chase beamed before snagging a piece of bacon and chewing it. He noticed Ben's face however and his expression softened. ”Unless you're just saying that to make me feel better. It's ok if you don't like it…”
”Not make you feel better. I do like it. The food is good, not quite, but actually good.” Ben was even more confused.
Chase ran his hand through his hair as he sat back in the booth. ”How can it be both not quite and actually good? Is it not quite or is it good? I'm confused man.” At this point he'd abandoned his fork and knife all together, focusing more on the conversation at hand than his own food.
”Good yes.” Ben had also paused in his eating. ”If it were quite good, that’s like me being sarcastic. That means it is basically not good.”
”Now that just doesn't make a lick of sense Benny Boi. If something was quite good it means its like better than good but not exactly really good but still high praise. Unless you used like, a sarcastic tone. Then that changes everything.” Chase grabbed his black coffee and took a sip.
“Quite is always bad.” Ben shook his head. “It is like ‘the public transit in America is quite good.’”
”It most certainly is not quite good. It's, what I believe you'd call, rubbish.” Chase rolled his eyes before drinking a bit more. Ben was clearly talking nonsense.
”Yes, it is rubbish.” Ben nodded emphatically. ”That’s the point.”
”You're weird.” Chase decided before taking another bite of his food. Stopping mid chew as he looked back up at Ben and realized what he'd just said. ”But in a good way. I like it. I like weird.”
Ben sighed, he wasn’t sure what wasn’t clear. He kind of gave up though and went back to eating too. ”I like you too. I like your weird.”
Chase moved his leg, brushing it up against the side of Ben's. ”Yeah? What else you like about me?” His voice a little raspy as he asked.
Ben blushed as Chase’s leg brushed his own. ”I like how thoughtful you are. How funny you are. How compassionate you can be about old weird t.v. shows. Ilikeyourface,” He said the last part very quickly as if it were all one word.
Chase's smile grew the more Ben talked, he continued eating but was a bit more bashful about it now. ”I uh, didn't quite catch that last part. You wanna lick my face?”
”That is not what I said.” Ben’s eyes were wide with embarrassment. ”Like. I. Like. Your. Face.” This time he said each word with careful enunciation.
Chase's smile grew wider. Pure admiration in his eyes as he looked at Ben. Ben hadn't known him before, he wouldn't know the way he used to look, the way the experiments took everything from him. He didn't know a Chase who had color to his skin or without the dark circles under his eyes. Yet somehow he still liked the way he looked. ”Christ on a pogostick. I - I don't know what to say. Honestly you're too sweet and too good for me.” Chase managed to stammer out before picking at his food once more.
”Says the guy who planned a whole sequence of National Parks visits around the fact that I like insects.” Ben raised an eyebrow as he bit into a piece of bacon. Okay, that wasn’t good. It was very floppy. Ew.
”No I'm nothing more than a monster.” The words came out mumbled, low, and with a vocal fry. The comment clearly not meant to be heard by anyone but himself as he stared at his plate. ”You were new to the states, and I don't…I…wanted to show you around. I hadn't expected any of the snogfest. But I'm also not complaining about it either and frankly wouldn't mind more of it. I just…I like you ok? So…I want you to have a good time. That's all.”
Ben tilted his head. Fear bolted through him. He put the fork down. ”Hey, a few things. You have done nothing, as far as I know, that would make you a monster. You’ve been kind and cool the whole time. I initiated the snogging, if you remember. If I hadn’t liked kissing you I would have told you. Might have made the rest of the trip awkward, but I did like it. I like you. I am having a good time. None of that makes you a monster.”
Chase gripped his fork tighter, he couldn't meet Ben's eyes, staring at his food was easier. Running was always easier. ”Sorry. I didn't mean…” He could feel the shadows dancing around the edges of his feet as he tried to control his emotions. ”I didn't always look like this. It…came with the powers. I'm not used to it yet…used to me yet.”
Ben was quiet for a moment. He was really looking at Chase, his freckles, the paleness of his skin, the ever present dark circles under his eyes.
”What are your powers? How did they change you? You look... normal.” Ben shrugged. ”Maybe not normal, tired, I guess. But you don’t look hideous? What could you have possibly looked like before that makes you think you don’t look fine?’
Chase was silent for a moment. Finally deciding to dig out his cellphone and open up an app he hadn't used in a while, his Filterella. He went to his own page and slid the phone to Ben, not even looking at the images himself. All of them showed someone who had more life to them. Warm colored skin, rosey peach lips, not dark circles and his hair was a lighter shade of brown. He looked normal. ”Like that, and you've seen my powers. The shadows, they're like… a part of me. I can feel them, move them, go through them or shape them.”
Ben took the phone and spent a moment looking at the images there. Chase was cute before, but that didn’t diminish how cute he was now. He frowned. Ben could kind of understand. If he had gained a scar during terrigenisous or something else he would probably hate it too. He had lost his parents in the same moment he had gotten powers. Gaining powers was all he had ever wanted. But now, he’d take it all back if it meant he had his parents still.
“Okay. I still like your face. I enjoyed last night.” He passed the phone back. “Yeah you look less... alive.” He said the last word with a slight uptilt to it, as if he was unsure if that was what he really meant.
“None of that makes you a monster. Your power is kind of neat. It's a very active power. Something that can be used for all kinds of things. I can talk with bugs, I have a heightened sense of propreciption.” Ben butchered the last word. He sighed, “I’m very good at climbing walls whatever. I’m not Spiderman. I’m not going to be saving lives. You could. Imagine someone is about to get hit by a car, you can pull them out of danger. Or someone is trapped in a collapsed building, you can save them. The only thing that would make you a monster is if you didn’t try. If you have the ability to help and don’t that’s what makes monsters, that and people who actively put others in harms way. Actually the latter one is way more of a monster. So as long as you aren’t doing that, you’re fine.”
Chase sat there and wondered to himself. How was this kid so absolutely amazing in every conceivable way? There was a pang of guilt within him towards the end however as he wondered if Ben would look at him differently if he knew how many he'd murdered when his powers awakened. If he knew the reason he was orphaned was because he killed his own family. No, he was a monster, but Ben didn't need to see that part of him. He didn't need to ruin his perception of reality.
Chase slid out from the booth, walking over to Ben's side before he placed one hand down on the table and leaned in to give Ben a kiss. ”You are amazing, you know that? And I think your powers are very cool. You may not be Spiderman, but you're certainly my hero.” He sat down next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders as he gave a half hug.
Ben smiled, he kissed Chase back. He scooted over enough so Chase could sit comfortably next to him. He wrapped his arm around him.
“My parents tried,” he said, his voice suddenly heavy with thoughts about them. “Thank you.” His voice this time was clearer, back to normal. Ben leaned against Chase. He picked up his fork again and took another bite of food.
”So now that we’ve cleared the air on that. What’s the plan for today?”
”Find a dark alley and see where our bodies take us?”
Ben’s eyes went wide. Snogging was fine; he wasn't sure if he was ready for ‘where our bodies take us’. He almost choked on his food. Why was he always eating when Chase said something like that.
”Uh...”
Chase ruffled Ben's hair. ”Its a joke Bug Boi. I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet, as much as my body seemed to want to last night. Lets stick to snogging and when the mood takes you by all means lead the way. But I figured since we have a bit of a drive we can make it to the next destination and try and find a hotel to crash for a quick shower tomorrow morning. Yes, together.” Chase moved his plate closer so that he could begin to eat his food again now that the existential dread was slipping away.
Ben was hot in the face again. He knew his cheeks had to be burning red. ”Okay, that sounds good.”
Location: Camp Lava Lake Trail Head Skills: Singing
”Yaaaas. Can't wait to hear that bell.” Though Demi was skeptical of the choice in food. A quiche? What are they French-Canadian? But he'd take about anything right now, and just hope to Bowie that it's filling. What was more pressing was what the hell did Zeke have to talk to him about? He knew what he wanted, but Zeke? That…scared him. Maybe he'd spoken to Nancy and decided he didn't want to go steady, or maybe he just looked at his sister when he mentioned talking to hint they needed privacy? Maybe talking was code for a hot make out sesh. Demi certainly didn't know, and was apprehensive to find out.
”Zeke you have plenty of time to be embarrassed by your sister and myself later, for now let's leave the lovely ladies alone to nature while we go have a private chat about HAM how to's and don't's.” Demi dragged Zeke away, waving goodbye to Nancy as they went their separate ways. He figured the best place to talk was up where the radio was. It was secluded, small, and fit the cover story well enough. Once they entered the room, Demi closed the door and leaned in it rather nervously. ”OK, time to fess up, I didn't actually want to talk HAM. I mean we can if you want to but that's not why I pulled you up here. I…fuck ok how I put this?” Demi took a deep breath before continuing. ”I didn't want to pester Nancy because I don't need her to feel like she's useless or defective or weak, because she's not, but… I don't worry about what'll happen if she has a seizure. I don't know the proper steps to help or what to do and…what if you're not around when it happens I just…someone else should know, as a back up…I think…”
Ezekiel stumbled back, waving dumbly at his sister and Emily before he was unceremoniously dumped into the small room with the HAM radio. Zeke walked closer to get a better look at it. Behind him, Demi started to ramble. Ezekiel turned around, realizing his boyfriend was starting to spiral. Zeke listened to Demi explain how he wanted to help Nancy, too. Zeke chuckled and shook his head. He closed the distance between them, placed his hands on Demi's cheeks and looked him in the eyes.
”Do shut up,” he said before kissing Demi deeply. After a few moments Zeke pulled back. ”Funnily enough, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Nancy is comfortable with me telling you the dos and don'ts should she seize if I'm not around, and I want you to teach me how to work this contraption,” Zeke said, gesturing to the magic radio box behind them.
Demi froze the instant Zeke kissed him. Staring blankly when he pulled back. ”Wait uh, can you run that by me again my brains all fuzzy. Maybe start with the kiss.”
Ezekiel laughed. ”I said, yes, I can teach you how to help Nancy,” Zeke said and pecked Demi’s lips. ”And I would like you to help me with the HAM radio,” he said with another kiss.
”I feel like it was more of a –” Demi leaned in and kissed Zeke deeply, pushing them onto the table the radio was on. ”Like that. But before we go any further maybe let's talk shop and afterwards I could use my mouth for more than just talking.” His eyes drifted downwards.
Zeke opened his mouth to speak, but Demi continued, looking down suggestively. Zeke blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. ”Yes, preferably no distractions right now,” he said, clearing his throat and shifting away from Demetri.
”Tease. So, “ Demi pulled out his notebook that had been folded in half and tossed into his back pocket, taking a pen from the spiral as he looked at Zeke. ”Lets talk seizures”
Ezekiel grinned at Demi’s preparedness. He almost threw his ‘no-distractions’ notion out the window. How could he not when his boyfriend was ready to take notes on how to care for his sister?
”Okay, how much do you know about seizures in general?”
”Uh…not much? Convulsions, foaming at the mouth, anger…wait that may be rabies…shit.” Demi chewed at the end of his pen as he tried to think.
Ezekiel laughed until tears formed and his stomach hurt. ”Oh my god, brilliant. I’m telling Nancy that. But honestly, you aren’t far off. There are different types of seizures but Nanc has Grand Mal, they are the big ones. She freezes first, and then the spasms can start. The most important thing though, is when she goes into a seizure, you have to turn her onto her side and clear the area around her. Don’t put anything in her mouth, that’ll make it worse, and you can talk to her. The other thing, where the HAM radio would come into play, is if she siezes longer than five minutes. So you can’t leave her side. Time it, and then send someone else to contact the police or hospital.”
Demi stuck his tongue out, concentrating on what Zeke had to say as he wrote down some notes to remember. It was at this point he really wished he had a stopwatch. Maybe Dobbs would be able to snag him one from the store tonight if he asked during breakfast. It felt like a lot to take in, but then again it was a big task caring for anyone having a seizure. Quite literally life or death. That thought scared him. ”Five minutes, ok got it.” If Zeke looked over, the notes were fairly detailed, with a few sketches thrown in to help Demi remember a bit better. Like a stopwatch at 5 minutes, a spoon with an X through it, etc.
Zeke smiled, finding it endearing how diligent Demitri was being when it came to Zeke’s sister. The most important person in his life. He felt a flicker of something in his chest, and he leaned closer to Demi, removing his notebook and pen to take his hands.
”One thing they don’t teach you, though, is how scary it is. And that freaking out won’t help anything. You have to stay calm, and if you can talk calmly to her, that can sometimes help,” Zeke said, squeezing Demi’s hands. ”Don’t touch her either. Especially when she is starting to come back to. She has a hard time already with physical contact, and after a seizure, it is a lot worse. That is where the rabid raccoon comes into play,” Zeke joked.
”The fuckin what now? Jesus I didn't realize how much went into it. OK, so how do I or when do…what…what is the rabid raccoon exactly?”
”Well, when a person siezes it isn’t exactly pretty. She could be drooling, foaming at the mouth, she might clamp her jaw down and bite her lip or cheek, so there would be blood. Most of the time, the person falls unconscious and is unaware of what they are doing, so when Nancy comes to, she might not remember what happened or where she is. If you touch her or an unfamiliar person touches her, she could lash out as a self-defence thing. Just talk to her and try to be as calm as you can. Tell her where she is, what happened, what day it is, if I’m not there where I am, who you are, talk about a movie you watched, stuff that can help reorientate her and settle her nervous system.” Zeke released Demi’s hands so he could write more if he wanted.
That made a lot more sense. Demi wasn't sure where he would even find a rabid racoon if he needed one to aid with seizures. He sighed a bit with relief and the moment Zeke let go of his hands he began to jot more notes down, along with an illustration of both a rapid racoon and godzilla with his breath. ”No Touchy…got it.”
Zeke laughed at Demi's illustrations and nodded. ”Those are all the main points you need to know. Hopefully I'll always be there and can send you running to work this thing,” Zeke said, gesturing to the contraption that was the HAM radio.
”Got it. Wanna take a quick study break before I show you the HAM? I could use a little –” Demi's eyes drifted down once more before making their way back up towards Zeke's eyes. ” – Snack. Love a good meat stick, slim jims, jerky, …you.”
Ezekiel debated on if a break would be a good idea, and he blushed from Demi's words. ”Demetri Howell, are you objectifying me?”
”I wouldn't say that no. More of a curious admiration about your body. But I wouldn't say I'm objectifying you. If you don't want to however…” Demi pulled out his notebook and began to flip back towards his notes on the radio.
Ezekiel chuckled, resting hand on Demi's notebook. ”He's not objectifying me and yet he likens my dick to a meat stick.” Ezekiel tugged the notebook out of Demi's hand and set it aside.
”Its meat, its a stick, its a meat stick. I don't know what you wanted from that.” Demi responded as he found the correct page before Zeke took the book away. ”Ugh testing my memory before we've even eaten? So rude.”
”’Hey Zeke, can I suck your cock?’ That works just as well,” Zeke said, stepping closer to Demi.
”May I. It's May I, not Can I.” Demi remarked as he scooted closer, getting down on a knee.
”Oh, so he’s good at taking instructions and English. There’s so much I don’t know about you, Howell,” Zeke said, feeling a warming sensation pooling in the bottom of his stomach while he watched Demi get down on a knee. Instinctively, Zeke’s eyes flickered to the door, making sure it was shut before he looked back at Demi.
”Only when I feel like it. Rules and instructions are meant to be bent and broken. Like you.” Demi rolled his eyes, getting up and taking the chair in the room before propping it at an angle against the door so no one could get in. ”Calm down Kel, no one's coming in.”
Zeke visibly relaxed once the chair was in place. ”You underestimate me and my sister. Neither one of us are apart for long,” Zeke informed Demi.
”Get used to it, unless you only want quickies for the rest of time.” Demi sighed, a bit of laughter coloring his words.
Zeke sighed and leaned back against the table. He ran a hand through his hair as his demeanor shifted. ”Ya, it's a lot easier than it sounds,” he said, crossing his arms and staring at the floor. ”Do you have siblings?” Zeke asked.
Demi laughed, a very quick and abrupt Ha, before he crossed his arms as well. ”Only child, and thank goodness because even that seems to be too much for my parents.”
Zeke looked up at Demi, frowning slightly. ”What do you mean?”
”Nothing. Forget it.”
Zeke dropped his arms and walked over to Demetri, placing his hands on his arms. ”Demi, you can talk to me, okay?”
”No duh. But there's nothing to talk about ok? Just another punk kid who's daddy doesn't love him and who's mother would rather pretend the families happy than make any real change. Woe is me.” Demi rolled his eyes.
Ezekiel frowned. ”You don't need to brush that off, okay? You're allowed to be upset or pissed off by it.”
”And I'm allowed to brush it off. Seriously, it's not like it's unusual ok? Besides, negligent parents is how I scored the beer. So it's not all bad.”
Zeke sighed but nodded. It wasn't his life, but it still bothered Zeke that he couldn't help. Or that Demi didn't want his help.
”Alright, can you show me how the radio works then?”
For the past day, Percy Novikov had been a captive of the California Asylum for the Genetically Enhanced.
And he was about to lose his fucking mind.
His time had been filled with medical examinations on how his detox was going, individual therapy sessions with Dr. Whitehall, group therapy sessions, informational sessions on the dangers of substance abuse, so called ‘unstructured free time’ that was definitely structured as there had been a required activity, and meals that resembled animal scat more than they did food. He was already tired of the periodic room checks throughout the night, where orderlies shined flashlights on him to make sure he hadn’t killed himself or attempted to. And the numbness that had settled into his bones from the power dampeners was infuriating. Not only could he not text or see his boyfriend, but he couldn’t feel him either - couldn’t feel the tiny traces of Dorian lurking within him.
The largest offense, of course, was that he could not read.
He could only read in English, Russian, Yiddish, and Hebrew. It was cruel and unusual punishment unlike anything he had ever heard of before. How was a person supposed to live with only four languages at their grasp? Yes, he had a large stack of Asgardian erotica in English that he had acquired on his trip with Leah and Dorian, and yes, he hadn’t finished more than three of them, but it was the principle of it all. He wanted to be able to read without limits - not be forced to experience the fall of Babel!
And as his stay was due to be so short, he wasn’t allowed any visitors, either.
His jaw was clenched as he paced back and forth, angrily turning the next page in his book as he read in the day room. When he got out of here, he was burning this place to the ground. He knew an excitable pyromaniac who probably wouldn’t ask too many questions.
There seemed to be no shortage of new and younger supply at CAGE recently. August watched as the tiny new inmate paced back and forth, spying the cover of the book he was reading as he saw the photo of a muscular Norse looking guy embracing another more slender man. It looked like the trashy romance novels he'd see in bookstores in a bargain bin, except more…exotic, as if Thor himself was the star of it. All that smut and no outlet would make anyone mad enough to pace. So he decided, as he did will all newcomers, to introduce himself and help him out.
August made his way over to Percy, silently, stealthily, as he began to keep pace and pace alongside him. Hands behind his back and staring at the pages Percy was reading, though he couldn't read it himself.
For longer than Percy would have cared to admit, he didn’t notice his shadow keeping pace by his side. He was so absorbed in what he was reading, the words flowing from the page to his mind and painting the scene with little to no effort. Bjørn was about to find Magnus in Einar’s bed, and his pulse had quickened with anticipation. It was trashy slop, yes, but at least it was engaging garbage. He turned the page, about to reach the climax of the encounter when he finally noticed the other boy.
Immediately, Percy took several steps back, and snapped the book shut.
“Can I help you?” he snapped.
August stepped closer, clearly unaware of what personal space meant. Looking down at the book, back at Percy, and then lower than the book, before finally his eyes met Percy's once more and he smiled. ”I don't know can you? I mean, I certainly could help you. You seem pent up, are you? Is the book any good, got any pictures in it? Id loooove it if there was some photos to go with the story you know what I mean?” August winked at Percy.
Percy’s eyes widened, as he quickly adjusted his hoodie. It was too big for him, which helped with camouflaging a certain area. And then for good measure, he held the book below his waist as well. He was speechless for a moment though at how forward the other boy was. Had it been Dorian, he would have said yes in a heartbeat. “I am not,” he huffed. “And there are not any pictures, it’s a book.” There were definitely pictures.
”What? That's so lame!” August reached forward at the books new location, snatching it out of Percy's hands as he quickly began to flip through it. Spying a few pics within the pages. His eyes widened a bit at the graphic content before looking back at Percy. ”Yo, its ok slow reader, there's pics later on look.” He turned the book for Percy to see, a steamy scene depicted one the pages about what had been written on the page next to it. August whistled, impressed at the sight. ”Hot stuff. Papi”
“Give that back!” Percy demanded, his face rapidly turning bright red. He tried to grab the book back, but August was a little too quick for him. He huffed. If he’d had his powers, he would have teleported with his book as far away as he could - or even borrowed Dorian’s to telekinetically grab it back. “That’s not yours.”
”Hey no worries. Id only use the pics anyways. Between you and me, I cant really read. Words keep flying off the pages, makes it hard tk understand any of it. But this? I could get behind this. Or you. Or both.” August smiled, handing back the book with the page still open to the pseudo pornographic image.
Percy was sweating as he took the book back, and practically slammed it shut. He should have just read in his room. He shouldn’t have come to the day room to see if they had anything more interesting to browse through on the shelves. Maybe this was his punishment for being a teenage alcoholic. “I have a boyfriend. He’s the jealous type.”
”And I have Depression. Whats your point?”
Just depression? Somehow Percy doubted that was everything wrong with this kid. “It means I’m not interested.”
”Riiiiight. So how long you in for? What're you in for?”
“Why would I tell you that?” He took another step back away from August.
August took another step forward, a little too close as something pressed against him and his eyes darted down before meeting Percy's again. ”Why wouldn't you? No one here judges, we'll except the orderlies. But we're all in here for something, me its more fun than anything, and they supply so it's not all bad. Besides, was curious how long you were here cuz you may be doing a one handed salute for a bit then.”
Percy practically jumped backwards, feeling like he’d been electrocuted as August pressed up against him. He tripped over the table leg, landing onto the beaten up old couch. “You’re deranged,” Percy muttered. But August was between him and the exit. “I’m here because I drink.”
”You might be more skittish than April was, and that's saying something. She grew a whole birds nest overnight atop her head.” August held his hand out to help Percy up if he wanted to. But as Percy mentioned why he was here, he got in close, really looking at Percy's face, inspecting it. ”What is your skincare routine. I thought you were younger than drinking age. That's, well we don't like to use the C word around here.”
“I don’t like being touched.” Percy refused the offered hand. Of course this kid knew April. He was mentally kicking himself for not asking Dorian to ask his sister for a list of people to avoid at CAGE. And as August got in closer, he felt the familiar swell of energy build up in him - only it had nowhere to go. No blue energy to release and escape. He was pressing himself into the couch as much as he could to increase the distance between them. “That’s because I am younger than the drinking age. Are you happy now? Will you leave me alone?”
”Why didn't you say so! I didn't know you were no touchy my man. It's cool.” August pulled back his hand and plopped onto the couch, his legs crossing over Percy's lap but never actually touching it or him as he kept his knees bent. ”So you're younger but drinking and reading smut? Wild work papi. You're like, so cool.”
Percy shifted as far away from August on the couch as he could. His thoughts flashed back to how hurt Dorian had been, how much pain his mothers had been in. Drinking didn’t feel cool. Not anymore. Maybe a month ago he might have agreed with the other boy, but not now. The thought of liquor made his stomach churn, as much as he still craved it. It was desperation for poison. “It’s not cool,” he argued. “The drinking. The erotica isn’t a problem. It didn’t break my boyfriend’s heart like the alcohol did.”
”May have broken his back with the tent you're pitching. But that's true, I guess if it was cool you wouldn't be here huh?” August was quiet for a second, which was a miracle to anyone who knew him. ”Hey, sorry it hurt him though, that had to be rough for you both.”
He was practically on the armrest of the couch now. Percy glared slightly at the comment about breaking Dorian’s back. He didn’t really like talking about his sex life with other people - of course, it was different when his boyfriend would tease him and rile him up, but otherwise he liked to keep that behind closed doors. They’d already been unlucky enough to have another student walk in on them during their first time.
“… Yeah. His father’s an addict, too,” Percy said quietly. “I don’t know if he’ll ever be able to forgive me.”
August lifted his legs and spun in place, leaning back so that his head now rested atop Percy's lap, fully ignoring any extra movement he may find from literature. ”Damn, I mean they do say you end up with people who resemble your parents. But I'm sure he'll forgive you, i mean you're putting in the work here right? Doing all your little activities and checking all the boxes, you're trying to make right and that's got to be worth something right? Me? I've got nobody, last anyone knew of me I was doing clinical tries before the whole lab exploded. Next thing I know I'm here for my Depression. Not that I mind but…none of my families even visited me. I miss my sister so much. Now she was the coolest.”
Percy gasped sharply, and immediately sprung up off the couch, not caring if it sent August tumbling. He moved so quickly to the other end of the room that for a second, he thought his powers had managed to break through the dampening field. He wasn’t finding it particularly hard to believe that no one wanted to visit this boy. “You don’t seem depressed,” he snapped. “You seem insane. Do you do this to everyone who comes here - harass them until they run screaming? No wonder you have no one.”
August lay there on the floor, a smile partially still on his face but a deep set sadness in his eyes. He rubbed the back of his head as he sat up on the floor and remained there, legs crossed over one another now. ”I'm not depressed. I have Depression. Very different things. But yeah…I guess it is no wonder why huh? Parents never thought much of me, I couldn't do well enough in school, and the only person who ever truly believed in me was Gideon…but she's too busy playing hero now to care about me I guess.”
Dorian wanted him to try to be nicer to people.
Percy sighed slightly.
He didn’t feel super bad - but… he did feel a little bad. A tiny singular atom’s worth of guilt. The other boy was clearly unwell and he didn’t need Percy’s tongue adding to his issues. It felt like kicking a sick dog. So as much as he wanted nothing more than to flee from the room with his book and continue to read about the complex relationship between Magnus and Bjørn in peace, he knew his boyfriend wanted him to try to be a better person.
Being a hero was annoying.
“Wait… Gideon?” He frowned. There weren’t that many girls named Gideon. “Overtly sexual, incredibly dim, always wears glasses? Obsessed with swords and muscles? That Gideon?”
”Yes! I mean she has a light sensitivity so the glasses thing isn't really her fault, but its still dope! Wait, don't tell me, she's made it big?! She's an honest to Cap superhero already? Oh I'm so proud of her! No wonder I haven't seen her she's too busy saving the world.”
“Erm, no. She was disqualified for failing her English class… despite the principal giving all of us A’s for the semester after a near death experience.”
August slumped back down, practically melting into the floor. ”Oh…”
“… She has a girlfriend though.”
”Oh? That's good, I'm happy for her. I'm glad to know she's doing ok.”
“Well… she did almost die. But she seems fine.” Percy didn’t know almost anything about Gideon. He considered for a moment if he ought to just lie to August and tell him a list of incredible things his sister had done.
August laughed at Percy's comment. Wiping a tear from his eye. ”Awe man, thanks I needed that Papi. Things were getting a little too serious around here and we can't have that. Oh man, almost died, you're so funny.”
Yes. August was definitely deranged. Percy almost pitied him. At least he seemed to be feeling better.
He cleared his throat slightly. “My name isn’t Papi.”
”Be weird if it was. Who names their kid daddy?” August studied Percy's face for a second, wondering if he truly thought Gideon had almost died. Then again, he figured if this kid didn't know he wouldn't tell him. Maybe Gideon wanted it to be a secret, like some upper hand shit that would make villains go ‘Woah so cool totally thought you were dead and you're still standing! Wha-? No way!’
For a moment, a pang of sadness hit Percy as he heard the translation. The two words shouldn’t have sounded different to him. It was like a prick of pain in a phantom limb. “My name’s Percy.” He did not want August calling him daddy. He didn’t want anyone calling him that. He didn’t even call Dorian that.
August snapped his fingers and finger gunned Percy before clapping his hands. ”Moanable, love it! But I'll stick with Papi, it's less syllables.” It was not.
Percy’s jaw dropped.
He didn’t know how to respond to that.
”Close that mouth papi, you have a boyfriend remember? Unless you're open, then keep it open please.”
Percy had never shut his mouth so quickly in his life.
”Rude. Your little friend seemed to like me earlier.”
“Absolutely not!” he protested, his face positively burning up.
”Geeze relax, you're wound up tighter than…than…something that winds up super tight! I'm only messing with you, and it finally got you to actually say words. Besides you seem more…ah nevermind.” August waved it away.
Percy’s eyebrows furrowed. “I seem more what?”
”Ya’know” August gestured to all of Percy.
“I don’t…know.”
”Oh. Well now thats awkward. I thought maybe, I mean you just seemed so…and you read too so…”
Percy frowned. “What?” If there was one thing that drove him madder than not having his powers, it was the feeling of information being withheld from him - even if that information came from a lunatic twink.
August looked to his left, his right, then at Percy. His hands hand been grabbing his ankles as he sat criss cross on the floor, one of his hands moving up to motion for Percy to come closer to him.
He stared at him for a moment.
This was stupid.
Percy took a single step forward.
August motioned more frantically, clearly indicating he needed to be right next to him.
“No. You can tell me from here.”
”I guess you won't know then.”
He huffed. He really thought about leaving. It would be so easy. He could go back to reading his book. He wouldn’t have to think about whatever was going through this kid’s head. He could be free.
But as stupid a mystery as this was, it was still a mystery.
“No touching,” he said, before walking up to August.
”Just a little touching. You cant not touch when whispering a secret. Also…maybe a little lick, technically I should've done so waaaaay before to make sure you weren't an enemy, I mean that alone would tell me your problems based on your flavour, Depressions really good about figuring those things out like that.” August was smiling wide as he nodded happily.
“A… a lick?!” Percy practically screeched. “Do you know how disgusting that is?! My flavor?! No, no, absolutely not. Never in a million years. Never in a million lifetimes! Keep - keep your tongue in your mouth and away from me!”
Percy flinched back, a slight move that August instinctively locked into like a predator to its prey. He hadn't meant to, not fully, but the sudden motioned caused his tongue to lash out quickly, an easy 12 inch clearance of a gap quickly closed in on as his tongue elongated and licked the side of Percy's face. ”Shit, sorry P–” August stopped mid sentence, who knew if he'd've say Percy or Papi, the word lost on his lips as he began to smack them for a moment. A full body shudder as the taste of Bourbon overwhelmed him for a moment.
”Bourbon…but what's…what's underneath it, something…no, someone else.” August gasped. ”Do you also have a Depression?” He whispered to Percy as he tried to make sense of the other person's flavour coming in before it faded away and revealed a third flavour. Such a complex profile Percy had. ”Oooo wait, there's a third flavour too, it's sort of like, you know those mystery flavour bags? Kinda like that. Oh! Puzzling!” He looked back at Percy and nodded. ”No yeah that last one makes a lot of sense. Especially with the no touching. You probably don't like certain textures huh?”
Percy screamed as an inhuman tongue shot out and licked him. He immediately tried to scrub any residue off of his face with the sleeve of his hoodie, sacrificing poor Kirby for his own comfort. He was frozen in place, startled like a deer in the headlights. Not only had he been licked, but the other boy was… he didn’t even know where to start. How did he know bourbon was his poison of choice? And another person… Dorian? Could he taste quantum entanglement?! And what did he mean that that last one?!
“I… what… yes? I can’t - I can’t stand burlap,” he stammered. “What - I - explain. Now.”
”Buuurlap. That'll do it, yeah. Oh! Yeah, it's my Depression. I can figure things out about people when I lick them, especially if they're a threat or not to me. You're…undecided.” August beamed, smiling brightly as if he'd done a good job.
Percy stared at him for a good, long while. Ordinarily, he would have dismissed what August was trying to tell him. Even a cold reader might have gotten lucky with bourbon. And jumping from touch averse to sensory issues? Hardly a lucky guess. The someone else was more intriguing than the rest. Even with their newfound notoriety, Percy doubted the details of the entanglement had been made public. Not that it seemed like August kept up with the news. Otherwise, he would have known that Gideon didn’t compete.
“Tell me more about the someone else you tasted.”
”See, normally when there's a split with people they're like a creamsicle, or sometimes way more than that, like an everything milkshake. But you…it was a distinctly different taste, like there was a different person inside of you. Your very own Depression, like I have, another being within you. The taste was faint though, and these things work better if I lick the other person instead. Its like youre asking me to figure out a dish that's already been licked clean off the plate. I can get pieces but not the whole.”
He was quiet for a moment, contemplating. “Tell me about your Depression, then.”
August scooched closer to Percy. No one had ever been interested in hearing about Depression, not earnestly. ”I could just hug you! But i won't because you're mystery flavour, but I could. I haven't always had Depression, not till my last clinical trial. It was weird and I mean weird weird. There were tanks with people in them, jars full of who knows what, the drugs were great, made things a bit fuzzy though, then an explosion, I was gonna die…lots of glass in me you see? But then Depression merged with me and it turns out he likes the drugs too. I must've made it just outside the building when a van came and took me away. Next thing I know Im here. They supply me with the food he needs and the drugs I like, and…everyone's happy I guess? He's just overprotective of me, takes care of me. I mean, I'm nothing like Gideon, I have no powers, talents, I'm not even immortal. Everything special about me came from a jar.”
Percy scrunched up his face. Yes, August was in an insane asylum. But at the same time, there were tons of heroes who got their powers from unethical lab experiments. Dorian went on about them all the time. He couldn’t dismiss this at face value. And at the same time, he was curious… Was August entangled with something? Just a further stage than he and Dorian had reached?
“Is Depression a name? Or are you referring to the mental illness characterized with profound sadness?” Percy asked, as he stood up and started to pace.
August cocked his head to the side, his smile still wide and on display. ”Papi, do I look depressed to you? It's a name. Keep up.”
“I’d say you look clinically insane, but I digress. Can I speak to Depression or can he only speak through you?” he asked, continuing to pace. “How big is Depression? Does Depression consume energy? You mentioned the medication here is good for him.”
August placed a finger on his lip as he began to think. ”Yes/No, variable, technically, and yes it gives him the nutrients needed to survive. Technically I can find it in two other places but this is the cheaper and more…humane option.” He scooted even closer.
Percy walked a little further away from August. He didn’t want to step on him. The first answer wasn’t much of an answer at all - although, it implied some sort of conditions or change in state in Depression. Variable size? He frowned. Was Depression liquid or a gas - did he take the shape or size of his container? August had mentioned tanks. Perhaps he was a fluid. “What’s the less humane option?” He wished he had one of his notebooks with him. “Can other people see Depression?” And then he blinked slightly, realizing that this didn’t have to be a game of twenty questions. “Forgive me. What is Depression? I should have started there.”
”Can't say, technically yes but we don't allow it. Aaaaaannnd I couldn't tell you. There was a label on the jar but again, I can't read.” August had taken to grabbing his toes, legs still crossed as he sat on the floor and rocked front to back and side to side on his butt. ”Unfortunately you're an unknown, no real threat level but something I can fully toss aside too sooo I can't really tell you much. Not that the orderlies here even listen to me but sometimes, I feel like people are watching me.” The last part was a whisper, August having quickly gotten up and whispered it in Percy's ear step enough his breath could be felt. He then pulled away himself as he giggled and laid across the couch.
He flinched as he felt August’s breath on his ear, and immediately, his temper began to flare up once more. He was about to lash out when he caught himself, a new volley of insults on the tip of his tongue, and he stopped. T’ats not w’at ‘eroes do Dorian would have said - or something along the lines. The accent was more difficult to parse without his powers and it infuriated him even more. He took a deep breath. He kept oscillating between being intrigued by August’s mystery and angry about the blatant lack of respect for personal space and boundaries. He still hadn’t gotten over the fact that he licked him.
“Is Depression hurting you?” he decided to ask next. There were a lot of questions that August couldn’t fully answer. “What is Depression afraid of?”
August had moved to laying upside down on the couch now, hair gently brushing against the floor as he blew raspberries at Percy. ”No he isn't hurting me. He protects me, are you not listening? It pays to listen. I never said Depression was afraid, I…a lot happened at the last trial ok? I'm not ready to face those people again. I can't. I won't. I tried hard to get money to help my family, that's all I wanted, I couldn't even do that right.”
He frowned. The response was… unsettling. Percy stopped in his pacing, and sat down next to August on the couch. “Do you need help?” This was all Dorian’s fault.
”In more ways than one.”
Percy nodded. “Okay. I am leaving here in a few days, and I will get you help. What’s your name?”
”August Perlman. But you can call me anytime Papi.” August went to go pat Percy's knee, but being upside-down really messed with his perception, making him miss completely and patting Percy's crotch instead. He giggled ”Weird knee man.”
“Nope, nope, no - absolutely not - I wanted to try to do the right thing but no - I can’t do this - this is… no,” Percy leapt off of the couch once more, regretting every choice he had made that brought him to this place. He took his book and practically sprinted to the exit, throwing one last glance at August over his shoulder, before rushing off to the safety of his next appointment with Dr. Whitehall.
In a few days, everyone would be leaving the school to head home with their families. Normally, Leah would have just filled a backpack with a few important things and gone north to the Cascades, and minded her own business among the mountains and volcanic ranges. She got caught hiding under the school her first year, but Mount Rainier was always nice this time of year. It was cold during the Big Dark, but the volcano was always pretty likely to erupt, so she usually just camped out near a hot area and used her powers to smooth things over when it was time to go home. Depending on what time of year it was, she might not even go that far. But now that Jen had taken her in, doing that wasn’t so easy. Now, she had an actual home to sleep in. Four walls and a roof in a city.
No more fucking off away from civilization, into the cold and bitter wilderness of the Pacific Northwest, with the hope that no one would actually notice the fact she legally didn’t exist. Not that it was terrible, even if her rock collection was missing a few pieces of tephra.
So instead of quietly preparing for that, Leah sat in the library. In front of her were two stacks of books, one visibly taller than the other, since she’d been here a while. Her runes, a notebook and a pen were on the table in front of her.
She had no idea what time it was, and didn’t think to check.
It had been a hard day for Percy. He was still ruminating over the conversation with his mothers, and the decision that they’d reached. But if he was going to be going to rehab, he wouldn’t be arriving empty handed. He had read all his books and would need more. Especially given the power blockers in effect at the facility - they’d need to be in English or Russian… a limitation that upset him almost more than the prospect of treatment. He had pursued most of the library’s mythology section for Greco-Roman, and as much as he preferred things that were closer to primary texts, he could make do. He’d barely scratched the surface of Norse myth, and given the abundance of Asgardians who walked this world, it had the added benefit of being practical.
There was, of course, just one problem. He had come armed with a list of twenty books he wanted. And five of them were missing. He blinked in and out of the stacks, double and triple and quadruple checking, but it was no use. They weren’t there. He was about to ask the librarian if she could confirm for him again that they even had those titles when out of the corner of his eye, he saw them. Sitting neatly in a stack, just for him!
Sitting neatly in a stack in front of Leah.
His jaw dropped slightly. He didn’t know she read.
He stared at her for a moment. And then at the books.
Could he just ask her for them?
Why did she have them?
He clutched the fifteen books he had found a little more protectively in the tote bag he used to transport them. What if Leah asked him for his books?
He blinked. And then, slowly, he walked forward. He stopped right in front of her. Cleared his throat. And with all the social grace of a worm, asked, “why do you have those?”
Leah glanced up over the books and gave Percy a look. ”They’re called books. They contain words in different languages, and sometimes people read them for the information they keep. And- Why do you have those?”
Percy frowned. “I know what a book is… Is that new information for you?” He then shifted his grip on his tote, holding onto it a little tighter - as if he could beat Leah in a contest of strength if it came to it. “They’re for reading. They cover Norse myth and examine how Asgardian lore departs from it. For example, one of these titles is entirely dedicated to tracing Odin’s lineage and its many mythological discrepancies - for instance, Loki and Odin are sworn blood brothers according to myth, rather than adopted son and father. Furthermore, Loki is held in chains and would not be freed until the events of Ragnarok, which have not yet come to pass - he isn’t meant to be terrorizing the Avengers.”
”And, furthermore, neither are his kids,” Leah added. ”I’m reading these things because apparently there’s a whole other world I’m from, that I know next to nothing about. I actually like reading, Percy. I just don’t usually broadcast it.”
Percy stared at her for a moment.
And then he opened up his tote bag, placed his books on the table, and sat down next to her. “Do you know where the debate comes from on whether Hel - or Hela - is his sister or his daughter? I’m much more versed in Greek myth. This is a new area for me. I dislike most translations, but I’m attempting to prioritize texts written in English or Russian for today.”
”...Depends on where you look.” Leah slid one of the books from the bigger stack to him. ”A long, long time ago, people didn’t really know the other eight of the Nine Realms existed. They were just gods and monsters and things that people didn’t physically meet. Back when Vikings still existed, the stories weren’t written down until Snorri’s time.”
She was awfully quick to jump on the chance to talk about this with someone.
Percy had to fight the urge to pounce on the book, instead allowing himself to instead just eagerly grab it. The harder urge to fight was to immediately begin reading it to digest all of this information. Why hadn’t he talked to Leah about this before? He was kicking himself for lost time. They’d won the contest of champions and defeated Arcade together and he couldn’t remember a single one on one conversation. “Where would you look, then?” he asked, before pulling three books in particular out, “I found these in the school’s collection, but I’m not familiar with these scholars - I’m not sure if they have any real merit to them or if it’s just sensationalist drivel designed to push Thor merchandise at the end of the day.”
”That’s… Yeah, that’s the problem. There’s actual history, the myth, and there’s Thor. A few of the books I found were just about Thor himself, but there’s also Thor the god who stories were passed down about. So… I’d just look in this library for now. That’s not helping me much, though. I’d hoped there’d be more about Jotunheim, but it’s mostly Asgard. Most of what I found was general Norse myth and history, and some stuff that actually separates them but- It’s still a lot to sift through.”
Leah flipped a few pages in the notebook she had. ”I wrote a few down. The myths and what actually happened are different, but there’s some overlap.”
Percy frowned, and tapped his fingers on the table. Leah had a good point. The collection here wasn’t sufficient by any means. Ostensibly, the most accurate records for not just Asgard but also Jotunheim would not be found on Earth. He scrunched his face up. The logistics were hard. His teleporting was better than before, having been so proven by Dorian during the contest, but a jump to Asgard seemed exceedingly difficult still. However… they did happen to know a wizard now. Or perhaps America would be willing to help them, albeit she’d likely have to take them to another universe first. Or… could Leah use the Bifrost? Was that travel available to giants?
“Do you think Heimdall would answer you if you called out for passage to Asgard? They must have better books and records there - I don’t know if Jotunheim has any libraries, but I’ve seen mentions of Odin’s archive - both as a collection of knowledge and a site of battles.” He then stopped tapping his fingers. “Or we could ask Mr. Gray if he could send us.”
Leah’s face lit up. ”...Heimdall? I mean- I dunno. Lots of what I’ve read so far suggests Asgard doesn’t really like giants, but I really don’t see many books here about that. It’s all mostly Asgard-centric. But we could try. I- Do you want to? I guess if we can get there, we can get back, right?”
Percy nodded eagerly. This definitely wasn’t at all motivated by the fact he was supposed to report to rehab in the morning. A spontaneous trip to Asgard - or even Jotunheim - sounded absolutely fantastic. “Hmm. Maybe we should ask Mr. Gray then, if Asgard isn’t fond of giants. But I am definitely interested in this, Leah. I think we should go as soon as possible - right now, even.” And then he hesitated. Would Max see through this? But then he decided he didn’t care.
”Right now? As in now? Well… Oh, damn, what time is it? Yeah, I guess that’s okay.” Leah eagerly stood up, grabbed her things and then collected some of the books. ”We can’t stay too long, though. I have some stuff I need to do, and I still need to call the Scarlet Witch about that thing. Let me put a few of these away- You think we can get copies over there? They surely have a bookstore or two, maybe.”
“Oh we should keep them. I’d like to read them anyways - even bad scholarship can be of interest at times,” Percy excused quickly. He wasn’t going to tell Leah that it was motivated by the fact that come tomorrow, he wouldn’t be able to read Asgardian texts - he imagined that the All Tongue didn’t translate to paper, or perhaps it would?
I’ll text Mr. Gray and see if he can make us a portal now then?”
”Uh…” She looked at the empty shelf, then back at the books.
”Yeah. Do that.”
Percy pulled out his phone, and shot off two texts in quick succession -
Dear Mr. Gray,
I hope this finds you well. I am writing to inquire whether you would provide a portal from the library of the Margaret Carter Institute to Asgard - specifically, its finest accessible archives. Ms. Jordan and I are hoping to pursue the records located there, as the ones at our school are unfortunately insufficient.
Kind regards, P. Novikov
My darling Dorian,
Would you do me the honor of accompanying Leah and myself on a brief adventure to Asgard and perhaps Jotunheim? If you find yourself too busy, then perhaps you might find some time for us to be with one another before I must depart in the morning.
Yours truly, Percy
Leah sent her own messages.
Going to jotunheim adn asgard beback soon wont be longbring you back a cool rock bye
Me adn percy are goingt o asgard and jotunhiem. be back before tomorrow bye
have fun be safe!!! Lemme know if you need money for food or anything!!!
im rich remember
lollll do you know rhe exchange rate
do you
lmao nope
Back at the Kingston-Gray House, Max was in the kitchen grabbing himself a small snack as he heard his phone buzz against the wooden counter. He spied the message as his magic moved his phone closer to him. ”Hmph.” His free hand waved across the air as a calendar was moved from one section of the house to the wall before him. Circled in red was the next day.
”Novikov's first day of Rehab.”
A reminder to keep an eye on his son given how his emotions may run. Curious though that they would be asking for an adventure out into deep space just a day before. Fine. But not without some due precautions, otherwise Novikova may actually murder him. He cleared some space in the kitchen for some extra travelers before opening a portal beneath Percy and Leah's feet. The pair of them would drop down, instantly, briefly seeing the rainbow bridge of Asgard before magic swept across them again and landed them within the kitchen of the Kingston-Gray's. A small taste of what they would witness should they comply with his demands.
From up above a squeal could be heard coming from Dorian's room, the sound of thunder roaring down the stairs as he began to speak a mile a minute asking his father if he could go to Asgard with Percy before noticing that both he and Leah were standing in their kitchen. Dorian cleared his throat, waving meekly at the pair of them embarrassed.
Leah was really, really not used to teleporting. She felt the ground disappear and nearly fell flat on her face.
”Jesus Christ- That’s worse than when Strange does it… Uh- Hi… Dorian.” She shook her head, the portal made her dizzy.
Percy’s eyes were still a bit wide with wonder at the sight of the rainbow bridge - and unlike Leah, he didn’t suffer the same sickness from the teleport. His heart had fallen slightly when the sight was taken away, but the moment he saw Dorian his face flushed, almost in shame. It was embarrassing how much he missed his boyfriend already. He nonchalantly tried to signal that he wanted very much to hold Dorian’s hand, but it came across almost as more of a nervous tic.
“Erm… Bonjour, Monsieur Gray. Comment-allez vous aujourd’hui? J’espère bien?” he asked, the sudden nerves of seeing the mage hitting him, as his language stumbled into French.
Max waved the calendar away from the kids before picking up a drink from the fridge. ”I'm doing fine Mr. Novikov, though I am curious about this most…daring trip you wish to go on. The famed Halls of Asgard? Very interesting location to wish to see. Had I more time i could've called in a few Asgardians to aid in whatever it is you wished to see. I have two students, brothers, at my school right now. There is also a wonderful kid from Jotunheim taking course there, I'm sure at least one of their parents wouldn't of minded helping teach more youth about them. Actually I believe we have a school trip planned later to visit the Realm of the God's, would only that you could wait.”
Max took a sip before sitting up on the counter and giving Leah a warm smile. ”Ms. Jordan. Apologies for the rough portal, I'd had meant to send you straight there but there are a few formalities that must occur first before I could. I assume you're looking to find more information about who you are or where you came from?”
”Yeah. I wasn’t born here, apparently. Or if I was, I don’t remember it. I’ve been reading what I can, but a lot of the stuff I find’s Asgard-centric or just… Not much. Which makes sense, because this is Earth.”
She had always thought she was a mutant, until recently. ”Going there was Percy’s idea, and it sounds like a good one. I would’ve just found a way to open a portal myself instead of troubling you, but he’s in a hurry for some reason.”
Percy shifted uncomfortably. He was beginning to wish they had just gambled on Heimdall’s cooperation. He hated the way that Mr. Gray looked at him - as if every action he made was painfully transparent. So he stared at Max’s nose instead, mimicking eye contact yet avoiding it. “Leah’s waited long enough for answers,” he offered. “And the Margaret Carter library doesn’t have a single volume on Jotunheim, which is absolutely criminal - they might as well stock the shelves with Little Golden Books, they would amount to the same substance.”
”They make those you know? Little Golden Books for Jotunheim.” He teased.
Dorian looked at his father. ”Pleeeaaaasssseeee? We'll be super careful! I doubt we'll start an intergalactic war! We'll be good, I promise!”
Max let out a small sigh. ”Unfair bringing my son into this, it makes it so much harder for me to deny your request. But Leah does deserve some answers, not until after I bestow some gifts. If anything was to happen to you, your mothers would kill me.” He stepped forward, placing an enchantment on each of them, one by one. Dorians and Leahs would allow them to contact Max should they need a quick escape back, but Percy's would forcefully teleport him back into this kitchen after 24hrs were up. ”You get one day, no more no less.” Andy hourglass appeared on the kitchen counter, sand falling down slowly. ”When the last grain falls, you will be here. That is all I can offer you for now. Sound fair?”
”Huh. You going to jail tomorrow, or something?” Leah asked.
Percy looked at the floor, his jaw clenched.
She looked at Max. ”...He’s going to jail.”
”Nothing so harsh as that. He's going on a trip, one his mother worked very hard for and I believe she deserves him to be there. I do not tread on family matters, thats how one ruins relations.”
He balled his hands into fists. He wished he had said yes, he was going to prison. In many ways it felt like he was. “My mothers are sending me to rehab tomorrow,” he muttered.
”Oh.” Leah felt bad for asking. ”Oh… That’s- Uh. That’s rough. Sorry. Wait a damn minute- Is that why we’re going?”
Dorian was grateful that his father had tried to save face for Percy, but his jaw dropped as Percy came out and said exactly what it was. Then again, the first step to fixing your problem is to admit that you have one.
”I mean- I get it. I don’t like admitting I need help either. But you could’ve said something. Actually, no, I wouldn’t have said something either. Are we actually going, or…”
Percy’s eye twitched. He contemplated teleporting as far away from everyone as he could and crawling into a hole from which he would never emerge. This all felt like a mistake. He kept his gaze fixed on the floor. “It’s fine. I’m not an alcoholic, so I will be able to leave quickly.”
Dorians jaw clenched as his boyfriend said he was fine. His gaze dropping down to the floor as well. ”T’e first step is admittance, you know t’at right? You ‘ave to actually admit and believe you ‘ave a problem ot’erwise it can't be resolved…”
Leah wasn’t good with people. She was wondering if she should just wait outside for… This. But Percy said something she didn’t like.
”Percy. I used to tell myself that a lot, you know. Not sure what you’re dealing with, but problems don’t go away when you pretend they aren’t there,” She said, fidgeting with her hair. ”It took me longer than I’m gonna admit, but I’m working on it. If- If it helps, I’m going somewhere soon too. Not rehab, but probably to CAGE to talk with Whitehall. Remember her? If you’re going there… I’ll come see you.”
His eye twitched again.
He should have kept his temper under control - but he was terrified. And hearing Leah name the very place he was being sent to… the same doctor who would doubtlessly be talking to… and the disappointment in Dorian’s voice. He felt like the walls were closing in around him. Like everyone was about to go against him.
And he broke.
“I do not have a problem,” his voice was desperate, rather than angry - and in a flash, his powers ejected him from the house and placed him in the middle of the street outside.
Leah just knitted her fingers together and gave Max an unsurprised look.
”He’ll get there. I wasn’t any different.”
Max gave Leah a knowing look. He stared off towards the direction Percy was likely to have gone before looking back towards Leah again. ”I've no doubt in my mind that he will. This isn't the families first struggle with consumption, it's always hard at first, but having friends and family to lend a hand, people he can rely on to stand up to him the way you just did, that will help immensely in the coming days. You're more than welcome to enjoy the lands of Asgard if you wish. It would do good to have one last adventure before his world changes.”
”Yeah. I think you scared him. Let me go talk to him… He’s acting like me.”
Leah walked over to the door and looked back at Dorian. ”You coming or staying home?”
”Coming!” Dorian said before stopping a few steps in and looking at Max. ”Dad?” Max smiled and waved his hand once more, Dorian's pajamas he had been lazing in all day changed to more appropriate clothing before Dorian began to follow Leah back out. She swung the door open and walked out to where Percy was.
”Hey. I’m not going to push it, but no one’s angry with you, okay?” That was all she was going to say about it. ”If you still want to go, we’ll go right now. We won’t talk about tomorrow for a second if you don’t want to, and we’ll bring back enough books that they’ll have to put a new wing in at the library. Sound good?”
He was quiet for a moment. He’d expected Leah to chastise him - to tell him that he was throwing his life away, that he was going to make everyone who cared about him suffer, that he was a failure and a disgrace. He didn’t expect her to offer to leave it be. He bit down on his lip hard, still looking at the ground, before he said very quietly. “… I’m just scared to go…”
”Yeah.” She felt that. ”If you had told me two months ago that Whitehall wasn’t secretly a terrorist who killed mutants when no one was looking, I’d call you crazy. That’s why I’m getting help, among other things. I get it, it’s terrifying. But that’s because it’s different.”
“That’s where they’re sending me,” Percy murmured. “CAGE. I won’t have my powers - I… I won’t be able to read,” his voice cracked. “Or - or feel Dorian. I’ll be… I’ll be all alone. And they’re telling me I have a problem but I’m fine, okay? I’m - I’m fine.” His entire body was trembling. He wanted so desperately to believe it.
It pained Dorian to see his boyfriend look and feel so defeated, so broken. But watching Leah talk to him, actually speak to him…it felt as if She-Hulk had done an amazing job in helping her grow in such a short amount of time. Maybe he just viewed Leah as the Himbo Jock for too long, maybe she was always this wise for someone living under a rock, or maybe she finally got the parentage she deserved. Either way, Dorian was content with letting her handle this field of mines for now.
”Who says you can’t read?” She almost asked him how hard it could be to cut one’s self with the paper in books, but that would’ve been awful. ”If they let us, we can visit. It’s easier with friends, and I’m learning that a lot lately.”
“… I will only be able to read in English, Russian, Hebrew, and Yiddish. Everything else will just be… gone…” He then set his jaw, daring a glance up at Leah as she said she would visit. He didn’t know if he wanted anyone to see him like that. He didn’t want to know what they would think of him.
”Well.. Okay, how did you learn those? Your powers weren’t always there, were they? What if… What if I bring books in- Okay, okay. I have an idea.” One could see the gears in her rocky skull turning. ”I’ll bring books. Some in English, some in Russian, and some in Spanish. That’s my first language, kind of. I’ll help you learn those while you’re there. That way, once you get out- And you will- You can impress Dorian.”
Then, she added, ”And if you get sick of it, you can force me to learn some Russian for revenge.”
”Maybe Asgard ‘as a language book to ‘elp teach Asgardian? Could learn t’at too? Oh! Or we can both learn Spanish toget’er and try and quiz each ot’er and write to each ot'er in it!”
Percy flinched slightly - Dorian had been so quiet, he hadn’t realized he was there. He - he didn’t want - he didn’t want Dorian to think that he was fragile, that… The words struggled to form in his mind. But… at the same time, it was good. He was genuinely touched to hear them both offer to learn languages with him, Dorian was almost expected, but Leah… ? She was the last person Percy would have expected this from. He was doing his very best not to cry. He didn’t like having people see him cry. “…. Okay…” he sniffled. “It… it won’t feel the same but… the words… knowing what they say is part of me… so… I… I would like that very much.”
”Good. Great. And you can even call me names if you see me backing out, too.” She looked back at Dorian. ”We’re going to both Asgard and Jotunheim, I bet there’ll be plenty of language books… And probably some pretty cool rocks.”
”I know you aren't a ‘uge fan of them but…this feels like a group ‘ug moment, t’en we're off to Asgard!!”
Percy nodded slightly. He hated hugs. But he did want to touch Dorian. And it would feel rude to tell Leah she wasn’t allowed to join.
”Sure.” She put an arm out around the small axe murderer wink, and avoided turning him into mush. ”You’re tiny, but I don’t normally have problems accidentally killing people like this.”
Dorian beamed at Percy's agreeance. Hugging his boyfriend tightly before feeling Leah's slight arm around him. Both to aid in Percy's touch aversion, Leahs manic hair, and to give a better hug, Dorian enveloped the trio in telekinetic energy, pulling them tighter and closer so that it was more like a bear hug.
Percy squirmed slightly, feeling his stomach churn at the close contact, the sensation of ants running up and down his skin - and then it lessened, and a bit of the tension left his body. He felt the telekinetic energy forming a bit of a barrier, and he could breathe a little better. “Don’t get used to this,” he grumbled weakly, even as the trembling stopped due to the embrace and the care.
Leah let the hug last a few seconds, feeling glad that she’d stopped being as shitty lately.
”Okay, he’s only got twenty four hours. Let’s get the hell out of here.”
Watching from the window in the kitchen, Max felt satisfied with the growth happening before him. Taking a sip of his coffee, and having already sent off notice to Asgard of their new arrivals, he nodded towards no one in particular knowing full well Heimdall was watching for his signal. Rainbow lights erupted around the trio as the Bifrost opened and pulled them out of his lawn and into Asgard.
Percy was used to teleporting.
He was not used to the Bifrost.
It felt like he was flying, yet at the same time his skin being pulled in a million different directions - a cascading rainbow blur of images his mind could hardly process, and instinctively he reached out and snatched Dorian’s hand - and then, a second later, tentatively hooked a finger onto the fabric of Leah’s sleeve. By the time they landed, Asgard rushing into view, his breath completely knocked out of his body as he fell to the ground from the abrupt and sudden change in momentum.
Heimdall, dressed in gold armor, his hands resting on his sword, smiled ever so slightly. “Welcome, children of Master Gray, to Asgard.”
Leah landed knee-first, feeling like she hit the ground with the force of a meteor. Just like that, they were on the other side of the damn universe. Just moments ago, they were so close to home. Now… Wow.
”...We’re actually here.” Slowly, she stood. ”You’re him- Heimdall. If someone told me I’d be standing in front of you last week, I wouldn’t have believed them. I don’t even know what to say.”
“You need not say anything, Safjel Grintadottir,” Heimdall assured her. “Your passage to this realm is long overdue. And when you are ready, I shall see you safely onto Jotunheim.”
The rush from the Bifrost was absolutely outstanding! It felt as if every cell in Dorians body was humming with power. He wanted to reach out and touch the walls of energy but felt as Percy took his hand in his. As they landed, Dorian let himself hover just above the floor before finally stepping foot in Asgard. Looking towards Heimdall as he said…something.
”Bless you!” he said as he decided it must have been a sneeze.
Heimdall stared at Dorian.
Percy’s face flushed in second hand shame. And then as soon as that was processed, his jaw dropped. Was that… was that Leah’s name? He knew Leah was a name she had chosen for herself, that it wasn’t the one she’d been given on Earth. This one was… it sounded different. It sounded like flowers and love and care and warmth. And as much as it was different from the tough persona she carried, it sounded like her.
He wanted to say something - but he wanted to give Leah the space here. This was her past. Her name.
”I don’t know who that is. My name is Leah,” She told him. ”I might have been here, or there, once. But I was raised on Earth.”
Heimdall bowed his head slightly. “My apologies. Welcome to Asgard, Leah of Earth.”
”Thank you. I’ve heard stories, but we’ve come hoping we could learn more here. I’m a little surprised you’re even letting me in, from what I’ve read.”
“Aye. Master Gray has seen fit to grant you passage. I do not agree with the hatred shown by some here to the giants, but there are those who hold it as truth. Tread carefully in these hallowed halls.”
”We will. I can handle being hated, but you probably know that already.”
She looked down at Percy, then at Dorian. ”Ready?”
”You've got it Surf-gurl! Funny, did t’ey not know you ‘ad eart’ powers? I feel like Surfgurl is more an April name.” Dorian remarked as he began to make his way towards the Rainbow Bridge.
“My eye is upon you,” Heimdall’s voice echoed off after them.
Percy had to run a little bit to catch up with Leah and Dorian. Surf-gurl? The name hadn’t sounded anything like that. That was one issue with his powers - everything translated for him, and in that translation, nicknames sometimes became unrecognizable. He had genuinely no idea how the name related. “The name is more floral than oceanic,” he pointed out. “Flower Child would be a better translation.”
”Flower Child? It doesn’t sound familiar to me at all.” The bridge was… Well, “beautiful” didn’t do it justice. She walked down it quietly for a moment, contemplating things.
”I don’t have any memories of being out here. I always thought I was just a mutant like you two and my dad, that’s what I was raised with. My mom named me Mayra, but I gave that name up after I tried to kill my dad. I’ve never heard the name he used.”
”Flower Child…sounds retro. Somet’in’ Casper would definitely t’ink up or say. Maybe you don't ‘ave any memories of ‘ere but…t'at doesn't mean we can't make some of our own while we're ‘ere right? I mean c'mon! ‘ow many of our classmates get to say t’ey went to Asgard for Winter Break? ‘ow cool is this?!”
Percy bit his lip. There were definitely a few memories he had in mind to make. But now wasn’t the time. Instead, he refocused on what they’d come here for - the archives! He hoped there were museums too! “Yes, think of all the books we will find!” he enthused. “I think we can dedicate a good twelve hours to the libraries alone, and between the three of us, we can amass a great deal of information and understanding.”
”Yeah, but let’s not get separated. I don’t want to trouble Heimdall or Dorian’s dad. Or have to find one of you when I’m bringing a whole stack of books- I wanna find some we can take home. Not just read in a library.”
And, while she was at it, she could add them to the school’s library system.
”Booooooorin’. I say we do maybe 4 ‘ours max at the library and t’en explore and speak to the people of Asgard and Jotunheim. T’ey'd know better t’an some dusty tome anyways. Oh! Maybe t’ey'll have a play!”
Percy pouted slightly. Only four hours? That was… barely any time! He thought twelve was already a bit of a crunch, he could have spent weeks in the libraries of Asgard before being satisfied. Four hours?! What were they supposed to accomplish? They might as well not go to the library at all!
“… Eight hours,” he countered.
”Eight hours,” Leah repeated. ”We don’t actually know what’s where and who’s who. Eight hours here and eight hours on Jotunheim is sixteen hours, and that’s eight for actually finding our way around. If we have time left, we’ll figure it out later.”
”Nerds. Fine, what're we lookin’ for anyway? Percy didn't say much beyond trip to Asgard and well…somewhat Asgardian fun.” Doriam winked. ”I can try to ‘elp locate t’ing’s and read but my Asgardian is very rusty.”
Percy’s face flushed as Dorian brought up his other request. He was very much happy to hear that it would be fulfilled. If he wasn’t finding it hard to sit or walk when he went to CAGE the next day, he’d be crushed. “I would say items relating to the giants of Jotunheim and Leah’s lineage. In addition, we were interested in finding more accurate records on the pantheon in order to determine divergences in the Norse myth,” Percy summarized. “In essence… we want to read every book they have here and more.”
”Yeah. The library back at the school didn’t have much, we were hoping they’d actually know a few things out here. You said something about an archive, earlier. You wanna try that first?”
”Prioritize Leah's lineage and if we have time then we can work on the inconsistencies within mythology. That I feel like we can gather from the locals even after we leave the library.” Dorian stopped for a moment, the Rainbow Bridge bright beneath his feet as he turned to face Leah and Percy. ”Wait…T’e Archive?! Why didn’t you say so! I ‘eard it ‘osts t’e Crown of Surtur, oh oh and a small boat t’at grows in size! Maybe we'll even get a chance to try on the Infinity Gauntlet!!!” Dorian grabbed both their hands as he began to float up in excitement before bolting forward and attempting to drag them with him. ”Why are we wastin’ time? Let's go let's go let's go!!!”
Percy had never seen his boyfriend so excited to go to a library before. It was the hottest he’d ever been. He would have teleported them there, had he been there before - a blind teleport was just asking for a disaster. So instead, he let himself be dragged along by Dorian, not fighting it as he didn’t want his arm to be pulled out of its socket. “Maybe now you’ll be more interested in spending twelve hours there,” Percy said somewhat wistfully. “But yes, we should hurry. We don’t want to arrive and find out someone beat us to the records we are interested in.”
”Woah- Hey, hey!” Leah was dragged forward like an old grandma being dragged away by a rottweiler on a leash. ”God, you’re worse than April.” She sounded amused.
”Well we don't ‘ave a lot of time and I wanna play with the infinity gauntlet.” He said as he stuck his tongue out. He had half a mind to try and teleport them all across the bridge, but he didn't even know where the Archive was, only that it existed.
Percy rolled his eyes. “And what are you planning to do with the Infinity Gauntlet?”
”Im not takin’ it if t’at's your worry. Even if it would look cool next to my Spidey-Web blasters and repulsion gauntlets…” he pouted.
He shook his head. “It grants wishes, right? I more meant - what are you wishing for?”
”If the Infinity Gauntlet could actually be used by someone, do you really think they’d let people near it?” Leah interjected.
Dorian rolled his eyes. He couldn't believe the pair of them. ”It doesn't grant wishes Perce, and its virtually useless unless you ‘ave t’e stones. I doubt t’ey ‘ave t’em all ‘ere and on display wit’ t’e Gauntlet. T’at would be irresponsible and stupid. Chances are it's just t’e Gauntlet itself. But if I could ‘ave a wish come true –” His greatest wish had already been fulfilled and yet…another haunted him. If he could truly have one wish, it would be that the vision he had didn't come to pass. That everyone he knew wasn't dead in a years time. But he didn't want to say that out loud. ”Its a secret.” He said with a wink.
Percy’s ears burned. “I thought you wore it with the stones, snapped your fingers, and it gives off immense power that’s shaped into your wish,” he explained. He didn’t know as much about superhero lore as Dorian did. But the embarrassment was quickly replaced by frustration. He loved secrets - and he hated not knowing what they were. “Maybe my greatest wish is a secret too, then,” he pouted. “And maybe it involves Doctor Strange.”
”That sounds like way too much power for someone to have,” Leah observed. Maybe she was biased for having clinical levels of authority problems, but being able to reshape reality on a whim? No. ”You could raise the dead, rewind time, snap people out of existence… Imagine.”
”You just listed somet’in’ my uncle can do, somet’in’ t’at ‘as ‘appened, and murder.” Dorian countered.
”Your uncle kind of freaks me the hell out, no offense. There are time cops, and murder is usually harder than that. Speaking from experience.”
”When did you meet Uncle Spellman?” Dorian let go of their hands as he turned to face them, still moving, just floating backwards now.
”When we were all at your house?” She told him. ”Everyone went upstairs to talk to a dead guy and I sat it out, remember? Don’t like thinking about that kind of thing.”
Dorian couldn't help but laugh a bit as the confusion cleared away. ”You mean Casper? No no, Avery Spellman is a close friend of my dad from ‘is days back at Xaviers. ‘e actually raises t'e dead, Casper just speaks to t’em…and sometimes calls upon t’eir spirits but rarely.”
”Oh… Well, it still creeps me out either way. If he can speak to Nemo, he could find my dead mom and- Yeah, no. Not opening that one up.”
He grimaced slightly at the mention of Nemo. Heading about him made his body itch - like a rage that wasn’t his own was threatening to take over. “… How many necromancers does your family have?” Percy asked, intrigued. He knew that Dorian’s family had a unique relationship with Death. He just didn’t realize it extended beyond Casper. Even Dorian’s own powers seemed somewhat necromancy like at times.
Dorian's smile faltered for a fraction of a second. If he could contact the dead, he could contact my mom. Here she was, in another realm searching for answers about her true parents, and still having some mindset towards her mother who had passed. Not once in all the years of being with Casper did Dorian ever consider asking him to contact his deceased parents. Hel he didn't even know who his deceased parents were. As far as he was concerned his parents were Ben and Max. He was a Gray. Yet…was he a bad person for not caring about those who birthed him? Those who gave him life and sheltered him from losing his too early?
”Sorry what?”
”What? She wouldn’t even recognize me like this. She didn’t always recognize me then, either. It’s complicated.”
Percy frowned. He didn’t quite follow the sudden distance from Dorian. He tilted his head slightly, and stopped walking. “Is something wrong?”
”Duh! T’e fact t’at you've stopped when we still have so much more to go!” Dorian said with a wide smile before he zipped down the bridge.
Percy glanced at Dorian, then back at Leah, and he shrugged. “See you at the end,” he said with a slight wave, before teleporting himself to the very end of the bridge.
”Hey! Hey!” Leah took off running. The nice thing about being incredibly strong was she could run pretty fast. But not that fucking fast. ”Fucking wait, you fucking twink! You couldn’t have taken me with you?!”
”Cheater!” Dorian cried out as blue energy formed around his eyes and he vanished, reappearing at the end next to Percy before flicking his ear.
“Hey!” Percy protested. “There’s nothing cheating about using my gifts,” he argued, before teleporting in rapid succession around Dorian just to irritate him back.
Leah ran like there were demons behind her, trying to catch up with the two teleporters who conveniently left her behind.
”Some of us can’t just teleport, damnit!” She bellowed from afar.
”I t’ought t’ere was like…teleportation runes or something. Weird. T’en again not my area of magical expertise.” Dorian shrugged before sweeping his foot where Percy would appear to trip him.
And sure enough, as Percy appeared he collided with Dorian’s foot, the sudden change in his momentum sent him crashing down, face first, into the Rainbow Bridge.
Dorian reached his hand out, snagging Percy's body with his Telekinesis just inches above the bridge before letting him go softly onto the ground. Sticking his tongue out at him.
“I hate you,” Percy grumbled. He didn’t like having his clothes pressed into the ground everyone walked on, but he decided to remain on the ground to be dramatic.
”Oh, quit being a brat, Percy.” Leah caught up to them, feeling pretty dramatic herself. ”Maybe next time we walk somewhere far away, I’ll just throw one of you.”
Percy repeated Leah’s words right back at her into the ground, somewhat mockingly.
”Yeah, yeah, brat all you want when you’re alone, whatever. Come on, get up. We’re here.” Leah stepped over him, and walked forward. Asgard was just up ahead, and she’d never seen a place so big and elaborately built in her life.
He huffed slightly, before standing up to his feet and dusting himself off. His clothes were wrinkled now and his hair was an absolute mess - one he didn’t know if his reliable 5-in-1 could salvage. And then Percy continued on, trailing in Leah’s wake.
Dorian gawked at the mere sight of it all. The golden structures, massive buildings, even the floor dazzled with its own form of beauty and glory. ”Do you t’ink t’ey'll let us dine wit’ t'em in t'e great ‘all?”
”I have no idea. I don’t really know how that works here.” Would she even be allowed in the same building as someone like Odin? Did he know she was here?
”So… Books.” Words momentarily failed her.
Percy nodded slightly, “books,” he affirmed. He felt so small as he craned his neck up at the gleaming structures, as the sense of surrealism struck him. He had seen photographs and descriptions of Asgard before, but actually being there… That was something else entirely. He could have spent a lifetime here and still not have scratched the surface of this place. And as he looked at the bustling streets, he was struck by the realization that while not all of the people here were recognized as such, they were essentially gods.
”Ohmygod! Wait!” Dorian crackled in blue energy once more as he appeared right next to Heimdall, who undoubtedly already knew he was coming. ”Sorry to bot'er you Mr. Heimdall! But is photography allowed wit’in t’e city and ‘alls of Asgard? I'd ‘ate to break a rule.”
Heimdall sighed softly. “Flash photography is not allowed. Otherwise, do as you wish.”
Dorian hugged Heimdall quickly. ”T’ank you!” Before he vanished once more to Percy and Leah, instantly whipping his phone out and taking a selfie with Asgard in the background. ”No flash photo's”
Leah didn’t smile in the picture.
”…So. We ready to go in? The doors are right there. And Percy looks impatient.”
Percy didn’t smile either. He hated having his picture taken. Instead of looking happy, the camera captured a clear deer in the headlights look. “Yes, yes, let’s go,” he insisted.
”Stop! No one smiled. We go again.”
Percy’s shoulders slumped. There was no use resisting this - not with the limited time afforded to them. When it came to getting a picture, there was no reasoning with Dorian. He had done this for hours before. Percy took a deep breath, before plastering a big, fake smile on his face. “This hurts,” he complained, his cheeks straining.
”Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” Leah put on a smile. It wasn’t as fake as Percy’s.
”Perfect! OK, to The Archives!”
“Thank… er, I suppose that’s not appropriate to say here. Thank Odin?” Percy shook his head slightly, before moving in the direction he assumed the archive was.
”Yeah. Let’s go already.”
The archives were not hidden within the city - rather, they were celebrated. A part of the royal palace themselves, their entrance was at the end of a row of hedges, whose occasional opening would allow admittance into the royal gardens. Here, young Asgardians tended to the blooms, the light reflecting perfectly off of their braided locks, and the laughter they shared as they went about their tasks had the merriment of bells. Wagons filled with garlands and wreaths passed the trio on by, as some sort of celebration was doubtlessly in preparation - and perhaps almost ominously to some, mistletoe featured in a fair number, with almost equal amounts of sunflowers. But beyond the greenery, the doors to the archives loomed, gigantic and imposing - easily fifteen feet tall, blue and beige stonework with elegant, golden accents. The occasional robe scholar slipped in and out, hands adorned with rings, their sandals clicking slightly with each step, and ancient tomes tucked away carefully underneath their arms.
While most were able to arrive unimpeded, as the trio approached the entrance, an ancient, wizened woman smiled at them most kindly. She was missing half of her teeth, and her skin seemed to almost have the texture of parchment, and her hair was so matted it resembled the feathers of a crow. “Leah, daughter of Jen; Dorian, son of Max; Percy, son of Dominika - I have been expecting you,” the crone greeted. “Come. I am Huginn. You have much to see and little time to do so.”
Percy had no recollection of such a figure - he assumed that Huginn must have been an archivist, one he suspected had a connection with Mr. Gray. It set him on edge, how much Dorian’s father had already managed to do in Asgard. His influence was uncanny. With someone so powerful, how could Dorian ever hope to really be on his own, to be independent? Would Max’s shadow be lurking over them for their entire relationship? It was like dating the child of a celebrity - although, Max essentially was a celebrity. Percy wouldn’t have been surprised to learn he had his own wikipedia page.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Percy said, inclining his head slightly.
Leah had thought Huginn would’ve been a bird. But then again, they were here because they didn’t actually know much. Maybe that was just one form she took.
”Did Heimdall tell you about us?” People here in Asgard had a way of knowing lots of things, and Huginn was one of the watchers who Odin used to spy on the world. It didn’t surprise her that they were expected. Especially not if Max had sent a heads-up.
Huginn laughed slightly at that idea. “Mm. From a certain point of view, perhaps he did,” she answered unhelpfully. “And yet from another, it is I who told him about you.”
”I’m going to pretend I understand that.”
Huginn playfully booped Leah’s nose, before opening the door to the archive. “Follow me.”
”What's all t’e festive decorations for? I assume some sort of Winter Celebration, but I always get t'em all mixed up.”
“Aye, the decorations are for Jól,” Huginn affirmed. “We are celebrating the return of Baldur’s light.” Her robes swept the ground as she walked. Inside, the lighting was provided by glowing, golden planetary spheres, with long blue shadows darkening the carpets. Books were safely tucked away on every wall, and as they walked, various artifacts were placed out on pedestals, without any labeling or indication as to what they were. “Shall we begin with Jotunheim?” she asked.
“So Baldur has died then?” Percy asked, oblivious to the fact that such a question might have been highly insensitive. He was already musing over different light festivals and traditions. Most religions tended to acquire them if they didn’t have one already - Hanukkah was a prime example in his opinion, as its origins had been tidied up into something a little more respectable for the goys. He remembered one of his tutors at Hebrew school growing up, who had explained it was a holiday more appropriate for the likes of Magneto, but held as one for Charles Xavier.
“Yes. No. Perhaps.”
”Death is different for them, Percy,” Leah explained, quietly. Her eyes were wandering over everything in the surroundings. Every detail, every entrance, every exit. ”Dying doesn’t always turn out to be permanent, and sometimes, it isn’t physical… Jotunheim- Yeah, can we start with that?”
The return of Baldurs light? Why did so many cultures have light festivals at this time? Dorian wondered as they wandered the halls of The Archives. Seemed they were starting off with Jotunheim, lucky for them to have a guide to the section. Dorian had feared they could easily get lost within the building. He wanted to ask Huginn a question, wondering if Leah's parents, her giant parents, were still alive. Or if they knew of how or why Leah ended up on Midgard. But that felt like a question she should ask herself if she wanted the answers at all.
Percy’s eyes narrowed slightly - not in anger, but in interest. He was beginning to notice a pattern with Huginn - she seemed incapable of giving a straight answer. Everything was vague and cryptic. Either she didn’t know the answers to their questions, she enjoyed being unhelpful, or the truth was complex like this. With what Leah said, about death not being permanent… He could not help but wonder what was permanent here in Asgard? Were things fixed? Or was the source of so many inconsistencies just that things were constantly in flux, unable to be described in any definitive terms? It was fascinating, if true. He loved and hated the idea in equal measure.
“Well put,” Huginn praised Leah. “The light cannot be reborn without death. There can be no beginning without an end. Just as the Nine Realms move in a circle, adrift in cosmic harmony around the roots of Yggdrasil, so too do we dance without end or beginning.” She then paused, having approached a reinforced door, one made out of crude silver metal, lacking the ornate designs of the others. She merely stared at it, and slowly, gears began to turn and click, mechanisms undoing themselves as the door drifted open - and immediately, a blizzard of snow spewed out, covering them all from head to toe.
“Please, enter. The lore and relics of Jotunheim prefer an arctic chill.”
Leah flinched and shielded her face from the wind. She wasn’t used to the cold, and it felt really damn inconvenient all of a sudden.
”Right, okay… Huh.” She dusted some snow off her head and walked through. It was a damn good thing she had a jacket on, at least.
Clearly Max knew where they would be heading to, and the jacket Dorian was wearing now made a lot more sense. He pulled it closer together, closing it up before proceeding inwards as the cold air cut across his cheeks. The roseyness beginning to come up already as he wished he'd brought a hat to help with the cold. ”I ‘adn't realized ‘ow much you knew about Asgard and its Realms Leah. Or is it more like it's all comin’ back to you slowly?”
Percy was not at all dressed appropriately for the weather. His legs were fully covered at least, but for a top, all he had was a short sleeved button up Dorian had gotten for him, with the collar popped open as the first few buttons were undone. The sudden influx of snow and cold should have been excruciating, his teeth should have been chattering right out of his skull. He was a California native, he’d never known anything but sun and warmth.
Maybe it was shock at the extreme drop in temperature, maybe he wasn’t aware of how the tip of his nose and his exposed skin were reddening from the biting chill - or maybe a hoe could never truly be cold. But somehow, he shrugged it off. Maybe it was the sheer amount of information and novelty allowing him to ignore it. “I hadn’t realized either. I think earlier was the first time I’d ever seen you with a book.”
Leah stuck her hands in her pockets, and tilted her head forward. Her thick hair fell around her, hiding some of her from the snow. She took in a deep breath, and the cold air in here felt strangely right to her.
”Been learning a lot, ever since I learned I wasn’t a mutant,” She explained. ”I used to not care that much about stuff like that. Identities, and where I came from. But then it turns out I’m not even from the same planet as everyone. So… I spent a lot of time digging for information where I could.”
There it was again, the same feeling as before back on the bridge. Dorian followed suit and shoved his hands within his pockets as well. He looked at the space before him, only offering a glance towards Leah before he spoke in a somewhat low voice, as if he didn't want the words to reach anyone's ears. ”What made you want to start? What do you ‘ope to learn?”
”The way it was explained to me, back before I tried to kill my dad and ran away, I was just his mutant kid. It made sense, because he’s a mutant, so maybe I got it from him. That was before I stopped looking like I could’ve actually been born on Earth.”
She reached into the pouch of runes she brought with her, feeling around for one of them. ”He always got up to crazy things, so… I wanted to learn how the hell this made any sense. If I’m not from Earth, what am I doing here, you know? Why’d I look mostly human the whole time, and how did I even get there? I want whatever answers I can find.”
”Right…and we'll ‘elp you every step.”
Fuck, it really was nice actually having friends, now.
”…Thanks, guys.”
Percy nodded, even as he felt guilty. He hadn’t suggested this trip for the selfless motivation of shedding light on Leah’s heritage. It had been a stalling tactic, purely self serving. “Of course.” He wished he could have said that his motivations were more genuine. And the more he sat with this feeling, the more it made his skin crawl. So instead, he walked to a frost covered wall of books, and began to examine the titles.
Dorian gave Leah a side hug, phasing enough to where she could feel him but also so that her hair couldn't damage him. Just the mere presence of a hug before he moved forward to search the shelves for anything that could help them identify what type of giant she was. ”Don't worry about it, t'at's what friends are for. I keep tryin' to tell all of you t'at.” He said as he removed a book and began thumbing through it quickly before placing it back for another one. This one seemed to be more in line with what he had hoped to find. Given that they knew the existence of Frost Giants, that meant there had to be other kinds with a different prefix before them. Boy where there a lot.
”Based on the index in this book, there are at least…Eight to ten different types of giants within the Nine Realms. We've got…Frost, Storm, Ice, Fire, Mountain, Rock, Cloud, Wind, Shadow, and Brine. Which means…Leah could fall under any of these. Though I'm inclined to think Mountain, or Rock based on your powers.”
Leah picked up one of the books, and stared down at the cover. Then the looked at a few more, and she realized she couldn’t understand the letters on them. ”I could see Percy understanding this, but why the hell do you know what any of this says? I have no idea what I’m looking at.”
“He’s borrowing my powers,” Percy explained succinctly. He had found a book detailing the societal structure of Jotunheim and was quickly becoming absorbed with it, kneeling in the snow as he flipped through the pages.
”...You can do that?”
Leah pulled out one of the runes. Ansuz, for knowing and communicating. She held it up to the book.
”Show me what it says.”
The rune glowed, and a light shone on the cover… And it only lit up the words, it didn’t magically translate them.
”Damn… Okay, doing this the hard way.”
Dorian looked over towards another shelf, his thumb holding his place within the book as he saw another that was on Runic structures. He held his hand out and pulled on the book so that it floated towards him. The pages flicking open as he looked towards Leah and showed her the Runic pattern. ”Try these with the encantation ‘Reveal unto me secrets bound by ink.’ Language should he as flowery as the stories they come from.”
Leah studied it. It was a combination of a few. ”Okay- let me just…”
She stuffed the rune away and reached for a pen in her pocket. Then she carefully dragged it across her hand. A Perthro rune, with a smaller Ansuz in the middle. A line went upwards off of it, linking a Kenaz to it. It started to glow orange against her skin.
”Reveal unto me secrets bound by ink.”
It felt like someone was squeezing her eyes. Magic flowed into them, and suddenly every word on every surface of the shelf was in English, and glowing orange. It felt strange, but… It worked.
”Woah- Is this how you two see things? This feels weird…” Leah looked down at the book she was holding, and saw it was about the wars between Aesir and Vanir.
Percy was quiet for a moment, before he nodded. He hadn’t had his powers very long, having developed them in middle school, but he already could barely remember life without knowing what every word meant, or at the very least, what it was supposed to mean. The secret meanings people put into their speech and prose still eluded him. “You’ll become accustomed to it,” he reassured her. He then realized her earlier question had been skipped. “Ah, erm… There was an… Dorian’s powers and my own had an interaction, and entangled.”
Dorian rolled his eyes at Percy. For an man who had language at the tip of his tongue, he sure was unable to use it alot. ”I think it may be a bit different? Percy's ability more so let's me see meaning versus just a regular translation. As for how I am able to use them, we didn't see the warnings at the end of the Mutant Kama Sutra and in using our powers while we were experimenting, we became entangled on a quantum level.” His speech was very matter of fact as he began to dive deeper into the types of giants.
Percy was now a violent shade of red, as he pointedly hid behind his book.
Leah gave Dorian a most incredulous look for a moment, and then quickly regained her composure.
”Dorian.” She leaned in closer, and put an arm on his shoulder for dramatic effect. ”The fucking what?”
”Which part?”
”You’re telling me there’s a book about how to fuck mutants?”
Dorian couldn't help but laugh, a frosty tear forming on his cheek before it froze halfway down. ”No, not how to fuck a mutant, more like…how to fuck like a mutant. It takes into consideration power sets, the dangers between them, ways to combine them, all of that and some kinks too like température play with elemental powers.”
Leah looked over at Percy, then back at Dorian.
Then back at Percy.
Then back at Dorian again.
”...Does it say anything about super strength?”
”Only one of the most common tropes. So yeah duh. There's tons on it.”
Percy was half tempted to teleport. He didn’t know where he’d end up. But he didn’t care. He wanted this conversation to end by any means possible. And it didn’t help too that whenever he thought about these things, it caused parts of him to stir. “Do we have to talk about this?” Percy half whined.
”I mean… Not really.” She shrugged. ”Just asking.”
”Its fine, we are on a bit of a time crunch. So we should focus a bit, we can talk about t'at when we get back.”
Percy relaxed for a moment, before doing a double take. They would talk about that when they got back…? He would rather hug Danni than talk about sex and kink with Leah right now. The color in his face drained.
”Relax, Percy. I’m not gonna spy on you two while you fuck in the Astral or whatever,” Leah deadpanned, putting the book about wars away and reaching for another.
“… We don’t fuck in the astral, our parents aren’t exactly thrilled about the entanglement.”
Leah gave him a look.
Percy had no idea what the look meant.
He stared back at her.
”Did I ask?”
“No,” he furrowed his eyebrows somewhat. “But what you said was incorrect.”
”I said I wasn’t gonna watch you two fuck. That’s- Okay, new subject.”
She dusted off the cover of a book she picked up. ”…The Ironwood of Jotunheim.”
”I t'ink t'at's what's in Percy's pants right now.” Dorian chuckled out before clearing his throat. ”Sorry new subject.”
The color rapidly flooded back into Percy’s face… and he hated that Dorian wasn’t entirely wrong. “Rehab doesn’t seem so bad now,” he grumbled under his breath, before doing his very best to go back to reading, looking over a diagram that traced giant lineages.
Leah cracked the frigid book open and started reading. The text briefly described Jotunheim with an analogy. A planet with continents like North America, Asia and Antarctica. It then compared a place called Jarnvidr to one or the other. A forest larger than anything seen on Earth, trees big as mountains that touched the sky. It was said to sit high above the clouds, where few could pass.
With the silence of study finally rolling over the trio, Dorian decided to focus a bit more on why they had come here. Luckily the information being given was more interesting than some of the subjects back at school. He'd turned over towards the section for Mountain Giants, beings of the Earth who dwelled within forested mountains that sat atop the clouds. The trees themselves so large and sturdy their canopies could hold cities atop them with a single tree being capable of supplying enough wood to make an entire bridge to cross the gaps between peaks. It was said that they reached so high the sky was crystal clear and the stars shone bright and vibrant each night. This connection to nature, to its elements and soul, is what allowed them to manipulate and work with runes with ease. Harnessing the power of the Earth around them and using that connection to expend the energy needed. The more that Dorian read, the more he wondered if this was the kind of Giant Leah hailed from.
Meanwhile, Percy had finally stumbled upon something relevant for Leah. The book so far had detailed different giant clans and houses, outlining the ones who had ties to royalty and other significance. He didn’t see anything for Leah’s father, but there was plenty of material on her mother, Grinta. She was from a line of witches who worked with runes, with Grinta being attested as a seer. The reference was more concerned with tracking the line rather than giving context, but Percy couldn’t help but wonder how much Leah’s gifts with runes directly related to her giantsblood. “Leah, you’re from a line of witches,” Percy said rather matter of factly. “This title for your mother I am reading as She Who Speaks to the Mountains. Another one listed is Stone Whisperer.”
”What?” She bent over to one side and looked down at the book he had. ”She’s in there? She just happens to be a famous witch, seriously?”
“You and Dorian have more in common than we’d thought,” Percy mused, as he offered the book to her.
” What's more I t'ink i may ‘ave found what type of Giant you are. Although it seems almost like a no duh sort of answer but it means we ‘ave a direction to go at least.”
”Yeah? Let me guess, I’m a water giant or something.” She leaned back the other way, looking over Dorian’s shoulder.
”T'at would be a Brine Giant but aye, you ‘ail from t'e depths of t'e ocean. Explains why youre so short, all t'at atmospheric pressure.”
”Wait, did I get that right? Or are you fucking with me…”
”You're a Mountain Giant, though they don't say anything about being able to actually Earthbend, but apparently they're very good at Runic magic.”
Was there a reason for that? Leah’s magic came from runes, and if she wasn’t actually a mutant, then how did she make rocks move? Maybe giants had something like the X Gene, maybe?
”Does- Is there anything in there about other Giants who can do something weird? Like flying when no one else can, or something like that?”
Dorian quickly flipped back and forth between the pages on Mountain Giants and the Index of the book, seeing if there was anything about specialties within the species or mutations but there was nothing within this particular book. ”Not t'at t'ey outline wit'in t'is text but t'is seems to be a very straight forward book simply talkin’ about t'e differences in Giants and not much beyond. I'm sure somewhere amongst t'ese t’ere may be more on Giants wit’ furt'er abilities.” He passed the book to Leah, making his way around the Archives in search for something that detailed Mountain Giants (or any Giant really) with unique abilities beyond the ones they were typically born in.
Leah brought both books over to a table and pulled a chair free from the snow. She took a seat and rubbed her eyes. This spell she was using to understand the language was giving her a headache. ”I know Mutates are things, and sometimes they’re not human,” She mused. ”Unless I’ve been using magic this whole time without knowing.”
Percy tapped his fingers on his knees, thinking for a moment. “Where do Thor and Loki get their powers from that distinguish them from your common asgardians and giants? Perhaps you have a status similar to Loki - a giant, but something more,” he speculated. His teeth were chattering now from the cold, as he got up from where he had been sitting to read, and started to pace. “I would love to spend more time here reading, but perhaps it would be in Leah’s interest to go more directly to the source - to go speak with a giant.”
”Mutates are different, t’ey gained t’eir powers t'rough some external source. T'e Fantastic Four got it from Cosmic Radiation, Spidey got bit by a radioactive spider, t'ing's like t'at cause a mutate. Whereas mutants gain t'eir's from t'e X-gene. Loki and T'or are bein's of myth, so t'at's ‘arder to define, as would anyt'in' to do wit’ Giants.” Dorian spoke yet his eyes never left the pages before him. His brows furrowed as Percy suggested they leave to speak to a giant. ”T'ere's a passage ‘ere, but I don't know if it means anyt'in’...it's titled ‘A Rose in Midgard' But Rose is written more like a name t'an t'e flower…”
”In Midgard? Does it say anything about who they are? What’s the book actually about?” Leah had gotten to a part about how Loki, the monster children, and his wife traced their origins back to the Ironwood. She’d never met another Giant, and suddenly felt very interested in Dorian’s book.
Dorian turned the book in his hand to try and get a better idea on exactly what the book was. ”Its a collection of stories best I can tell. Prophecies maybe? It contains the stories like Loki and Baldur but seems to predate t’e event but also…post date it? Wit’ t'ier world bein'so entertwined in story and legend it's ‘and to tell where one begins and anot'er ends.”
Wait.
”...That’s my middle name, what the fuck?”
”Your middle name…is Rose?...Shut up. No way.”
”I’ve got… I don’t even know how many names at this point. But… After I ran off to California, Leah Rose Jordan is what I started calling myself. There’s no way… Am I in that damn thing?”
Dorian turned the book for Leah to see, written on the page the title of the poem set before them. ”You tell me”
“Bastard of air and brood of earth, suffer heavy the melodies of your dearth.
On turbulent clouds find false haven, 'stead guised in flesh and bound by blood shall midgard quake in madness's wake. Not one but two, a shadow to light, will find their way through brutal fight.
But blood of two does rise once more, futhark bound with steel and stars. Rise, you who carry burden deep and with strength and steel may your future keep.”
She read it, read it twice, and then a third time.
False haven, madness. Not one but two, was that her past identity? Or the new one she had?
It reminded her of a certain witch in a tent.
”Fuck. Agatha once told me about facing what had already happened. She warned me if I didn’t, it’d happen again. I’d have to pack up, leave, start over again and again. That sounds like me.” Why the hell did someone write a book about her?
Percy had peered over Leah’s shoulder, contemplating the prose. He wished that he had a pen and some paper with him. Or at the very least, some sticky notes. It was the sort of thing that needed to be read multiple times, broken down by individual lines so that way their meanings could be deduced, and then added up to the overall part. The added context from Agatha was intriguing. “Do you remember Agatha’s exact words?” he asked. Witches tended to be unhelpfully cryptic - it could be useful to compare them more directly. “Perhaps though we should take this one verse at a time. Bastard of air, brood of earth - this clearly indicates you. The melodies of your dearth… the songs of what you lack. Hmm.”
”Not really. She was doing tarot readings, and I don’t know a lot about that. But the cards she pulled for me were nasty. That’s where the warning came from, she didn’t actually mention anyone specific, just what the cards meant together.”
”Guised in flesh is obviously whatever was ‘iden you and makin’ you appear ‘uman. But I don't know what t'e ‘ell a futhark is.”
”Runes. That’s the name for them. The word “Rune” can mean anything, Futhark is the word for the Norse ones.”
Percy nodded, before sneezing. Once he recovered, he resumed his thoughts. “Do you remember the cards, then?”
”Yeah.” Leah nodded. The Ten of Swords. Temperance, Reversed. Queen of Wands, Reversed. Wasn’t very good, according to her.”
Dorian looked over towards his boyfriend, watching as he began to shiver and sneeze. He pulled out his phone and snapped a photo of the page before closing it and putting it back on the shelf. ”Out, before Perce dies of ‘ypot'ermia. We can discuss t'is in a warmer climate.”
“I’m fine,” Percy protested, before he sneezed again. He made a mental note of the cards Leah had indicated. He didn’t know much about tarot. But he was certain he could find a book on it, maybe Dorian’s family kept one around. His father seemed the type to practice that sort of divination.
”I’m not.” Leah stood up and shut her eyes. ”This translator spell’s giving me a migraine. Let’s get out of here.” She picked the books up and went to place them back on the shelves. Maybe quantum fucking was the superior way to read books after all.
”Could be t'e spells too strong for you at t'e moment? Usin' too much energy. As for t'e Tarot Cards, my Pa does Tarot, but I won't fess up on what t'ey mean till we step out of t'is Winter Wonderland.”
”Could be.” She slid the book about Jarnvidr onto the shelf and rubbed the ink off of her skin. To her, it looked like all the words in the archive shifted back to their usual language.
Then she walked back out.
Percy had half a mind to stay and read, just to be stubborn. Yes, he had suggested leaving a bit ago so they could look into Leah’s heritage more directly, but now he felt like Dorian was trying to tell him what to do. And his natural response to that was to be an ass. “A-a-after you,” he said, crossing his arms.
Dorian rolled his eyes before he began to walk towards Percy, phasing into him and making him move out of the room before phasing back out. ”Don't try and be stubborn it ain't cute if it ‘urt's you. Besides, we need t'at brain of yours to defrost so we can work on solvin’ t'is damn riddle.”
Percy huffed a bit - even as the warmth outside the room hit him, and sent his body trembling, as his skin rapidly began to warm back up to a healthy temperature. But then he eyed Dorian, glanced back again at Leah, and took a step to be closer to his boyfriend. He wanted to use him to warm up. He wasn’t going to ask, though. “So. Shall we flag down Huginn to look at more sections, or should we go speak to Heimdall about moving to the next realm?” he asked Leah.
”Hm… I think we should see if there’s a way to bring some books home. Copies, though. And…”
She looked back in Heimdall’s direction. ”And I wanna bring something back for Sabine. Gift shop time?”
”I t'ought you'd never ask!” Dorian grabbed Leah's hand and looked towards Percy to do the same. ”We jump on trois?”
Percy stared back at Dorian. And then he stared at Leah. He knew the utility in having them both hold Leah’s hand. But the thought of holding her hand made his stomach churn. It wasn’t anything about her in particular. It was just… touch. He hated it. So instead, he held onto a bit of fabric on Leah’s sleeve, touching it rather than her.
Along the landing point of the Bifrost, a straight shot from Heimdall’s post and then to the right of where the three had gone and met Huginn, there stood an ornate building. A vaulted roof crested by golden arches, crowned with a curious stone at the top that glittered against the starlight. Its doors stood tall, with murals of figures from human beings to demons all surrounding an oval-shaped gemstone.
A gift shop. It was a fucking gift shop.
In a flash of blue light, they all appeared before its hallowed doors, a wonderful Sanctum Dorian and Danni knew all too well, a store. A place where someone could acquire a list of all they wanted and more. Dorian ran straight inside, leaving the other two as he focused on looking for something he could take back home. T-shirts, Keychains, a faux Mjolnir on a pedestal with a sign that said ‘Let he who is worthy…’ for either a photo op or an attempt to pull the fake from its resting place. There were plush goats that scrame when you squeezed them, a ‘Bifrost’ kaleidoscope, and so much more. Off to the side in the back was a discount section with a couple shelves and a bin, that was where all the Loki and Hela merch was kept.
Percy did enjoy shopping. He liked seeing the latest creations in fashion and such, and the money they had received from the Contest of Champions certainly helped. He wasn’t quite adjusted yet to shopping with Dorian though - where rather than buying anything, he just took pictures and sent them to Max, requesting the wizard to just generate the item. Percy assumed that wouldn’t be the case here, but… he frowned. There was a problem. “We don’t have the correct currency.”
”We- Oh… Damn, no we don’t.” Leah had money in her pocket right now, but it wasn’t Asgardian money. ”I didn’t think about that. You think they accept human money?”
”Wha‐? Perce…first you tell me people use t'is money t'in’ now you're tellin' me t'ere's more t'an one kind and we dont even ‘ave it?! Whats t'e point of it t'en? What do Asgardians use?”
Percy had no idea if they accepted human money or not. Possibly? It was a gift shop. Sometimes gift shops offered exchange services or were simply willing to accept the currency of tourists. “Dorian, sweetheart… we spent two hours looking at Greek coins in a museum,” he reminded him gently. Although it occurred to him Dorian might have actually been looking at the statues’ asses instead. Hmm. “We can ask the shop attendant.” Percy then corrected himself. “Dorian, can you ask the shop attendant?” He didn’t want to and he imagined Leah didn’t want to either.
”Yeah. We’ll wait.”
”Yeah but t'ose were ancient coins in an ancient museum. Obviously t'ey evolved passed t'at currency after paper Perce.” Dorian corrected as he rolled his eyes and made his way up to the counter. ”Excuse me mon ami! I was wonderin’ what kinda money you guys take? I only ‘ave t'is paper money from a contest I won.” He pulled out some cash to show the Asgardian manning the counter.nter.
The Asgardian almost perfectly resembled the shop owner from a Disney classic, Frozen. He was large and cheerful, with a gigantic mustache and small, kind eyes. “Ooo! Travelers from Midgard! Welcome, welcome - I am pleased to say that we now accept your realm’s official currency - V-bucks! So…. Oh. That’s not a V buck. Hmm. This is awkward. If you have those, I would be happy to accept that instead of this… paper?”
”Finally someone wit’ a bit of sense! I ‘ave loads of em, hold on.” Dorian stashed the cash before pulling out his phone and showing the shop his account loaded with V-bucks. ”Guys! T'ey take V-bucks! We're all good!” He didn't waste a moment as he began to go through the shop to figure out exactly what all he wanted to get. Oh he'd need something for Danni and April obviously!
Leah awkwardly accepted… Whatever the hell these were. Was this some gamer thing? ”Hm. I’m not gonna ask.” And she immediately started looking for stuff.
“… If I want something, will you buy it?” Percy asked. He had absolutely no idea what a V-buck was. He paid attention to Dorian’s gaming about the same amount of attention that Dorian gave to Percy’s books.
”Duh! Now come on! I t'ink Danni would LOVE t'ese screamin’ goats! Oh! And t'is Valkarie calender! I'm sure t'ey'll love em both! Oh and t'is shirt for me and…” Dorian made his way further and further into the shop, grabbing as much as he and Percy could carry.
Leah quietly looked up and down the shelves, wondering what to bring back. There was a rack of magic rings that gently glowed in a box. They looked like those cheap mood rings that didn’t actually do the things they were supposed to do. They looked small, but when Leah stuck one on her finger, it fit flawlessly. In fact, more than one did. They were enchanted to fit anyone.
That was pretty cool. Sabine would love one of those. She found a shirt big enough for her, and… Oh! They had books about space rocks.
For a little bit, Percy followed Dorian around the shop… until he saw one wall, covered in books. He couldn’t resist the siren song. He gravitated over towards them, inspecting novels about the best hiking trails in the Nine Realms, Odin’s autobiography, and more. All of them somewhat trashy, but as he picked them up, he couldn’t help but read the descriptions, the reviews. There was one on Asgardian fashion that he held onto, figuring he would suggest it to Dorian for Danni - although he had never seen Danni read a book before, he hadn’t seen Leah read one either. Maybe everyone was secretly into books.
The most incredible books he found, however, were a collection of trashy romance novels. He’d gotten into the genre somewhat recently, and Percy grabbed about ten in total, almost too much for him to carry - the pile almost rivaling him in height.
Dorian finished off his shopping, a crown of Loki on his head as he held the other items in his arms before placing it all onto the counter. He'd gotten everyone an Asgardian shirt, and was going to change into his before the day was over…barring anymore cold lands.
Percy headed back to Dorian, and fixed him with his most sheepish look. “Is this too much? The one on top I think your brother would like.”
Dorian grabbed the book, quickly flipping through it to see how many images were inside. How much fashion could actually be seen vs read about. A good amount it seemed. ”’e'll love it.”
Immediately underneath was the original novel that had caught Percy’s eye - Brokeback Jotunheim.
Dorian spied the book, picking it up and immediately turning it to the back. ”Prepare yourself for an epic tale in t'e frost covered Jotun mountains? ‘e may not be giant but ‘is love is?” He looked back at Percy, then Leah, then placed the book back onto the pile before placing Dannis on top.
”Do not ever, ever say that around me again.”
Percy was quiet for a moment, before taking another three books off the shelf, and wordlessly handed them over to Leah. The titles were A Realm of Our Own, Two Girls One Chalice, and But I’m a Valkyrie!
Leah accepted the books, not knowing what the titles actually were. ”I should probably actually learn how to read these. You want to do that together?” She asked, eluding to the fact that he’d be powerless in CAGE.
Dorian looked towards Leah in a bit of awe. ”All I did was read t'e synopsis! Why am I gettin’ punished for it?” He finished paying, placing everything he didn't want to keep around in his bag before stopping at the books. ”Yeah Perce, want Leah to learn t'ese books wit’ you?”
“....Oh,” Percy hadn’t even realized they were in Asgardian. It took a bit of conscious effort on his part to recognize the language he was using. To him, all languages almost blurred together, into one unique blob. If he almost let himself go cross eyed, he could figure out what one he was looking at. He had intended to bring these with him to CAGE, figuring it would help him with his inevitable boredom there - and maybe a bit of missing his boyfriend. “... Dorian, can I get these in English and in Asgardian?” And then, he blinked a bit, realizing the last question his boyfriend had asked him.
Did he want to read sapphic smut with Leah?
Percy vanished from view, reappearing on the other end of the store, where he shook his head no emphatically.
Leah blinked slowly. ”...Uh. Okay, not bringing those, I guess.” She passed the books she didn’t know were smut over to Dorian. ”What’s his problem?”
”Beats me. Mind ‘elpin ‘im find t'e English ones? Wit’ ‘is sight its ‘ard for eit'er of us to tell which is which.” Dorian lied.
”Sure.” She looked around through them, picking them up and combing through each. It looked like they were all the same, as if someone had just dropped a whole box straight from a press into the gift shop.
”It looks like they’re all in Asg-” She found a few at the bottom. They were actually in English, and Leah wished they weren’t.
She looked up, over at Dorian, with the most unimpressed look imaginable.
Percy strategically hid behind a bookshelf.
”Did you find em? Gotta check out soon if we want to get to Jotunheim wit'in time.” Dorian grinned.
”Yeah, I found them. Here. You’re gonna give him a heart attack, Dorian. Look at him, he’s like a wet dog.”
”If ‘e can pick up t'e books and read ‘em t'en ‘e should be able to talk about t'em unashamed. Besides, its gonna be seen one way or anot'er.”
Percy went to pull out his phone and started typing out a text to Dorian.
Dear Dorian,
Fuck you.
Love, Percy
He hit send on the text.
The text did not, in fact, send. There was no signal in Asgard. He groaned, and moved out from behind the bookcase. “Fine, let’s talk about it then! What do you want to talk about specifically?” he then asked in a huff, marching right up to Dorian, craning his neck up slightly to look him in the eyes.
Dorian looked down at Percy and smiled. ”Well we ‘aven't read it yet so not'in at t'e moment.” He replied as he paid for the remaining books and placed them in his bag. ”We ready?”
Percy’s eyes narrowed, and he put his index finger on Dorian’s chest, pushing against him. “No, we are not ready. You’ve been teasing me all day and now it’s your turn to be teased,” he spat.
”Uh.”
Dorian crossed his arms. ”Do it.”
“Are you okay if we take five minutes?” Percy asked Leah.
”You realize Heimdall’s basically omniscient, right? And also right over there?” She waved in the general direction of the Bifrost.
“He can close his eyes.”
”Just-” She just sighed. She thought they were about to fuck behind the building or something. ”Just don’t get caught, I guess. Or phase into the Quantum Realm while his dad’s waiting for us to get home.”
Percy nodded slightly, before grabbing Dorian by the arm, and teleporting them into the storeroom of the shop. He then shoved his boyfriend up against the wall, and held him there - very well aware of the illusion that he was strong enough to hold Dorian anywhere that he didn’t want to be.
Dorian looked down at the arm pressed against him. His eyes slowly looked up to Percy's eyes before leveling back down to his lips. He wrapped one arm around Percy's waist, pulling him in closer, inches away from a kiss…before he phased through him and out the other side. ”We don't ‘ave time for t'is Perce. Leahs countin’ on us to find ‘er families mojo or somet'in’ “
He hadn’t intended for them to actually do that here. His entire plan had been to get Dorian riled up, but like always, it seemed to backfire - as Percy felt his body do a little more than wake up as Dorian pulled him close… only to phase through. “Must you always be the one on top?” Percy grumbled.
”You know I don't always top. Now come on.” He said as he left the storage closet.
Percy remained there a moment longer, before he cursed and kicked a box of books, stubbing his toes. But he didn’t care. He then teleported back to where Leah was, his arms crossed and a sulking, pouting expression on his face.
”That was fast…” She observed. ”Now what?”
”Which is weird. ‘e usually lasts much longer. Anyways, to Jotun'eim? T'at was out next location right? Maybe ask ‘eimdall if ‘e knows where t'is poem takes place.”
A dark, mischievous look sparkled in Percy’s eyes, as he glanced at Dorian, before looking at Leah. “He couldn’t get it up,” he whispered to her, yet was loud enough to ensure his boyfriend could hear. “Old age.”
”Before you ask, the answer is no.” She didn’t elaborate. ”Anyway, yeah, Jotunheim next… Heimdall?” She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to signal him, say his name, or… Maybe just walk back to him?
”Heimdall, if you can ‘ear me. Take us to the location of for A Rose in Midgard. We t'ink its somewhere in Jotunheim. Oh wait, should we step out first so we don't trash t'e gift shop?”
If Heimdall cared about not trashing the gift shop, he had a funny way of showing it. One moment, the gift shop was fully intact, a peaceful shopping experience for those who had the local Asgardian currency and Fortnite’s v-bucks. The next, the roof had a brand new hole in it, as a blinding beam of rainbow light hit the trio and their various purchases, flinging them through space until they collided with the icy realm of Jotunheim, the temperature somehow even more frigid than it had been in Odin’s archival vaults.
Leah fell face-down into the snow.
Dorian's silhouette made a perfect X as he was buried deep beneath the snow, the sounds of screaming goats coming from beneath him as a few had traveled alongside them. ”I take t'at as a yes, we should ‘ave stepped out first…”
Percy stumbled forward, almost tripping over Leah as he narrowly jumped over her, falling to his knees in the snow. The momentum kept on carrying him forward though, as a minute later he had to throw his hands out to stop himself from eating shit… for the second time on this trip. He huffed a bit, and then cursed under his breath. Not about his boyfriend. But he’d meant to grab something warmer to wear in the gift shop, and the books had distracted him so much that he still didn’t have a jacket. “I-I-I h-h-hate s-s-snow,” he muttered, his breath looking more like smoke.
Dorian got up, shaking the snow off of him before realizing part of why his landing had been so soft. Aside from the screaming goats, there was a pile of sweaters with a retro asgardian print on it. He quickly fished for his own size before tossing one to Percy and then looking at Leah. ”Do you need a sweater or are you like…winter proof?”
”No, I am damn well not. Holy fuck…” Her skin felt numb, she wasn’t convinced they wouldn’t catch hypothermia in minutes her. Leah batted the snow off her body and blew a cloud of dense fog. ”Give- Give me one of those.”
Ordinarily, Percy would have protested as Dorian threw clothes at him. He would have been dramatic and forced Dorian to have to possess him to get what he wanted. However, he did not want to die of hypothermia, so he quickly pulled the sweater over his head. It was a little too big for him, meant to be Dorian’s size, and he hugged himself, trying to get his body temperature up a little higher. “M-m-maybe there’s a w-warmer cl-climate here s-somewhere,” he wished. “I-it can’t all b-b-be ice.”
Dorian rummaged around finding Leah's size and tossing it to her. He bundled himself up as best he could as he tried to go astral to avoid the cold all together. But the icy wind was already biting and making it harder for him to go ghost. ”M-m-merde.”
”Yeah, whatever the fuck that means.” She pulled the sweater over herself and pulled her hair free. Her hands were fucking shaking. ”Where- Holy shit. Fuck, I can’t feel the ground. There’s so much ice and snow under us. Where the fuck is the fucking ground?”
It felt like trying to reach for something while blind. Was it just the sheer cold distracting her? There was no damn way… Her feet sunk into the snow, trying to feel around for something solid. It must have been ice, because she didn’t think she could move it with her powers.
”J'aimerais que Danni soit là.”
”Yeah, if only- Wait. My pen, where’d it go…” She reached under her sweater and fished it free. The air was so cold that the snow wasn’t even melting against her body. So she uncapped it and put a Kenaz rune on the back of her hand.
”Keep… Keep me warm against the cold.”
The rune glowed brighter, brighter and brighter still. And then it crackled.
Her fucking hand and arm burst into flames. Bright, golden flames that, for a brief second, didn’t actually burn. And then Leah felt the flame bite her flesh.
”FuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK!” She swung her arm down into the snow, and kept it there until steam stopped rising up into the air. Her hand felt numb, and she wasn’t sure if that was from nerve damage or the cold.
This was awful.
”Fuck, I guess we’re doing this the hard way…”
Was this really where she was born? Leah, the California-dwelling, desert-acclimated denizen of Earth? Born on a planet this cold and frozen. They hadn’t even been here five minutes and she already didn’t want to be here.
”Leah!” Dorian had called out as soon as her arm went ablaze. He tried rushing towards her side to aid her, but the snow made it more difficult without his powers, and that brief yell into the abyss allowed enough frigid air to enter his throat, causing it to burn. He coughed a few times before speaking hoarsely. ”Maybe – M-maybe a navig-gational rune instead Ch-chere.”
Percy hadn’t even managed to take two steps towards Leah before she’d extinguished the flames - she’d been pretty quick about it, but the terrain here was so difficult that with each step, his foot pushed on through the snow all the way up to his knees. The cold was excruciating, and the longer they stood there, the more a very real fear gripped them. It had been different in the library, as while it had been frigid, the exit was easily accessible. But here? They could die. They could die in a frozen waste, millions of miles from home. He tried to see if there were any distinguishing landmarks, any indication of shelter or civilization, but the blizzard was blinding them. “I c-c-can’t see enough to t-t-teleport us,” he said. His heart was beating faster and faster. They needed that navigational rune from Leah. His terror was only growing.
She could probably do that more easily than fire. She didn’t exactly feel great about it, though.
”Where are we supposed to go? An ocean, a city, a damn bonfire? Heimdall put us here. He-“ Leah pulled her arm free from the snow. The skin would probably blister. ”He could have just put us anywhere, but no. He chose- chose to- he chose to drop us here.”
All that enthusiasm about finding some answers, all that curiosity was just gone in the moment. Leah wasn’t used to this. How could she have hoped to survive here if she never came to Earth? Did other Giants just go numb and endure it? Did they all use magic? Did they live underground?
Leah stared down at the snow. At the bright, reflective snow that glittered beneath their feet.
”Why?”
”I-I-I…” The cold was cutting deep, the wind didn't do them any favors either. He could hardly think as he wrapped his arms around himself tightly. He tried to look around, but Percy was right, the white flurry surrounding them made it difficult to see five feet ahead. Dorian took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he tried to think back to his training with Strange at Kamar Taj. It was hard, but slowly he steadied his breath, evened his breathing, and held his arms out to either side of him, palms out in a modified T-pose. The wind stopped, sound around them muted as a dome of telekinetic energy surrounded them and cut off the on-going assault from outside. ”I don't know ‘ow long I c-can ‘old t'is. But I asked Heimdall to take us where A Rose in Midgard was meant to be, t'is must be near t'at. M-maybe t'is storm is part of t'at ‘Brutal Fight’?”
”Maybe he thought he was being funny.” She didn’t seem to enjoy whatever joke was being played. ”If it was just me here, this wouldn’t be so bad. You two shouldn’t have to be dealing with this. If I knew we were gonna get fucking frozen, I would’ve just gone ahead alone.”
Leah reached for her runes and pulled out the Raidho stone. ”Where are we going?”
Percy shook his head slightly. “It would actually be worse if it was just you,” he corrected, grateful for the slight shield from the cold Dorian had constructed. “You did set yourself on fire a moment ago.”
”I guess. I think…” She had an idea. So she held the rune out.
”Lead us to where I came from.”
It floated up, and rather than spin around like it did back on Earth… It fell back into her hand pointing straight down. She must’ve been running short on magic power after all those earlier rune tricks.
”Damn. I don’t know where we-”
Leah felt the icy ground beneath them crack.
”Ohhhh fuck…”
The trio fell through the crack in the ice, plummeting down into dark, misty depths. Had it not been for Dorian’s quick application of telekinesis, mimicking a feather fall spell, the landing would have been disastrous. Instead, the three hit the ground somewhat gently, the ice further cracking from where they landed, as the impact set deep bruises into their bones.
The light from the surface could not penetrate down here, and while the bitter cold remained, there was a strange warmth coupled with it - as if the beating heart of this realm was attempting to break on through, turning the unbearable chill into something a little more survivable. All around them were twisting, icy caverns, a veritable maze deep within the ground. The only light was provided by faintly illuminated crystals, and when the air was still and silence reigned, their soft song could almost be heard, echoes of past, present, and future. And on the walls, as if they had been carved into the ice only moments ago, were runes. The depictions were easily twenty feet tall, if not larger - the very bottoms of the runes well above Percy’s head.
The frozen ground cracked as Leah landed, making a tiny crater around her. When she looked around, she recognized those depictions. The heat coming out of the caves wasn’t exactly hot, but she wasn’t going to turn it down.
”...Anyone think this is a coincidence?” She asked, and her voice echoed.
Dorian sat up, slowly making his way up before he rubbed his butt and back from the fall. ”I t'ink t'is is well past a coincidence Leah.” He looked around the space, watching the almost mirror like walls, the crystal glow, and runes that surrounded them. ”What do t'ese mean?”
Percy studied the runes for a moment, as their shapes slowly seemed to morph into something that he could understand. It was strange, though - they looked almost fuzzy to him, an odd haze lingering around them, as if he wasn’t meant to see this. “Bastard of air,” he translated.
”Its not t'at cold anymore Perce, calm down.”
Percy glared at his boyfriend.
”That’s what it means.” Leah dusted herself off. ”That prophecy you showed me. Bastard of air, brood of earth. I was starting to think that was referring to my dad, since he liked to use some really stupid flying suit with wings, like Iron Man.”
Dorian couldn't help but let out a chortle. ”A flyin’ suit wit’ wings? What is t'is t'e 80s?” He caught himself before almost continuing further, clearing his throat. ”Sorry. So…it's a line from t'e prophecy t'en? Guess t'at means we're on t'e right track non?”
“Leah… Who is your father?” Percy asked. They’d never spoken much before. He knew that she’d been adopted by She-Hulk, but that was the extent of it all. He didn’t know how a giant’s child had ended up on Earth, her past, her history, none of it.
”Mutant terrorist who kills people for money. His powers make him learn things really fast, like learning new weapons or something scientific. Tried to kill him before I came to California, starting to wonder if he actually did survive.”
She used to be terrified of sharing that information. ”I haven’t actually run into him yet. Or, if I did, I wouldn't have noticed. Not sure I want to find out anymore.”
The room felt tense, Dorian wasn't sure what to say, what to do. So, he tried to break the tension, punching Leah on her biceps. ”T'at's for earlier now t'at I'm not freezin my nips off. We're your friends, we'd never let you go off on a dangerous journey of self discovery in a foreign realm all by yourself. Even if it means freezin’ to deat’, catchin’ a cold, or fightin’ a retro flyin’ dad who ‘as some serious explainin’ to do.” He gave her a hug, squeezing her as tight as he could. ”So don't t'ink you can get rid of us t'at easy”
Well, that caught her off-guard.
”Yeah, that was pretty ridiculous, I guess.” She sat a hand on his shoulder, instead of returning the hug. She’d kill him, doing that. ”Working on it, sorry.”
”Good. Now let's work on findin' our way t'rough t'ese caves…caverns? Is there a difference? Anyways it seems like a maze.”
”Yeah.”
“I will not be hugging you, and I would not have considered us friends when the day began,” Percy said bluntly. “But my sentiments are the same.” He then took a moment, surveying their surroundings. A mysterious prophecy etched onto the walls, a maze with no discernable direction, and only their wits to guide them. He pulled his compass out of his pocket, before glancing back at Leah and Dorian. He then grabbed his phone, and took a few pictures of the room. This would be easier with a map, but not impossible. And the runes were very good landmarks. “Let’s go,” he said, before blazing a trail forward.
”Oh. Uh, ok? I guess we're going t'is way.” Dorian looked at Leah, confused.
”…He just happens to carry a compass with him.” Leah ran after him. ”Are you sure that it even points north, here? There might not be a magnetosphere or any poles.”
”Magnetosphere? Sounds like a weapon Erik would ‘ave used back in t'e day.”
“Why wouldn’t you carry a compass?” Percy raised an eyebrow. “It is possible it won’t work, but that is why I am documenting as well our route.”
”Molten ocean of metal under the Earth’s crust that gives the planet a magnetic field. That’s why a compass wouldn’t work on the moon, maybe it works here,” Leah explained. ”Never needed a compass before. The sun, moon and stars are usually good enough for anything I’ve ever needed.”
Dorian blinked slowly. ”What? You're kiddin’ right? I t'ought magnets worked based off t'e Nort’ and Sout’ Poles. Figured Santa ‘ad somet'in to do wit’ it and ‘own t'e Poles affected em.”
”The poles are the magnetic field. You ever seen a drawing of flux lines? There’s one of those around Earth, that’s why compasses work.”
Dorian simply shook his head no. He had no idea what Flux Lines Leah had been talking about. ”So…t’e candy cane striped Poles create t'ese flux lines?”
”...Percy, what’s he talking about.”
“I’m Jewish, how would I know?”
”Well, if you don’t know, I definitely don’t. Dorian, what the hell are you on about?”
”Santa? You know, t'e Jolly Red man who delivers gifts every year durin’ Christmas? Everyone knows t'at at t'e Poles t’ere are large red and white candy cane striped Poles t'at mark where t'e Nort' and Sout' are. AND t'e stripes swirl in different directions dependin’ which Pole you're at.”
Percy stared at Dorian blankly. “You mean the character made up to encourage people to buy things?”
”Santa. Is. Real. ‘Ow dare you say ot'erwise. Everyone knows t'at ‘e's an Omega level mutant. T'at's ‘ow ‘e gets around so fast.”
”Actually, if you read enough books, you could argue he’s not a mutant at all. But actually, Odin.”
“Santa isn’t real,” Percy scoffed. “If he was real, how come I’ve never received a present from him?”
”Cuz you've obviously been on t'e Naughty list Perce. Anyone could've told you t'at.”
”Did you ever ask?”
”True! Did you even make a list for Santa? Leave out Milk or Cookies?! ‘ow is ‘e suppose to do it all wit'out a snack? You've seen ‘ow much Speedsters eat.”
“Fine. Then I’ll leave a list for Santa, and milk and cookies, and I’ll prove to you that it won’t happen. Because he’s not real. He’s just your dads pretending that gifts from them come from someone else.”
”You know, you really remind me of Sabine, sometimes.” Leah fucking smiled. Watching them bitch at each other was funnier than it had any right to be.
Dorian gasped. ”You take t'at back Percival Heimlech Novikova!”
Percy smirked, crossing his arms. “Absolutely not. I won’t tell lies. Santa is not real. The realest thing about Santa is that there used to be someone matching his description, centuries ago, and he is very much dead now.”
Dorian went through several facial reactions before finally he just huffed and began walking ahead of Percy. Trying to mess with the compasses needle with his electromagnetism, but hardly causing it to tick any which way.
“Also - it’s Percy Theov Novikov. No a. I’m not a girl.”
”When the guy with the language powers tells you that, you’ve probably fucked up,” Leah commented. ”Also, maybe you’re both wrong. Maybe he’s in Asgard.”
Dorian decided to ignore Percy, the other option was to kick him in his jewels and tell him he was a girl now. ”Still wrong. You'll see. You'll both see.”
Percy rolled his eyes. Both of them were being ridiculous. There was no magical man distributing presents once a year, not a mutant or an Asgardian. So he decided to ignore Dorian as well, and started inspecting the new set of carvings on the wall.
Leah studied them too.
”Someone was down here, wrote these on the walls, expecting us to find them. How long was this here? This kind of thing happens in movies and comic books, but… This is weird.”
”Who says anyone wrote t'em? If t'e deat’ of Baldur is cyclical and time shifts oddly in t'is realm, maybe t'ese Runes were always ‘ere or will be, maybe a you from t'e future comes back to carve t'em so you now can see t'e pat’ you needed to move forward wit' ?”
The thought did occur to him that they could just time travel to the future and see - his powers had been growing rapidly, he could potentially pull it off but… There was just as great a risk that he would strand them in some desolate apocalypse, without a way forward. “I think it’s more likely that someone did carve these,” he posed, siding with Leah. “As fantastical as your idea is, the truth is usually the simplest explanation. Someone wanted you to come here, Leah. It’s written in ice.”
Dorian gently shoved Percy. ”Well? Which way now navigator? Clearly we're headin’ t'e right way but…” Dorian looked back at the walls of Ice, seeing his reflection amongst them, repeating. Beyond the runes, this place felt as if it held magic. Like they were walking on sacred grounds or something, and it gave him the chills.
Leah had gone quiet for a moment. It didn’t feel real. The notion that somebody out there in the galaxy wanted something good for her, long before she’d ever got control of her own life. Or was this even anything good?
”As long as we don’t move too fast, or get lost, we’re still making progress. Not sure if we can stay down here and linger, though. It’s still pretty cold.”
Percy purposefully didn’t react to his boyfriend shoving him, instead documenting the next set of runes they had stumbled upon. They were through the first two verses of the prophecy, hitting approximately the halfway point. And that was when they ran out of ice - when the end of the corridor they had walked down abruptly terminated, revealing a gaping cavern. Dim light barely reached from its base, and Percy knelt down, picking up a loose ice crystal. He dropped it over the edge and counted the seconds until he heard its impact.
“Can you feel any earth down there?”
”If there’s any down there, it’s too far or too deep.” Leah shook her head. ”You could maybe teleport us down, but I don’t think that’s a safe move.
She wasn’t about to jump, either.
”...You think we could climb down?”
”I could try and fly down t'ere and see ‘ow deep it is and maybe what to expect.” Dorian wasn't sure if he could pull the telekinetic trick again. Especially given they couldn't even see down there from this vantage point.
Percy got down onto his knees, going as close to the edge as he dared to see if he could make out any features at all. Teleporting blind was risky - they could end up impaled or partially phased into something. He scrunched up his face, as a plan came to him. If Dorian flew down there, it was possible to use the entanglement as a beacon. Percy could then teleport himself and Leah. He stood up and turned around, about to make this suggestion, when the ice beneath his feet began to crack - and within seconds, it gave way, sending him plummeting as he screamed.
”Shit!” Leah couldn’t grab him in time. ”Dorian!”
”On it!” Dorian went to grab Percy with his Telekinesis, wrapping a part of it around Leah's waist to use as an anchor. As he reached out, trying to feel for his boyfriend, he slipped off the broken edge and began to fall, panicking and attempting to pull himself back up, he instead pulled Leah with him and the telekinetic tether broke. All three of them falling.
Falling…
…Falling…
………Falling.
The three of them crashed into the ice, the force of their fall shattering the cavern floor. Beneath the ice was water, dark and cold - and what grips they managed to maintain on each other were sundered, as Leah was sent spiraling farther and farther into this watery abyss. The speed of her descent was barely altered by the depths’ resistance, and as she plummeted, water filling her lungs and scrambling her senses, any hope of knowing what direction to travel was vanquished. She was disoriented, spinning through inky darkness - until suddenly, she smashed through the water’s surface, washing ashore in a large, empty cave.
Yet rather than walls made of ice, they were made of mist - mist that seemed to shape and morph, a thousand reflections all staring back at her, with eyes as piercing yellow as her own. In these women, she would see her own features, her own traits - her hair, her smile, her nose, her lips, her anger, her rage. All except for the one in the very front, who rather than merely being similar was identical - and holding a gigantic runic sword.
She was so cold and dazed from the fall that, for just a moment, she thought she’d fallen hard enough to crack her head open. It wasn’t until she brought herself to one knee and inhaled slowly that things made more sense. Above her was a void. Below her was solid ground.
She didn’t feel quite so cold here.
Leah blinked the rime from her eyes and… Stared into her own reflection.
”...What is this?”
What is this?
What is this?
What is this?
Her own voice, ringing back into her ears. Because that definitely made enough sense.
She stood, numb as she was. The sword “she” was holding looked massive in her own hands. Taller than her, which was saying something. Leah saw the indents along its blade. The perfect size for the runes in her pocket.
She walked forward, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
They were all her. Mayra Pavon. Safjel Grintadottir. Leah Rose Jordan.
Agatha’s prophecy told of the day she’d have to stare back at herself. The cycle would repeat, and it was one of her own making. Now she was confronting it.
“You need to know yourself, child, re-forge your identity. And then the cycle will repeat. Over and over again..."
And -
“Bastard of air and brood of earth, suffer heavy the melodies of your dearth.
On turbulent clouds find false haven, 'stead guised in flesh and bound by blood shall midgard quake in madness's wake. Not one but two, a shadow to light, will find their way through brutal fight.
But blood of two does rise once more, futhark bound with steel and stars. Rise, you who carry burden deep and with strength and steel may your future keep.”
Strength and steel.
Every movement she made, everything around her had some reaction. Leah didn’t know what was going on here, she wasn’t well-versed in magic enough to even consistently string runes together, let alone tell what this was.
Fuck, maybe this was all a trap of some kind. Who the hell was behind all this?
Leah stretched out a hand, to grab the sword.
Her other self wasn’t moving, and there was a shadow cast along the ground. Of the other Leah, holding the blade against a backdrop of a light source she couldn’t see.
”...What if…”
She put both of her hands up, in a pose to hold that massive sword. She mimicked her other, and then reached.
It flickered. The metal warped and the light bent in odd ways. The weight of the sword didn’t move into her hands, but rather, it simply was in her hands. It fit her hands perfectly. The hilt was solid stone, smooth as glass and yet her grip on it was unshakeable. It didn’t feel heavy, even though it looked like something even she couldn’t easily lift.
A faint, bronze flicker of light raced up the carvings in the blade. Half a foot wide, seven feet long if she had to guess. The blade came to a crescent point, no sharp tip for piercing. It looked more like the blade of an axe than the tip of a sword.
She was taken aback by how familiar it seemed.
Back when Andy had used her curse on her, Leah had been overwhelmed by the changes. The pain of her bones popping and her lungs breathing air she didn’t know she could breathe. But then, when she got used to it, it felt like stretching atrophied muscles. It felt more like her.
This, too, felt more like her.
Leah inhaled air, and exhaled fog. Her bones felt lighter. Her skin felt warm.
”Someone left you for me,” Leah concluded.
She raised the sword and saw her reflection in it. All of them. The scared and pitiful Mayra, dreading her father. The proud Leah, daring the world to strike her and break for it. The nameless child she never was, whose face she now showed the world, after the loss of a mask she didn’t know she had.
”Every time I look backwards, there’s something new, isn’t there? I keep finding new names, new history, and it’s all so different.”
The reflections along the blade were like a kaleidoscope. They overlapped, and yet they didn’t occlude one another. They were all her. All of them.
”Agatha… You were right. But I think you were wrong, too. The cycle I’m in, it’s not just me reinventing myself over and over.”
Leah brought the blade closer to herself, and rested it on her shoulder. The metal rang through her bones, and it made her think of forests that touched the sky. It was part of her, and it, too, had a name it preferred.
Morose
Blizz
BlueSky44
Kirah
TheMaster99
Fetzen
Achronum
ImagineTheStars
Forsythe
