Xaltwind

Guild of Renta-Experts [[CANCELLED]]

Despite the shop's rather generic, and frankly umremarkable, appearance and atmosphere, Brandy seemed to be nontheless very excited. Running to and fro along the aisles and shelves of goods, it was nothing less than a sheer miracle that she hadn't knocked anything over yet. Her proclivity to also get ontop of every step-ladder she could find in the shop was also cause for concern, as the clerk at the counter was giving her and Alice the stink-eye anytime she did... Not that the bubbly satyr noticed, of course.

After a bit of pointless running running around and idle chit-chatting, Brandy finally stopped infront of a particular shelf. Turning to face it, her eyes scanned up and down, side to side and then digaonially along the racks of various item, seeming to searching for something. And then! Like a bolt of lightning from the clear sky, her eyes lit up with sparkles as they fell upon the legendary and mysterious item she'd beenj searching for!

...

...

...

A wood-carved rooster.

Yup. That sure was a wooden rooster, carved with a knife. Not of particularly good make either. Not bad, like, you could tell it was a rooster and everything, but it wasn't extraordinairy or remarkable in any way... It did have 'Gnarlton General' carved into both wings though.

"There it is! Maa-haa~! The Rooster General! I'm so lucky, I was 'totes sure someone else woulda been in and bought it before I could. Phew." The satyress let out a sigh of relief, as if she'd just been able to grab the last jar of discount mayonaise from a supermarket's limited-time sale or something... Grabbing the woody hen-statue, she held it up and turned it over a few times, before holidn it out to Alice.

"Ain't it great, Al? Who thinks up stuff like this, I mean? A chicken that's a general? Maa-haa-haa! That's so silly, I love it." The tanned bombshell laughed, apparently completely ignorant that what she thought the text on her prize's sides meant wasn't in fact what they meant at all....

Bringing the carving over to the clerk, she proudly presented her purchase to the clerk, who stared at it for a bit, before looking up at Brandy. He said somehting under his breath, along the lines of: I never thought anyone would buy this old things - or something of that nature, but Brandy either didn't hear it, or didn't care. Regardless, she paid the rather pitiful cost of the rooster, smiling from ear to ear as she picked it up and held it up into the air, with a fanfare of: Doo-doo-dee-doo~ playing in the background, somehow...

"Oh yeah! That reminds me. Al, you wanna get something while we're here too? Might be some thick sticks for you to gnaw on." A smug-looking Brandy said with suggestively half-closed eyes.

Other than that though, she gently put the carved statuette into her oversized backpack and then hefted said pack back onto herself. If Alice had nothing she wanted to buy or get before they left, the pair could just head on over to the south gate and meet up with Sofia.

Tales Of Shizuyama (Far-Eastern Monster Girl RP)

@Crowvette @Nakushita

Go Io, Go Yuki! Kick that swordsman's ass! Go, go Team Death Oni!
*Waves pom-poms around and jumps up and down like a lunatic*

... Oh, and I suppose Shizuka can go smile at butterflies.

Tales Of Shizuyama (Far-Eastern Monster Girl RP)

Death to horny hornets...

Tales Of Shizuyama (Far-Eastern Monster Girl RP)

Relica

@PaulHaynek, @Rezod92, @The Irish Tree

---

Relica's sneeer vanished as quickly as it had appeared. As Kerry began to ramble about and old war-story, the gremlin was initially a bit confused. Why was she bringing up a tale about just the two of them? There was nothing ... romantic... about... that... ... ... story...

After hearing the re-telling of what happend back then in those olden days, Relica closed her eyes and folded her arms. She had a complicated face on. She was sorting through her own mind and memories, mumbling something under her breahth. Eventually though, fuzzy, out-of-focus images started appearing in her mind and, the harder and more she tried to recall, the brighter and brighter red her little face turned. Until her eyes finally snapped open, her face less green now and more of a tomato, and her golden eyes glowed with the fury of a thousand suns.

"Currrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyy...!" She hissed something fierce, and the mechanical octo-arms on her backpack began to move about threateningly, menacomgöy clasping and snapping with their graspers, fully prepared to de-wing a certain hornet, out of eithe rage or embarrassment, or btoh. Fortunately for the latter, she had already fled the dwelling, and Relica's anger thus went without being unleashed, which was probably a good thing. that is, until a voice from behind her piped up and began a barrage of questions.

Spinning around, Relica found the sickly boy now sitting up, leaning forward and eyes alight with stars and sunshine, excitedely asking things that were highly inaccurate and deserving of a spanking! But, despite her rage and being a rat in a cage, she couldn't very well discipline someone who was dying from having eaten poisonous mushrooms.- Thus, the gremlin had to suck it up, try and calm down as best she could, and then answer and diffuse this whole debaucle her friend had caused.

"No, no! Shush! Shut up, boy! We're not together! As if I'd ever choose a muscle-head like that as my partner. That story was just... It was... Just... Something that happend long ago. Don't read too much into it, okay? iOKAY!?" She was... trying... to be as calm about this as possible. But given the fact that she'd just been told, and remembered, that she'd possibly done something like that with another girl was a bit... Upsetting... to the gremlin. She didn't have those sort of intestes when sober, so she felt a bit likea certain someone had used the situation to do something they shouldn't have.

"A-anyway! Obivously two girls can't have kids, boy. Well, maybe some of the more magic-savvy monsters can, the ones who can conjure up man-bits for themseves or whatever, but generally ya need a male and a female to make babies." Relica explained, her face less red now and her breathing had steadied. She was also no longer glaring daggers at everything. Taking a deep breath and looking at the boy, she walked over to the bed and put her tiny gloved arms up, beginning to push on him. "Now, you lie back down. Someone in your condition shouldn't be moving about. You don't wanna get worse before that baldie and your mom get back, do ya?" Nurse Relica was on the case! ... Well, not really, she just didn't want to deal with anymore stupid questions.

Then an idea struck her. She looked over at Eula and called out.

"Hey, Eula! You wouldn't happen to be equipped with a bio-scan module, would ya? If so, could you give the kid a look-over? If we can identify what toxins inside him we could probably whip up an antidote if the right plans and other ingredients are aobut." She suggested, hoping that the Automaton was blessed with this handy function. Otherwise there'd be no choice but to wait for the monk to get back.

... And then she could murder Kerry.

Tales Of Shizuyama (Far-Eastern Monster Girl RP)

Also, Xaltwind rescinded their latest character. :(

@PaulHaynek

Ye, I stinx. :<

Now to figure out how an enraged and embarrassed Relica is going to deal with a bright-and-sparkly

-love-struck-teenage boy and diffusing any misonceptions...

... We don't need his house, right? I'm not sying something will happen to it, I'm just saying that if something did, we wouldn't be held accountable, right? o3o

Tales Of Shizuyama (Far-Eastern Monster Girl RP)

EDIT:

I changed my mind, again.

Tales Of Shizuyama (Far-Eastern Monster Girl RP)

*Watches as Relica pulls out and begins charging the Hyper-Velocity Ray Cannon*

Tales Of Shizuyama (Far-Eastern Monster Girl RP)

Relica

@PaulHaynek, @Rezod92, @The Irish Tree

---

"Who're you calling a shortstack you muscle-brained bumble-bimbo?!"

Had this been a certain saturday cartoon by a certain company, this would've been the point in the episode where Relica would've leapt onto kerry and caused the two to end up in a distrubingly localized cloud of dust, while the sound of honking, clammering, bopping and other nonsensical sound effects were emitted from their tussle. Sadly, this is wasn't an episode of that particular brand, and instead the gremlin just glared at her companion with a large, visible vein on her temple and her hands on her waist while tryijng to look inttimidating. Y'know, despite being like, half of Kerry's actual size...

At the comment from Eula though, regarding the composition and usefulness of the defeated Varjans equipment, Relica simply frowned and shook her head.

[color=limee]"Don't think those refugees would have much use of this stuff, even if they could use it. From what I hear, these Zipanguese have this weird hierarchy of who gets to throw a sword around and who doesn't. 'Sides, not sure I'd wanna arm up people who might stab us in our sleep."[/color] The little gremlin stated, still quite aware and vary of the locals, as they had spent their past few hundred years of pseudo-isolation hating monsterkind. And she didn't really feel comfortable entrusting a mob of them - desperate, homeless and full of emotions - with pointy and sharp things. Who knew if they'd actually use them against the right side?

Then Mister Monk wanted to leave, and so they did.

Relica was a bit annoyed that the man had more or less ignored her question about how he was so well-informed about the situation in a place he supposedly hadn't been to, but she opted not to press the matter. After all, it really wasn't any of her business and, if worse came to worse, she could always level the place by releasing some of her magitek bombs should this moonk and his plight prove to be a sinister and elaborate trap.

The walk to the village was rather uneventful, apart from the random bickering and snide, verbal banter between the gremlin and the hornet, and Relica periodically checking over her back to look over how Eula was doing. Though, to call it a village was a bit of a stretch... It was more like, a hamlet... Or a settlement... Or... a handful of lone houses in the sticks... Yeah... She wasn't sure what she'd expected, but it certainly wasn't this. It looked like all the sick people were at least staying indoors and not shuffling about outside, so at least that was go--

... And there it was. A maiden in distress. Coming out of her house and running up to them without a shred of doubt that they were here to do good. Not at all phased by the fact that this travelling healer was flanked by no less than three monsters. Perhaps the woman's love for her child had made her blind and hystericcal enough to not notice them? Oer perhaps the local fear of monster didn't extend to eceryone? Or maybe it was something else entirely. Regardless, the outcome of this interaction was already as clear as transparent glass. Without hesitation or asking for their opinion, the bald bastard pulled his entourage along with him as they went to inspect the home of the distressed mother.

As the humans talked, Relica only paid a minute amount of attention to their words, but it seemed that the son of this household had eaten something he shouldn't have.

"... Idiot... Who goes and stuffs unknown fungus into your motuh just 'cuz your hungry..." Relica murmured under her breath. She wasn't wrong though, out of all the things you could eat when desperate, mushrooms were pretty low on the list of candidates. Bird egs, reptile eggs, insects, plant roots, nuts, wild vegetables... There was a whole bunch of things one could stuff in their gob that wasn't a dice roll on getting poisoned or not. Then again, these people probably didn't know the different between an acorn and a pine cone. She sighed.

Eventually, the mother and the monk departed the home, leaving the care of this young male boy in the hands of three complete strangers. Who were monsters. Relica felt a twinge of annoyance. Babysitting? Really? She, a war-veteran and battle engineer, reduced to watching over some random kid in the boonies? What the hell was this, some kind of sick joke? Yeah sure, they were meant to improve relations and prove to the populace they weren't a threat, but how was helpign one random kid and his mother, in a village with five homes, that they weren't actually baby-eating abominations of doom!?

...

...

...

Then the boy piped up, knocking Relica out of her own head-space. She looked over her sohulder at him, lying their on a straw mat, clutching his gut as if he'd been impaled by a spear. She then shifted her gaze to look around the rest of the house.

"Dunno, boy. Different people like different things and types, true for monsters and humans alike. But if you don't wanna look like a loser, make sure you live through this and flash her a confident smile. Nothing makes a girl happier than seeing their love pull through a crisis and come out on top smelling like roses." The old soldier grunted most of her words. She wasn't an expect on the topic, of course. The only relations she'd had was with fellow soldiers, and those hadn't been more than casual flings and heat-of-the-moment type escapades. Perhaps the bumbling bee-bimbo could offer more sagacious and useful advice.

She looked at Eula.

... No... A clinical explanation of the hormonal, psychological and pervasive chemical reactions that formed the foundation of 'love' was probably not what the boy needed right now...

"How's your arm, Eula? No worse from all the walking I hope." She asked, then looking at Kerry. "Why not regale the boy with tales of your romantic exploits, Curry?" She sneered.

Tales Of Shizuyama (Far-Eastern Monster Girl RP)

@Xaltwind

He did this before, although it wasn't this degenerate.

Anyway, he has the original text at the bottom of his post.

@PaulHaynek

THIS WAS A PAIN TO READ!

@Rezod92

Thank you, Master Rezod, you are a gentleman and a scolar, my good sir. *bows head*

@PaulHaynek
*Glaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare*

Tales Of Shizuyama (Far-Eastern Monster Girl RP)

What the actual fuwk is this abomination? My brain. It hurts. Stop. Make it stop. T~T

I'll... I'll just skip this update... Yeah... I'll read the next one.