LegendBegins said
Because David drinks one type of tea regularly. =P

Zeal said
Okie then.

Heroic said
Ollo

Heroic said
Ollo

whizzball1 said
Think you could look this over? It's not done, obviously, but still. Clunky language is easier to find in shorter intervals. If anything seems unrealistic, if language is boring, you know, normal editing stuff.EDIT: BTW, the unpublished view password is PerfectlyNormalKnife.

Host said
Okay. So there was a typo. "The look on DIamond's face" as opposed to "Diamond's."And I felt that the second "mind was muddled" was a little redundant. Although, It wasn't really clear how the knife played to the magic, and I can only assume the dark magic was the cause of the attitude.

but ah may have accidentally mixed myself up and put the stuff for an aura colour changer too.”

whizzball1 said
It wasn't dark magic, actually.Which attitude? What do you mean by the knife played to the magic?

Host said
The story makes it seem like the knife changed something, and I thought what Applebloom said was a bluff. And she seemed really disrespectful.

whizzball1 said
I'm not trying to project the image that the knife is changing anything, though. I guess I'll have to change a few responses. What quotes seemed disrespectful?

Host said
Her talking to Cheerilee?

whizzball1 said
The only thing AB said to Cheerilee was why Sweetie's magic aura was black.

Host said
No, what Scootaloo said.

whizzball1 said
Oh, that was to Sweetie Belle. Terrible at magic. The blunt way she said it is normal to the way I've seen her act in the show. What do you think?

Host said
Oh, alright. It's was pretty well written.

whizzball1 said
:D I had a lot of experience back when I was pony roleplaying. Eventually I decided to try my hand at actual writing (which as it turns out is obviously nearly exactly the same).

Host said
Well I would hope so.

whizzball1 said
Heh, yeah. So I'll be writing more soon.