Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dextkiller
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Dextkiller

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<Snipped quote by DeltaV>


This is interesting. I do find your explanations interesting. The only problem that I could see arising is that he simply has too many abilities. Other people being in contact with him could be confusing because they have to remember all the things he can do.

On that note, he'd basically be useless if he ever wanted to oppose Daen. The Unraveller seems like the ultimate antithesis to this guy. Nearly all your character's powers are focused on mental influence or infiltration ( feeling peoples minds) which Daen is entirely immune to.

So guys, if you're afraid of him, just come hang out with me ;D
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Tuujaimaa
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Tuujaimaa The Saint of Wings

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Note to self: murder hang around with Daen. ;)
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Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Charzy
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Charzy

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So, I'm very, very new to this forum (in fact, I made this account for this post!), and I haven't really done an RP like this before. It looks fun though, and I hope you'll all find me as fun to RP with as I hope to find you!
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ravenDivinity
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ravenDivinity many signs and wonders

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@Charzy: I must capture the Avatar.

All jokes aside, welcome! Your character seems pretty fair and straightforward, so I'll accept it.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Guilty Spark
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Guilty Spark A Relic of the Past

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@Dextkiller Although I didn't restate it in the abilities section, my character's history contains references to his own extremely potent willpower (though that isn't an immunity).
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by jasonwolf
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jasonwolf Hunter, Trainer, Ranger, Master

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@ravenDivinity I think I'm just about done. I'm up for changes, but yeah this is what I have. At most I might change his armor to something more fancy.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Kingfisher
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Kingfisher Observing or participating?

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A man has made the requested changes to his application (Just to clarify, I did discuss them with raven before posting in the CS tab)

I'm pretty damn hyped to eat people get going with this one
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ravenDivinity
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ravenDivinity many signs and wonders

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@Kingfisher: Yup yup!
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dextkiller
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Dextkiller

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@ravenDivinity Technically it's Zuko who has to capture the avatar

*cough* watched TLA like 400 times through *cough*

*cough* now I look pretentious *cough*
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dead Cruiser
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Dead Cruiser Dishonour Before Death / Better You Than Me

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My issues @yoshua171 are basically thus:

The only problem that I could see arising is that he simply has too many abilities. Other people being in contact with him could be confusing because they have to remember all the things he can do.


As I have mentioned previously, I find his powers to be needlessly complex, and could easily be distilled into a concept far more intuitive and less reliant on walls of text to explain.

Also, the "limitations" on the sword and the mind-rending are basically "pacifism," which aren't really limitations at all. Your character can and has previously used these abilities on people with almost no provocation, with nearly nothing that can be done to stop him.

You also didn't address the character's biography, which I also find kind of absurd and nonsensical. It doesn't read to me like a legend or historical account as much as it reads like, "these are the things that happened so this character could possibly exist."
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Corvidae
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Corvidae one shot, / one kill

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I'm pretty damn hyped to eat people get going with this one


kinky
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ravenDivinity
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ravenDivinity many signs and wonders

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@Dextkiller: [cough cough] I know that, I recently rewatched TLA like 3 times. [cough cough]
[cough cough] I'm saying that I need to capture the Avatar. (which is just a little tease at Charzy's character) [cough cough]
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dead Cruiser
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Dead Cruiser Dishonour Before Death / Better You Than Me

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A man has made the requested changes to his application (Just to clarify, I did discuss them with raven before posting in the CS tab)

I'm pretty damn hyped to eat people get going with this one


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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Celaira
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Celaira Lore Mistress

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@Dead Cruiser I'm going to address your last point because the myth he has is shared between three characters, yet it seems to only be a problem for Lyr? Please explain.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by yoshua171
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yoshua171 The Loremaster

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My issues @yoshua171 are basically thus:
<Snipped quote by Dextkiller>

As I have mentioned previously, I find his powers to be needlessly complex, and could easily be distilled into a concept far more intuitive and less reliant on walls of text to explain.

Also, the "limitations" on the sword and the mind-rending are basically "pacifism," which aren't really limitations at all. Your character can and has previously used these abilities on people with almost no provocation, with nearly nothing that can be done to stop him.

You also didn't address the character's biography, which I also find kind of absurd and nonsensical. It doesn't read to me like a legend or historical account as much as it reads like, "these are the things that happened so this character could possibly exist."

I offered to write a summary, Raven just said either remove the titles and call it some name similar to soul magic or whatnot. I called it Invocation as that is the form of the magic, kept the titles, and put it in a hider titled as the aforementioned. Seeing as he has accepted that, it must be alright.

I went into specifics to avoid his abilities being pegged as "powerful with no weaknesses". I accept your criticism, but I don't think I'll be rewriting those abilities. The closest I may do is write a summary.

As to the limitations on Mind Rend, your assessment is inaccurate. The two primary downsides of the ability are as follow:

>It drains the user's sanity (which causes a feedback loop forcing him to gather more spirits and energy and to feed on them to maintain himself, which is bad in a more long term sort of way).

>It requires four times the energy to rend a mind. It's a 4:1 ratio and the implication is that minds already possess a lot of their own energy. So gathering 4 times that energy and then considering that Lyr would also willingly have to decide to sacrifice a portion of his sanity and mental well being is kind of a big deal. I mentioned his pacifism as an additional point, not as the primary weakness.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Dead Cruiser
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Dead Cruiser Dishonour Before Death / Better You Than Me

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@Dead Cruiser I'm going to address your last point because the myth he has is shared between three characters, yet it seems to only be a problem for Lyr? Please explain.


The backstory unique to Lyr speaks of a character with basically no agency, and a story strung together by contrivances and frequent occurrences of literal Deus Ex Machina. It feels shallow and overwrought, meant to be understood by recognition of common plot devices, rather than any underlying themes or characterization.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Guilty Spark
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Guilty Spark A Relic of the Past

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@Celaira The deal with Lazarus is shared between three characters, but their origins before that aren't. Honestly, I have to agree with Dead Cruiser. The sequence of Dormeria's mythology preceding the triumvirate's confrontation with Lazarus is more concerted, and better executed (in my opinion) than Lyr's.

Edit: Although I'm not going to push the issue as doggedly.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by DeltaV
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DeltaV

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I just have one more question to ask. At the beginning of Lyr's backstory, he's about to be killed when he presumably manages to summon a bolt of lightning to strike the executioner's sword, simultaneously killing the man and sending his weapon into the heart of the town leader. How does this at all mesh into the description of his powers?
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Dead Cruiser
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Dead Cruiser Dishonour Before Death / Better You Than Me

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<Snipped quote by Dead Cruiser>
I offered to write a summary, Raven just said either remove the titles and call it some name similar to soul magic or whatnot. I called it Invocation as that is the form of the magic, kept the titles, and put it in a hider titled as the aforementioned. Seeing as he has accepted that, it must be alright.

I went into specifics to avoid his abilities being pegged as "powerful with no weaknesses". I accept your criticism, but I don't think I'll be rewriting those abilities. The closest I may do is write a summary.


You're literally telling me, "I see what's wrong, and I was even told to change it by the GM, but I'm still not going to do anything about it."

I'll take the point for the mind rending, though this doesn't explain why he was able to use it so frequently in the past. Still no weakness for the sword, nor explanation for his backstory.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ravenDivinity
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ravenDivinity many signs and wonders

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Applications are now closed. If you expressed interest in the interest check or if you are a veteran of the old roleplay, submissions are still opened to you. This does not retroactively apply to people who have a character in the works as of now. Everyone else who wants to join that does not fit into the other groups must apply via PM.

@jasonwolf: I had a look at your character sheet, and I approve.
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