Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Thecrash20
Raw
Avatar of Thecrash20

Thecrash20

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@Thecrash20 I am going to point out a few things here.

1. Mitarashi clan doesn't actually have a Kekkei Genkai. The snake summonings are related to Oorchimaru, who doesn't even exist in this universe. So I'd need a good reason how your character learns it. Not to mention, the clan which you are using is associated with the Fire Release, so why would their KG rely on the Lightning release? Furthermore, the Thunder part of it isn't anywhere in the canon, meaning you created this custom KG. Which as I have stated in the Interest Check, which you were apart of, must be pm'd to me beforehand and approved. However; I do not approve this KG. Considering that you state it gives the ability to use the Space-Time Jutsu of summoning snakes. Space-Time Jutsu is; 1. Extremely high-level, most techniques are around 'A' ranked for Space-time. 2. Is not a Kekkei Genkai trait, and has nothing to do with the summoning jutsu. Furthermore, snakes cannot conduct electricty terribly well, so it just makes no sense to even exist.

Therefore, I will not be accepting this Kekkei Genkai.

2. Read my rules. You have it listed that he is a Genin, which is what the rules say, then in your background turn around and say he already took the Chuunin exams and graduated to Chuunin? Thats against the rules. You all start as Genin. The Chuunin exams come later in the rp, and there is still no guarantee that you would even pass. Fix that, and read the rules.

3. Your lightning limbs technique is basically a more advanced version of Chidori, which is an A ranked technique as is. You're a Genin, you can have C rank as your highest technique. Your lightning limbs is an A ranked, minimum.

4. Lightning Serpent Strike, to be the level you stated, would have to be about the same power as the Lightning Beast Tracking Fang, which means it can't kill on its own. But stuns rather effectively.

5. Running lightning along the snakes to make a ranged attack is pretty complex, making that technique B ranked. So you can do it once you reach the rank of Chuunin.

6. Why did your character and his mother leave their clan? Literally abandoning their family because their father died in an unrelated incident? That... doesn't make sense.

Overall: Your character is not accepted at the moment. I will need you to correct what has been stated. Meaning;

* Remove the KG outright.
* Fix the rank issue and backstory so they both make sense.
* Fix and adjust your custom techniques.
* Give me a good reason in the backstory why you know the summoning snakes technique.


You got me on 2nd point(Funny enough I just read it and was coming to edit it). But the rest you basically told me to make a whole new character. So ill try again, I'll be a little more bland this time. Not to confuse anyone with anything.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
Raw
GM
Avatar of JessieTargaryen

JessieTargaryen Celestial Queen-in-Waiting

Member Seen 4 mos ago

@Thecrash20 You do you. You're allowed to have a creative an interesting character, but its got to make sense.

On that note, do look forward to seeing what you come up with next. Let me know when you're finished, or PM me if you got questions.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Thecrash20
Raw
Avatar of Thecrash20

Thecrash20

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@Thecrash20 You do you. You're allowed to have a creative an interesting character, but its got to make sense.

On that note, do look forward to seeing what you come up with next. Let me know when you're finished, or PM me if you got questions.


Oh dont take that the wrong way. It's just a lot easier to be less creative and just jack things from the og show. Which ill probably be doing now. The char sheet took like 2 hours to make, so I'll try in under an hour this time.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
Raw
GM
Avatar of JessieTargaryen

JessieTargaryen Celestial Queen-in-Waiting

Member Seen 4 mos ago

@Thecrash20,

As long as it is a character you'll enjoy.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Masaki Haruna
Raw
Avatar of Masaki Haruna

Masaki Haruna OLD TESTAMENT

Member Seen 7 yrs ago



Kindly tell me on what I need to edit more.

@Jasonhero I'll be honest and please listen as I speak for myself. I am a Sasuke fan but I am not one of those said fans who wanks him to oblivion and I'm not trying to be like him. Furthermore I notice majority here are haters, yes I understand but calm down for a while, we don't want a scenario of "We hate each other because you love him and you love this fanbase so we hate you etc." I don't wanna get on a wrong foot here. I also understand the hate for Mr. S. Just for respect purposes of those who are avid Uchiha fans or Sasuke fans. I request for everyone to never mention anything about Sasuke because I feel like it would just ruin everyone's well being here. We RP for a good purpose and enjoy, not preach how bad Sasuke and such said character. I am trying to make peace here and settle this in a professional manner.

To sum it short, let's respect each other's opinions and fan favorited characters.

When making the sheet, I just wrote it off the bat and had time constraints back then because of things I have to do irl, personal reasons. I thank you for correcting me. Now that you have given me time to organize it, I thank you again.

>I got rid of the Quiverless stuff.
>I fixed the the stuff you want me to take out.
>I explained the bear killing and who killed it.

Sorry if we got in the wrong direction.
1x Like Like
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
Raw
GM
Avatar of JessieTargaryen

JessieTargaryen Celestial Queen-in-Waiting

Member Seen 4 mos ago

@Masaki Haruna
Now for my response:

1. As far as I've noticed, I was the only one who mentioned Sasuke. At all. There was no inclination whether the majority here are haters, so I'd much appreciate if you don't make generalizations like that about others.

2. I did no preaching, so I'd also appreciate you not making that generalization. I mentioned him once.

3. I know full well why we rp. It was a mention of my opinion on a character which was being used to tell you the vibe your cs was giving off, all you had to do was say 'Hey man, please don't talk bad about him.' Or something along those lines, not a full tirade. Frankly it comes off as insulting to my intelligence.

I do not intend to make accusations here, and am simply letting you know that is how it came off. Whether or not it was meant that way (though I'd like to say I like to think you didn't mean it that way.)


Either way, we got off in the wrong direction indeed. I'm sorry I said something about him. I'd just like to ask you to keep others in mind. As like I said, your response there did come off as if you were insulting my intelligence.




That mess aside,

Your character seems mostly fine.

I just need to know who that woman is.

I'm guessing his mother, if that is the case, then I feel it fair to warn you that she'd be considered a wanted criminal for leaving the village. That's considered treason and punishable by death, as leaving without permission is considered treason in the village. Either way, not a threat; just figured it fair to give you a heads up.

If I'm wrong, then apologies and please do correct me.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Masaki Haruna
Raw
Avatar of Masaki Haruna

Masaki Haruna OLD TESTAMENT

Member Seen 7 yrs ago

@Jasonhero

It's all cool~

Indeed. It's the mother. Which I need to discuss with you soon enough.

EDIT: Touka Kirishima is also my fav.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
Raw
GM
Avatar of JessieTargaryen

JessieTargaryen Celestial Queen-in-Waiting

Member Seen 4 mos ago

@Masaki Haruna
Just shoot a PM when you wish you talk about the mother and stuff. I'd prefer sooner rather than later. I am about to head off to bed right now, but all weekend I am available to discuss it. For now, I am going to say I accept the character then.

If anything needs to be changed after the discussion about his mother, then you can just update. Rouka will be assigned to Team 9. Expect the roster updated momentarily.



Also, I was really confused about the Touka comment, then remembered I have a Touka gif in my signature. (It is a gif rotator so it changes everytime you reload the page. I forget what I have in there all the time.) I figured it out tho.
1x Like Like
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by rusty4297
Raw
Avatar of rusty4297

rusty4297 The Midnight Mastermind

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

Hey guys, it's your co-GM (by force-I mean... choice). So my character is a jounin, here, that doesn't mean others should try to follow that example or use my character as a reference or anything, as he is pretty powerful due to his being a jounin. Good? Good. That said, if I messed anything up, feel free to tell me, and I'll change it ASAP, Jasonhero.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Taka
Raw
Avatar of Taka

Taka The Last Son of Vegeta

Member Seen 1 mo ago

@Bright_Ops

@Dirty Dan

@Jasonhero

So the idea is that I'm looking to expose the Hyuuga hierachy and show that even they have corruption since most Naruto material has their clan as "Squeaky clean". Basically during the Kumogakure explosion, Haitani's father and Uncle were killed since they were the closest to everything. It's akin to younger asian times when younger heirs would be forced to take over (Though more a fictional thing). Technically he is just the face whilst his cousin is making all the real decisions till Haitani is "ready" and he understands that.

I'm gonna get to the character and seeing the ties I can make with characters for the people that offered their character up for friendships. :D
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Thecrash20
Raw
Avatar of Thecrash20

Thecrash20

Member Seen 4 yrs ago




@Jasonhero A newer one. The Hatake Clan has no real KG, So I just made one that makes sense due to their lightning affinity.

"Plug up his damn air holes with your bodies".


Oh my...
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Taka
Raw
Avatar of Taka

Taka The Last Son of Vegeta

Member Seen 1 mo ago

(Posting the CS for now. GOing to work on the history in a bit but for now tell me how you like it. Hopefully it is acceptable in every form. I placed restrictions on certain jutsu to make them much lower then they would be normally.)


"Even through blindness, I can see victory before me."





1x Like Like
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
Raw
GM
Avatar of JessieTargaryen

JessieTargaryen Celestial Queen-in-Waiting

Member Seen 4 mos ago

@rusty4297 Aceepted. EVERYBODY ON TEAM 9, THAT'S YOUR SENSEI. If you want, read his cs to get an idea what you might know about him (the background).




@Kal-El Going to say to no to having you even be the face of it at the moment. You're a kid, they would've outright put the cousin in charge until you're deemed mature enough. (So are 17 or so).




@Halvtand, Character is good. Welcome to Team 2. If you want, look at Tomiko's cs to learn a bit about your sensei.

Onto the headcanon stuff, I will just list the ones not being used.

1. While I am fine with Animosity, remember the Hyuuga do feel the way they do about being royalty-esque for a reason. They're extremely talented in certain fields, such as combat and sensory techniques. Whereas this point just seems to make them out to be worse than the Aburame at one of their cornerstones. So here, the animosity comes from the breaking of social protocol by one of the sides, and because the whole going crazy side effect.

2. The sunglasses was not an order, it is a choice by the clan. The Hokages are much more capable people than being unnerved by a stare.

3. The Village was designed by the Senju and Uchiha when they founded the place, so unfortunately the Aburame did not design it.

4. Do note that if reinforcing your bones, you will not be able to use the swarms without them leaving the broken bone.

5. Just gonna let you know, the GMs will be deciding if a bug in the wild responds to you.

Otherwise all is good.




@Thecrash20, Once again, you didn't message me beforehand asking about the KG as I requested.

1. Channeling Chakra into your weapons is quite the difficult technique. Hence why my Jounin has that as a special ability. You can learn that once you become a Chuunin.

2. Kenjutsu and sword play are the same thing. So you simultaneously have good and average swordplay. Nothing major, just remove the average one, yeah?

3. The character creation section says all of you are about to graduate; meaning you aren't genin yet. But your cs states that you're already a genin. Fix that, please.

4. The purple streak on the sword makes no sense, unless infused with Chakra. Which will be a constant drain. Remove the purple streak so it's just the sword. The sword can be conductive of Chakra, which means you'd be able to channel lightning Chakra into the weapon while wielding it. But there is no purple streak.

Fix those then let me know.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
Raw
GM
Avatar of JessieTargaryen

JessieTargaryen Celestial Queen-in-Waiting

Member Seen 4 mos ago

@Kal-El Why you gotta ninja post me, man? DENIED >=C.

Kidding.

Anyways, a few things I want to point out;

1. Interesting idea, I like it.

2. You're not the current clan leader, your cousin is the current leader. You will be once you're old enough.

3. As far as your character knows, Ryu is a boy. Just a note.

4. For Eight-Trigrams; a Genin is only capable of up to 24 palms. Anymore will rip your muscles, and make you pass tf out.

5. Orbiting Heaven, is a C rank and will drain your Chakra by alot. Cause it's pretty powerful.

Adjust those and gimme that background please!
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Halvtand
Raw
Avatar of Halvtand

Halvtand The Voice of Reason

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@Jasonhero
Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup. All fine, all good.
Just to clarify about the animosity and sensor thing. This is more of a comment on the difference between their methods that could breed dislike or a sense of rivalry, rather than the relative effectiveness of said methods. All-seeing eyes against all the eyes seeing. Reading again, I guess it kind of sounds like "and this happens all the time", but in reality I think it would be at least 60/40 in favour of the Hyuuga, if not more. The single fact that it does happen and the complete lack of manners from the Aburame would be what sets the Hyuuga's teeth on edge. I have no doubt that when they get to the Hokage first they are much more humble and instead says something like "Yes, my scouts informed me of the same not long ago, but your confirmation of this in invaluable". I just get the vibe that even when they have the chance to gloat they'd take the high road and be royal.

Anyway, I'm fine with what you decided. Just to double-check, two swarms operating like I described is ok? I'm planning on getting more as we progress to simulate tamaki's body (and the hive) growing in size, as well as him getting some kind of external (expansion slot) hive as well.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
Raw
GM
Avatar of JessieTargaryen

JessieTargaryen Celestial Queen-in-Waiting

Member Seen 4 mos ago

@Halvtand Let's say one swarm starting out. You can get a second later after you've been training as a genin for a while (I'll message ya when)
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Bright_Ops
Raw
Avatar of Bright_Ops

Bright_Ops The Insane Scholar

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

@Kal-El

Just so you know, Tsuyoi would have a lot of fun with Haitani... not playing with him per say, but just more playing him at times. After all, any rightful heir to a major clan needs an education on the dangerous hydra that is politics and shinobi life and the various methods that someone can cause you harm and try to destroy you; That and his constant assurance that his cousin is going to try and kill him at some point in a power play.

He doesn't know Haitani's cousin nor does he actually know what kind of plans he might have in the works, but history has proven that power does funny things to people... and that the rightful ruler is often the one who gets crowned, normally after wading through a river of blood.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Dirty Dan
Raw
Avatar of Dirty Dan

Dirty Dan boo

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

(Posting the CS for now. GOing to work on the history in a bit but for now tell me how you like it. Hopefully it is acceptable in every form. I placed restrictions on certain jutsu to make them much lower then they would be normally.)


"Even through blindness, I can see victory before me."







I like him. Considering they are the heirs of two of the most influential clans of Konoha, it's not unlikely that they would see each other often out of class. Seeing as they've been friends for ten years, I'm guessing that Tetsuo was around 5 when they met, and Haitani was around 6-7?
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by JessieTargaryen
Raw
GM
Avatar of JessieTargaryen

JessieTargaryen Celestial Queen-in-Waiting

Member Seen 4 mos ago

@Thecrash20 Please remove your character sheet from the accepted characters tab until I have officially accepted it, thank you.

Character sheets which have not yet been giving official acceptance in this thread by me or Rusty get posted in this thread. You will not be assigned a team until this has been done.
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet