Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Cloakedrider
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Cloakedrider

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@irredeemable I want to join in, hoe do I sign for it?
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Timemaster
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Timemaster Ashevelendar

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@Cloakedrider Hi Cloak, join us on discord : discord.com/invite/PDvNcpQ6Br

You will be able to see what's being said but in order to "talk", you'll need to send Irr a NS via PM or post it here.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Enigmatik
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Enigmatik Overly-Caffienated Thembie Supreme

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@Cloakedrider Time explained the basics, but if you want to ask any more questions, I'm here!
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Damo021
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Damo021

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I shall have a 95% complete WIP coming up soon, been busy with a house move happening in 4 days.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Sigma
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Sigma

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@Cloakedrider What nation are you thinking of making?

@Damo021 Keep up the good work! Looking forward to see the final product!
Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by Antediluvixen
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Antediluvixen Kemonomimi Dystopia Creator

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Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by Damo021
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Damo021

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Here is my WIP, mostly done, couple bits to finish and then some clean up :) been doing this around packing for my move so hope ya'll like it.

Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Keyguyperson
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Keyguyperson Welcome to Cyberhell

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Here's my "Acceptably Completeish NS". I have yet to flesh out the military section, but frankly that's the least important part anyways and you more or less get the idea as is. Also I have an early shift tomorrow, can't be bothered to write up ship descriptions right now, and just wanna talk in the Discord.



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Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by Timemaster
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Timemaster Ashevelendar

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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Cloakedrider
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Cloakedrider

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@Cloakedrider What nation are you thinking of making?

@Damo021 Keep up the good work! Looking forward to see the final product!


A Guardian Angel Nation, if that's okay?
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Cloakedrider
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Cloakedrider

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@Cloakedrider Hi Cloak, join us on discord : discord.com/invite/PDvNcpQ6Br

You will be able to see what's being said but in order to "talk", you'll need to send Irr a NS via PM or post it here.


Hello, the Discord isn't working
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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ClocktowerEchos Friendly Neighborhood / Landmine Enthusiast

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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Sigma
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Sigma

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@Cloakedrider Hmm, I guess that depends, mind explaining it a bit?
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Enigmatik
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Enigmatik Overly-Caffienated Thembie Supreme

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@Damo021 Just need the military and you're good.

@Keyguyperson Christ that's a biggun. You've mentioned the military's a little sparse but honestly it's not that important, your nation is outlined excellently. If you want to post, go ahead, but do ill in the military at some point.

@Timemaster The characters tab has been messed up again thanks to list + sub and I'd like just a bit more fleshing out of most areas of the sheet bar the history, but it's getting there.
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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Cloakedrider
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Cloakedrider

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Here's my "Acceptably Completeish NS". I have yet to flesh out the military section, but frankly that's the least important part anyways and you more or less get the idea as is. Also I have an early shift tomorrow, can't be bothered to write up ship descriptions right now, and just wanna talk in the Discord.



Do you have a PHD in English or something? How are you able to write so well, so extensively.

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Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by ClocktowerEchos
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ClocktowerEchos Friendly Neighborhood / Landmine Enthusiast

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@Cloakedrider Practice and exprience, most of us have been doing this for literal years at this point.
Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by Cloakedrider
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Guardian Angels

Location
The Heaven-Realm, consist of a series of Halo Planets on the outskirts of our currently known multiverse, within an indigo-blue nebula and Planet Tzak is in the Heaven Realm.
Demographics
The population of the Heaven-Realm planets is estimated to be 76 billion and on-going. Guardian Angels form 50% of the population whilst the other 50% is formed from humans.

However, the population on planet Tzak is estimated to be 100,000.
Planet Tzak.
Planet Tzak is a planet very similar to Earth. However, it contains very significant godly locations within it such as the Garden of Eden, the Garden of Lilith, God’s Centralised Government for the Heaven Realm, and God’s Guardian Angel Academy.
Planet Tzak Education
The Education of Planet Tzak is the most advanced in the Heaven Realm. It teaches Guardian Angel Science. Guardian Angel Science teaches that the multiverse which consist of heaven, purgatory, and hell realms are composed of microscopic, telescopic, and scenery-treadmill skin adjectives. They are named skin adjectives because an individual adds the materials, or neurotransmitters to their basic skin. There are 118 basic skin adjectives which are in the skin adjective table, then they form into innumerable materials, and neurotransmitters.
It also teaches the microscopic skin adjectives, which humans call electrons, are organised by Halo-Rings, which is symbolism to show that God’s Guardian Angels are omnipotent in the Heaven-Realm. In Human language Halo Rings, are the equivalent of energy shells.

Planet Tzak Culture and Society.
The families within the Heaven-Realm are called Garden-tribes. They live within a certain Garden together. They were allocated to the different Gardens by matching hypothesis of their favourite animals, and 16 personalities type.
Examples are:
The Garden of Eden – About 30 to 40 members live within this Garden and they all participate in agriculture.
The Garden of Lilith – About 30 to 40 members live within this Garden and they all participate in agriculture.
And the Garden of Eve - About 30 to 40 members live within this Garden, and they all participate in agriculture.
(Plus, more to be added)
History
Planet Tzak was one of the most original planets to form after the Big Bang.

Governance and Politics
The hierarchy of Planet Tzak is monotheistic/polytheistic rule based on infradian, circadian, ultradian cycles of votes.
The Polytheistic rule is based on the ability for plural Guardian Angels earning the title of God because they do their guardian of the destitute jobs so well, compared to other Guardian Angels.
The Monotheistic rule is based on a singular guardian angel earning the title of God because he/she does their Guardian of the destitute jobs so well, compared to other Guardian Angels.
To end either rule, there needs to be an election every four years to ensure they are doing their job properly. If not, Guardian Angels can vote for an elite group of Guardian Angels to rule Planet Tzak as a polytheistic rule, or a different singular vote.

Technology Overview:
Guardian Angel Science does not yet use modern machinery. Instead, they use medieval weapons and transport. Current research is looking for how to travel through a black-hole.
Military Overview
The Guardian Angel Ministry of Defence are responsible for protecting the Heaven-Realm, controlling the Hell Realm, and providing guidance in the purgatory Realm.

The Military consist of:
The military consist of ten-thousand-infantry soldiers, who use swords, daggers, crossbows, and longbows.
And five thousand Dragon Mounts.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Enigmatik
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Enigmatik Overly-Caffienated Thembie Supreme

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Hi @Cloakedrider! Unfortunately, I'm going to have to reject the sheet entirely, for several reasons:

Firstly, the mention of a 'multiverse' and the overall population of 76 billion are in complete violation of the founding conceit of the RP, and the mention of black-hole travel violates the rule on FTL travel as well. Secondly, there is no mention of other important elements the colonies share- such as the Earth heritage or the Gateways, and the sheet insufficiently explains what the Hell and Purgatory Realm are, along with what the 'dragon mounts' are.

Additionally, many other elements of the nation are entirely unclear. The dual monotheistic/polytheistic nature is not given nearly enough explanation as these are two directly opposed belief systems (excluding henotheism,) what exactly a guardian angel is, and how a nation can simultaneously be using medieval methods of travel and warfare whilst still successfully maintaining a star-spanning empire and researching black holes.

Finally, the sheet fails to meet the typically accepted standards for 'advanced' RP on the guild. Although I could reccomend many changes to bring the Guardians in line with the rest of the RP, I would instead reccomend searching in other areas of the guild, and I wish you the best of luck in your future writing on the site.
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Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by Cloakedrider
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Cloakedrider

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Hi @Cloakedrider! Unfortunately, I'm going to have to reject the sheet entirely, for several reasons:

Firstly, the mention of a 'multiverse' and the overall population of 76 billion are in complete violation of the founding conceit of the RP, and the mention of black-hole travel violates the rule on FTL travel as well. Secondly, there is no mention of other important elements the colonies share- such as the Earth heritage or the Gateways, and the sheet insufficiently explains what the Hell and Purgatory Realm are, along with what the 'dragon mounts' are.

Additionally, many other elements of the nation are entirely unclear. The dual monotheistic/polytheistic nature is not given nearly enough explanation as these are two directly opposed belief systems (excluding henotheism,) what exactly a guardian angel is, and how a nation can simultaneously be using medieval methods of travel and warfare whilst still successfully maintaining a star-spanning empire and researching black holes.

Finally, the sheet fails to meet the typically accepted standards for 'advanced' RP on the guild. Although I could reccomend many changes to bring the Guardians in line with the rest of the RP, I would instead reccomend searching in other areas of the guild, and I wish you the best of luck in your future writing on the site.


Thank you Irredeemable, I should have read the original post more.

Although you advise checking out other roleplaying guilds, I would like to ask for you to give me one more chance of a post.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Keyguyperson
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Keyguyperson Welcome to Cyberhell

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Here's my completed NS, finally. Once I get the go-ahead to move it to the Characters tab I'll add a section for notable ships, characters, and whatnot that I'll add to as they appear.



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