Hearing Percy call his name, hearing the tears in his voice as he said it. It killed Chase. The snow crunched beneath him as he pulled himself in even tighter. He hadn't expected the offer of privacy, hadn't expected any offer if he was honest. A shadow began to cover over him, and as Chase looked back up he saw Ben, his sweet little bug standing between everyone and himself. After everything, after all that was said and done…he was still there, offering a hand to lift Chase back up, and he took it. His eyes stayed looking down, he couldn't meet anyone's eyes, not now, especially not Ben's. His right arm ran across his face, only then fully noticing how over half the sleeve had burned away as his tears wiped across his bare arm.
”As you wish.” Was all Chase could manage to croak out in response to his boyfriend before walls of ice began encasing them. Chase moved to take Ben, to remove his boyfriend from danger as well as Danni. They were claustrophobic, and while he didn't expect Excelsior to know that of Ben, they should have for Danni.
Before he could do anything, Danni took charge and told him he'd help Ben, he'd take him out. Chase nodded, trusting Danni in this instance, but if he managed to fail, if he hurt Ben in any way, it would be hard to get that back. Chase looked towards Percy and held a hand out.
”Take the lead.”Percy stared at him for a moment, before shaking his head. He was willing to talk with Chase. He wasn’t willing to be touched by him. He meant what he’d said at the dance. He never wanted to be touched by him again.
“Nous pouvons nous retrouver au toit.” He realized a second too late that had come out in French, so he tried again.
“mir kenen zikh trefn aoyfn dakh.” Yiddish. His hands were still shaking, as he handed the presents Danni had given him to Dorian to take.
“The roof,” he choked out, as he tried to make the jump - blue energy crackling around his body, but none of it concentrating, as a hundred different destinations came to mind - his childhood bedroom, their old school, their favorite park, and many more. There were too many places his mind was trying to go, so instead of moving, he remained rooted in place.
Chase's hand curled back slowly before he shoved them into his pockets. Fine. He deserved it. He was a monster after all. A villain as Danni had put it. He watched as Percy tried and failed to take himself to the roof, it would've left Chase behind. Chase simply sniffled before letting out a sigh as all of Excelsior's shadows began to merge around the two and like smoke in the wind they faded away. It was a bit of an unstable landing, having had a hard time finding a shadow atop the roof to move into. But finally the two came out and Chase took in a deep breath, rolling onto the floor from his shaky legs as he stared up at the sky.
Percy flinched as he felt something cold and alien wrap around him, as his surroundings were plunged into darkness. And for a brief moment, he was back there. Back in the Framework, shunted from game to game and at Arcade’s mercy, separated from Dorian - unaware of whether his boyfriend was dead or alive…
Others had been there with him, too. But none of them had been his friends. None of them had cared for him. He would have died alone, surrounded by people.
And just like Arcade’s manipulations, the dark gave way to light, and Percy practically flung himself out of the shadows, scrambling to increase the distance between himself and Chase. His heart was beating erratically, as his mind conjured up a thousand different ways Chase could hurt him - that he could even try to kill him. He wasn’t limited to throwing him into lockers anymore, he could wrap his throat in shadows and solidify them, choke him to death before he could even react. He could punch him until every bone in his body broke, and toss him through a pool of darkness to never be seen again. He could…
He was doing his best not to hyperventilate.
Somehow he managed.
He got up to his feet, a good ten feet away from the other boy.
And for a minute, Percy just stared.
He could understand any language (except Wampa), but words failed him. They failed him too often. He didn’t even know where to start. There was so much Chase had said, so much Percy was still processing - so much he knew he needed to say, but he didn’t know how.
Dorian was going to never let him hear the end of this if he ever found out.
He settled on something nonverbal at first.
He reached into his jeans pocket, fished out his sobriety chip - and he tossed it to Chase.
Chase felt the cold plastic hit his face before bouncing off and settling onto the ground next to him. Turning to look at it. OK? So no talking yet. Cool. Chase was beginning to calm down a bit, to pull himself together, and the more he did the more he worried about Ben. He sat up, picking up the chip and inspecting it before placing it on his thumb and flicking it up into the air, waiting for it to fall so he could catch it.
”You play poker now?” Percy shook his head again, a bit of irritation flickering through him. Why did he always fall in love with the most annoying people? The token was relatively simple, with the words [i]one day at a time[i] and
1 month recovery.
“After you beat me… that’s what I did. What I kept on doing.” His voice was small, each word sounding forced - as a thousand different languages tried to bubble to the surface.
Chase caught the coin and examined it again. He'd only ever seen them in shows or movies. It was a sobriety chip. His hand gripped tight against it, the words and symbols on the chip imprinting into the palm of his hand.
”Fuck” It made sense, to drink away the pain. He definitely couldn't look at Percy now.
”I didn't – I should've – Fuck.”“I didn’t understand why you did it,” he continued, looking not at Chase but at the festival down below. It was easier to talk to the wind, easier to force the words to stay in English. Easier to pretend this was some theoretical exercise, some journal entry a doctor was asking him to complete.
“I thought you were brave and charming, as honorable as the knights you adored. So if…” his voice cracked, tears threatening to spill once more,
“if you decided I was so disgusting that I needed to be beaten, then it must have been true. I must be some… some wicked, vile monster. Something unlovable that doesn’t even deserve a friend. And I… I couldn’t sit with it. Couldn’t handle that feeling. I don’t remember how much I drank that first time. I remember my mothers finding me, and asking what had happened, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell them that Or- that you hated me and I had only myself to blame, that my only friend in the world had decided I was a dragon that needed to be slain.””No, Percival – you were never the monster. I was. I thought – when you left me alone to that program, I panicked. I thought – I'd lost you, I thought I'd taken too long to respond and my fear of what that response would have happen…it was like a self fulfilling prophecy. The more I feared losing you, the more I lost you. I couldn't bear it, it all bubbled inside me, and I just saw – it was like I'd blacked out. All I knew…all I could think of – and I don't know why. I knew what it was like to be in your position yet I still did it.” Chase stared at Percy's back, then past him.
”I never wanted to hurt you, to cause you to drink…I don't know why I did…why i thought – well I wasn’t thinking.”“I didn’t leave the program,” he snapped. He hadn’t meant to put venom behind his words. But it slipped out anyway.
“They dismissed me. I don’t - I don’t know why. I was going to tell you when you… when you….” he swallowed thickly, as his mind forced him back to that day - to the genuine joy he’d felt as he saw Chase coming his way down the empty hallway, unaware that it was the last time he’d be happy to see his best friend in his life.
He sank down to the ground, and wrapped his arms around his knees, pulling them into his chest.
“I can’t - I can’t even let people touch me anymore without feeling like I’m being set on fire. I’m not - I’m not the Percival you used to know. I’m aggressive and distrustful, you were at the contest, you saw the way I acted towards Wiccan. I tried to kill a teacher during my first week of school with an axe. I don’t see the best in people, I only see the worst. I’m judgmental and abrasive. I drank - I drink instead of letting others help me. I lie. When I told you the person you knew was gone, I meant it.”Chase's stomach churned. He hated this. Seeing the consequences was far worse than anything he could imagine. After everything that had happened, after everything he'd done to start a new life, he didn't think the past would catch up to him like this. He was quiet, listening to Percy as he spoke. Swallowing hard as he shut his eyes tight.
”Please don't say that. I know he has to be somewhere inside. I – I saw the way you laughed, you danced, back at the party. Percival isnt dead, but I did bury him and I – I cannot stress how much I'm sorry for doing that” Tears began to well up again as the words became harder to speak.
”I'm glad you got out of that program. Knowing now what I know…it would've broken me more had you stayed.” Chase sniffled, wiping it off on his sleeve. His eyes with a distant far off look as he thought back to the things that happened within GATES.
Percy was silent for a moment, as he pulled out his phone and shot off a quick text in the Excelsior group chat - not his normal prose, no salutation or sign off, just a short
I am okay. He then slid the phone back away, as a thousand thoughts were rattling in his head. It would have been easy to agree with Chase here - to tell him that he had been the one responsible for everything that he’d become, that Chase was Frankenstein, faced with regret as he beheld his own monster.
But Chase hadn’t forced him to drink. He hadn’t forced him to rage and scream at the first people he met when he came to Avengers Academy. He hadn’t forced him to only see the worst in others and rarely ever the good.
There were some behaviors he had learned from this trauma. And there were some he had chosen himself.
“You didn’t bury Percival. I did.” He averted his gaze down to the ground, counting each breath that he took, every inhale and every exhale.
“What happened to Orion?” he then asked quietly.
“After the school year ended.”There was a hitch in Chase's breath. Hearing an old name he long thought abandoned. His voice was low, gravely, as he spoke. Picking up bits of pebbles from the ground and stacking them.
”He uh…he went on to have lapses in memory. The program said it was normal, intended. It wasn't long after his knight vanished that Orions star was snuffed out in its entirety. Betrayed by his kin, taken away to an institution and ran through several experiments just to see what they could find. That was how he gained his gifts, the inability to sleep and the power to control darkness. Forced to spend his ever waking days in torment. He learned recently there are more physical scars associated with this too, ones he'd never have been able to see…” There was silence, the sound of stone in stone as he placed another pebble atop another.
”If you truly buried Percival, then…maybe we can find that shovel together and help dig him out. I've heard the grave bells from beneath, I know he lives. Now he just needs to shine.”Percy looked away from the ground, and looked at Chase for the first time in this conversation - really looked at him. The pallid tone of his skin, the dark circles under his eyes, all the health and vibrancy sapped out of him, leaving behind just a revenant, a ghost possessing its own corpse. He knew there was no love between Chase and his family. There was a reason he had spent almost every hour he could over at Percy’s place, a reason why Chase had always been invited to go on his family’s vacations - they were never extravagant, money a little tighter with a bonus son around, but his mothers had never complained.
But his blood boiled at the thought of what Chase’s parents had allowed to be done to him. Experimentation in the pursuit of powers was deadly. Percy’s own mother had nearly died as a result of SHIELD science experiments, she had been a volunteer, and he still saw the way she shook when around doctors, the way she pushed off medical appointments until it was absolutely necessary.
“How did Orion escape?” He didn’t know if he trusted Chase. He didn’t know if he could ever trust him again. Words were one thing - actions another. He looked down at the ground again. What was he willing to trust Chase with? How could he allow him to help? What shovel could he give him that he wouldn’t be afraid would be used to bury him even deeper?
“… We can start with letters. You can write to me, and I will write back. I never blocked your number. They can be sent as texts or you can use physical paper. You cannot ever touch me. I will tell you when we can try what Danni does, using a barrier.”
“And… you can meet my boyfriend. We can have dinner. You can bring yours.”Chase closed his hands tight. His nails digging into the palms of his hands as his legs bounced. He could feel a trickle of blood from the pressure.
”His gifts came in…it was an explosive awakening and by the end of it all…every scientist responsible no longer lived. The gifts consumed him, it allowed for him to leave, to escape, but it also drenched him in blood he could never wash away.” His grip lessened slightly, the red stain falling onto a stone.
”Letters. I know you prefer them and you deserve something physical. Something tangible. You deserve someone who puts thought and time into it more so than a text ever could. I'll…try not to touch you. It'll be hard, but please if I do know it's reflexive ok? I don't…want to fuck this up again.” Chase didn't bother addressing the idea of a double date.
“Good.” Not to the gifts consuming Chase, not to him being drenched in blood, but for him having gotten his vengeance. Percy was still coming around to the idea of second chances. It was easier to stomach them for children. But for scientists, experimenting on people against their will? Too many of Percy’s ancestors had suffered that fate. Never again. There would be no more. If Chase had not already ended the threat, Percy would have offered to help. Prison and justice, they weren’t enough. It was better to make sure.
“Even Odysseus drenched himself in blood, when he killed the suitors. All the best heroes have darkness in them.”He nodded a bit at Chase’s request.
“I can’t promise I’ll remember that when it happens - but once I’ve calmed down, I will try to. It’s…” he frowned,
“it’s why I had a breakdown after you hugged me. Why I threw all of the food and dishes at you.””Here I thought your boyfriend really hated me. Isn't your thing teleporting?” Chase paused.
”There's more blood beyond that…I didn't stop at the scientists. I don't think I could've stopped. It was like a wave that carried me, moved me, it felt almost like a dream, though that may have been the sedatives.” Another beat of silence as he tried to find the words.
”I'm adopted now…I – my last fam…I can’t even call them that, not with everything they did. You and your mothers were more family to me than my own blood, and in that rage…in that darkenss…I orphaned myself. I found myself at home, and with my parents slaughtered, and I was at the center of it all…”Percy was still.
He’d already had his suspicions of what Chase was capable of. And here they were, confirmed. It was easy to justify killing faceless individuals - easy to dismiss it.
But it did not frighten him hearing that Chase had killed his parents, even as Percy could hold their faces in his mind’s eye.
“Death to abusers,” he finally said.
“Have you killed since?”It didn’t feel like the appropriate time to explain the entanglement, but Chase had asked - and had evidently learned enough to know Percy’s innate powers.
“My boyfriend and I… we had sex and became entangled on a quantum level. A small amount of me right now is actually him - and a small amount of him is me. I haven’t noticed any differences beyond being able to borrow his powers but… I suppose on a very real level, I can never be the boy you knew again. I’m not all Percy anymore.””No I haven–” Chase’s thoughts cut off as what Percy had explained to him clicked.
”Oh fuck. Do I need to worry about that? Is a condom enough? Ooooo fuck fuck fuck!” He panicked, wondering if he'd accidentally done something to Ben.
Percy’s face turned bright red. He didn’t need to know that Chase was fucking people - especially not after Danni had pointed out how similar Percy was to Chase’s boyfriend. It wasn’t a jealousy issue, his crush on Chase had ended a long time ago - around the second or third beating. Hypocritically, he just didn’t need to have that information.
“Erm, no, it’s… It’s a unique thing that happens when someone with astral powers that veer into possession and someone who warps space-time both um… er… uncontrollably surge at the same time. Repeatedly. He was partially in me - as in powers wise, not… and uh… I kept jumping us… so our atoms got… got a little mixed up…”Chase laughed. He hadn't expected to, and it burst out so suddenly he was barely able to slap his mouth shut with his hands.
”Sorry sorry. Man I did not realize you had that dog in you! That's some kinky shit. But glad to know that this isn't something I'll need to worry about.”Percy bit his lip, debating for a moment. Chase had been the first person he wanted to tell when he had gotten together with Dorian.
“I…erm…he has this book…and…” He tugged on the collar of his hoodie and shirt, moving them so that way Chase could his upper chest - a strategically chosen location to avoid being seen by Percy’s moms - that was covered in hickeys, all in various stages of healing.
Chase whistled.
”Damn, you should see Benny Boi. You'd think hes a leopard with how many spots I gave him. So uh, what's this book?” Chase scooted a little closer but still kept his distance.
”Not that I think Benny or I are really ready for that sort of thing. Its all kinda…new. To both of us.”Percy scooted a little further away to restore the distance between them.
“The mutant kama sutra,” he mumbled.
“The uh, the warnings come after the spell.”Chase's smile sank as he watched Percy move away again.
”Oh uh, before we go…here. I got you a birthday present. Thought you may like it.” He pulled out a card from his backpack, a sexy alternative art card of G'raha Tia from Magic, in a clear sleeve and nestled into a top loader, it is signed by Johnathan Bailey.
”Signatures authentic.” “You… got me a birthday present?” he asked, stunned.
“Why?””Never know what the future has in store anymore so…figured I may as well incase you know…you actually gave me a chance again.”“…Raha is still my favorite…” he offered quietly.
“There’s a costume dance in the fall. Maybe you… want to be Emet-Selch? The group did She-Ra last year and I… I didn’t do it, because I was afraid I’d be… I’d be picked on if I did. But maybe next year… we could do Final Fantasy. Dorian could be the Warrior of Light.””I'd make a damn good Emet.” Chase chuckled.
”Maybe Mountain Girl could be Wuk Lamat, Sabine could be Minfilia, I'm sure the rest can fit others too.” Chase fiddled with a rock, halfway making eye contact with Percy. It all felt so…fresh…awkward…like trying to make a new friend.
Percy kept on dodging making eye contact with Chase - not necessarily because it was him, but because it was eye contact. He hated it. It felt too intense, too vulnerable - too much like being put under a spotlight.
“Emet became good in the end,” he reminded him.
“Even after doing horrible things… it suits you.”He was quiet for another moment.
“I think I’ve said all I had to say. I imagine you want to go back to your boyfriend. He seemed upset.””Dude, this suuuuucks. This would be a great time for a hug. Could we settle for a fist bump maybe? No?” Chase looked off towards the Festival again.
”I don't know what that guy was thinking making ice walls. Danni's claustrophobic and so is Benny Boi. I gotta make sure they're ok.”Percy shook his head. Maybe one day he would be ready for physical touch from Chase. But not today.
“April? I don’t know. She might be having another episode.” She’d come back from break looking like a completely different person, and he knew from Dorian that their parents had grounded her the entire time. It surprised him though to learn that Danni was claustrophobic. It was strange for his sister to have done that, then. Ben he figured there was little chance she’d known.
Chase sighed.
”Need help down or you got it?” A shadow crept up, opening like a doorway as the edges undulated.
“No, thank you. It’s a bit too familiar to how someone tried to kill me last semester.””What the fuck man. We're gonna talk about that later.” And without allowing Percy to protest, Chase stepped into the shadows and vanished.
