[IC] [Leave the hurt behind] Raijinslayer x Earlymorninstar [18+]

[earlymorninstar]

Clara had not exactly known what had compelled her to entertain the man before her. She was used to simply finding the easiest and perhaps the most attractive target, pulling the strings whichever way she so desired once she had him ensnared, and then she would ultimately get what she wanted and dispose of him come morning. If anyone should try to switch the roles on her, well, she wasn't used to giving up that control just yet, and when it eventually would happen, there would have to be a hell of a good reason for it. Yet there she was, suddenly in the hold of some man who had seemingly sought her out instead of the other way around. Something about it did intrigue her enough to pull her in, curious if, perhaps, he was all he seemed to present himself as. He knew how to play the game, she would give that to him at least, but she wasn't so sure if he could execute the moves…

Only momentarily had her thoughts shifted back to Jaden, so terribly frustrated and angry that her night had turned into what it had. She was used to being the one to leave him for whatever reason, not the other way around. Hell, she even entertained the thought of lingering by his side at least for a moment that night, but the first chance there was he had disappeared and hadn't even bothered to check in. It was unlike him, she knew, but it still didn't help her forgive him either. It was the one thing that had gotten under her skin, evoked such anger that was deep within her only due to the fact that it reminded her that she was so easily replaced – just as she had been tossed aside like a used piece of paper on the beach that night so many centuries ago. Ever since then she thirsted for the attention, thrived once she had gotten it, and was only angered when she was denied it – needing to live in constant reassurances just to get her through the evening.

Where Jaden had left her, she had angrily thrown herself into the arms of a stranger, one that seemed to lure her in with each move and each touch that danced across her body. It was both alarming and alluring all in the same – easy to get lost in the motions that their bodies continued to play out; eager to forget the anger and cause that continued to surge within her. Had it been that frustration that led her to this – that made it so terribly easy to give herself over? Or perhaps it was the liquor that continued to run through her, dulling her inhibitions to a point of wanting to not care any further? All she was entirely aware of as the time slipped on was how his hands had roamed her body freely, his touch sending electricity through her skin, and the inevitable heat that she felt building within her slowly enough which she knew full well would need to be released.

The combination of the pulsating music, his touch, the liquor in her system was enough to make her throw caution to the wind, but then again, she'd never been that easy.

Her back had been against him at first, her ass pressed against him as her body rocked and swayed with his before she had turned. Once more the distance was lost between them as Clara pulled herself close, her body flush to his as her arms snaked around his neck. Again, that quick moment of familiarity had danced across her senses, but it had been lost just as quickly as it came. "Who are you, anyway?" Ah, there had been no introductions, only a primal need that had shot through Clara before she could even deny it. "Because, you seem like a man who knows exactly what he wants… and knows exactly how to get it…"

[Raijinslayer]

"I'm simply a man who chases what interests him, not to different from yourself from what I can gather. " Asmodeus said in soft words as he leaned in closer, wondering if Clara had fallen under his influence yet. It seemed that she could have, but then she might just be on the tipping point. [color=Gold][/i]I don't want to break her though, so I think a little more won't hurt. She can handle it, I'm more than sure.[/i][/color]

With his plan of action now set, the demon would close the short distance between them in an instant. A an almost burning surge of heat would pass through Clara as their lips would meet, the final bit of his magic working its way into her soul, subduing her thoughts and instincts, making her his. Making her want to be his. If she accepted, he would deepen the kiss, allowing more of his power to flow into her, though this would simply to spread pleasure and lust into her. His hands would slip down to clutch at her shapely bottom, and he felt a slight burning within himself as well. He wanted this woman, wanted to taste her, to make her scream. But he reeled in his desires for now, knowing it was too early to attack her, even if the idea of doing so on the dance floor did excite him greatly.

But no, he instead he would pull her in closer, allowing some of his desire to enter the kiss, giving it a more passionate intensity, letting her know how much he hungered for her right now.

[earlymorninstar]

No, Clara had not entirely fallen under his influences just yet, part of her skeptical about handing the reigns over so easily while the other part of her was eager to give in and let this man have full control. It wasn't something she was used to -- giving control over her so quickly, but hell, it was far more exciting than she had thought it would be. Usually she was calculated, knowing exactly what button to push and when to hit it to make them melt - to make them want her. Now, those precise thoughts and plans had faded from her mind before she could even muster them, replaced with a new submissiveness that made her ache with want.

He had been right with his assumptions and she had parted her lips in a retort yet suddenly found them quite occupied. Suddenly that heat within her had built, and it had done so rather quickly. There were no thoughts of protest, hardly any coherent thought to be found as he had closed the small distance between them and she found that, perhaps, submission wasn't so terrible after all. It most certainly couldn't have been, especially when she felt his hands trail lower, firmly grabbing her, urging her to give in.

Her body was pressed flush against his own as she found herself kissing him back. Her hands had found their way in his hair, fingertips scratching against his scalp at the sudden attack; the urge and need swelling within her in an almost unbearable want. All thought of Jaden had dissipated, most of her apprehension tossed to the air. Maybe for this one night, she could give in.

As he kissed her, her tongue had danced with his own for a long moment, needing to taste him; needing to feel him against her. No, Clara could hardly care that they were still on the dance floor - none of that suddenly mattered as she nipped at his bottom lip, teeth grazing flesh in a silent taunt -- Fuck... it was almost maddening how she suddenly desired him so.

[Raijinslayer]

Jaden Locke: Pandora's box, The Next Day

Sweat, Sex, and Alcohol.

These were the scents that greeted Jaden as he roused himself from slumber, feeling a strange mix of exhaustion and relief settled into every fiber of his being. He attempted to push himself up off the hard ground, wondering why his bed felt so hard and sticky, but he found his arms were being restricted. When he turned to look at his trapped appendages, his drowsiness was instantly dispelled as he stared dumbstruck at the scene before him. Wrapped around his arm was a woman, completely naked from head to toe, her dark grey skin still slick and shining with sweat, raven black hair spilling over a perfect hourglass figure. Beyond her, a number of men and women lay on top of one another in piles of naked flesh, the stinking smell of sex hanging over them all.

Jaden noticed with silent apprehension that none of the male bodies were moving and every woman in the club skin had changed to that same dark grey. Well, all except for one, for as he began to feel his heart pound in hsi chest, afraid that he'd done it again, he felt a slight shifting from his left side now. Holding on to his torso was Clara, as naked as all the others, but looking like herself. A shuddering sigh worked it's way out of Jaden, glad that she had been spared the fate of turning. However, the relief as was short-lived, the scene playing out before him being all too familiar. Even now, flashes of memory were coming to him, though whether they were from last night or the night centuries upon centuries prior, he couldn't tell.

_{. . . .Master}

A collective whispered in his head, dozens of breathy voices filled with a lust for life at it's most primal. he could see them beginning to stir now, eyelids parting to show the bloodied irises underneath. Before they could full awaken, Jaden freed his arm while the one succubi's grip was loosened and made a quick series of gestures with his hand, drawing black arcane sigils in the air. Once he'd finished, a voice would speak in a language of whispered secrets and dark nights, calling the succubi away from this realm. And so they were banished, each demonized woman's form turning into black mist that would be absorbed into his own form, the essence that they collected filling him with strength, energy, disgust, and more guilt than one could possibly imagine. The succubi that had been entangled around his arm was one of the last to be absorbed, and thus, was able to wake up completely before the procedure could be finished. Looking up at her master, the demon would smile a sweet, almost innocent smile as she leaned in to kiss him. He didn't kiss back, unable to stop thinking about how young she looked.

How old could she have been? 18? 19? 21? Hell, she could've even have been a minor that was snuck in. No matter what she had been before, the hopes and dreams that she had held, it was all gone now. The girl was long dead, killed and depraved of proper rest because he had lost control of his charge. he'd let himself grow complacent, after all these years. He was weak and spineless, and because of that, all of these people had died, in one form or another, leaving not but corpses and demons in their wake.

The succubi pulled away from the kiss looking distraught, wondering what she had done to offend her master. Before she could speak, however, her body would fade away into a black smoke, leaving Jaden alone in this foul smelling pit of depravity. It was a that moment that he could no longer hold it in. Standing up from the floor, he'd make his way over to the nearest trashcan he could find and empty his guts into it. The sounds of his retching echoed off the walls in a way that made it sound much worse than it actually was. He'd be like this for sometime, but when had finally thrown-up everything that had been in his stomach and more, he didn't rise up. No, he fell to his knees, naked and pathetic, and began to cry. Thick tears would flow down his face as he bent over, head between his hands, and let out a series of pathetic, choked sobs. He had done this. He had let lose the demon upon these poor people, he had killed them, and their life force now ran through his veins. Stolen life that would sate the demon for years, but the cost for this blessing, for this silver-lining, was just too high.

[earlymorninstar]

It had probably been the first time in centuries that Clara hadn't awoken from one of her nightmares early in the morning. She couldn't remember a time that her body had shut down in such a way, unwilling to wake entirely even as she had felt the shift beneath her. Her lips had curled into a frown at the disturbance, her arms wrapped carefully around whomever it was beneath her; she wasn't entirely sure. All she knew in that moment was that she had felt entirely exhausted, drained of any energy to move, and hungry with the need to feed whenever she could muster the strength to rise. The night before had been a blur. She had remembered being so terribly angry at Jaden. She had been intent on finding someone - anyone to distract her and who she found, well -- just the thought of what she could recall the night before had her shifting in recollection.

When she had felt the body move from her hold, her frown had deepened, and she slowly was becoming aware of where she was. Apparently, Clara had never quite made it home the night before, feeling the cold hard ground now beneath her. She had forced her eyes open reluctantly as she had heard a bit of commotion now across the room, but she had not fully registered the scene just yet.

Clara had given a soft groan as she pushed herself to sit up on the floor, her body aching in protest as she moved. She brushed her tousled hair from her face before she could focus on her surroundings first, realizing very quickly that the maddening scene around her the night before had changed into something much darker as she eyed the bodies with hesitation. Why she had been spared was beyond her - unsure what had happened whilst she was lost in the wild bit of passion that had been inflicted upon her. None of it made sense - never before had she lost control the way shehhad the night before. Never before had she ever experienced something as erotic either...

Her gaze cautiously trailed the bodies for a moment longer, unnerved and uncertain as she had tried to piece the rest of her night together, but then her gaze fell on Jaden and for a split moment she had been relieved until she realized that he was naked -- just as her apparently and she had reached to grab the closest table cloth to cover herself at least in front of him (if only she had known how silly that notion was) before she reluctantly pushed herself from the ground. Her body ached from the abuse it took, and she needed a shower desperately - she could feel the dried fluids against her skin; could smell the sex upon herself, but she pushed it aside as she covered herself and cautiously approached Jaden. "What the fuck happened?" She couldn't understand why he was sobbing nor could she put the pieces together just yet. The scene around her was hard to grasp, eyeing the bodies around them only for a moment. She seemed disoriented, leaning against the railing to support herself. It was only her and Jaden left, no sign of the one who had entirely posessed her the night before. "I just -- I don't ... How the fuck did this happen?"

[Raijinslayer]

_{"It's my fault. . .}

Jaden's voice was barely audible as he rose from the ground, his blue eys hazy and out of focus as he walked away from the sick filled trash can to one of the tables. Strangely enough, a bottle of wine was still on this one, undamaged and even uncorked. Grabbing it by the neck, the distraught man turned with a sudden swiftness and smash the bottle against the rail. Glass and wine, red as blood, would spill across the floor, leaving him with the sharp shattered remains. He'd stare at it for a moment, contemplating dark thoughts over and over in his mind, but in the end he just throw it angrily at a wall. It would be a futile gesture, be it through that or any other method. The demon's curse would keep him up, keep his heart beating for as long as he held it within his being.

Another gout of firey rage would flow through Jaden as he leaned against the railing, the metal letting out a pained groan as it was bent and crushed in his hands, almost like it was made from paper-mache.

"I should've known better then to come here, should've known that this kind of place would draw him out. But no, I felt I had it handled, I thought that he'd been sated the night before. I thought that I could finally, after years and years, just relax. And now, I've killed them. I've killed them all with my foolishness, my weakness." A shuddering laugh, empty and hollow, clawed it's way out of Jaden, first in small chuckling fits, but soon exploding in a full blown laugh. It was a hateful laugh, one that cursed everything that had happened in one's life that brought them to it. Taking a seat at one of the boothes, his laugh would soon die off as he looked over the carnage, even spotting James across the way, his pale flesh looking sick and infected under the pulsating lights from above.

It was now that Jaden would seem to acknowledge Clara, his cerulean eyes staring right through her, almost as if he was stripping her down to her soul. It was a look that held hunger, but that hunger was not Jaden's, no, it was too intense for the gentle man. It was the look of a demon, one she had gotten to know quite intimately last night.

"You ask me how this happened? Well I'll tell you exactly how it happened. I, in my weakness, lost control of that which makes me immortal. I lost control of a powerful demon lord of Lust and carnal sin, and he saw fit to feast himself on the essence of every soul here, turning the women into succubi who turned the men into the drained cadavers you see sprawled about. What happened is that I became a monster, worse than anything you could've imagined, because I wanted to have a little fun."

[earlymorninstar]

Clara was confused, wildly so...Trying to muster recollections of the night before, trying to understand that despite the bodies that lie around thsm, it was only she and Jaden that had remained. She was terribly exhausted, unwilling to think too deeply but unable to realize just what was before her as she tried to recall - the tangle of bodies; the exhilaration and lust all that she could focus on when she tried to figure it out for herself. Where Haden had gone that night had been beyond her -- his own abandonment had been the reason that she sought the attention of another l - one who knew exactly how to manipulate her body and make her beg.

Her thoughts were silenced as she was startled by the sounds of breaking glass, and she stared at the aftermath, unable to realize just why he had been so angry. If anything, he should have been relieved, they been the only two spared from whatever the hell had unleashed that night before.

His anger was foreign to her -- Clara had seen Haden angry before, had been the reason more than once that he had grown agitated but this, this was entirely different. This was an anger and frustration that seemed to longer in his very soul... And as he had broken out in laughter she had wondered if he had lost his damn mind. As he continued, she worried for his sanity, his words making little sense to her.

Clara clutched the fabric of the table cloth to her chest amidst his raving, but when he had finally looked at her, she had seen it- the quick familiarity of the night before - the look that had nearly devoured her whole. His words that followed thereafter had worry settle deep within her stomach, flipping and settling in a way that made her feel not only terribly vulnerable, but also angry. It was unfathomable as he spoke in his anger, to think Jaden had been capable of more than just an argument here or there, was impossible. He had always been complacent, eager to please and easy to walk over, despite the feelings of inevitable guilt once in a while that she had.

What he was trying to tell her was that he had housed some sexual demon. All of this time she couldn't have had a clue, his secret so massive and so well hidden that she didn't want to believe him. But the anger in his words, the guilt and frustration in his voice had her shaken.

They were the only two left standing in that shell of a club.. And there was a dann good reason as to why.

Regardless of the pit that found its way in her stomach over the fact that she had submitted with such wreckless abandon to someone who was a literal part of Jaden, she couldn't believe it - not as she suddenly closed the distance between them with a snarl, her gaze searching his for the lie that she hoped would be there as her fingers dug into the booth by his shoulders. "You fucking expect me to believe that?" Yet she was shaken in a way that gave her away. "You're telling me you've been able to hide the fact that you have a fucking demon within you and because you wanted to enjoy yourself, this happens?!" And it just so happened that that very demon had consumed her, made her his in ways that she hadn't thought possible. "Bullshit!"

[Raijinslayer]

"Whether you believe me or not, Clara, that is the reality that you will have to accept. Jaden's eyes were like daggers stabbing into her as he stood up, his lean frame carrying with it an imposing nature to it. His words were sharp in tone, the gentle meekness that she was used to dashed against the rocks as he attempted to push her aside. He didn't toss her to the floor, but there was force behind the action, a force that demanded respect and compliance. Walking through the mess, Aiden's eyes seemed to glow as he stared down at the nude heaps of flesh before him. Taking a breath and steeling his heart, Jaden would call upon the dark power within him, his eyes becoming a bloody crimson as he waved a hand across his field of vision.

In an instant, all of the bodies, as well as the sticky mess of drying fluids that had coated everything, would disperse into wisps of shadow, floating up into the air until they eventually vanished. With that out of the way, Jaden would focus his energies once again, causing both himself and Clara to become engulfed in a malestrom of shadow and darkness. After a few moments, these two would disperse and fade away, revealing the two of them in the exact clothes they'd been wearing the night before, perfectly remade to the very last detail.

"And with that, we need to leave. Now, before someone comes around. If you want more answers, or just to yell at me some more, than it can be done at the estate, but now? Now you need to stay quiet and do what I say. Understood.

[earlymorninstar]

Clara had been anticipating the usual skirting around her anger when she had snapped at Jaden; she hadn’t quite been ready for his response. The way he dismissed her; the way he had been so very cold and cast her aside and out of his way. Part of her was aggravated, wanting to get her anger out as she shouted her disbelief at him, but he had not taken the bait. No, he had done quite the opposite as he answered her with such a tone that made her have to believe, and she had been so very caught off guard the moment he had pushed past her - just rough enough to make her move. Her mind was reeling as she tried to grasp the reality of the situation at hand, flashes of the night before still running through her mind as she tried to put together each part carefully. She had been so terribly angry with Jaden for leaving her, especially when he had been the one to ask her to go with him in the first place that she was determined to find a distraction for her anger - her usual attempt at numbing something that she did not quite want to feel. The alcohol hadn’t done the trick but he did… He had not only made her forget about Jaden, but he had made her forget about nearly everything that could have hurt her; anything that could have made her feel the way she had for all of those centuries in favor for both pain and pleasure that she craved altogether.

To think that he and Jaden were one in the same left her stomach turning; thoughts and emotions running through her that she couldn’t quite grasp or explain.

She was in denial even then, surprised by how hardened Jaden had suddenly become, but any denial had easily melted away as she watched him move further away from her in an attempt to rid the building of the massacre that had been created. She had seen the darkness flowing from him, seen those wisps that now she couldn’t very well forget. She’d remembered now, how they curled about her body, eliciting even more stimulation, more pleasure to where she almost couldn’t bare it.

Clara had slowly sunk to sit at the end of the booth as she watched him, the bodies and the mess disappearing before her very eyes; the clothes that had been long forgotten and cast aside now covering her as if the night before hadn’t exactly happened. The ache and exhaustion that she felt in her very core had not, however, and the urge to get back home and in the shower and far away from Jaden had suddenly become very strong. Who exactly was the man before her-- Clara wasn’t so sure. She had been used to the quiet Jaden who occasionally bickered with her; who dealt with her deep-rooted anger and depression regardless of how she had lashed out at him. This Jaden, the one who had now turned his attention back to her had seemed very different. Was it betrayal that she had felt? She didn’t know -- He’d kept a secret this large from her so long and for her to find out the way she had - for her to be ravaged in such a way by that very secret, she wasn’t sure how she had felt in that moment.

She had stared at him as he spoke to her, that commanding tone lingering on his lips in a way that made her hesitate. She’d wanted to lash out; fight and argue every bit of it, but no longer had she held that energy and something within her had simply submitted to his orders. There was no arguing that he was one in the same, not after the display that he had so openly shared before her, but how she was going to deal with the fact that she very well remembered what had happened the night before, despite the massacre, despite the bodies that have been left behind, was beyond her. Clara had made a mistake the previous night - had given herself over in favor of spite, much like she had before with her sire. It was all too familiar and it shook her in a way she couldn’t explain.

So as Clara watched him and he practically ordered her to listen to him and stay quiet, she had nodded in that same submission despite herself ; despite the disconnect in her gaze as she came to a stand. She would do what he wanted, but she couldn’t very well make the same promises when they’d gotten back to the estate.

[Raijinslayer]

Jaden watched Clara out of the corner of his eye, noting how not even a word was put up in response. Seeing her be so submissive before him was saddening, he was so used to her speaking out against everything. And yet now, he could almost feel her desire to get away from him, could see it through the way she walked, how she held herself, how she looked at him as if he was a stranger, or worse, a monster. He couldn't blame her for these feelings, she had been manipulated into such an intense a lurid affair only to wake up to piles of corpses and the man she knew as her mentor claiming responsibility for everything that happened. If he were in her shoes, she'd be leery of being near such a person as well, but he still felt some form of hurt deep inside.

More than anything, however, he felt that he had failed his charge. It had been his duty for centuries to watch over her, protect her, and do his best to guide her, but somewhere along the line, he'd grown complacent. He'd simply gotten used to life in control, had forgotten what exactly he had become all those years ago. And she had almost paid the price for his failure . . . just like Diane had, becoming nothing but a lust-filled shell of who they used to be. The thought nearly caused Jaden to break down again, but he held himself together, leading his charge out of the debauched tomb and to the car. However, as Jaden took the wheel, a familiar stubbornness would set itself on his features, placing his hands at the proper positions upon the steering wheel.

"Nice and easy, Jaden . . . nice and easy."

---

Unfortunately for Jaden and Clara, feeding the former's inner demon did little to improve his driving ability, and his current emotional state actually made him an even worse driver than before. The front of the car was covered in a number of dents and debris from the many things that had collide with it, and Jaden was currently laying his head against the wheel, trying not to think about the dog he'd tried to avoid. The operative word being 'tried'.

"Well then, this day is just getting better and better. Jaden pinched the bridge of his nose as he got out of the car, offering to help Clara as well if she wished to accept. Once inside, he'd wave off any of the serving staff and simply go to his study, where he'd wait for Clara to come and demand answers, as he was sure she'd come to do. He half-expected her to leave him as soon as possible, and while that would probably hurt him deeply, he couldn't very well force her to stay in the same house s the man who violated her, no matter how out of his control the situation had been. It was all his fault, and he'd accept the consequences of his actions.

[earlymorninstar]

There was a swirl of emotion coursing through her that had been so terribly overwhelming that the only thing Clara could hold onto was the mere submission to what Jaden had wanted. The sooner she listened to him, the sooner she could get far away from the depths of that club, and the sooner she could be alone to deal with the questions and frustration that was swimming throughout her thoughts. She didn't want to be near Jaden, at least not then. She couldn't quite understand it, or how everything had entirely happened, but she knew she was partly to blame. She had willingly fell into temptation through her own anger, having felt slighted that he had asked her to attend the club with him, and at the first chance he had, he had left her by herself. Perhaps she was sensitive when it came to those things; no matter how hardened she had become over the years, the thought of being left alone and cast aside for something better had eaten at her and had pushed her directly into someone else's arms – well, someone else who just so happened to be the same person. That thought had troubled her the most.

Everything that had happened the night before: the most intimate and erotic night in her entire life had turned into more of a nightmare more than anything else. To wake up in the middle of that club, in the middle of all of those bodies and then to have Jaden burst out that it was all him – that the person she had recklessly given herself over to the night before was him, she almost felt sick to her stomach. How she could have never figured out such a secret throughout the centuries that she'd been with him had been beyond her. How he could have lied to her in such a way had made her feel unsettled. The man she had been living with all of the time; the one who had taken her in, who was supposed to keep her safe, had been a different person altogether – one who had taken advantage of her and now knew her in the most intimate of ways without her even meaning for him to.

She was silent as she followed him to the car, and even in her seat she had pressed herself the farthest away, trying to keep her focus out the window or even shut her eyes when she could. His wild driving had driven her close to the edge; close to her breaking point where she was so terribly close to snapping that she didn't know just what she would do if she couldn't get out of that car soon enough. She tried to ignore it all, tried to block out the incessant things he would drive into – and even the poor dog that hadn't even been spared in his wake.

She felt sick and she wanted a shower. She needed to think; she needed to breathe.

As soon as they arrived back at the estate, Jaden had opened her door but she immediately avoided his touch – she didn't want to feel it; didn't want to feel his skin against hers, at least not in that moment. She was silent even as she moved past him and into the house, immediately bounding her way up to her own room with a slam of the door behind her. Part of her wanted to drink; wanted to find a way to instantly numb it all but then again, that was what had gotten them into this mess, hadn't it?

With the frown still on her lips, Clara had made her way to her bathroom where she ran the hottest water that shower could muster before she shoved off her dress and stepped in, letting the hot water sting her skin as she closed her eyes tight, wanting to wash away every bit of the night before. She had been in there for a long time, scrubbing furiously at her skin until it nearly felt raw, pink with abuse both from her scrubbing and the hot water that continued to rain down upon her. It was all too close to what had happened before – how she had given herself over in the heat of the moment and had woken up to the absence of the one person she ignorantly thought she could trust, abandoned and cast aside like a piece of trash. This time, it somehow hurt even more than that – the only person she had let close to her had lied to her, let loose whatever the hell side of him that was, and had entirely consumed her and spit her out. She felt used.

Yet, amidst all of her confusion, feelings of betrayal, feelings of disappointment and her broken trust – anger bubbled within her.

Once the water had been turned off and she was able to scrub off everything that could have clung to her body, she stepped slowly out of the shower and wrapped herself up. She dried herself off quickly enough, throwing a large t-shirt over her head, slipping on a pair of shorts beneath that before she had aggressively brushed through her long hair, little waves popping through in the brushes wake. She'd left it down, tossing the brush onto her counter carelessly before she turned out of her room and headed back downstairs to where she knew he would be.

"…What the fuck Jaden?" They were the first words to fall from her lips as soon as she had laid eyes upon him. Her hands had curled into tight fists at her sides, her bright gaze narrowed upon him. "You were supposed to be the one I could trust. You were never supposed to hurt me…" Her words came out fast, almost as if she wasn't entirely thinking them through. Or perhaps they were all of her collected thoughts in the shower, bursting forth in a collective word-vomit, hoping that she wouldn't forget a single thought. "I know I'm already fucked up, Jaden – but now you've just added a whole new level to it…" Clara had kept the distance between them, knowing full well her anger could bubble out of control; she wanted to kick and scream and beat the hell out of him to make him feel just what she was feeling, but she kept herself grounded. "If you hadn't fucking run off the first moment you could, maybe this wouldn't have even happened!" A pause. "Hell! If you even told me about all of this, it probably wouldn't have happened! Jesus Christ, Jaden…"

[Raijinslayer]

The study was a rather small room, all things considered, though that was mostly due to the many stacks upon stacks of books that towered overhead. Jaden had read every work in here at least twice, and even now, he found some measure of peace among the smell of aged paper and faded ink. As Clara came into his office, a fresh smelling storm of barely suppressed fury and outrage, he was busy thumbing through an aged-tome, clad in a cracked leather binding and held together with frayed rope-binding. His gaze didn't rise from the text at first, scanning the ancient words laid out before him for a few moments longer. With a soft sigh, he would close the tome with a loud 'Thump', setting it down on a nearby stack of similar-looking books. Situated in his large office chair, a monstrous black leather thing that seemed to swallow anyone that sat in it's maw just from the sheer size of it, Jaden tapped his thumbs together as he tried to think of how he should even begin to explain himself to her. His reasons, his fears, his wants, all felt much too trivial and selfish in the wake of what had happened. Perhaps because that's exactly what they were; trivial and selfish reasons from a man who still wished he could live life like a normal human again.

"I was supposed to tell you, the only person that I've ever truly grown close to in my years of immortal isolation, that I had the potential to become a monster at any moment if I allowed myself to indulge in even the slightest of my base desires?" While the words seemed mocking, he said them with a sense of guilt and regret, knowing full well that this was what he should've done. She'd had a right to know. "A better man than I would've told you sooner. Would've told you to stay far away and gone to spend the rest of their lives rotting from the inside, letting any hint of human feeling and weakness crumble away to hold the dark secret that I kept. . . but I am a weak man. I wanted to tell you many times over the years, but when ever I summoned up the courage to attempt, the fear that you would hate me, that you would find me repulsive, and more than anything, that you would leave me to my loneliness, terrified me."

"That isn't an excuse, however, nor could I apologize enough to ever make up for my failure tonight. It was foolish of me to think that I would be able to take a rest from my vigil against my inner demon." Grasping the arms of his chair tightly, Jaden took a deep breath as he ran a hand through his ivory hair, feeling a cold chill run through him He didn't want to say what he was about to say, but he knew that he had to give the option to her after what happened. She deserved this much, at the very least. "Clara, if you desire to leave now, after everything that's happened, then I can have your things arranged for you and money dropped into an account for you. Then you can leave and never think about me again. But before you decide on it, can I just say that I. . . I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for what happened. I understand that you may no longer want to see me, you can hardly seem to stand in my presence, but just . . . please stay."

Jaden gave up any semblance of authority as he got out of the chair, fell to his knees, and bowed his head in a plea for forgiveness.

[color=Ivory["I . . . I don't want to be alone again."[/color]

[earlymorninstar]

Clara wasn't sure what to do or what would meet her after her outburst. The only thing that seemed real to her, something she could grasp onto easily, had been the anger and rage laced with betrayal and the new distrust that swirled together like a brewing and angry storm. The itch to run, to hurry off and leave him in the aftermath of her fury was terribly strong. Yet, part of her had rather drown herself in drink, curl up in bed, and force it all away as quick as she could, but then again, it was the liquor and that same anger that had gotten her in this mess in the first place. So, Clara had kept herself planted, eager to shift and move in her anxiety, wanting to pace but knowing it would only weaken her own control. She was stiff, her hands clenched into fists as her nails bit down firmly, digging into the palms of her hands while she braced herself for the inevitable outburst that should have come from him. She was ready to fight, ready to argue and kick and scream until she had gotten her point across; until she could get it all out and feel at least partially better that everything within her had been released in a fit of rage until she was too exhausted to deal with it any longer.

And yet she was not met with what she expected, and it threw her off the path that she had so intently set for herself while she'd been in the shower.

It was almost there: the mocking words that he had begun with had triggered her despite the tone that he carried. "That's exactly what you should have done!" Clara hissed out without hesitation. "At least I would have had a goddamn choice! I would have known what the hell I was getting into last night!" She argued, her voice still firm in her resolve that the man before her had hurt her in one of the worst ways, and there was no going back. He was supposed to be the only one that she could put her faith in; the one who had brought her in and sheltered her, put up with every headache and every worry that she could have placed upon him. He was the one out of all of her bouts of insanity, her mood swings, her attitude day by day, who had kept her grounded and brought her back to exactly where she was supposed to be. If she ventured too far, he was always there to draw her home, to bring her back to the reality at hand, to try to keep her own doubts, fears, and depression from swallowing her whole.

And all this had done was to thrust her right back into it; into that twister of fear that perhaps she had let him in too much; she had let him get too close that he was able to hurt her. She should have kept him at arm's length, just out of reach like she did with most others. Hell, she thought she had for a long time; the way she always snapped at him, the way she had shut down any semblance of caring to keep herself isolated in his own home. Clearly she'd slipped up somewhere along the line; clearly somehow he had gotten through some of her walls, for his mere absence and the idea that he could have forgotten about her so easily had triggered her rage and had caused her to wander – caused her to become prey to whatever the hell that was that was buried inside of him.

Her words were silenced as Jaden had spoken again, and she felt her anger waver for a moment. Where had it all gone? The idea that he could have lashed out in his defense was the only thing she had planned to act against. Now that he'd spoken and looked so … defeated in a way that she had never seen before, Clara wasn't sure how to react. His sudden admittance to everything had left a hollow feeling within her, as if all of the air that had built within her was suddenly let out all at once and she was left grasping for something that wasn't quite there. Why couldn't he have just fought her? It would have been so much easier then, so easy to run and lock herself away until she felt lonely enough to come out. The one thing that she had needed and the one thing that she solely relied on had been the trust that he would never hurt her, and it had been the first thing broken, no matter how many years it had taken. She would have rather him admitted it a long time ago, she could have at least prepared herself for something like this, but to have it happen in such a way left her completely vulnerable to him, even more than she'd been in the past. Regardless of the fact that he remembered the night before or not, she had given herself over in such a way that left her feeling used even now – even if it wasn't entirely him who had done it, and that feeling had brought her immediately back to when it all began. It was a feeling that she never wanted to endure again; the reason she kept them all away; the reason she pushed and pushed at Jaden so that there was some distance between them.

But he'd found a way to break through it after all, hadn't he?

Jaden had given her a choice that she hadn't expected; a choice that seemed so final in the way he spoke of it. There had been a tiny part of her that had wanted to take it out of spite; to make him feel the emptiness of her absence, and perhaps it would have been a good choice for a little while. Perhaps she could make it on her own out there, but – she knew that ache would creep up, slow at first, perhaps hardly even noticeable for a long time, but it would be there. Regardless of the anger she felt now, Clara understood that she couldn’t' very well leave. Because no matter how much she had denied it, she needed him just as much as he needed her. It wasn't until now, the way he seemed so detached from the choice he had given her, the way he nearly stripped himself bare for her to see, that she'd even noticed it before.

At the end of the day, Clara had owed her life to Jaden.

No matter how much he had gotten under her skin over the years, how many times she had gotten angry at him for something he'd done or the way he dragged her home, that point had remained firm. For whatever reason, Jaden had taken her in that night. He could have let her die, could have let herself get killed one way or another, but he had taken her in and he had provided for her. No matter how bitter or how difficult she had become, he had dealt with her, put up with her mess and her emotions – who else would do such a thing for her? Especially since she truly believed she was so easily tossed aside…

As Jaden had moved to kneel before her, she felt her stomach sink to her toes. His submission had been foreign to her, so much so that it nearly made her ache when she heard his words, despite herself. How, even for a moment, she could want to make his pain go away was beyond her. How things had suddenly taken a turn and she could no longer muster the strength to lash out was a mystery. But the one thought had still remained and she knew she could not leave him regardless of how much she had felt that he betrayed her with his lie.

"…Stand up, Jaden." Clara finally murmured after a long bout of silence had hung thick on the air. Her voice had wavered, more so than she would have liked it to and her arms came to cross over her chest in a loose embrace only for herself. She had looked away from him if only for a moment, unsure about her decision but understanding that the idea of being on her own had scared the hell out of her as well. She had become so used to him – the only one that had known and understood at least a shred of what she'd been through – and she knew she would never allow anyone else to get that close again. Hell, she wasn't entirely sure she could let Jaden get that close again…

"If you have anything else to tell me, you need to lay it on the table right now." Clara spoke once more, her voice more firm this time as her gaze landed back upon him. "I do not like to be lied to – you know that full well… Because I swear, Jaden, if something like this happens again – I... I can't promise that I'll still be standing here afterwards…" Was that the truth? Clara wasn't so sure… all she knew was that she couldn't go through it again and she despised the emotions that were flowing through her no matter how much she tried to hide it from him.

[Raijinslayer]

Jaden rose in silence, his gaze aimed downward as if his head had been weighed down by a great burden. As she laid down her request, no, her order, an icy chill went down his spine. He wondered how much he should tell her, wondered what she would think of him if he unleashed everything on her right now. While he knew honesty was what she desired and needed at the moment, he also knew that Clara wasn't as strong or unshakeable as she liked to posture, especially now of all times. . . but he also knew that she could tell if he's holding something back. He felt trapped between a rock and a hard place, unsure which path t take. Either one could drive her away from him, but telling her everything about himself, including the reason he saved her in the first place . . . he didn't know how that would affect her in the state she was in right now.

Realizing that he had been silent for too long, Jaden took a deep breath, taking a moment to decide on the path he would walk down, then taking that first step. "I . . .I was a lord once, way back when. I'd been alive for more than a century, probably two, when I first found you. In that time, when I was wholly human, I had been in love. I would've given anything for her, would've killed for her. For a time she seemed to avoid my advances, but we were eventually wed and ruled together for a time, serving my king and tending to those under me as best I could."

"But then, my town . . . this town, was devastated by a disease of unholy origin. It infected everyone, dooming them to a slow, prolonged death for which there was no cure . . no relief. Even I wasn't safe from it, and my wife. . . my poor Diana. . ." As ancient memories drifted to the fore, so to did the old wounds they carried. Even now, he could feel the tightness in his chest, the poison in his veins that turned his blood to acid, the feeling of death's curved blade drawing itself across his neck, eager to harvest his mortal soul. "The thought of her dying in such a way drove me to madness, and I began hurriedly searching for someway to cure this sickness, even if it drove me closer to my own death as a result. It was in this state of desperation that he appeared. Your sire."

Once more, anger bubbled up to the surface from the depths of his mind, but while the anger before had been internal and self-deprecating, this was full-blown, murderous rage. For a moment, all that could be heard were his heavy breaths as he struggled to calm himself, his fingers curled into a fist so tight that his knuckles turned white and blood began to drip down to the floor from the deep gashes he was carving into his own palms. It was a full minute before he was able to speak again, though it felt like so much longer.

"He came into my court with whispers of ancient cures and witchcraft, telling me he'd be able to cure not only me and Diana. . . but the entirety of my hold, and it wouldn't cost me a single coin. I knew that it was much too good of a deal to be with out cost, that he was hiding something from me . . but I didn't care. I took him up on his offer, and that was the beginning of the end. He worked his dark magic upon me as soon as the deal was struck, filling my body with the evil power of the demon. After that . . . well, you saw the scene in the club. They were all cured of their sickness, but no relief was given to them. By the time I managed to take back control of my body with the help of the the town priest, the damage had been done. All the men drained and all the women turned . . . including Diana." A soft sigh escaped from Jaden's lips as he let himself fall back into his seat, his fingers uncurled as he saw the flesh quickly knit itself back together before his eyes. Soon, any evidence of the wound vanished from sight, as if the incident had never happened.. Only the blood that stained his hands remained.

"From that day till the day I found you, I dedicated myself to hunting that man down. Revenge drove me to do terrible, terrible things in order to feed the demon, to grow in power, to get closer and closer to my goal. He sent terror after terror before me in an attempt to throw me off his trail or kill me, but all he managed to dow as slow me down. As the years went on, the gap between his got smaller and smaller, until I could almost smell his foul nature. On the day we met, I was so close to catching him, so close to ending the evil that had forced me down this dark path. And then, I saw you writhing in pain and agony on the beach. 'Another distraction' I thought, about to put you out of your misery." At this point, Jaden turned his gaze up to look at Clara, though his eyes seemed glazed over in memory. Like he was seeing someone else in her place. "But then I came to see you clearly, and it was like a ghost had come from my memory to greet me. Even now. . . you look so much like her, so much so that it hurts. 'The Perfect Distraction', I'm certain that's what he thought when he saw you wondering in the forest. The cunning devil knew me better than I knew myself, knew how I'd be unable to leave you alone like that, but also that I wouldn't have the will to kill you before the change was complete. He knew I'd take you in, and in doing so, would give up my chase. My guilt -and later, my loneliness- were hat much stronger than my desire for revenge."

[earlymorninstar]

Did she entirely expect Jaden to tell her anything further? Not exactly, but if he had anything further to hide, Clara deserved to know at that point. She had been with him for so terribly long, followed Jaden wherever he chose to take her, and after all of this time she hadn’t a clue about the other side of him that she’d so suddenly gotten more than a taste of the evening before. It had shaken her in a way that she couldn’t explain, unsure of the man that begged for her forgiveness for her, having foolishly placed her trust within him. And yet, he had given her no reason other than the night before not to trust him previously. To have this happen after so many centuries were placed between them, she felt more than apprehensive.

But then Jaden had began to speak and it was a distraction that perhaps wouldn’t be as welcomed as she would have liked. Part of her had wondered why he was delving into his past - why he had chosen to tell her of what he’d been before; why he’d chosen to tell her about a wife that she’d had no idea about that he had once lost. But as he continued, as he spoke even further, the connection between him and her had seemed to lie deeper than the coincidence that he had found her that night so long ago and had decided to bring her in under his wing. The mere mention of him had struck a chord within her, made a chill run down her spine and made her stomach swirl even further with the anxiety that continued to grow within her.

Clara had absolutely no idea that Jaden could have held any ties to her sire -- especially ones that could have led him to her on that night.

Her gaze had turned from him then, afraid to see anything that might have lingered in his gaze, and afraid to show too much of the emotions that continued to swirl and dance across her features. Her silence held heavily on the air between them, anxious to hear more and yet wanting to stop him before he’d gotten too deep, before he had said anything that could have changed what was held between them even further than it was already altered. But she needed to know. She had to know everything in order to move forward and in order to decide if staying could have been the right choice for her.

Clara had caught the scent of his blood on the air and for a moment her attention had danced between a pile of books before her to Jaden if only to see the cause for any wound, but she’d pushed it aside all at once as he spoke. She didn’t want to see him as he explained how her sire had been the cause of everything she had met the evening before -- how he’d been the cause for his wife’s fate…

And even furthermore the new knowledge that no matter what she had believed had happened between her sire and herself, she had been meant as a distraction for Jaden, and that was it. A piece meant to throw him off of her own sire’s trail… a mere ploy and nothing else, tossed aside only for his own gain. Clara had swallowed the small lump that had welled within her throat as her arms had crossed tighter around herself, her nails pressing against the skin of her arm beneath her shirt’s sleeves. Jaden had only saved her because she had resembled his late wife -- not because he had a shred of compassion for the fact that she’d been a female discarded. No, he took her in because she made him remember -- all of these years, she’d been a reminder and perhaps that was it. Part of her had wished that he had just left her to die, whether it would be by someone else through her untamed hunger, or even herself -- he should have gone after her sire and fucking destroyed him…

It took a long while for Clara to respond, her body stiff before she had shuffled a bit in place. None of what she had learned had settled within her the way she had wanted it to, wondering if after all of this time - all he saw was his dead wife before him -- if that was what he ultimately wanted after all of this. Fuck -- the urge to dash off and drink the rest of her day away was terribly strong and perhaps after all of this, that was where she would end up. She needed time to think; needed time to breathe… Her sire had not only changed the course of her life, but he’d also altered Jaden’s in an even more terrible way. Her life had been nothing to him; everything she understood was a terrible lie, and she suddenly felt more worthless than she had before.

“...You should have just fucking left me then -- should have gone after that son of a bitch and be done with it already.” Her words were quiet, but Clara did not dare to look at him just yet. Her hands had moved from her arms before they lifted to her hair, fingernails running against her scalp as she pushed her damp waves from her face, her eyes closed as she still tried to grasp everything to its fullest.

“All of that time…. I fucking begged you to take my life back then… But you kept me here out of selfishness…” There came a pause after her words before she finally had looked to Jaden, not only that rage and anger from before held deep within her gaze, but there had been something else. Had it been hurt -- pain -- betrayal? She had hoped to hide all of that just as quick as it came. “I hope to hell you realize at least by now that I’m not her and I will never be her.” She hissed out quietly.

“And to hell with that bastard getting away with any of it.... Even if you’ve given up, I haven’t… Especially now knowing that I was a fucking ploy to keep you from him and that’s all...”

[Raijinslayer]

Jaden flinched as Clara spoke, regretting his decision as he felt the pain, the hurt, the betrayal, all wrapped up in a firey fury so intense, he could feel the heat of her glare as it pierce him.

"I won't deny selfish desire is what cause me to prolong your life, and for that I know there is nothing I could ever do to atone for that. But please do not think that my weakness was the only reason I kept you under my wing." A deep sigh would flow from his form as he ran a bloodied hand through his hair. His white locks, now speckled and spattered with flecks and splats of his blood, framed his face in an peculiar fashion as his head bent forward to rest in his palm. With the amount of regret and loss set in his eyes, he seemed to almost visibly age before Clara's age, his body seeming frail an fragile within the immense blackness of the chair upon which he sat. "I knew, within days, that you and Diana were not the same. In fact, you couldn't have been anymore different. No, hat made me want to care for you through this tragedy was that I saw a poor girl with her heartbroken and cursed with something she never asked for. I knew it was my fault, and knew I had to take responsibility for you. But more importantly, I felt something. . . thaw as I cared for you. I felt joy when you began to slowly get through your issues sorrow when I noticed the scars you still bore and the hatred that consumed you. You made me feel human again, after years of doing nothing hunt and kill, I'd forgotten what it had been like to care for others."

"I saw some of myself in you, Clara, that drive, and, unfortunately, that same way burning hatred for that damnable hellspawn. Being with you, and seeing how your hatred affected you is what kept me from pursuing him. Killing him won't change anything, not for me and not for you. The damage has been done, and vengeance will not provide the closure you seek. Know that it was never my intention to use you as a replacement for Diana, never my desire to do anything but care for you and share your company. That is the truth of it, I swear to you, however little that may mean at the moment."

[earlymorninstar]

It was numbing – the truth suddenly coming out after all of these years both by her own discovery and even now as he spoke to her. She wasn't sure what to grasp; what entirely to feel as he continued to release it, and everything she could have previously thought or understood now had been altered in a way that she felt as if the ground had been pulled from right beneath her feet. Any semblance of worthlessness that she had felt before in her own abandonment had been amplified, especially now that she'd realized she'd been a mere pawn in a plot that was much bigger than her own. The fact that she'd only been sheltered, spared from an inevitable death, due to the fact that she resembled Jaden's late wife had also struck a nerve deep within her, perhaps more than she could have expected. None of this had settled well with her, none of it had made any bit of what she'd learned acceptable, but why she hadn't run straight out of that room and far away from the one who she was supposed to rely on had still been beyond her understanding.

It was harrowing – the truth laid out before her to pick up the pieces one by one in a slow haze of disbelief. Clara hadn't wanted to know the truth – hell, she hadn't known there was more to any bit of the story until her mistake the night before; until she had been consumed entirely by what was held within Jaden. She was bound to find out at least that part inevitably, and she still couldn't believe after all of this time, he had chosen to keep it hidden…

How after all of this time she hadn't a damn clue that he was connected to her sire in more ways than she could have ever guessed.

Without fully realizing it, Clara had found herself pacing – her steps a feverish march back and forth with the energy and frustration and sheer adrenaline that continued to surge through her, begging for release. How she wished she could simply wreak havoc on the room alone – shove past the stacks of books, rip apart anything that lie on his desk. She needed to take it out on something and yet her hands remained busy, fingers curling through her hair, nails biting against her scalp while she tried to contain herself without managing to take it entirely out on Jaden. She'd had issues before – the mere need for isolation over the fear that anyone else could hurt her just as quickly as her sire once had. She pushed Jaden far away no matter how close he had tried to get; she kept herself distant from anyone who could have found themselves within her life… It was safer that way. And now the one person who, regardless of the distance she had tried to put between them after some time of being together, had managed to hurt her even throughout that isolation – she felt unsure, shaken, doubting what she should and shouldn't do while her thoughts couldn't seem to stay in a straight line.

His words might have reached her in the way he had wanted them to at any other time, but as for now, they were mere words to her. She didn't want to hear how she had helped him in a way; how he could have felt towards her after all of this time. She didn't want to let him in; let him know how day in and day out she ached for that companionship no matter how much she drove herself to push it away – especially now where she felt that he'd suddenly dashed it all away, sent it crashing in shards on the floor before her.

"You're wrong." Clara bit out as soon as he continued. "Killing him would change everything… Maybe not for you, but it would for me." She wouldn't have to worry where the hell he was; if he was out there… She had a feeling he still existed, still lurked maybe not close by, but he most certainly wasn't dead. With his death, she'd hoped her nightmares would end, the incessant sleep deprivation that pushed her even closer to the need for isolation; She wanted to make that man feel everything that he made her feel, everything that she tried to numb day in and day out when she managed to drink her nights away. Suddenly it seemed augmented; her sense of crazy, her insecurities all brought to light by the mere mistake she'd made the night before out of her anger over Jaden's neglect… The truth suddenly thrust upon her made her entire world seem falsified in a way… And after a while, throughout all of her anger, came that numbing sensation, that – really after all of this, what else could hurt her as badly? What else could she have to lose?

She seemed defeated in that moment, as if her last words had been spoken with what little energy that she had left. Her gaze dropped from him and fell to the floor for a long moment before her steps had taken her cautiously to one of the smaller chairs that sat before his desk, her body slowly sinking into its hold before she had pulled her legs up tightly to her chest. Her arms had curled around them, keeping herself closed off from him, closed off from anything that could have reached her as she pressed her forehead to the top of her knees. "What am I supposed to believe anymore, Jaden?" Clara's voice had become so quiet suddenly, muffled within her own embrace. "How am I supposed to believe you? How am I really supposed to know what the hell is the truth and what isn’t?"

[Raijinslayer]

"I don't think there is a definitive way to answer that, Clara." Jaden wanted to reach out and try to comfort her, her current position so reminiscent of how she was right after he had found her. But now, he was the one who had hurt her, had driven her this far into herself. Not through the actions of his demons, no, by the words he had spoken just now. He had made a decision, a decision to tell her everything, hoping that it would help, but he had just driven the nail in deeper. It was a foolish mistake, but it was too late to take it back. Now, he had to do his best to be as honest with her as possible, to rebuild the trust that, after being cultivated for centuries, now seemed on the verge of crumbling apart. "All I can say is that for the longest time, I've had your best interests at heart, that I regret what happened this night, and that I will never let it happen again. It was a moment of weakness and you suffered because of it, and for that, I will never be able to forgive myself."

"All I can really say for myself is that I mean what I say with all my heart. Ultimately, the decision is yours whether I'm worthy of your trust or not. Look into your heart and decide what you think is best for you. No matter your choice, I will support you to the best of my ability for as long as you need it, as I always have and always will." Jaden's weary gaze looked upon Clara's small form a moment longer, wondering if this would be the last time he looked upon her, before closing his eyes with a soft sigh. The emotions of this conversations, along with his worries and anxieties for the future, were starting to take their toll on him. He felt drained of his strength, of his will. So much has happened in such a short amount of time, it's almost overwhelming when I stop to think about it. All of those lives, taken, and I'm to blame. And yet, the thought of her leaving frightens me oh so much more. If I'm left alone again, to the bask in the glow of my demons with no one around to ease the sting. . . I will lose myself to him. I will cease to be, and that bastard will have won. The thought turned his mouth into a grim line as his teeth grounded against each other, his form tightening for but a moment, only to once again lose all of the tension built within it.

But that's why he chose me as a vessel, isn't it. He could tell just by looking at me that behind all of the bravado and titles of my position, I was a weak fool, easily deceived and easily broken.

[earlymorninstar]

Clara wasn't necessarily sure what she could expect. And yet she had hoped for a more solidified answer than what he had offered her. His own doubt had unsettled her - left her feeling worse in the wake of her own question than she thought she would. He had not reached out and comforted her as she had hoped. Instead, she had curled within herself even as he spoke to her, not offering her words of reassurance entirely, but words that had still made her doubt him and the situation at hand. Could she trust him again? Clara wasn't so sure... She needed time to think and she needed time to breathe.

Clara had wanted it all to go away; had wanted the memory of what she had given into the night before to simply fade away, but it wasn't always that easy. Was it? She had slept with him, or at least a part of him in more ways than one... And yet there was nothing more to say past his admittance and apology that could make her feel better.. At least not at that moment.

She had been curled within herself. Her legs close to her form as her arms hugged herself in a way to keep him out, no matter how much she might have needed him then.,. It didn't matter.

She had sniffles n the comfort of her own embrace, wanting to scoff at his words, but keeping quiet none the less. The itch to find a vice to satisfy the ache shebfely within her was terribly strong as she say there, her world already spinning as she was slowly registering everything he had told her. Clara did not say anything further to Jaden, instead she had wiped away the tears that might have been there before she decided to push herself up. If he could not comfort her, she would find something or someone who could...

"Fuck it.... I'll be in my room..." Clara murmured before wiping at her eyes with the back of her arm before he could notice. Her voice held all of the frustration she felt, laced with something else. Was it disappointment? Perhaps...Would she leave? Probably not... She couldnt stand the idea of a life alone, even if it meant dealing with Jadens baggage from time to time... She owed him the world regardless of the truth that hung between them... She owed him her life.

Even still, she couldn't help the pain and ache that continued to surge through her as she suddenly uncurled herself and stood, cautious to meet his gaze before she turned from him. She would go to her room, yes, but not before leaving the study and heading straight for the kitchen. She had pulled out a bottle of white wine and fought with the cork before she was able to pour it, downing the liquid before she poured it again. The glass was held in one hand, the bottle in another before she headed to her room.

Fuck... Things were entirely screwed up, and she wanted it all to go away. No, she needed it all to go away; for Jaden to tell her it would be alright.., for her to be able to curl up within herself and sleep without a care in the world. Instead, she slipped in her bed with her glass, sliding the open bottle to her end table. Maybe if she started drinking now... She wouldn't feel it come the afternoon...

[Raijinslayer]

Jaden didn't say anything as Clara left, thoroughly aware that he had likely screwed the whole conversation right to hell. With a soft sigh, he ran a hand through his hair once more, turning the chair around so that he was facing away from the door. Silence seemed to weigh the room down for sometime, until the sounds of drawers opening and papers shuffling cut through it all. Placing a thick pile of papers to his left and a inkwell to his right, Jaden began to write. He wrote about how he felt, about what he'd been through, about what Clara meant to him, about a good many things that were swirling in his brain. It was a form of meditation, to write out everything that bothered him in as many ways, shapes, and forms as he could think of. It helped him to think and took his mind off the pain and regret that was currently plaguing his heart. Hopefully, one of these writings would be able to help him better reconnect with Clara. To start regaining her trust once more.

---

As Clara set herself down for a night of drink and sorrow, a presence made itself known in her room. A chill running up her spine was the only warning she'd have before it appeared, a vaguely humanoid shadow that towered over her bed, its crimson eyes looking down upon her with shining amusement. She would know who this was before he spoke, it's mere presence would cause familiar stirrings within her core, a warmth that wanted to be heat, heat that wished to be fire, fire that longed to once again become that same raging inferno that had filled her that night.

[color=Gold]"What's the matter, Clara? You seem upset." Asmodeus leaned in closer, a hand reaching out to caress her cheek. If allowed, however, all that would come of it would be a slight, pleasurable chill as it passed straight through her. "I'm here to listen, if you need me to."