Avatar of Altered Tundra

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7 days ago
Current idk who is in the right but GRAB THE DICK AND TWIST IT!
4 likes
1 mo ago
A decade ago when we made that meme "get kid", this isn't exactly what we meant...
1 like
2 mos ago
Do you think the reason Jesus Christ doesn't rise again is because we keep putting up crosses and he gets flashbacks on how that went last time?
5 likes
7 mos ago
Happy almost crisis!
9 likes
9 mos ago
it's not just a rock IT'S A BOULDER!...or whatever Spongebob said
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As Jaakuna came out, Emiri was acting weird and this was a bit more than usual. Jaakuna didn’t know what she was acting so weird over. He noticed that she all of a sudden had her tea and it spilled over. Maybe she was still in her mindset of seeing half-naked Jaakuna — Or maybe it was something different. Regardless, Jaakuna just shrugged at it. Well, that was until she said what she said. It was in stutters, but Jaakuna heard.

First it was that he can’t. He can’t what? That puzzled him, but when she continued on, Jaakuna was even more confused. He didn’t even know what she was talking about. It took him a good two or three minutes standing up thinking about her attitude, and then he remembered that he left the crumbled and torn bits of the note. Jaakuna really had to think about it, but maybe she was able to read it.

Oh, you think--” JAakuna started laughing. He couldn’t stop. No other words came out, but just laughter came out, so much so that Jaakuna was bending over.
When the knocking of room service came for their room, Jaakuna smiled and chuckled at how fast Emiri would get up to answer it. Perhaps he should have put something else on, but really his clothes were dirty, so it’s not like he would be able to put on clothes. Maybe he should have grabbed a change of clothes, but Jaakuna really wasn’t thinking. Still, it was amusing to see how Emiri was so flustered. It’s not like she hasn’t seen a half-naked man before. Unless, of course, it was. That thought even put Jaakuna’s amusement even higher.

When Jaakuna saw the food being rolled into the room, Emiri set it on the table. She got through hers quickly. Jaakuna didn’t even get the chance to touch his before she so quickly finished hers. As he was about to dig into his array of cheese and deli meats, Jaakuna felt the table shake. She was so rattled up that she was trying to hide it. Jaakuna smiled at this and leaned forward. Him doing that would accidentally allow his penis and balls to slightly show. Jaakuna tried his best to prevent it, but it couldn’t be done.

As he started to eat his cheese and deli meats, Jaakuna noticed some note addressed to him. It read:

This will hopefully make your job easier.

Be wary, for sleeping powder needs to be ingested.

--V


When Jaakuna read the note, he tore it up into bits and pieces. While he did think it would make his job easier, Jaakuna was still thinking about what he wanted to do. He still had to consider all points, but he just couldn’t right. So, he just kept on eating. He would be finished within a few minutes. When he did finish, there was another knock on the door. Jaakuna got up, making sure the towel was tightly tight so that it didn’t come undone.

Jaakuna answered the door and it was one of the employees of the hotel and they brought him a change of clothes . “Thanks for this.” Jaakuna said.

The guy just stared at Jaakuna holding his hand out, as if wanting a tip. However, Jaakuna didn’t catch on and he just slapped the guy’s hand with a high-five reflex and he shut the door.

As Jaakuna looked at the clothes, there was a white tank top, white boxers and some black sweats. It wasn’t much but it was something. “To benefit you, I will change into some clothes. Besides, it’s getting breezy.” Jaakuna said as he went into the bathroom and he closed the door. He proceeded to remove the towel and first he slipped on the boxers first, then the sweats and then the tank top. The sweats were a perfect fit. He didn't even have to tighten the string. He took a minute to stare into the mirror. It was just the entire day that had him stressed and some sleep might really benefit him. Plus, it was getting pretty dark out as Jaakuna could see from when he was out in the living room area. Within a minute, he opened up the door of the bathroom, and exited to walk back to where he was.
Jaakuna kind of laughed. He was amused that Emiri was acting this way in front of him. He actually would embrace this certain reaction she was giving. She was so flustered, so red, that she could barely get the words out without stuttering. She did eventually get the words out which she said that the food would be to their room soon. Then she half-asked a question. Jaakuna simply responded with “hm?”

When she finally got a question out, Jaakuna smiled. He was really amused that she was acting this way. Even more so, she asked him what he was looking at. Jaakuna kept on smiling and moved closer to Emiri, and he leaned forward, no doubt her redness would reach an all-time red. “Oh nothing.” Jaakuna said with a sight teasing undertone. “I just find this whole thing so funny.” Jaakuna said.

If Emiri was going to respond, she would most likely be interrupted by the knocking on the door. “Oh, would you get that? I would do it myself, but I’m a little under-dressed, no?” At the point that he had said that, Jaakuna was already on the couch, sitting cross-legged, and arm resting on the armrest. The way he was sitting would show the very bottom portion of his ass, but it wouldn't show anything more revealing.
“The nerve of that clerk! Say that she isn’t at liberty to say where the Ifrit was? I mean seriously, what is wrong with her? I should have sliced her open when I had the chance.” Savayna said, complaining about the bitch that was the desk clerk.

“But Lady Savayna, if you would have, you most certainly would be in chains. Bhujerba is a neutral state. The authority of our wonderful empire doesn’t reach here.” Said one of the Archadian soldiers, fearing the temper of Savayna.

The Ice Queen hissed, but she knew that was the solider that spoke was absolutely right. As much as she hated it, Savayna knew that her going amuck was not only bad for her, but as representation of the Archadian Empire, she had to act with dignity. However, definitely what she did wasn’t acting with dignity.

Savayna and her soldiers and mages were walking through Bhujerba and as she did, the citizens were clearing the way. It didn’t matter that Bhujerba was a neutral state, the fact of the matter still stood. The citizens were terrified of the Archadian Empire and as such, they would all steer clear from the pathway of anybody from the Archadian Empire.

“Milady, what should we do now? Our plans of finding your ex-husband and our lords brother has not gone as we had hoped. Perhaps, we should head back.” Said one of the five soldiers.

Savayna stopped walking. This caused the other nine, including the one that spoke.

Savayna turned to him, almost as if she was smiling. “You think we should head back, huh? Oh isn’t that thoughtful of you. Well, MAYBE you should think less and just follow my orders, okay?” Savayna said with an ice, cold viciousness within her voice. The way her eyes looked towards the solider who spoke was just as vicious as it would be as if she yelled at him. “Now, we are off to settle this matter politically. We are off to see the Marquis.” She said as she started walking and the nine of her soldiers followed suit.



As the coast was clear, Jaakuna and Emiri went on their way. They were out of the Aerodome and the plan was to go to an inn, but it would seem that Jaakuna’s employers had other ideas. It seemed that they had paid off a pair of orphans and that some hotel called Armanda. Jaakuna had heard of this hotel. He leaned back on the couch as he too had taken a seat for a bit. He thought about what he was going to do, but at least he had the rest of the night to do so.

“Yeah, it does seem that they are. This is just fucking terrific.” Jaakuna sighed.

Following Emiri to the hotel, it took them a few minutes to get into the city and another five to get to the hotel. The Armanda was one of the fanciest hotels that Bhujerba had to offer. Only those of riches would stay there. Those people ranged from high political figures, multi-millionaires, heirs to fortunes, and just about any stuck-up, narcissistic, assholes that thought they were better than everybody else. Whichever the case, it would seem that those two Viera had a fully-paid room for Jaakuna and Emiri. Not that he’s happy with it, but Jaak shrugged it off.

As they both came to be in the room, Jaakuna found the room to be a bit big, but then again he’s the guy with the ship larger than most warships. Jaakuna laughed at that thought and found it a bit funny. As he walked around, scoping it out, he saw that there was a kitchen, bed, and a fully-stocked bathroom with a tub AND a big-ass shower. “Wow, they don’t spare any expense, do they?” Jaakuna said to himself aloud. Jaakuna first took his weapons off and set them beside the couch. Then, he sat down on the couch and drank some tea, as well as did Emiri, it would seem.

As he sipped it, the tea itself was tasty. There was a very slight hint of berries that Jaakuna knew the taste of. It was a berry that was only attainable in Archadia. Sometimes Jaakuna misses his home, but then he thinks of what happened three years ago, and he gets out of that nostalgic state of mind. Jaakuna sips more of his tea and hears Emiri make a note that he should take a bath/shower as well. Jaakuna agreed by nodding, setting his cup on the table, and getting up.

“Yeah, I definitely should. Why don’t you order us some grub from room service while I’m in.” Jaakuna said as he got up, and he headed to the bathroom. As he entered the bathroom, he decided on a shower. It was quicker and he just preferred it over the tub.

Jaakuna first turned on the hot water. Not so hot that it would burn his skin, but not so cold that it would freeze. It was just the right balance of hot and cold. He would then proceed to strip down. First, his shoes and socks were the first to go. Taking them off revealed his white, clean feet. After that, he proceeded to take off his various belts and his olive green-tinted pants. This revealed his bare lower body with the exception of black boxers. Those went next. Following that he took off his jacket and this would reveal his upper body and his various assortment of tattoos on his back, arms, and pretty much all over his upper-body.

Getting into the shower, Jaakuna began scrubbing himself, but first he ran the warm water through his hair. When it’s dry, it comes to his shoulders, but after being wet and straightened as a result, it would come to almost mid-back. Jaakuna just let’s the water go all over his body, and he takes the sponge and soaks it in the water. He then rubs some body wash on it, which he saw was lemon-scented. “Lemon huh?” Jaakuna shrugged at the thought of that. He just scrubbed his body to the point where white suds were forming all over. He would first wash his arms(both under and over) and each armpit. Then his neck would be washed, then his torso area, and soon he would get to his dick, balls, butt, and then lower body.

When he would complete that, he would let the water wash it off as the cleaning feeling started to overtake him. A rare feeling of calmness overtook Jaakuna’s stressful demeanor. Of course, he lets on that he’s a dick, but he’s just doing that so he’s not showing signs that he might actually be decent. After the water rinsed off all the suds, he would go to his hair and after a few minutes of washing it three times — once to rid the dirt, twice to rinse it, and three times to clean it — he would shut the water off. As he would do that, he opened up the shower door, and he would go into the cupboard and get two towels. One of them would be used to dry his body, which he would do in a mere one minute. The second would be used to wrap around his waste. Jaakuna would then open the door, walk out and Emiri would most likely be the witness to his bare upper-body, with all of his tattoos in plain view. The amount of time that it took him to bathe was probably ten to fifteen minutes.
Hope you guys like my post. Jaakuna the loudmouth, sound appropriate, right? :D
For a second, Jaakuna thought Emiri was going to say something, but it seemed that she decided against it. Whichever the case, it would be ten seconds that the beaming of Jaakuna and Emiri would begin and they would touch ground on Bhujerba. Jaakuna had always hated the sensation he got from beaming from his ship to ground and vice versa. He doesn’t know why, but it’s just the feeling he got from it. He just felt weird when it happens.

When they landed on the ground, Jaakuna started walking forward, and he saw some people that he didn’t want to. He didn’t even think that they would get to Bhujerba so fast, but shit they were already there. His ex-wife and her fucking Archadian grunts. “Shit, they’re here, Emiri.” Jaakuna said as he prevented her from going forward. He hid behind a wall as he saw Savayna assert her rank and authority over the officials of Bhujerba. However, that didn’t go exactly according to plan as Bhujerba was a neutral party in the war of Archadia and Rozarria.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T TELL US WHERE IFRIT IS!!!?” Savayna said..loudly.

The desks clerk looked terrified, but she kept her cool. She was wearing the regular uniform for Bhujerba Aerodome employees and her hair was short, and it was brown. Eyes were that of blue shade.

“I’m sorry mam. Under Bhujerba law, I am not at liberty to share such information with you.” She said respectfully, but she was terrified on the inside.

Savayna thought of pointing her sword at the desk clerk and just slashing her to bits, but she decided against it. Instead, she just huffed and puffed and walked away, with her five Archadian soldiers plus four Archadian Mages following her as she walked through the entrance of the Aerodome and into the actual city of Bhujerba.

Jaakuna was so relieved that she didn’t see them. He did not have the patience to or the time or even the energy to deal with her right now. “Okay, it’s clear. Now, let’s go get that room for you.” JAakuna said as he walked and beckoned Emiri to follow.
He hated this. Everything about being here fucking sucked. He wasn’t home, he wasn’t in his own city, state, or whatever the hell you want to describe it as. Jaakuna just wasn’t at home and he hated it as all hell. He really didn’t like the place he was in. It was different, he wasn’t used to the idea of being in this place and he just didn’t like the odd look it had. The architecture was different, the people were different, and there were these things that floated. They were whitish tan or some other shade of that kind. They had these big red ball things attached to their heads and every sentence they spoke either began or ended with the word ‘kupo’. Like what the hell is that? Their style of standing out.

Jaakuna could only describe the area that he’s in as the plaza area. Like, there was that café and just certain things that made Jaakuna think of a plaza. Regardless, he didn’t care. He didn’t care that it was night time or that there was no one around. He didn’t even care that he was out and about and not sleeping the day away. There was just something that was keeping him up, but Jaakuna didn’t know. That was exactly why he chose to go just walk and walk around the town. He also decided to go roaming around.

Roaming and roaming, Jaakuna finds himself in the place that people have referred to as Second District. Yeah, a very cheerful name…not. Whatever, Jaakuna continues. He doesn’t know why he’s walking. The architecture is the same, though the way the city had been constructed was a little better in Jaakuna’s mind. He just continues on and then all of a sudden, he hears something that interests him. It’s something that he hasn’t heard since he got to this town.

“Is that the freaking Bell Tower I hear?” Jaakuna said.

Jaakuna looked around, hoping to get a good idea of where the bell tower was, but he just hears it going on and on. Eventually, as he walks through the second district, which should be dark, but the lights from the buildings and shops light up the district like a freaking Christmas tree or something like that. As Jaakuna was walking around, he heard the sound, but it was getting louder. That must mean he was getting closer and closer to it. “Shit, there it is again.” Jaakuna said as he turned a corner and there it was and what he saw was interesting.

“HEY YOU SONS OF BITCHES!!” Jaakuna yelled as he fast walked to where he saw people and waved to the people he saw near the Bell Tower.
As Emiri went off to freshen up in the barracks section of Jaakuna’s airship, Jaakuna had already set the course to Bhujerba. It wouldn’t be that long until they were high up in the sky at full speed. Jaakuna’s ship can get pretty fast depending on how much of a hurry that Jaakuna wants to get somewhere. Usually, though, he would have to kick the thrusters into hyper speed, but the problem with that is the turns he would have to make would make certain things be a bit bumpy. Now, Jaakuna usually doesn’t have much of a problem with that, but Jaakuna suspected that Emiri was at least going to lay down, so he went at full speeds that the airship would allow for normal travel.

Keeping the ship at non-hyper speeds, Jaakuna estimated about a thirty-minute time frame until he and Emiri would arrive at Bhujerba. As he kept the ship on the right course, he was sitting in his big cockpit alone and with his thoughts. Now, usually that wouldn’t be such a bad thing, but given what has happened today and just Jaakuna rethinking shit, he really doesn’t know what route he wants to do. On one hand, he feels it would be wrong of him to take Emiri to whoever hired him. He has never been a bad guy. He has tried to do the right thing, but he always had a weakness for gil and boy was he offered a heavy sum of it. Maybe he’ll just decide on it when the time came for it.

Not realizing how much time had passed when he was in deep thought, Jaakuna saw the Skycity of Bhujerba. It had been a full 30-minutes and it just seemed too quick. In either case, the ship was nearing the ship port. Jaakuna maneuvers the ship into the airlock and electromagnetic magnets attach themselves to Ifrit’s exterior. Jaakuna then presses a button to the left of the ship’s wheel, so to speak, and speaks. “Emiri, we’re here. Be at the center of the ship in five.” Jaakuna said as he gets out from the cockpit and within four minutes he was at the center of the ship waiting for Emiri so they can beam down to Bhujerba.
Will be posting later on today. I just did the front and back lawn by myself, so I'm pooped. I need nap to regain energy.
These be silent hills here. :C I hope Pyramidhead doesn't fuck with our minds. D:
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