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1 mo ago
Current visiting some people for a little while so will not be super active for a week or so
2 mos ago
the ad spam isn't that much of a problem in terms of covering content. but its a hurtful reminder that the many algorithms that decide what ads to serve think I am the kind of person to gamble
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2 mos ago
do it just don't spam
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2 yrs ago
All the things u thought were cool and good as a kid are actually cool and good. The snobby shit you learn as an adult is cringe, fake counterculture. Embrace reducing everything to infantile terms
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2 yrs ago
I'm a descendant of Charles the 5th of the Habsburgs but the only thing I inherited was the beautiful jaw
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Bio

If you enjoy my posts then consider pressing here to see my 1x1 interest check. Now listen to the tale of a man far from home longing to see its greens again.



About me:
Where do I begin. I'm from Belarus, and fairly proud of it. I've been RPing about a decade starting mostly with chat stuff and some LARPs/reenactments, doing the stuff of this site for maybe half a decade now. I'm a former serviceman, and while I was conscripted I make sure to stay in related circles. As a day job I'm a programmer letting me usually work from home even when we don't have coronavirus forcing us to do so and thus I got a lot of time for RP.

Most Recent Posts

PROLOGUE


It had been a good day for the tribe.

The little man looked so silly, flailing with his arms. Or, well, what was left of them anyway. Truth be told it was fairly impressive how after both hands were cut off he quickly scraped his bones to create improvised daggers of them. The stuntie even managed to take a minotaur before finally coming to the inevitable grasp of the most excellent Lord Zartai.

"Not quite reaching me, are you?"

This angered the Slayer even more, but with his mangled arms the only thing he could do was try to cut through the plated arm of the beastman, unable to reach his exposed body. This prospect failed before even starting, and after a few more mocking moments Zartai squeezed, before letting the headless body fall to the ground amidst its former comrades.



The Ungor Sorceror screamed as somehow there was enough squashed brains in the dead Dawi to get him to stand back up, and use one hand to impale a Gor Warrior whilst using the other to slash Zartai across his thigh. The Deathblow. Zartai had heard of it, though somehow he hadn't heeded the wisdom of this hearsay. Picking up the club of the fallen minotaur he bashed the Dwarf until there was naught left of him save a red puddle. By now all of his wounds had healed, and already he was ready to travel once more from this battlefield. The party was a very tenacious one truth be told, but it didn't last; it couldn't. Between the twinned Spellsinger and Spellweaver, the Slayer, the Knight of the Blazing Sun, the Witch Hunter, the Ranger and the Shaman from Albion they had managed to slayer hundreds of his warriors of the years they quarrelled.

Though a depleted one, Zartai's force was nevertheless to be reckoned with. He alone possessed enough mutations and magical gifts to make short work of much of what his adversaries could throw at him, but by his side there was still a Bray-Shaman, many monstrous beasts, and a great gaggle of mutants and simple heretics seeking their brothers in faith. Even now there were many more coming to serve him, and they were more than simple fodder, oh no. These were those powerful enough to taste the very flow of the warp, those who knew that Zartai had gained favour of all the Chaos Gods save Tzeentch, and that where he went there plunder would follow.

"Leave the wounded." He announced. His many underlings protested, but he hushed them all into silence and simply repeated the order. They could easily be replaced he reasoned, while time could never be. In fact he knew that was wrong, but it was an answer that satisfied or at least mollified his followers. Thus they headed North to the prosperous Wasteland, a status they hoped to change soon. Zartai would commune with Htarken again soon, and then the old world would know suffering.


From the West ride foreigners be they from fair Brettonnia or enigmatic Ulthuan. They came to the land of the Twin-tailed Comet where they shall meet the Sons of the Empire. Heroes? Time will tell, but they shall make their best efforts to be as such. Their lives and skills vary as night and day but all their means will lead to the same end. Every one of their living days will easily be their last, but at the very least their sacrifices wouldn't be forgotten, for in great chronicles they are recorded.

BOOKS:

Book One: In Defence of Truth

Prologue

Chapter One: The Sending of Four
I imagine they stay away to learn how to seduce. They die they die.

Here? They're Alchemistknightessesesesss.


What did he mean by this
"No, they're doing that because you're so charming. What do you think you bloody fool?"


The short retort was followed by something recognizable as the muttering of the elderly when confronted by the lack of experience found in youth. Perhaps it was just a momentary annoyance, but it seemed that at least for now the voice had a very poor tolerance for words of rhetoric or self-evident observations it deemed unnecessary.

However, whatever rapport the boy might have lost by annoying the spectral man was quickly regained when his immaterial ego was stroked by the usage of the higher honorific of the two offered. Some excitement entered Lord Dietrich as Brandon described the presence of orcish barbarians, the man eager to taking the fight to them, albeit with a hint of anger.

"Orcs? Bloody youths, I thought they would be exterminated by now! 'Course, it would help to know when exactly now is but it bloody well seemed long enough to give you time to clear some savage throngs."


The voice grumbled, pausing for a moment when asked about what one best do if against Orcs and their allies.

"The groin's the most important bit. If its a goblin you're against then protect your own, if its an orc you fight then go for their's, but if the opportunity - or perhaps need - presents itself you should be ready to follow the advice against one race when fighting the other."

....

"The literal lesson of that is very important, but I hope you can take the metaphorical one to heart too."


Time passed on the march, and Lord Dietrich subsided his previously incessant complaints at least for now, the seriousness of the situation at least temporarily neutering his flippant edge. This would not last for very long however, for as the battlefield was finally approached the ethereal man felt his old self once more.

"Pipe down, pipe down, you don't have to say it to them they know what you want. Some of the zombies might sound like they still talk but that's just gasses escaping and the occasional spasm of a vocal chord, nothing more. Don't throw everything at them at once, either let them do that first or let them show their ambushers if they got them.... Oh, and challenge their leader to single combat."


@TyrannosaursRex the format of CS I created was to give me the bare minimum of what I as a GM and your fellow players would need demanding only said minima, but you went above and beyond; I'm honoured to have that sheet in the CS tab. That said, I think most DMs including myself prefer to first see the sheet and give it the okay before getting it posted to the CS tab.

With that said a few thoughts. Though few among them would have any reason to divulge this there would be those who quickly bite through the disguise; older Elves, Witch Hunters, and magic users for the most part.

Second, with such detail at my disposal I'm curious if you would be ok with the appearance of people from Jehanette's past in the story given the almost 100% chance we will eventually make our way to Brettonnia (I've already written it into three different plot lines). Most likely members of Alison's family, perhaps the same Greenskins for a cool revenge arc, maybe a few folk who recognize the unique heraldry especially when combined with the Knight's appearance.

Third, does Jehan travel light with just the full plate for protection or is there chainmail and/or cloth armour beneath, etc.
PENNSYLVANIA PLAZA // JAMES FARLEY POST OFFICE
As they went further through the building the fact the people who had shot the police officers found it necessary to go for the head like the first ones the Agents had seen, Badger at least felt a little more confident for it might suggest they lacked long-rifles to penetrate the body armour of the Agents. Of course that was probably wishful thinking and whoever had done this massacre was probably just either A) saving bullets or B) making absolute sure that their opponents were dead. The former of the two options meant that the stinginess of the opponent could be levered against them, whilst the latter would insure that if one of the Agents got taken out of action then they wouldn't recover, for this foe would make sure to execute them as they had the now dead men at their feet.




Badger stood impassively as Firefly spoke, nodding to his counterpart as he finished. To him it seemed that the man was speaking this warning as much for himself as for Don who knew he didn't really need it. He was well aware he was a cold utilitarian bastard; the only thing he would consider offering the souls that would be there might be a bullet of mercy, but even that was likely out of the question given that with all the factories closed down the ammunition the agents had was to be rationed.

They went through the scene, and though it was a harsh sight the Agent calmly did his duty looking side to side making sure no threats were hidden between the pictures of misery. Eventually they made it to the elevator, Don frankly quite surprised it was still operational given the state of disrepair of everything else. In fact, he was rather suspicious. "Weird that the elevator's working, when everything else is so fucked." Of course given the security room was still functional it wasn't that much a surprise, but still something to think about.

When the topic of the men being sent here was broached, something like a smile finally went on Badger's lips. "From how it sounded I was certain the answer is 'C: All of the above.' even as they were briefing us. They simply couldn't know exactly what is going on here, but they likely guessed its a rat-trap with ninety-nine percent efficiency, money back guaranteed. Chances one of us are going to be part of a mortality statistic are pretty high I think, but I don't think that's the fault of the pricks that sent us here. Look around, there's no more coffee runs to be done, everything is a suicide mission, and amongst them this isn't that bad. I think a bullet to the brains is nicer than having some dipshit use a baseball bat to turn my ribs into aspic."


Denver Reclamation Force Squad Thaddeus

Thuck. Thuck. Thuck.

The axe finally broke through the barricade, the glare of flashlights immediately following through the opening. They didn't reveal much beyond old bones.

"Nothing." the voice rang out, the combined task force relaxing. A Frumentarius kicked a skeleton, ancient parts of which turned to dust. The search of Denver's ruin's had been fruitless thus far, and leadership was getting angry.

Of course, fruitless was a comparative term. Thousands of crates of medicine, preserved foods, munitions, electronics and other valuables had been secured, but that was not what the Governor wanted and that was who could order their deaths with a lazy flick of his fingers. What he described was… well, to some of the men present with more tribal backgrounds it was all but incomprehensible, but the more learned warriors knew they'd know it when they saw it.

The most veteran of the Frumentarii did a few taps on his Pip-boy before giving the squad a rest, and then an order to continue. There were occasionally ghouls in these basements and sub-basements, but the few that were about were… well, the only way to describe them would be to call them mangled. It was as if something had ate their flesh, but wasn’t sufficiently famished to finish them off. A rather pathetic display was even now before the warriors as a legless torso made an admittedly fervent effort in crawling towards them. The poor thing was put out of its misery with a gladius to the skull, before the men continued.

They were getting tired both in the moment and of their greater work. It was repetitive to say the least, and yet it yielded no results that would bring them glory or at the very least save their hides. Decanus Cyril suggested the governor be informed that all the buildings were searched and his quarry was not found, but in unison the Frumentarii shot the idea down. Though in any hypothetical punishment by decimation they had a fair chance of survival owing to their favourable view by the Emperor, it was still not absolute guarantee their heads would escape wrath of the Lord.

No, they had to do this and they had to do it well. It was a harsh life down here, the main thing that they packed being water and munitions, with the abundant appearance of wandering dogs feeding them.

Another basement was entered, and flashlights were turned on. Once again they went through all the rooms they found, marking down any with something valuable in them with a pink chalk X to make it clear to following parties of Scouts they should look within for things further marked within.

“Hold.” Everyone looked to the Frumentarius who whispered, doing his bidding. He motioned for all to follow him into a room previously cleared that they closed the door to. Flashlights were turned off such that eyes could acclimatize to the dark, and soon peering through the missing doorknob all could see what the man had heard.

It was a cyberdog which was a sight not particularly rare but not common either in Denver. But it looked odd. The steel was fresh, no scars upon it and it was also so wet its fur gleamed in the gloom. The gait of the beast was odd, a limp that with every step seemed to right itself. Similarly the animal had odd spasms that happened every half second at the start of its journey through the vision of the Legionnaires, but by the end they all but stopped.

Eventually the door was opened, and looking down the soldiers could see that the thing had left a trail of an odd slime behind itself.

Cusses of confusion rang out, and slowly the trail was followed to its origins. They went deeper into a sub-basement, and then a sub-sub-basement, where they found a blast door. It was battered, a great hole preventing the blast door from being effective in its purpose. The slime-trail had continued here, and now it was illuminated by a blue light from the other side. The squad wasted no time in finding out what the hell they stumbled upon, and a combination of pickaxe, mattock, chainsaw and blowtorch swiftly dismantled the rusty barrier.

The Decanus grinned, bright lights of the place lighting up his bandana’d face so well one could see his expression behind the mask. They had found what they came for.
Full Name and Aliases (if any): Hugo (Anastasius) van Zellenberg

Race: Human

Homeland: Hugo hails from The Empire of Sigmar, particularly the high quarters of a small town called Uexkull near Hochland’s capital of Hergig.

Faith: Loosely Sigmarite

Sex: Male

Appearance:
Hugo has the build of his past life as an indulgent noble albeit in a modified form. Still somewhat flabby with jowls and an impressive collection of chins he now hides some muscle under all that. His hair is a very dark red while his eyes a light brown, his skin at the Imperial average thanks to a considerable amount of days outside. The man will walk with an arrogant swagger that makes him seem taller than his true height of about 170cm. He’ll have fairly dense and minimally maintained facial hair while the hair on the top of his head will be cut short and likewise messy for to make the wearing of hats more comfortable.


The Bait: A decadent little man Hugo was sent to the university in Nuln where he was to be tutored in all the things a noble would need from Calculus to agricultural management. However, during his studies he very much liked to partake in the sensual and depraved. From drugs to fine music to loose women he enjoyed it all, but he was not prepared for his spiral into degeneracy to eventually bring him face to face with the servants of the Prince of pleasure on the night of his graduation. He was frightened, and his rejection of the sacraments he was to receive slated him for sacrifice. The lad was lucky however, for a Witch Hunter and his party raided the establishment the very moment he was about to meet his death.

Though he escaped sacrificial blade, he was still in a place devoted to Slaanesh and from his inebriation it was clear that he was certainly adjacent to if not quite on the path to becoming one of the slain heretics. The Witch Hunter was not an over-zealous soul and knew the young nobling deserved mercy. He didn’t need another member of his retinue, but he did know of another secretive organization that fresh members of his sort and thus directed Hugo to the local chapter-house of the Black Badges.

The Catch: Hugo’s father is a self made merchant born of the streets that married a woman from a bankrupt noble family to get himself and his progeny the title of Baronet. It is thus that he was at least partially immersed in both worlds. He has the connections and education of nobility (ranging from languages like Brettonnian and Gospodar to physics of Imperial firearms) coupled with at least some experience and grit of commoners. He was taught academic fencing with weapons of finesse like rapiers and longswords but he is well versed in fighting dirty and honourlessly. Though not the best specimen that has entered the organization, he is far from the worse and his knowledge that he was only alive so long as he served the Black Badges insured he gave all of his effort into being a good Agent.

Initial Possessions: A noble’s hunting outfit, a set of chainmail from neck to toe, a steel skullcap, an outrider’s pistol, a crannequin crossbow, a rapier, and a dagger will all be seen across the man. Beyond that he travels light with naught more than a flask, stationery, a firestarting set, a sleeping bag, some rope, waterskin, and Dwarfen stonebread. The only true personal item he has is an intricate runic mechanism of starmetal that acts as compass, thermometer, and watch all at the same time; and old gift from his father. It costs more than the entirety of his otherwise plain assembly combined. It can even detect and measure the presence of magic, as well as hinting if it is borne by Chaos though how to properly do this the man has long since forgotten.

Current Possessions: Mirrored with the above.


Our story will follow the Black Badges, an organization made centuries ago at the behest of Magnus the Pious of the Empire of Sigmar, Teclis of Hoeth, Alexis of Kislev, and Alrik of Karaz-A-Karak in the final meeting before their parting. The Black Badges receive funding from many sources, though primarily from the Empire. Traveling the breadth of the Old World they are an apolitical force on the watch for the forces of Order to strike against the forces of Chaos, Death, and Destruction.

Characters from a wide array of background will be accepted, though they will tend to the golden mean between peasant adventurers yet to take a life and wizards capable of melting hordes of Chosen.

The most important thing I'm looking for in players is reliability. There are only a few truly successful RPs on this website and I intend for this (if it begins) to be added to that collection. If you think you might not be able to dedicate enough time to reliably post once a month then turn back now. In the past I've been too lenient with people in my RPs, something which I shall try to cut down upon. You don't need to be a super lore nerd about WHFB, but you should be acquainted at least with the very basics of the setting. The RP is advanced, I expect literacy and as much detail as you can add without degenerating into what's oft called "purple prose".

The Black Badges are a fairly secretive organization, it’s membership in total amounting to slightly more than a thousand in the entirety of the Old World. Though they receive a considerable amount of funding from the government of the Empire of Sigmar, and a non-negligible list of stipends from other major powers of the Old-World. At the same time however, there is no official position for the organization; Agents of the Black Badge found in an insurrectionist’s hideout in Akendorf of the Border Princes will find Karl Franz denying any knowledge of or relation to the poor souls when they are brought to trial.



But yet they continue in the eternal war against Chaos, Death, and Destruction. Unthanked, spending nights cold and wet, risking their lives they work for the greater good of all.

This RP will be set in a variation upon the WHFB universe where we follow an alt history. The End Times are still according to some on the horizon, but they’re delayed compared to official canon. In a sense we will be following the events of a hypothetical campaign of Total War: Warhammer. There will be a fair amount of realism; if you whack someone right in their breastplate with a sword don't expect much more than them getting a faint push. Don't expect to spend days waiting in ambush without rations to keep you upright, etc. etc.At the same time I won't be obnoxiously anal about stuff, i.e. you won't have to frightened from losing a limb to gangrene just because a pellet of buckshot grazed your thigh.

This RP will be in many ways treated like an RPG game. There will be a “hub-world” in a sense, our carriage.

This we will use to travel (at least for the party members not currently in possession of their own mount) between assignments and often during them, we will carry supplies in this, equipment for both individual party members and that which is shared between all. As time improves we might start furnishing it with things to make our lives easier; perhaps an extra horse to go faster, or barding for the horses such that in an ambush they might survive. Maybe a small swivel gun for defence, or a stonewheel to help maintain weapons, things of the sort. Perhaps if we gain the budget another cart may even be purchased once the first gets too crowded with embellishments.

Player characters themselves will of course see growth. Their experiences will inevitably harden and improve them, they will bring new knowledge and with reimbursements both monetary and otherwise they will be able to improve their arms and armour to a considerable degree.

For discussion, questions, comments, concerns, please join the discord.

With these things kept in mind, the format of the CS can be found below, and an example CS found using my primary character in the CS tab. This character sheet is much smaller than what you might see in a good deal of RPs because I like to operate under the motto of show, don't tell. I will generally trust anyone I accept into this to not have some bullshit up their sleeve, and tell the full extent of their backstory, their personality, etc. through the process of RP. IF my players are planning on a character that toes the line I will likely ask them for a vague biography of their fella but in general the above applies.



With that I’d just like the reader to consider some inspiration for this RP. As you could easily tell from the very name of the RP, story of D’Artagnan and the Three Musketeers was a great inspiration, myself having enjoyed it since I were a boy. Gotrek and Felix Vermintide were also a big ones, though we certainly won’t be playing characters on the level of badassery Gotrek had, we certainly can have a few Felixes. This RP will seek to capitalize upon every theme we can find in WHFB from some low fantasy politicking of Imperial nobles to the very high fantasy of dealing with Chaos Daemons and rogue wizards. Eventually I want to come around to everything that the Old World has to offer from the frigid colds of Kislev and Norsca to the sun-scorched undeath and cold-blooded monsters of the Southlands. I want the bronze-age antiquity of Myrmidens to at some point be seen, contrasted by the 19th century technologies of the Karaz-Ankor. With that all said, get listening to some Schandmaul and get cracking on them character sheets!
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