Earlier that evening…
“She stole your weed, man.”
“Yeah,” said Billy, a blank stare on his bespectacled face as he looked after the mousy girl as she scampered away. He rubbed the scruff on his chin and then turned to his two friends, giving them a shrug. “Yeah, but it’s cool. I think she needs it more than I do.”
He drank the beer Suzie had given to him. Rather, it was his beer that he had given to her, that she in turn had been so kind enough to pour him a foamy cupful. It was bizarre to think that the girl was a part-time bartender, although his joke about how great she was at giving out head had put him on her shitlist until last month. Probably not something he should had said in front of a girl’s parents, hindsight being twenty-twenty. Especially if that girl was someone who had given him a walk to first base out of pity when he was seventeen, and never anything else. His apology had cost him most of his good weed and a bottle of Grey Goose, although her mom still won’t make eye contact with him. Which was fine. He wanted to bone Suzie, not Suzie’s mom. Not that Suzie’s mom wasn’t bone-able; he was just a gentleman.
“I left my bag in your cabin, right?” he said to Suzie. “I think I got some more. Let’s go,” he said, motioning to them to follow as he took off through the woods, his red solo cup carelessly being dropped on the grass.
The issue now was Layne, the genius that had pointed out the obvious fact that Rita had stolen his bowl. Billy had grabbed Rita in the first place solely to get another girl there. Layne was Billy’s best friend, but he was also a hangeron who couldn’t take a damn hint that he wanted some alone time to bust out his moves with Suzie, so he had planned to distract him with a girl. Any girl. He had tried to see if Penny would be up for the task but, well, it must’ve been her time of the month, because the idea made her pretty furious. Whatever. Even if he didn’t get laid tonight, he could still get totally baked and hammered with his friends. That was good enough.Maybe preferably, even. He didn’t have to try then.
Of course, all of this planning and worrying fell to the wayside as he opened the cabin door, his eyes catching a glow of orange in the dark. He cleared his throat and flipped on the light switch, forcing the slender woman in a yellow summer dress to turn her head and drop his bag. Everything spilled out onto the dirty wooden floor—his shirts, his polka-dotted drawers, his bong, his toothbrush, and an unopened box of condoms. He sighed and folded his arms over his chest, blocking his two friends from coming into the door.
“What are you doing with my stuff, Penny?”
Moments before…
What she was doing was stealing his phone charger.
She had not spent her night drinking cheap booze, getting high on bad grass, or trying to stick her tongue down throats like the rest of the dumbass kids here were trying to do. A night in the woods with these people were not her definition of a good time; she would’ve had more fun waxing her legs than hanging with these dirtbags. But, it had provided her with an opportunity and an excuse for a reason to go check out the woods at night, and that was what she had been doing since she had gotten there—stomping around beyond the fence, being snapped by twigs and bit by bugs while she looked for anything that the idiot police could’ve missed. If she got caught, she’d just say that she had been throwing up. Being around these people made her sick anyway; it certainly wasn’t the fact that she had been chain smoking since sundown.
But the flashlight on her phone had nearly drained all of her juice, and only a suicidal idiot would walk around the woods after dark with no light (whereas, apparently, a lone girl doing it with a light was a genius investigatory breakthrough). Penny had traunched back to the cabins, being certain to avoid the campfire where some bitches were already turning it into drama class, and had checked her bag to find her phone charger—which she hadn’t packed. So, she had gone to Billy’s cabin to take his...and that’s when her idiot brother happened to show up, right smack dab in the middle of her grand heist.
She was about to simply answer his question when she looked down and saw the box of unopened condoms. Yeah, no way was she going to let an opportunity to humiliate him like this slide. Grabbing the box, she held it up to her face and studied it, before shooting her brother a quizzical look.
“Like, I don’t know what is sadder,” she said, her voice like nails on a chalkboard as she spat out her cigarette and stomped it out beneath her boots. “The part where you’re so delusional that you totally thought that you’d somehow get laid more than a hundred times before these expired, or the part where you haven’t gotten laid once.” She tossed the box up and caught it. “Actually, I think I might have a guess as to which is more pathetic.”
“Is that Penny?” shouted Layne, his voice too hopeful all things considering.
“No, Layne. It’s not me.”
“I ran out,” said Billy, rolling his eyes.
“Oh, sure,” said Penny. “That must’ve totally been it; it’s just really weird, though, cause I never see you bring any girls back home, and your roommate never sees you bring any girls to your dorm...I mean, help me figure this out. Like, when are you screwing all of these imaginary women?.”
“You really think this much about a siblings sex life?” asked Billy. “You’re gross.”
“What?” said Penny, not expecting her brother to turn the humiliation conga line on her. “No, you’re gross.”
Neither of them seemed to notice the commotion coming from the campfire outside.
“Yeah, no. It’s you. Definitely you.” Billy nodded affirmatively. “Yeah, you’re super gross.”
“Uh, Billy,” came Mandy’s voice from outside.
“Shut up. Oh my gawd, I’m going to go drink some bleach or something to get that image out of my head. God. Shit. What the hell is wrong with you?” said Penny, her voice turning into a small roar. “Oh my gawd, you are the worst.”
“Seriously, how can you even say that when you’re in my room going through my dirty laundry looking for, what, contraceptives?”
“Those clothes were dirty?”
“Hey, Billy, man, I think—” Layne wasn’t able to finish his sentence.
“Yeah. Gym bag. Haven’t been washed in weeks. Maybe if you smoked less you would be able to smell ‘em.”
“If I smoked less?” shouted Penny. “That’s rich, coming from fucking Shaggy over here. I can’t believe a loser like you is going to try and stand there and give me advice on how to live my life. Jesus, you sound like mom.”
“You’re so gross I bet you think about mom having sex, too.”
“Billy!” said Penny, Layne, and Suzie, simultaneously.