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6 yrs ago
Current Off Hiatus?
7 yrs ago
On Hiatus
7 yrs ago
"Mecha Cowboys" has less than a thousand hits on Google. I've never been more upset.
7 yrs ago
RP Concept: "Screw just the plans, we're stealing the Death Star and taking that baby for a joyride!"
5 likes
8 yrs ago
The VeggieTales theme song has been stuck in my head for at least three days now. Can't decide if it a good or bad thing yet.
6 likes

Bio

Writer of schlock dressed up in some decent clothes.

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@Surtr IncHey, I'm gonna be outta town for the weekend pretending to be a good family member. Unless I'm back early Sunday, I probably won't be able to write anything up until Monday or Tuesday.
Hopefully nobody is going to need medical attention, because the camp nurse...

...just got fired.

I'll just go on ahead and show myself out.


The Campsite - Female Cabins.


Scott’s roar shot through Penny’s head like a piercing migraine, but she did not relent on the makeshift flamethrower. With each step he took towards her she took two back, always ready for the swing, the distant worry of the can exploding in her hands pushed to the back of her mind. Scott’s yelling was drowned out by the blaring of a horn, and from her peripheries she could see the headlight’s of Dexter’s car glowing bright. Good idea. Really wished he would have gone through with it before she had put herself within chopping distance. Her eyes narrowed; her head buzzed. The car was accelerating faster than it should’ve, but if she jumped now—the vehicle flew past her as she dived to the ground, pinning Scott into a tree.

It should’ve killed him.

Her lighter and hairspray disappeared into the tall grass as she ate dirt, her arms and knees catching her fall. Pushing herself up with a curse, she felt her vision momentarily swim. She could see a girl...Claire, right? Claire jogged over to Evel Knievel himself as he tried to stand up after his little stunt that, possibly, probably, most definitely saved Penny’s life. For a moment, Penny’s vision blurred, and it was as if she was witnessing a ghost image of Claire reaching Dexter before it even happened. Rubbing her eyes, Penny helped herself up. She was dirty but, aside from slight dizziness and a few scratches, rather unharmed—disregarding her burnt fingertips and loss of a thirty dollar bottle of hairspray.

“No shit,” she said in response to Zoey, following after the other girls as they made their way back to the female cabins.

Billy had watched the entire encounter through the edge of the blinds on the window. He had wanted to stop his sister from what he had thought would’ve been utter suicide, but something had held him back. Literally, he had seen in the reflection of the window a shadow figure appear from behind him and lock its arms around him; yet instead of freaking out and shouting in fear he had felt an extreme calm come over him, as if he had just taken a hit of some fantastic weed. It told him that everything would be alright and that there was no need for him to do anything. Everything worked itself out in the end. He remained, almost transfixed, it that state of elevation until Penny ripped open the door and held it for Claire and Zoey to drag Dexter inside.

“Is that dude okay?” said Billy, snapping out of his stupor.

Penny ignored his question. His sister leaned against the wall, her eyes tightly closed and a look that he recognized as one of her hiding pain on her face. He had learned lately that if he saw that face the best thing to do was to not ask. It always led to an argument, and getting into a shouting match wasn’t the best idea at the moment. He jumped with the others while the door creaked open, but was hit with a wave a relief as Britney entered and formed an escape plan with the others. His body tensed ever so slightly as they heard the noises from the next cabin over.

“I can get the boats set up,” he suggested. He motioned for his two friends and they made their way out the door.

“Wow. So brave. We should, like, give you a medal or something,” muttered Penny, her eyes still closed. A permanent frown had been fixed on her face since she heard the ruckus that could only mean that Scott Reese was somehow back. Pushing herself off of the wall, she slowly opened her eyes. The world had stopped stuttering. She assumed that whatever chems from the aerosol seemed to no longer be bothering her. Rubbing her wrists, she turned to the other girls.

“I’ll go spread the word. You bitches make sure that your boytoy there,” she nodded towards Dexter, “makes it to the boats in one piece. I still gotta chew him out for almost killing me. And make sure my lousy, piece of shit excuse for a brother doesn’t leave without the rest of us.”

With that she headed out the door and began the short walk to the boy’s cabin. She had no weapon with her. If it was Reese terrorizing the other kids, she doubted that anything she could do would be able to stop a beast capable of surviving a car wreck that would’ve paralyzed anyone else. Spread the word and run, that was the plan. She quickened her pace as she saw two girls, one limping, the other supporting her, exit the cabin, breaking into a light jog to catch up to them.

“The bridge is out. Take her to the boathouse,” said Penny, grabbing Kimberly lightly by the arm. Her eyes snapped to the cabin as she heard the sound of wood being split. As she took off for the door she spun around and shouted behind her, “Spread the word.”



The Campsite - Male Cabins.


He was here. He was here to kill them. The girl she was helping bolted, grabbing her friend and leaving the others behind. Leaving Rita behind. Of course they’d leave her behind. None of them knew her. Even the nice girl—Tuyen—was being dragged away by somebody else. Martin was using himself as bait, and they were letting it happen. They were letting him get himself killed. Rita tried to cry out, tried to react, but she couldn’t do anything. Her legs had turned to jelly and she slumped against the wall, shrinking into herself as she awaited to hear the sound of metal splitting meat.

Instead she heard a thunk and felt someone pull her up off of the ground. She whimpered and peeked out through her fingers that were covering her eyes. A blonde girl in a muddy dress gripping what looked like a splintered, wooden stake began to drag her towards the back door, taking just a moment to whisper “boathouse” into the ear of the man helping Tuyen. Rita allowed herself to be pulled along, the touch of the other woman bringing some strength back to her legs. She leaned against Penny as she felt the fresh air touch her skin; it was only when they had reached the outdoors that Rita realized that the blonde had been whispering to her the entire time.

“...I know it’s scary and it seems impossible, but you fucking got to pull yourself together and make it the rest of the way yourself, okay? You’ve made it this far, and it may not feel like it, but you’re strong, really, you’re strong. You’ll make it there if you head that way for a few minutes. Just keep running and don’t look back, okay. My brother Billy will be there. He’s an idiot and an asshole, but he’ll help you get to safety. After I make sure those two are fine I’ll be right behind you. You got this. Just go.”

Rita nodded, breathed, and went.

Penny watched the mousy girl for a second to make sure she could move on her own. Then, her hand tightening on the splintered piece of door that she had to defend herself, she turned to go back inside to help Min with Tuyen before Reese’s bloodthirst turned towards them. She closed her eyes as she counted to three, and then walked through the threshold—the world buzzing with movement around her.
Wrote up a real shit post the other day that's gonna go into heavy surgery tomorrow.

Or maybe I'll just dump it in a shallow grave and cover it up with an entirely new post. I 'unno.
@Atrophy

TOGETHER, DEXTER AND PENNY GONNA MAKE IT ALRIGHT.

WHAT A DAY. WHAT A LOVELY DAY.


HELL YEAH, WE SPORK NOW BABY!
I'd like to change my abstraction please
powerlisting.wikia.com/wiki/Spoon_Man…


If that's the case, I'm definitely making one of my characters have this abstraction. Then we can finally settle the silverware wars for real.


The Campsite - Male Cabins.


Rita knew that Martin was trying to calm her down and trying to be nice. It didn’t help, obviously, her heart was still racing and her body was still shaking, but she still felt obligated to thank him. To say something nice in return, to pretend that she believed his empty promises so that the others and him wouldn’t worry about her. Her lips parted with a crack, and a voice came out.

“Everything is going to be okay,” she repeated slowly to herself; her eyes casting a look of irritation towards Martin. Her tone was uncommonly bitter. “I knew you were a loser, but I didn’t take you for being a fucking idiot, too.”

Her eyes grew wide and darted back and forth as she covered her mouth with a hand. She had not intended to say something like that; it had just slipped out. Clearly, the pressure must’ve been getting to her, cracking through and poisoning her filter. She forced an apologetic look onto her face and, slowly, as if she was almost fighting to get the words out, tried to set things right.

“I’m...sorry,” she said. Her voice was strained and forced, not unlike that of someone who had been crying, but to her it felt different. Heavier, if that was possible. “I, uh, I didn’t mean it.”

"Hey guys, can ya'll give me a hand?"

Anything to get away from this moment. Rita forced herself to stand up, catching herself against the wall to steady out her shakiness. Yet, despite her confusion on what had just occurred, her mind felt more at ease; she was still terrified, yes, but the panic attack had been kept at bay. If anything, staying next to Martin was more horrifying than getting split like a log. At least with the latter the only person who got hurt was her. Losing her one friend because...she pushed the thought away.

Lightly she stepped into the other room with slow, uncertain movement, making great effort not to look at Martin’s face, before she was on the opposite side of the bedframe from Kimberly. She gave the other girl a nod but did not say anything, worried about what else might slip out from her tightened lips. Grabbing the edge of the frame, she prepared herself to move to it wherever Kimberly was going.







The Campsite - Female Cabins.


“Oh, shit.”

The sound of Billy’s alarmed voice drew Penny to the window. Her desire to cry had been shifted into a quiet fury—she had been thinking about Scott Reese, superdouche extraordinaire, and how the kid would’ve been locked up years ago if daddy hadn’t been the one with the keys. It seemed absolutely unfair, utterly unfair, that he could have gotten away with all of his bullshit while she was hounded by the cops for the slightest infraction. She could still feel the cuffs cutting in to her the last time they had found her out at the mountain. And now, in the shadow of the mountain, Scott Reese was going on a freaking killing spree; somehow, she still felt like his dad could play it off as “boys will be boys”, the prick.

Billy turned away as the axeman split another girl in two with a shudder. He had seen how quickly Scott had moved to catch up to that girl; there was no way they would outrun him, and unless he moved away from the one road off the island there was no way they would sneak past him. His mind began churning for other possibilities—no boats on the docks, but they could possibly swim as long as there was no undead kids in the water waiting to pull them under. Staying put could also work, but with the amount of women Scott was slaying it was only a matter of time before he came to the girl’s cabins to rack up a few more kills. He ruffled his hair. Damn it, he wasn’t an ideas man, he was an opinions man. Why wasn’t anybody else trying to come up with something?

Unbeknownst to her brother, Penny was coming up with an idea. Her stomach knotted as she watched Scott butcher another girl, and her eyebrows knitted into a look of determination. She spun from the window and quickly riffled through the room for her bag, grabbing something out of it before shoving the bag to the side. She patted her leather jacket, feeling the small object in her pocket, before making her way towards the door. She stopped once she felt the handle, in part because Billy had spoken up.

“What the hell are you doing?” he said, the concern in his voice apparent.

“Probably going to get myself killed,” she said, her eyes thin.

“Are you seriously going out there?” said Billy, standing up to stop his sister.

“Better to burn out,” she muttered.

Reese was moving—shit, he had spotted other people. She threw open the door and ran after him. This was a horrible idea; damn near suicidal. But Penny would’ve killed herself anyway if she let herself become yet another bystander, yet another victim, instead of trying to stop a massacre before it became even bloodier. She couldn’t not understand how Billy could just hide and wait for it to all passby. These people here—she could now see Claire and Dexter and whomever else were with them—they weren’t her friends, she didn’t like them, but they were still people. They didn’t deserve to get killed; especially not by Scott Fucking Reese.



The Campsite - The Campfire.
@Surtr Inc@Junkmail@PharaohAtem




She wasn’t built to run—and smoking didn’t help, either—but the adrenaline coursing through her veins was enough to give her the energy she needed to bolt across the field. In her right hand she had grabbed her lighter, a little pink BIC; her left hand was holding the can of hairspray she had snatched from her bag. She’d seen enough videos of people making impromptu flamethrowers to act as pest removal in regards to wasp nests, and what was Scott Reese but one unnaturally giant, grey skinned pest? She was in striking distance now. They both were. Surely he had heard he coming now.

“Hey, dickhead!” she screamed, flicking the lighter and spraying the aerosol. One more orange light appeared that night as flames erupted from the spray, tossing themselves towards Scott’s head. Ideally he would set on fire, although she had her doubts about it. If it at least blinded him, even temporarily, it’d be long enough for the others to get away. A small victory. As she began to torch the giant, Penny felt her eyes begin to strain and focus on his arms, readying herself to dive out of the way the second he moved to swing his axe.
<Snipped quote by pokemad1>

keep talkin like that am imma be tuckin' you into bed with a kiss and a bed time story


Am I the only one whose mind swapped the T in "tuckin'" with an F?




The Campsite - Male Cabins.


This was beyond her. Plans? Rita had a plan to be spontaneous and outgoing, and Claire had shredded it. After that, she didn’t have any plans.

She didn’t even know how she ended up in this cabin, huddled against Martin with her hands pushing back her greasy hair, her heart racing a thousand miles a minute. This was the worst night of her life. She’d go back to Texas. She’d take the embarrassment. Anything, anything would’ve been better than this. She wasn’t built to cope with situations like this. Nobody was built to cope with situations like this. And and and, and the teacher! They could end up like the teacher? Split in two by some murderous monstrosity? Why would someone bring that up? Why would someone suggest that? She could feel her fingers pushing into her skull; her skull that the monster would cleave in two. This was bad, bad, bad.

She needed to calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Think straight, breath, breath, in through the nose, out through the mouths. Panic only begot more panic. Relax. The only way to survive was to relax. Don’t think about the blood—on the axe, on her sweater. Don’t think about the monster—outside, hunting. Don’t think about dying—excruciating, and alone. Don’t think at all, just breath, breath, breath. In, out, in, out, in...better. Okay, now, try and help the others think of a plan. Anything. No such thing as bad ideas. On three. One, Two…

The sound that came out of Rita’s mouth was a mouse-like squeak. She slammed her hand over her mouth and grabbed onto Martin’s arm, her nails digging into his skin. Her chest was heaving; a sweat had begun to break out on her forehead. She bite down on her hand, the pain distracting her from the world around. Ignore everything. That was the answer. Ignore everything and try to calm down. Relax. Relax. Relax. It was easy, just try to relax.

What a fucking laugh.

“Hide. Just hide,” she muttered.




Now. The Campsite - Female Cabins.

“What!?” Billy said, finally raising his voice and spinning around to confront his friends. “It was just a joke. Don’t...be...so...holy.”

It was decently far, but his vision was clear and he wasn’t nearly high enough to be hallucinating something like this. There, by the campfire, was Scott Reese, resident Chad and general buzzkill, doing what he did: ruining the night. Only it wasn’t in his typical format of getting too drunk and trying to fight people, unless he had drank something that made him transform into a goddamn Frankenstein’s monster. But really, the most disconcerting part wasn’t Scott’s display of what happened when someone took too many steroids, but the part where he was ripping an axe out of his philosophy professor’s skull.

Actually, nah, all of it was pretty fucked up.

He grabbed Suzie and Layne and pulled them inside the cabin, shutting the door and killing the lights. He motioned for them to get down, which all but Penny, who had not seen the attack, did. His sister, however, was not ready to end their argument. She stood defiantly with her hands on her hips and a sneer on her face.

“What the hell are you doing?” she asked.

“Penny, shut the hell up and get away from the windows,” said Billy, his normal tone replaced with one that was both alarmed and commanding. He scuttled around the floor and dropped the blinds of all of the windows; Penny, who was never used to seeing her brother be serious, realized how he wasn’t screwing around and haunched down on her heels.

“What’s happening?” she whispered.

“I think Scott Reese just fucking killed someone,” said Billy in a hushed tone.

“What?” Penny scouted over to the window and peered through the blinds. Her eyes grew wide and she pressed her back up against the wall. “Holy fucking shit, I knew that kid was nuts.”

“We should call the cops,” said Billy. Billy pulled out his cell; it lacked bars, but maybe there was still a chance the call would go through. Of course, it failed. Gotta love rural America.

“They’d just end up helping him anyway,” muttered Penny bitterly. Billy could hear what sounded like music being played; Penny’s eyes snapped to the window, but she didn’t move to look.“Now what’s happening?”

Shifting towards his sister, Billy peered through the blinds. “A girl’s trying to catch his attention.”

“And what, lead him away like the fucking Pied Piper?” said Penny through her teeth, letting her head fall back against the wall. “I hate this town.”

“We’ll wait until he passes and then make a break for it,” said Billy, keeping one eye peering out the window. “Keep low, keep quiet, stay outta the light. Get to a place where we can call the cops.”

“I hate this town, I hate this town, I hate this town,” said Penny, a mantra to try and keep herself calm as she gripped the bridge of her nose and tried not to cry.
@Surtr IncI'm sure I broke something in here somewhere.




And if anyone was wondering, the concert was great. Even if the seats were about as comfortable as sitting on a knife, the beer I got at a bar afterwards was nine dollars, and the opener was just one guy breaking a guitar while some lady played a saxophone in a way that mimicked music class on the day they give everybody recorders.
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