Recent Statuses

27 May 2017 14:29
Current I come on to six notifications and I'm like "OMG! I'm popular!!!" Then I realize its just the new notification feature and non of the posts had anything to do with me. -_-'
1 like
26 May 2017 17:08
My best friends graduated today, and are off to collage. I'm going to miss them.
22 May 2017 13:31
19 May 2017 18:26
I understand why the whole orphan story is popular for characters, but it is my personal experience that have family lends its own unique challenges and provides many ways a character can grow.
15 May 2017 4:07
There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.


― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

Hello lurker/ My old friend/ I've come to talk to you again/ Because a shadow softly creeping/ Lurking in the chat while I was sleeping/ And the roleplay that was forming in my brain/ Still remains with the sound of lurking.

In dead roleplays I walked alone/ Narrow pathways of casual zone...

Need mor ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

(Made in collaboration with @hatakekuro)

Arena Stats

0 Wins / 0 Losses / 0 Draws
1000 points

Most Recent Posts

So what is going on in the rp? Any suggestions on how to introduce my character into what is going on?

We just had a two month(?) time skip from the gmg so you are basically free to start anywhere. A bit daunting I know.
In 1916 everyone in the world decided to start killing each other for no real reason

I mean...thats a pretty accurate summarization of the clusterfuck that was World War I
So to clarify, you are only accepting one character of each elemental alignment?

Which would make fulgur and malum off limits?


You can reuse your old character(s) if you want. Don't have to though, its just an option.

Also, in your strengths section its 'submerged' instead of 'emerged'

I'll hold off on further critique until Caits or Zarkoon-sama gives the okay.

But I will say that its not bad. You just need to work on sentence structure and flow of thought.



Tatoo magic: Do you mean the tattoo spontaneously appear on him or he has to write/draw them? The way you word it, it sounds like the former.

Rune magic: Better.

Imperial Eye:

This part is all personal thoughts. Its not a huge issue, and maybe I'm overstepping here. Its more food for thought then anything else.

Anyway, If I may split hairs here, the ability to decern whether someone is guilty or not is vague statement. What if they feel guily bit arn't? What if they think they are guilty but really aren't? What are determines the question that asks they are they guilty of? Could he say "Are they guilty of lying?" Look into their eyes, and get an answer. Basically turning him into a walking lie dector. Which I would say is an ability too great for a player, but that is up to te GMs, because canonically, there was a magic item that basically was a lie detector.

Overall, you probably could combine the tattoo magic with the rune magic, and just call it that, since the difference between them is moot.

History: Again, much better, they gave you some good advice and I'm glad to see you took it into account.

I'm curious as to where this divine power came from, but that is something you should wait to reveal later in the IC.


I still see some problems with the personality trait of 'with little regard for the consequences of his actions.' as I, and others here, have had bad experiences in the past with characters like that. (Destroying a heavily populated city? I think you guys know what event I'm referring to.)

I ask you to think carefully about any sudden and/or irrational actions he may do in the future. Not saying you can't, just make sure there are proportional consequences, and possibly clear it here first.

I also still object to his very anarchist personality, on the basis that he is trying to topple a kingdom in an already chaotic time for mages. But, if @Caits and @Zarkun are okay with it, I have no problem.

Overall, though, its a much better sheet. I'd like to really apologize for and appreciate that you took my somewhat blunt and mocking criticism exceptionally well.
I'll look at the edit when I have some time to sit down and think, promise.
@Crimson Raven...That...could have been gentler...

It could have been harsher.

I really was attempting to be gentler, but still stern.

Okay, my thoughts are as follows.

Firstly. He is 17. 17

With mastery of three unique and powerful magics, and "Possessing a prodigious knowledge of all known runic languages and then some".

Learing anything takes time, lots and lots of time. Even if he was taught from a young age, there would not be enough time for him to effectively learn even more then a single magic.

The Unicorn blood. Look, with all the other stuff he has going on here, the implications of him possesing something like that is enormous. It also doesn't fit with his personality. Pure of heart? No.

The Rune mastery. First part aside, the way you have written it, is too damn powerful. Blocking medium grade magic on a whim? You are basically saying he is invincible to all but the most devastating of spells. But with preplanning he can block a spell like Abyss Break? Hell no. Abyss Break is on par with Fairy Law, which is in turn, on par with Etherion (you know, the satellite square capable of destroying cities or even countries?) in complexity and power.

Teleportation (a-la flying raijin jutsu straight outa Naruto) the problem with this is it is already an extremely powerful ability in the right hands, and you have just added it on to his kit like it's nothing. Instant teleportation. Let that sink in.

Zarkoon-sama summed up my thoughts on Imperial Eye pretty well.

And did I mention that all this magic and power is in hands of a "impulsive and overconfident" 17 year old anti hero "with little regard for the consequences of his actions" who is trying to topple a kingdom?

...oh, and where the hell did he get Ea from?

To clarify what Caits said, she has explicitly decided that she will not be accepting S class wizards right off the bat.

The backstory, the most important part to me, is passible by canon standards, but it has a few problems bynthe RP. Firstly, his family would have been hunted not long ago in what is basically the salem witch trials, the inquisition, and the crusades all wrapped in a lovely ball. Yet there is no mention or adressing of this. Even practicing his magic should have drawn unwanted attention. And that's just the start. Don't get me started on demolition an entire stronghold with magic.

Considering all the tension between mages and non mages at this point (especially after the arc we just went through, but you had no way of knowing about that, so I don't hold it against you) an act like that would have gotten him hunted down and arrested for sure.

To sum it up, your character is far too young to be so powerful, his backstroy needs some fleshing out, and his personality is one step from a full out homicidal anarchist villain. yeah.

Oooo boi.


I'm staying away. Promise.
© 2007-2017
BBCode Cheatsheet