Doc Doctor

Peach Feast In The Jade Emperor's Palace

@LeeRoy

"HRAH!! Fine hike that was! What be this, a festival?"

Gonad clambered into the courtyard, soaked in sweat. He jogged past a lounging goddess, casually yoinking her toga right off her body and toweling off with it. She blushed and looked away, refusing to meet the eyes of her fuming god-husband who just so happened to be both bald and beardless.
Gonad waddled up to a table, flossing with the toga to dry his loins. It made squeaky noises. He seized a hoblet of wine and cocked his head back, downing the sucker whilst tossing the toga over a shoulder and into the nude goddess's lap.

"Now that thirst of Gonad is quenched, Gonad must drop ballast! If not, never will Gonad reach village for dinner with wives next month."

He picked up a peach, examining it.

"A girly fruit! Gonad needs PROTEIN!"

In a bound he was on the table, platters clattering, wine spilling, and peaches tumbling, his tassets and loincloth around his ankles. He kicked them off the table and squatted down resolutely.

Silence

Then...

A concerned grunt, strained at the end. Thighs tensed, Gonad began to strain.

Some stared in utter bafflement. Others squeezed their eyes shut and looked away. It started with a raw, dumpy fart, one that stank like rancid eggs. A great looping coil of rich brown poo decorated the peaches like tinsel on a Christmas tree, spindling into a fat pile of fudge. Gonad cast his eye up to the heavens, a single vein throbbing between his eyes, face slowly turning red from the effort. A space in the clouds opened, and as if by divine intention a ray of bright sunlight fell upon him like a spotlight.
"Grrruuuhaaawwww!"
A thick malodour packed the air, pressing in on everyone's sinus cavities like an encroaching wall of stench. It just kept churning out. Flecks of shit suddenly shotgunned out of the barbarian's ass to the accompaniment of a sharp bout of stuttering flatulence, dung-speckling the fruits of the gods. Gonad groaned and took a step forwards, the tendons in his neck straining as a colossal log emerged from his recrum. It plowed directly onto a single, solitary peach, velvety and pure...

The peach was squashed unceremoniously with a table shaking thud, the doorstopper turd reducing it to a pulp under a pile.

"Now Gonad can make good time!"

He was mindblowingly oblivious to the company he was in.

PARALYSED- BloodyRed Vs. Doc

@BloodyRed

The elbow strike could have caused damage if Kull's arm had remained straight. He released Red's nose to partially bend his elbow, the blow bopping his arm up a couple inches with a meaty thud. Suddenly, Red was gripping Kull's forearm and seeking an armlock.
Kull's eyes briefly widened in surprise and Red took his half-step, casting out his hard-trained technique with confidence.
*KRIK*
With a grimace of distaste Kull twisted his left hand palm up in his opponent's grip, exposing Red's thumb on the underside of his forearm. Applying his full set of industrial strength fingers to the task of curtly and efficiently freeing himself, Kull's right hand darted out to sieze his opponent's thumb in a beefy fist and wrench it backwards, hard and fast.

It was obvious that stocky fighters with thick necks and compact frames made for great grapplers. Their low center of gravity and strong, short limbs afforded a lot of leverage. In a real fight that meant a lot more, especially once they got past the reach of a taller opponent. It meant anything that could be grabbed could be destroyed. It appeared that this concept constituted a considerable portion of Kull's style.

The Cap'n didn't take his eyes off Red, ready for a sudden reaction. In his experience most fighters lost their wits as soon as a few bones got broken. They'd react spontaneously, aggressively, carelessly, but Red seemed to have true focus in combat.
That was just as well, for although Kull had an impudent tongue he wasn't so impolite as to hold back in a fight.

PARALYSED- BloodyRed Vs. Doc

@BloodyRed

The way Red studied Kull as a whole made it clear that he wanted to keep tabs on Kull's core movements to better react to attacks. Noting this, Kull took advantage of how his opponent was willing to wait ten seconds to respond to the nose boop. A scant moment after the boop Kull sought to sieze Red's nose between his thumb and the second knuckle of his index finger, twisting it to the side with such gusto that it would easily snap cartilage. It'd feel like having a body part caught in a garage clamp. The sudden sharp pain might force Red onto the tips of his toes as well, making his eyes water and compromising his sight.

"The fight's started already, bunglicker!"

Red wouldn't have the full ten seconds to perform his tendon punch, but the scrap had only just begun. Kull was anticipating that his opponent might try to grab his hand or fingers in reaction to having his nose twisted in half, but that didn't detract from his focus. He knew by experience that many fearsome techniques could emanate from any opponent at any time.
This was the kind of fight where hesitation wasn't a factor. Every second mattered just as much as every move.

PARALYSED- BloodyRed Vs. Doc

@BloodyRed

An excited tremble visibly ran through Kull's stout frame like an electric current, head snapping abruptly to the side with a crack before he seemed to physically shift into a lower gear, sinewy bulk settling lazily onto his bones.

"Ha! Sure! Vale Tudo, huh?!"

He fully extended his left arm, fingers splayed towards his opponent's face, and walked forwards into reach. If Red just stood there, Kull would keep advancing until his middle finger prodded the tip of fella's nose. Heel-toe, heel-toe, Kull moved steadily and smoothly, shifting his weight forwards only when each step was secured.

"Do whatever the hell you want, you DUMPY GINGERBEARD. I bet you've been waiting ages for a chance to go all out!"

PARALYSED- BloodyRed Vs. Doc

@BloodyRed

I spelled 'martial' wrong in my profile. It looks like 'martual' as I type this. As a perfectionist I must fix. Just so you know the reason for the profile edit.

PARALYSED- BloodyRed Vs. Doc

@BloodyRed

The door slammed shut behind Kull as he followed his new buddy into the alley behind the bar. He wore clean pressed jeans with a black leather belt and black leather boots. His white wifebeater was halfway tucked and had several holes worn through it. No doubt he could tear out of the old, straining shirt with a good flex. He looked like an incredible asshole.
He'd stop six feet away from his opponent, smirking down the middle of the alley, thumbs hooked nonchalantly in his belt.

"You were right, this is a good spot. There's no bell or 'ready go', so..."

PARALYSED- BloodyRed Vs. Doc

@BloodyRed

Perfecto. I'm in the mood to use Kull, so I'll adjust him to the setting. You may post your sheet and I'll create the intro.

PARALYSED- BloodyRed Vs. Doc

Unarmed, alternate reality 'modern' Kull. Same personality, same body, but lives in the present as a modern man.

Captain Kull

Captain Arlgor Kull

Name: Arlgor Kull
Aliases: Cap'n Kull
Titles: Captain of the Crimson Guard
Age: 36
Gender: Male

Physical Attributes

Build: 5'7", 172 pounds, heavily muscled
Reach: 71.0 in (180 cm)
Eyes: Steely gray, overshadowed by sardonic eyebrows.
Hair: A black widow's peak, combed back
Skin Tone: Pale
Dominant Hand: Right
Tattoos/Scars/Piercings: Kull's eyes and mouth have distinct scarring from fistfights, permanent cauliflower ears, several white notches crisscross his chest and arms, presumably left by various bladed weapons. His right forearm is encircled by several deep tissue scars, from when he shoved his hand down a lion's esophagus.

Day To Day Attire: A full set of bronze armor (faceless helmet, pauldrons, breastplate, armguards, gauntlets, greaves, the works), a maroon cloak emblazoned with the insignia of a black bull, a fifty-one inch, seven pound double headed greataxe (each blade is a foot long and eight inches wide at the taper), a with chili powder in the scabbard worn on his right flank, a pair of gauche daggers with seven inch blades at his waist, a pair strapped to his calves, and one on each flank. Six daggers in all. He's very fond of wearing crimson war paint, in tiger stripes across his face.


Overall length: 42" (106 cm)
Blade length: 35.25" (89.5 cm)
Blade width (at bell): 1.375"
CoB: 3.75" from Guard (9.53 cm)
CoP: 23" from Guard (58.4 cm)
Weight: 2.75 lbs (1.25 kilos)

*The last ten inches of the false edge are razor sharp, and the reinforced steel scabbard has a serrated blade at the end.



Abilities: Kull is a physical powerhouse, able to bench 500 and kick through cinderblock with his reinforced greaves. He once killed a lion with asphyxiation by ramming his fist down its windpipe. He has the reflexes and studied devotion to bodily mechanics of a martial arts expert, along with nearly three decades of experience as a manslayer.

Personality: Kull is an abrasive, overwhelming, and incredibly intense man who has no concept of what an indoor voice is and no off-button. He's of a wild, brave nature, meeting every challenge in the only way he knows how; by beating it down with his axe and/or screaming profanity at it. He's quite creative in his lunatic insults, but it's rarely personal. It serves as a psychological aid and weapon for Kull, enabling him to work himself into a war frenzy while intimidating his opposition. As a professional warrior and captain of the guard (he was a former mercenary as well), he lives solely to hone his skills in combat, and to help mold an environment free of scum. He's drastically impatient and highly critical, despising any course of action short of stalking right up to the bad guy and strangling him.

Despite his faults, though, Kull is truly a good man at heart. Sometimes good guys don't wear white and act nice, after all. He strives to make the lives of innocent people better, and is more than willing to sacrifice himself to a noble cause. His loyalty is undying, for all his lack of social skills. He knows how to have a good time, and can be surprisingly understanding at times. He tends to be greedy, not much for sharing food nor glory, but he's always more than willing to share (profanity laced) encouragement and advice. When it comes to animals, he seems to have a soft spot. Kull gets along well with most creatures, until he kills and eats them for protein. Hey, a man's gotta eat!

Habits: Kull tends to shudder, jerk or twitch with frenetic energy whenever he feels like he's about to get a chance to fight. He often tosses around loud, creative expletives, especially during combat.

Childhood: Kull went through the old Spartan glut, you know. Training as soon as he was of age, fighting wild animals bare-handed, killing men on a battlefield when he was a teen. Sure, there are some nice old stories of his feats and adventures, but he's not here to tell history. He's here to make it.

Adulthood: Served as a mercenary for several years, and then joined up with the Empire of the Crimson Throne. He helped them win a critical battle and was thus promoted to Captain. He'd conked a fuck-ton of baddies, got hitched with a woman as crazy as he was, you get the idea. He never had any silly dramatized moments, no whiny tears in the rain. He never even had any rivals, or a nemesis. Whenever an enemy jumped up, Kull simply knocked them back down. Needless to say, he's very good at his job.

Theme Song:

PARALYSED- BloodyRed Vs. Doc

Heya buddy!
@BloodyRed

Go ahead and pick which of my characters you feel best matched against. You may skip Gonad, The Magna Pater, Auz, and Kentucky Tom. They're not the right tier. The others may be from different time periods but that's no prob. I shall remove their weapons and equipment for the fight.
We can roll with whatever setting you like, if you want upload an image of a place to scrap.

For reference, 'peak human' means they could match a world record or rival the greatest living humans in their areas of expertise.

Donny is athletic human in all of his physical abilities, has peak human intellegence in regards to fight I.Q.

Zande is athletic human in static strength, has good reach, lots of dynamic power, and peak human running speed and jaw strength.

Kull is athletic human, with lots of face-to-face combat experience and high static strength like a classic strongman. Never skips leg day.

Catskull is pure heavyweight, athletic and skilled enough to get a title fight in modern times.

roleplayerguild.com/topics/87852-docs…

@BloodyRed

Lets have a hellish battle

@Soldier

I dunno what tiers you prefer, but I'm at my best in low powered, peak human, and human tier. Ganking isn't my style, so I'd be up for a 1v1!