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souleaterfan320
Nimda
Audacious<Snipped quote by Host>
How?
I have no way to say what will work for you. It's something you have to work through inside.
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Misty Skies
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I have no way to say what will work for you. It's something you have to work through inside.
<Snipped quote by Host>
Do I? Sometimes I don’t know. It’s like life teases me. “Oh, if you’d have just sucked it up and been there like you should have, you could’ve saved them!” I just... I hate it all. More than anything else.
You've got to distance yourself from what you feel is your responsibility. You are more than the sum of your parts.
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I do hate it. And I hate power, especially mine. I’d feel better about it if I didn’t have it, but because I do, it’s just another layer to my guilt... Like, I could have been there and actually made a difference whenever someone I cared about was hurt. I could have atopped it from happening. But I hate that those situations happen to begin with.
*Leans against the wall and slumps down, so that I’m sitting against it*
It’s part of my mental conundrum.
*Sits down in front of you*
It's a part of you. And you're totally justified to dislike that part of yourself. You have no obligation to use it.
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*Looks down and away again, rubbing my arm*
You've made it clear that the danger aspect of Existence isn't for you. That's perfectly fine and you shouldn't be ashamed of it.
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But what if I could have done something, if I wasn’t such a coward?
Do you think of yourself as a coward?
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No. I hate the thought of going away and coming back to learn that something happened years ago, and I wasn’t there.
Someone could just come and get you if something happens?
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... What?
Hypersleep or going into a dimension with an extremely slow rate of time flow. Someone can come and get you or you can set a timer.
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*Sighs*
It’s hard to be optimistic. It goes against personal history. But I don’t have a choice, because I don’t know what I’d do if I had to go through that again. Sometimes I even catch myself preemptively convincing myself of the worst.
Have you considered trying to "fast-forward" through time so you don't have to wait?
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That’s old news. Any updates? A lot can happen in that much time. Especially when their fates are all in the hands of someone who’d just as easily get on with them out of the way, and has proven himself to have the capacity to do that to... Countless people.
No updates from me. I just made a backup.
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Hear what?
It's possible that none of them are dead. Techi found that they're locked in some kind of alternate dimension thing created by Nemid's inferiors.
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