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Reluctantly retired roleplayer.

Except when I'm not.

Why are you here when you should be writing posts?

You can edit a bad draft, but you cannot edit a blank page.

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@Lord Wraith

Hey thanks for taking a look at it.
I have toned down her powers and edited to what you suggested with the two-storey residential home!


Thanks! Feel free to move the sheet to the Character Tab and post in the IC at your earliest convenience.
@Altered Tundra No, you should be good to post a sheet next week. Looking forward to seeing what you've got cooking up.
Superhuman Ability | Energy Manipulation Sabrina possesses the ability to shape and manipulate energy from her body of varying degrees. At lower levels, she can expel energy sending a car flying away, crushing enemies against them. At higher power levels, she was able to level an entire scrapyard blowing up a large crater in the ground with a kinetic supernova. Sabrina can infuse the kinetic energy she harnesses with her physical combat to produce a potentially explosive combination. She can also use her powers in conjunction with a full body charge to attack strong opponents she is not able to defeat conventionally.

She can also use her explosive powers to cause an explosion capable of launching herself high into the air or forward into superspeed levels. She is also able to control the kinetic force spectrum, and energy field of her explosions, allowing her to create a concussive force field to shield her or others in event of an attack from projectiles or explosions.


Overall it's a very well done sheet I'd just like to lower her limits some. The tone of the RP is aiming to be something more in line with Marvel's Netflix offerings and so perhaps instead of leveling an entire scrapyard, we could bring that down to a small building such as a one or two-story residential home. Other than that, I like the sheet and her powers!
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The latter, but the alien origin was the main thing separating him from being too similar to JunkMail's character, who is also a big monster.


Right, I can see how that could also be a problem. The RP has a lot of brawlers, so that entire archetype isn't really to be encouraged at the moment. Did you have any ideas for something like an elemental user or something more based on ranged or energy attacks?
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A teenage character undergoing a transformation into some sort of alien monster.


Was it a symbiotic/parasitic relationship like Star Lord's sheet or was it more of a 'they had always been an alien, just weren't aware of it' deal. The latter could be quite different and even similar origins can come across as completely different characters provided their abilities, personalities and backstories have enough variance.
Hmm that basically poaches my alien thing I wanted to do. Kind of out of ideas at this point.


What was your alien idea?
@Star Lord Accepted.
I believe the below is our current roster, there's a couple I'm not sure on as we haven't heard from them in awhile.

Black Panther / T'Challa
Star Lord
Blue Beetle / Jaime Reyes
Superboy
Captain America / Steve Rogers
Eddie Brock
Doctor Fate / Kent Nelson
Korack
The Flash / Iris West
Sep
The Huntress / Helena Bertinelli
Inkarnate
Iron Fist / Daniel Rand
webboysurf
Moon Knight / Marc Spector
Hound55
Ms. Marvel / Carol Danvers
IceHeart
Reed Richards / Susan Storm / Johnny Storm / Ben Grimm
Morden Man
Spider-Woman / Gwen Stacy
HenryJonesJr
Superman / Clark Kent
AndyC
King Thor / Blake Donaldson
Lord Wraith
The Wasp / Janet Van Dyne
Pirouette
Vigilante / Greg Saunders / The Spirit Of Vengeance
DocTachyon


Currently trying to figure out a way to reset Thor's status quo as I'm not entirely happy with what I've done in Season 2 (honestly been tempted to wipe the IC, salvage what I did like and 'reboot' my season), so I've been thinking of ways to reignite and reinvent my storyline. But either way, there's more than enough people here to keep us going, sorry I haven't been pulling my weight guys. Will aim to change that over the weekend.
Time Alteration | Lio Woods can manipulate time to specific extents. He can give someone more time to act or move faster than normal, take some of their time to make them act or move slower than normal, or completely trap them all in time. That sounds cool and maybe even overpowered, right? That's because the devil is in the details. Most people often skim that part. They see something cool, it's most definitely cool. No one takes the time to properly go through things anymore. With this ability, Kingston? can give them that time. Lio's ability is actually three parts of the same whole: (A) he can give people increased speed, acceleration, agility, and even velocity; (B) he can slow time for up to six targets within a 40-foot-cube range, making them move and act slower than normal, almost half of their ordinary speed, and therefore unable to react effectively; and (C) he can briefly stop the flow of time for everyone but himself. His ability is not without limitations, though, and boy are they very limiting.


I'm very confused about your chosen application for Lio's abilities. To me, a lot of this reads as though you wanted Lio to have time alteration because it's your favourite power, your user title after all is Time Mage, so it's obviously something you gravitate towards. But everything Lio can do, could be done by a Speedster. It doesn't particularly make sense to call it time alteration as the only time he seems to be alterting is how fast a person can move from Point A to Point B, which again feels like it could be made a whole lot easier with a form of super speed. You further say he can give someone agility but this is neither explained nor elaborated upon, the same goes for acceleration. I understand that by speeding up time, Lio can make some move faster from one point to another but is there now momentum added when he does so to account for the increase in acceleration? I should also point out that in the given context, speed and velocity mean the same thing and you don't need to mention both.

I just feel as though this ability section spends too much time assuring the reader that Lio is not overpowered, (the complete opposite of his personality section which reads as though Lio is better than you) and not enough time clearly explaining his abilities. As a whole, I'm generally wary of players who choose Chronokinesis and evidently, you're aware of this stigma, but I don't feel like this a good attempt at it. In all of media, the character of Hiro Nakamura is probably the best example of a time manipulator, using his abilities to fold time and space as a teleporter, slowing time to a crawl around himself or jumping forward and backward through time. But doing so in this RP would require a lot of cooperation from our players, too much to the point where plots would be hinged entirely on your character and we can't have that unfortunately.

Limitation(s) | Although his ability is believed to be limitless, Lio isn't actually that well-versed in its many and varied applications, owing to his own fears of losing his very existence in time if he overexerts his control over its domain. That said,Lio's range is very limited. Hastening or slowing time requires Lio to see his target(s). He may be able to slow time for up to six targets but they all have to be within a 40-foot-cube range. Both hastening and slowing time also only lasts for a minute. A hastened target is immediately unable to move as a wave of lethargy sweeps over them. The target may even die.

Stopping time completely affects everyone but himself, which means no time passes for anyone but himself, allowing him to act and move normally while everyone else is stuck in place without being aware of that fact. It's cool but also lonely and very dangerous. Time will immediately resume if (A) Lio comes into any form of contact, whether deliberate or not, with another being or any object worn or carried by another being; or (B) Lio moves more than 1,000 feet from where he originally stopped time. Because of the amount of energy it takes to stop time, Lio can barely use this ability for a whole minute.

The amount of time he can alter is dependent on the amount of sleep he gets, with each hour of sleep equivalent to one minute of time he can alter the next day. That means that if Lio slept a full five hours the night before, he will be able to alter a total of five minutes the next day. That means he can hasten or slow time five times that day. This is because his ability consumes his own save energy, the potential he has stored from resting. Using his ability too much will exhaust him and may even lead to fainting on the spot or even death. Lio has experienced reactive hypoglycemia (sugar crash) when he hastened too much time slightly. If he's exhausted, his abilities may even fail to work.

Lio cannot and will not even attempt to travel back or forward in time. It's too problematic and he doesn't even know or want to know if he can actually do that.


So again, you've begun your limitations by assuring the reader that Lio isn't overpowered, except in doing so you've actually done the opposite. What you've written states that Lio is his own roadblock and essentially with experience he will be limitless in power. This is very concerning for me and no doubt other players who will read your sheet. Aside from this statement, the rest of the limitations are well done.

Weakness(es) | Knocking Lio out is the most effective way to render his ability null right then and there. He needs to concentrate and use up energy for his ability to work. Taking his concentration and disrupting his energy flow is a surefire way to have him use his ability. Anyone who can sense beyond the normal may also quickly realize Lio's using his abilities given their apt perception but still won't be able to resist the effects of time alteration if currently in place. Because his ability is reliant on energy, it is possible for anyone who can control their own energy to challenge Lio's time alteration and force themselves out of his control.


I don't quite understand the sentence highlighted in red, did you mean to say that breaking his concentration or disrupting his energy flow is a surefire way to prevent the use of his ability? Outside of that, his weaknesses are fine but overall I can't accept this character as it is currently written. I'd really like to see either the application of Lio ability changed and brought more in line with a traditional time manipulator or his ability completely swapped out. The problem with the former suggestion is to ensure playability and compatibility with other players and time manipulation makes that very difficult, his abilities either need to be related to self or severely toned down. The easier path in my opinion would be to go with another ability that would allow you to replicate your desired effects without directly influencing time.

Ultimately this is your choice though and I will do my best to work with you on this to ensure that Lio is still the character you want to play.
I’m cooking up a character rn. Hope to get them done in at least a few days : D


Curious to see what you've got cooking up.
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