<Snipped quote by Efficacy>
Away from home on phone so wasn't but will try.
<Snipped quote by Meta>
Just write like a list of instructions I can send him. He wants to go in 1000.
1. Make account on coinbase.com/?locale=en-US
2. Buy LTC (Litecoin) with USD (or buy BTC—I don't know if coinbase allows you to buy LTC directly)
2.5. If you bought BTC, convert it to LTC on the exchange
3. Make an account on binance.com/?ref=10991960 (be sure to copy/paste the URL exactly instead of just going to the site through Google)
4. Go to the "Funds" -> "Deposits Withdraws" category on Binance
5. Search for LTC and click the "Deposit" button. Copy the address that appears
6. Go to Coinbase and withdraw your LTC. When it asks for the address to withdraw it to, paste the one from Binance
7. Go to the Binance Exchange and convert LTC to BTC
8. Switch to the IOTA/BTC trader and trade all of your BTC to IOTA
9. Wait for wealth
10. ????
11. Profit
WARNING: Don't do anything, especially in the deposit/withdraw steps before you are sure. Always ask if you need clarification. Start with $1.00 or so to ensure you understand all the steps properly before going all in on it. IF YOU SEND YOUR COINS TO A WRONG ADDRESS, YOUR MONEY WILL BE LOST FOREVER!
Good luck and happy wojaks.