POOHEAD189

This isn't working out: Part 2

I've unfortunately had the pleasure of getting to know some authors of potential books I had previously wanted to read, thanks to using twitter. My first example is any book by Myke Cole. He presents himself as an historian and a feminist, but he's a terrible historian, he is pretty mean, and as for feminist, he's had some sexual allegations come up about him which got him dropped from Grimdark Magazine. I suppose if I walked into someone's home and saw a Myke Cole book on their shelf I wouldn't retch, but if I saw my date currently engrossed in a book of his, no thanks.

This isn't working out

@Odin You said you'd like to meet someone who enjoyed the Hobbit. The sarcasm bit was for your previous statement unless I was mistaken, and I assumed the sarcasm was at the gatekeeping comment and not the fact you enjoyed Children of Hurin. Also why would you find Turin both boring and your fave character? Usually if a character bores me that's a no go.

Also while Tolkien is the 'father' of modern fantasy, his characters are not high octane action heroes like most characters in fantasy today so I can definitely see why his prose might bore a few people.

This isn't working out: Part 2

So, you're on your first date. No, you're on your second date. The first one went pretty well. They're funny, they have a nice job, they drive a prius (spicy~) and they take you back to their place. Only when you walk in, you see on their living room table, a book. And not just any book. A book by that author.

You know that this relationship just won't work, and you leave immediately. What author is it and why?

Bonus points if it's a certain book too.

WoT: The Dark One's Own Luck.

"We can't just leave! They'll think we did it, or that I did it!" He said, heart racing. He had been in control earlier, but now that he was faced with the consequences, he felt himself a bit panicked. He wanted to wait and tell the truth, but he knew telling them he was being chased by Darkfriends and Mave was an Aes Sedai was the last thing that would absolve him in the villager's eyes. The two rivers youth dropped his head. His next words were quiet, hoping desperately she would believe. Hoping he would convince himself as well. "I'm not a murderer, Mave."

"I know," She said, placing a hand on his cheek. "But we don't have time. We have to go now."

"Light, what's going on?" A voice was heard in some room down the corridor. More whispered seeped out of the doors, but to Ali they erupted in his ears. As one, he and Mave headed towards the door, though Mave came up short with a shocked expression on her face. "My things!"

"Leave them!" He said, now fully committed to fleeing.

"I can't, Ali." She confessed, and whether or not she was exaggerating, he didn't wait to find out. From the hallway they heard a gasp, followed by a scream that pierced their ears even across the room. With some digging the townsfolk might notice the knife was in Darius's own hands, but at the moment they were liable to react to anything. Quickly Ali grabbed Mave's hand and pulled her out the door, closing it quietly behind them. For a moment, Ali thought of sneaking back in through the windows and acting like they were asleep, but the girl Mave had shared a room with would have noticed her gone.

"We need to decide now." He told her once they were off the porch. The night air was cool and crisp to the touch, and the moon leered over them like a waiting spectre. It made Ali feel exposed. "We can sneak in through the window and grab your things before we go, or make some excuse up as to where we were. We uh...we could say we wanted some private time of our own in the barn."

As if on cue, raised voices could be heard inside. Feet were stamping closer to the door just beside them, and something along the lines of 'I think they're out here!' sounded from the otherside of the door. Ali's normally ruddy face paled.

"Bloody Ashes, ok let's just sneak back in and grab your things." He told her, and less than half an hour later, the two were tramping out of town with nothing but their supplies, a few blankets, and one horse.

Gold & Glory: AU thread

Markus had half a mind to have them hit the Sea Drake with all they had to end it right now. They couldn't face her openly, but they might try to outmaneuver her. Hit it with a broadside while it tried to turn about. If they took out its mainmast it might crumble. Even with her superior numbers, Markus was fairly confident they could beat her if they boarded. But even as he tried to rationalize how good of an idea this was, he knew he was making it simply because he was frustrated. He wasn't used to letting rivals who wished him dead, live.

Emmaline and Morgan could see him hesitating, something he never let even the crew see. The woman placed a hand on his arm gently.

"We'll go south and try to grab the wind." He said not a second later. "Get the gun crews at the ready, Morgan and set the crew to head south along the coast. Em, see if you can buy some time in some way, or at least do some damage to that bastard's ship or..." He stopped short, remembering Emmaline's magical specialty. He pulled her aside as Morgan began shouting orders.

In the distance, the Sea Drake moved with increasing speed. They couldn't hear or see anyone on deck yet, but it would only be a few minutes before they were in range of their cannons. Markus doubted it, but he sincerely hoped their ship did not also have a wizard of their own. Emmaline was talented with what she knew, but she would be the first to admit she wasn't a battle mage. Even if she very much looked like a powerful sorceress in her new attire.

"Can you make our cannonballs have a bit of more impact? Can you make them acidic in some fashion or combustible?" He asked her once they were out of ear shot. It had to be quick so he could take the helm, but before she could answer, a big hand poked his upper back with a fat finger. Markus could smell ale and sweat, and he turned to see Sketti Hammerhand there, and two men holding casks of something strange just behind him. Casks that were vaguely smoking, wafting steam through small minute holes atop them. Markus gave him a questioning look.

"Captain!" The Dwarf declared proudly, holding up a casket of his own with one hand, impressed as ever with Dwarfen strength. "I think I can help ye bring up the fog of war, as it were. That is, if you're planning on escapin'."

His wink did not reassure the captain, but what choice did he have?

This isn't working out

Im kind of glad so many people are not in the YA fandom. YA books are read a lot by adults and sell really well in the market strangely enough, and I wouldnt ever write one myself.

Monkeys and Typewriters

Honestly I've never seen art created by a machine that didn't look fairly bland. I do think there is a very human element to art that can't be replicated, at least not yet. Maybe it never can be. People tend to think that machines will always have this sort of exponential growth, but the truth is we just haven't found the limit yet. And as far as the arts go, they're very far behind. Even if an advanced machine wrote a novel, I doubt the dialogue would be much better than the Sword of Truth series :P

This isn't working out

More seriously though, does anyone really have a single favorite book? I can probably produce a list of my favorite books plural, but does it make sense to look at one book and say this is my favorite?

@Penny

True, I can't even begin to guess my favorite book of all time.

The Hobbit — #gatekeeping here but any true Tolkien fan knows the Children of Húrin is the only good answer. ;) OK, but seriously, this is sarcasm, I’d like to meet someone who enjoyed the Hobbit.

@Odin

I thoroughly love the Hobbit, what's wrong with it? I honestly found Children of Hurin to be a little boring but still interesting.

This isn't working out

I have never heard of Atlas Shrugged until this thread, and I did have to read Ayn Rand in school.

@Kassarock The Boris Johnson book and the Harry Potter mention killed me. I never did read Harry Potter (I was too busy with more adult fantasy/sci fi books) but I know that is a lot of people who you've cast aside. I commend you.

This isn't working out

@Kassarock And yet you did not mention a novel...curious