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8 yrs ago
Current Malfunctioning Space Toilet (favorite death post in RPG) : roleplayerguild.com/posts/4…
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10 yrs ago
Example of a "Character Flaw": roleplayerguild.com/posts/32..
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Most Recent Posts

@Charnobylisk

"You vould DARE play The Great Bazhooli for fool? To treat as witless rube, here for your benefit? A fellow Cossack, using feminine viles to oil down The Great Bazhooli for to use as own personal Slip & Slide? You vould make him submit to your deranged, perverted proclivities for purpose of...

...ok, The Great Bazhooli is not saying NO, but with respect, da?"
@Jotunn Draugr

Hi. Quick reminder, you're on Day Four since your last post. TWD - Y3 is a "twice a week" RP, rather than Lady A's usual "Once a Week" or "5 Days" RP. Let's see some more Lawrence action.
@Lady Amalthea @Caits @Nallore @Sigil @Charnobylisk @jakeb1993 @Morose @Jotunn Draugr

Okie Dokie ladies and gents, Post Time Skip skills:

Based on the people your characters have been associating with, the stuff we've discussed in chat or in the OOC, and jobs your characters have been assigned, here is a simple and straightforward list of skills, per character, that you may add to your CS under Post Outbreak Skills.

You have 48 hours to edit these into your CS. Past that point, they are unavailable. If you try to edit after that point, it will result in an immediate kick from the RP.

Skills must be added exactly as they appear here. Do not alter. Welcome to character development.

Ashton Holloway - Basic Boxing
James Grady - General Hunting
Kristina Smith - Basic Farming (Instead of Very Basic)/ Very Basic Animal Husbandry
Richard Johnson - Basic Carpentry
Zoie Crawford - Basic Leadership/ Sniper Rifle
Victor Bonheur - Basic Distilling
Sophia Harris - First Aid
Tatiana Korvo - Games
Bridgette Vinters - Very Basic Cooking
Astrid Hansen - Basic Medical
Brynja Johannsson - Basic Shield Fighting
Niesha Burkstien - Basic Gardening
Jack Hudson - Really Really Very Basic Dancing
Maybe he can work it in as a character quirk. Keeps confusing the sisters' names. He's an older guy, angry a lot. Mere details shouldn't slow his rant.

Plus, there's this:
Okay! The long awaited submission of my latest Victim of Circumstance! Yay!





Caesar Gonzalez


Location: Queensguard Industries RnD Industrial Complex - The Diamond District




Caesar took a sip from his coffee and set the cup back onto his desk. Something about this seemed off. Then again, recently obvious, related murders originally intended to look like suicides tended to do that to most situations. There might not be any connection between the deaths and the property owners, but with nothing else to go on, Caesar was willing to pull this string if only to see what unraveled. "That lady there, her company also owns the buildings we live in. And the one across the way. And the one next to it - The one Danica fell from. Another thing, her and her goons were talking about this place while they were moving boxes."

Something else seemed off, too: A level of micromanagement, painfully uncommon among people of the business standing this Stephanie Gretchen had. "M'hija, if I was Presidente of a big, shiny real estate company, why the ass would I personally oversee box moving near the docks? I need to see what's on those boxes and where they got to. Can you get into the storage company's security video storage?"

The other issue with the video was the problem of translation. As it turned out, he had met a native Russian speaker earlier that day. Just so happened that she lived in the same set of buildings as he and his girls. There were possible difficulties with going to her for the translation, however. First, Caesar didn't know how extensive the presence of Russian speakers were in the city of Justice; if there were relatively few, the chance would be higher information would slip to people he'd rather it didn't. Also, for the sake of breaking off conversation quickly, he adopted the mannerisms of a Mr. Super Creepy Rob Lowe. If he were to come a'knocking now, it could make for an awkward opening conversation. And all that is if she's even inclined to help out anyway.

"Hey M'hija, what do you know about that girl, Lana?"
@jakeb1993

Hi. Quick reminder, you're on Day Four since your last post. TWD - Y3 is a "twice a week" RP, rather than Lady A's usual "Once a Week" or "5 Days" RP. Let's see some more Gregory action.


William Harper

Location: Retribution, Quarters & Bridge


Liam took a deep breath and straightened his posture. He was in the Alliance Military again; it was time to carry himself as such. His one concession against the starch stiffness of his situation was his wrench - a large and painful affair that he generally kept fixed to his person as one would tether or sheathe a large carpenter's hammer.

The rigid discipline ordinarily expected of every member of the Alliance Military was often relaxed as it came to pilots. Relaxed in some ways, in any case. Certain personnel were given liberties, owing to the nature of their work. Pilots, Doctors, certain specialists; an element of tradition and/or superstition came along with longstanding occupations that would take a morale blow, and thusly compromised effectiveness, were they denied their little eccentricities. It could have been so much more awkward than a massive wrench, too. William had heard stories about pilots who refused to change their undergarments until after a rotation was over. Another insisted on the callsign of "Shifty Giggler" and refused to speak into his comm unit otherwise. Yet another one recited the Saint Crispin's Day speech before takeoff, every time.

He doubted the Alliance would begrudge him a wrench, so long as it was secured. Especially out near the Rim.

Not to say that Lieutenant Harper was undisciplined. Quite the opposite, his life was abundant with orders, work, and hardship; the kind that most people (even military types) never had to experience. Scars on one's psyche weren't always apparent, but they left their traces. Luckily, his weren't as obvious as some people's under similar conditions.

William Harper returned to the Bridge in short order, as promised. He paused along the way for just a second to take note of another new arrival, walking past him down the corridor in the opposite direction. Tall, dark-skinned man wearing ridiculously expensive clothing suited to a rustic gentleman; not Central Planet attire, but easily as stylish and costly. His impression of the man was that of perceived importance; he was there for a specific reason, at a guess. At the very least, he did not look like standard military. At the moment though, it was little of his concern. He was the ship's Pilot, and he had a job to execute. A curt nod and he was on his way again.

His return to the bridge prompted him to offer another salute to the Captain before taking his place at the helm. Were he on a larger ship, his role would be more specialized. In a patrol boat, his duties would be threefold: Flight Officer, Navigator, and Helmsman. Right at this moment, it was Navigator. Settled into the helm, Liam pulled up the NavComp and punched in Persephone's real-time coordinates. Next, the planet Athens. True, they were shooting for Whitefall, but Whitefall was a moon orbiting Athens. The larger body would prove to be the gravitational force they had to worry about when slowing to approach speeds. That's when they would need a competent and initiative taking Helmsman. Luckily, he was that, too.

"Course set in for Whitefall, Captain. At full burn, we stand to arrive in just over two days, sixteen hours. Ready to go at your command. Departure time, sir?"



Foy Coiffeur

Location: "Foy-er"


The irrepressible Foy was taking to his family's ancestral craft with vim and proficiency. The trappings of a classical barber at work lay organized and clean on a small workstation in between a wall mirror and a vintage-looking apparatus that was obviously a tastefully constructed reproduction of a barber's chair from Earth That Was. A clean, white towel hung over one forearm, and the opposite hand held a stylized straightrazor. It was a different tool than the one he was seen stropping earlier; somewhat smaller, more squared. Less intimidating, too. Some clients wanted more basic sort of service with little in the way of personal touches. Foy has satisfied to oblige, despite his instinct to treat each such dealing with an amount of upper class panache.

The (un)fortunate crewman in his chair had his face half covered with warm lather, a cottony bib attached snugly around his neck. Foy bore own upon him from his rear flank, deftly removing lather and stubble both in steady, practiced strokes. As fit his custom, Mr. Coiffeur was holding a mostly one-sided conversation with the man. It was an interesting psychological phenomenon in humankind - the willingness to stay quiet and still while someone else pressed a blade against their face, regardless of what they might be saying at the moment. Case in point:

"Yeoman, eh there, sport? Well, I am flooded with satisfaction that you made it into my parlor, nonetheless. You yeomen, you ah... Carry the bags and such, push mops, do you not?" Foy scraped away another line of facial hair from the enlisted man, continuing, "Well, no matter. It's all necessary to keep things tidy for the rest of us. Chin up there, son! No no, I mean raise your chin, Yeo-y. And thank you..."

Foy continued his work with grace and speed. He was an artist at his craft, and open conversationalist during, despite thinly veiled annoyance at the plight of the common man. I've never Yeo'ed, myself. But I did have the pleasure of having another yeoman in my chair a score or so years back. Charming fellow, in his own way. Silly boy got himself shuffled off to the hereafter two days later. Thanks to me, the corpse looked superbly dapper. I do hope one day you are likewise blessed, good sir."

The final few swipes were taken, revealing a fresh face unmarred by nick or razor burn. It truly looked as if the young man was born without the capacity to grow a beard of any sort, so close and thorough a job was completed by Foy Coiffeur. The barber wiped the blade on the towel over his other arm, folded said towel deftly and pressed it to his client's face, removing the last flecks of lather. He stepped back to his workstation, selecting a two ounce bottle of pale blue liquid. He rubbed a bit into his hands and slapped it brusquely upon the man's cheeks.

At that moment a voice sounded from behind him, using an expletive in alliteration with his presented first name. A combination he had heard many a time before, and with certainty was used many more times behind his back. Fucking Foy.

He risked a sideways glance backward to confirm his suspicions. Addressing the man in his chair, he intoned in a low voice, "Keep the aftershave, Yeo-y. You need to stand up slowly, and walk out of this parlor. Do not look back." Foy quietly retrieved the razor he was just using and pulled out the oversized, personal one he kept on his belt. The Yeoman took his barber's advice, exiting with a confused and concerned expression on his clean and dolphin-smooth face. Foy turned to square off with this new threat, coming for him inside his very own Foy-er.

The very second his client was out of view, Foy nearly split his sides in mirthful guffawing. Setting both razors down, he looked to his fellow gentleman, exclaiming, "Why, Jumping Josie Moreau, you delicious mahogany rapscallion! As I live and breathe, directly in my mobile parlor! Whyever would you come slumming, you old so-and-so?"

Foy's face froze for a half second, "Oh, something is afoot, is it not? Well come along, have a cup of coffee and give me all the scandalous details."



Caesar Gonzalez


Location: Queensguard Industries RnD Industrial Complex - The Diamond District




Caesar looked at the one security agent leaving fast and angry, smiling internally. Between him and the quivering mass of squishy humanity that was tossed out on his ass, he knew that his girls were doing their jobs. He paused his Scorpion's forward momentum just long enough to catch a little video and snap a couple of stills before continuing on the the front security checkpoint.

So, he was "The Mexican" they were supposed to let in. At least that's what he heard over the radio. This means his M'hija saw him pulling up. Either she was very busy, which was possible, or she was unwilling to speak with him unless he had a compelling reason. Maybe he was being paranoid with the personal investigation he decided to launch. Even if he was, that paranoia led back to his daughter's worksite. Considering the related deaths that had occurred recently, Caesar really didn't care if Alicia and Lorna thought he was completely, rabidly insane. He was following this up. But first...

"Yeah, you can search me. Go ahead." he taunted. "I'll tell you exactly what you'll find, too. A large, painful knife. Another large, painful knife. A Heckler & Koch .45 pistol with lots of bullets, and the paperwork that says I can carry them; out there 'cause my permits are valid and in here 'cause I'm the fucking boss."

He stepped in close to the younger security agent, close enough for him to detect Caesar's subtle cologne. It was a wood scent, he was sure of it. Wood, and weapons-grade testosterone. "You'll also find a flask containing some of the finest mescal you've never had the pleasure of standing this near to. Search the trike, too. You might find a roadmap and some Fritos." The old man did have a fondness for Fritos while traveling. "Ball's in your court, Security Guard. You want to search a man that can fire you, on the spot, with a history of cutting open chingĂłnes that piss him off and bungee jumping with their intestines?"

The novice guard looked like he was going to soil himself and pass out. "Nnn... uh, N'Yes! Um, yes, Sir, Mr. Gonzalez, sir. I, um.. we ah, have to search you. Sir."

Caesar smiled genuinely. His voice picked up to a much more personable tone. "Good. Unless it's by Executive Order, everyone gets searched, no matter how important they think they are. Even me. You'd better get to it."

After a fast but thorough search, Caesar was re-equipped and on premises. An escort showed him to the main security room, where he immediately found a terminal and started running a company-wide search on Gretchen Mortgage LLC under his security clearance. While that was compiling, he uploaded the footage he had taken to the same corner of MSS's intranet, as a readily available backup. He had some searching to do, before returning home for his eventual meeting with the Forensic Tech, Cecily. While pouring over his work for the next hour or so, the elder man flagged down a base level employee, tasking her with two things: Find him a strong cup of coffee, and inform Alicia that her presence is required at the request of her father.


Ashton Holloway



Location: Mess Hall




Ash looked down at Ryan, now kneeling on the floor. Then back up to Zoie. Ordinarily, this would be the time that he evaluates new arrivals and explains the ins and outs of their struggling but hopeful community. Newnan needed people. As many people as their supplies could sustain. The more the merrier; it meant safety. It meant industry. More hands to find or produce food meant more food for everyone. Expansion. Taking back their part of the world.

Except for this guy. Hearing the word "Eden", Ash took instant distrust.

The newest new guy spoke directly to Ash, not quite making a demand but not quite asking, either. Rather ballsy approach for a man on his knees, hands bound behind him, with two guns trained on his head. All the same, he knew for a fact that he wasn't going to put a round in Ryan's face right that second. Probably not the next one, either. He had come to say something, and the Captain was going to hear him speak. Simple enough to start.

"Yes. I'm the guy in charge, thanks to you asshairs. But as long as we're trying to be civil, I'm happy to lower my gun." True to his word, Ash took aim about three feet lower on the man, the barrel pointed in the general vicinity of the man's pant zipper. "You came here to warn Zoie. So warn her. Warn me, too."

Ashton glanced back to his new Second for an instant, and addressed her. "Make sure our guest is fed and has an armed escort. Then show him to one of our secure rooms in the Courthouse. I would like to speak with him in greater detail when I'm finished with my work today."

"Victor! Whenever you're ready, let's go make some peach brandy." Ash glanced to the young couple, the cop and the ballerina, "You two, feel free to take the tour. Newnan's not like it used to be, but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised."



Black James!



Location: Newnan, Inner Wall - Smoker




"Now ya see, Miss Doe... Can I callya Jane?" James had an odd habit of talking to things he was cooking, especially if he was by himself. It was a way for him to get ideas articulated, really out in the open. In this way, he could accept or reject an idea based on the merit of how ludicrous or acceptable it sounded when spoken aloud. The fact that he was addressing a smoking carcass notwithstanding, it made sense. To him.

"Now Jane, we don't know each other. An I ain't got nothing against you, neither. Just that you guys taste so friggin' good when you're done up into sausages and stew meat. Get me some carrots an boil down your bones for a few hours.. Mmm hmmm. Yes'm, you are a tasty beast. So I hope you won't take this the wrong way, when I propose to Bossman and Bosslady 'bout getting hunting parties together. I mean, I been learning 'bout more than just hogs lately; buncha muthafuckas need more than corn an' peanuts, keep their strength up."

"Hell you mean, "It's too dangerous"? Well I guess you'd know, wouldn't'cha? One hundred people left in Georgia, you get yo bitch ass hit by a truck. Don't you talk to me about dangerous. I was out there since the beginnin'. Never got hit by no car, set up in a grill, neither."




Bridgette Vinters


Location: Newnan Inner Wall




Bridgette was hoping that she would see her new friend out and about in Newnan, but it was just not the case. The stoic, nigh violent Bryn could take care of herself, no doubt about it, but she did have concerns sometimes. That thought gave her pause, if only for a moment. She genuinely liked someone that wasn't herself or Astrid. The Captain guy, too. They had spent some time together, sparring. And Zoie was alright! Even that guy that called himself a Blackneck - he was a hell of a guy (but that hat). There were others, too. Sally, from the kitchens. Tomory. The Future Mrs. Hook. Bridgette (gasp) liked these people. Well, most of them. And some of them she was really coming to care about.

She sat atop her Cadence as the realization slammed into her. These mismatched asshats and borderline crazy people were fast becoming her mismatched asshats and borderline crazy people. Just as much as any of the villagers from her last settlement. And in a relatively short time, too. It's amazing the difference one month can make. Marveling over her place in this new town, working for with a good group, she hardly noticed the scent of sticky rot until it was obvious and nauseating. Just down the street, painfully upwind from Bridgette, shuffled a figure covered with gore and corruption.

Why in the hell did the guys in charge make her put away her weapons? Her spear might save a life today; maybe her axe. Even her seax would be preferable to having to bash the undead bastard's brains open with the knuckle points on her full length bracers.

"Jævla helvete!" she swore quietly, maneuvering Cadence as quietly as she could around behind the shuffling monster. God, it stank. When she was done killing it, she'd have to bury it twice. Leaning down from her horse, Bridgette snatched up a five foot length of piping leaning against the distillery storage with others of its kind, and kicked Cadence into a gallop.

Bridgette aimed Cadence just to the left of the Biter, intending to make a passing swipe at its head from behind. If successful, she could explode the fucker's head with a stout, well placed swing. And she'd better get it before it took notice of anyone living. Bree had no idea who fell asleep at the switch, but whoever let one of the Dead inside was going to get a full snakeboot colonoscopy courtesy of Miss Vinters.

The enraged Valkyrie did as Shakespeare instructed, and lent her eye a terrible aspect as she bore down upon her target, pipe raised, screaming a single word at the top of her lungs: "VALHALLA!!!"

The thing stopped. Even looked a little confused. It was carrying a bag, a very full bag. Carrying? The Dead don't carry. What was going on here? At the last possible moment, Bridgette pulled up her pipe and blew past. Reigning around, she took a closer look at her "Biter". It was Richard.

"Fucking God fucking damnit, DICK! Why in putrid fuck are you covered in liquid dead people? You damn near made me fix Zoie and Astrid's personal problems, you rank bitchfist! God! No, no... you're not going to the fucking showers yet. You and me are gonna find a garden hose so I can blast the STANK off of you before you set foot inside a door. C'mon. And stay downwind!"

"Why the fuck are you wearing an entire corpse, anyway?"

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