stone — Roleplayer Guild

"What is it now?" The admissions officer watched the next applicant enter. Surely there wouldn't be anything quite as ridiculous as the previous few.

A young man with brown hair and an earnest face sat down.

"Hello sir, I am AJ Underfoot."

"AJ? I have an interview for..." He looked down at his paper. "...Astaroth, Taker of Souls, Lord Above All, Master of the 8th Underworld Legion."

"Erm, yes, that's me," AJ said. "My mother filled out the form. She can be a bit over the top."

Exaggerated accomplishments were par for the course, but something as extravagant as this application was surely a joke. Still, procedure was procedure. The admissions officer sighed and crumpled up the sheet. "Alright, I can walk you through the process again. Name, age, gender, nationality?"

AJ nodded. "AJ Underfoot. 15. Male. Federation."

"I can fill out these sections real quick..." The officer scribbled Appearance matches photo. A bit taller than the picture suggests, maybe 5'6"?

"Just to be safe, you are human, right?"

AJ looked down at his shoes. "Half. My mother is a demon."

The officer blinked. "Your mother is a what?"

"It's complicated. She's Vivian, 2nd ranking demon of lust."

It only gets crazier every year. He wrote down "half-demon" and continued. Despite the boy's odd parentage, the officer felt a sort of compelling desire to help and protect the boy. Maybe he was getting too sentimental. "Any physical skills?"

"Nothing much. I can do what's normal, I guess."

"Alright. What sort of magic can you do?"

"I'm a summoner. I can call beings to my aid."

The officer leaned over the desk. "Okay, kid. Procedure dictates that I ask you to show me your magic. Will it explode?"

"No."

"Will it set fire to the premises?"

"Probably not."

"Do you need a test subject? A guinea pig or rat or something?" He thought back to the previous interviewee. He'd handed the guinea pig off to the creatures handler for safekeeping.

"Nope. I have my materials right here, and they're all inanimate."

He sighed in relief. "Alright, show me."

The boy pulled out a roll of fabric and laid it out on the ground, then began to draw a circle in chalk. His lines were surprisingly smooth, and he sketched out the design with a practiced eye. The end result- a circle with a five-point star inscribed within it. The design looked rather familiar.

"So, um, I have to do a chant, if that's alright," AJ said.

"Go ahead."

The officer immediately regretted his decision to allow it. AJ began speaking in a strange eldritch tongue, spitting out syllables like hot discs of flame. It felt as if small worms were being forced into his ears, crawling their slimy way into his head and eating the soft grey matter inside. The strong scent of burning flesh and wood smoke filled the room before gradually dispersing into a strong smell of lavender.

"Oh no," AJ said. "Anyone but her, please! Why??"

A column of red smoke erupted from the center of the circle, making the officer's eyes water. Inside the smoke, he could see the outlined form of a demon. "W̵̩̾ͅH̵̦̆́Ȏ̴͓̮͌ ̷͖̂D̶̙͖͌A̴̡͔̎͠R̵̖͑E̵̫͑S̷̻̝̏ ̷̛̟T̵̮͖͐O̵̧̥̍ ̵̢́S̸̟̓̒U̸̧̓́Ḿ̴͎̠M̸̜͓͗͊O̷̰͆̆N̴̹͊͂-̴̹͆ ̷̟̂ oh, it's just you, Astaroth. Do you need something? Did you forget your lunch at home? How is the interview going?"

The smoke cleared. The admission officer's heart rate jumped. In front of him was a goddess- or rather, the opposite of one, perched on the side of a floating pitchfork. Wonderfully proportioned with red skin, she gave off an exuberant exotic charm. Two pointed horns stuck out from her flowing dark hair. She wore a strangely modern low-cut dress suit that barely went over her knees, maintaining modesty and sexiness at the same time. A pair of glasses perched on her nose. Her mouth had wonderfully full lips, which moved in a fashion that he oh so dearly wanted on... wait...

"Sorry, what did you say?" he asked. "I didn't, uh, quite catch that."

"I asked, has my son been troubling you?" She shifted on her seat expectantly, exposing more leg.

He tore his eyes off her and tried to look at AJ instead. He failed in that endeavor, and found his eyes slowly tracking her form once more. "Oh, erhm, not at all! He's been very, very respectful."

Her expression shifted to a sort of annoyed disappointment. "Astaroth Jonathan Underfoot! What did I tell you about being respectful?"

AJ looked like he wanted to sink down into the floor. "...That nobody will fear me if I defer to them."

"Exactly! Did you even proclaim your dominion over the territory as you stepped in the building?"

"No, Mother."

"And I suppose you didn't even try to charm any girls on the way in, did you? Nobody prettier than a hellhound?"

"There was one that was literally hot, but no."

"Don't take that kind of tone with me, young devil!" If you are to become a worthy demon, you must become bad!"

AJ didn't answer.

"Continue with the interview, human. Don't just sit there slack-jawed. Have you never seen a lust devil before? Get over yourself. I am happily married. Oh, and make it quick, for I am rather cross right now."

He closed his mouth and hastily shuffled his papers. "Ah, yes, what sort of things can you do with your magic?"

AJ didn't even have a chance to say a word.

"My son can use the circles to summon various beings and command them to do tasks. you hear that, AJ? No more of that 'asking' you do."

"Yes, mother."

"And what can these tasks be?"

"Anything within the summoned being's power, so long as a sufficient payment is transferred. For example, as payment for today's summoning, Astaroth here is grounded until he finishes an essay on how to seduce women!"

"Well, that seems rather hars-"

The devil pointed at him. She certainly did have sharp nails. "Don't interfere on family matters, or I will have your soul sentenced to the Sixth Circle. Now, AJ, treat this man like he really deserves."

"Um, you WILL let me into the academy, or I will, uh, haggle your entrails." AJ buried his face in his hands. His mother gave him a hug from behind.

"That's my little hellspawn. The threat could use some work, but the spirit was there. Did you see that? Did you see how my boy threatened you?"

The admissions officer nodded. "Yes. Last question." He was beginning to contemplate resigning. No amount of money could keep him here. "Why Fae Creek?"

"Why, only a school as perfectly horrendous as this one could suit my wonderful child! Have you never raised a demon? This is a perfect environment for him to learn the ins and outs of tyranny."

"Thank you. That's wonderful. The interview is over. I wish you luck, young man." He could not get them out fast enough.

The demon disappeared again in a flash of smoke and lavender. AJ gathered his things and left, not meeting the admission officer's eyes.

I definitely overdid it. Still, this was hella fun to write :)

Rel
"Peace is truly the greatest thing."

Full Name:
	Rel
Age:
	Fifty-eight
Gender: 
	Male
Race: 
	Human
Birthday: 
	14th of Dimertu
Appearance:
	A massively muscled man of incredible presence. The only part the gives away his age is his white hair. Bears a scar over one eye. Wears various pelts of animals sewn in a patchwork fashion, or a red cloak on holidays.
Job Title:
	Woodsman, Wild Man, however you want to slice it
Residency:
	4 Seasons - he was the man they sent to catalogue and document the area before settlement

Positive Traits:
	Courageous ; Clever ; Skillful
Negative Traits:
	Boisterous ; Overbearing ; Impulsive
Likes:
Meats
Vegetables
Woodcarving - He's especially good at making heroic sculptures
Alcohol
Campfires

Dislikes:
Speeches - Everyone just takes too damn long to say one thing!
Sand
Guns

Hobbies:
	Rel enjoys woodcarving, swimming, fishing, melee hunting, hiking, and all other sorts of physical activity one can do in the wild. Sometimes, he sits on the side of a mountain and eats food as he just watches time go by.

Heart Meter
Cresta Dustwallow - ♥♥♥♥♥
Iz Ah Bel - ♥♥♥♥♥
Alastair Doppler - ♥♥♥♥♥

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